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11|27|02 The sweetest thing.
I need to post this to serve as a reminder always.
"I turned my entire life around to meet somebody just like you."

11|26|02 Expelliarmus.
I have a new motto -- Oh Well. I am just not going to care anymore, because caring is what has made things so terrible. I am just going to be so laid back and carefree, I swear I will be like the guy on Office Space. It's going to be great.
Last week I said I had the best staff meeting, but now I have to take it back; tonight's meeting was the best yet. We had a food fight, complete with a pie to my coordinator's face! Oooh, soooo sweet. But before the meeting I had the championship game for volleyball... we aren't champions and we didn't get the t-shirts. =( I don't even want to talk about it, sniff sniff...
On a happier note, I finally saw Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets yesterday! Excellent. I was very happy with it, though in both movies they had the end part of a joke/semi-plot from the book, but not the beginning part. I think that was poor decision making, but I still love Harry Potter. ^_^

11|24|02 Making me ill.
I'm so sick of trash talking. Especially when people won't say it to the person's face. Especially when the person is trying to sound intelligent, but is actually sounding dumber.
And I'm sick of people who criticize everyone, but can't take any criticism of themselves.
So sick of work.
So sick of school.
And I'm sick of freshman residents.
And I'm sick of being poor.
And I'm sooo sick of candy. (...wait, no I'm not.)
I'm sick of not knowing.
I'm sick of no trust in my life. Everyone is keeping secrets from me. Who can I trust?
Sick of getting angry.
Sick of crying.
Sick of not being perfect. Hypocrite.

Happy birthday Kyle.

11|21|02 In between molecules of oxygen and carbon dioxide.
It's amazing, and not just a little uncomfortable, how much of my life is up in the air right now. There are so many things that I don't know. And so many things that I need to take care of, but can't.

People develop serious disorders and complexes to feel like they have some control over their own lives.
Losing control. Helplessness. It's all very scary.

Look for my life, it's floating around up there ...somewhere.

11|19|02 Wow.
"Wow." That's a quote by the infamous Kenza, and I think that about sums it all up.
I had a breakthrough in communication tonight - with my staff and my residents - it was the so cool. I almost feel like my soul has been cleansed or something; that took such a heavy burden off of me. Tonight's staff meeting was possibly the best we've had all year. I think everybody learned something about themselves, which is always one of the best things ever. Even when you learn it's something bad. Because then you can work on that and make yourself a better person. But it's especially nice when it's good. ^_^ I had a floor meeting after the staff one, and it definitely was the best one of the entire year. They were actually mature, and we actually addressed the problems and dealt with them. That just makes me really happy.
I forgot to mention this last week: my intramural volleyball team went undefeated (we're going to win the tournament & get free champion t-shirts too!). EAT IT, sororities!

11|17|02 For now...we toast.
I had been thinking about "terminating" this site for the past few months, and after having only one response (one puny vote in the poll) to my big update, my site was about to commit suicide itself. But, just in the nick of time, I have found a reason to keep it, at least for a while.

I have commenting now! Yay!

I'm also working on a new layout. Part of the reason I wanted to stop the site was because I don't really like how it looks. It's not going to be completely different, but I think will be much happier with it. And, oh yeah, I was looking up web cams and it turns out that they're not that expensive at all. So I think I'll get one. If I ever get to an electronics store somehow.
Here's to looking forward to a brighter future.

11|15|02 Just the thought of it's enough to penetrate my comfort zone.

What kind of fairy are you?

brought to you by Quizilla
I thought this quiz was kind of interesting because I have been feeling quite aggressive and passionate lately. I have just been really really irritable, and it has resulted in unabashed honesty from me. I've just been telling people exactly what I think of them, usually when I'm pissed off at them. And I get really passionate about how much they suck. Pretty cool, huh.

I suck.

I figured out today that I have a profound ambivalence toward everything and anything. I'm trying to decide if that makes me a hypocrite, since it's just in thought, and not in action. I think a
hypocrite is one of the worst things to be. Anyway, complete and utter ambivalence can only lead to anger and apathy. The more I think, the harder it is for me to feel anything else. Sometimes it hits you really hard just how true "ignorance is bliss" is. Ignorance isn't just not knowing; it's knowing, but refusing to acknowledge. Which seems like the only way out sometimes.
On a happier note, since I'm on duty this weekend and have to spend hours upon hours in my room, I have updated the site. Pretty much every page is updated. I hope you enjoy. I have always really really wanted a webcam page, and now that Kyle and Ben have theirs up, I really really really want one. Maybe after Christmas I'll be able to afford one.
I think I'm going to spend all my money and find temporary comfort and happiness in material things.
P.S. This is for Ben.

11|04|02 Just another manic Monday.
Today wasn't really that manic, I just wanted to use that as the title. Today was actually fairly smooth and pleasant. It's just tonight. Why do I do this to myself? I have a big test tomorrow and I have been doing everything I can for the last two hours to avoid studying, and it's finally come to updating my page.
Maybe my parents were right. Nevermind. The other day I discovered that isn't true, because, as coming to college proves, we get dumber with age. (For example: I can't even spell anymore, and I was the spelling bee champ in 3rd grade.) Therefore, we are smarter than our parents, and, perhaps, we did know everything when we were teens. Hmmm.
Anyway, I went to see hot rod circuit and dashboard confessional on Friday. Even though I was in the balcony and everyone was sitting completely still around me, I was rockin out. Hot rod circuit was excellent. DC could've been better, but the finale made up for it, hands down.
Okay, I think I've eaten enough half-off leftover halloween candy to get me through the night now. I'm going to conquer the beast.
To allof you, Thanks for everything! Linsey Kyle-mar