Quotes from friends

These are a collection of interesting and sometimes very stupid things people I know have said over the past few years, in no particular order. Enjoy :) (and yes if you're reading - you did say that!)

"Oh shit man, where'd the road go man!" -Kerry-
*Kerry thinking the ride home was a 'video game'*

"Where are we? I can hear burgers." -Holly-
*Holly drunk*

"Mr Brailsford... The swamp ate my shoe!" -Nic-
*On snow camp we came across swamp*

"Okay, who would ever wear that... except if they were in a cage." -Lucy-
*Commenting on someones clothing*

"Cause thats my opinion, and my opinion dominates." -Amberley-

"What? Its not like its a penis." -Libby-
*Katie investigates Libbys drawings*

"Its such a romantic view - lets all have romantic pashes!" -Joy-
*Joy enjoys the view from the hills*

"Boy + boy + boy + boy + boy = maggots?" -Kerry-
*Talking about a flat full of boys*

"I dont have my I.D., I cant dance, I can only fuck" -Holly-
*When her I.D.'s were taken off her*

"My Dad likes motorbikes and stuff." -Tammy-
*Mocking Beau*

"Grow an imagination pencil-hore." -Nick-
*Coming up with insults*

"Is the correct answer... cucumber!?" -John-
*Not listening to the question"

"Farewell you foul disgusting rat, I shall not miss thee." -Koren-
*Korens 'last words'*

"Do you know whats gonna be sad about university?... Its not gonna be like dead man on campus." -Louisa-
*Having a thoughtful moment*

"Mrs Lancaster, I'd rather suck cock in hell." -Tim-
*Tim being asked if he was coming back to english*

"I dont know if you should breed, James." -Koren-
*James wants to have children*

"I wish you would die." -Bear-
*Typical comeback*

"I give it a good five minutes before it blows up" -Laura-
*Talking about an abandoned van*

"....but I dont wanna be Jesus" -Greg-
*Trying to get out of his shift*

"Whats this place... Swannanoa? What sort of place is Swannanoa, thats almost as bad as Waddington" -John-
*When we drove around the country side*

"WADDINGTON!?!?!" -Beau-
*When we came across Waddington*

"Some Lion King fan YOU are" -John-
*Accusing Bear*

"I parked my tree under a car" -Kerry-
*A moment of distraction*

"I'm allowed to have a chochole freklet" -Libby-
*Mixing up words*

"Drugs sex are ok...but rock n roll outta the question" -John-
*his mums policies*

"I have an idea, after this we can watch Court devour some cheese" -Geoff-
*In an Arnold Schwarzenegger type voice*

"I was gonna come round bout an hour ago" -Kerry-
"You prolly would have been lit on fire by the dragons" -Beau-
"Hmmm good thing I didn't then huh" -Kerry-

"I don't like having a lot of it, I'm a man of moderation" -Jayden-
*In an Indian Resteraunt*

"I know, I like being disgusting" -Greg-
*Proving Louisa's point*

"Wanna do something at the other end then?..." -Amos-
*Drunkenly mixing things up*

"I'm drunk and I'm a chainsaw, but you don't see me bragging" -Beau-
*Preaching the virtues of modesty*

"I didn't mean hit him, I meant scare him... by hitting him* -Court-
*Typical Court logic"

"Give mud, saves knives... Rhyme is fun!" -John-
*When Libby was giving blood at University*

"Why penis-bo... Ohhhh" -Laura-
*Asking why someone was refering to Beau as 'penis-beau' hahaha*

"Beau your a terrible doorstop" -Geoff-

"It contracts like a xylephone... Wait..." -Jamie-
*Trying to think of an analogy for the kitten*

"Oh, oh, OH thats a penis..." -Libby-
*Aproaching a large metal sculpture*

"John, I'll give you NOTHING if you eat this wad of paper" -Beau-
*Beaus bribing skills are lacking a litte*

"I think smoking is hot" -John-
*Winding Danni up*

"Kind of like Islam, you know how they believe that
Jewdism and Christianity were once 'valid' religions, but
that Mohammad is God's final prophet, kind of like...
I... I really don't know where I'm going with this" -Libby-
*Forgetting the point*

"It feels like its going to taste yum" -Beau-
*Buttering his toast*

"You know what, I just really don't like ugly people" -Kylie-
*When she first met someone*

*Fire alarm sounds, everyone leaves Marco Polo...*
"Marco Polo are you clear?" -Firewarden-
"Yiiip" -Employee-
"Wheres your boss?!?" -Firewarden-
"Ah, in the kitchen" -Employee-
"WHAT? Thats not clear at all!" -Firewarden-

"Are you drunk? You probably think that Shaq is the best basketball player... Oh god, you do" -John-
*Arguing with Tawhai*

"Im just sour" -Laura-
*Lamenting about her situation*

"Yeah well if I had octopi I wouldn't even be talking to you" -John-
*Wanting to buy some angst*

"I was boosting it and this lady wouldn't let me in, so I boosted some more... I only popped a tyre" -Court-
*Courts famous logic*

"If I have to drink this through a straw you're not coming upstairs to my imaginary lounge" -Brendon-
*When being threatened*

"She's like a block, an attractive block" -Holly-
*Trying to describe someone*

"Roses are red, and Holly is sexy, I want to eat mushy peas with her" -Joy-
*Attempting to create a love poem*

"Well I see ass, hurry up. Just get the damn mcmuffins Holly.
We're looking for robot mcmuffins" -John-
*holding Holly up to search for the robot mcmuffins*

"That box is neither robot nor edible" -John-
*When they didn't find the robot mcmuffins*

"I'm in love with a gay man who doesn't know if he's a plant or a human" -Joy-
*Love troubles?*

"No, no, seriously... Is that cake good to go?" -Geoff-
*When the mind wanders to more important things*

"OW!... Gimme that!" -Laura-
*Expecting the culprit to hand the weapon over so she can get revenge*

"Me and my liver have an understanding" -Holly-
*Attempting to describe why her liver will be okay*

*Silence*
"God damn Canadians and their Canadianism" -Josh-
*Random outburst by Josh*

"She consumed my ring somehow... Oh now, there it is" -Laura-
*Thinking her kitten had eaten her ring*

"I am Mem-dor, fear my Quantum plastic" -Beau-
*A random note he left on a memo pad*

"And she tucks them into her scarf.., belt I mean" -Andy-
*Too drunk to even critisize someone's dress sense*

"I'm part of Geddis' fan club!" -Geoff-
*Trying to contradict us*

"I could go get some scroggsie with coggsie!" -Joy-
*All excited about Beau coming over so she can get some scoggin*

"Ever since I was a young boy I've had the ability to see penises where there aren't any" -Andy-
*Talking about phallic shaped objects*

"Would you pronounce that vokka-yak or voukka-yak?" -Laura-
"Ah... Vok-kayak." -Libby-

"I can like, swim in your stuff" -Geoff-
*Examining Lauras room*

"I'm not a racist, I just like racist jokes, does that make me a bad person?" -Andy-
"Yes." -John-

"Oh man, I gotta wake up at some sorta hour tomorow..." -Henry-
*Lamenting about going on holiday*

"John would you be a darlin' and share your harddrive?" -Andy-
*Sweet-talking John*

"He's really gorging himself there... I'm hungry" -Beau-
*When we were watching porn*

"I'm a five-star all-state beat box champion" -Josh-
*Flaunting his skills*

"Kinky wooden leg... Yar!" -Henry-
*Talking about kinky pirate type-things*

"I'm the curry expert!" -Laura-
*Enjoying spreading her knowledge of curry*

"That corners a doozy!" -Geoff-
*Playing a game*

"Ew you evil wench for making me drink that" -Kimberley-
*After drinking awful wine*

"Hey theres two chicks in that car and an odd looking one in the back, oh god thats a guy!" -Henry-
*Talking about himself*

"Yeah, I'd do it, it'd kind of be like charity work" -Annie-
*Talking about handicap sex*

"Technically, if it was 1985 Nick would be dead because
black people weren't politically correct in 1985" -Mark-
*Technically speaking of course*

"Babies are n00bs" -Henry-
*Henry's thoughts on babies*

"What, what are we looking at?" -Henry-
*When we were looking at his doppleganger*

"So are we putting both our slabs in there at the same time?... oh." -Andy-
*Realising what he was saying too late*

"So I was climbing and I got to the first story and I remembered I'm afraid of heights!" -Louisa-
*After climbing in a frame of a house*

"Libby... What have I told you about the propaganda machine?" -John-
"*sigh* I'm a cog" -Libby-

"I said bolts nor balls" -Libby-
"Bolts, balls, whats the difference?" -Andy-
"Nuts I guess" -Libby-

"Inca doesn't like cars, she's a cat" -Libby-
"She's a boy-racer!" -Henry-
"Girl-racer" -Libby-
"Cat" -John-
"......racer" -Henry-

"Libby, anything of any use ever made was made by a man" -Andy-
"..........................oh, I'm sorry... that was just me not caring." -Libby-

"This pretty much explains my life, it's just water, then every now and again a shark goes past" -Micky-
*watching a little animation on a phone*

"It was a raging failure" -Helen-
*Discussing an ENSOC event*

"We had the meanest circle jerk aye" -Henry-
*winding people up*

"I'd rather be syphilis than vice syphilis" -Andy-
*renaming roles in a card game*

"You're a classy freak Geoffrey, and thats what we love" -Andy-
*Trying to reassure Geoff's new choice in outfit*

"I can beat children with my feet. I think it's called kicking." -Niel-
*A moment of inspiration*

"You remind me of a hot preteen, because you look rapeable" -Andy-
*Commenting on Henry's choice of clothes*

"No.. you can't lecture a drunk child." -Libby-
*Stating the point and agreeing with Kimberley's story*

"Yeeeah, speak the proper english, you like it." -Chloe-
*Laughing at Euan's fixation on a customer*

"Just picture a tooth with muscley arms on its.. tooth hips, cape blowing in the wind, thats my teeth" -Beau-
*Describing the effect of fluoride on teeth*

"I was a consummate good child" -Andrew-
"You just didn't want the shit beaten out of you by your Dad" -Laura-
*Shocked silence.. then laughter*

"Everyone loves them, unless you have big ones!" -Holly-
*In a discussion about breasts*

"It's not smog that covers Christchurch. It's hate." -Chloe-
*venting about the populace of Christchurch*

"Glasmic!" -Laura-
"How would you define glasmic?" -Libby-
*Libby and Laura make faces trying to define 'Glasmic'*
"So basically, a good looking retard." -Josh-
*Josh sums it up*

"We all shnug shnoo in here?" -Josh-
*Commenting on the snugness of the tent*

"You did it again!" -Libby-
"I was demonstrating!" -Jeremy-

"Theres nothing wrong with looking like a twat" -Briar-
*Wearing a pink cowboy hat*

"One thing leads to another and the next thing you
 know there is a dog in the spa" -John-
*Describing a 'good' party*

"I'm eloping with your knee" -Jeremy-
*Breaking the news to Libby*

"You're a hobo Neil" -Henry-
"Hobosexual!" -Neil-
*Correcting Henry*

"Life begins at a yardie" -Josh-
*Describing the coming-of-age tradition*

"Fucking Ninjas, fucking tiny Ninjas!" -Matt-
*Playing Mario Soccer*

"Aww, I can't make my eye poke out and attack yours" -Jeremy-
*Attempting mayhem*

Other quotes