A Hummer came down the street, honked at a few kids in the way who moved quickly, and pulled into the driveway of the massive house. The door of the Hummer opened and there was Crazy J with a paper sack in his hand. He didn’t seem to like the cold that was brought on by the stiff wind and hurried up the front steps to the house, entered without knocking and closed the door behind him. J dropped the sack on the small table by the front door and went to look for Jaymz as his footsteps echoed on the marble floor. He turned to his right and entered the living room where Jaymz was sitting in the oversized chair with a cigar between his fingers. A familiar tone came from the TV, it was that eerie tone from the movie "Halloween." J looked over at the screen and there he was, Michael Myers, chasing down Jamie Lee Curtis who played ...... well, he couldn’t remember who she played - not that it mattered because she would get away; mainly because she wasn’t a blonde. J sat down across the room from Jaymz in a chair that was oversized as well; but compared to the chair Jaymz sat in it was tiny. Jaymz shook his head and rolled his eyes as he pointed at the TV with the cigar in his hands as smoke came from his nostrils. His deep voice filled the huge room, "...Hiding in a closet? Shit, that never happens. They either call the police or try and fight back."
"Well, I guess you would know!" Crazy J didn’t take his eyes from the TV, "Kill the bitch!!! Goddamnit Michael, just fuckin kill her!!!!"
"Naw, he wont bec--"
J had cut him off, "I know it. I just wish that he would, ..that bitch is ugly and that’s what’s wrong with this movie. If she was good lookin then I would be cheering for her."
Jaymz stubbed out the cigar on the arm of the huge chair as pieces of the cherry fell to the marble floor and slowly faded out. He stood up and motioned for J to follow him, they walked out of the living room and down the hallway coming to the kitchen. On the far side of the kitchen there was another door that Jaymz opened. Fluorescent lights lit the way down as Jaymz to J to stay in the kitchen and that he would be right back. J walked over to the fridge, opened it up and looked inside. There was a gallon of milk that expired over a month ago, ..the liquids had separated with top part yellow and the bottom half white sludge. There were several pitchers of red liquid that appeared to be thick; J pulled one of them out, smelt it and pushed it back in.. His eyes watered and he coughed at the smell of the shit... He didn’t know what it was and he didn’t care to know. He saw what he was looking for, a bottle of water, and pulled it out of the fridge closing the door. Footsteps came from the basement and moments later Jaymz came to the top and kicked the door closed behind him as he had something covered in each hand. He set them down on the counter and J asked him what those were...Jaymz didn’t respond for a moment as pulled the rags off the two things he had set down on the counter. Two heads, their mouths open wide with candles setting inside. The eyes were in a look of terror and J looked at them awkwardly as Jaymz it the candles in their mouths.. The glow came from the nose and ears and Crazy J found this amusing, "...Damnit Jaymz, that’s good! Those almost look real!!"
Jaymz lifted his head up without saying a word and a sick grin crossed his face. Crazy J didn’t say anything as Jaymz picked up his jack-o-lanterns and took them to the front door - where he suddenly stopped and smelled the air, "..J what the fuck is that smell?"
J just shrugged his shoulders, "I dunno, I don’t smell anything."
Jaymz looked down at the bag that J had brought, he didn’t know what it was - but the smell was coming from inside that bag. Jaymz opened his front door and set the Jack-o-lanterns on each side of the porch. He looked down the street and saw that the kid were starting to make their way up his side of the street. They were harder to see as the night approached but soon they would be here. J noticed that there was a handful of candy sitting on the small table by the door, "Is that all the candy you got Jaymz?"
"Yeah, what about it?"
"Well what the fuck are you gonna do?? Break one of those pieces of candy into small bits and give them away?"
Again, the smile came across Jaymz' face, .."Who said I had to give them candy? Last time I checked they said, "trick"-or-treat. ..I don’t have to give them shit and this is gonna be fun. " Jaymz cringed and a disturbed look came over his face, “But what the hell is that smell??”
Crazy J looked around with a suspicious look on his face, “I ..uh, ..I don't smell anything. Nothin at all..”
They walked back into the living room as the second Halloween was starting up, Crazy J looked around the room and something caught his eye, it was the Extreme Title placed on his wall on a small stand. “Theres that GWA Gold, I'm glad to see you got that back.”
Jaymz lit up another cigar and walked over next to Crazy J, “What, you really think that she could beat me two weeks in a row?” He pulled the title down from the wall and pointed to something on it. “You see that? ..right there it says ‘Jaymz’ its doesn’t say ‘Bitch Lady’ or ‘Charlottes Web.’ All she did was hold on to it for me and made sure that it was still shining when I got a hold of it, ..Hell, it doesn’t even look like she had time to change the name plate.”
J snatched the Title from his hand, “I think this here would look good on me”
“nope!” Jaymz took the title back, “get your own asshole!”
Crazy J laughed, “You really think I want that Title!? Shit, I'm going for the Global Title and I got my hands full with that. I tag with Sin this week though,”
“Yeah I saw that..and I got Chaplin who thinks that he can take this belt from me.” Jaymz chuckled at the thought “He runs around telling people hes the Extreme Champion, which doesn’t bother me..Hell, hes the one that has to do all the explaining when he comes up short in a few days.”
“Well Jaymz, at least he admitted that he had no direction.. The guys has a loser mentality and he cant win that way, especially not with you in the ring… We've tagged for years, I know what you can do to men like that.” Crazy J turned around as the doorbell rang, walked over to it and opened the door.
“trick or treat!!!” the kids yelled, a Tinkerbelle, a Witch and some sort of monster. Two women stood behind them looked disgusted at the life-like heads Jaymz had put candles in.
Crazy J pulled out his bag from behind the door, “I know what you guys want – here is this good stuff!!” he reached into the bag and pulled out something that was wrapped in wax paper that he had done himself and looked to be some sort of chocolate inside..He dropped on in each of the kids bags, the witch crinkled her face and asked what it was – she didn't like the sight of it. “Hey, its only Detroit’s Finest Chocolate – it takes a couple hours to make.” The kids uttered ‘thank you’ and Crazy J closed the door behind them.
Jaymz got a peak into the bag and caught another whiff of the smell, “dude, ..what in the fuck do you got in that bag!?”
“nothing!!” J set the bag back down and stood in front of it, ..not really wanting Jaymz to see what was in it just yet. ‘’But uh, what were the talking about?....Oh yeah!! Chaplin! I was thinkin that maybe he could come up with something original other than make fun of your name”
Again Jaymz laughed at this, ..He knew it was stupid because he had heard it many times before. “Yeah it was lame, but you know, ..all this coming from a guy who calls himself ‘Chaplin?’ I could play his stupid little games to, like I could just call him Chap-stick or something like that but I don't really see the need. Hes a man who isnt deserving of a Title shot, hes been floating around the GWA accomplishing nothing over the past month or so and all the sudden he thinks that stepping into the ring with me is a good idea!? Hes dumber than I thought he was J, and whats wor—“
The doorbell rang again and this time Jaymz went to get the door, there were two older boys standing there with pillow cases half full of candy, “trick or treat” they said when one of the boys looked up and recognized who Jaymz was
“woah..Dude, you Jaymz!! Devin, look – its Jaymz man!! Haha!! Check it out!!”
Jaymz stood there with an annoyed look on his face as the one kid went on and on before he too noticed the head jack-o-lanterns sitting on either side of the porch, “Dude! Where did you get those? Those are the coolest thing ever – they almost look real.!!
The other kid stood there with his bag held out and finally the kid who wouldn’t shut up clued in that they should prolly leave and held his bag out as well. Jaymz plunged both hands inside of their bags and pulled out huge handfuls of candy
“Heeeyy!!: they both screamed, “Why did you do that!??
“Well, I need something to give to other kids” Jaymz smiled at them and slammed the door. He put the candy on the small table and whipped back around and opened the door, before it was even all the way open he said, “Kick my door and see what happens.”
The kid stood there with his foot reared back and a shocked look on his face that Jaymz knew what he was about to do. They both took off running and Jaymz closed the door again. J had watched the whole thing, “Ha, you scared the fuck out of those kids – look at em out the window, their still runnin!”
Jaymz pulled the blinds to the side and looked out watching the kids run down the street, “That's about what Chaplin is gonna be doin… he’ll realize the mistake that he made within a matter of minutes – but wait, we couldn't expect that of him because hes the ‘Extreme Champion’ and all.”
Jaymz stood there for a moment and looked around the room again wondering what that awful smell was and then decided to finally see what Crazy J has brought with him. He went over to the bag and opened it up..He looked around inside and pulled out a piece of the candy wrapped in the wax paper, twisted at the ends. He saw that J had written on each one of them, ‘Detroit Chocolate with a pen..The candy was thick and almost three inches long, Jaymz brought it up to his nose and pulled back
“Ah! Is this your shit!?” Jaymz tossed the thing back into the bag
Crazy J laughed hysterically for a few moments almost bringing tears to his eyes, “Naw man! Its dog shit!! Fresh from the neighbors yard.. I dunno, I’ve never tried it but I figured the kids would like it.. ya know, candy coated shell on the outside but chewy in the center!
The doorbell rang again and Jaymz opened the door, the kid screamed the magic words and held his bag out with a huge smile on his face, he looked to be about eight years old.. Jaymz looked up to see the kids dads poking at his realistic Jack-o-lanterns, then back down at the kid who’s smile had faded into more of a pissed off look. “Hey..your Jaymz.”
“Really?” It was then that Jaymz noticed what the kid was dressed like..It took him a moment to really notice it but he wasn't thrilled with what he saw… The kid was wearing a Chaplin shirt a replica GWA Global Championship belt on.
“you want some candy or not?”
The kid had terrible lisp and spit all over Jaymz’ shit as he talked, “I don't want anything from you!! I want Chaplin to kick your BUTT!!”
The kids dad looked to see what was going when he head the kids spraying scream, but Jaymz didn't seem to be concerned as he got down on one knee and talked to the kid, “Boy, Do you know whats going to happen to your hero? I'm going to tear his ass from one side of the ring to the other. Now don't cry when you see his ass all bloody—“
The dad stepped in and Jaymz stood up as he spoke, “Hey, don't be over here cussing at my kid, I don't care how big you are you son of—“
Crazy J came out the door with a handful of the dog shit candy and stopped the whole situation before Jaymz slaughtered the man on the front porch, “Hey!!! Here ya go!!” He shoved the dog shit candy in the boys bucket and turned him around, hoping they had enough time to lay one good one on this man before the boy dressed as Chaplin turned back around…But the dad took a step back as he looked over to Jaymz and a growling came from behind.. They were Jaymz’ dogs, massive dogs that had no look of any compassion towards humans..Dogs that didn't really look like dogs. The mans body filled with fear and he backed off the porch and grabbed his sons hand.. He noticed the dogs had no eyes, that they seemed to be stitched up but it was as if they were looking right at them. With every step back he took the huge dogs stepped forward with the leaves crunching under their feet. He picked up his son and ran, the dogs only gave a mocking chase of four steps or so, before stopping and running back behind the house into the massive lot of wooded land they lived in. The man, still running, didn't realize the dogs were no longer behind him as he screamed like a woman running through the neighbors yard.. Jaymz and Crazy J stood there laughing and somewhere off in the distance behind the houses the dogs howled and was carried down Aspen Street on Halloween.