He stepped out of the Tahoe and muttered something to himself before he quickly looked to his right, then to his left. His breathing picked up and he clinched his fists - he dropped to the ground and let his eyes sweep the pavement underneath the Tahoe. He got up, dusted off his jeans and muttered to himself again, "fuckin Doc, ..I know he’s here..." He looked back into the Tahoe, "Aint that right?" There was nobody in the Tahoe except for the egg that was sitting in the passenger seat. There was strands of carpet glued to the top and a face that was drawn on with a huge magic marker. The face was terrible and looked like something that a four year old would draw. But he stuck the egg in the inside pocket of his leather jacket and headed for Denny’s, as he got to the door he looked over the parking lot one more time making sure that Dr. Dugan wasn’t around. Their last visit hadn’t gone so well, Jaymz had left in a pissy mood and decided to keep the pills out of his head, ..well - all except for the pain pills. But the one the Shrink had had given him? Out the door and into the lawn - followed up by a little spray from the garden hose and then they were gone. Alexi walked in the door and looked around, there were several old couples sitting around the place eating their breakfast, ..but no signs of Dr. Dugan. A woman came out of the kitchen and put on her smile on her face, she had grey streaks through her hair and a mustache that would make Al Cohol jealous.
She had hamhocks for arms legs almost as big around as Jaymz' waist. She waddled over to him and said she would seat him, he followed her over and couldn’t get his eyes off her ass that shifted with every step and giggled like a bowl of Jell-O. He slid into the booth and she asked him what he wanted to drink, orange juice he replied. He watched in amazement as she wrote it down, as if she was too fuckin stupid to remember what he wanted. The tip of her pen was chewed to a mangled piece of plastic which brought on a wave of disgust through his body. She walked off and he pulled the egg from his pocket and propped it up between the salt and pepper shakers. He turned to look behind him, again checking to see if Dr. Dugan was around but there wasn’t a soul behind him. He picked up the menu she had laid down and began to look it over - he knew what he wanted because he always got the same thing but checked the menu over anyway. He looked up from the menu and over to the egg where he rolled his eyes and muttered something again. The waitress, Barbara, he read on her nametag set the glass of OJ down and got her mangled pen out of her pocket again with her little pad asking Jaymz if he was ready to order.
"Yeah, uh, ..Give me three eggs, two pieces of saus---" He cut off, looked away from Barbara and back to the egg, "naw.. dont worry, I'm sure they didn’t even come from the same batch as you."
Barbara's mouth hung open reveling her black teeth, ..or what she had left of them and she stood there in shock as he talked to the egg.
"Sorry bout that.. three eggs, runny...two pieces of sausage and three biscuits, ..and uuhhh...gimme a couple waffles as well"
Barbara looked nervous now and felt a little unease of the man who was talking to the egg, "Well...uumm - that isn’t, ..isn’t really on the menu. I can order you a Grand Slam Breakfast and add the extras if you would like. so that wou--"
He cut her off as well, "Yeah, yeah, yeah - just whatever it takes, ok?"
Her pen shook in her hand as she wrote it down and almost screamed as Jaymz spoke back up,
"NO!!!! ..Im not gonna fuckin change it, ya hear me!?? You didn’t even come out of the same fuckin carton!"
The gum fell out of Barbara's mouth as she backed into the table behind her knocking over the salt and pepper shakers, Jaymz looked up as she quickly spun her hefty ass around and set them back up right, "Is..is..is that all, ..sir?"
Jaymz nodded, "yeah - that'll do it. And dont fuckin take too damn long either, there aint hardly anyone here - Im hungry."
Barbara nodded and backed away, going to the kitchen as quickly as she could.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Jaymz looked at the egg with his hands out, palms up. "I dont care if you think its wrong - and if you dont shut up yer gonna be on that plate too"
People were looking now and several of the waitresses were standing out of the kitchen door looking at the man, Barbara was on the phone and one of the waitresses kept relaying messages back to her about what Jaymz was doing. One couple, who had just gotten their food, set their forks down - threw some money on the table and walked out. From then on it was quiet in Denny's all except for the Michael Bolton that was coming from the small speakers in the ceiling. Jaymz sat there for a moment and tapped his fingers on the table, occasionally glaring at the egg and spit at it once - but missed and hit the window.
"Look at you Alexi...your fuckin pathetic, maybe you should get back on the meds"
Jaymz cringed at the voice, it was coming from the table behind him and he didn’t even turn around to look at Vadim
"Do you realize that your talkin to an egg? ..that the fat bitch of a waitress is prolly callin the cops right now?"
This time Jaymz did turn around and began to scream at the empty booth, "Goddamnit!!! Your the one that told me to stop takin 'em! And who gives a fuck if hes an egg - he can talk just like I do!"
The voice came again, "is that so? ..The people around here dont seem to think that"
Jaymz turned back to face his table and stared at the egg, he clinched his fist and slammed the hand down as the egg shattered into a million pieces splattering on him and the table. He looked up and saw all the waitresses watching him and they scattered back into the kitchen like roaches. He sat there for a moment with an almost a sad expression on his face as he spoke in a quiet tone, "...There I killed 'em...are you happy?"
This time there was no response and the voice was gone. Alexi looked around the restaurant and saw he had made a scene. He was ashamed of himself and it was all because he stopped taking his meds. But he tried not to care, life on the meds was boring and he felt unmotivated. Life without the meds was a lot more colorful, he found friends everywhere and didn’t give a shit if he snorted a line of dirt off a bar floor. Sure, maybe his friend had just been an egg - but he had heard him calling from the fridge that morning, screaming at the top of its lungs not to be cooked, ..and so Jaymz had saved its life. But the voice, Vadim, that had to be real, ..not something that he was just imagining.
Jaymz spun around at the sound of the voice and was ready to fight Dr. Dugan.. but it wasn’t Dr. Dugan, it was Crazy J. Jaymz was relived, "what are you doin here man?"
J shrugged as he sat down across from Jaymz, "Not much. I was driving by and thought I saw your Tahoe out there." He pointed to the parking lot, "You left your driver door open -and the keys in the ignition." He tossed the keys to Jaymz who set them on the table. J looked around at the mess, "what happened here?"
Jaymz looked around the restaurant, "I killed 'em" he said quietly
"My Friend" He pointed to the egg mess. "I killed em. He was stuck in the fridge this morning - so I saved his life"
J looked a little confused, "uh-huh. Well he’s fuckin dead, that’s for sure." J took a napkin and began to tear it into strips and started to put them around the table.
"What are you doing?" Alexi asked as he finished off the orange juice
"its a crime scene, ...we gotta mark it off"
Barbara came around the corner with Alexi's breakfast in her hands and set it down on the table. She was still shaking as she asked Crazy J if he would like anything, he told her no - that all he needed was a coroner to pronounce the egg dead. Barbara, who didn’t find this amusing at all put on a fake smile and backed away - almost running into the table for a second time.
J craned over the table and looked at the plate of food, “Hey – can I get some of that?”
“No! You told Mustache Lady you didn’t want a damn thing. …you been drinkin?”
J sat back in the chair and his eyes darted around the room, “um. No. It’s the alcohol in the mouthwash.”
Jaymz mumbled as he crammed his mouth full of eggs, “uh-uh, I bet it is. That happens when you spend all that time up there by yourself.”
J rolled his eyes, “Oh well and now you’re a fuckin shrink too just cause you’ve been going to one!?”
“he aint doin me any good and neither are the pills, they make me lazy”
Crazy J ran his fingers through the egg mess on the table and made a ZT on the window, “Hey – you aint go no room to talk sittin up in that house all day long, ..at least I got Lisa and other projects to keep me busy. You hide from people.”
The frontdoor of Denny’s opened up and two cops walked in. Immediately Jaymz wanted to pop several lortab’s to calm his way through this, ..and plus he hadn’t had one this morning and he wanted (NEEDED) one, wanted it badly and the next thing he thought was, “Here comes Andy and Barney”. One cop was older and you could tell that he was in charge, the other cop was younger and wore a pair of glasses that were as big as stopsigns. A black man who appeared to be the owner walked over to the cops along with Barbara and they had a few words, occasionally looking at the two men from the corners of their eyes. The owner and Barbara stepped away and they two cops walked over to the table
“how you boys doin?” The older cop asked as he hitched his belt, wanting to look tough but knowing that if shit hit the fan, ..they were fucked.
Jaymz lowered his eyes and almost growled at the cop as sausage flew from his mouth, “..fine..”
“..Been better.” J shrugged, “My friend here is a little upset. Im sure you saw the bearded lady up there and I bet she didn’t tell you she was trying to grab my friends sack when he came in here.”
The older cop shook his head in disbelief, “say what!?”
J nodded, “yeah you heard me. She tried to grab his sack – and you see this mess here?” J pointed to the egg mess on the table, “She smashed his friend because he jerked away from her and told her not to do that shit.”
The cop, unsure of what to think looked around at the mess, “That’s not the story she’s tellin. They say he was in here making a scene and being extremely rude to the waitress.”
“well yeah – wouldn’t you!? …Look, my friend here isn’t right.” J leaned to the edge of the booth and closer to the cops and almost whispered, “…hes retarded, he don’t know his ass from a hole in the ground”
Jaymz glared at J and began to yell with food in his mouth, “Mmpphh!! Ivvgoonnannahkiic”
“see what I mean?” J pointed at the big man, “He didn’t do a damn thing and yall are givin him shit. All he wanted was some breakfast here for Easter and this is how he gets treated by the Mustache Lady?”
The cop didn’t like that name, “Don’t call her that, her name is Barbara.”
Jaymz began to find this amusing and played along with it as J retorted, “I don’t care what her name is! This is terrible service in this place and Im gonna give her a Schick Razor as a tip! My retard friend hasn’t done a damn thing wrong, ..so what if he talks to himself and plays with his wang in public –“
Jaymz looked up, “No I don’t!!” He wasn’t playing along with that one
“hes ashamed – don’t listen to him. So, if theres a problem here then lets get to it – otherwise I think yall need to leave us alone.”
J did have a point and the older cop wasn’t convinced that the big man had done anything wrong in the first place. The manager said he was rude but lots of people were. He looked at the two men and nodded, “Yall stay outta trouble – and if I get called back here then both of ya’s are goin downtown.”
J gave him a salute, “aye cap’n.”
The cop turned back around, “don’t get smart with me.”
J smirked, “and what are you gonna do? ..The Chief is a good friend of mine”
The cop smiled back, “oh really? Well then I guess you already know someone who can post your bail.. Jesus, bein a smartass isn’t gonna help you any.”
“Hey!!!” J jumped up, “Don’t talk about Jesus like that! ..Dont you know why so many women love Jesus!?”
J stood up with both hands out stretched over his head, “Cause who wouldn’t love a man who’s hung like this?”
The cop’s eyes got big – he got the joke and wanted to laugh but thought it was wrong on Easter Sunday. He glared at J, and the other man who he believed was retarded and walked out of Denny’s as Jaymz started to crack up and spit eggs and waffles all over J who wore a disgusted look on his face.
One week down and another to go… Ya know, its been kinda odd for me this past week cause Ive never had two weeks to prepare for an opponent and by the time Sunday night rolled around I was a little antsy and ready to kick someones ass.. Now I see that Bill likes to play cards and that he likes to pretend that Im in the room with him… Well, I’ve watched Bill enough to know that he must like playing the Pretend game. All I hear is how great he is and how many times hes held this certain Belt and whatnot – and to Bill that makes him some kind of a freakin God. Not only did his little card game bore me but it kinda got me worried about what this man does when he’s alone… is this the first time that Bill has pretended that I’m with him? When my daughter was alive she pretended tea-party and had all her Pretend friends over, ..but she was five. And Bill is what? Forty? Hell, he looks a little older than that so I figured child games would be outta the picture with this guy, ..but I dunno – I just get a little worried about when he has the “pretend Jaymz” over at his house. I hope its not when shower time comes around or when that nasty slobberin dog goes to lickin his face, and if he comes to the ring with dreamy stars in his eyes then I know we got a serious fuckin problem. No Bill, I don’t play Card Sharks and I never have, and please – please don’t bore me with it any more.
Yeah we got the picture the first ten times you flipped cards and you don’t have to talk to us like kids cause you sound like Mr. Rogers. but tell me this Bill, have you played the fighting game before? Ya know the one that’s called “Kickin Bill’s Ass over and over again.” Well hell yeah you’ve played it and it’s a game that you cant win, but I guess this is the time that yer gonna have to learn the hard way and lose the US Title to someone that’s just a little bit better. I know I have my own mental problems Bill but I think even you have me beat in that department. You keep on rambling about this semi-retirement thing, and is that suppose to make me mad? Am I suppose to find it funny? I just shake my head in wonder going, “what in the fuck are you talking about?” and so is the rest of the world. Your telling me that I didn’t get shipped to Mexico? So, …when Stacy came to Mexico and filmed a promo – we really weren’t there? And when Grinder had us sent there, ..cause we all know he did… It didn’t really happen? Damn, and the Doc was telling me that “I” needed the meds, …maybe I’ll give you his number Bill. Do you not understand that you sound like a complete fuckin retard? Maybe in your own small mind you believe that I was retired, and maybe that’s because you want to believe that Im some washed up old fool who cant take the US Title from you – and that’s fine.
If you wanna believe Im the fuckin Cookie Monster then go right ahead but that isn’t gonna change the fact that you STILL cant beat me and that the US Title isn’t gonna be in your hands any longer when we get to Terminal Meltdown. I talked to Rex last night and he wondered the same thing I did, ..he wasn’t pissed – he was just confused about this whole retirement thing that you speak of. I mean, that holds as much water as if I came out here on TV and talked about how much you reminded me of Pamela Anderson, …just don’t make sense does it? Bill, I am glad that you can count, I figured with your fucked up head that maybe numbers went: One, Seven, Nine, Eleven-Teen and so on.. but tell me this Bill, since you play enough cards, can you count to three? …Can you count to three when your world is spinning and all you see is lights up above? Can you still count to that same three when your unconscious? I’d sure as hell like to see you try and were damn sure gonna get our chance here in a few days… What I did find funny is that you said that you carried the load of ZT? Well that’s great but you never seem to be acknowledged from what I hear. Erik and Tristan never gave you any work, they never put you on the ZT payroll and you weren’t even around that long… It’s a good thing yer gone too cause nobody likes those nasty mongrels runnin around the ZT offices anyway. Tristan told me he wasn’t sure if the dogs were makin you stink or if it was the other way around, ..either way he said you were a nasty muh’fucker and was damn glad that you were gone.
I’m a little confused on one thing Bill, by flipping over cards that’s going to make you a step ahead of me in the ring? That when you flip over a ten you suddenly get this mental image of what move Im gonna use next and you can counter it? Do you not realize that with a whole deck of cards that your just guessing what card is gonna be next? That its all a matter of luck if you win the game. But I guess that you didn’t get that part did ya? Hell no – you think that because you won a card game its gonna translate to a win the ring.. But, if you look closely – as you didn’t, you would have seen it was all a game of luck. And that’s what its gonna take for you to beat me Bill, because you coming to the ring and throwing me best at me that you have isn’t gonna be enough. I’m bigger, I’m stronger and I have more knowledge of where I need to be and what to do when I’m put in a submission or a rough spot I don’t like. There is no luck involved here Bill, it all has to do with the fact that Im a better fighter – that I can take all your halfassed wrestling moves and break out of them like I have with ever other sumbitch in this company. Bring your cards to the ring if you like and tell me how you got me all figured out with your Guessing and Luck – but when I put my fist to yer face and you hear the ref count one, then two – well, the maybe you can use that wise mellon of yer’s and figure out what higher number comes after two…
Not only are you a master at playing with cards, ..and yerself, ...but yer also a master in reading peoples minds and knowing how they feel? Oh, well, I didnt know I had fear in my eyes and I didnt know I feared a person who doesnt stand a chance in hell of beating me... Bill, I dont know where you come up with some of this crap because give me one good reason why I should fear you. Is it because of your amazing wrestling skills? Is it because you hold the US Title belt? Tell me Bill, why would I fear you when I've beaten the best thats been thrown at me? I would fear you when I've destroyed and ended careers of men who possess more talent and skill than you? Bill you amuse and confuse me all at the same time, but not only me - the rest of the world as well. Maybe its the US Title thas gotten to your head and now you suddenly think that your the big man in the GWA? I bet it is ...and thats all good cause Im gonna enjoy bringing you back to reality at Meltdown and showing you, ..and the world why you dont deserve to wear that belt around your waist. Tell me something Bill, since you're so smart and all - and I never have anything intelligent to say as you claim; but when does Kayser get a US Title shot at the next "card"? Uuumm, the last time I checked it was either going to be J or Stacy as the winner of their match - or its going to be the winner of the Kohut - Black Bone match. Dont you pay any attention to the things that are going around the GWA Bill..
I try my best cause I was told it was going to be J or Stacy as it was like on Anarchy last week, but the line up for Meltdown says its gonna be Kohut or Black Bone... so where do you get Kayser in all of that? ..Just because hes the ref for the match? Uh, Bill - hes not even one of the top two contenders for the US Belt, so where are you coming up with this stuff? ...And another thing Bill, Kayser isnt gonna call the match in my favor because he damn sure dont wanna stand across from me in the ring, ..Im sure he would rather face off against someone less skilled, ..like yerself. And spare me of your boring concepts of being up shit creek without a paddle, cause I dont have to paddle Bill - Im a fuckin giant and I'll walk right through the current to get what I want. A shit creek, puke creek - I dont give a damn, but you will because you wanna run and hope that I wouldnt make it back up this creek of yours. Listen to yourself Bill, you do all this talking of cards - which is nothing but luck - and talk of dumping me in a creek which tells me that you dont really wanna stand across from me in the ring; so what your saying is is that your need to be lucky and you wanna run away hoping that something else, ..like the current...will take me down so you dont have to do any of the work. Well Bill, you aint getting that lucky and there aint a sumbitch in the GWA thats lucky when they have to stand across from me in the ring.
You can hide behind Kayser and I'll kick his sorry ass too just to get that gold around my neck - so he just better stand back and mind his own damn business cause he has no place in this match and since he isnt gonna be fighting for this belt next week at Anarchy, like you think, then he has no side to be on.. But its only human nature to pick a side so I wont be surprised if he gives either one of us a quick three count just to end the match. So I aint worried about him Bill, hell - Ive already shown the world that I can beat a Black Circle Member with an Owner as the ref, so why cant I do it agian without the odds stacked against me? Weve all seen that your mind isnt right with all the dumb statements that youve made this week Bill, so when I pin you in the middle of the ring are you gonna change your attitude? naw, prolly not. Hell, Ive done kicked yer ass three times now and you act as if those matches never even happened... Sure, they werent recent but they do hold some weight when it comes to this match but I dont expect a different ending in our fourth go around except this time I get to collect that little piece of Gold that you hold onto tightly. You should cherish that Bill, look at it every chance that you get this week because you wont get many more and they days are runnin short on your US Title reign, and after that you can sit back and watch how a real sum'bitch defends that belt.
You'll get to watch me week after week plant people into the mat and show them why they'll never take the US Title from me. Cause this is a belt that Im gonna hold for a long time Bill, no other Title means a damn thing to be at this time - not even the Global Title cause it aint my time. Right now its all about the US Title and bringing it back to Zero Tolerance... I dont know why they keep on scheduling me against Black Circle Members Bill, cause it seems everytime I stand across from one I continue to show the dominance that ZT displays in the ring over the Circles and you aren't gonna be any different Bill. Im gonna beat your ass from one side of the ring to the other; and don't cry too much - don't beg and plead when I get my left hand around your neck and begin to squeeze. Fear will run through your body and the images of the US Title will flash through your mind as I hoist you off the ground, ..and you'll hear the laughing, you'll see the hate in my eyes that I have for the Black Circles and I will have no mercy on you. I'll slam you down, your body bouncing on the canvas from the impact of the Silence and the ZT dominance will be displayed again for everyone to see; and the Gold will begin to trickle back into the hands of Zero Tolerance, ..exactly where it should be.