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Making Your Ceremony Your Own
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Creating Your Own Vows


The promises the bride and groom share during the ceremony are the most personal moments of the ceremony.  Only the bride and groom can decide what those promises should be.  Many traditional wedding vows have very little present day meaning and date back as far as captured brides.  Today, brides and grooms select each other out of love and caring.  Personal vows that are enhanced with deep feeling, commitment and heartfelt expression allow couples to parallel promises to their individual affection.

Writing your own vows can be a challenge, but the time you spend together working on this will be invaluable.  When you are finished, the promises you have decided to make will have that much more meaning.

Look over the list of words below together, choose three or four (or choose your own) that define the lifelong values that are important to your relationship. For example: You may decide that loyalty, spirituality and friendship are the most important.

Loyalty  -faithful, steadfast, trustworthy, devoted, dependable
Spirituality -belief, faith, worship, obedience to God
Nurture -foster, strengthen, share good & bad, support
Friendship -patience, kindness, companionship, intimacy
Respect -honesty, appreciation, admiration, consideration
Cherish -love, hold dear, treasure, value, honor, adore
Happiness -joy, delight, bliss, gratification, blessing, comfort
Soul mate -one who walks the same path in harmony

Take the first word: Loyalty - what is it that you need and want from each other in regard to loyalty? (To be put above all others.  To keep the secrets of my heart as your own.  To be dependable, trustworthy and faithful.) What ever the answer to this question is, that is the promise.  It might be different for each of you.  

Important:  Vows are not affirmation of your love.  It is fine to say 'I love you', but they are not a love note, they are the promises you are making to each other for a lifetime. You are promising to give your spouse what it is they need, not what you need. Continue with the rest of the words chosen.)  

 Sample Vows:

There are no copy write laws when it comes to your vows.  Poetry, songs, quotations are all fair game.  Pick and choose the lines you like and create your own unique vow that truly represents the depth of your commitment.  

It is more meaningful for the bride and groom to create or choose different vows for each other.  As individuals, we need and want different things from relationships.  These differences should be acknowledged and addressed in your vows.

Vow 1
Because I have never known such a love,
I take you, ________ now and forever
to be my beloved husband/wife.
I promise to honor you, grow with you
 and cherish your uniqueness.
To thank you when you delight me
To forgive you when you upset me,
To be blessed by the gift of your love
And to receive you as the fulfillment of all my hopes.

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Vow 2
Startled awake at this late and unexpected hour,
Long after love, sorrow and hope,
I welcome you into the very depth of my soul.
With my heart I will love you, honor you and adore you,
With my body I will console you,
And with my mind I will embrace the core of your uniqueness.
So will I be soul of your soul from now until forever.

-----
Vow 3
I ________, take you, ________
From this day forward and into the long forever.
To be my beloved, my sweetheart, my wife/husband.
I promise always to love you, honor you and adore you.
You are the one I admire and treasure
And I give thanks for the gift of your presence.
I pledge this and my love to you always.

-----
Vow 4
Before God and these our witnesses,
This is my solemn promise
To love you and hold you always as my husband/wife.
To stand beside you in good times and bad
Because my love is so great
and your presence such a miracle.
To nourish you with my gentleness,
To uphold you with my strength,
To go with you through the changes of age and infirmity
Whatever the blessings and sorrows
From this day forward until the end of time.

------
Vow 5
In the presence of God and these our witnesses,
I take you, _____ to be my beloved husband/wife
To stand with you in the grand love that binds us.
To honor you, respect you, rejoice with you
and suffer with you.
To go with you through the changes of life and age.
I promise this from my heart, now and forever.

-----
Vow 6
I, _____ take you, ______
To be my sole partner in marriage and in life.
I promise to love you, honor you and to give thanks for you.
To stand by you always, to believe in you
And to hold myself beside you until the gates of death.

-----
Vow 7
__________, I joyfully take you as my lifetime partner
To eagerly experience life's richest blessings
and deepest sorrows.
To grow like vines entwined among the trees.
Each of us sustained within our own roots,
Free to grow and climb; yet completely woven.
I promise to nurture you, support you and honor you.
To always give thanks for the gift of your sweet presence.
I choose you today and forever, above all others.

-----
Vow 8
______, You are my sweet love,
You fill my heart with gladness and my soul with song.
I am yours for all eternity and thank God you are mine.
Your dreams are my dreams
and your sorrows are my sorrows.
Together we will find our own way
Embracing our strengths and protecting our weaknesses.
Within your arms I know I am safe.
And you are safe in mine.
I promise this to you today and forever.

-----
Vow 9

__, I take you today with great love and joy.
I promise to love and care for you
 Not out of the height of emotion I feel today, but out of principle.
To be kind and patient, trustworthy and loyal.
To see and treat you always
As my closest and dearest friend.
To put our relationship above all others
And to share life's blessings
and sorrows as one.
I promise this today and forever