"He's really not my brother...it's all a marketing plot."

Whom did mom like best?
Ed: Me, for the first nine years. Then it was evened out.
Dean: My sister.

What television sitcom did your family life most resemble?
Ed: Sanford And Son--the furniture.
Dean: Good Times. Ed always reminded me of JJ.

Who first corrupted whom?
Ed: I'm not corrupted.
Dean: Ed corrupted me. Absolutely!

Who got caught more often?
Ed: I've yet to get caught.
Dean: I did. I had more eyes on me --or maybe Ed was just smoother.

What's a little-known fact about your brother?
Ed: He's really not my brother--it's all a marketing plot.
Dean: Ed has a roaring foot fetish.

Who does the best job keeping in touch?
Ed: I try to touch myself at least twice a day. I can't speak on Dean's behalf.

Is there anything you wouldn't do for your brother?
Ed: Pierce my cock.

Any long-kept secret you'd like to tell your brother to get it off your chest?
Ed: Just get off my chest.
Dean: He's adopted. Whoops!