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 Conker The Star |
When he was young Conker's parents had always said to him: "Look lad, if you want to get anywhere in life, don't touch alcohol, don't be materialistic, never curse or swear, and never, never ever urinate in a public place." "Oh well," he would say to his buddies. "At least I never swear." Conker's parents were, to say the least, a bit disappointed. |
 Berry |
The first time Conker introduced Berri to all his mates at the bar, everyone thought what an unlikely couple they made. Where Conker is short, impatient and cute, Berri is tall, impatient and cute. "It'll end in tears!" they said... |
 Birdy |
Okay, so he's usually drunk, but nevertheless this slightly unsavoury character has a wealth of knowledge to offer when he's feeling co-operative. And he's easy enough to spot - if you see a scarecrow looking unsteady on its post, that's probably Beardy... erm, Birdy! |
 Franky the mad pitchfork |
Pitchforks are not known for their brainpower, and Franky is considered a bit stupid even for a pitchfork. He is, however, blindly loyal to anyone he sees as a friend, which goes a long way towards explaining how Ron and Reg the paintpot and brush get away with so much. |
 Wayne and the Wankas Gang |
These notorious stingers, led by Wayne, are definitely ones to watch out for (there seems to be more and more antisocial gang-related behaviour these days) as they seem intent on bringing misery, pain and destruction to all hive-owning creatures. Citizens of the land: lock up your hives! |
 Mr. King Bee |
Another drunkard but with a big, kind heart. Well, almost. The husband of the over-emotional Mrs Queen Bee has mysteriously disappeared amidst sordid rumours of an affair with another woman, leaving his wife to defend the hive. Time will tell, but his absence has not gone unnoticed by Wayne and his cohorts. |
 Teza, Baza, Noza and Jiza |
An unlikely crew of fast-talking Scouse dung beetles, whose sole purpose is to roll poo around all day. Sometimes they can't help but feel that the whole business just doesn't have the appeal it once did. Still, it beats "goin' down da social every day", as they often comment. |
 Wilma, Doris and the Brute |
Afternoon tea and scones their only aspiration in life, these fine upstanding members of catfish society will stick their noses in anywhere and up everywhere. They also are rumoured to have a large stash of cash in a safe somewhere, but unfortunately it's guarded by their mortal enemy, a dim-witted and spiteful dogfish called Brute. Never mind! |
 Carl/Quentin |
Carl is probably the most obnoxious cog ever to have existed, but to counter this he has a more sympathetic alter ego known as Quentin (split personalities are quite common in cogs). Carl, naturally, is the more dominant of the two and as such he tends to prevail in the ongoing war over who gets to be upright. |
 The Evil Tediz |
The first use of teddy bears as weapons of war during the early years of the Milk Wars proved deeply ineffective, as their stuffing was flammable and their button eyes kept falling out. A few hundred years have passed since then and the Tediz are back, this time much stronger and in greater numbers, and they've already invaded the grey squirrel homeland. It is has been reported that War! is soon to be announced by the Squirrel High Command, and an invasion called 'T-Day' is imminent... |
 Greg the Grim Reaper |
Nobody particularly wants to meet this guy, though you'll probably bump heads with him a few times on your travels anyway. He's been seen around quite a lot recently - everyone thinks this is something to do with the coming war... |
 The Fabled Panther King |
It is said that he came to power over 300 years ago during the final huge battle of the Milk Wars, when he betrayed the oldest known race of squirrels, the Kulas of Conk, against the Weasel King who ruled at the time - sentencing the Kulas squirrels to be sent to The Dark Place. If the Fabled Panther King does indeed exist, then it is suggested that you stay well out of his way. |
