NameMediaReviewed ByReviewed On Official Site
Eight Legged FreaksMovieAngry Johnny07/20/02

This is where I usually do a plot synopsis. Uh... GIANT ****ing SPIDERS. How's that? Like you need to know more. A lot of reviews cite "uncarable characters" and a "weak second half". These people are probably film school graduates. Me, I don't hate BOTH my parents and I shower regularly and wouldn't starve for my dignity so I guess I'm from a different mold. The point is, GIANT ****ing SPIDERS. Does hearing that psyche you out? Then go see this. You will get the following...

The greatest WCW Champion David Arquette (hey, a death threat is feedback so get to your hatemailing smark boy, and btw RVD is OVERATED) doing his THANG which is ALWAYS entertaining to me (except Scream 3 but George C. Scott couldn't have saved that movie)

The second hot chick from Sliders capping an arachnidda every four seconds during 80% of the movie

A few genuine grossouts and scares

Lots of funny little one liners and moments


One MOTHER of a death count.

Look, don't expect Citizen Kane. Don't expect to be emotionally connected with these guys, even though I TOTALLY could relate to David Arquette's character Chris. But do you want to be entertained? This'll do it. Leave your pretensions and expectations at the doorand ponder this:will the cute adorable family pet make it? YOU BET YOUR ASS HE WON'T

7.5 Gratuitous Deaths out of 10

All articles © the Geekdom, 2002. All pics used without credited sources are used without permission, but in a playful type way. I have no money to sue for so there. The opinions expressed here are not necessarily valid but we still think Scott Stapp, Jerry Bruckheimer, and Jay Leno are tools.