Nov 10,1998 How do I begin? I Love you. With everything that I am and will be I love you. I love the one I can not see. You have been in my mind since before my birth. When did I know you where there? The first time I felt you was when I was seven years old. I remmber playing on the play ground, and looking up, as if I was looking for someone, at the time I did not know why I was doing that. I know now. The next time I had an attack was when I was 9 years old. I remmber crying in my bed wondering where my Love was. I know this sounds odd, but it is the truth. I spent most of that year worried about you, thinking about my other half. No one gave me this idea, it was a feeling that just ran threw my body. It is a flame the will not quell. I have known for a long time that you are there. I have have looked for you for so long , and the road has taken its toll on my life. This love has been my sucsess in life and my failure.
I have fallen ....it is hard to look for something that you can not see. Something I can not touch, I yearn. I need . I want. Just one day. Just one kiss, that is all I ask. IF I could find your shadow, I would stand in it, if that is all I had. I do not know if this will reach you. Perhaps by some twist of faith you will see this. I do not know when or how. Perhaps these web pages will be somehow stored in cyber space. Perhaps you will read this years from now perhaps, even centuries from now. If that is the case know that I loved you until the end. If this reaches you during my life time, I have left a set of clues. These clues to who you are have come to me during my life span. If this sound like you , then it is.
During my life time I have had many clues to you. I know what you look like. These clues all came to me at different times. These clues have been a gift from God , and they have also been my demon. Please, I ugrue you to read the following very carefully. These are the clues that will lead you back to me. I know what you are thinking...I am not crazy. It is I that has whispered your name in the wind. It is I that reaches for you at night, it is I.
I have known for sometime that you are not from America. You are from the East. You are from one of the following areas , Middle East, North Africa, India, Packistain, Kasmir or Bagladash. You are not blond. You do not have blue or green eyes. You have dark hair and brown or super dark brown eyes. You are not short. Your height is somewhere between 5'9 and 6'1. You are a serious person. You have a sense of humor, but you are a serious person. You are very cultured. You are strong mentally and emotionally. You can love with all that you have. You like the Arts. When I mean you like that Arts, I mean that you can understand what is before you. You have a deep insight to things like that. I also think you like Soccer or Teo kwon do. You were either born in Egypt, vistied , or have a strong need to go there. You have some tie to that place. I went there looking for you in 1993 to 1994. I thought if I could just place my feet somewhere where yours had landed that would be enough. I used to walk for hours just looking at men's faces. I saw a few that looked like you, but they were not you. I remmber I would run my hand along the sides of the buldings, thinking that perhaps my imprint would touch yours someday. I live all over Cairo. I had a very stronge feeling about Dahab when I went there. Dahad is a city on the red sea. I do not know if that means anything to you. I also believe that you are not ugly. I know that if you read this you will doubt it is I. I know you have loved me too, that is the only reason I look for you. I promised you I would never stop looking. This promise has tied me to you, and has cut deep into my skin. I am bleeding from words that I have given you. I Know...I have heard it many times Love in not absolue. Love is not forever. They are wrong. Love does not end with death or begin with it. It is a part of you. Nothing will keep me from loving you, Nothing will stop me from longing to hold you in my arms...I don't care if people think I am mad...I know you are there. I Would serach for you in the bowles of hell if I knew you where there. I will love you untill I die, and in my grave my bones will search for yours. I have come to believe that I might never find you. As much pain as this causes me to say, I have decided to stop looking for you in six months time. I really can not do it anymore. I have looked for you until I could no longer. In closing you were wrong...you said no one loved you. I have. I heard you cry. My soul has been wonded. Four or five years ago was the last time I felt you. You were sad. I have not felt you since. I will love you forever, but I can not look for you forever. Forgive me if this reaches you late. MEPS If you need some tie to me please lising to the fllowing songs,
Today is June 3, 1999, soon I will end this, I am in New York now. I came here to look for you. I will stop looking for you in 7 days time. Me
Artist:Alanis Morissette
Song: All I really want
Artist: Whitney Houston
Song:Run to you
