Many battles have been fought on the subject of gay bashing and whether or not it should be allowed, or even if there is a limit or a line that should be drawn when it surpasses verbal abuse and treads into more hostile territory. Some reject such ignorance but some would argue that it is a protected free speech, and there, one can express his/her feelings towards the perpetrators. A passage from Bruce Coville’s, “Am I blue” depicts verbal gay bashing at it’s finest in the school system. “It started the day Butch Carrigan decided I was interesting in jumping his bones. ‘You little fruit,’ he snarled. ‘I’ll teach you to look at me!’”(Coville 3). This same attitude is promoted by academics and well-known authors. Canadian William D. Gairdner PhD. believes that verbal gay bashing is a right as it is just freedom of speech. Gairdner exclaims: “We are not afraid of homosexuals… mostly disgusted by homosexual behaviour and the homosexual worldview”(Gairdner 204). What is the homosexual worldview? It is not like gays are attempting to take over the world or change anyone else. They are just trying to achieve equality so they can live their lives out happily. This is clearly indicated in Gairdner’s thoughts, but Mel White would disagree. Mel White states that: These gay people of faith have been condemned so long and so often that they believe God hates them. No wonder they hate themselves. That is my definition of ‘hate speech’ unloving words that lead some to hate "the others" and "the others" to hate themselves. (White) Mental gay bashing can be interpreted in many ways, one such way is through guilt, normally used in an effort to revert the friend or loved one back to the so called real world. The guilt-interpreted version can be clearly pointed out through M. E. Kerr’s “We Might as Well all be Strangers” when Alison’s mother says “Life is family. Or I used to think it was”(Kerr 24). Alison’s mother believes that if two people of the same sex get together then it’s not a family and then they are not living “life” any longer. This can be extremely detrimental on a homosexual’s self-esteem when the one person they need to have complete confidence in them refuses to accept the fact. William D. Gairdner agrees with Alison’s mother and states that the only real family is the “procreational model that specifically favours the married mother and father and their dependent children”(Gairdner 208). This bold statement made by Gairdner emphasizes that a single father or a single mother cannot be defined as a family, regardless of sexual orientation; same-sex families would, by default, be excluded. White, however, believes in equality and also thinks that everyone should have the freedom to choose to be, and that family definitions have a wider scope, Narrow definitions are hurting a large number of people since “[m]ore than 44 percent of homosexuals suffer from feelings of poor self-esteem and extreme loneliness"(White). Even more violent is physical bashing. People are dying due to a few extremely ignorant people who, like William D. Gairdner, are extremely narrow minded and believe that there is only one way: the straight way. Coville makes a good point in his short story “Am I Blue” when the gay ghost of Melvin recalls that the “last thing [he] remember[s] from life on earth was coming face to face with a tire iron”(Coville 7). This is a perfect example of the world we live in today. If there is something we do not like, we get rid of it instead of adapting and accepting. “[S]exual minorities--lesbians, gay males, bisexuals, and transgender people--are among the most despised groups in the United States today,” as described by Gay activist Warren Blumenfeld (Ward and Swarts). Gairdner would not agree with the killing of homosexuals but he would certainly look the other way since he even admits it, “[t]hey are welcome to their vision. But it should not be affirmed, protected, or promoted”(Gairdner 208). Homosexual tendencies should be both accepted and protected, and then they may not be so ostracized.
So many battles have been lost due to sexual confusion; the battle of sexual orientation is no different, and it is a battle fought on three fronts: friends and family, society, and denial. Gregory Maguire’s “The Honorary Shepherds” clearly indicates the typical response from most uneducated parents: “until the day—yet to come—he will learn that his only son, Lee Rosario Kincaid, is gay. Then he might begin to wish he’d used a condom seventeen years ago”(Maguire 68). Gairdner believes that we should “not attempt to promote or normalize [same-sex families]”(Gairdner 208). The assumption is that parents should make every effort possible to change their children. On the other hand Mel White thinks that “[i]t's their confusion about those feelings that flows directly out of anti-homosexual rhetoric” from their parents and friends that are hurting them (White). In order to for homosexual children to be able to grow up and feel accepted, they first require the acceptance of their parents. Secondly and most importantly, society plays a heavy role in the confusion of the homosexuals. This is quite clearly illustrated in James Giblin’s “Three Mondays in July” when David is reminiscing on school and the remarks he had overheard; the warm, fuzzy feeling towards the same sex was shameful -- even evil. William Gairdner believes that having such feelings is a sin and should not be tolerated. Mel white, who is gay himself, has a much better understanding than Gairdner and states historically that “[t]he spirit of homophobia drove us into the shadows and then condemned us when we were found embracing there”(White 68). Furthermore, the denial only further increases the confusion. This is depicted in C. S. Adler’s, “Michael’s Little Sister” when Michael thinks to himself “[i]f [I] fight it, I might make it change. Call up Wendy and apologize and tell her I am crazy about her and maybe she will go out with me again. Yeah … I could make myself be—make myself be what I am not”(Adler 161). A lot of these people have very creative and flourishing minds, and it is all covered up by the need to hide who they really are. However, people like William Gairdner feel that these people should be in “reparative” therapy, which he believes has a success rate of seventy percent (Gairdner 208). The thoughts that ran through Mel White’s head as he came out for the first time ring truer. “Lighting didn’t strike me dead. No voice from the skies spoke out to condemn me”(White 97). When he came out, it lifted the weight of the world off his shoulders. Society plays the most painful cards against the homosexual population in this battle, and it will need to be educated in order for the battle to be won and for may to realize that homosexuality is genetically determined.
The nature/nurture debate still rages on, but it’s not a homosexual’s choice to be discriminated against, to be unable to procreate, and to have a partner of the same sex. Jonathon London’s, “Hands” gives a clear illustration of how homosexuals are pushed aside like leftovers, when Ray reminisces: “he told his parents that I had ‘fondled’ him. His father, a big shot in the community, got the school to look into my private life. They found out I was living with a man, my lover, and they were able to build a case. It was a very conservative corner of the country, you see, and I was fired and sent to prison”(London 219). These myths are also perpetuated by Mr. Gairdner who states: “[H]omosexuals indeed figure disproportionately in the sexual molestation of children”(Gairdner 203). Some homosexuals may be pedophiles, but far more straight men are than gay men. Associating the two is a horrible misrepresentation that is completely out of context. The fact that homosexuals can not actually be procreative generally does not bother them, but if asked, many would agreed that they would prefer it and that inability to be productive was not a choice. This is portrayed by M. E. Kerr’s “We Might As Well All Be Strangers” when Alison’s mother tells her that she does not what a grandchild, “not if it’s one of those test-tube/artificial-insemination children”(Kerr 25). This is due to the fact that it is not a real child, and she is currently in denial about not having any blood related grandchildren. In Contrast, White sees everyone as being related through God. He believes that everyone is one of God’s children. Adopted or blood related, they should be loved equally, and they almost always are by homosexual couples. Moreover, it is no more their choice to want to be with someone of the same gender than a heterosexual’s attraction is for the opposite sex. This is outlined in M. E. Kerr’s “We Might As Well All Be Strangers” when she compares the concentration camps during the Hitler Regime with being a homosexual: “you don’t have to tell me about what it feels like to be an outsider. You don’t have to tell me about prejudice”(Kerr 23). It was not their choice to be in the concentration camps, and it is not Allison’s choice to be gay. William D. Gairdner disagrees. His thoughts on this can be summed up when he stated that “[t]he mere idea of a society that encourages its young men to roam about attempting to convert the male anus into a vagina is plainly insane”(Gairdner 208). This is a total fabrication and is way out of context; there is not a single homosexual on the planet that is attempting that daring feat. Mel White embraces his ability and states that he “had learned to celebrate [his] sexual orientation as another of God’s gracious gifts”(White 267). The battle has not been won nor lost; the first step toward victory is education.
In conclusion, both William D. Gairdner’s and Mel White’s thoughts where applied to the fictional homosexual stories, but only one man can claim victory. On the topic of verbal, gay bashing Gairdner believes it is a right to be able to condemn the so-called sinners; being a homophobe is the main cause for this. On the other hand, Mel White sees verbal gay bashing as a cause for them to hate themselves as well as others. Mr. Gairdner believes that mental gay bashing should be used as a technique to change or conform the homosexuals. However, Mel White believes that everyone should be able to be who they are without anyone attempting to change what they are, and with nearly half of the homosexual population suffering from low self-esteem this is something that needs to be rectified as soon as possible before more of the homosexual community disappears from suicide due to depression. Physical bashing being the worst, William D. Gairdner does not support the killing of homosexuals, but he does not think they should be helped or protected. Friends and family cause quite a bit of confusion, and William D. Gairdner does not believe that the family should accept or normalize with these feelings; they should repent them in order to help the sociological grow of the child. On the other extreme, Mel White believes that it is just that the words used by the friends and family that are hurting and setting back these homosexuals and sending them further into hiding, decreasing their sociological growth. Society is another huge cause for bewilderment, and William Gairdner believes in denigrating the homosexual population. Mel White thinks that society pushed them into a corner, and when they were found embracing in the dark they were condemned. Denial is what keeps so many of the homosexual populous from being able to express themselves, and Mr. Gairdner believes that anyone in denial about their sexual orientation should be in some form of shock treatment for it. Mel White sees denial as just a fancy word for lying, and once you get tangled in the lies, you start to get hurt; furthermore, he believes that it is much easier to just “come out” and then be able to feel good about themselves. The discrimination of homosexuals should be treated the same as the discrimination of ethnicity, but William Gairdner thinks that all homosexual men are pedophiles and should be treated accordingly, which is completely absurd. The fact that homosexuals cannot have blood-connected children is a small issue with Mel White because he believes that since everyone is one of God’s children, then everyone is related and should be loved accordingly. William Gairdner believes that that very idea that two people of the same sex wanted to be sexually active together is just absurd. He somehow believes that gay males are attempting to turn an anus into a vagina. Mel White believes that having the ability to love someone of the same sex in a sexual manner is a gift from God and loves that he is one of the few chosen to behold this gift. Psychologist Richard Isay feels that “opposing discrimination in a prejudice society is good for the psyche. It directs anger away from ourselves to where it rightfully belongs. But it is love that makes us know who we are. And let no individual, no organization, and no institution take that away (Isay 175)!
Adler C. S. Michael’s Little Sister. New York: Harper Collins, 1994.
Coville, Bruce. Am I Blue. New York: Harper Collins, 1994.
Gairdner, William D. On Higher Ground. Toronto: Stoddart Publishing, 1996.
Giblin, James Cross. Three Mondays in July. New York: Harper Collins, 1994.
Isay, Richard A. Becoming Gay. Toronto: Pan-American, 1996.
Kerr, M. E. We Might As Well All Be Strangers. New York: Harper Collins, 1994.
London, Jonathan. Hands. New York: Harper Collins, 1994.
Maguire, Gregory. The Honorary Shepherds. New York: Harper Collins, 1994.
“The Public Forum.” American Psychoanalytic Foundation. < http://cyberpsych.org/homophobia/>.
Ward, Thomas J. and Frederick A. Swarts. “THE MAINSTREAMING OF HOMOSEXUALITY.” HOMOSEXUALITY: NEW VIRTUE OR OLD VICE?. 1993. World and I. 2003
White, Mel. Stranger At The Gate. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1994.
White, Mel. “Whosoever: An Open Letter.” A Fourth Open Letter to Jerry Falwell from
Mel White. 11 Oct. 1998. Whosoever. 9 Oct. 1999
