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CROSSING BORDERS 03-02, 22 MARCH, 2002
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EDITOR'S NOTE
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Hello people and welcome new subscribers! I've been rather busy with work these days and on top of that the stress of the status of our I-751 petition. I promised you all that I will write about it and I will but I was hoping to write about it when it was all over. That way you'll get the full picture but it's taken much longer than expected (what's new). Oh well...... This month's article is something I thought would be good to share with the women out there. While it's not exactly too serious an issue but still can make things a real pain. Hope you find it helpful one way or another.

Meanwhile, question for you. Do you ever feel you don't belong? Maybe it was a 'look' someone gave you, something they said or maybe just the circumstances surrounding you. If you've ever felt out of place, share your experiences with us, how you handled it and what you've learnt from it and we'll make an article out of them that everyone can benefit from. Click here to share http://www.angelfire.com/ok2/kenandlynette/cb/feedback.html 

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THE NAME CHANGE DILEMMA
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It was never a problem until we were buy a house. Then I realized that I should have done it right from the very beginning...... when we applied for the I-130. Anyway, since I couldn't do that I had to request in person / writing to change my name with the major institutions in life (bank, insurance etc). The moment you decide you're getting married, you think about whether you're going to keep your maiden name or use your husband's name. For today's woman that can become a pretty difficult and personal issue.

While I had no qualms using my husband's name, my quandary was over my middle name! Being Asian, we don't have a middle name. Our 'middle names', are not exactly one because it's either our native name or is part of our first name. Being proud of my native name, I chose to use that as my middle name. There were no major hiccups though along the way there would be some confusion filling out forms where one section asks for middle name and another asks for maiden name. There were also occasional identification problems because I had one middle name on the bank card and another on my driver's license so when we run into some overzealous check out clerks, you can imagine the confusion (and suspicion).

Finally, when our realtor asked what my middle name is, I knew I had to do something because with the house comes a lot of legal stuff, insurance and liabilities. I decided once and for all to have my maiden name as the middle name. This way there would be less confusion over who I was before marriage. For me, it was easier to use my maiden name. What you choose for your middle name is entirely up to you but choose wisely and be consistent. Once you chose it, be certain important documents carry your new name correctly, especially your social security and your driver's license (usually the driver's license will use what's on your social security).....(continued below)

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Another thing I get asked a lot is "How do I change my name?". For a foreign born women like we are, a lot of these change your name packages you see being sold are not necessary. Simply because we don't have a history in the U.S. No legal history, financial history, employment history and so on. It's a clean slate, it's like being a baby but you're an adult. Which means you get a second chance if you want to be optimistic but usually, it's more frustrating than favorable.

So? How DO you change your name? Just start using your married name! Yes! It's as simple as that! What? No papers to fill? No court filing? According to Nolo.com, with the exception of a few states, you can change your name without need for court action and it'll be legally valid. Read it in entirety here. If that link above doesn't work for you, try going to www.nolo.com, "Marriage & Living Together" link on the left hand menu. They have a good section about changing your name there.

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Copyright 2001. All rights reserved, Ken & Lynette Chandler.
Website: http://www.kenandlyn.home-page.cc E-mail: mail@kenandlyn.home-page.cc
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