ALL ABOUT THE JUKEBOX

If you can picture me running a gravel operaton, I HAVE..and...I can tell you ANYTHING you would ever want to know about ROCK! Just don't ask me to ROCK YOUR WORLD or anything like that... My PIT was the first one in town to ever have flowers planted to add color!! When I got there, it was nothing but GREY and DULL which is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE for me, so I proceeded to have the guys drag HUGE bulldozer tires over, and scoops of dirt. I then went to the store and bought a TON of color. They were all quite amused, but loving every minute of it. They said ..Okay Deb, we'll go along with your little flower thing, IF you learn how to drive one of these bulldozers...hahaha I say, IF I were to learn how to do that THE FIRST THING I WOULD BULLDOZE WOULD BE YOU GUYS...I don't do bulldozers... Now, go dig something so I can take time to smell my flowers :) Actually, this turned out to be quite cool because people from other Rock Pits brought their office gals to see what we had done,so they could do the same!

I was the first person in Montgomery Ward history here in Portland, to be ROBBED! I was told to get down on the floor, but, I REFUSED because it was dirty...Can you believe it?? He kept grabbing my arm trying to push me to the floor and I kept jerking away. I ended up shutting the till practically on his fingers and he got frustrated and ran off... Stupid, I know, but didn't he hear that you don't mess with a red head?! HA! Also, the card he handed me to buy to get me to open the till said "This is gonna hurt you more than it is me"...

One of my best stress releasers is to buy some GOOD bubble gum, and proceed to chew it all, all at once. I start with one piece, and then keep adding until the WHOLE thing is there! Can't help it, it really DOES release my stress and it makes the most HUMONGUOUS bubbles! The only drawback is that I keep having this same dream, that I am trying to talk to someone and I can't because I have too much gum in my mouth...what a child...

There is nothing that makes me feel more cleansed and at peace, then to sit in my garden in the moonlight, breathing in the overpowering flower fragrances so deep that I get light headed, and watching the golden tassles from my corn rustling in the slight warm summer breeze...

My brother died in my arms on my birthday...Nothing, and I mean nothing, makes you more humble than to experience something like that... ~sigh~

But guys, since then I guess I would have to say that being with my Mom and watching her go from talking to me, to dying in less than 2 hrs... leaves one not only humble, but in major reality check ...

The sooner I realize that I am destined to live the life of JOB...the better off I will be...

It seems like all memorial services these days, have a spot where they encourage anyone to get up and share your special remembrances with everyone. Since I have lost so many loved ones, I have become quite the memorial service spokesperson. Who would have ever thought???... What I have discovered, is that with each personal loss, I have gained a great deal of wisdom on how to deal with loss. So, when it comes time to "share" at a memorial service, I take my heavy heart and do it enthusiastically, so that I may help others gain strength. I've also discovered that everyone seens to appreciate it when you do, because most people really want to, but just can't. I have found that when you share your memories, almost everyone in the room has the SAME memories. As you speak, you see heads nodding yes to everything you are saying... I learned that you start out with tears. As you stand there before everyone, you see a room full of grief stricken gentle people... It is almost overwhelming at first, and when you start to speak, you hear your own voice gently wavering, and you see the tears and the bodies wracked with sobbing of those before you and it is killer intense... but it is necessary in the grief process for release... Then, you switch to your lighthearted remembrances, things that make people laugh... and you leave them laughing through their tears... which is also very important. People need to know it's okay to laugh in grief... To my Dad, my brother Walt, my Mother-in-law Ruth, my dear close friend Mark... The wisdom I learned from losing you, will always be shared...

Well everyone, it's February 2001, and the list just grew... Add my Mom now... I lost her unexpectedly. I was with her and watched it unfold before my very eyes. Within 2 hours my precious "ROCK" was gone... Unbelievable... I am shocked and saddened, and nearly at a loss for words... and those of you who know me, know that I am RARELY wordless...

Jan. 2000...Well, I can't believe it, but I, yes me, Deb, had a Cancer scare this year. Yes, you read THAT right too, Cancer. Can you believe it?. Me.. Pollyana little Me, that has NEVER smoked a single cig in my life. THAT really goes to show you that it can happen no matter what. They took "the mass" out, and it was benign. You know, one of the worst parts of the whole thing was the WAITING... Sheesh, 2 months worth of waiting throughout the whole thing... Well, I guess the biopsies were total crap too. I just try to look at it as an experience that increased my inner strength and endurance, and I COULD and WOULD be ready to fight it again if I had to, and perhaps even be of help to others faced with similar situations. I say this because, I think the thing that helped me the most, was getting moral support and advice from an actual Cancer survivor... When you're scared, and you "just don't know", it really does help... Thanks Dante...

April. 2002...Well folks, looks like I'm in for another ride... Guess I'll be pulling from that inner strength and endurance I gained... good thing I stored it away, huh? But not to worry, I'll have good old Doc take the unwanted beasts (3 of them this time!) the heck out of there and I'm sure all will be just fine... and I promise to gain even more inner strength, endurance and wisdom this time... xoxo Pollyana

P.S. Well, I guess they want to take more than the unwanted beasts this time... but I guess they gotta do what they gotta do, right? "Biology 201" will take place June 11th, 2002... SO, till the jukebox is back, you all take care... I love you all...

I passed "Biology 201", and Oct. 2006, moved on to "Biology 301"... This time, it was a Breast Cancer scare. The "cluster" was detected early, and removed successfully. Yayyyy! Thing is everyone, divine intervention completely ruled this situation. One day, just out of the blue, I called and scheduled a mammogram. I woke up that day and had this incredibly strong urge to pick up the phone and schedule the mammo, prompted by nothing whatsoever, just the inner urge to do so. I never, ever, dreamed that they would find anything, and was shocked when they did. I almost go flush when I think about where I'd be had I not made that appointment that day. I have to go every six months now, forever, and you can bet your life that I am committed to never forget.

Ladies, get your mammo's, no matter what, because it IS, a matter of life or death...

True positive is the energy of my soul...it brings me to life, keeps me alive and drives me with electrifying force... and there can be only one...

DREAMSUCCESS

Thanks for stopping by, I needed the quarter...:) If there's anything you want to know about me, just send me an e-mail and I will feed your curiousity! However, be careful of what you ask, for if you don't already know, I do like to talk...

Dear Lord, thank you for this day. Please make sure that the line you draw for me NOT to cross over, is done in the BRIGHTEST color you can manage...So I will be sure to notice...In your name I pray, Amen...

If you're ready for more, grab some popcorn and I'll meet you on the next page...

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Anything Goes 78 45 33 1/3
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Deb's Insight Page
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Deb VS Dante..Name That Tune
Drama At It's Best
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Email: snafu1953@hotmail.com

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That I Would Be Good

...THAT I WOULD BE GOOD...

That I would be good even if I did nothing

That I would be good even if I got the thumbs down

That I would be good if I got and stayed sick

That I would be good even if I gained ten pounds

That I would be fine even if I went bankrupt

That I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth

That I would be great if I was no longer queen

That I would be grand if I was not all knowing

That I would be loved even when I numb myself

That I would be good even when I am overwhelmed

That I would be loved even when I was fuming

That I would be good even if I was clingy

That I would be good even if I lost sanity

That I would be good

Whether with or without you

...Alanis Morissette...

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