surprise

okay, i have been cringing at the thought of having to go back to class tonight all day long. i dragged myself to stats class and actually stayed awake....for most of it anyway. then, i went to check my email in the computer lab and cursed myself for letting all this time pass before writing a new entry. so much has happened and has been forgotten in the last 11 days. so much that will never be written down, so much that will never be remembered. i hate it when i go a long time without updating. i often wonder if i should tell someone about this journal. or if i should even sign up to be on one of the webjournal webrings. i found this girl's journal that lives in griffin, ga. i think i am going to tell her about mine. i have never spoken with her or even emailed her. i just happened to run across a link to her page from a webjournal that i visit fairly often, and i fell in love. well, not really, but i think this girl just might be my soul mate. if there ever was such a thing, and i dont think that there is. and i dont really think that she is my soul mate anyway, i just think that she is a really awesome person, and i think that i want to get to know her more. anyway, back to my point and the title of this entry. i walk into my ethics class and no one is in there...no one. no note on the board or anything. i check my schedule to see if i forgot about something. i had. we were having a research day for our research papers and speech. what a pleasant surprise. now i have to decide whether to go to the library and actually do some research or just go to the computer lab and finally do a new entry. well, i actually went to the library, where i was actually going to do some research. i was in there all of five minutes and decided that i would do it later. i know, i know, im such a slacker. i cant help it, its my nature.

michele...what to say about michele. pam told me that she heard from a very reliable source that she is in love with kratz, and that a possible move might soon follow. i know that she talks to him on a regular basis, and i know that he calls her at home. i dont know the full extent of the relationship. i am planning on asking her, without asking her tonight. if that makes any sense. i dont know how she really feels about me either. one minute it seems like she is really interested and then the next it doesnt. she has basically stood me up twice now, and yet i keep coming back. i know that she has a child to take care of first and foremost, but it doesnt change the fact that it is still disappointing when you are tremendously looking forward to gettting to see someone and then you dont get to see them. not once, but twice. but then the same night, we have a very intimate and sexual phone conversation, and then i dont talk to her for three days. who knows what is going to happen? i should probably just listen to my sensible side and just let it go completely and go back to being just friends again. i can easily see myself getting hurt again, and that's the last thing that i want to do.

melissa....i still talk to melissa, just not as much. i found a way to keep in touch with her during the day without access to the internet. so that has helped a little, but its still not like it was. i basically stood her up on thanksgiving day as well. i went to pam's house to eat lunch with them at two. she was at her grandmother's house for the holiday in oneonta, where i was going. i told her that i would meet up with her before i went to pam's. i never called her. first off, i slept late, then i basically forgot about it until it was too late. i know, im scum of the earth. i didnt tell her the part about forgetting. i just told her that i slept late, which is true. meaghan...i still talk to meaghan too, but also not as much. she is seeing a couple of different guys right now, so that keeps her pretty busy. plus, she just got a new job. i call her when i can, and she calls me when she can. i have been talking to her sister, dereth some too. actually, dereth is the one that told me about meaghan going out with a few different guys. not that i minded, just that she didnt tell me. dereth also told me that meaghan was tripping the other night, a fact that meaghan has yet to mention to me, and i doubt that she ever will.

i have so much more to talk about, and not enough time to do it in. i think i am just going to add a few highlights from a few of the moments since my last entry.

driving to nashville and getting lost downtown, seeing bonniy and brian again, seeing train again, great show, driving home and staying awake for it, flat tires, four new ones, $300, messy truck, bad son, thanksgiving, dave matthews, i think i have enough gas to make it there and back, hershey, seeing pam, great food, i ate too much, driving back, dave again, i did make it, barely, sleeping on the couch, oh look its ryan, he is alive, playing lots of golf, breaking a metal bat, getting pulled over for going too slow, lots more golf, playing guitar at bible study, church, another thanksgiving dinner, another family fight, X-files rocks, waking up on time, eating breakfast, thats a big thing of soup, ham again for supper, inquisition rocks....

well, thats up to the present. i know i have forgotten a lot of stuff, especially the stuff that happened closer to the last entry. in fact, most of those highlights are from this past weekend. what can i do though? except try to update more often.

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