changes

finally, i sit down to write a journal entry. so much has happened since my last, and much of it has been forgotten. i will do my best to remember it all.

its crazy how a person's life can turn around in just a short period of time. at least one part of my life has been completely turned around since i started keeping this journal. and that's my dating life. when i started keeping this journal, i hadnt had a date in a month. now, im having to turn people down because i already have other plans with another person. im not complaining, its just taking some getting used to.

lets start with rebecca. i didnt have school last thursday due to veteran's day, so i called her up and asked her if i could come by and visit her. she said sure and that heather and heidi were on there way over. i tried to get vance to go with me, but he didnt want to have to miss his workout. plus, i dont think that he really wants to date heather. anyway, so i went. didnt get lost either. go me. she lives in liberty park, and her house is so awesome. i was blown away. her dad must really have some money. let me just say now that this was one of the most disappointing nights of my life. here's why. we were just sitting around being goofy, when heidi's pager goes off. its her boyfriend. he is with his friend down on southside and they want us to come. first off, i wasnt planning on going anywhere. second, i dont have any money. seriously, no cash flow whatsoever. and finally, i have no gas. "oh you dont have to drive, we'll take my car." solves one of the issues, now what about the other two. "i dont have any money either. you dont have to spend any." we decide to go to hooter's. correction, they decide to go to hooter's. i have never been to hooter's, and have no real desire to go there. but, i dont complain, i just go along for the ride. on the way to the car i was asked these two questions:

"you dont mind if we cuss, do you? i know that vance wont let us cuss in front of him.
no, a little cursing doesnt really bother me. but, when its every other word out of your mouth it bothers me. i said that it would be fine

what about drugs? you dont mind us talking about drugs, do you? its just that they are so darn good.
what? drugs. arent these the same girls that go to church? arent these the same girls that vance spent most of the night last saturday talking about God with. isnt this the same girls whose house i just walked into and one of the first things i saw on the couch was a teen study bible? i kinda just didnt answer this question at all.

we all get into the car. by this time, i am praying that God gets me back here in one piece and without being arrested. i just knew that we were going to get pulled over and i was going to be guilty by association. we didnt. i made it back. thank you, Jesus.

not only was every other word a curse word, but they spent the whole night talking about drugs. i just sat quietly in back seat and continued praying.

"you're being awfully quiet back there."

well, no kidding. im sorry, i just dont have anything to say to bunch of druggies. i dont have anything to add to a conversation that centers around "rolling", which is a term that i learned that night. rolling is the term used to describe using exstacy, while out at a club. exstacy, or X, is part heroine, part cocaine, and who knows what else. stupid, stupid stuff.

"oh, we've only done it three times. we arent that bad."

whatever. you're freaking drug addicts is what you are. oh yeah, while at hooter's, guess who just happens to be there. oh look, it's their dealer. great. nice to meet you too. this guy was a total dick too. i hope that he gets busted and spends the rest of his life in jail. one of those guys that thinks he is king of the world and everyone else is under him. not only that, but he flaunts his money around. which is what is going to get him in trouble in the long run. i just hope that i see his sorry butt on the evening news one night. anyway, the really shocking thing about it to me was that these girls come from good homes. they all have money. two of the three are models. and yet, they still find it necessary to turn to drugs to have a good time. im sorry, but if i am doing something and i have to get myself intoxicated in one way or another to have a good time, then i need to find some other form of entertainment. anyway, i made it home okay, and i basically decided that night that i wont be going out with them anymore. that was last thursday and its now tuesday night, and i havent called rebecca since. and i dont really plan on it any time soon.

i am talking to meaghan almost every night. sometimes more than that. i get the feeling that she is really interested, but like i have said before, we lead two totally different lifestyles. i dont think anything will ever come of it, except someone to hang out with every once in a while

i went shopping with mandy at t.j. maxx on our lunch break. she bought all this awesome lingerie. i was looking at it in the car, and of course i got excited. i put her hand on it, and she left it there. we were doing this driving down the highway in the middle of the day. i didnt do anything to her, and i didnt take any clothes off. it only lasted a couple of minutes. i apologized later for it. i shouldnt have done it. i cant help it, im horny.

sometime last week at work, i saw michele coming out of the mail room. i commmented on how cute her hair looked. enter new interest into chad's life. she emailed me a few times that day. that was when she told me about her and her husband getting a divorce. woa, where did that come from? now, i have always thought that michele was fine, but she has always been married. she was being all flirty and it has progressed from there. she asked me out for last friday night, but i already had plans to go see train and she was busy on saturday. we will probably go out this weekend. i have been calling her every night as well. we went to lunch together today. she keeps getting more and more flirty and i love it. only problem with chad and michele getting together: michele has a 13-month old son. dont know what im going to do about that one. she's so fine though. i dont know, we'll see.

then there's melissa. i dont get to talk to her nearly as much as i used, and i miss her. i know she misses me too because she tells me that every time that i do get to talk to her. i did get to see her friday night. which brings me to my weekend road trip adventure. yeah. finally. except that i am so tired from writing all of the other stuff, that i dont feel like typing it all out right now. i dont think i will. i think i am going to go home and make a barage of phone calls. i will finish this tomorrow.

okay, its two days later and i dont feel like adding anymore to this. click here to see my review of the show. sorry.

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