i went to see guster/jump, little children/the push stars last night at the music hall. actually, i skipped philosophy to go to this show. i had to frantically finish my midterm in statistics class to do this, but i made it. anyway, here are some highlights from the show:
not getting lost, not being supremely late, finding melissa immediately, harrassed by shannon, meeting mere and sabrina, and im sure there was another, 'oh my gosh, there's psycho girl', seeing
jamie and not speaking, the pushstars rock, im convinced, rock star necklaces, trusty cups, j,lc awesome as always, watching shannon and co. bust a move, rude chick, fewer people, remembering that
guster is one of my fave bands and why, billy joel covers, pictures with dee snider, twisted sister covers, preverbial encore that wasnt really an encore, freezing outside, sitting on the ground,
more freezing, full moon blanket sucks, so do rude chicks, preverbial hugs, and just one kiss, krystals at 1:30, home by 1:45, and of course oversleeping
um, i guess that about covers it. i am sure that i am leaving some stuff out, but anyway...oh yeah, i almost forgot rockstars that look like celebrities.
it was very odd seeing jamie again. i know that she had to have seen me. she walked right in front of me once and its not like i am that unnoticeable. i was glad that she didnt try to talk to me though. not because i was afraid or anything like that, i just didnt want to deal with her then. i just wasnt ready for that. i mean what was i going to say, 'hi jamie how are you?' no. or maybe i could have introduced her to melissa. yeah, there's an idea. except what would i introduce her as. 'melissa, this is jamie, my psycho ex-girlfriend that i told you about. jamie, this is melissa, this incredible smart and witty girl that i virtually met over the internet whom i have seen only a handful of times in my life. oh yeah, and i kissed her once too.' no. you know, that kind of put a downer on my night. i could sense on my way to the show that something was going to happen, and as i was walking in i was thinking to myself what it might be like if she were there. melissa thought the whole thing was really pretty funny. she is one of those people who doesnt mind you talking about your ex's, so it was cool...
after the show, we were outside sitting in the parking lot by her car talking. i kissed her. it was awesome. better than last weekend. but i tried to kiss her again later and she wouldnt let me. actually i tried twice more and she still wouldnt kiss me. finally i asked her what was up and she said that she just didnt feel like it because she had a headache. i tried to act like it was okay, and today when we talked about it, i told her not to worry about it, but i was a little bit hurt. i mean, its not like i get to see her all that often. i didnt even try to give her a kiss goodnight because i didnt know how she would have felt about it, and today she told me that it would have been okay. see, even the people close to you can hurt you sometimes. actually, its usually those that hurt you the most. that sucked. i will never let her know that, but it sucked. today she apologized and said she didnt know why she did that, but its a little late when she is back in albertville and i am in birmingham. im over it now, so its okay. and still on top of that, and on top of the fact that jamie was there, i still had a great time. guster rocks.
i hardly ever see my dad anymore. i know a large part of it is my fault though. i go to the computer labs after school and play around on the computers instead of going home. usually when i get there, he is either not there or asleep. i know that he is going through a lot right now too. i miss the days when we would have those talks every morning at 7:00. i think him and kathy are having problems. i overheard a conversation that they had on the phone at 4:00 a.m. one morning this week and it wasnt a happy one. i dont think i have seen her in a week. i hope everything works out alright.
i have been in a weird mood all day long. i dont know what it is. apathy. im feeling very apathetic about everything right now. im just tired of everything again. i need another vacation. will i take one? no, i'll just continue to struggle through, one day at a time with the hope that some day, some day things will get better.
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yesterday i was assured that i was finally going to get my new computer at work. did i get it? no, of course not.
footnote: