depression

i am going to post a message about my weekend of music later. i have something more important to talk about now.

i had a very odd conversation with val tonight. things have been weird with her lately anyway. i knew that something was up, i just didnt know what. it seems as though she is getting depressed. she says that she has been there before and this is what it felt like. she said that she might ask me to take over the list responsibilites before long because she might go offline, completely. that means that she is even going to take down Homesick. now, if this happens, she will be tremendously missed, by me most of all. i hope it doesnt come to that, but i want her to be happy. she deserves to be happy. the bad part is that i dont know what to do. i mean, of course i can help her with the list, big deal. i am talking about helping her personally. i told her that i would do whatever she wanted me to, no matter what. this is what she said to that:

thanks, chad.. you're a good friend. goodnight. =)

that made me feel good to know she thought of me as a good friend, especially since i have only met her in person once. val is one of those few people that make everyone they know a better person because of them. that didnt make a lot of sense, but my point was that she is an awesome person. and i can almost say that i love her. i know that i care a lot about her, and it hurts me to know she is going through this kind of thing. i just hope that i can continue to be there for her with support and a good ear. i really hate to hear that about her. i know that she has gone through a lot in her life and that has probably affected her, as it would anyone else. but, she has always been so strong around me, except that one time on her husbands birthday. i just want the best for her.

i am very tired. got very little sleep this weekend due to my weekend excursions. like i said, i will post about that, maybe tomorrow. my head is getting very close to hitting the keyboard. its funny because i will fall asleep for about 2 minutes and i will wake and i see what i typed ni my sleep.

*******

[ < previous | next > ]