no lame excuses or reasons for why i havent written in a while, im just lazy.
so, i think i shall bring all of my dear readers up to date on what is going on in the ever entertaining world of chad.
i think the last time i wrote i hadnt made up my mind whether to take that youth director position or not. well, believe it or not, i made a decision. i decided to take the job on a three month trial basis to see if i will be able to do it permanently or not.
tonight i went and visited the church. i sat in with the youth group...all three of them. and well, the service was boring. the man that taught is a man that helped out with the youth when i was there and he is still there. God bless him, he's about 85 and still telling the same stories as when i was there. they said that when their old youth director was there, they would have about 10 or so on wednesday nights, but most of them dont come anymore. well, to be honest with you, i wouldnt come to hear him teach every week either. of course, i would never let him know that.
anyway, im going back on sunday. he asked me to teach sunday school. which is kind of funny, because i taught sunday school at my church for the last two sundays and they asked me to teach for the next three weeks as well.
its going to be a lot different too. i dont expect anymore than five kids to be there. im used to teaching about 20 7th and 8th graders alone.
i must say that i was extremely nervous when i pulled up to the church tonight. i saw all these people that i hadnt seen since the last time i was at that church. and then, i saw lauri, the lady that almost made me not take the job in the first place. the lady whos daughter i had dated. the lady whos daughter i had made out with and fooled around with in the back of the church van on the way back from a youth retreat. all these memories just came flooding back and it was a bit odd for a few moments. then, i prayed for God to take away the nervousness and he did.
we both said hello and engaged in the unavoidable small talk and then we went our separate ways. i didnt see her after that. i didnt get a chance to see the preacher either. their service starts at 7:00 and i have a class that starts at 8:00. so i had to fly right after church was over and i was still fifteen minutes late.
i was thinking of calling him when i got home, but he's kind of old too and he may be in bed. eh, i'll call him tomorrow.
what else? ah yes, im sure that you all are curious to know the latest on the chad and jamie saga. well, im going to tell you anyway.
its like a roller coaster ride with her. things will be going good for a while and then, right when you arent expecting it, she throws you into a triple corkscrew at 75 mph.
things have been going good for about three weeks, and then today, she starts saying that i dont have the same feelings for her that she does for me. see, we havent actually said that we are in a relationship. its known that we are just dating, and she doesnt like that. so, i asked what would be different if we put that label on it (i hate labels. if you dont believe me, then just call me a baptist one day and see what happens). she said nothing, and so i asked what was the point in putting a label on it. she had no logical point so we went around and around about it. she says that she doesnt feel right kissing me since we arent in a relationship. and i can understand that, so i told her that we just wouldnt kiss anymore. well, she wasnt going for that either.
as of this point, we have come to no resolution. jamie has a tendency that when you come upon a problem, you just "forget" about it. when "forgetting" about it actually means harboring those feelings in a bottle and allowing them to build up until one day they explode. which is exactly what happened to us the first time around.
and shes having a hard time submitting too. she knows that thats what the bible says, but she doesnt want to do it. well, i dont want that responsibility, but according to God i have it.
eh, who needs women anyway? jimi hendrix once said 'that's okay, i still got my guitar'. well, i'd like to add a little to that. thats okay, i still got my Bible and my guitar.
i got my grades back from last quarter. i got three B's. hooray for mediocraty.
im seriously considering moving out after the summer.
and im really upset with someone in my life right now. they had the greatest person ever come into their life and they just let them go because they have feelings for someone else who is already involved.
that probably only made sense to one person, and you know who you are.
im done.