sick of it

love, i love you more than i can ever express.

and i know that you love me in the same way that i love you.

and i love your mother. i love her for what she has done for me in the past. i love her for the way that she raised you to be so pure.

however, she has chosen not to love me in return. in her words, she hates me and never wants anything to do with me.

those are hard words to accept. i dont know of anyone who has ever hated me before. maybe my mother, but i dont think that she hated me. she just didnt want to have anything to do with me anymore.

the actions behind those words are difficult as well. you're not allowed to talk on the phone at night, especially to me. you've had your cell phone taken away. and as of last wednesday, you arent allowed to go to lunch with me and you werent allowed to see me this past weekend.

i've had no contact with you whatsoever since last friday afternoon at work. you were not at work today, and i dont know if its because you took the day off or because something happened. you mentioned on friday that you guys may just go to the beach for the weekend. i hope thats where you were and nothing happened.

however, class started tonight, and i dont think that you would miss the first day of class.

what's even worse than not getting to see, or talk, to you is the effect that its having on you. you are torn between the great love and desire to spend time with me and the love and respect of your mothers desires. this is causing you not only emotional, but physical harm.

i hate that this is happening. i hate that we are having to go through this. i hate not knowing the answer.

i've prayed and prayed and prayed. i still dont know what to do.

breaking up is not an option. not for you or for me. its not even something that i think of. even though i know that if we did break up, things would go back to normal between the two of you. its still not going to happen. it cant happen.

this is God's will. its so plain to us. why cant she see it?

i think she does, and thats what scares her. she's afraid of losing you.

the question that constantly comes up in my mind is: why? why does she hate me? thats what i will never understand.

im what is right for you. i am what makes you happy. i am the one that will make you happy for the rest of your life.

it pains me so much to think that she hates me. man...thats rough.

it hurts my heart and brings tears to my eyes just to type those words.

how long o' God must we suffer through this? how long before you deliver us. how long?

[ < previous | next > ]