painful memories

love, i do and say some really dumb things sometimes.

i skipped class tonight, mainly because i forgot my book. i have spent a large part of the night reading through a lot of the old journal entries from way back in 1999.

i said and did a lot of really hurtful things to you.

and after your reaction to this weekend, im contemplating not letting you read this journal. or at least going back and doing some editing first.

this weekend at pams wedding, i confessed the fact that i had messed around with mandy to you.

extremely hurt does not adequately express the way that you felt. the pain on your face and the tears in your eyes nearly broke my heart.

its now tuesday, and its still bothering you.

i just dont know if i want to have you go through the pain of reading the things that i said and did in the past.

we're reading the five love languages by gary chapman right now. so far its a great book.

one of the main points in the communication chapter, that i just read today, was to let your history be history. these are all things of the past. things that i did when my life wasnt right with God. things that i did when i was mad at you.

why do i want to hurt you with those things now?

i dont think i do.

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