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love, it has been forever since i wrote you again. i really need to start writing more often. i dont think that you will really understand my life as well when i leave these huge holes in between the times that i write you. i also imagine that you will probably be slightly upset at me for taking this much time to write again when you finally get to read this. there is an interesting thought. when will you be reading this? how long will it be from now? i was talking to a couple of friends of mine the other day and i was saying how i could possibly be married in 2-3 years and it wouldnt be that strange at all. today is vance's birthday, and that means that mine is in 28 days. i will be 22. in three years, i will be 25, and that is not too young at all to get married. at the same time though, i must realize that i dont even know who you are yet. or if i have even met you. one of jamie's new years resolutions this year is to find her soul mate. while, aside from that being perhaps one of the strangest resolutions i have ever heard of, it's really kind of cool. she says that she feels that God will allow her to find him this year and so she went ahead and made it a resolution. i have no idea if i will find you this year or not, but i definitely wouldnt complain if i did. its really not my decision anyway. its all up to God. i just have to be willing to go along with it. speaking of resolutions, its a new year, a new decade, a new century, a new millenium, and a new whatever else you can think of. i just ended that sentence in a preposition. my english 102 teacher would have circled that with that nasty red marker of his. anyway, yeah, where was i? oh yeah, all things new. school just started back, so i will probably be writing you more often now. especially since they have this super-fast, super-cool new computers. this thing has a built in dvd drive and a zip drive. its probably five times as fast as my old 56K modem at home. let's see, i cant really think of anything else of importance to tell you right now. oh wait, i got glasses. yeah, can you believe that? well, yeah i guess you can because i will still have the glasses by the time you read this. its a very light prescription, but it helps a lot. i can see far away now, especially when i am driving. and you know, that can be kind of important. i think i look like a nerd, but everyone else says that i look distinguished or something. yeah, im 6'5, 250lbs with long hair and i look distinguished. whatever. that reminds me. i got my hair cut today. yup, got 5 inches cut off. there was like a big pile of hair in the floor. im not sure if i like it or not. i may end up going shorter still or letting it grow back out. who knows? just a couple of physical changes, that's all. elsewhere in the world of chad. work had become quite stressful for me for a while, but things are slowly changing. let me rephrase that, i am slowly changing. at least my attitude is anyway. this week, i have been doing some heavy praying before leaving to go to work, and it really does help. the power of prayer truly is amazing to me. sometimes, i also get frustrated with myself spiritually. this happened last sunday. i want to be perfect. i want to remove all sin from my life. i realize that this can never happen, and that is what upsets me. the closer you get to God, the more you realize that you need to remove from your life. the more sin you remove, the more you see. its a constant battle, and to me, its frustrating. however, its that drive to attain perfection that keeps me going. even though i know that i will never get there, i will always keep trying. |
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