a great day at church

i've been depressed lately. thats pretty obvious. its due to a lot of things, but the fact that i am loosing my job is the biggest reason.

today, at church we had an awesome sermon. I Thes. 5:16-24. dr. fischer preached on making mistakes. we, as humans, are going to make mistakes. and we, as humans, are going to fail. we have no choice, its our nature. God, however, will not make any mistakes. not only that, but he also can help you to overcome your mistakes, if you choose to let him. you have to do your part by admitting to God that you have made a mistake or failed and then allow him to do his part in fixing it. well, that is exactly what i needed to hear. its funny how sometimes i go to church or watch a sermon on t.v. or listen to a song on the radio and it seems like God is using them to talk directly to me. i just sit there and say, "okay, God, im listening." this morning, God was talking directly to me.

during the invitation, i went down to the front and prayed at the altar. there is something very humbling about walking down in front of the whole church and kneeling down and praying to God. in that prayer, i confessed to God that i had failed him at my job. i apologized to him for that, and i asked him to do his part and to help me to get through it.

when i stood up to go back to my seat, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. i felt so....contempt. and peaceful. i have always known that God was going to take care of me through all of this, but this just reassured the fact and took away all the doubt that i might have had. it was incredible. the words do not exist to describe the feeling i get when i am filled with the Holy Spirit. i wish there were some way that i could describe it, but i cant.

thats not even the best part.

as i was leaving, candice diffey, a woman that is a couple of years older than me and that i went to high school with touched my arm. she is a woman that i have great respect for due to her ability to share God with others. and yet a woman that i have hardly ever spoken to in my life. i turned around to face her and she gave me the greatest compliment that i have ever received in my life.

"i just want to tell you what an inspiration that you are to me."
"me? okay, why?"
"because you love the Lord so much, and its obvious that you want to learn more about him."
"well....thanks."

take those words that i didnt have to describe how i was feeling and multiply them by about one thousand. that was just incredible. i felt so awesome after that. and i thanked Jesus on the way to the car for giving me exactly what i needed.

one thing that dr. fischer said during the sermon really stuck in my mind. he said, that maybe you had failed at work and upset your boss. but you have to understand that your purpose in life was *not* to please your boss, but to please God. that really touched me. again, it felt like God was talking directly to me.

im not even the least bit worried about work now. i wasnt really before, but im not at all now. i truly know that God is going to take care of me, and worrying about it is not going to do me any good.

*******

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footnote:

be joyous always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. I Thes. 5:16-18