Please note that if any of these seem pathetically unfunny to you, it's probably because it was just one of those times when you had to be there. Or else I need to stop drinking in the morning.
"Red means ground, right?"
"Well I'll be damned."
"Over my dead body!"
"Either that wallpaper goes, or I do."
"I wonder what this button does..."
"Oh yeah? You and what army?"
"Cool!"
"This is boneless, right?"
"Sign, schmign."
"Don't they follow right-hand traffic in this country?"
"Don't touch anything."
"No, he's definitely dead. I shot him twice."
"It'll hold."
"Something smells funny."
"What do you think your last words will be?"
"You know, the chances of that happening are extremely slim."
"I thought you said it was dormant!"
"Here, kitty kitty kitty..."
"Draw!"
"So what if it's after midnight? He was hungry!"
"Folger's crystals, Crystal Meth, what's the difference?"
"Oh, don't worry. She's very tame."
"Truce?"
"Margins are for losers."
