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The Break Up List


Wondering if it is over and you can't afford to buy the latest teen magazine to figure out if it is? Well, look no further. If your man has any of the qualities listed below, it is time to say good bye. You'll thank us later, really. (This page is also known as the top reasons we are bitter, but we thought that the current title was better).

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  1. passivitity
  2. big nose
  3. they say WASSUP too much
  4. they only like you when they are drinking
  5. big butt/thick ankles
  6. hairy butt/back
  7. bad breath
  8. limp parts of the anatomy
  9. fear of commitment to only you
  10. sleeps around
  11. doesn't like puppies
  12. wants to come in the back door
  13. pussy whipped
  14. smells funny (stinky)
  15. too damn smart
  16. doesn't talk - EVER
  17. anal retentive
  18. cries a lot
  19. can't spell your last name after a year of knowing you
  20. laughs funny
  21. introduces you as "This my bitch"
  22. is in love with someone else
  23. is in love with him/herself more than he/she could be in love with you
  24. eats fish too much
  25. doesn't like their mom, unless of course their mom doesn't like you
  26. doesn't like your mom
  27. always "forgets" the wallet
  28. gay
  29. enjoys anne murray music (refer to previous point)
  30. is mean to "build your character"
  31. buys you a pan at Canadian Tire for your birthday
  32. ugly hair/balding
  33. hangs out in the cs club room listening to really really GREAT music
  34. the pets don't like him
  35. says I love you too soon or too often
  36. stinks up your washroom on the first date
  37. doesn't like your friends
  38. hates pineapple on pizza
  39. talks way too much about the ex that got away
  40. says they are done with you
  41. has previously broken your heart
  42. has dated any other member of your family
  43. sleeps with your slutbag roommate
  44. leaves toilet seat up
  45. sucks in bed
  46. really zitty back
  47. drinks ales more than lagers (Tanya is an expert when it comes to beer)
  48. calls you late at night to tell you they are sorry they led you on
  49. they spaz when you hit them gently (wuss)
  50. they send you flowers but send them to the wrong house
  51. they think your dog is ugly
  52. they think that sex with you is highly overrated
  53. they themselves are uglier than your dog
  54. you would have really ugly children if you procreated
  55. they believe their friends before they believe you
  56. they won't go south, but they expect you to
  57. likes anchoves on pizza
  58. weird and moronic
  59. wears nail polish and/or make-up
  60. likes to wear your underwear
  61. loves zz top
  62. big space between their two front teeth
  63. tall and lanky
  64. short and stout
  65. claims you are a superficial bitch
  66. after 6 months they have not paid for a damn thing (then commits previous point)
  67. calls YOUR friends to complain about you
  68. tells you your friends are HOT
  69. you get along better with the friends then you do with him/her
  70. won't take you out in public
  71. is still seeing someone else
  72. has started seeing someone else
  73. you begin to prefer your sex life when he/she is not around
  74. sex is a chore
  75. can't use a door
  76. gives you food poisoning
  77. too old to kiss
  78. wants space when you're long distance already!

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Last updated on September 14th, 2000