jen's new poetry page

What Do You Do..

What do you do when the face you see

Isn't who it's supposed to be

When your world suddenly isn't anymore

And you don't know what you're feeling this for

Is it wrong to dream of a different face

To be in someone else's arms in a different place

What happens when what you want to do

Might not be the best choice for you

What do you do when what you feel

Might not even be for real

When you feel so guilty that the one you're with

Isn't the one you want to kiss

What happens when all you want to do

Is feel exactly how you used to

You know that it's tearing you apart

But you need to do what's in your heart

What am I going to do when I lose

When it won't be a matter of having to choose

Why should I have to decide between old and new

What do you do when your heart loves two?

Echoes
I'm not who you think I am
I am perfectly normal
All that you see is an act
Never really breaking my shell
All the smiles that have beamed
Are just a pearly white mask
You see yourself in my eyes
Because you're the only one I've let in
I've always been outside looking in
I want to be inside with you
It's not fair to either of us
The guilt consumes my mind
I'm so disturbed that I can't
Pinpoint this rage and these tears
I look in the mirror and all I see
Is a host for a hungry soul
The mirror tells no lies
Unlike my eyes and smile
All these tears are echoes
Echoes of my soul.

No Matter What I Do
I'm not crying for good or bad times
I'm crying for the jaded
No matter what I do
Those memories are forever faded
I feel completely unsupported
From everyone around me
No matter what I do
Empty and lonley I'll forever be
Desire flows through me
But I must keep it inside
No matter what I do
They would never see my side
Chased by lies from the past
Things I could never mend
No matter what I do
Those lies will bury me in the end
Confusion is my new best friend
I can't escape hurt and pain
Yet no matter what I do
All my efforts are in vain
Wishing I could change everything
That my heart would be happy and tame
But no matter what I do
I'll never be the same.

Sin
Who knew sin could feel this good
I often dreamed but never thought I would
So unexpected, never did I plan
They see you as a boy, I see you as a man
How could I do something I'd hate another for
Instead of guilt, I still crave more
It's so unlike me to do something like this
But you changed my mind with your gentle kiss
We grow intense, no fear lies within
I never knew you'd be such a wonderful sin

Devestation
He left me alone
In a cold empty room
Leaving only sorrow in his place.
He set off
To fulfill a dream
Leaving me in a nightmare.

He consoles me
Saying he'll be home soon
My sorrow and I still wait.

Him
He's got a million dollar smile
How I wish I could talk to him for awhile
His eyes melt me with a glance
What would I give for just one chance
This feeling I get when he looks my way
So many things I have no courage to say
This is wrong, I know that it is
Why did that smile have to be his?

Solitude
A soul alone
A world divided
Cold as she cries again
Screaming so loud
Yet nothing is heard
Sad lonely eyes beg to them
The pain of emptiness
The emptiness of solitude
On the outside looking in
A tinted view
Of a jaded memory
Cry and be happy again

Belonging
Trapped in a fever dream
Yet disturbingly awake
The company of lonliness
The misery of being happy
What used to be my nightmare
Is now every moment my daydream
I didn't realize what I wanted
Was what I had all along
All the bad things so much better
All the flaws-perfection
How could I long for something
I never appreciated before
Searching for a way out
Yearning for acceptance
Will I be doomed to stay here
Or destined to return to where I belong

My Prince
It astounds me
To think that the very person
Who brought love into my life
Can make me so miserable
I'm amazed at the fact
That you could leave me like this
Without feeling an ounce of guilt
But instead wanting me to be proud
How can I be proud of my hurt
Of these lonely nights ahead of me
How could you do this to me
I feel so betrayed, so angry
I never knew you to be selfish
How can I be with you
If the very thought of you
Sends tears down my face
My heart sinks every time
A thought of you crosses my mind
You're not the one I thought I loved
You're not the prince you said you'd be
My prince wouldn't leave me behind
Crying in a dark empty room
The mere mention of you
Angers me to the core
The words explode inside
And it all comes out the same
Love is just a lie
Because love shouldn't kill my spirit
Who was I to ever believe
You loved me like you said you did.

Sixteen
She walks in silence
Keeps all that hurts inside
She knows good things never last
And she's given up on hope
She's getting closer to jumping off life's cliff
In her mind, she's already falling
She used to sparkle and always smile
Never a tear would fall
But now happiness is a stranger
You never know what she's thinking
Her moods shift like the wind
Drowning in a sadness
That has no root or cause
Suffocating lonliness surrounds her
Friends never seem to really be
And trust always fooled her
She wonders if she'd be missed
If life became too much
She used to have ambition
Such a love for life
It all seems so different now
She falls apart when she's alone
But dries her eyes to face the world
She's had her heart broken in so many ways
Nobody could begin to fix it
She feels worthless night and day
And the world ensures this feeling
Everything changes around her
She's lost, nowhere to turn
Everything she thought she knew
Turned on her,leaving only hurt and betrayal
In the place of the happiness
Of being sixteen.

*jen's new poetry page*

jen's new poetry page