Jazzy who is a carrien terrier, Beef (german Shepherd with a little of collie mixed in) and Duke who is half keeshound and half chow. Great combination. He is without a doubt a dog from hell, but we love him. They have all been with us since pups.
Beef was born here at our home, a pup from our Sheba who was pure German Shepherd, who had to be put to sleep from glucoma. We miss her very much. Beef is going on 10 years old and just a big baby at heart. The only thing he thinks about is his ball. If you throw a ball to him you have made a buddy for life.
BEEF'S MOTHER
I wanted to say a little about Beef's Mama. My brother and his wife came to us one day and told us about her. The owners moved away...and left her there! She slept and stayed there at home, waiting for them to return! She was seen in the fields hunting mice or anything she could find to keep herself alive...she always returned to the house and kept a vigil on the front porch! What kind of monsters would do that? Not only did they abandon her but when my brother and sister-in-law brought her to us and we took her to the vet, he said she had been abused! But yet...still loyal...still waiting for them...to come get her...
Sheba adjusted quite well with us and her remaining life was spent with people who she knew cared and loved her very much.
Update: October 30, 1998 Sadly my Beef has been diagnosed with a deadly disease that kills the nerves to the spine. He will lose all use of his legs and it will slowly crawl up his spine. Right now it is in the early stage so I have a little time with him. If I am lucky the vet said maybe a year. It is not curable so there is nothing I can do. I have given his ball back to him. He is not in pain and is very unhappy when he can't play ball. He falls sometimes but is doing well right now and is very happy. The day he can no longer walk or comes close to that I know he will be ready to go. Beef will never be happy once he can't play ball. It saddens me to see the light in his eyes right now and know in a few months that light will fade when he can no longer play ball. I am not ready for this and never will be. He is my baby, born here and will die here, I'm not ready and I know he is not. So full of life, such a baby at heart. This is going to be so hard.
Update: December 14, 1998. The disease is progressing faster then expected and crawling up his spine much faster then anticipated. I really wanted to see him get through next summer. That may not happen. He is still playing ball and is still quite content but, he has slowed down some and now must usually be helped up the steps. The need to come to terms with this is slowing sinking in.
I assure anyone reading this I will not allow my beloved beef to suffer in anyway, but you must understand that I will not cut his life short until the day he tells me to. All I will have to do is look in his eyes, he will let me know.
Update: Jan 5, 1999. Beef is doing rather well right now. He get's a little stiff from the cold but he is hanging in there. He's quite happy and content, and yes still playing ball. He must always be helped up the steps now but he can still walk and run. For everyone praying for Beef out there I thank you. He just might be able to make it through to the summer. He enjoys the summer so much, I just want him to have one more summer to play ball to his heart's content. That is what I pray for. A little miracle would help too.
Update: Jan 8, 1999. I have gotten so much e-mail from so many loving and caring people that I just had to add a special thank-you to all of you. Also I would like all of you to pass this page on, maybe by the grace of the good lord himself Beef will have his chance to run and play one more summer. Some may say "Is this for you or for him" I say it's for both of us. Beef knows his time is running short, and so do I. It's understood. But faith does so many, many things and I say he will make it. Help me do that... please?
Update: Jan 20, 1999. Beef is not doing all that well right now. He is starting to drag his one leg. He still can walk and run and play ball but...he is starting to lose some of that energy he had so very much of. He follows me more and stays by my side alot more now. The light in his eyes is not as bright as it used to be and he has become even more loving towards me then ever before. To pet him sometimes was a feat in itself, he has always been so hyper all he ever wanted to do was play ball. For the first time that I can remember he will sit and allow you to pet him and even will ask you to by laying his head on your lap. Usually the only real chance you have of petting and holding him still to love him was when he is resting or sleeping. That has changed and though I like being able to hug and love him with out getting whacked in the face with his face or tail because he can't sit still, I sure miss that old Beef who never has nothing on his mind but his ball.
Update: Feb 7, 1999. After much consideration and the fact that Beef's hind leg's are going to go way before the light in his eyes does, we have decided to purchase Beef his very own K-9 cart. Although this is not a cure it will definitely extend Beef's life. I know Beef and once he realizes that he can move and get going in this thing he will be very happy about it. Anyone that thinks I am being cruel to him consider this. Just because a dog can not walk is that reason enough to take his life away. I think not! If Beef was ready to go that would be one thing, but he is not. When that time comes we will both know and have to accept it, but for now he won't leave me just because he can no longer walk.
Update: March 15, 1999. Beef is hanging in there pretty well! He is losing the feeling in his one back leg, but still is able to walk and run, more like a hopping than running. But he stills moves pretty good considering. I will not be putting him in the K-9 cart until he can no longer get around. Most dogs will not be likely to want to use it if they are still able to move around. And he still is playing ball...that goes without saying I guess :-)
Update: April 27, 1999. Beef's K-9 cart has arrived and since he has been having a very hard time getting around, we have started using it now! He knew what it was for and has adapted to it almost overnite! He is happy and when in the cart is free...He knows when he is in the cart it is PLAY BALL time! Thank you all for your prayers and e-mail regarding Beef. He is happy and so are we. I realize this is not a cure but the vet said I could be extending his life for a couple years or more if I am lucky! And please remember there is no pain with this disease, I would never do anything to hurt Beef or make him suffer in anyway!
Update: August 3, 1999. Beef is doing very well right now, although he has lost all fuctions of his back legs. He loves his cart and is in it quite alot :-). He will be going for x-rays soon to see have far the disease has progressed if any. Hopefully it has not! I do not regret getting him the cart he is happy beyond believe with it!
Update: September 9, 1999. I have waited to make this entry because putting it here makes it final! Beef is still happy and playing in his cart but he can not live in his cart 24 hours a day. He no longer is able to get around with out it, and also without going into details it is time. His eyes tell me and my heart tells me. My heart is sad because at the same time my Duke who has never been sick a day in his life has to be put to sleep also. I did not update anything about Duke because my heart was not in to it. His back legs are bad and I took him in to the vet and had x-rays done and bloodwork done. The vet says he is just old and there is nothing I can do about it! He falls up the steps and down them. It's almost like there is a connection between him and Beef. They grew up together. Beef was born here, and Duke was brought home when he was 8 weeks old! Duke loved Beef when he was born and just a pup but than a love hate relationship developed between them. They always fought with each other but something tells me there is more going on here! Beef is not in pain, but Duke is. So...my heart is hurting right now because they will both be put to rest together at the same time. They will not go to a vet, the vet will come to our home. They lived here, they will die here. My heart is heavy and the feelings I feel I can't express. They are not just animals...they are my friends! Maybe that is what hurts so very much! Knowing they love me so much, and so unconditionally, the fear of losing that...
Beef has made it through the summer...
Thank you...your prayers and god made that happen!
UPDATE: September 20, 1999: My beloved Beef and Duke will be laid to rest September 24. I have nothing to write at this time as my heart is having a hard time coping with this right now. I just wanted to let you know because of your support and prayers and felt the need to at least tell you this.
UPDATE: September 26, 1999: My big baby Beef has been laid to rest September 24, 1999 alongside of his pal and fighting buddy Duke. My heart is broken over losing you. A big horse with a babies heart! You won't need that cart anymore buddy, your free. You got your ball and you got 4 healthy legs. May your heart be filled with happiness and contentment Beef...I love you.
MY BOY'S
No goodbyes, no fare wells,
we will see each other again...
my heart tells me so.
I never realized just how much
time was spent with you guys...
how much a part of you, was so much
a part of me!
I wake up in the middle of the night
to step over my sleeping friends...
no one is there.
I don't feel as safe anymore,
because you are not there to warn me
with your endless bark, telling me I
need to see who is there...
I need not get up in the morning and
put my beloved lame friend in a cart,
just so he can feel freedom, and play
ball, and run like the rest of them...
No need to fix holes dug,
or fences chewed, or doors broke...
My floors are cleaner now,
and my bed does not get hair on it...
I only have one bowl to fix in the morning,
and evening...
When I walk outside...
no one is bugging me to play ball,
or throw a bone, or hey I want some
lovin's right now...
No one fighting because one may be
getting more attention than the other...
No more soft words of "I love you...
you are my boy" spoken in the ears of a
must have attention 4 legged friend.
No more endless days of throwing balls,
and muddy paws...
No more noise...
No more face rubs against my bed,
or my sofa...
Only silence...
only a heart crying aloud...
You were more than just animals...
you were a part of me...
You have taught me how love should be...
I miss that...that love...that endless
love that you gave all to me!
I love you, and miss you,
and you took a piece of me with you
when you left.
I'm hoping to get that piece back someday
from you...
Until than, run free, play, and be content...
I love you both and always will.
Your mistress and friend forever,
Cindy
My tough guy...Duke 4/29/88 - 9/24/99.
Duke, oh yes what can I say about Duke, the dog from hell. I know that sounds harsh, but it is true. Duke is 12 years old. We have had Duke since he was 8 weeks old, rescued from the pound who was going to put him down because he was blind in one eye. Little did we know! He is afraid of everything, sounds, people, other animals. He is afraid of his own shadow. Terrified of thunderstorms, he will crawl on you for you to save him when a storm comes. He has demolished my home, ripped it apart. Has gotten out of the fenced yard at least 100 times through the years. Each time we fix it so he can't, but he is very intelligent, and finds ways out that we could not think he was possible of thinking of.
He chews through wood, chews through metal fencing and digs holes that only a rabbit could get through. He get's through, I don't know how but he does. He does not let you see him do these things. You must hide and watch him do it. It is truly amazing.
I can't get rid of him, he is part of the family and we all love him very much. Besides no one else would have him haha. By the way Duke has never been sick a day in his whole 12 years of life. He will probably live to be 100! (People years I mean).
UPDATE: September 26, 1999: My beloved Duke was laid to rest alongside of his companion Beef September 24, 1999. I love you tough guy, you sure gave us a lot of adventures through your life with us. My heart is with you always, I love you my friend. No goodbyes only until we meet again!
I know what you're thinking. You think I'm dead. Because you cannot see me with your human eyes, cannot feel me with your hands or hold me in your arms, you think I am gone forever. You recall how I looked when I left this earth and you cannot remotely imagine that I am alive in another place. You are racked and torn by the pain of our separation and it blinds you to that which is right in front of you...me.
How many times since I left your immediate sight have you been told that I'm dead and you should "get over it"? How many times have you cried yourself to sleep because you feel like an outcast, believing you're supposed to get over me because that's what people say is normal but somehow you can't and no one seems to understand? How many times have you put yourself through such excruciating pain because you aren't willing to consider that I am not, by any means, dead?
I want you to do me a favor and go back in time with me. Remember the glorious day you brought me home - was I not the most intriguing creature you'd ever met? Did I not make you laugh and giggle? Did I not look at you with such adoration that you wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of your life with me? I wanted this too.
Remember the days when I was in my prime and we did many things together. You were so proud of me! I was a good friend and I took care of you when you cried, were angry or felt down and unhappy. When you didn't have a lot of time for me because of your obligations, I waited patiently for you. I was always there when you needed me. Did I not look at you with such acceptance and patience that perhaps at times you felt a bit unworthy? You were never unworthy in my eyes.
Remember when age crept up on me, my bones became stiff and my movements slower. Still I met you when you came home and followed you around. We'd been together for so long, I was your very best friend regardless of what you were doing, saying and thinking. Did I not look at you with such kindness and understanding that you felt overwhelmed? I couldn't get enough of you.
Remember the last time we saw each other with earthly eyes. You tried to be brave but I knew you were crying...I know you so well, better than anyone else in the world. Did I not look at you with such pure trust and love that you yearned only to hold me close and keep me with you always? Did you not promise that you would love me forever? I believed you.
If this is so then why have you let me go by thinking I no longer exist?
Remember the depth of love in my eyes when I looked at you. Who created this love? Would the Creator diminish the song of our laughter that grew and flourished in this love? I am no longer an earthly figure, this is true. My body was only part of who I really am and it would have been but a mere shell on earth if it were not filled to overflowing with my soul, my spirit and my loving light. When we met you thought I was cute, pretty and adorable. What kind of relationship would we have had if this were all that I'd been? How could you have loved me if I'd had no spiritual substance?
We are all made up of energy that resides far deep down inside of us, it is our core and our soul, spirit and loving light. It is the energy that is all of life...it has no beginning, it has no end. It simply is and always will be and without it there is no life. You can't see it with the naked eye nor can you hold it in your hand, it is simply a certain knowing that this energy does exist. It's a knowing just as you know that our love existed on earth - you couldn't see our love in a solid sense, you couldn't gather it all up and confine it to one place. But you *knew* it existed. There was no doubt in your mind.
There are those who demand you get over me, insisting that I'm dead and you'll never see me again because animals don't go to Heaven. Oh really? I'm here to tell you different. You were as worthy of my love and undying devotion on earth as I was of yours. Do you really believe this love would be snatched from us *forever* by a loving Creator simply because I wasn't human? Was I not a living, breathing creation with personality? How could I have been so if I didn't possess the energy of soul, spirit and loving light? And if this energy is and always will be, then how can it be that I am dead? If my core is not the energy that is all of life then I was never alive to begin with. But you know better.
You cry because you miss me, this I understand. I miss you too - I miss the belly rubs, hugs and kisses that we shared. But life does go on beyond these wonderful, fulfilling physical connections. I came to this place to continue on in a new life, not because I didn't love you anymore or because I wanted something better. I came here because it was time for me to go to the next phase of my existence, something all living creatures must do eventually. It is the normal progression of life. I was not taken away from you because you cannot take away that which was never owned. My presence in your life was and is a gift to be cherished and honored just as I cherish and honor you.
Life is not simply about being born into a body, living a certain number of years and then dying. Energy cannot die. We are blessed with time in a body so that we can learn, share and grow. It prepares us for the next phase of our eternal life. The body holds within it the true life force of our existence...our soul, spirit and loving light. Without these our bodies would be empty, blank, void of feeling and expression. Without our energy we would indeed be dead and could never have experienced our love for each other.
You say that all you have left are memories but this is not so. You see, when I took leave of my earthly body I left a little something behind for you. You can't touch it, hold it or examine it, for what I left behind is far too uninhibited for confinement. I left in your tender care a piece of my soul. I placed it right next to your own which is quite fitting as we were always side by side in our earthly life together. I love you too much to have left you with nothing but memories that tend to fade and grow cloudy as the years go by. I love you too much to have vanished without a trace. How selfish it would be of me to remove love and light from your life.
I understand your tears, each one you shed is testament to your love for me and I am honored and humbled. But don't forget the good things we shared - remember and smile. This is an honor for me as well. When you need me I will be here. Close your eyes, relax, take slow, deep breaths and picture me in your mind. Shut off the world and your notions of what you think death is and give me a chance. Look for the subtle signs I send you. Don't stop being proud of me, I am a friend to be proud of, I am still your friend and soul mate. Don't memorialize the death of my body but instead honor and celebrate my never-ending life for it is eternal and forever as is my love for you.
Until we meet again...
Terri gave me permission to use this on my site. Please do not take it from here. If you would like to ask persmission to use it please go to Terri's site and email her about it. If you have it already on your site without permission please ask Terri! Don't assume you can have it on, take the minute to talk with Terri. Give her the respect and appreciation she deserves for such a beautiful piece of writing!
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water, and sunshine and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who have been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; his eager body begins to quiver. Suddenly, he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together...
This poem has always been a comfort to me. All of my friends are such a big part of me, and have been with me through most of the difficult times in my life. To be without them is like losing one of my children, an unbearable thought.
My friends who have crossed over and waiting patiently for me.
Sarah (Sissy) 9/15/89 - 9/15/95
Slugger 1983-91
Slugger was rescued from
the pound. He was a little
over 2 years old. Battered
and beaten emotionally and
physically he turned out to
be one of the bestfriends I
have ever had! He is still
dearly missed! He never did
recover from the physical
abuse, and seizures the rest
of his life but we were able
to control it so he could live
comfortably.
Taffy 6/3/95 - 9/11/99
Taffy was rescued by a family
who neglected him and was very
sick and also blind from their
abuse. Surprisingly he made it,
but because of the physical abuse
he was always sickly. By the way
The kids named him Taffy and then
we found out she was a he...
We kept the name Taffy anyway!
Casey 1987 -9/18/91
Another rescue and he sure was
the sweetest cat you could ever
want. After all he had been
through he was just as lovable
as could be!
Teddie
Teddie developed cancer and there
was nothing we could do but put him
out of his pain. He was a great
little guy, slept at the bottom of
bed and used the kitty litter.
He is missed very much.
