Invented by Marconi, developed by the British, shrunk by the Japanese (See THE ONLY GOOD JOKE IN STEVEN SPIELBERG'S 1941) and knocked in to the bath by me.

Everyone's always on about how crap British railways are and how French and German railways are much better than ours, but these people have obviously never travelled on French and German railways, because if they had, they'd know it was rubbish. The fact is that despite greater public subsidy and higher investment, French and German railways have a major problem - no matter how far in advance you reserve your seat you will always find it occupied by a fat Belgian who speaks no English. This means having to stand from Boulogne-Maritime to Milan, with only the 589 other British Inter-railing cheapskates to talk to.

Remington Fuzz-Away and Nose Hair Clipper
Perhaps the most useful thing invented in the twentieth century.

Email: marywhitehouse@hotmail.com