Olympics, The
The Greeks invented sport, and with the Olympic Games, named of course after the
Greek national airline: proof that their inflight service was legendary even then.
The first Olympics was staged at Olympia, a large exhibition centre in Athens
which also staged the Greek Ideal Home Exhibition, until Plato proved that there
was no such thing as an Ideal Home.
Ostrich
Large flightless bird. Not only can the ostrich not fly, which really makes you
wonder why it bothers to be a bird at all, but also when it's frightened, it
buries its head in sand. What a crap animal. I mean, what could possibly
be more frightening than having your head buried in sand? You wouldn't be able to
breathe, or see. And suppose the surface on which the ostrich was standing
wasn't sand. It'd have to go away, hire a pneumatic drill, and dig down until
it found something soft enough to bury its head in. Ostriches in zoos, of course,
don't have any sand to bury their heads in, so if you want to annoy the zoo-keeper,
go up to the ostrich cage and shout loudly at the birds. This really frightens
them, and they try to bury their heads in the sand. But the floor of the cage is
made of concrete, so they usually end up concussed.
