D

Dentists' Waiting Rooms
Notable for their massive selection of out of date magazines. This of course raises many questions.

1. Where do they all come from ?
2. Why are none of then ever less than a year old ?
3. Has the dentist read then all ?
4. Why are some of the colour pictures always cut out ?
5. Why is there always a copy of The Hare and Hounds ?

The other thing you immediately notice about the magazines in dentists' waiting rooms is that they are all totally irrelevant to the circumstances under which they are read. Shrewd publishers should notice the gap in the market and bring out magazines specifically aimed at the waiting room market, such as Which Drill?, Amateur Anaesthetist, Classic Root Canal and Pain Quarterly

Doo, Scooby
Large Great Dane belonging to a group of amateur ghosthunters - Fred, Daphne, Thelma and the humorously-named 'Shaggy' (on account of his long hair, not as some authorities claim, on account of his sexual prowess with Dapne). This quartet investigated hauntings in a garishly-decorated van know as the Mystery Machine, which looked like the sort of badly-painted Ford Transit that heavy metal bands buy to drive to gigs in. Scooby Doo was rather cowardly and frequently trembled or ran away - his catchphases included 'Yikes', 'Raggy!' and 'Oh-Oh - it's a Ghost!' delivered in his inimitable humorous semi-bark. Actually nowdays Fred and Thelma seem to have disappeared to be replaced by the usual Hanna-Barbera girl-with-long-hair-and-large-bust, and Scooby's nephew, Scrappy Doo. Scrappy Doo is the really irritating one who keeps shouting 'Puppy Power!'. It's interesting, however, that they chose to make him Scooby's nephew and not his son, because that would have meant the thought of Scooby Doo on heat humping away at some female dog, while Shaggy got a Scooby Snack ready for afterwards.
The existance of Scrappy Doo does mean that Scooby must have a brother or sister, and one wonders what their name is.

Duran Duran
Their principle problem was wanting to be a sophisticated adult rock band when all their fans were thirteen. Now that they are a sophisticated adult rock band, they have thirteen fans.

Email: marywhitehouse@hotmail.com