I think I might be gay.

am I the only one?

is it normal to be gay?

I don't fit a stereotype

HIV and AIDS

will I be accepted?

I feel so alone

should I "come out"?

who should I tell?

how should I tell my parents?

will I loose my straight friends?

can I have a family of my own?

Be Yourself

Questions and Answers for Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Youth

The world can be a tough place for a teenager. You're in one of the most confusing times of your life.

For one thing, your body is changing more than it will at any other time. And your hormones, hard at work changing your body, can be playing around with your moods. You may feel great one day and miserable the next, for no clear reason.

The rules are changing. You're expected to act more and more like an adult. You may have new adult responsibilities like volunteer work or a part-time job, but you might not be given adult rights, like coming home at whatever time you want.

Your relationship with your parents is changing. You're becoming more independent, and they're having to accept that you're not their little girl or boy any more. That's not easy for either of you.

And all of a sudden, something you didn't think about a few years ago - sex - might feel like the most important thing in the world.

If you're a gay, lesbian, or bisexual teenager - or if you think you might be gay or wonder if you are - it's even more confusing, because probably no one ever prepared you for that.

When you were younger, your parents and relatives may have teased you about liking girls if you're a guy, or guys if you're a girl. Maybe they talked about "when you grow up and start dating" or "when you fall in love and get married." But they probably never talked about when you grow up and fall in love with another guy, or about marrying a woman just like you.

TV, movies, and magazines all mostly show men with women. The music you hear is about falling in love with the opposite sex. If you're a guy, your friends are probably talking about girls, and if you're a girl, they're talking about guys.

All of that makes things hard if you're gay, because you don't have much that relates to you.

This information was written to answer some of your questions and help you understand three things:

• One: Being gay, lesbian, or bisexual is a normal and healthy way to be. It's one more part of who you are - like being tall or short, or black or white or Asian or Latino.
  
• Two: It takes time to know who you are. It's okay to be confused, it's okay to be unsure whether you're gay or straight, and it's okay to take your time finding out. There's no need to rush.
  
• Three: You're not alone. Right now, there are tens of thousands of other teenagers, all thinking they're gay or wondering if they're gay, all wondering if they're the only one, all trying to find someone to talk to about it. Hundreds of thousands more, however, have already traveled that road.

some definitions

Heterosexual, or straight, refers to people whose sexual and romantic feelings are mostly for the opposite gender: Men who are attracted to women, and women who are attracted to men.

Homosexual, or gay, refers to people whose sexual and romantic feelings are mostly for the same gender: Men who are attracted to men, and women who are attracted to women.

Lesbian refers to women who are homosexual.

Bisexual or bi refers to people whose sexual and romantic feelings are for both genders.

I THINK I MIGHT BE GAY. BUT WHAT IF I DON'T KNOW FOR SURE?

THE SHORT ANSWER: You'll know when you know. It could take a while, and there's no need to rush.

I DON'T SEE ANYTHING THAT SAYS OTHER PEOPLE ARE GAY. AM I THE ONLY ONE?

THE SHORT ANSWER: No.

IS IT NORMAL TO BE GAY?

THE SHORT ANSWER: Yes. Being gay is as natural, normal, and healthy as being straight.

I THOUGHT GAY PEOPLE ACT CERTAIN WAYS.
IF I DON'T FIT A STEREOTYPE, AM I STILL GAY?

THE SHORT ANSWER: Ignore the stereotypes. Some people fit them, some don't. Be yourself.

DO I NEED TO WORRY ABOUT HIV and AIDS?

THE SHORT ANSWER: Everybody has to be informed about HIV and AIDS.

WILL I BE ACCEPTED?

THE SHORT ANSWER: Some people will accept you and some won't.

I FEEL SO ALONE. WHO CAN I TALK TO?

THE SHORT ANSWER: If you feel alone, you are alone - and you don't need to be. There are people out there who can help. Unless their parents have been very open with them about sex, most teenagers can feel guilty and ashamed of any sexual feelings and experiences, straight or gay. Some adults have a hard time with their sexual thoughts, so it's not surprising that teenagers do, too.

SHOULD I "COME OUT?"

THE SHORT ANSWER: Only if you want to, and only when you're ready. Don't come out just because someone else thinks you should.

WHO SHOULD I TELL?

THE SHORT ANSWER: To start, only those people who you want to know.

HOW DO I TELL MY PARENTS?

THE SHORT ANSWER: When you're ready, and with care.

WILL I LOSE MY STRAIGHT FRIENDS?
AND WHERE DO I FIND GAY FRIENDS?

THE SHORT ANSWER: To the first question - probably not. And to the second - everywhere.

CAN I HAVE A FAMILY OF MY OWN?

THE SHORT ANSWER: Yes.

Be Yourself

You will have many other questions. You don't have to be alone when exploring your sexual identity. There are many resources available for you to find information, to find answers, and to find friends.

You'll learn that the best advice is to be yourself. If you are gay, lesbian, or bisexual, you'll soon find that you have the power to shape and define your coming out, to make it unique for yourself. While coming out will present you with questions and situations you never faced before, you'll also find great joy in this journey of discovery.

Email: longship@mailexcite.com