Okay, I'm back. Will someone please explain to me the lure of personal pages? I mean, yeah, it's nice to have a place to rant. It really is. But who else wants to see it? Half the time I bury my rants, create them and leave no links to them. Or I delete them after a day or two, unless they're anime-related. If my friends want to hear me rant about life, they can listen to it in person, read my e-mail I send, whatever. There's no need to put it on a page for them. Strangers are even less likely to want to read it; they don't even have the incentive of knowing me. Supposedly you can use it to share information about yourself, but again, why bother? What my friends know about me is more than enough. Strangers shouldn't know anything. A few nights ago, I had to keep myself from throttling a waiter who asked my name, and after finding it out, insisted on shortening it to "Jess" (which is a nickname I value and don't offer to just anyone) and making perpetual eye contact. I HATED it, jumped every time he spoke my name, stared at my plate and grunted replies to make him leave me alone. I would like for people (some people, not all) to know me. But I want them to learn about me the way I choose, through my writing, though looking at the things that interest me, not through some listing of my hobbies. If you can't be bothered to pay attention to who I am and not what I say I am, you don't deserve to know me. There's more of myself in the romance page, in the months of work I've devoted to it, than in most personal pages.
No one ever really knows you anyway. Why pretend it's any different? Why keep flinging your words into the darkness in the hope someone will get it? All I want... a decent number of hits, a couple of guestbook signings to boost my ego, and the ability to read Japanese. I give up on the rest. Most of what I want that I don't already have, I'll never get.
Funny how depression just comes and goes. It's difficult for me to remember to keep up a non-anime ranting page. I'm still in the process of moving in to my apartment, trying to remember to do things like eat... Keeping up this page is the least of my worries. I did download the demo version of Paint Shop Pro today, so this page might go through all kinds of renovations now.
Well, not technically THIS page, but the anime page. I've already learned to do transparent gifs! Heh heh.... Oh, yes, and I realized what I'd previously forgotten. This mentions nothing about what I like. Well, too bad. You don't need to know what I like. You have some idea anyway... anime, manga, older two-dimensional men with scars and tragic pasts... I read comic books, but I'm not telling you which ones. I do stuff.
However, if you read JTHM, SIP, Poison Elves, or Gold Digger, you might, potentially, have something in common with me. One little thing. If somehow my page has caused you to fall madly in love with me, go to the the SIP page and check out the discussion forum. I post under the name Lirillith. Getting to know me more directly should fix any undue fondness you may feel.