FINALLY Gothic HOWIE is here!!!
now the new god of the undead vampyres is seen!
after his long awaited wake he returns to us to be worshipped in his own Gothic fashion!
HERE IS YOUR GOTHIC HOWIE!!!
and now...
HOWIE'S GOTHIC CHECK LIST!
1. You pay 6 bucks for cigarettes that match your outfit
2. You wear sunglasses in the produce department at night (idea!)
3. You won't get in a fight because you might smudge your make-up
4. You wake up still drunk at 3 in the afternoon with anonymous black lip stick all over your face
5. People can't tell whether you're searching for a missing contact or dancing
6. You can't tell if your searching for a missing contact or dancing
7. You don't know whether the person you're sleeping with is male or female until your actually in bed with them
8. You don't care
9. The shade of powder you wear is called sheet of paper
10. You were rooting for the vampyres in "The Lost Boys"(who wasn't?), "From Dusk Til Dawn", etc.
11. The Count was your favorite Seaseme Street character as a child
12. You watch Seaseme Street as an adult just to see the Count
13. You wear long, velvet coats in the middle of summer
14. You go to Denny's at 3 in the morning and think "these are my people"
15. You think dead flowers are prettier than live ones
16. You think anything dead is pretty
17. You refer to your age in mortal years
18. You give yourself the honorary of Lord or Lady
19. You know what a Malkavian is
20. You know what a Malkavian is because you've been there done that
21. You have the T-shirt
22. You dressed as The Crow for Halloween one year...and didn't know it
23. You have dressed like The Crow for the past few years...and still didn't know it
24. The klub you frequent has concocted and original drink called "The Vampire's Kiss"
25. You buy $15 fishnets and rip them on purpose
26. You think blood is "pretty"
27. Your combat boots cost more than it takes to feed a third world child for two years
28. You've willingly undergone cosmetic dental surgery
29. You own 16 or more Cleopatra c.d.'s
30. You own even 1 Projekt c.d.
31. Friday the thirteenth is your lucky day
32. You can't decide whether Mortica Addams or Lily Munster is prettier
33. You decide Wednesday blows them both away
34. You could easily blow $500 in a Halloween store
35. You could spend all $500 on just make-up
36. You were disappointed to find out that "American Gothic" is a portrait of two farmers
37. You claim that Chupacabra is a friend/relative of yours
38. You own a hearse
39. You own a hearse and don't work in a funeral parlor
40. You keep a coffin in the back as a "decoration"
41. You keep a coffin in the back as a bed
42. You think of the hearse as the "family car"
43. You think heresy is a religion
44. You claim heresy as YOUR religion
45. You own a rosary that you wear
46. You own many rosaries that you wear
47. You own a glow-in-the-dark rosary that alternates between your neck and the rearveiw mirror in your car
48. You fashion your eyeliner after a culture thats been dead for over 2,000 years (ex. Gothic HOWIE)
49. You wish to name your first born Lestat
50. You wish to name your first born after ANY Anne Rice character
51. You didn't know that they were fictional characters
52. Your purse is large, square and metal
53. The purse has scratches in it from being used in a fight
54. It has scratches in it from being kicked on the dance floor
55. This is the reason it was scratched in a fight
56. You think bats are "cute"
57. You argue on whether Poppy Z. Brite or Anne Rice has the more "realistic" view on vampyres
58. You can debate both sides of the argument
59. You've participated in one of those "Do you think Tom Cruise was a good Lestat?" conversations
60. You've started one of those conversations
61. You saw Valor on the street, you would throw your large, metal purse at him
62. You and your friends enjoy congregating in a local graveyard
63. No one you know is buried there
64. You and your friends take lengthy drives to non-local graveyards
65. You take pictures of gravestones while reciting Oscar Wylde or singing "Cemetary Gates" by The Smiths
66. You know the words to "Cemetary Gates" by The Smiths
67. You know who The Smiths are
68. Your favorite poem is "The Raven" by Edgar Allen Poe
69. Your other favorite poem is "Metamorphisis of a Vampire" by Charles Baudelaire
70. You spell vampire either vampyre or vamphyre (see above)
71. Your boyfriend complains that his ribs just don't stick out the way they used to
72. Your girlfriend complains that you look better in her black, velvet skirt than she does
73. You refer to others as "the normals"
74. You refer to our leather-clad brethren and "Those Industrialists" or "Industrial-Heads"
75. You go to South Beach, but have never seen the ocean
76. You can reminisce through all 4 locations of the Kitchen Club and 2 of The Church
77. You put on The Wake and practice dancing in front of a mirror
78. You practice with your own personal black light AND strobe
79. You are too poor to afford either and steal the lights off the christmas tree
80. The only day you are looked at normally is Halloween
81. You are happy when no one has ever heard of your favorite band
82. When someone "discovers" your favorite band, you find a new favorite band
83. Christians accost you with pamphlets on the streets frequently
84. Jehovah's Witnesses accost you with pamphlets on the streets frequently
85. You accost Christians with pamphlets on the street
86. Satanists look at you and just smile
87. You laugh hysterically during those Church or Latter-Day Saints commercials (doesn't everyone?)
88. You call for the free bible anyways
89. You take great pleasure in vandalizing said bible after waiting impatiently by your mailbox for 4-6 weeks
90. You stop vandalizing your bible momentarily to look up Psalm 69
91. In your honest opinion, the image of jesus ruins the beauty and natural fluidity of the cross
92. You've been with your significant other for over a year and still wonder what they look like without make-up
93. You and your boyfriend fight over make-up
94. You decide to get matching his/hers make-up caddies to seperate your make-up
95. You smudge your lipstick on purpose to look like Robert Smith
96. You eat those limited edition pop tarts because they have bats on them (isn't that cute?)
97. You save them because HEY!...they're limited edition
98. You call them Goth-Tarts!
99. You know what Renfield's Disease is
100. You have Renfield's Disease
