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NEW Ghetto If's

Bounce back To Eseret
Are You A Hoochie

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1) If you rent Disney movies for your kids instead of reading to them, you're ghetto.

2) If you get on the bus with a car phone, you're ghetto.

3) If you think Africa is a country, you're ghetto.

4) If you think African is a language, you're just as ghetto.

5) If your album collection is composed of tapes full of songs you recorded off the radio, you're ghetto.

6) If your hair is more than one color, then you're ghetto.

7) If you've never seen grass, you're ghetto.

8) If you see a relative of yours on the TV show Cops, then you're ghetto.

9) If you bite people while you're boxing, then you're ghetto.

10) If you have gold teeth and are homeless,you're ghetto.

11) If you wear the same suit to church every Sunday, but play it off by switching ties, you ghetto.

12) If you have sex just to keep your mind off of how hungry you are, you're ghetto.

13) If your kids have more Sega games than books, you're ghetto.

14) If you have a tatoo of your own name on your body, you're ghetto.

15) If you use magazines for coasters, you're ghetto.

16) If you buy the newspaper, just for the sports section or the comics, you're ghetto.

17) If you think Hard Copy is a legitimate news source, you're ghetto.

18) If you steal baskets from the supermarket, you're ghetto.

19) If you were not aware the word "ghetto" has an "h" in it, you're ghetto.

20) If all of your towels have a hotel's name on them, you are ghetto.

21) If your idea of heating the house is leaving the oven on, you're ghetto.

22) If you still play Atari, you're ghetto.

23) If you have memorized the words to either Ace Ventura movie (and/or sing along then Jim Carrey goes into one of his comedic numbers), you're ghetto.

24) If you are reading this at a friends house,you're ghetto.

25) If you put water in the barbecue to make it last longer, you're ghetto.

26) If you think barbecue is spelled: bar-b-q,you're ghetto.

27) If the store around your house has the Pac-man video game, you're ghetto.

28) If you have more gold teeth than original ones, you're ghetto.

29) If people you don't know have copies of your prom pictures, you are ghetto.

30) If you keep a can of used grease on the stove to reuse it, you're ghetto.

31) If you carry around condiments in your purse, you're ghetto.

32) If the basketball goal on your corner is made ofan old crate with the bottom cut out, you're ghetto.

33) If you grow dread locks, accidentally, you're ghetto.

34) If you think it's cute that your kids can't read or spell at the age of 6, you're ghetto.

35) If your idea of central air is a fan in the hallway, you ghetto.

36) If you sleep (or have slept) in the same bed with siblings, you ghetto.

37) If you think milk is good ten days after the expiration date, you're ghetto.

38) If you drink soda called simply Cola, Orange,Grape, etc., you're ghetto.

39) If you or your mother goes to the store with rollers in her hair, you're ghetto.

40) If you own t-shirts, hats, and blank tapes that say Kool or Salem, you're ghetto.

41) If your hair is yellow and your complextion is near blue, you're ghetto.

42) If your hoop earings are large enough to double as bracelets, you're ghetto.

43) If you own more VCR's than TV's, your ghetto(it's okay to get rid of them once they break).

44) If you have more fake hair than original,you're ghetto. 45) If you have the movie Friday memorized,you're ghetto.

46) If you put more sugar in your kool-aid than water,you're ghetto.

47) If you wear dress socks with tennis shoes,you're ghetto.

48) If you buy all of your appliances from "that guy around the corner," you ghetto (and an accomplice).

49) If your boss pays you in cash, you're ghetto.

50) If you sleep in a stocking cap, you're ghetto.

51) If "eggs and rice" is a part of your diet, you're ghetto.

52) If you put hand lotion in your hair, you're ghetto.

53) If you can run the block barefoot, you're a special ghetto.

54) If you have Netscape on an old Commadore 64, you're ghetto (and probably don't know it).

55) If your 2 year old can do the electric slide,you're ghetto.

56) If you go to restaurants weekly and say it's your birthday just to get a free desert, you're ghetto.

57) If you wear a Charles Barkley SUNS jersey,you're ghetto.

58) When you play basketball on the street and have to imagine the goal, you're ghetto.

59) If you brag about how many times you've been shot, you're ghetto.

60) If you eat syrup sandwiches, you're ghetto.

61) If you have an airbrushed shirt with "RIP BOOMAN" on it, you're ghetto.

62) If your TV makes everybody look tall, skinny,and green, you're ghetto.

63) If you keep ketchup packets from fast food restaurants, you're ghetto.

64) If all of your straws come from McDonalds and Burger King, you're ghetto.

65) If you rap on No Limit Records, or Cash Money Records, you're ghetto.

66) If you fry bologna, you're ghetto.

67) If you thought bologna was spelled "baloni," you're ghetto.

68) If you read entire magazines in the store,you're ghetto.

69) If your favorite rapper has "Mac" in his name(for example: Mack 10, Mac-Mall, the Macster, G-Mac, MacMike, the Mac Mobb,Big Mac, Forever Mackin', Killa D Mac, MC Mac, the Mac Squad, etc.), you're ghetto.

70) If you see dead roaches on the floor and don't throw them away, you're ghetto.

71) If you have sex doggie-style so you don't mess up your hair, you're ghetto.

72) If your house is furnished because of a riot,you're ghetto.

73) If you and your spouse won't get married because it would interfere with your government check, you're ghetto.

74) If your socks have colored stripes at the top, you're ghetto.

75) If you use your front and back porch as storage space, you're ghetto.

76) If you lick the plate when you finish eating, you're ghetto.

77) If you get jumped for wearing the wrong colors in your hood, you're ghetto.

78) If your infant wears regular seat belts when you drive, you're ghetto.

79) If you wear shorts with jogging pants under them, you're ghetto.

80) If your afro is shaped funny because you started growing it from a flat-top, you're ghetto.

81) If you answer to "psssssss," you're ghetto.

82) If you hold up ward or gang signs in pictures,you're ghetto.

83) If your grandma is called, "Nana," and you don't know her REAL name, you're ghetto.

84) If the cashier at the check-cashing store knows you by your first name, you're ghetto.

85) If you write girls' phone numbers on lottery tickets, you're ghetto.

86) If you buy a walkie-talkie because you don't want to pay the phone bill, you're ghetto.

87) If you ever tried to make a phone with a coffee can and string, you're ghetto.

88) If you sleep on a matress that's on the floor, you're ghetto.

89) If you approach females with: "Say, boo...what yo' name is?" you're ghetto.(and ignorant)

90) If you have a weight bench in your back yard, you're ghetto.

91) If your grandma has the highest income in the family, you're ghetto.

92) If 2Pac was played at your family member's funeral, you are ghetto.

93) If you think Jeru Da Damaja is a Schwarzenegger movie, you're definately ghetto.

94) If you spell "the" as "da"...or finish words with "-a" or "-ah" that normally end in "-er" you ghetto.

96) If you're ridin' and you ask the guy in the car next to you to "turn it up," you're ghetto.

97) If the choir from your church says: "Ain't no party like a holy ghost party cause a holy ghost party don't stop!", you're ghetto.

98) If you're still jammin' to Kris Kross and any Hammer (or MC Hammer) album, you're ghetto.

99) If you've ever tried to start a fire with two pencils, you're ghetto. (and stupid)

100) If you think milk is good ten days after the expiration date, you're ghetto.