Signs Your Kids Have Been Watching Too Much Jerry Springer
Signs You Kids Have Been Watching Too Much Jerry Springer
- During Sunday sermon, they hold a palm up to the pastor and say, "Talk to the hand!"
- Every night at the dinner table is the same routine: "Eat your vegetables," and the chairs go flying.
- You've had to replace the babysitter with three burly stagehands.
- Dinner topic: "Teenage boys who hide Playboys under their mattresses."
- Junior's new mastery of the headlock has made him the star of his high school debate team.
- Have evolved from playing "Doctor" to "Plastic Surgeon specializing in Male Enlargement."
- They want to know why they only live in a house instead of a double-wide trailer.
- At the dinner table, little Billy announces a surprise guest -- your secretary/mistress.
- Your Elvis shrine ain't been Endusted in two weeks.
- Her tendency to hop up on tables, tear her shirt open and dance suggestively has gotten you banned from more than one Chuck E. Cheese.
- Your youngest has stopped calling you "Mommy" in favor of "Crack-ho."
- Math: C-
Interviewing Transvestite Hookers: A+
- Last year, when you told him to clean his room, you merely got a sullen look. This year you get a dining room chair over your head.
- Your son asks if anyone makes a DNA paternity test kit for Cabbage Patch Kids.
- During that "little talk" with Junior, you're forced to admit that you don't know if hermaphrodites are "birds" or "bees."
- Poor Ken just found out he hasn't been dating Barbie, but GI Joe in drag.