"We seemed unable to agree about 
anything to do with 
'Battered Old Bird'. 
We tried it in faster tempi, 
different keys and vocal deliveries 
but nothing could be sustained 
for the entire song.  
It is a very long song based on 
the tenants of the house in which 
my family had the basement flat 
until I was five years old.  
Of course I changed some of 
the details.  I was actually taught 
to swear in Welse by our landlady 
but it doesn't rhyme.  Some of the
more nightmarish characters have been 
distorted by time but others, 
like the 'old maids', the scriptwriter 
who drank burgandy for breakfast 
and the fellow who always kept an old 
plastic christmas tree in the cupboard 
by the stairs in case of emergencies, 
were real enough.  Because the song contained 
those childhood memories I found it 
hard to make any cuts. One night, 
during mixing Nick hit on the solution. 
By a combination of vari-speeding 
and bold editing, two seperate versions 
were spliced into one (a lession 
learned from 'Strawberry Fields Forever'). 
A growling harmonium was dubbed
onto the cracks and while the hybrid 
isn't perfect, I'm glad we didn't 
simply scrap the song entirely." 

 

 
  

The landlady's husband came up to town today
Since he left them both ten years ago 
to serve the ministry
The dark down road of his approach 
in constant rain was drenched
The tenant's boy said "How d'ya do" then swore in French
Did you teach this little child these curses on my soul
You should both be shut down in the coal-hole
That's the way to treat a child who cries out in the night
And a woman who teaches wrong from right

Chorus

He's a Battered Old Bird
And he's living up there
There's a place where time stands still
If you keep taking those little pink pills

"Hush your mouth you hypocrite"
His humour cut her deep
The tight lipped leer of judgement
That had seen her love desert her just like sleep
"Filthy words on children's lips are better, my dear spouse
Then if I were to speak my mind about this house"

(chorus)

On the first floor there are two old maids
Each one wishing that the other was afraid
And next door to them is a man so mild
'Til he chopped off the head of a visitor's child
He danced upon the bonfire
Swallowed sleeping pills like dreams
With a bottle of sweet sherry 
that everything redeems

(chorus)

And on the second floor is the Macintosh Man
He's in his overcoats more than out of them
And the typewriter's rattling all through the night
He's burgundy for breakfast tight
He says "One day I'll throw away all of my cares
And it is always Christmas 
in a cupboard at the top of the stairs"

(chorus)

"Well here's a boy if ever there was
Who's going to do big things
That's what they all say 
and that's how the trouble begins
I've seen them rise and fall
Been through their big deals and smalls
He'd better have a dream that goes beyond four walls"
You think he should be sent outside 
playing with the traffic
When pieces of him are already 
scattered in the attic

(chorus)