Bassoons and Monkeys: So different, yet so the same...

Questions I have been asked...

• What is a bassoon?~~If you do not know what a bassoon is, I'll be simple. It is a long instrument. It is usually made out of wood. And yes, you BLOW ON IT. You DO NOT hit it.
• What's so special about monkeys?~~ MONKEYS ARE AWESOME! They can swing from trees by their tails, they can eat bananas their whole life...and NEVER get sick of bananas! Also, they are so CUTE! Plus, only they can scratch themselves or each other in public and not get called nasty names.
• How do monkeys and bassoons connect?~~ Both are special to me. Plus, they are both usually brown until painted. They can both be SO SILLY too! Really, it's cool!
• Are any bassoon players like monkeys?~~ Um, actually YES! I am a monkey. I LOVE bananas! (Except for "The Gay Banana")
• What is "The Gay Banana"?~~ Only the most DISGUSTING creature on earth! No really, he is! He flirts with everyone and everything...including his instrument. He is called "The Gay Banana" because he dyed his hair YELLOW and spiked it. It really looks like a gay banana! Fortunately, he quit band and changed his looks. Now no one who sees him has to know he was once associated with the Jenks Trojan Pride Band.
• What's the deal with "Boners are Sexy"?~~ Insider's joke. Here's the deal...I was the only female bassoonist that most of my friends know that had NOT gone out with a trombone player. A certain friend of mine didn't like the fact that I hadn't experienced the torture of going out with a trombone player, so she tried to change it by making me say "Boners are Sexy" at least 3 times a day. It would not have been so bad if she would have just let me add the word "SOME". Well, it must have worked because I eventually DID go out with a trombone player.
• What is the Monkey Club?~~Okay. I am the president of a really awesome club called "The Monkey Club". We love monkeys! We DO mean the cute furry animals that you can see at the zoo...not something else, you SICK PERVERTS! I know that you are out there! It has many cool members with neat monkey club names...like Spanky (Isabel), Abu (Julie), Joe-Mamma (Nicole), Lactose (Becky), Shi-thead (me), Socks (Claire/Genevieve/???), French (Leslie), Romeo (Some guy named Travis), Flash (Jennifer), Chong (Stacie), Jimmy (Jimmy), Cra Phead (Jim... an associate member), Condom Queen (Danielle), Pimp Kitty (Kat), Kinky Sex Toy (Courtney), Lick It (Mark), Touch It (Kelley), Fluke (Someone from Colorado), and a WHOLE BUNCH of others. If there are any monkey club members that I didn't mention that WANTS to be mentioned. e-mail me! If you want to JOIN the monkey club, e-mail me!
• Why do you like the *Euphonium* so much?~~ The *Euphonium* is so obviously superior to all other low brass instruments. No one gives *Euphonium* players the respect and admiration they deserve. Plus, the people who play are some of the COOLEST people on earth! If you want to know more about the *Euphonium* and why I don't call it the B-WORD, then go to JIM'S PAGE.
  

My OTHER pages...go see them ALL! :)

Updated!!! The PHIL RULES page! (Yes, I have finally changed it!)
The *cheese* page!
UNDER CONSTRUCTION! My FrIeNdS page!
Stuff about Donna, the maker of this page... including a NEW survey!
THE ANTI-TROMBONE page! :)
My joke page!
See some Jenks Band "Remember When?" statements compiled by myself and other bandies! Updated 8/31/2002.
A story I wrote for a class at OSU! Demented is not quite the word for this new story of mine, but at least it's entertaining! It was inspired by Tanith Lee's version of "Cinderella" titled "When the Clock Strikes." New! Some of my personal opinions.
My Friends' Pages/Favorite Places to visit

Courtney's page!
Courtney's fantasy page
Leslie's Cat Paradise... if you hate cats, don't go there!
Kelley's page. Go here only if you are prepared to handle pure weirdness!
The MONKEY CLUB home page!
A very enlightening EUPHONIUM page!
Lactose's home page! Very Skittley!
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