The totally official pages of all Leonardo DiCrap haters. You'll find the following here...

-main page-
-pics-
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-the leo f.a.q-
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-101WAYS TO KILL IT-
-mindmess-
so enjoy!

    Well hello, I see you've come to find out that yes I really did sit down and think of 101 ways to kill Leonardo DiCaprio. The idea didn't come to me, it was actually given to me by a 'fan' of my hate page. Well, in case you're wonderong...YES, I do have a life. It only took me about 45 minutes, and I was bored anyway. Just a little reminder: all of the stuff on this portion of my page is strictly a joke and should not be carried out in real life. A bunch of this stuff is extremely dangerous and I myself would never do it to another living being. Read on!

  1. Make him go on Jerry Springer while the Klan is on.
  2. Pour molten lava over his little peanut head.
  3. Replace his crack with Arsenic.
  4. Stick marsmallows in his snorkel.
  5. Paint him yellow and put him in the middle of a Southern California Highway.
  6. Tie him to the top of a tree, pull it all the way down and *ZING* let it fly!
  7. Tie him to the front of a bullet train and wait.
  8. Two words: Succinylcholine Chloride. (Evil poison)
  9. Tie him to the front of a scissor truck and crash it into the front of a hospital for the criminally insane.
  10. Put him on a replica of the Titanic and let it sink. Then ask him "IS THIS ROMANTIC, DORK BOY??!"
  11. Pull his hair back into a really tight ponytail and let whatever little brains he has leak out.
  12. Put him in a utility box, and drop it over into the Gulf of Mexico.
  13. Two words: Iron Maiden.
  14. Tell him the Jr. High girls track team is coming his way and they can run 20 miles before they get tired. (He'll die of exhuastion running away -or to?- from them)
  15. Cover him in cat food and release starving kitties on him.
  16. Feed him Tofu pie.
  17. Tie him to a chair and release 11 year old fans on him.
  18. Dress him as Barney and turn him loose around a bunch of teenagers with baseball bats.
  19. Tell the Giraffes he's a mutated head of lettuce.
  20. Tell a bunch of angry teenagers he's a narc.
  21. Put him in a Koosh Ball truck and crash him into Rosie O'Donnel's house.
  22. Make him watch Titanic.
  23. Steal that black cancer from the X-Files and give it to him.
  24. Feed him to very angry and hungry aliens.
  25. Tell him that Tea Leoni is a guy, and then tell David Duchovny that someone is stalking his woman. He'll be dead in 2 minutes.
  26. Paint some coral brown and then attach it to his head with wood screws and then put him in the forest during deer season.
  27. Change his airline reservation to make him land in South Bronx.
  28. Tell him the waterbed isn't supposed to have a mattress.
  29. Stab him repeatedly with an extremely dull rusty spoon.
  30. Make him sleep with that old chick from Titanic.
  31. Set his box on fire.
  32. Tell him bleeding is trendy. (Death by bloodloss)
  33. Push him out of a plane somewhere over a desert. The parachute is optional.
  34. Make him cry nonstop. In a week he'll die of dehydration.
  35. Paint him red and put him in a pen with a bull.
  36. Give him a stopsign and make him be a crossing guard in Las Vegas. (Not one of the safest jobs)
  37. Secretly drop all of your gambling chips in his pocket, and while he's leaving scream "THAT GUY STOLE YOUR CHIPS!" He'll be dead before he hits the floor.
  38. Replace his tobasco sauce with pepper spray.
  39. Spray him in the face with a CO2 fire extinguisher.
  40. Give him a fire cracker and tell him it's a cigar.
  41. Tell him sleeping by hanging from a noose around his neck, will attract more girls/guys.
  42. Paint him orange and tell him to pretend he's a cone at a driving school. Some 17 year old kid will run him over.
  43. Use hypnosis to make him think he's a cat and then feed him aspirin and beer.
  44. Put automotive epoxy in his carmex tube.
  45. Make him really dizzy, and then put him in front of a plate glass window.
  46. Take him to the zoo, and tell him a bunch of non teenage girl fans are coming, and tell him the only place to hide is in the nice cage were they usually keep the tigers. And if the tigers don't kill him, oh well, new zoo exhibit.
  47. Lock him up in a car, and let it sit out in the desert in the summer for about an hour.
  48. Tell him if he looks really close, he can see the eagle drinking from the river at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Then shove.
  49. Dress him up in non-neutral gang colors, and send him to East L.A.
  50. Dress him as Jesus and send him to a Satanist convention.
  51. Dress him as Satan and send him to a Christian convention.
  52. Introduce him to Henry Lee Lucas. (Most notorious mass murderer of all times. Confessed to killing over 500 people)
  53. Cover him with Honey, and throw him in an ant pile.
  54. Nail pieces to his body, and throw him in a termite hill.
  55. Tell die hard South Park fans that HE killed Kenny.
  56. Give him a fur coat and turn him loose in an animal rights demonstration.
  57. Shove a beachball under his shirt and make him go into an abortion clinic during a demonstration. They'll think he's a 15 year old girl.
  58. Wire a touchlamp to deliver 200 volts when you try to turn it on. If the first touch doesn't kill him, the 2nd one sure as hell will!
  59. Feed him to a dinosaur.
  60. Tell him that the refrigerator has been possessed by an evil spirit. He'll starve to death.
  61. Get him so drunk that he passes out in the street, just as a steam roller is conveniently coming.
  62. Put a mirror at the bottom of a pool.
  63. Lock him in a closet and force him to listen to Hanson.
  64. Lock him in a room without a mirror.
  65. Force him to listen to that Celine Dion song over and over.
  66. Make him go to a Spice Girls/Hanson/Celine Dion/Oprah/any CBS TV show/Titanic/Eddie Murphey movie marathon.
  67. Put a bunch of superglue on his hands. (THINK ABOUT IT)
  68. Then tell him Kerosine disinegrates super glue, then give him a cigarette.
  69. Make him marry Mike Tyson.
  70. Feed him a bunch of magnets, then push him onto a bed of nails.
  71. Hit him over the head with a potted plant named 'Fred'.
  72. Volunteer him at a knife throwing school.
  73. Make him watch old Saved By the Bell reruns.
  74. Feed him to Nell Carter.
  75. Ice Capades every night for 2 weeks. 'Nuff said.
  76. Put him in a cat suit and set him free amongst a pack of wild dogs.
  77. Dress him as a tree and push him into a loggers' convention.
  78. Stab him with a spork.
  79. Push him down the stairs.
  80. Tell a bunch of little kids he's got candy in his pockets.
  81. Tell a bunch of gay guys he has ants in his pants.
  82. Make him wear a disguise and tell a bunch of leo lovers he hates Leo.
  83. Tell him a cheap way to make a hot tub is to put a hair dryer in a bathtub.
  84. Tell him he's a natural sword swallower.
  85. Put a card board cutout of a 12 year old in the middle of a freeway.
  86. Throw mercury at him and yell "CATCH!"
  87. Take a balloon that you make animals out of and fill it with the ebola virus and put it on a hotdog bun and feed it to him.
  88. Put him in a room with evil killer bees.
  89. Feed him some beans and lock him in an airtight room.
  90. Put him in an airtight room period.
  91. Paint him green and feed him to cows with a pituitary gland deformity. (Giant cows)
  92. Cut his arm off and throw him in shark infested waters.
  93. Give him some fish and tell him the nice little bears at Yosemite will eat right out of your hand!
  94. One word: Anthrax.
  95. Chain him to the back of a Nascar race car.
  96. Give him a papercut on his tongue and then feed him some salt.
  97. Cut off all of his limbs and then let his fans have him.
  98. Let him be a host for a giant tick.
  99. Give him tapeworms.
  100. Tell him he can fax himself anywhere he wants to go in the world just by crawling in the machine.
  101. Just shoot him.