Quotes of the Day

(Some contain vulgar language) You’ve been warned Sometime in 11th grade English class "Mr. Lipka, you have the incredible ability to suck the focus out of an entire room. You are a focus sinkhole, Mr. Lipka." - Mr. Dziuk as said to Justin Lipka 1-4-01 “There is no such thing as recreational use of cocaine.” – Cocaine movie in Human Physiology 1-9-01 “Are you using the right fingers or stupid fingers?” - Mr. Visnaw as said to Chris Schimers 1-12-01 “Sorry, I’m an ass hole.” - Larry Ruhlman on his personality 1-16-01 “She can slice, dice, tag, and bag you in twenty minutes.” - The guy at the morgue on one of the technicians 1-19-01 “Shake your butt Tommy!” - Tommy’s aunt “I feel bad for her, she looks like a man.” - Tommy’s cousin Melissa 1-22-01 “Cute little thing except for that head.” - Mrs. Erfurt talking about a little girl with hydrocephally 1-23-01 “Take your time!” - Mrs. Erfurt as said to Rose “I answered a question in Mr. Dziuk’s class today. Wasn’t good enough for the bastard.” - Tommy Braun “Testes testes one two I don’t have three.” - Lane Marston 1-25-01 “Shut up I’m eating mother fucker.” - Chris Schimers during lunch 2-5-01 “Starts with an F, ends with an isics.” - Justin Lipka “LSD’s good.” - Some kid that said that really loud in the hall during Jazz Band 2-9-01 “I don’t wanna watch Sean Connery play the saxophone.” - Joe Kotermanski during intermission at the concert at CMU Jazz Weekend (“Sean Connery” played the trumpet by the way and his name was Randy Brecker) 2-12-01 “Honor Society’s corrupt.” - Brad Krawczyk 2-14-01 “What cross goes bye bye?” - Tommy Braun finding his blind spot in Human Phys. “I really hope some kid pukes in the pool today.” - Jordan Ferraro not wanting to go to work 2-16-01 “Because she’s a whore and I don’t like her.” - Nicole Badaczewski on her favorite person in the world 2-19-01 “Look out Joe, incoming.” - Justin Black warning Joe Kotermanski of Rose in Human Phys. “This is very important, boom.” - Jessica Brancaleone 2-21-01 “What name was that?”….. “Don’t worry about it.” - Question and answer from Jeremy Manning’s poetry presentation “He had some birth defect like no head or something.” - Jeremy Manning during that same presentation 2-28-01 “Well he’s a gook then.” - Chris Schimers 3-2-01 “I’m going nucking futs.” - Nicole Badaczewski “Hey Steve come take a piss with me I don’t wanna go in the dark.” - Chris Schimers 3-3-01 “I’m gonna go home and pray the Rosary.” - Jordan Ferraro during a game of Padiddle 3-6-01 “Did ya think about it? You thought about sex didn’t you?” - Tommy Braun 3-13-01 “Shish ka Claude” and “Claude ka bob” - Larry Ruhlman and Justin Lipka during the reading of Hamlet “Shut up fucker I’m eating.” -Chris Schimers once again during lunch 3-20-01 “Did you put it in the wrong hole Tommy?” - Joe Kotermanski during the heart dissection 3-22-01 “That’s bullshit Paul.” - Jordan Ferraro 3-26-01 “We win!” - Mr. Visnaw on the Detroit News article 3-27-01 “The attention span of a gnat. Oh look a rubber ball.” - Justin Lipka “If I had a pound of crack, I’d smoke it, and do that.” - Justin Lipka (With retard accent) “I’m the most advanced one on the team.”…….. (lose retard accent) “You guys are fucked.” - Justin Lipka on an ROTC cadet 4-2-01 “Sticks and Stones may break my bones but I got a bat mother fucker.” - Justin Lipka 4-5-01 “Count your rests Mr. Sauer.” - Mr. Visnaw 4-6-01 “I’m white.” - Mr. Sauer “Anybody wanna buy a stereo?” - Some kid in the hall 4-9-01 “Nicole tell Tommy to get a life.” - Mrs. Erfurt 4-10-01 “Aw fuck.” - Me 4-21-01 “What’s a yacht?” (pronounced like yatch it) - Jacob Korte 4-23-01 “Oops I just blew its nose off.” - Mrs. Erfurt 4-24-01 “Mine are shit brown.” - Justin Lipka on the color of his eyes “Senor Chewy.” - Justin Lipka “Bitch!” - Can’t remember “Tommy you’re disgusting.” - Can’t remember but it was during lunch “I’m gonna fart on you.” - Tommy Braun 4-25-01 “That stupid Japanese fucker that made the test.” - Justin Lipka on the color blindness test 4-26-01 “BS is good as long as you back it up.” - Crazy Lenny “Hey you AP kids shut your mouths.” - Mitch Berrie 4-30-01 “Lane participates in F-27.” - Whoever announced Lane at the NHS induction 5-1-01 “Trombly I’ll tell your mother.” - Mr. Ossy threatening Jason Trombly in Geography 5-2-01 “Does it look like I fucking shave my knees?” - Tommy Braun “Are they metal?” - Can’t remember 5-7-01 “Jew U! Sign me up.” - Larry Ruhlman “Bacteria poop smells like people poop.” - Mrs. Erfurt 5-8-01 “They’re dead!” - Some little kid at the zoo 5-10-01 “There’s seven out in the hall Phil.” - Jude Pagel during the induction of the new Junior rep for NHS 5-14-01 “When your intestines liquify you tend not to live.” - Larry Ruhlman “They got little pee bags hanging from their cages.” - Julie Ziobro talking about the catheterization of the animals at the vet 5-15-01 “Did you do that? I want a rag and I want it picked the fuck up.” - Can’t remember but it was most likely Justin Lipka 5-16-01 “I threw em away last night.” - Larry Ruhlman talking about throwing away something important for English “So what if we’re chauvanistic pigs? I like it!” - Justin Lipka “This in ennui!” - Justin Lipka at the senior awards “Look how low the plane gets before it lands.” - Larry Ruhlman and his brilliant observation while flying to Florida 5-17-01 “The attention span of a four year-old-retard.” - Nicole Badaczewski 5-21-01 “When in doubt, dyke it out.” - Justin Lipka “Que pene!” (it means “what a penis” in Spanish) - Justin Lipka 5-22-01 “Rufus Reid is cool and so are you.” - Jacob Korte “Well it looks like the Fuck Up Fairy has visited us once again.” - Nicole Badaczewski “Describe the rooth of the tooth.” - Human Phys. Worksheet “Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?” - Nicole Badaczewski 5-23-01 “High school, best six years of my life.” - Justin Lipka “Who’s Mustardweed?!” - Larry Ruhlman asking about A Midsummer Night’s Dream “If they take your IQ and square it and it’s the same number, you’re in trouble.” - Justin Lipka 5-24-01 “Write em yourself you lazy fuck!” - Most likely Justin Lipka or Larry Ruhlman, but it was in English Class 5-25-01 “Fuck this shit.” - General mood of the seniors as this was their last day of school. “Son of a bitch its light out!” - Mom talking about the neighbor “I didn’t know camels could read.” - Tommy Braun 6-9-01 “Let’s play kittens and pretend this is a big litterbox!” - Lane Marston on the sand volleyball court 6-10-01 “Now he can’t touch us without getting arrested.” - Derek Parrott on Mr. Sauer 6-17-01 “Oh my God I thought it was a horse!” - Larry Ruhlman upon seeing a black dog running along the road at his graduation party “They look like two little tomatoes joining my legs.” - Paul Brodzik on his sunburned knees 6-21-01 “Oh my God it’s those testicles. Come on.” - Mom 6-22-01 “Mine smell like powdered shit.” - Dad talking about his armpits after working in the yard 6-23-01 “I wouldn’t go to Canada to save my soul.” - Jordan Ferraro “What seatbelt?” - Josh Ferraro in the back of Derek’s truck upon learning his brother had a seatbelt “Here, take the sign. It’s from the tart.” - My cousin Rick on the graduation sign his mom stuck in the front lawn 6-25-01 “I didn’t eat that!” - Nicole Badaczewski upon viewing her vomit at my house 6-29-01 “You’ll go retarded.” - Jacob Korte on what will happen if you ride the Millennium Force 9 times in a row “He’s pimping his sister?!” - Jordan Ferraro after me saying that Jacob is a pimp because he’s always with all girls 6-30-01 “Ray’s got the fogger man!” - Some drunk guy at Bejma’s party “I thought the worm was his manhood.” - Kate Darga on Joe Kotermanski’s ability to do the Worm “Arsenic is not considered date rape Dave.” - Paul Brodzik “Well its kind of a country, but not really.” - Dave Shibley’s cousin on Canada “I hate being so damn short.” - Danielle Forrest “No! I scratched! Son of a whore!” - Paul Brodzik “Didn’t France smell?” - Danielle Forrest “I gotta go home. Even drunks don’t laugh at my jokes.” - Dave Shibley “Dave, don’t be a penis. Tell the joke.” - Kate Darga “Don’t shit on the donkey.” - Joe Kotermanski “You wanna touch his junk?” - Julie Bejma “That’s fucked.” - Julie Bejma “Lush!” - Rachel Cheney “Dave’s a little shit man.” - Danielle Forrest “I was gonna eat the salad but then I realized it was potpourri.” - Danielle Forrest and Julie Bejma “Well brand that on my ass and call me Tootsie.” - Paul Brodzik “Dyslexic you makes alcohol?” - Paul Brodzik “If you could pain the Mona Lisa on your dick I would give you $500.” - Julie Bejma “I shit on the female donkey.” - Joe Kotermanski on what people say in Spain when they’re mad “Do you have two?” - Julie Bejma asking someone if they have two penises “We didn’t know where the music was coming from but boy did they dance.” - Paul Brodzik upon hearing the Mexican story from Brandenburg “It’s like the fucking Grand Canyon in a phone.” - Paul Brodzik when talking on a cell phone to someone else in the same room “Now I know why you don’t have any bangs.” - Bejma’s Aunt Marie upon seeing my Jerry rigged lighter with the huge flame “Wow, is that green or am I just messed up?” - Kate Darga looking at a light in Bejma’s basement “Oh shit I got a peanut too.” - Bejma’s Uncle Glen eating the Chex Mix “He ate my pants. They were on me.” - Danielle Forrest on Bejma’s dog Bandit “You’re screwed. You better leave your clothes on.” - Bejma’s Uncle Glen “Walt come down here and fart.” - Bejma’s Uncle Glen upon learning Renee had a stuffy nose “How do you know the sun doesn’t shine there?” - Bejma’s Uncle Glen “If I had enough money I’d kill people too. It’d be fun.” - Bejma’s Uncle Glen when we were talking about O.J. “That dog is a son of a bitch.”……“No he’s not.”……..“Technically he is.” - Paul Brodzik on Bejma’s dog “I hate dry people.” - Julie Bejma talking about people with a dry sense of humor “Holy shit!” - Paul Brodzik 7-1-01 “Blue hair’s lose in the street.” - Dad on Miss Bev’s mom "Talk to her Meat Boy!" - Nicole Badaczewski "I think I'm gonna make like a fetus and head out." - Kate Darga 7-2-01 “The people at Big Boy do crack.” - Steve Chapoton “I would.” - Steve Chapoton on whether he would let his daughter work at a bar like Coyote Ugly “It’s got a good plot.” - Jacob Korte on Coyote Ugly “Find a hole.” - Jacob Korte on where to sleep in Cedar Point “What the heck is the Rosary?” - Jacob Korte 7-7-01 “I need to go outside so I can smoke my brains out.” - Stephanie Leach’s friend Joe “Oh shit.” - Some guy at Stephanie’s grad party that said that every time he hit the volleyball “Thank you God!” - This little kid Justin at Stephanie’s grad party when the ball hit his sister in the head “My three favorite words are I hate Sammy.” - The Justin kid on his sister “Is it prickly?” - Stephanie’s mom on Phil’s hair “You Nair your pubes and you know it.” - Stephanie’s friend Joe talking to Phil “You two are so fucking cute.” - Stephanie’s friend Joe on Nicole and I 7-8-01 “Does anybody care about her?” - Larry Ruhlman on Sheena “Jacob, where’s your pants?” - Dave Shibley asking his little cousin 7-11-01 "If my judgement wasn't so impared right now I would have went." - Paul Brodzik waiting to turn out of Taco Bell on Gratiot at night after we saw the Final Fantasy movie 7-13-01 "Why are my pants glowing?" - Jacob Korte upon seeing bleach trails on his pants under the black light at the bowling alley "That is the most gay adjective you can use." - Jacob Korte on the word whimsical "He runs around on stage like a cripple on crack." - Paul Brodzik on Carrot Top "I have to go in this store. If you touch anything I'll beat you severely with a stick." - Some lady at Lakeside Mall (Contributed by Larry Ruhlman and Deanna Niemiec) 7-14-01 "Go die." - My dad as said to my aunt's dog. 7-18-01 "They're Middle Eastern. They'll shoot you." - Paul's friend Brandon 7-21-01 "Roll over retard." - Julie Ziobro as said to her dog "Thank God I'm not in band!" - Julie Bejma "We're gonna party all night long!" - Some drunk guy on Muscamoot Bay "I like it when you call me Big Poppa!" - The same drunk guy from the bay "Hey you girls in the fuckin' dingy boat! The party's over here!" - Drunk Bay guy 7-22-01 "When did Scott hit puberty?" - Me 7-23-01 "Who's Alexandra?"...."She's my grandma." - Julie Ziobro's question while reading Paul's little black book and Paul Brodzik's answer "God damn!" - Paul Brodzik "How bout that?" - Paul Brodzik "That's such a bright idea. Let's not have leadership." - Paul Brodzik upon learning there might not be color guard co-captains this year "I'd like to go for a ride in Cap'n's Guppie." - Paul Brodzik 7-26-01 "And one time at band camp, we were all in the SAC together." - Ryan Larson "If there's grass in the field play ball." - Ryan Larson "I'm glad I don't have to march in this crap." - Andy Bokano on band camp "If I was on fire I'd smoke." - Nicole Badaczewski "Cookies!" - Ryan Larson upon the discovery of cookies in Paul's van "Oh God I feel like I'm at Major Magic's when that shit comes on." - Kate Darga on the Blast! CD "Don't be shit talkin'" - Ryan Larson "Hey Larson!" - Mr. Larson trying to get Ryan's attention 7-27-01 "No, now I'm stuck with the flutes who don't know what the heck they're doing." - Mike Kukula on his marching band spot "Screw the watermelon. I like poop." - Ryan Delmotte upon hearing a story about shit porn "How 'bout fireworks?" - Larry Ruhlman on a prank to pull on "someone" "I'm not a male I'm a graduate." - Larry Ruhlman "Rhode Island? I'm sorry." - Nicole Badaczewski upon seeing a Rhode Island license plate on a car in the hotel parking lot "P.D. What does that stand for? Pussy dick?" - Larry Ruhlman "She's not mine, Phil can have her." - Ryan Delmotte on some chick from band camp 8-5-01 "Eat a carrot you fat tub of shit." - My dad upon hearing my story of two very large women riding the amigos "Ow my tits!" - Not at liberty to say 8-6-01 "My name is Recoom it rhymes with doom and you'll be hurting all too soon." - Eric Anderson 8-8-01 "Look at her. She looks like a Porch Monkey." - My dad upon seeing my cat's dirty face 8-10-01 "They Yeti's are a family aren't they?" - My mom after hearing a story about Yetis from my brother "That's what you get for being polite." - Larry Ruhlman after Deanna complained that people were leaving her when she held the door open for them "You were in tee ball dear." - Deanna Niemiec talking to Larry during some conversation about softball or something "I'm gonna run into myself sooner or later." - Julie Bejma playing Snake on a cell phone "I don't want any dead carcasses in this place." - Dave Shibley making fun of the mean lady at the library after she told a man having a heart attack or something that he better not sit in front of one of the computers "Its a bong!" - Larry Ruhlman after seeing the "burner" in Paul's chemistry set "I need to pleasure myself somehow." - Deanna Niemiec as said to Larry "I've made worse shit." - Larry Ruhlman "Oh he's gonna land on his head this time." - Dave Shibley while running into the invisible wall in the motocross game "I guess you don't bounce when you land on your head." - Dave Shibley playing the motocross game "How does he cut shrubs with those?" - Kate Darga pondering about "Edward Penishands" 8-12-01 "Missing babies?!" - Karl Loebach upon picking up the front page of the newspaper "Maybe its the baby Eric ate." - Josh Ferraro on the afore mentioned quote 8-13-01 "This is stupid!" - Amy Karpinski on something Jazz Band related "Hot dog on my stick." - Joe Kotermanski "He likes to drop his drawers in front of guys." - Joe Kotermanski on a certain person who shall remain nameless "I don't know he gets girlfriends. They must be drunk." - Joe Kotermanski on a different person who shall remain nameless "They look like cookies." - Jacob Korte on the hamburgers Sara burned "Damn gabitch." - Joe Kotermanski on some foreign saying "Yeah your God." - Paul Brodzik making fun of Nicole Badaczewski "They were kinda saggy actually." - Jacob Korte upon telling the story of a man walking down 23 mile in his underwear and being asked if they were boxers or briefs "Why didn't you take advantage of him Lauren?" - Jacob Korte after hearing the story of the drunk 23-year-old that was hitting on me "In one?" - Jacob Korte (In what I can't remember) "Is your house different?" - Jacob Korte as said to Sara Kern "A lot of Larson's? They're multiplying?!" - Paul Brodzik once again making fun of Nicole "It's only good for five rape attempts eh?" - Paul Brodzik again making fun of Nicole because she said Mace only comes with five sprays "Wasn't there a leaf in the table then?" - Jacob Korte still stuck on the topic of Sara's house "I have the heart and soul of a big black man." - Jacob Korte "I hate myself." - Jacob Korte 8-14-01 "Hey slow down!" - Kate Darga I believe while driving in Cedar Point "We're gonna die!" - The kid on the Millenium Force that rode in the train in front of us "You mean brownies made with marijuana?!" - The same kid that said the previous quote, except while waiting in line "3. Shut up." - Sara Kern reading the instructions for the Blue Streak after I asked her what english she was in next year because she stumbled over a few words "That's scarier than Bonesville." - Sara Kern upon seeing the "slave train" while waiting in line for the Millenium Force "I just got made fun of by Harry Potter." - Me after the guy that looked like Harry Potter working the Blue Streak made fun of my "Hey, I'm up here" shirt 8-17-01 "You've been on GHB for six years?!" - Julie Bejma after seeing Cassie's GHB impression "You're Korean. You have strong hands." - Ryan Delmotte as said to Dave Cushman "I used to do that with sparklers and then I would get pissed off when they would disappear." - Ryan Larson on writing your name with a flaming object after seeing Dave Cushman writing with a flaming stck "Badaczewski, dude, how long does it take you to void?" - Julie Bejma waiting for the bathroom "I'm sorry baby, you got someone on the log." - Julie Bejma as said to Danielle Forrest "Lawrence Avondale? Sounds like a flaming homo." - Me after saying Jacob's soap opera name (which is your middle name and your street name by the way) "I can't look at the second hand. It'll fuck me up." - Ryan Larson trying to read his watch in the dark "She's on drugs. My poor baby's pissin up a storm." - Julie Ziobro on her dog 8-21-01 "Yes it is! Sex is fucking great!" - Some Paul guy from the Leadership Safari (I'll look up his name later) 8-23-01 "I didn't know the doorframe was metal!" - My roommate trying to put up her beaded curtain 8-24-01 "Rich people really chap my ass." - Some dude from the thing we watched yesterday "Women are catty and bitchy." - Same dude "I'm strung tighter than a gnats ass on a steel drum." - Same guy "Is this Robinson?"....Yes it is...(with glazed over look)"Am I drunk?" - Some guy outside of my hall that asked me that trying to find his hall 8-25-01 "8:00 classes are gay." - Some guy in a presentation 8-28-01 "Two fisted!" - Some guy from my hall talking about drinking 4 beers at once 8-30-01 "Its not that hard! All you do is put your arms up." - Some guy at the football game on people's reluctancy to do the wave "(In singsong voice) Bull shit!" - Some guy behind me at the football game on the ref's call "Fuck you!" - Same guy as afore mentioned but to the ref "Elevator elevator we got the shaft." - Same guy as above 8-31-01 "Is this the varsity dance team?" - Kate Darga "This sucks. I could do that shit." - Danielle Forrest on the dance team "Put your wanger in your cup." - Ryan Delmotte "The pommies were hitting on me on the other side" - Ryan Delmotte "I did." - Mr. Sauer upon being asked why he was wearing a U of M shirt when he went to State "Did you get these from those Mexican people at Chaos?" - Ryan Delmotte asking Malisa Hinderliter where she got her really spicy peppers "Hold me. I don't like dogs." - Lane Marston as said to his GF Katie "Hey look at the tramp on the trampoline." - Lane Marston *In singsong voice* "I got a choda a choda." - Lane Marston carrying a log to throw in the fire in front of his pants "How many grams of fat are in a pretzel? I'm trying to watch my ass." - Lane Marston "Foursome!" - Lane Marston 9-1-01 "Did you have a Paul phase?" - Julie Bejma as said to Cassie Korte "Shit it expired." - Julie Bejma on her grape flavored condom "That's okay, grape's not my favorite flavor anyway." - Julie Bejma on the same condom "Fuck!? Oh, four hours a day." - Julie Bejma after hearing Emily Carter say she was going to be teaching 1st grade for a little bit each day "He's wiping his eye junk on you." - Julie Bejma as said to her mom about her little dog Buffy "You can hear weird shit down here." - Julie Bejma "You didn't know her nickname? Two Ton Terri?" - Julie Bejma as said to Julie Ziobro about someone "Little schuts?" - Nicole Badaczewski after hearing Bejma talk about some guy that liked her on 9th grade and his last name was Schut and he had little siblings "No, they got thrown out of Canada." - Julie Bejma on someone she knows 9-2-01 (I found the thing I wrote these on. I didn't leave it at Steve's like I thought I did.) "It looks like she hovered and her ass exploded." - Nicole Badaczewski on what we saw last year in the bathroom at Hart Plaza "It's the coming of the Apocolypse." - Jordan Ferraro...I don't remember what exactly was the coming of the apocolpyse though "Canada reeks beyond belief." - Jordan Ferraro "It doesn't work!" - Chris Schimers on his car "No its not! You're a moron! I'm sick of you!" - Lane Marston as said to Vince Trombly (Contributed by Jordan Ferraro) "Yeah. She's got more facial hair than Tommy." - Derek Parrott on some piano lady at the jazz fest "She's got a stash and a half." - Phil Johnson on the same piano lady "Well Paul, I guess I'll be going now." - Jordan Ferraro as said to Paul when Julie Ziobro showed up at Steve's "You know you're a band dork when your teacher comes to your parties." - Ryan Delmotte "If you get an ass whoopin, that's trouble." - Ryan Larson "No one woked up." - Paul Brodzik and his excellent speaking skills "I'll hit you in the.....*slight pause* Junk." - Paul Brodzik as said to Jordan Ferraro "Elbow drop you in the gonads." - Paul Brodzik as said to Jordan Ferraro once again "I don't even think he's in the box yet." - Jordan Ferraro on my brother after I said he's not the brightest crayon in the box "Smell the man, that's what Canada smells like." - Jordan Ferraro on Dave Angell "He smells like...Canada." - Jordan Ferraro on Dave Angell once again "I'm the camel expert here! I've ridden more camels than you've seen cars!" - Paul Brodzik "No you don't! Shut up!" - Paul Brodzik as said to Jordan Ferraro after Jordan said he had something "What's it gonna be called? 'This is What the Hell's Wrong With Me' by Tommy Braun?" - Jordan Ferraro as said to Tommy "She's a very delicate bitch." - Jordan Ferraro on his dog Dixie "Its because I'm a stupid high schooler." - Sara Kern after she spilled pop on Steve's counter "That's because people your age won't date you." - Jordan Ferraro as said to Julie Ziobro after she said she likes older guys "Sir, your fly's open. I'll have to confiscate you." - Paul Brodzik 9-3-01 "Tell him to change his rag and come on over." - My dad on a certain someone who didn't show up "Pearce Prosnan's head was just kind of rolling around." - Jacob Korte on a certain scene from Mars Attacks 9-8-01 "I get hot when I drink Mike's so when I drink Mike's I take my clothes off." - My roommate Amanda Tomlin 9-9-01 "I'm on medication." - Amanda Tomlin 9-11-01 "My fish isn't swimming anymore. Maybe its getting ready to die." - Amanda Tomlin on her new fish after her other two died on her 9-14-01 "He talks like a super preppy girl on weed." - Jordan Ferraro on someone in his health class "Dude look at the guy in the fuckin' leather pants!" - Ryan Larson while at the bowling alley "Renee can't go down here." - Renee Tarien after she went down the wrong way in the parking lot "If you stay around her too long you start to smell like her." - Renee Tarien on a certain someone (I'll give you a hint, "Where's my hug?") "You guys gotta get a fuckin life." - Ryan Larson as said to Nicole and I after we untied his shoes when they weren't on his feet "Ow that stung!" - Ryan Larson after being smacked in the ass "You got Jewed on that one." - Ryan Larson after I missed a strike by like one pin or something "That was a fuckin punt." - Ryan Larson after my bowling ball went flying when it got stuck on my thumb 9-17-01 "Guys don't have boobs." - Some Josh kid at dinner 9-18-01 "Your ass isn't bad, you skanky whore." - My roommate Mindy as said to Amanda about her wet jeans from the hot tub "I've got my ice cream and my pop, all I need is a cigarette." - My roommate Joelyn 9-22-01 "It's not the crap canal." - My mom during a discussion about beef tripe (cow intestine) "They'll let you in because you have titties and an ass, but they won't let me in because I have a cock." - Some guy on Main Street on a certain frat house that was turning people away because they had too many people 9-25-01 "We also have people who wanna have it, for sex." - Some Brent kid in my speech class on what type of person "Women's Day" appeals to 9-27-01 "I can throw up better colors than that." - Eric Anderson upon being showed the color of a Jeep by his friend Karl (Contributed by Mom) 9-29-01 "Jordan I hope you die and rot in Hell." - Shawn Crowl as said to Jordan Ferraro 9-30-01 "Did I give you a scholarship?"...yeah...."Why?" - Mr. Bianchi the WSU band director as said to a trumpet player (Contributed by Nicole Badaczewski) "Its like sitting on mashed potatoes." - Jacob Korte upon sitting on a feather couch in the furniture store (Contributed by Nicole Badaczewski) "Guys like it when you ambush them." - Me while reading an article in "Glamour" about what guys like during sex 10-3-01 "Did someone feed you something or what?" - My dad as said to my mom after she was acting hyper at festival "You don't fight during 'Maria'!" - Nicole Badaczewski while a school was playing "Maria" from West Side Story and their color guard was fighting 10-7-01 "Why was I baptized? Who knows?" - My dad after reading the headline from one of my brother's catechism papers 10-8-01 "You can sit in the line for a couple of fuckin' hours like everybody else! Damn bull shit. I hate this class!" - Ben the stoner kid in Nicole's Information Power class after he asked some girl why she got to leave class half an hour early [Delays going into/from Canada] (Contributed by Nicole Badaczewski) 10-9-01 "Wounded 30? Man, if I had an AK I'd be droppin kids all over the place." - Ben from Nicole's class after seeing a picture of a playground where this guy dressed in fatigues pulled out an AK 47 when there was about 400 kids on the playground. He killed 5, wounded 30, and then killed himself. [The group was working on a debate on why kids shouldn't be tried as adults] (Contributed by Nicole Badaczewski) 10-11-01 "You can't shoot monkeys!" - Some kid in my physics class on a projectile motion example that involved a monkey and a gun "The first thing I gotta do is aim the barrel at Osama." - Dr. Williams during a physics experiment similar to the example with the monkey and a gun, only with a BB and a picture of Osama bin Laden "I think alcohol killed my brain cells." - My roommate Amanda on why she has to read things more than once "It's an outreach program for dykes." - Joe the trumpet player from WSU's band on a coed music fraternity (Contributed by Nicole Badaczewski) 10-12-01 "Can I put my pants back on now?" - Matt Tanis my next door neighbor after he dressed up like a super hero for his Honors Colloquium skit "He looks like a raisin." - My mom on someone at the football game "They seemed cool enough, and quite interested in whorebait." - Derek Parrott on some guys he met on a plane "He scares me. He's like a walking hormone." - Derek Parrott on Tommy Braun 10-13-01 "Jeez, take a prick pill." - My mom on my brother after he said something really crabby 10-16-01 "I look like Melanie Glefke!" - Not at liberty to say "I forgot you shot rum out of your nose!" - My roommate Amanda 10-17-01 "Ahh... but if I said 'I love you Les Paul, please have my children' Then I'd be talking like Jordan." - Derek Parrott 10-19-01 "I'm glad he switched from white shoes to shoes with color." - Julie Bejma on a certain someone who shall remain nameless "Give it to Nicole!" - Cassie Korte upon hearing about my whip for my Halloween costume "Not a wood stick." - Danielle Forrest "Look at my ass! It's humongous!" - Julie Bejma 'Its hot'..."Gee, you're standing next to a fuckin fire." - Justin Strong's response to the brilliant observation made by some guy at Danielle's house "Is this a symbol?!" - Justin strong after being given a stick by the same guy in the aforementioned quote 10-20-01 "Jesus got more water than this!" - Dave Cushman on a drinking fountain in the middle school "She's got crabs." - Josh Lipka upon viewing a "Joe's Crab Shack" shirt "This kid's a pothead." - Josh Lipka on himself "No one can fuck up a sentence like I can." - Julie Bejma "Green shit is great!" - Julie Bejma on the pistachio salad "It says 'call receiving' asshole!" - Julie Bejma as said to Ryan Larson about his cell phone "I smell wood." - Me while walking in Bejma's garage "I'm gonna have a heart attack. I'm having a pain." - Julie Bejma "Did you just call me Monkey Shit?" - Paul Brodzik as said to Julie Bejma "What did you say? Squeak or lush?" - Julie Bejma "You suck the obvious?" - Danielle Forrest "I need to procreate. This needs to be passed along." - Paul Brodzik after he said something really stupid or funny "I was going for a Quote of the Day but you took it from me asslick." - Julie Bejma as said to Kate Darga "Eh where's my car?" - Kate Darga "He threw a chair at him." - Rachel Cheney on someone in calculus class "Sounds like Mrs. Rinke." - Julie Bejma after someone took a deep breath "This is what we call a crack swap." - Kate Darga while we were standing in Bejma's street 10-26-01 "Its the warmest thing in me right now." - Joe Kotermanski when I asked him why he didn't just go to the bathroom when he was doing the "pee dance" in front of the bleachers at the football game "I slept on the floor. What's that called? The 'Fall and Fuck?'" - Kate Darga upon hearing that a futon was called a "Flip and Fuck" "'Joe's Kidney' was a violent son of a bitch though." - Kate Darga on a movie we watched in Human phys. 10-27-01 "Anyone ever tell you you're a quick one?" - Derek Parrott as said to Danielle Forrest I believe "Guys don't have vaginas." - Amy Karpinski "My cafeteria encourages anorexia." - Paul Brodzik 10-29-01 "I get a hair molester, Lauren gets a real molester." - Cassie Korte 11-3-01 "That's a punk ass in the making." - Me upon seeing a kid at the bowling alley with baggy pants, a hoodie, spiked hair, and a visor "Who needs one big ball when you've got two big ones?" - Felix from the bike shop..he's Ryan's boss 11-5-01 "It helps if you turn on the printer before you print." - Nicole Badaczewski "It helps when you connect the damn printer to your computer too." - Nicole Badaczewski 11-9-01 "Peeness peeness peeness peeness peeness!!!" - My roommate Amanda having to go pee and not realizing what she was saying "Did you just say carrots were good for your ass?" - My roommate Amanda "Is it something you crap in?" - My roommate Amanda asking what a douche bag was 11-19-01 "Locomotive. That's a funny word." - Cassie Korte 12-6-01 "63 perthent." - Brent from speech class while giving his speech on single parent dating "I think he needs someone to share his feelings with." - Bret Wallin after Brent in the aforementioned quote jokingly left the room because he got teased by the instructor about his speech 12-7-01 "If your name is Rachel please go stand out in traffic until you get run over seven times." - Jude Pagel in his AIM away message on a girl he abhors "And they didn't even have the courtesy to put it on a stick." - Jude Pagel in response to Carly's observation that tonight's dinner was shit (Contributed by Jude) 12-8-01 "How the hell do you do that and not get arrested?!" - Derek Parrott upon hearing my story of the guys across the hall that peed on the pool table in the lobby 12-20-01 "Don't shoot yourself, shoot her." - My Dad on someone who I find annoying after I said I was going to shoot myself if that person got out of hand 12-21-01 "It's like the paper Martha Stewart uses." - Jacob Korte upon viewing the paper I wrapped Nicole's gift in "Sorry, its been a long day. I got up at like...2:30." - Julie Bejma after she stuttered or something..she meant 2:30 P.M. by the way "Thanks for ruining the party Rainbow Head." - Paul Brodzik as said to Julie Bejma "The steaming manhole covers stink." - Nicole Badaczewski on Wayne State "She eats?" - Danielle Forrest after hearing something about seeing Lauren Zacklan in a cafeteria at State "Yeah, that's cause you're bullimic." - Julie Ziobro on her roommate I believe "Well, they really don't know if its true or not, they just made it up for Jurassic Park." - Jacob Korte after I said something about not moving and maybe the person wouldn't see you like the T-Rex "Who's the girl with the rainbow head? I think she's mute." - Paul Brodzik after Bejma said she didn't talk at college "Ok, I'm going to the sod farm!" - Julie Bejma "You better watch your junk man, I'm going to hit it." - Julie Bejma as said to Paul Brodzik "The motor went out?" - Paul Brodzik on something I can't remember "Why? Do you wanna bone her?" - Julie Bejma as said to Paul Brodzik on some famous chick (I think it was Shakira) "That would suck if you cinged your pubes on that." - Danielle Forrest as said to Paul Brodzik after he tried to light a fireplace match on the zipper of his pants "Oh Italy. You can't do that in the sand." - Paul Brodzik on the ring game from Dave Shibley's grad party when I asked what country that was from (Italy or Lebanon)

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