Toxic
By: Coffee
Baby can't you
see
I'm callin
A guy like you
Should wear a
warning
It's dangerous
I'm fallin
"Come
on baby. Hook me up with the digits."
"Didn't
I say no? I could have sworn I said no," Kayte looked from the man, to her
friend Sarah, and back again.
"I
know that's what you said girl, but you know you want too."
Kayte
rolled her eyes and turned towards the bar, her back to him now.
"Come
on girl-."
"Man,
why don't you just leave her alone," a new voice entered the picture.
Kayte
didn't bother to turn around, but listened intently on their conversation.
"What?"
"I
said step off playa."
All
was silent for a moment, except for the pounding music coming from the club's
speakers. Then a man moved to stand next to her, leaning his forearm's on the
counter.
"I'm
sorry about that. Some brother's don't know when to back off know what I'm
saying?"
"Oh
I know what your saying."
"So
what's up Ma, you gonna let me buy you a drink?"
"That's
alright, I got it. Ladies drink free tonight."
"Well
you wanna hit the floor?" he did a little dance and she struggled to keep
from laughing in his face.
"That's
alright. I think I'll stick it out with my friend here," she nodded her
head to Sarah, who was busy trying to get rid of her own guy.
"Come
on, I got rid of that other guy for you. I think you owe me something," he
touched her hand and licked his lips.
"Well
I'll tell you what, why don't you go on down to Jack in the Box, tell 'em Kayte
sent you, and get yourself two tacos for 99 cents. I think that'll cover my
debt," she turned her back once again.
She
heard him tssk, call her a bitch, and stomp off to somewhere else in the club.
When the coast seemed clear enough, she turned to look out at the dancefloor,
her martini in hand. All she wanted was to go out with her bestfriend and have
a good time. Why did every guy in the place feel like he had to come talk to
her?
"Don't
look now," Sarah nudged her arm with her's, "But someone's got their
eye on you. 3 o'clock."
Kayte's
eyes wandered to her right and sure enough, there was a man staring back at
her. He was tall and thin, but that was all she could make out about him. He
was standing in a corner, the shadows masking his features.
"Can
we get outta here?" she asked.
"No,
I'm having fun," Sarah shook her head, "Besides, I wanna get a good
look at this guy."
Before Kayte could
ask what guy she felt a presense behind her. She turned, and immediately
scoffed. It was the guy from the corner.
"Look,
I'm not going to give you my number, I'm not going to dance with you, and I'm
not going back to your house with you so you might as well leave me
alone," she stated before he could say a thing.
"Jeez,
slow down Mami," he spoke, his voice smooth and alittle amused.
Kayte
sighed with irritation and gave him a look.
"Look,
I'm not going to ask you for your number, I suck at dancing, and I have no
interest in taking you home."
She
gave him a glare and Sarah stiffled a giggle.
"That
came out wrong," he laughed, "Listen I just wanted to talk to you. Is
that alright?"
Kayte
chewed on her bottom lip, thinking it over. Sarah gently elbowed her in the
back and gave her an eager smile. She turned back to the guy and nodded her
head alittle.
"Yeah,
I guess it's alright."
"Cool,"
he flashed her his pearly whites, "I'm Justin," he offered his hand.
She
offered him a small smirk.
"I'm
Kayte."
There's no
excape
I can't wait
I need a hit
Baby give me it
Your dangerous
I'm lovin it
"Hey,"
Kayte climbed into the car and leaned over to give him a kiss.
"How
was your day?" he asked pulling back out onto the street.
"Boring.
I had class and then I had class and then I had class. How about you? What'd
you do?"
"You
know me. A picture here, a thing there," he smiled at her, his blue eyes
twinkling, and she grinned back.
They'd
been together for a few months now. Justin had lied when he said that he didn't
want her number, but the fact that he didn't come up to her expecting the world
was impressive to Kayte. He took his time, got to know her, and became her
friend before he hinted that he wanted something else to happen.
Now,
almost eight months later she was happy as ever. She had finally found someone
who was more than a man, he was friend, a companion. Someone she could call
when she needed someone, and she someone she knew would call her when they were
in need. Kayte had fallen in love. She'd fallen completely head over heels in
love with him. She wanted to grow old with him, build a home with him, have a
child with him. A little boy with his bright eyes and unruly hair.
To high
Can't come down
Loosin my head
Spinning round
and round
Do you feel me
now?
"Justin,
what do you mean they didn't like the song?"
"I
mean they hated it. They thought it was shit."
Kayte
watched him walk past her and into the kitchen.
"But
you loved that song. You worked so hard on it."
"Doesn't
matter," he stomped over to the fridge and pulled out a beer.
"Well
you have to go back. You have to go back over there and explain it to them,
make them see what you see..."
"They
don't care what I see Kayte."
"...You
know you have a hit on your hands Justin. Your instincts are amazing. You just
have to explain it to them."
She
jumped when he slammed the door closed and turned to her eyes, his eyes dark
and dancing with anger.
"They
don't give a shit Kaytie! They couldn't care less about what I think or what I
see," he stood in her, pointing
his finger accusingly, "I hate to break it to you but things are just a
little more complicated in the real world than they are at UCLA. You can't just
go complain to someone and have them make it all better for you. You have no
idea what your talkin about so shut up and fucking drop it alright."
She
stood frozen until he walked away. Then she leaned back against the wall, her
mind blank. Why was he mad at her? Why was he screaming at her? She'd never
seen him so angry, so vengeful before. And all of it was directed at her. It
was scary. She couldn't help it when a tear came rolling down her cheek. She
couldn't stop it when it was followed by another, and then another, and
another. All she could do was wipe them away painfully and try to keep herself
from making too much noise.
Justin
was just outside the doorway when he heard her sniff. He stopped walking and
listened for the noise again. Finally he heard it, a little softer this time.
He turned back to look at her and his heart broke. She was leaning against the
wall by the door, her hands covering her face, her shoulders slumped. He rushed to her side, pulling her into his
arms.
"Shh
baby don't cry. Please don't cry. I'm sorry I yelled at you, I shouldn't of
done that. It's not you I'm pissed off at, it's them. I'm sorry," he
gently pulled her hands away and wiped the tears from under her eyes, "I'm
sorry."
Kayte
looked away, having said nothing and his hand moved to rub her cheek.
"I'm
sorry," he bent his knees a little, trying to look in her eyes, "Do
you forgive me?"
She
glanced at him, then focused on one of the buttons on his shirt.
"Baby
talk to me," his lips met her forehead and she closed her eyes at the
feeling.
Then
she felt his lips on her temple, her cheek, her jaw. His thumb smoothed over
her lip before he kissed her.
"Forgive
me?" he questioned again, "Please."
He
kissed her nose, then blew a raspberry on her forehead. She chuckled, allowing
the smallest smile to seep through.
"Are
you smiling? Smile for me?" he tapped her chin and she gave in, "You
know I love you. I didn't mean to hurt you," he slipped his arms around
her again.
"I'm
sorry. It'll never happen again, I promise."
Kayte
held onto him tight. He was sorry. He didn't mean it. He loved her, he said so.
He promised it would never happen again. Besides, it wasn't that big of a deal
right? He just got a little upset and instead of giving him his space she kept
talking. It was more her fault than it was his. He would learn to keep his
cool, and she would learn when to keep quiet.
He
pulled back a little, kissing her again and all of her previous anger and fear
slipped away.
With the taste
of your lips I'm on a ride
Your toxic I'm
slipping under
With the taste
of your poison paradise
I'm addicted to
you
Don't you know
that you're toxic?
And I love
whatcha do
Don't you know
that you're toxic?
"What
the hell did you think you were doing?"
"I
wasn't doing anything," Kayte rolled her eyes as Justin slammed the door
shut behind her and stormed past her into the house.
"Oh
please, you were all over him."
"No
I wasn't. Rodney's been my friend for years, he's like a brother to me.
Besides, we were only dancing."
"How
could you do this to me?!" he flung his jacket onto the sofa and turned
towards her.
"I
didn't do anything to you! I went out with my friend."
"You
were out there, practically having sex with him in the middle of the dance
floor, in front of everyone. You embarrassed me in front of my friends."
"Fuck
your friends."
He
moved to stand in front of her.
"Don't
you talk to me like that."
"I'll
talk to you however I want to talk to you. It's not my fault your acting like
some psychotic boyfriend. How dare you drag me outta there the way you did.
Your lucky I didn't-."
Her
voice stilled when the back of his hand came in contact with her face. Her head
whipped to the side and she raised a hand to her cheek as she slowly turned to
look at him. Her face was in complete shock. Kayte stood there, staring at him,
her eyes boring into his skin.
"What
the hell are you looking at?" he asked.
She
straightened her back, standing tall in front of him.
"I
used to think it was a man. Now I'm not so sure."
That
earned her another slap across the face. This time knocking her to the ground.
She looked up at him with startled eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but he
interrupted her.
"What?"
he scratched the back of his head, "You gonna leave me now?"
She
stood up, staring at him briefly before turning to the door. Yeah, she was
going to leave him now.
It's getting
late
To give you up
I took a sip
From my devil's
cup
Slowly it's
taking over me
She
barely took two steps before his arms shot out to wrap around her, pulling her
to her knees and holding her whether she wanted to be held or not. She struggled
against him, but his hold was unrelenting.
"Okay,
okay, I'm sorry. Baby you know I didn't mean it. I love you, I'd never do
anything to hurt you. You know me Kayte, I get upset and I lose my temper
and... and... I don't know what happens to me. But I didn't mean it, I didn't
mean to hit you. I just walked in there and saw you with that guy and something
came over me. You know how jealous I get sometimes, and he was all over you. I
just lost it, but it won't happen again. Don't leave me please."
Her
body stopped moving and she hung her head, trying not to let his words get to
her. But they had, the urgency in his voice, the way he held her almost too
tight, his soft kisses on her neck. God, she was such a sucker for him.
"Just,"
she said his name softly.
Her
fingers moved to rest on his forearms and her head lolled back. His hold
changed, he moved from restraining her to holding her.
"I'm
sorry," he whispered over and over, "I'm sorry."
To high
Can't come down
It's in the air
And it's all
around
Do you feel me
now?
"Open
the door! Open the damn door!"
Kayte
pulled her knees to her chest. Justin was pounding on the door so hard she was
worried it might fall off the hindges. Her phone was ringing over and over
again. She knew it was him on his cellphone. He was everywhere all at once and
it was driving her crazy. She closed her eyes, hoping it would go away. It
didn't.
"Kayte
baby please. Just open the door. Open the door!"
He
kicked it and she jumped. Why? Why was he doing this? Couldn't he take a hint?
She'd
left him a week before. He hit her again and she just couldn't take it. She
couldn't allow herself to be that kind of woman. The kind of woman her mother
was for her father. She was finally sobering up about their relationship and
his problem. She thought that she could change him. She thought he had changed.
But he hadn't, he was just full of lies and broken promises.
So
she left. She called him, told him it was over and that she never wanted to see
him again. Breaking away from him however, wasn't as easy as she thought it
would be.
She
missed him so much. She'd been in love with him and suddenly being without him
didn't seem right. Then there were the phone calls, the presents he'd leave on
the doorstep, the surprise visits to her school, and now tonight. He'd been out
there for at least an hour now, banging on all the doors and windows, screaming
her name.
"Kayte
open the door! You can't leave me, you can't just break up with me. I need you!
I love you! You know I love you. I know you love me Kaytie! I'm sorry. I'm so
sorry! Kayte!"
She'd
broken down a long time again, now she was just a pile of sobs and sniffles.
Why did he have to make is so hard? Didn't he realize that this hurt just as
much as every time he screamed at her? Everytime he hit her. She needed him so
much. She could run and run all she wanted, as fast as she wanted, but that
fact would always remain true. She loved him, she still wanted him, despite
everything.
His
screaming had lowered considerably, now only random shouts of apology and calls
for her. His pounding was now half-hearted slaps at the door. The phone had
stopped ringing.
She
stood slowly, wiping the tears from her eyes so she could see. Kayte stood on
her toes to look out the peephole. He was nowhere in sight. Slowly she pulled
open the door, and there he was, on his knees, cellphone in his limp hand. His
head was hung low, but he was crying, she could tell. She'd never seen a man
cry before. It pulled at her heart.
"Kayte,"
he said her name softly, not looking up to meet her eyes.
She
didn't say a word, but stepped out on to the porch. She was hesitant a moment,
watching his body shake with sobs. Then her hand reached out, running over his
head. His arms wrapped around her hips as he buried his face in her tummy.
"Kaytie,"
he cried into her shirt.
"It's
okay," she said, her hand continuing to run through his hair, her eyes
looking up at the star filled sky, "It's okay."
With the taste
of your lips im on a ride
Your toxic I'm
slipping under
With the taste
of your poison paradise
I'm addicted to
you
Don't you know
that you're toxic?
And I love
whatcha do
Don't you know
that you're toxic?
Don't you know
that you're toxic?
Toxic By:
Britney Spears
The End
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