Open Your Heart

By:  Lara

 

“Justin?  Justin!”  Chris came barreling down the aisle of the bus from the bunks towards the front.  “Where are you?”  He swiped the curtain of Justin’s bunk aside and saw it was empty.  “Where is he?”  JC mutely pointed to the second bus that was pulling out ahead of them.  The crew bus.  “What the hell?”  Chris said.  “Why’s he going on that one?  I need to talk to him.  Stop the bus!” Chris yelled dramatically.

“What now?”  The driver demanded, slowing down.

“I need to get on that bus.  Can you radio him?”

“Sure,” the driver sighed, used to Chris’ odd requests.  The busses stopped and Chris jumped off, running over to the other bus.  His dark eyes searched the bus and one of the crewmembers jerked a thumb towards the back.

“He’s in one of the bunks back there.”

Chris tore through the bus.  It was a nice bus, but nothing like the one the guys traveled on.  He swiped curtains aside, then froze as he saw an electrical cord running from the wall into the very last bottom bunk.  He swiped that curtain aside with a flourish.  “A-HA!”

“Chris, what the hell?”  Justin grumbled, pulling the curtain closed.  Chris opened it again.  He stared down at the laptop in front of Justin.

“God, you are ALWAYS in front of that thing,” Chris said with a sigh.

“It’s my downtime; I’ll do what I want with it,” Justin said almost angrily.  “What do you want?  Aren’t you supposed to be on the OTHER bus?”

“I needed to talk to you.”  Chris flopped down onto the floor.  Justin sighed and turned the computer away from Chris.

“What?”

“Remember that girl that your cousin knew?  Shawn or whatever the hell her name was?”

“You ran all the way over here for that?”

“I want her number.  Even if you have to give me your cousin’s number or something.  I want to talk to this girl again!”  Chris was almost bouncing up and down.

“I am NOT giving you Maggie’s number so you can annoy her the way you annoy us,” Justin said.  “Besides, I don’t think Shawn was all that interested in you.  She was looking at Lance,” Justin pointed out, trying not to smile.

“Lance Shmance.  She wanted me.”

Justin laughed out loud at Chris’ cocky attitude.  “You didn’t really come over here to ask this stuff, did you.”

“Not really.” Chris grew serious, at least as serious as Chris could get.  “Justin, you are ALWAYS on that laptop.  Three months ago you wouldn’t have even opened the damn thing except to check emails from your mom.  Now we can’t get you away from it.  And then you always run and hide with it like you’re ashamed or something.”

“I’m not ashamed of anything,” Justin said quickly.  “I like going online…is that a crime?”

“Are you hitting porno sites?” Chris asked interestedly. “If you are, tell me which ones.  Joey is always looking for new ones to check out.”

“Sure…JOEY wants new ones,” Justin teased.  “No, it’s not porno sites.”

“Can I at least TELL the guys you’re hitting porno sites?  Maybe they’ll quit worrying about you then.” Chris regretted the words the instant they left his mouth.  Justin frowned.

“They’re worrying?”

“Well, you’re just not as social as you were.  You used to go out all the time, now you just sit in your hotel room.”

“Maybe I’m growing up.”  Justin turned back to his computer.  “It’s something you should look into.”

“Screw you,” Chris said affectionately.  He knew the conversation was over, and he stood.  “We’re stopping at a nice twenty-four hour place for dinner around three am.  Will you at least eat with us?”

“I promise,” Justin said solemnly.  “Now, will you go?”

“I can’t,” Chris said cheerfully.  “We’re on the highway.  You’re stuck with me now.”  Justin glared at him.  “But I think I’ll go up front and join that poker game.  Later.”

Justin sighed with relief as Chris bounced back to the front of the bus.  He signed onto the Internet and went to his Hotmail account.  He typed in his password and immediately went to Yahoo Instant Messenger.  He smiled when he saw his buddy list. Good.  She was on.

CURLYJ:  Hey girl…it’s me.

STRIPES:  Hey…where were you?
CURLYJ:  At work.  It sucks sometimes.  I have the worst hours.  How have you been?

STRIPES:  Busy at work myself.  Getting ready to send the new stuff to the publisher.

CURLYJ:  I don’t know why you won’t send me what you write.  I’d love to read it.

STRIPES:  You would laugh your ass off at what I write, Curly.  But for all I know you may have already read it!  You said you travel, right?  Well, I’m in all the airports.

CURLYJ:  Well, the next airport I’m in, I’m buying every book in the place.

STRIPES:  LMAO!  You are too much!

CURLYJ:  A gift I have…

STRIPES:  How’s everything else?  Been home lately? 

CURLYJ:  Nah…here and there…heading for the East Coast as we speak.

STRIPES:  Cool…

CURLYJ:  Whatcha listening too?
STRIPES:  LOL…most guys want to know what a girl is wearing, you want to know what she’s listening to.  Okay…five CDs in…Backstreet Boys Millennium, NSYNC No Strings Attached, Harry Connick, Jr. Come By Me, Santana Supernatural and Britney Spears Oops…

CURLYJ:  Britney…she’s cute

STRIPES:  Figures.

CURLYJ:  She is!  Not my fault I’m a typical man and she makes my hormones boil over.

STRIPES:  Boil your hormones somewhere else, young man.

CURLYJ:  Jealous much?  I mean, I could go into your whole Nick Carter thing…

STRIPES:  -blush- Stop it.  It’s not my fault he’s beautiful.

CURLYJ:  Yeah…whatever…still got it bad for Lance Bass?

STRIPES:  Nah…I think that’s slowly fading away.  He’d never give me the time of day.

CURLYJ:  He would.

STRIPES:  No, he wouldn’t

CURLYJ:  Trust me, girlie, he would.  Hey, unfortunately I need to hit the hay.  I’m wiped out.

STRIPES:  No problem…talk to you later?

CURLYJ:  Tomorrow.  Promise.  Luv ya.

STRIPES:  Back at ya, Curly.

 

Justin sighed as he closed the laptop.  He put it under the bunk and lay on his back, placing his hands beneath his curly hair.  He had been chatting with this girl for almost five months now, and she refused to tell him anything more than that she lived in the eastern part of the country and worked as a writer.  She was a published novelist, but wouldn’t say what she wrote.  He had run into her on a music mailing list, and he had to chuckle when he found out that she was deeply in lust with Lance, as well as Nick Carter from the Backstreet Boys.  She had no idea who he was, either.  All she knew was that he was nineteen and that he traveled for a living. 

He liked talking to her.  It was just another person, like he was talking to a normal friend or something.  No screaming, no asking for handouts, nothing but nice conversation.  They yelled, they fought, they made up, they made each other laugh…and it was all without ever seeing the other person’s face.

Justin’s eyes slowly closed and he drifted to sleep as he often did: wondering what this girl looked like.

“Justin…yo…Brillo…wake up.” Chris shook Justin by the shoulder.

“I’m up, ya weirdo.  I’m up.” Justin’s blue eyes fluttered open.

“It’s two forty-five.  We’re pulling into that diner now.”

“Cool.  I’ll be out in a minute.”  Chris returned to the front of the bus.  Justin stretched and slowly stood up.  He went back to the sink and splashed water on his face.  He made his way up front just as the bus pulled to a stop.

The group and their crew wearily made their way into the restaurant.  They usually didn’t stop like this but it was a nice way to get to eat unnoticed.  Not too many of their fans were in restaurants at three in the morning.

“Coffee…coffee…” JC mumbled as he made his way to the bathroom.  The five group members sat at a table while their crew scattered around the dining room. 

“So…” Joey shoved a piece of paper and a pen in front of Justin.  “What are those website addresses?”  He looked at Justin expectantly and Justin laughed.  He couldn’t help it.

“You really told him that?”

“Sure.  Called on my cellphone after I left you.”  Chris smirked at Justin, wondering how he was gonna get out of this one.

“Here.” Justin jotted down an address and pushed the paper to Joey.  Lance read it over Joey’s shoulder and laughed.  “Lots of hotties at that page.”

“Where?” Chris asked eagerly.

“It says www.chriskirkpatrick.com,” Joey said, confused.

“Dumbass,” Chris sulked, playing with his fork.  JC returned to the table and the waitress took their orders.

“Okay…question…we have five days free in the middle of all this bullshit promo stuff,” JC began.  “What are we doing?”

“Going home,” Lance said immediately.

“Oh, like THAT’S a surprise,” Joey said teasingly.  “I’m hitting NYC.  I need to see my boys!”

“You can take the man out of New York, but never New York out of the man,” Chris said with a smile.  Joey punched him.  “I’m gonna visit some relatives in Pennsylvania.  We’re up there, I mean, we’re never this close.”

“You guys aren’t going home?” Lance was surprised.  He couldn’t imagine not going home during any kind of break.

“By the time we got there, we’d have like two days to enjoy it and then it would practically be time to come back,” Chris pointed out.  He looked at JC.

“Florida…sorry…” he said apologetically.  “I have some things to do down there.”

“Some things like Keri, you mean,” Justin said with a smile.  JC blushed.

“What about you, Justin?”  Chris asked.  Justin stirred his coffee.

“Oh, I don’t know.  I don’t really feel like going home, but I have nothing else to do.”

“Come with me,” Chris said suddenly.  “Western Pennsylvania is beautiful in the winter…lots of snow…lots of mountains…it will be nice and we won’t have far to go.  Our next stop is like Boston or something.”

“I won’t be intruding?”

“Of course not.  I’d love to have you along,” Chris said generously.  “But you can’t bring the laptop.”

“Fuck you,” Justin snapped and stomped off to the bathroom.

“Um…what was that?”  Lance asked.

“I brought up the whole Internet thing…he brushed me off.  Said he just likes to surf the net,” Chris said, smiling as the waitress brought his huge stack of pancakes.

“Leave him alone you guys,” Joey said suddenly, and they stared at him.  “What?  He’s nineteen. If he wants to surf the net, he can surf the net. He can’t go out to the places we go lots of times, so it probably helps to pass the time.  Let him alone.”

“Okay, Joe, sorry,” Chris said apologetically. It wasn’t often that Joey spoke up like this.  When Justin came back to the table, Chris apologized to him as well.

“It’s okay, Chris.  I didn’t mean to piss off at you.  I just need a vacation.”  Justin put a fork into his cheese omelet and took a bite, but he suddenly wasn’t very hungry.

“Come on.  Go IN!”  Lara ordered the package as she shoved it into her backpack.  The sides of the backpack finally gave and the bulky package slid inside.  She blew upward, trying to get her bangs out of her eyes.  “Okay, then.” 

She started to pull on her outdoor clothing, struggling with the long underwear and then cursing as she broke a lace of her boots.  She cursed her publisher as well as she tried to pull on two pair of gloves.  She sent every chapter over the Internet, but Melissa still insisted on having the chapters on paper as well.  The book was finished, and this was the hard copy.  Lara was just happy that it was finished at the same time she needed to go into town for supplies. 

Lara crunched through the snow towards the shed, taking a deep breath of the crisp air.  She carefully checked the snowmobile to make sure everything was in working order, then slung the backpack onto her back. There was ample storage space in the back of the snowmobile, but the package was so dear to her that she wanted it close to her at all times.  Writing was her heart and soul, and she hated even sending it out to people.  She knew people loved her work, she got email messages and such all the time, but it was still intensely personal…ever since…

Lara shook that thought out of her head and climbed onto the snowmobile.  No sad thoughts.  Those days were done.

 

“Morning, Lara,” Mr. Keefe, the owner of the market, smiled at Lara as she trudged in.  “Another package to mail?  Already?”  He knew that she mailed things out on a regular basis, but never asked what they were.  Lara was closer to him then any other human being on the planet, not that it said very much.  She shyly smiled at him.

“Yes, sir.  I need supplies, too.” 

“The usual?”  She nodded.  “And you want this sent overnight?”  She nodded again.  “Okay…amuse yourself.  This won’t take but a minute.” 

Lara unwrapped her scarf and placed it in front of Mr. Keefe’s small woodstove along with her hat and gloves.  She headed for the small section of paperback books and her eyes eagerly searched the shelves.  She smiled.  All of hers, as usual.  She had asked Mr. Keefe nonchalantly one day why he carried them all, and he blamed it on his wife, saying that this Katherine Morgan lady was his wife’s favorite author, and that he would definitely come home to an abandoned house one night if he didn’t carry every single book.

“What happened to you?”  Lara whirled around to see a small girl of about six standing behind her.  “Why’s your face like that?”

“Carol!”  A woman grabbed the child by the hand and tried not to stare as well.  “I’m sorry…she’s so outspoken…I…”

“It’s okay,” Lara whispered, slowly turning back around to the shelves.  A tear quivered but she caught it just in time.

“But Mommy, I wanna know why she has them marks on her face!”  The child wailed as her mother dragged her away.

“Here ya go, Lara,” Mr. Keefe called, and Lara hurried to the counter, making sure to keep her face down.  “Ya know, we have quite a nice room on the back of our place.  You’d be near people in case something happened, instead of all those miles up in the middle of nowhere.”

Lara smiled.  They had this conversation like clockwork once a month.  “Thank you, Mr. Keefe, but I like the middle of nowhere.  How much do I owe you?”  He named a price and she handed over the cash. 

“Need help loading up?” 

Lara shook her head.  “I can manage.  Thanks again.  See you soon.”  She grabbed the boxes of supplies and headed back out front.

“See, there she is!”  The little girl was out front with a boy who was slightly older.  “Told ya?”

“Carol, hush!”  The boy said, but he was unable to keep from staring.  Lara jammed her hat down on her head, wove the scarf around her face, and zoomed out of the town.

 

Later, once everything was unpacked, Lara sat in front of a roaring fire, staring at the flickering flames.  She reached a hand up to gently touch one smooth cheek.  The hand shook as she went to the other cheek, her fingers tracing the marks she knew so well.  Seven long red welts, running from just below her eyes to just above her chin.  Marks that had dug so deep that she had needed stitches to make them heal.  Marks created by a key ripping down her face…created by a man she had once worshipped.  She sighed, ignoring the tears that fell.  It had been two years, yet it was as if it was yesterday.

She stood, determined not to think about David.  If she thought about him, then she would be miserable for days.  She strode over to the computer and turned it on, ready to write.  She lived in a very basic cabin in the middle of nowhere, but she was miraculously able to get power and a phone line connected.  She didn’t have a telephone; she carried a state of the art cellular phone for emergencies.  She DID, however, have a connection to the Internet, and that’s what kept her in contact with the outside world.  She had a stereo, could get in some faint radio stations, but she counted on the people she met online to keep her grounded and connected.  She smiled as she saw the little envelope in the corner of the monitor, signifying that she had email.  She clicked on the icon.

Hey, girl…you weren’t on today.  Where were you?  I’m almost home, if you want to call it that. I’m visiting the family of a friend for five days; I have a little vacation but I don’t feel like going home.  Anyway, I’m told they have a computer and that I can still get in touch with you.  Look for me.  Lovies, Curly.”

Two Days Later

 

“Aw, man, Chris, you were right.  This is gorgeous.”  Justin took a deep breath of mountain air and promptly coughed.  Chris’ Aunt Lynne laughed.

“Used to that fabricated city air, are you?  We’ll have that fixed in a jiffy.”  She led the way into the small but comfortable house she lived in with Chris’ Uncle Steven.

“I really appreciate this, ma’am.  This seems like a wonderful place to spend a vacation, but I still feel like I’m intruding,” Justin said as she led them to their rooms.

“First of all, I’m no ma’am, I’m Aunt Lynne.  Secondly, you are no intrusion.  We’ll put you to work somehow,” she said with a smile.  “Well, here you go.  I’ll let you get settled in.  Bathroom’s down the hall.” She returned to making dinner.  Justin smiled at Chris.

“I see where you get that spunk.  She is spunk personified.”

“She’s great, isn’t she?  I don’t know her all that well; we never visited all that much.  I’ve tried to get back here more and more, though some people make it difficult.”  Chris made a face.  Justin knew he was talking about all the friends that had scorned him as a poor youngster, but were now acting like Chris’ best friends.  He had a lot of those himself.  “Anyway, she said dinner will be in like fifteen minutes so we’d better wash up.”  Chris whistled as he went down the hall.

Justin sighed as he set his two suitcases, two duffel bags and backpack on the bed.  Aunt Lynne had laughed at all his bags.  He liked the simple life, but there were still some things that Justin could not do without.  He immediately went over to the phone and hooked the line into his laptop.  When Chris was hugging his uncle, Justin had asked Aunt Lynne if it would be okay to hook up his computer and she said yes, as long as he wasn’t tying up the phone line all day and night.  Justin had promised to only go on after nine o’clock, but he had to send this one email.

Hey girl…I’m here at my friend’s aunt and uncle’s house.  It’s beautiful.  This is some country out here.  Nothing but snow and mountains. 

How did your publisher like the book?  I’m sure she loved it.  Have my fingers crossed for you.  Still hope that you’ll let me read something someday.

I won’t be on much during the day, but I will be online every night after nine.  I just talked to you on IM a few days back, but I miss you, girlie.  Talk to you soon, Curly.

Justin stared at the words he had just written.  It was absolutely true.  He really missed talking to the person who he knew so well, but who still felt like a stranger.

 

“…tell me why I can’t be there where you are…there’s something missing in my heart…there’s nowhere to run I have no place to go…surrender my heart, body and soul…” Lara sang along with the CD player as she loaded clothes in the washer.  “You sing it, Howie baby,” she said, then laughed at herself.  Living with only some fish to comfort her, she often talked to herself out loud. It was the only way to keep her sanity.

“Am I losing it, Gene?  Am I, Carter?”  Lara peered into the fish tank where three bright yellow fish played fishy games.  Blond fish.  Nickolas, Gene and Carter.  “Have I finally gone over the edge?”  They ignored her and continued their game of aqua tag.  “I thought so.”  She plopped down in front of the computer and turned it on.  She smiled as she read Curly’s email.  He sounded like he was glad to have a vacation.  She glanced at the clock on the monitor.  Six-thirty.  She made a mental note to be online by nine, and turned off her Internet connection. 

Lara stared at the screen in front of her.  Time for a new novel.  What else was there, though?  Lately she was feeling so lost, like there was no more inspiration inside of her.  She felt fortunate to have even finished the last book.  She wrote mostly romances, from historical to modern, yet she felt no kinship to any of her characters.  When someone hurt or abused the heroine, then yes, she could appreciate it. 

Lara stood and slowly walked to the bookcase.  Against her better judgement she pulled out a large photo album and went to sit on the sofa.  She opened to about the tenth page.  Smiling up at her was a picture of herself tightly pressed against a larger man.  Dark brown hair framed a round face with sharp blue eyes.  She was looking up at him adoringly, but he was smirking for the camera.  David.  She shivered at the thought of those hands on her…and the memory of their hatred made her actually continue to shake.  She slammed the photo album shut and crawled into a corner of the sofa.  She held a cushion tight against her chest and closed her eyes.

 

Lara’s eyes fluttered open hours later and she glanced at the clock.  Shit.  Nine-twenty.  She jumped up and ran to the computer, ignoring the grumblings of her empty stomach.  Thank goodness. She hadn’t missed him.

 

CURLYJ:  Girlie!  I’ve been looking for you!

STRIPES:  I’m sorry, J…I fell asleep on the sofa.  Thinking too much.

CURLYJ:  Okay…what kind of day were you having?

STRIPES:  B+, until I opened up some old memories that I had nailed tightly shut.

CURLYJ:  Girl, we discussed this.  You know better then that.

STRIPES:  sigh…yes, I know.  I couldn’t help it this time.  I was lonely.

CURLYJ:  -big hug- Sorry baby.

STRIPES:  It’s okay…so, how’s your vacation.

CURLYJ:  Wonderful.  Today I worked in the woods clearing out trees.  I haven’t done work like that in ages.  I am one big ache, but I loved it. Pennsylvania is beautiful.

STRIPES:  Pennsylvania?  You’re in Pennsylvania?

CURLYJ:  Yeah, why?  You live in PA?

STRIPES:  The Fifth.  Pleading the Fifth.

CURLYJ:  Yeah, right.  Sorry…shoulda known better then to ask you that.

STRIPES:  This is the Internet, Curly.  Think I’m gonna just open my life to every Tom, Dick and Curly who asks?

CURLYJ:  Bitter much? Excuse the hell out of me for asking.  Look…I’ve had a rough day.  I don’t want to fight.  I’ll talk to you tomorrow.  Bye.

STRIPES:  Curly, wait!

CURLYJ has signed off.

 

“Shit!”  Lara swore, pushing her chair back angrily. Why had she gotten so defensive?  She could have just said she didn’t want to answer that and moved on.  Dammit.  The little envelope popped up and she jumped.  She quickly opened the email.

Stripes…sorry I pissed you off and that I got pissed off as well.  I just…I don’t know…I’m so eager to know more about someone who has become such a good friend to me.  I mean, couldn’t I even know your real name, or get a physical description of you?  I’d love to put a mental picture to the wonderful personality.  If not, that’s cool.  I am really tired though…wasn’t a lie.  Wish me sweet dreams, okay?  Yours, Curly.”

Lara sighed as she deleted his email.  There was no way she was giving him any information about her. She couldn’t take the risk.  She turned off the computer and went back to take a long bubble bath.

 

Justin yawned as he got up and padded over to the tiny desk in his bedroom.  It was six-thirty in the morning…and he was awake.  Work around the house started at seven, and even though he was a guest and not expected to wake with the birds he did anyway.  He wanted to pull his load, and he was enjoying it.

He sat down behind the desk and turned on his laptop.  He knew no one was using the phone this early, so he didn’t feel guilty going online.  Out of habit he flipped over to Instant Messenger.  To his surprise he saw that his friend was online.

 

CURLYJ:  Stripes?  What the hell are you doing up so early?

STRIPES:  I should be asking you the same thing, Paul Bunyan.  

CURLYJ:  Ha ha very funny.  If you could see me, you’d do me in an instant.  Muscles bulging out all over.

STRIPES:  And an ego to go with it.  How cute. 

CURLYJ:  Very funny.  Why ARE you up so early?

STRIPES:  Bad night last night.  Been awake since five.

CURLYJ:  Sorry honey. I only have a minute but I wanted to email you.  Make sure you weren’t still pissed at me.

STRIPES:  I never was, Curly.  Just defensive…and I apologize.

CURLYJ:  Not necessary.  Well, the sun looks like it might make an appearance soon, so I gotta go.  Off to tame the wild forest.

STRIPES:  Or something.  Are you sure you know which end of an axe is up?

CURLYJ:  Are you saying I don’t know my axe from a hole in the ground.

STRIPES:  ROTFLMAO.  You are too cute.  Have a good day.

CURLYJ:  You too…and smile for me, baby, okay?

STRIPES:  I’ll try.  Later.

Justin smiled as he logged off.  He went whistling down the hall to the shower, banging hard on Chris’ door as he passed by.

 

Fifteen minutes later he was at the table ready for the huge breakfasts that Chris’ Aunt Lynne loved to make for everyone.  He knew he’d have to dance his ass off in rehearsal to get rid of all the weight he’d gain from her excellent cooking.

“I can’t run that package out to Carson’s today,” Uncle Steven said to his wife as Chris sleepily made his way into the kitchen.  “Too much to do out in the back.”

“She was counting on it…and Sharon is expecting me to watch her baby for her today,” Lynne replied, her face falling.

“What’s going on?”  Justin asked.

“We make up a basket of food for a less fortunate family about ten miles over,” Lynne told him, flopping a giant waffle onto his plate.  “Every week we take turns, the families in the neighborhood, and this week is our turn.”

“That’s really nice,” Justin said with a smile.  Chris made a snorting noise and reached for the coffee.  Justin glared at him, knowing that Chris was trying to ignore the memories of the poverty he had once experienced in that very neighborhood.

“They’ll just have to do without until tomorrow,” Steven decided, though it was obvious that he didn’t like the idea.

“I’ll drive out,” Justin said suddenly, and Chris dropped his fork. Curly Timberlake, teen idol, carrying food to the poor?  “I mean, I know nothing about hard labor, so it would be easier for you to spare me than Chris.”  He looked over at Lynne.  “Is it hard to find?”

“Well…no…off the beaten path, but only by a few miles.  You’d take the main road until their property,” she said, though she sounded worried.  “I guess you could find it.  No signs though…just follow the tire tracks in the snow until the place I’ll tell you.”

“You mind?”  Justin asked Chris.

“Of course not,” Chris said quickly, glad that Aunt Lynne hadn’t asked him.  He was not ready to face the memories of being poor, even after all these years.  “I’ll do your share of the work.”

“Okay, then,” Justin said, feeling useful for the first time in a long while.

“You’re a good boy,” Aunt Lynne said, giving him a smacking kiss on the forehead.  Justin smiled, feeling about six years old.

 

“So just follow the way I’ve written it and you should be fine.”  Lynne looked up at the sky as Justin climbed into their truck.  She put a hand above her eyes as she stared at the sky.  “Calling for snow today…but not until later.  And this truck can handle it.”

“I’ll be fine.  See you later.”  Justin climbed up into the truck and began to bounce down the bumpy road.

 

Lara dumped the last piece of firewood into the fireplace and soon had the fire roaring merrily.  “Okay, then.” She walked over to her backpack.  “Paper? Check.  Pencils?  Check.  Water?  Check.  Granola bars?  Shit.”  She went over to the cupboard and looked.  Nope, no granola bars.  She smiled as she looked at the shelf.  She had grabbed the box from the bag Mr. Keefe had packed, assuming it was granola bars.  It was candy bars.  She tried to eat healthy; not a trustworthy dentist for miles.  He was always packing little treats for her, however, and this was one of them.  She grabbed a Snickers and shoved it in the backpack. 

Lara took a deep breath as she walked out of the cabin.  Time to get some inspiration.  Whenever she hit severe writer’s block, she went out into the wilderness and sat.  Sooner or later something would come to her.  She stared at the sky.  The radio said snow was predicted, but she never went far.  She hopped onto the snowmobile and zoomed out into the morning.

 

“Hey.  Where is that boy?”  Uncle Steven came around the corner of the house carrying a large can.

“He left for Carson’s.  Why?”  Aunt Lynne asked as Chris joined them. Steven frowned.

“Only a few gallons of gas left in the truck.  I was gonna fill it.”  Chris’ mouth fell open as Aunt Lynne gasped.  “Oh, no worries.  I’m sure Carson’s have an emergency tank.  They can spare him enough to get home.”

 

“Okay…there is supposed to be a fallen tree here somewhere…fallen tree…hello…where are you?”  Justin asked nature as he slowly made it around a turn.  “Hello where…oh…shit…” Justin groaned as he saw snowflakes begin to fall.  “No worries…I’ll make it there…no problem.  Has to be just a few feet further down the…” Justin stopped talking to himself as the flurries changed to full snowflakes, and the road in front of him started to vanish.  “Okay, not a problem. I’ll just turn around and…” he was interrupted again by the sputtering of the engine.  Soon the truck puttered to a stop. He climbed out of the truck and looked around.

“So this is what they mean by the middle of nowhere.  THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE!” He screamed, hearing his voice echo in the stillness.  He glanced around him, turning in circles.  Nothing.  He saw nothing.  He saw…smoke…from a chimney…it looked to be about three miles east of him.  “Okay…stay or go…stay or go…why didn’t I ever join the Boy Scouts.  Boy Scouts would know what to do.”  He wildly looked around for Boy Scouts.  “Shit…never around when you need one.”  He sighed and went back into the truck to find supplies. He buttoned up his winter coat, noticing for the first time that it was made for appearance, not durability.  He found an old hat in the back and jammed it down on his head, and he smiled grimly as he found a second pair of gloves as well.  He hesitated, then dug through the basket for the Carson’s, pulling out some crackers and a candy bar.  He shoved them in the pockets of his coat and started to walk towards the smoke.

 

“Brrrr…sing…I could s-s-sing,” Justin said to himself an hour later.  Trudging through the often knee-deep snow was not as easy as he had thought it would be, and the smoke seemed to get farther away instead of closer.  He wanted to do something to keep his face from freezing. The sudden snow stung his cheeks and he could feel his teeth chattering.  “Sing, T-T-Timberlake,” he chattered.  “Um…All you people can’t you see can’t you see…AHH!”  He yelled.  “All the songs in the world and I sing Backstreet Boys?  I must be delirious!”  Justin laughed at the oddity of his situation but continued to walk.  “Okay…um…” Justin was so busy racking his brain for a song that he didn’t notice the large pile of branches in front of him until he was falling over them.

“SHIT! Oh GOD…oh my fucking GOD!” He yelled, rolling on the ground as he held his ankle.  His left ankle had caught in-between some of the branches, and he was experiencing the worst pain he could ever remember.  “Oh…shit…oh God…” he stopped rolling and glared up at the sky as snowflakes continued to fall.  “I’m screwed…I’m so screwed…” he said, shivering a bit.  He closed his eyes for one moment, then realized how nice that felt.  “Five minutes…just five and then I’ll crawl,” he said tiredly, closing his eyes for a bit longer.

 

“Figures.  Every time I finally get on a roll, something like this happens,” Lara grumbled, glaring up at the ever-darkening sky.  By the time she was packed and back on the snowmobile, the snow was coming down full force.  She started the engine and carefully made her way back to the cabin.

About a mile down the path, she stopped short.  The quickest way back to the cabin was up the gradual incline in front of her, but she knew from experience that it was very treacherous while snow was falling.  Lara sighed and turned towards the wide flat fields on her left.  It was about four miles out of her way, but much safer.

Lara would never know what made her glance down at the pile of branches as she sped by.  She DID glance down, however, and was shocked to see an obviously human hand wearing dirty work gloves.  She gasped and braked so hard she almost flipped over. She waded through the snow and fell to her knees by the hand.  She brushed snow from the arm until she reached the neck.  Lara yanked off her glove and felt for a pulse.  It was weak, but it was there.  She quickly brushed off the rest of the snow and dragged the body towards the snowmobile.  The person was thin, but all the winter clothing made the body heavy. 

When she reached the snowmobile, Lara stared at it, wondering how in the world she was going to get them both back to the cabin.  It took almost twenty minutes, but she finally got the person onto the vehicle.  She leaned the body forward over the dash, then slowly inched her way in front of it.  She draped the arms around her waist, taking the full weight of the body onto her back.  She brought the snowmobile to life and slowly made her way home.

 

Lara deposited the person on her sofa, panting for breath.  She peeled off her clothing and hurriedly changed into a sports bra and shorts as sweat rolled off her forehead.  She made sure the fire was well fed then turned to the person on the sofa.

She carefully unwrapped the scarf from the face and pulled off the hat.  It was a young man, his head framed by light brown curls.  He looked familiar, but she didn’t waste time worrying about it.  His clothing was soaked.

She yanked off his coat and the two shirts below.  His boots were crusted with snow, but she finally tugged them off.  When she peeled off the two pair of socks, she was thankful not to see the black skin of frostbite, but gasped at the size of his swollen left ankle.  It looked as if there was an Easter egg under the skin.  She carefully pulled off his jeans, then stared at his damp long underwear.  Lara pulled a blanket out of the closet and draped it over his body, then tugged off the long underwear.  She just as modestly pulled a pair of her sweatpants over his slender frame, then set to taking care of the ankle.  She placed a bag of snow on it for a while, then wrapped it carefully with bandages from her First Aid kit.

Lara made sure he was warmly covered and comfortably settled in front of the fire, then went to turn on her CD player.  She sat down in front of her computer.  As “It Makes Me Ill” poured through the stereo, she stood straight up.  She flew to her CD rack and grabbed the case to “No Strings Attached” by NSYNC.  She flipped it open and pulled out the cover.  She stared at the picture in front of her, then at the sleeping form on her sofa. The person she had just undressed was none other than Justin Timberlake from NSYNC.

 

“Oh my God,” Lara whispered, staring at the figure on her sofa.  The stare soon turned to a glare as she realized that she had undressed and dressed Justin Timberlake.  She wanted nothing to do with men.  Men were majorly on her shitlist, and here was one passed out on her sofa with a possibly broken ankle.  Men were worth nothing but trouble.  Tears filled her eyes.  All she had done to distance herself from the real world…all she had done to protect her privacy and remain safe…and this teen idol was ruining it all.

She sat down at the computer and stared at it.  Holy shit.  What if someone thought she had kidnapped him or something?  What if they sent someone after her…what if the police came?  She shook her head.  Impossible.  No one knew where she was or that she had him in her home…yet.  Lara frowned.  She SHOULD let someone know he was okay…but who could she contact?  No one.  She had no clue.  She’d have to wait for him to wake up.  She sighed and turned on her email.

Curly…I don’t know when I’ll get to talk to you online.  An unexpected guest has shown up, and I’m stuck amusing them for a while.  I’ll let you know when I’m back to my own sweet lonesome.  Lovies, Stripes.

 

Justin moaned and shivered as he opened his eyes.  The room spun and he groaned louder.  A shape appeared next to him, though he couldn’t see it clearly.  He saw zigzags.  “A tiger?”  He asked weakly.

“Quiet,” a female voice snapped.  “Get some rest so you’ll be some use to me later.”

“Tiger…stripes…” Justin babbled, then fell back into a deep sleep.

 

Lara was stirring a pot of chicken noodle soup for her dinner when she heard Justin moan once more.  It was almost midnight, and she hadn’t slept.  She needed to be around if and when he finally woke up.  She wasn’t tired though; she had spent most of the time pacing and staring at Justin.  He was beautiful, she had to admit that.  When his eyes had fluttered open hours earlier, she was shocked to see what a gorgeous blue they were.  The curls framing his head like a halo were soft, and she had finally given into her urge and touched one before cursing and snatching her hand back.  His lips were sweet and red, and she remembered the smile she had so often seen online in pictures.  He was quite a specimen.  Too bad all men were scum.

Lara turned down the heat on the stove and headed back to the sofa.  She sat on the edge and waited.  Justin’s eyes fluttered open once more.  He focused on her then blushed a furious red.  Lara remembered what he had said about tigers earlier, and realized that he had seen her scars.  In his delirious state, he had thought she was some kind of tiger.  “No, it’s just a human being,” she said coldly.

“Where…” Justin licked his dry lips.  “Who…” Lara got him a glass of water and carefully guided his head to the glass.  “Where am I?  What happened?”

“What do you remember?”

“I remember going to feed the Carson’s…then the truck ran out of gas and it snowed.  I fell…and that’s all,” he said.  “Where am I?”

“About four miles from the nearest road, and about twenty miles from the nearest house,” Lara told him.  “You hurt your ankle when you fell, and you must have passed out.  I passed by on my snowmobile and picked you up.”

“You brought me here by yourself?”  Justin whispered.

“Yes.  Is that so hard to believe?”  Lara snapped.

“No!  I mean, thank you.”  Justin’s eyes were serious.  “Thank you very much.  You saved my life.”

“No big deal.”  Lara stood.  “I was just making myself some soup.  Can you stomach it?”

“Yes.  I’m starving,” Justin realized.  He slowly sat up, pulling the blankets around himself.  He was still cold.  He winced as his left foot settled on the ground.  “God, this hurts like a bitch!  I mean, sorry…it really hurts.”

“It’s okay,” Lara replied, remembering the way David had sworn like a sailor.  She dragged a small table over in front of the sofa and set down another glass of water and a huge bowl of soup.  She sat on the floor across the table from him.

“You can sit up here,” Justin told her.  “I don’t bite.”

“No, thank you.”  The idea of being so close to a man made her shiver.  “I’m fine here.”  Lara stared at him.  “Is there someone I should email to inform that you’re okay?  I’m sure the record company has the dogs out looking for you or something.”

Justin blushed.  “Oh…guess you figured me out, huh.  Um…actually, the record company has no clue where I am to begin with.  We have a few days off, and I was visiting family with Chris.  There’s no computer there…actually, there is MY computer, but he won’t think to look there.”

“I see.  Anyone else?”

“So eager to get rid of me?”  Justin teased, trying to break the ice.

Lara glared at him. “I assumed someone might be worried about you.  I hate to tell you, but first of all, you’re going nowhere until the storm breaks.  It wasn’t supposed to hit until the evening, but it was supposed to last for a good two or three days.  Secondly, the only way out is on the snowmobile, and that will be really painful for your ankle right now.  I thought you might want to let someone know you were okay.”  She picked up his empty bowl to fill it.  “But you can’t tell anyone where you are.”

“I can’t…what the hell are you saying?”  Justin stared up at her.  “Am I a prisoner here?  Are you gonna go all “Misery” on me?”

Lara whirled around.  “I could care less who you are or what you sing, Justin Timberlake.  I guard my privacy very carefully, and I do not want anyone to know where I am, okay?  Not that it’s any of your business, but let’s just say my life depends on it.  As soon as the storm stops and the swelling in your ankle goes down, I’ll haul your pansy ass out of here, understand?”  She plunked the bowl down on the table and stalked to the closet.  She yanked on her coat, boots, and gloves.  “I need to get more wood.  Feel free to read my books, listen to my CDs, play around on my computer, basically invade my life.”  She headed out into the blinding snow, slamming the door behind her.

 

Justin stared at the door as it closed behind her.  He was obviously not welcome here and there was nothing he could do about it.  He had no clue what he had done to piss this girl off, except maybe being some sort of inconvenience.  He looked around the cabin as he slurped down more soup.  It was stocked with all the basic comforts except a television and a phone, from what he could see.  He realized that emailing might be a good idea, so he made it the few feet to the computer, using the edge of the sofa as a crutch.  He logged online and entered his email.  He smiled as he saw the email from Stripes.  Looked like they were both in a situation they didn’t like but couldn’t avoid.

Stripes…I hear ya, girlie.  I’m stuck staying with someone I don’t really know and like even less.  I’m not a welcome guest here, let me tell you.  I’m using someone else’s computer, so I can’t get to IM.  I’ll be dying for emails from you.  Hope to hear from you soon, Curly.

Justin struggled to remember email addresses.  He realized that Lance checked his most, and quickly typed in Lance’s business email at FreeLance Entertainment.  Scoop…please call Chris at his aunt’s ASAP.  I don’t know the number but I think he wrote it in your address book when you weren’t looking.  Long story short, I got caught in a storm.  I only have Internet access.  Basically I’m in the middle of nowhere, but I like it, actually.  No one expects anything of me here.  I’m a pain in the ass to my unhappy hostess, but as you know, pain in the ass is a role I play endearingly well.  Please let everyone know I’m fine, and as soon as the weather let’s up, she’s gonna get me out to “civilization.”  Oh, I sprained and/or broke my ankle, too.  Just wanna be like you, Lance.  I promise I’m fine, and no, there will be no ransom letter to follow.  Later, Justin.

 

Justin had just struggled back to the sofa when Lara returned with an armful of wood.  Piles of snow blew in the door with her.  “I’m sorry I can’t help you,” Justin said apologetically. 

“Get better fast and you’ll be all the help I need.  I can take you out then,” Lara said, carefully unwrapping the snow-crusted scarf from her face.  Justin ignored the ice in her tone.

“I did what you suggested…I emailed Lance and told him that I was fine but out of commission for a few days.”

“Lance Bass?”  Lara almost dropped the wood, realizing once more exactly who she was dealing with.

Justin hid a smile.  “Yes, Lance Bass.  He’ll be the one who checks his mail on a regular basis.  I told him I’m fine and that I would be back as soon as possible.  I don’t want to be an inconvenience to you.”  His eyes were sincere, and Lara warmed up slightly.

“It’s okay.  Not your fault.”

“Isn’t there anything I can do for you?  Clean your jewelry, alphabetize your CDs, something?” Justin asked.  Lara finally smiled.

“Don’t wear much jewelry here.”  She grabbed a pile of papers from inside a drawer of her desk.  “You could put these in chronological order, though.”

“No problem.”  Justin grabbed the pages eagerly.  “I hate just sitting around.  Only having one foot for a while is gonna drive me crazy.”

“Not to mention how it will ruin your career, right?”  Lara said, sitting down at her computer.

“Not really,” Justin said, looking at her strangely.  “Um, can I ask you something?”

“What?”  Lara turned around fearfully.  He was going to ask about her face, she just knew it.

“What’s your name?  You never said…and you know mine…”

“Lara,” she said, smiling at her own stupidity.

“Lara.  Nice.  Can you put some music in, Lara?  And please, nothing of ours.”

“Okay,” Lara replied.  She put in a few jazz instrumental CDs.  Justin tilted his head to the side.

“Nice.  Different.  I like it.”

“Glad you approve.”  Lara turned back around to her computer and logged onto her email.  She grinned as she quickly read Curly’s message.  She missed him already.  For as much as she hated men, she couldn’t hate him.

“What are all these?”  Justin asked, flipping through the pile in front of him.  “Emails?”

Lara blushed a furious red.  “Yes, and you don’t need to be reading them.”

“I wasn’t!”  Justin snapped, sick of her bullshit.  “What the hell is up your butt?”

“Excuse me?”  Lara jumped to her feet.  “Do you KNOW what your appearance here in my woods has done to my life?  Pretty much fucked it up.  Whether I like it or not, I will get some celebrity from all this, and I DON’T want it!  I don’t like people, especially men, and I don’t want you here.  We’ll get along fine if you don’t ask anymore personal questions, okay?”  Justin stared at her.

“Holy shit…what the hell did this guy do to you?”  He asked softly.  Tears jumped into her blue eyes.

“Gave me these, for starters,” Lara whispered, pointing to her face.  She took a deep breath.  “I’m a writer.  Those are fan emails.  I need to reply to them and I want to do them in order.”

“Anything I’ve read?”  Justin went back to putting the emails in order.

“Mostly some ultraromantic drivel with a good page or two of sex every now and then,” Lara said.

“Cool.  I enjoy good sex…I mean, reading good sex, every now and then.”  Justin blushed and Lara couldn’t help but laugh.  Justin finally laughed as well.  She motioned to a large bookshelf in the corner.

“The top shelf is all my stuff.  Feel free to read it.”

“I will,” Justin replied, smiling at her.  She blushed and turned back to her computer.  They worked in silence.  The ice between them started to break, so slowly that neither of them noticed.

 

Two hours later Lara stretched and yawned.  She turned around to look at Justin.  His head was back against the sofa and he was softly snoring away.  She smiled.  It WAS two in the morning, after all.  She carefully pulled the pile of emails out of his hand and slowly laid him back down on the sofa.  She gently picked up his foot and placed it on a pile of pillows, then spread a thick blanket over him.  She stared at him for a long moment.  He seemed harmless enough.  He had a bit of an attitude…a cockiness…but it was to be expected with the life he was used to living.  He had a beautiful smile, she had to admit that.  Every time she had seen a picture of him online she had immediately noticed his smile.  She sighed.  Stop, she told herself.  He is a man…doesn’t matter if he seems nice…they always seem nice at first. 

Lara yawned again but sat down in front of her computer.  Living alone gave her the ability to keep strange hours, and she usually took a long nap in the early afternoon.  She opened her email.

Curly…I am going fucking crazy here.  I’m not used to having someone around, and this someone isn’t going to be leaving for a long time.  It’s a long story, but basically weather and health are keeping him here.  This blows.  I don’t like people; you know that much about me.  But I’m being good…and a grown up…and I will survive.  One more step towards the real world, I guess.  I miss talking to you.  I check IM just in case but you’re never on.  Oh well.  Take it easy.  Stripes.

She flipped on IM, and smiled when she saw her friend in California was on. It was only eleven there, so it was no surprise to see her on.  Lara was glad it was her.  This was the only friend she could tell about Justin and be sure it wouldn’t be all over the world the next day.

 

STRIPES:  Shelley!  Thank God you’re on.  I really really need to tell you something.

HONEYGIRL:  Hey, sweetie, what’s up?  Everything okay?

STRIPES:  Yes and no.  You will never guess who is sleeping on my sofa.

HONEYGIRL:  Well, since you told me you live in the middle of nowhere, I’d have to guess either Grizzly Adams, Smokey the Bear, or the Abominable Snowman.

STRIPES:  Ha ha very funny.  Are you sitting down?

HONEYGIRL:  **sighing** Yes.  I’m sitting.  Who is it.

STRIPES:  Justin Randall Timberlake

HONEYGIRL:  Ha ha again.  Seriously.

STRIPES:  Shelley, I’m NOT kidding.  Justin Timba-timba-timberlake is ON MY SOFA ASLEEP!

HONEYGIRL:  You’re…you’re serious.  You think Justin Timberlake is on your sofa?

STRIPES:  Shelley, please believe me. I’m not making this shit up.  I was out today and found him lying in the bushes with a sprained ankle.  Maybe he’s out here with Chris or something.  I don’t know but there he was, in the middle of a snowstorm.  I picked him up and brought him back here. 

HONEYGIRL:  **SCREAMING** You are fucking telling me that Justin “Electric Hips” Timberlake is on your sofa sleeping!

STRIPES:  Yes.  That is what I’m telling you.  I’m also telling you that I dressed and undressed those hips…under a blanket, of course.

HONEYGIRL:  **picks self up off of floor** OHMYFUCKINGGOD!  Girl…I am speechless.  Wait…is Lance with him?

STRIPES:  **sighs** Shel, do you really think Lance could make it for five seconds in the wilderness?  I think not.  As fine as that man is, he is not Mountain Man Material.

HONEYGIRL:  LOL Guess not.  But daymn, girl!  Justin…daymn…what are you gonna do?

STRIPES:  He told me that he emailed Lance, to let everyone know he’s okay.  I’ll take him back to “civilization” in a few days, once the weather clears and he’s okay to travel.  His ankle is pretty bad, and he seems like he might have some sort of a bug or something…heaven only knows how long he was outside in that storm.

HONEYGIRL:  Right.  What’s he like?

STRIPES:  Cocky…flashes that smile every ten minutes.  I hate men with smiles that nice.

HONEYGIRL:  No…you just hate men.  You gonna be able to handle this?

STRIPES:  I have to.  Can’t just let him out in the cold.

HONEYGIRL:  Understandable.  Well, put a good word in for me, would you?  Ya never know when he might be looking for a gf for Lance.

STRIPES:  LOL I’ll see what I can do.  I’m gonna turn in.  Later, Honey.

HONEYGIRL:  Later, girl.

 

Lara smiled as she shut down the computer.  Shelley was probably her best friend in the world right now.  She hadn’t told her much about the whole David thing, but she had told Shelley how she lived away from people, and that she thought men were the lowest creatures on the earth…except for Nick Carter and Lance Bass, of course.

Lara wearily made her way over to the closet and pulled out a sleeping bag and blankets.  Making sure the fire was well fed, she spread out her makeshift bed and sighed as she climbed under the covers.  Her only real bed was the sofabed, and Justin was on the sofa.  She lay staring at the fire for a long time before finally falling asleep.

 

Lara burrowed under the covers and quietly moaned as she sank back onto her pillow.  She sniffed, then sniffed again.  Her eyes flew open and she sat straight up.  The sofa was empty.

“Justin?” She called.

“Over here.  I’m…in the…kitchen.”  He triumphantly hobbled over to the table with a plate of toast.  “Go wash your face.  Breakfast is served.”

“Breakfast?  Justin, I…” Lara’s mouth fell open as she saw toast, bacon, eggs and fruit on the table.  “What the hell?”

“I was hungry and thought I should at least try to earn my keep around here.  It wasn’t too hard…as long as I didn’t place weight on my ankle.  Go wash up!”  He ordered.

Dammit.  There was that smile again.  “Okay,” Lara said, pulling on a pair of thick socks before padding into the bathroom.

She came back out and found him already seated at the table, pouring them each a mug of coffee.  “I hope you don’t mind me going through your cabinets.”

“No, of course not.”  Lara looked at the table.  “You can have the eggs. I don’t eat eggs.”

“Okay,” Justin looked at her strangely.

“I know…un-American or something.  I’m also not fond of cheese.  When I tell some people that, they act like I just spit on their mother or something.”

Justin howled with laughter.  “That’s cute.  I like that.”

They began to eat in virtual silence.  Lara finally broke it.  “Is there anyone who would be worried about you?  I mean, like a girlfriend or something?”

Justin frowned.  “No…I really don’t have time for all that.  I mean, not that I don’t like talking to girls or going out or something, but I just don’t have time for a relationship.  I know she’d worry about me being on the road, and I’d hate the fact that I couldn’t be there for her, and I’d worry about someone swiping her away from me.”

“Of course,” Lara said, nodding.

“What about you?”  Justin asked gently.  Storms raged behind her eyes, and he saw her hand tighten around her coffee mug.

“Just like you.  No time.  Not interested.”  Lara stood and took her dishes to the sink.  She began to run water into the sink.

“I’m sorry,” Justin said softly.  He hadn’t realized how tender the whole subject of men was.  He didn’t know this girl, but he was already worried about her.  “So, what are you gonna do today?”

“I don’t do much, really.  Usually I go out and walk, try to get inspiration.  That’s how I found you, actually.”  Lara gazed out the kitchen window.  “But I don’t think I’ll be walking outside for a while.”  She turned around to look at him.  “I’m sorry I’m not a very good hostess.  I haven’t been around people much since…for a while.”

“It’s okay.  The simple peace and quiet around here is just wonderful,” Justin told her.  He brought the rest of the dishes to the sink and picked up a towel.

“No.  Go prop your foot up.  I’ve had enough sprained ankles in my day to know they need to be elevated.”

“In your day?”  Justin smirked at her choice of words.  “And just how old ARE you?”

“Twenty-seven,” Lara replied.  Justin was shocked.

“Are you serious?  Wow…I don’t think you look a day over twenty or twenty-one.  Swear to God.”

“You’ve been around too many teenyboppers,” Lara said, smiling at him. “Now go sit down.”

“Yes, Mom,” Justin grumbled, but hobbled back into the living room.

 

When Lara returned to the living room a few moments later, Justin was back on the sofa, foot obediently propped up.  He had one of her books in his hand and was flipping through it.  Lara glanced at the cover.  “That’s my favorite,” she said shyly.

“I’m glad I picked it then,” he said, then grinned.  “Actually, it’s because it’s the shortest.”

Lara frowned.  “Warning…no pictures, Brillo. Hope you can follow it.”

Justin’s mouth dropped open.  “Brillo?  What is that all about?”

Lara smirked at him.  “What the girls online call that head of hair ya got there, Shirley Temple.  Feel flattered.  It is the ultimate term of affection for you.”

“So you have affection for me?”  Justin shot back, meaning to tease her.  Lara’s blue eyes grew dark.

“Hardly.  I have to work.  Try to keep quiet, please.”  She flopped down in her chair and turned on the computer.  Justin sighed and opened the book.

 

Justin glanced up at the clock.  Holy shit.  He had been reading for almost ninety minutes straight as Lara had tapped away on the computer.  The book was a romance…not the type of book he preferred, if he read at all.  But this was more than some sappy Harlequin romance book.  It was a story that went to a more psychological level, about finding love after someone has wounded you so deeply that you feel you will never trust another human being again.  Justin flipped to the front and read the copyright date.  Only a year old.  He stared at the back of Lara’s head, wondering about what had happened to her. 

Those scars were obviously from longer than a year ago.  He watched as she unconsciously picked up a lock of her dark hair and twirled it around her fingers.  She had beautiful hair, shoulder length and dark brown.  It was such a contrast to her light blue eyes.  And her lips were a beautiful red that was even more beautiful when curled up in a rare smile.  He could already tell that she rarely found something to smile about.  And those eyes, so sad.  Every time she really looked at him, mortal fear was behind their blue walls.  He was dying to know what had happened, and the book only made him want to know more.

“Hey,” he said softly, and Lara jumped.  She had forgotten he was there.  “Um…mind taking a break and letting me check my mail?”

Lara began to snap, then realized how boring her home must seem to him.  “Sure.  Let me check mine quick.”

“Cool.”  Justin went back to his book.  Lara was pleased to see how far he had gotten in it.  She logged onto her email and frowned.  Nothing from Curly yet.  Oh well. 

“All yours.  Just go to wherever your mail is.”

“Thanks.”  Justin struggled up from his chair and Lara wandered off to use the bathroom.  Justin sat down in the computer chair gratefully and logged onto his mail.  He smiled as he saw the email from Stripes.  He sighed as he saw how down she was.  It seemed that she had these awful mood swings sometimes…he chalked it up to being a woman, though he knew he could never tell HER that.

Stripes…I’m proud of you for hanging in there and being a good hostess.  Me?  I’m hanging in there too.  I check IM a lot, and you’re never on when I am.  Guess we keep missing each other.  I busted my ankle yesterday.  I’m so pissed.  I feel like such a loser, sitting around doing nothing.  The place I’m staying, though, my hostess is a writer.  Not bad, either.  You might even know her.  Her name is Katherine Morgan…at least her pen name is.  I bet you write better though.  Well, I don’t wanna tie up her computer so TTYL.  Lovies, CurlyJ.

Justin hit send and jumped when the little envelope on Lara’s mail dinged immediately.  “You have mail,” he called to her.  “I’ll leave the Internet…” he stared at the screen as he minimized the Internet window.  Her wallpaper was a herd of zebras.  He then looked up and for the first time really noticed the pictures on the wall.  Lara in Africa in some happier time, standing in front of a herd of zebras.  Lara, with scars on her face.  He clicked on IM and watched the window pop up to the default name.  No.  No way.  “Stripes” appeared at the top of the box.  He closed IM and went back to his email.  He addressed an email to his friend and tapped out a few useless words and hit send.  Another immediate envelope ding.  “Oh…my…God…” he whispered. 

 

When Lara came back into the living room the screensaver was dancing across the monitor and Justin was sitting in a corner of the sofa, his face devoid of color.  “What’s wrong, Justin?  You okay?”  Lara asked, trying not to seem too concerned. She had never seen someone so pale before.

“Fine,” he whispered.  “You have mail.”

“Oh, okay.  Thanks.”  Lara gave him another strange look and sat back down at the computer.

Stripes…I’m proud of you for hanging in there and being a good hostess.  Me?  I’m hanging in there too.  I check IM a lot, and you’re never on when I am.  Guess we keep missing each other.  I busted my ankle yesterday.  I’m so pissed.  I feel like such a loser, sitting around doing nothing.  The place I’m staying, though, my hostess is a writer.  Not bad, either.  You might even know her.  Her name is Katherine Morgan…at least her pen name is.  I bet you write better though.  Well, I don’t wanna tie up her computer so TTYL.  Lovies, CurlyJ.

Lara’s face went as white as Justin’s.  She slowly turned around to look at him.  He was suddenly quite interested in his fingernails. She opened the other email.

You were wrong.  I DID like your writing.  You write better then anyone I’ve ever read before.  I HAVE seen your books in airports but never bothered to buy one.  Boy was I stupid.  I hope your unexpected guest doesn’t cause you too much trouble.  Justin.

 

Lara silently closed out her email and shut down the computer before turning around to look at Justin. His blue eyes were huge.  She opened her mouth and closed it, wondering what to say.

“Stripes,” Justin said finally in a quiet voice. She looked at him quizzically for a moment, then realized she was talking about her choice of a screen name.

“Well, I’ve always loved zebras, as you know,” Lara said softly.  She didn’t know how to act, what to think. This was the face behind the person she had been talking to for all these months. She had opened up to him more than anyone else.  “And then, this…” she said as she pointed to her face.

“Right,” Justin said softly.  He swung his foot down to the ground and propped it on the coffee table.  “Could you sit next to me?”  Lara hesitated then moved to the opposite end of the sofa.  “Thank you.  I just feel better with you not being so far away.”

“Why are you really in Pennsylvania?”  Lara asked.

“We just finished a bunch of promo stuff and had five days off.  Joey is in New York, JC and Lance are back home, and I came out here with Chris to his Aunt and Uncle’s.  I was delivering food to a needy family when the truck ran out of gas, it started to snow, and then I fell and hurt my ankle.”

“Damn…sounds like a bad country song,” Lara said, making them both smile.  They looked at each other for a long moment.

“I can’t believe I’m really here in front of you, sitting on your sofa,” Justin said in quiet amazement.  “This is so wonderful.”  He looked at her for a long moment.  “I know you don’t like people, and that you guard your privacy carefully.  I know all about that.  I’m afraid, though, that your name, your face, something will leak out to the press once they come get me, or you take me back.”

Lara stood and began to pace.  “It can’t happen, Justin.  I will dump you in the woods and call people to come get you…but I cannot let anyone see my face.”  Justin’s mouth dropped open.  “Okay, maybe that was a little harsh,” she said apologetically.  “But you don’t understand, Justin.  My life depends on keeping myself hidden.  From EVERYONE.  Why do you think I wouldn’t tell you anything about me?”

“You told me A LOT about you,” Justin argued.  “I bet I know you better than anyone else.  I told you a lot, too.  You know things about me…feelings…thoughts…that NO ONE knows.  I’ve opened my heart to you, Lara, and I feel you owe me the same thing.  Just some honest answers to all the mystery surrounding you.  Why are you hiding?  Who did that to you?  Why are you so afraid?”

 

Lara wanted to tell him. She wanted to tell someone…unload it off of her shoulders.  But she couldn’t.  “I…I…I can’t, Justin,” she whispered.  Just the memories made her shake and tears threatened to fall.

“Oh…oh, God…Lara…don’t.  Don’t cry, sweetheart.”  The endearment fell off of his tongue involuntarily.  “Please don’t cry.  I’m sorry.”  Before he knew what he was doing, Justin scrunched over on the sofa and took her in his arms.  Lara gasped and tried to pull away, but Justin kept a tight hold on her.  The feeling of another body so close to her was very very strange…but little by little it seemed familiar.  “Shhh…let me hold you.  Go ahead and cry, baby,” Justin whispered, stroking her hair.  She shrank away from him, then finally gave in.  She sobbed on his shoulder, loving the wondrous sensation of another human being’s arms around her.  “It’s okay. I won’t hurt you.  I won’t hurt you,” he repeated.

Lara grabbed onto the front of the tshirt she had given him and really let loose.  She cried for her broken heart, for her wounded body, for parts of her that she had given away and could never recover.  Justin said nothing, just held her and occasionally stroked her hair.  The sobs slowly died down, and he could tell by her breathing that she had cried herself to sleep.  He slowly adjusted his body to a more comfortable position and was soon almost lying down with her in his arms.  He looked around her cabin, wondering what in the world could have made her run away like this.  It was cozy and comfortable, warm and friendly, yet so totally isolated that he worried for her safety.  Obviously she was strong enough to take care of herself, and she had saved his ass, so she was no wimpy girl.  He smiled at the thought of her loading him up on the snowmobile and dragging him into the house.  The sight must have been a comic one.

Justin sighed and snuggled down further.  They had been up late the night before and he was tired.  He allowed his eyes to flutter closed, and he stroked her hair for maybe five minutes more before falling asleep.

 

Lara struggled against the arms that held her down, pushing and shoving.  “Get off.  GET OFF!”  She jumped to her feet, angrily glaring at Justin before she was fully awake.

“What?  What?  What happened?”  Justin asked sleepily, slowly sitting up.

“I’m…sorry…” she panted.  “I felt your arms…and I thought…I…” her face was red with embarrassment.

“No problem,” Justin replied, rubbing his eyes.  “I promise you though, if I was trying to keep you in my arms, you’d know it.”

Lara stared at him for a long moment.  “You’re really cocky, you know that?”

“And you’re really moody, you know that?”  He shot back.  They looked at each other.  Lara was the first to smile.

“Chalk it up to PPMS.  Perpetual Pre-Menstrual Syndrome,” she told him.

“Chalk it up to IAPI.  I’m A Pop Icon,” he replied, and she giggled.  “It’s really good to meet you, Stripes,” Justin said softly, carefully struggling to his feet.  Lara moved closer so he could lean on her.  Instead, he pulled her into his arms for a warm friendly hug.

“Nice to meet you, too,” she whispered, burying her face in his shoulder.

 

The rest of the day felt very strange.  They spent the time getting to know each other, and yet they already knew each other so well they felt very comfortable with one another.  Lara started teasing Justin as they sat down for an early supper.

“I can’t believe it.  All this time CurlyJ was Justin “electric hips” Timberlake,” Lara said as she dished out fried potatoes onto Justin’s plate.

Justin spit out the mouthful of milk he had just taken from his glass.  “Justin WHAT?”

Lara giggled.  “You heard me.  That’s the nickname I gave you online.   Those things should be registered weapons, young man.”

“Anything else you said online that I should know about?”

“Not about you, really. Only about…” Lara’s eyes grew wide and she blushed furiously.  “Lance.  Oh my God.  Lance.  All that time I ran on and on about him and he’s your bandmate.”  She glared at him.  “How could you let me make an ass of myself like that?”

“You were doing such a good job of it,” Justin told her.  She glared at him again. “Just kidding.  I didn’t mind.  I thought it was cute.  If it would have been ME that you were drooling over, then I woulda said something.”  He thought a moment.  “Hey.  Why WEREN’T you drooling over me?  Why Lance and not me?”  He looked so insulted that Lara howled with laughter.

“Don’t be hurt, Justin.”  She patted his shoulder as he served himself some ham.  “I couldn’t help it.  There’s just something about Lance.”  She stared off into space dreamily.  “Those eyes…that hair…that voice…those fingers…”

“Okay, first of all, did you notice that his eyes aren’t straight?  Crooked as hell.  Secondly, if you touched that hair you would impale yourself on it.  Mousse Central.”  Justin ran his fingers through his own curly hair and Lara swallowed deeply.  “His voice?  It’s low, right. Big deal.  I could make my voice that low if I wanted.  And he’s from the South.  So what.  So am I…I just lost the hick accent ages ago.”  Lara was screaming with laughter by this time.  “And his fingers.  Well…” Justin paused.  “What about his fingers?”

Lara could barely contain herself.  “Oh…Justin…stop…please…” she panted for breath, her face bright head.  Justin beamed at her, happy he could make her laugh so hard.  It was obvious that she hadn’t laughed like that in a while.  “I’m sorry.  Nothing against you or the other guys…it’s just that Lance seems like something really special, you know?”

“So do you.”  Justin impulsively placed his hand over hers.  He gave her a cocky smirk.  “And if you play your cards right, I could introduce you to him.”

She snatched her hand back, suddenly serious.  “No thank you.  Lance Bass would want NOTHING to do with me.”

“And how do you know that?  Who’s known him longer, you or me?  Oh, yeah, that’s right, YOU don’t know him at all.”  Justin shoveled a forkful of corn into his mouth.

“Look at me, Justin.  You got the chance to know me before seeing me.  No one else looks past this!” She shoved a finger in the direction of her scarred cheek. “Children run away…or if they don’t run away they want to know what happened.  Who made me like that?  And men?  Puhleeze.  If I DID find one that could be a decent human being, he’d run away as well!”  Lara shoved her chair back.  “I’d appreciate if you got that matchmaking idea right out of your mind, okay?  I’m going out to get more wood.”  She stomped to the door, threw on her coat, gloves and hat, and slammed the door behind her.

“I’m a decent human being…and I’m not running away,” Justin said softly, staring at the closed door.

 

After dinner Justin moved into the living room.  He was comfortably settled on the sofa when Lara came back in with an armful of wood.  She noticed that the table was cleared and the dishes were washed.

“I put the leftovers in the fridge,” Justin said as she unwrapped her scarf.  “I figured you might be hungry later.”

“Maybe.  Thanks,” she said simply.  She stacked the wood by the fireplace and went to change clothes.  She reappeared a few minutes later.  “It’s cold out, but it’s done snowing.  Tomorrow I should be able to go out and take a look at things.”

“Great!”  Justin exclaimed.  “Not that I don’t like being here with you, but I know what an inconvenience I am to you.”

“You’re not that much of an inconvenience,” Lara replied, sitting down at her computer.  Justin said nothing, picking up his book and finding the page where he had stopped reading. 

Lara popped her disk in but stared at the empty screen.  She started to check her email, then realize that the one person she really wanted to hear from was seated behind her on the sofa.  She sighed and turned off the computer.

Justin looked up from his reading as Lara crawled back into her makeshift bed on the floor in front of the fire.  “Is that comfortable?”

Lara shrugged.  “The only bed I have is that.”  She motioned to the sofa.  “It opens into a sofabed.”

Justin blushed a deep red. “Oh.  I’m sorry!  Why don’t we switch?”

“No…this is fine.  You need to have your foot elevated, and if we open the bed there isn’t room for someone to sleep on the floor.”

“We could both sleep up here,” he suggested.  “I swear to God, I won’t touch you.”

Lara knew she could trust him.  She knew that she could trust Justin more than any other person on the planet.  She just couldn’t bring herself to get that close.  “No,” she said softly.  “I’m fine down here, thank you.”  She lay down and closed her eyes.

Justin watched her for a moment, amazed by the fear in her eyes.  He was totally ready to kill the bastard who had hurt her so badly.  “Can I ask you a question?”

Her eyes flew open.  “Um, sure,” she replied hesitantly.

“I noticed that none of your books have your picture on the back.  Is that because of the scars?”

“Among other things, yes,” she answered.

“Okay.  Just wondering.”  He went back to his book.  Lara snuggled under her covers, suddenly tired.  It wasn’t long before she fell asleep.

 

A few hours later Justin slapped the book shut and stretched.  He had finally finished it and couldn’t wait to tell her how much he had enjoyed it.  He smiled as he saw her curled up asleep on the floor.  He bent down and pulled the covers up closer to her face, then carefully hobbled to the bathroom.

When he came back, Lara was thrashing about and crying in her sleep.  He slowly lay down beside her on the floor and tried to grab her hands, but that only made her scream louder.  Justin’s mind frantically raced.  He wanted to wake her form the horrible dream but trying to calm her down seemed to only scare her more.  He finally began to gently stroke her forehead, keeping a soft steady motion with his fingertips.  In a quiet soothing whisper, Justin repeated, “It’s okay.  You’re safe.  I won’t let him touch you ever again.”  He continued this process for almost ten minutes before Lara began to calm down.  Soon her screams dwindled to whispers, and her thrashing became shivering.  Justin reached up to the sofa and grabbed his pillow and blanket.  He slowly and carefully made himself comfortable, making sure that he was not touching her body with his.  When he was situated, he reached over and gently laid his hand over hers.

 

Lara jolted awake about three hours later.  From the stiffness of her muscles, she knew she had been through yet another nightmare.  She gasped when she saw Justin sleeping next to her on the floor.  She was even more surprised to see his hand protectively covering hers.  She couldn’t believe she hadn’t felt it.  She realized that he must’ve climbed down to comfort her during her bad dream.

Justin felt her stirring and he opened his eyes.  Lara was watching him, her blue eyes huge.

“I’m ready to tell you what happened.”

 

Justin rubbed his eyes and looked at her.  “Are you sure?”  He asked gently.  “I mean, I want to know but I understand what a big deal this is.”

Lara silently got up and threw more wood on the fire.  When she sat back down, she leaned against the sofa.  Justin propped his head on his hand.

“I met David through a friend of a friend.  From the start, I knew that I was more interested in him than he was in me.  I didn’t care.  I had someone.  He was good looking…smart…funny.  We were together for almost six months when he seemed to decide that he needed to change me.  My clothes were ugly, my friends were dumb, I listened to the wrong music, I needed to lose weight…”

“He told you that you needed to lose weight?”  Justin asked, his mouth falling open.  Lara nodded and continued.

“I did everything he told me, changed everything he wanted me to change, and it still wasn’t good enough.  He started to yell…a lot.  He yelled if I asked where he had been, and he yelled if he called and I wasn’t home.  Nothing seemed good enough.

“One night, we went out with his friends and one of them flirted with me.  Totally innocent flirting.  David was furious.  Not with his friend…with ME.  When we got back to his apartment, he took my car keys from my purse, stuck them in his pocket, and then shoved me out the door, locking it behind me.  My money and keys were with him, so I had to walk the five miles back to my house.”  Justin opened his mouth to speak.  “I couldn’t call anyone.  I was too embarrassed,” she told him.  “The next morning my car was in my driveway, with my purse on the seat.”  Lara got up for a drink of water. 

Justin’s brain was flying with questions, but he knew he had to let her tell the story the way SHE wanted to.  “I realized over time that I was more miserable than happy, and I began to question what I was getting out of this relationship.  I decided that as much as I hated the idea of being alone, it was better than the current situation.  I confronted David with my decision, and he took it calmly, asking once or twice if he could change my mind.  I told him no, and he hugged me goodbye.

“Two nights later he was at my door, drunk off his ass.  Against my better judgment, I let him in.  He told me that he was miserable without me and begged me to give him a second chance.  Surprisingly enough, I held my ground and said no.  Before I knew it, he had me on the ground and was shoving at the waistband of my shorts.  I screamed and struggled, but he outweighed me by a good seventy pounds or so.  I finally allowed him to do what he wanted, hoping he would just finish and leave.  He stood and began to pull his pants up as I lay on the ground and sobbed.  As he smirked down at me, he seemed to get an idea.  Pinning me down with a hand on my throat, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his keys.”

Justin gasped in horror.  “Oh my God…” he whispered.

“He told me if he couldn’t have me, then he’d make sure no one else would want me.  Cutting my face must’ve been some sort of aphrodisiac, because he raped me again before he left.”

Justin’s arms ached to hold her, but he held back.  “Please tell me you pressed charges.”

“I tried.  Friends came out of the woodwork for him in court, telling the judge that David had told them countless times how he and I played these little sex games where he would pretend to attack and I would pretend to fight him off, and then I would give in.”

“Is that true?”  Justin asked gently.  She blushed.

“We had our little games, yes, but there was no FUCKING way in HELL that he could have thought I was playing that night,” she replied venomously.  “It was my word against his, and I lost.  He thought he was home free…and then they got him for the keys.  Eighteen months in prison.  That pissed him off.”  Her blue eyes filled with tears.  “That’s why I’m hiding, J.  He wants to kill me.”

“Lara, come on. I…”

“You don’t know him, Justin.  He sent me threatening letters from prison, saying I ruined his life.  I made him lose his job, turned all his friends against him.  He told me that he wants to end my life since I ended his.  The day he got out of prison is the day I disappeared.  No one knows I’m here…not even my family. No one but you.”  Lara took a deep breath and looked at him.  “What are you thinking?”  She asked almost fearfully.

“How much I want to hold you right now,” he said honestly.  Justin sat up and opened his arms, looking at her.  She bit her lip, hesitating.  With a sob she fell into his arms and he wrapped them around her.  “It’s okay,” he said, fighting the urge to kiss her forehead.  “You’re not alone anymore.”

 

Lara woke around eight-thirty in the morning with her cheek pressed tightly against Justin’s tshirt. She started to struggle, then remembered who was holding her.  She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, enjoying the scent of someone being so close to her.  She felt him laugh.

“I must smell disgusting.  It’s hard to shower when I can’t stand up, and your tub is too tall for me to get in and out of easily.  I’m usually cleaner then this, I promise.”

Lara pulled away, blushing.  “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Justin replied, and she saw the understanding in his eyes.

“After breakfast I’m gonna go out and snoop around a bit on the snowmobile; see if there are some low places where I can get you back into town,” Lara said, hopping up and making her way to the kitchen.  Justin slowly followed her and sat at the table as she made coffee.

“I’m going with you.”

Lara whirled around.  “Oh no you’re not.”

“Oh yes I am,” he contradicted.  “As much as I like you, and as cozy as this cabin is, I can’t take it.  I need to get outside.”

“Justin…”

“Lara…” he interrupted in the same tone.  “I can be just as stubborn as you are.  Ask JC.  He tries to get me to do something I don’t want to do and he gets so pissed because it’s no use.  I’m going out there with you.  I’ll put on like eight pair of socks and tie my boots really tight.  That will be enough support for the short time we’ll be out.”

“And just where would you be getting these socks?”  She asked.

“You’re going to give them to me,” Justin said simply.  Lara laughed out loud at the pretentious look on his face.

“You really are a spoiled superstar, aren’t you?”  She teased.  His face grew dark.

“I have a lot of things, yes.  People cater to me, yes.  But do NOT call me spoiled, okay?  I hate that.”  He hobbled off to the bathroom and slammed the door behind him.  Lara sighed and began to make some breakfast.

 

When Justin opened the bathroom door, eight pair of socks were laid out on the floor, making a trail from the bathroom to the kitchen.  Justin laughed as he bent down and swiped them up one by one, hopping on his good foot to keep balance.  He gave Lara his beautiful smile as he made his way to the kitchen. 

“I’m sorry,” she told him.  “I was only teasing.”

“I know.  I didn’t mean to bitch at you.  I just get sick of people assuming we’re so spoiled.  Okay, we have a lot of designer things, a lot of jewelry, we’re used to the best everywhere we go.  But I totally loved working with Chris’ uncle out in the woods.  Everything is so simple there…so basic.  It was awesome.”

“Do you have Chris’ uncle’s number?”  Lara asked as she served him two chocolate poptarts.  Justin raised an eyebrow.  “I love these.  It’s actually special for me to even share them with you.”

Justin ignored that remark.  “I don’t have that number, no, but I think Lance does.”

Lara jumped up from the table and went into the living room.  She came back carrying a cellular phone.  Justin’s mouth dropped open.  “For emergencies,” she told him.  “I knew you had contacted them by email so I didn’t consider it an emergency.”

Justin couldn’t decide if he was mad or not.  He could have called and had someone fly or ski or tank out and pick him up. He then remembered the storm, and realized that no one could have reached them.  “Thank you,” he said softly.  A smirk quivered at the edges of his mouth.  “Would YOU like to call him?”

“Oh, GOD, no,” she said, blushing furiously as she poured herself some milk.

Justin laughed and dialed Lance’s home number.  “Hello?”  Lance answered sleepily.

“Hey, Lansten. It’s Justin.”

“Justin?”  He could hear Lance sit up in bed.  “Oh, damn, J, it’s great to hear your voice.  Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.  Still where I was but I may be able to get back to Chris within the next few days.  I need his number at his uncle’s.”

“Sure!  Hold on.  I need to find it.”  Justin knew this would only take a second.  Lance was the most organized person he knew.  “Here it is.”  Lara shoved a piece of paper at Justin and he quickly jotted down the number.  “How’s your ankle?”

“Better, I think.  Hey, I’m on a cell so I gotta run.  I’ll call you when I get with Chris, okay?”

“Yeah, okay, sure.  Bye.”

Lara was staring at Justin when he hung up the phone.  In a few days he would be gone and her life would be back to normal…or would it?  “What?”  Justin asked.

“Nothing.  Eat your breakfast.  It’s gonna take us forever to get you ready to go outside.”

 

“Okay, can we go now?” Justin whined.  Lara looked at him and smiled, imagining what he must have been like at three or four.  He was bundled up in all of Lara’s extra warm clothing, and his arms were almost standing out because of all the layers.  His ankle was securely wrapped and he could walk on it if he went slowly.

“Yes…just let me get my gloves on,” Lara told him.  “You are such a child sometime.”

“I guess so, next to an old lady like you,” Justin teased.  Lara frowned.

“Do you really think I’m that old?”  She had no clue why that bothered her so much.

“No, of course not.  I was just joking.  I mean, you are almost a whole decade older than me, but that doesn’t…”

“Oh, thanks a lot,” she muttered, slamming her hat on.  “Stay here until I bring it around.”  She went out the door slamming it behind her.

“Great one, Timberlake,” Justin said to himself, walking over to the window.  “Your dumbass mouth has done it again.”

 

By the time Lara brought the snowmobile up to the door she had regained her previous good mood.  “Can you climb on?”  She shouted over the motor as Justin came out the front door.  He nodded and carefully threw his left leg over the snowmobile.  He leaned against her back slightly until he was on, then squeezed her leg gently to tell her it was okay.  She zoomed off down the yard of the cabin.

Justin squinted as they sped over the snow, wishing he had taken Lara up on her offer of sunglasses.  The sun was bright against his eyes, but he was enjoying every minute of it.  They rode for about fifteen minutes before Lara stopped and turned off the engine.  “It’s gorgeous out here,” he said with a sigh.  She smiled.

“I know.  I love the beach, and miss it desperately, but I love it up here, too.”  She surveyed the area critically.  “Looks like a lot of snow drifted.  If you can contact Chris and his family, I can get you into town tomorrow.”

“Oh,” Justin said faintly, looking away from her.  He suddenly didn’t want to leave. 

Lara studied him for a long moment.  She didn’t want him to go.  She was finally getting used to having someone around, and she suddenly hated the thought of him leaving.  “Come on.  Let’s go back.  You can walk around near the cabin if you want; the ground is much flatter there.”  She helped him back onto the snowmobile and they headed for home.

 

When they got back to the cabin, Justin almost fell to the ground in his eagerness to get off the snowmobile and actually walk around.  Lara giggled at the strange way he hobbled about.  “Laugh all you want, Stripe-Girl.  When a snowball hits you in the face you won’t be laughing,” Justin said with an arrogant ghetto swagger.  The way he carried himself made her laugh even harder, and she found that she liked when he called her Stripe-Girl.  From anyone else she would have considered it an insult.  He was the first person that she could be with and truly believe he didn’t see the scars on her face.

“Yeah, you’re so scary,” she replied, pushing him into a snowbank.  She promptly howled with laughter when he couldn’t pull himself out.

“Fine.  I’ll stay here then.”  He lay back in his makeshift chair, catching snow flurries on his tongue.  Lara pushed the snowmobile back into the barn and cleaned it off.  When she returned to the front of the cabin, Justin had not moved.

“Comfy?”  She asked, standing in front of him.

“Very,” he replied, tossing a handful of snow up into her face.  She screamed and retaliated with a handful down his neck.  He struggled to get up and chase her, then realized he was basically immobile.  “Wench!”

“Brat!”  She shot back, giggling as she plopped down beside him.  “This seat taken?”

“It is now.”  Justin threw an arm around her shoulder and they sat comfortably together.  “Can I ask you a question and you not get mad?”

“Um…sure…” Lara said hesitantly, then realized he knew everything else.  Why should she say no?

“Why haven’t you ever…um…gotten surgery.  You know, repaired the damage.”  Justin blushed as he asked her.  The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her feelings.

Lara looked at him and saw how worried he was about asking her this.  “I thought about it,” Lara told him.  “I guess I was just too afraid to face it.  If I didn’t have to worry about going to a doctor and getting it fixed, it was like it never happened.  I don’t look in mirrors much, and no one else is around so I guess I almost forget about it.”

“Until the nightmares,” Justin said softly, and she nodded.

“Until the nightmares,” she repeated.  “I could fix it…I mean…it’s doable…but I almost feel like it’s giving in to him…making it look like it affected me.”

“But it DID,” Justin pointed out.  He tried to follow her logic but couldn’t.  He basically just accepted the fact that the idea of facing surgery like that meant facing the real world, and that scared her.  “I’m hungry.  Isn’t it lunchtime?”

Lara looked up at the sky.  “Almost.  Men.  You think with your stomachs.”

“Among other things,” he teased cautiously, not wanting to scare her.  She rolled her eyes.

“Like I said…men.”  She got up and helped him to his feet.  “Let’s go in.  You can call Chris.”

“Oh, right.” He had forgotten all about that.

They went inside and carefully peeled off their outer clothing, hanging it in front of the fire.  Justin sat at the kitchen table to call Chris as Lara got some lunch together.

“Can I speak to Chris please?”  Justin asked, not telling Aunt Lynne who it was.  “Chris?  J.”

“Justin?”  Chris yelled.  Justin moved the phone from his ear and Lara smiled.  “Where the HELL are you?”

“The middle of nowhere,” Justin told him.  “But not too far from you.  The way the roads look I can probably make it into town tomorrow.”

“Where the HELL are you?”  Chris repeated.

“Long story short…truck ran out of gas, it started to snow, I started to walk and I sprained my ankle or something.”

“Sounds like a bad country song,” Chris commented and Justin burst into laughter.  “I won’t ask.”

“Sorry.  Anyway, someone picked me up and I’ve recuperated at their place.  They’re gonna drive me into town tomorrow on a snowmobile.”

“Who?”

“I can’t say,” Justin replied guardedly.  “Anyway, I figure we’ll be in town around…”

“Noon,” Lara whispered.

“Noon, if you can make it then.”

“I’ll be there.  Thank God you’re okay, Justin.  Lance called and told us you emailed, but I was still worried.”

“Thanks, bro.  I’ll see you tomorrow.”  Justin hit ‘end’ and set the phone down.

Lara placed a ham sandwich in front of him.  “He sounds like a character.”

“Understatement of the year,” he replied, smiling his thanks as she handed him a glass of milk.  “You’d love him.  He is so goofy.  Close to your age, too.”

“Trying to set me up again?”  Lara raised an eyebrow.

“No, trying to introduce you to some nice people who could be your friends.  I’m thinking friends are scarce for you right now.”

Lara thought for a moment.  “Well, besides CurlyJ I do have one other friend online…Shelley…she lives in California.  She knows a lot about me without knowing everything.”

“That’s good.”  Justin took a bite and thought as he chewed.  “I think you should come to Boston with me.”

Lara spit out her milk.  “What?”

Justin calmly wiped off the front of his shirt and dabbed milk off of his sandwich with a napkin.  “Come to Boston with me.  We have to do a two day press thing up there…you could sightsee around the city.  Get out into the real world.”

“No,” Lara whispered, horrified.  “I can’t.”

“Are you going to just wither away and die up here?”  Justin asked almost angrily.  “You are a beautiful talented woman who deserves to have a real life!”

“I HAVE a real life, thank you very much!”  Lara snapped.  “And don’t patronize me by calling me beautiful.  We both know it’s not true and I’d prefer it if you didn’t lie.  Actually, I’d prefer if you kept your opinions to yourself. If I want your advice on how to live my life, I’ll ask for it.”

“God, maybe it’s GOOD you are up here in the middle of nowhere!”  Justin yelled, aggravated by her stubbornness.  “You can be a real bitch!”

“Fuck you.”  Lara stood.  “I am counting the damn hours until you are out of my life!”  She stomped outside, barely stopping to grab her boots and coat.

 

Once again Justin cursed his big mouth, then realized he was entitled to his opinion. He hated the thought of Lara sitting in this cabin day in and day out, all alone.  He left the dishes on the table and hobbled over to the computer.  He entered his email account.

Stripes…I never meant to hurt you.  Please know that.  I worry about you so much. You are much more than a friend to me…more like a sister or something.  I hate the thought of leaving you here to sit surrounded by the loneliness that this David asshole has left you with.  You are so much more.  You are beautiful…inside AND out.  You are talented, smart, witty…any man would be crazy not to want you.  You have much to offer the world outside the realm of your books…and I feel sorry for the people out there who won’t ever know it because you choose to sit here.  My offer will always be open.  You may join me anytime, anyplace in the world and I would welcome you.  Love always, Curly.

Justin typed in his cellphone, pager and home telephone numbers at the bottom of the email, then sent it.  He turned off the computer and selected another of her books from the shelf.  He made himself comfortable on the sofa and began to read.

 

“I hate you,” Lara muttered as she stomped around outside to make her boots fit correctly around her feet.  “I hate you, Justin Timberlake.  HATE YOU.”  She walked over to the small clearing where she chopped her wood and picked up an axe.  “HATE YOU.”  She set some of the smaller logs up and began to chop.  “I…hate…you…and…despise…you…” Lara emphasized each word with a swing of the axe.  “I…hate…you…Jus…” her voice trailed off.  She didn’t hate Justin.  She didn’t hate him at all.  “I…hate…you…David…” she whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks.  “Hate…you…for taking away my life…” she sobbed, leaning on the axe and crying.  She took a few deep breaths and stood up straight, continuing on with her chore.

 

Justin said nothing when Lara came back into the house thirty minutes later.  Her cheeks were bright red and she was panting for breath.  She didn’t say anything, just took off her boots and coat and went over to finish her sandwich.  She quickly ate and cleaned off the table.  “Oh, FUCK,” he heard her say as she started to run water to wash the dishes.

“What is it?”  Justin hobbled over, instantly concerned.

“Nothing.”  She turned her back on him and clenched her hands into fists.

“Dammit, lemme see.”  He grabbed her wrists and made her turn around.  He peeled her fingers back and winced at the bruises on her fingers and palms.  “What happened?”

“I chopped wood,” she said simply, glaring up at him.

“And you didn’t have gloves on,” he remembered.  He sighed.  “You should have known better.  Have anything for this?”

“Just some first aid salve,” she told him. 

“Get it.  I’ll finish here.”

“Yes, Dad,” she muttered, though she went to the first aid kit to retrieve the lotion.

Justin quickly finished the dishes and sat down at the table.  Lara sat across from him, giving him her hands palm up.  He carefully and gently applied the soothing lotion.  “I wasn’t trying to tell you what to do,” he said without looking up.  Lara bit her lip to hold back the tears. His voice was so kind.  “I am worried about you.  I hate leaving you here. I want you to be out in the world again.”  He glanced up at her and smiled gently at the tear that threatened to fall.  With one thumb he softly pressed on the skin right below her eye, and the tear splashed down onto his hand.  “Don’t cry.”

“I’m sorry.”  Lara blinked furiously. 

“Never apologize for crying in front of me.  No reason.”  He went back to work on her hands.  “I want you to know that I am ALWAYS here for you.  You need me, you tell me, and I’m here.  Got it?”  Lara nodded.  “Okay.  We’re done here.”

They went back in and sat on the sofa.  Lara smiled as she saw another one of her books.  “Good?”

Justin shrugged.  “Not bad.”  She poked him.  He picked the book back up as she stared at the fire.

“I’m afraid,” she said suddenly, and his head popped up.  “I’m afraid to go back out there again.  I’m afraid he’ll find me.”

Justin put the book down and moved to sit close to her.  His arm went around her and she snuggled against him naturally, not even noticing.  “I have bodyguards around me all the time.  We could get one for you.”

“That would be weird,” she said softly.

“You need to fight this.  Giving in to the fear will only let him win.  I don’t know what it’s like, but I can imagine that once you get past this first step, it can only get easier.”

“I’m scared,” she whispered.

“Of course you are.”  She put her head on his shoulder and he gently stroked her hair.  “But I’m here for you, and so is Shelley.  Call her.  Get her to come with you to Boston.”

“I can’t,” Lara replied.  Justin sighed and said nothing, just continued to stroke her hair, weaving it through his fingers absentmindedly.  “Can you sing for me?” Lara asked suddenly.

“What?”

“Sing…you know…” she lifted her head to look at him, blushing.  “I would love to hear you sing.”

“What do you want to hear?”

“Well, my favorite is “I Drive Myself Crazy”, but that isn’t your song to me.  You pick,” she said, laying her head back down.

Justin thought for a moment.  “You drive a pretty car…you know how fine you are and…nobody needs to say it.  I love the clothes you wear…they compliment you and I…I just love the way you play it…ohhhh…but the only thing you dream of money can’t buy for you…and in my dreams I make your wish come true.”  He took a deep breath as she sighed and snuggled closer.  He could hear her whispering the words along with him and he sang in a quieter voice.  “For the girl who has everything, I bring you love…I bring you love…’cause the girl who has everything can’t get enough of…my love.”

Lara swallowed deeply and closed her eyes. His voice was quiet and soothing, and she felt herself getting more relaxed then she ever could remember.

“Why do you run and hide?  Say what you feel inside…why must you always fake it…girl, you need to understand, your heart’s safe within my hands, and I promise I'll never break it…” his voice trailed off.  He could feel her settle against him, and he knew she was falling asleep.  He jumped ahead in the song.  “If you just let me try, my baby, listen…I'll help you find what you’ve been missing…you gotta listen with your heart and not your mind…”

Justin kissed the top of her head and silently held her, wondering what his life would be like once she dropped him off the next day and sped away on her snowmobile.

 

The Next Day

 

“Do you have everything?”  Lara asked as she came in from revving up the snowmobile.

“Yes…I only came here with the clothes on my back, remember?”  Justin teased.

“Yes, and you’re leaving with some of MY clothes as well,” she shot back, referring to the extra socks he wore as bandages for his ankle.

“Yeah yeah…man…you’re so selfish,” Justin smiled his bright smile and she couldn’t help but smile back.  She bent down and grabbed the backpack by the door.  She had packed it before he had awakened that morning. 

“Here.  Take this and put it on your back.”  He looked at her questioningly but did as she told him.  “Let’s plow.”

She hopped onto the snowmobile and Justin slowly walked out of the cabin, committing as much of it to memory as he could.  It had become such a place of relaxation and quiet to him that he hated to leave it.  At least that’s what he told himself.  He told himself that his sadness about leaving had NOTHING to do with the occupant of the cabin.  He absentmindedly pulled himself up behind her and placed his hands on her waist, deep in thought.  Sleep had not come for very long the night before; he couldn’t stop thinking about her.  He wanted more than anything to beg her to come with him…but he knew that it wouldn’t do any good.  She was as stubborn as he was.

Lara concentrated on the ground ahead of her, but her mind was miles away.  She didn’t want Justin to go.  At the beginning she had hated the thought of another human being invading her space, but she had soon grown to enjoy having another person to interact with.  She told herself that her sadness about his leaving had NOTHING to do with the fact that she would miss Justin…she would simply miss having a friend around.

“How long?”  Justin asked over the purr of the motor.

“About thirty minutes or so,” she called back.  He nodded to show he had heard her and looked around as the scenery flashed by.

 

“There’s town,” she said, slowing down as buildings came into view. “Where is he meeting you?”

“There’s some kind of store,” Justin said.

“Oh, right,” she replied, realizing he meant the small market at the other end of the street.  She could see a truck and three people on the street in front of the store.  She stopped the snowmobile about three blocks from the store.  “This okay?”

“Sure.”  Justin got off of the snowmobile and began to take off the backpack.  She put her hand up.

“No…keep it. I want you to have what’s inside.  I can always get more.”

“Okay,” Justin said, slinging it back onto his back.  He looked down at her and smiled.  “Thank you.  For everything.  For saving me from the wilds of the Pennsylvania wilderness.”

Lara knew he was trying to make her smile but she just couldn’t bring herself to.  If she smiled, she would cry.  “When do you leave for Boston?”

“Tomorrow, I guess…the schedule has probably changed seventeen times since I left.  You sure you don’t want to come along?”

She couldn’t say she didn’t want to because she DID want to…desperately.  “I can’t…I just can’t, Justin.  I…” Lara started to sob before she could stop herself.  Justin pulled her into his arms.

“Oh…baby…don’t.  Don’t cry.” He rocked her gently in his arms as she cried.  “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too,” she sobbed. She made herself remember every single sensation of his arms around her.  Heaven only knew when she would be that close to someone again.  “Thank you, Justin.  Thank you for listening.”

“You’re welcome.”  He pulled back to cup her face in his hands.  “I’m still your Curly…I’ll still be there for you no matter what. We’re friends, right?”  His thumbs stroked her cheeks and for once Lara forgot about the scars as she looked into his blue eyes.  She nodded.

“Friends,” she repeated. 

Before he could stop himself, before he remembered that it might scare her, he bent his head and very quickly touched his lips to hers.  Lara felt as if he had burned her mouth with a torch and she jumped.  His eyes widened.  “Oh…God…oh, Lara…I…”

“It’s okay.  I’m fine,” she promised, smiling to show that she truly was fine.  “Your friends are waiting.  Go.” She gave him a gentle shove.

“Email me.  Call if you need me.”

“Call?”

“I left the number on your computer.”  Justin reluctantly let her go.  “Any time, day or night.”

“GO,” she ordered, feeling the tears start to well up in her eyes again.  Justin bit his bottom lip, nodded, and turned.  He took two steps before hobbling back to hug her fiercely.

“Love you, Stripes.  Be careful.”  He quickly turned around and hobbled determinedly to where Chris, Aunt Lynne, and Uncle Steven were waiting. 

Lara couldn’t watch him go.  She jumped onto the snowmobile and sped away, trying to ignore the tears on her face.  She made sure the town was entirely out of sight before she stopped and allowed herself to cry freely.  She yanked off her glove and brought a shaking hand up to touch her lips.  Justin had kissed her…and she hadn’t hated it one bit.

 

“J…thank God.”  Chris pulled him into a tight hug.  “Are you okay?  How’s your foot?  Who was that person?  Did you kiss them?”

“Let him into the truck, Chris,” Steven ordered.  “I’m real sorry, young man.  I wish I coulda stopped ya and this never would have happened.”

“It’s okay…really,” Justin said, climbing into the backseat of the truck.

“You eat alright?  You look a bit under the weather,” Aunt Lynne observed. 

“I’m fine, ma’am.  I promise.  I ate fine,” Justin replied, staring out the window.  Chris continued to pry as they drove to the house, but he finally realized that Justin wasn’t saying a word when Justin totally ignored every question.

When they reached the house, Justin carefully hobbled up the steps under orders from Aunt Lynne to take a hot bath and soak his foot.  He entered the room that was his and set the backpack down.  After removing his coat and sweatshirt, he unzipped the bag, smiling as he did so. He pulled out book after book by Katherine Morgan, all autographed inside the front cover.  “To a very talented young man.  I’m sure you’ll go far if you keep on your feet and not on your bottom.  Love, KM.”  On the very bottom of the bag was a piece of cardboard folded in half.  He slowly pulled out a snapshot of Lara.  He flipped it over and read the date.  It was from about a year before the incident with David.  He looked at her smooth face for a long moment, then read the note attached.

Justin, I thought you would like this so you can remember me how I used to look instead of how I look now.  It’s one of the few pictures I kept from before.  Never forget me.  L.  He sighed and sat down on the bed, running his finger over the picture.

 

Lara pulled herself into the house and made herself take a shower.  She stared at the sofa.  Without thinking, she grabbed the pillow Justin had used and inhaled deeply, just to smell the scent of another person.  She sighed and sat at the computer, determined to use the intense emotion she was experiencing.  She opened her word program, but not before she checked her email. Her heart jumped when she saw the email from Justin, and she cried once more as she read it.  She looked at the computer for a long moment, then jumped up and went to the bookshelf for her address book.  She flipped through the pages hurriedly and went to the cellphone.

“Hello…can I please speak to Shelley?  Shelley…this is Lara…I mean…Stripes.  Yes…from the Internet.  My name is really Lara.  Yes…yes, it’s good to hear your voice, too.  Listen…I have a strange request.  I need you to come out here.  I need to tell you something…and then I need you to go somewhere with me.  I can’t do it alone.”

 

Two days later

 

Lara paced back and forth in front of gate twenty-seven at the Pittsburgh airport, anxiously checking her watch.  Shelley’s flight was due in any second and she was nervous as hell.  She kept her face down, only looking up to avoid running into someone. In this large bustling airport, however, she could have had green tattoos on her face and no one would have noticed.  She had forgotten what it was like to be around so many people, and she was very uncomfortable.

After Shelley had agreed to come with her to Boston, she called Justin’s cellphone.  He answered and sounded happy to hear her voice.  She fished around for information, and finally found out the name of the hotel where they were staying and how long they’d be in Boston.  It seemed that they were going to waste some time there before they were needed in New York, and then they’d go back to Florida.

Lara finally sat down and closed her eyes.  She could do this.  She was a grown woman.  She hadn’t lived in a cabin ALL her life.  It was just so noisy.  She could barely think.  She kept her eyes closed and tried to relax.  The last two days had moved so quickly. She had packed up what she would need to travel and sadly locked up her cabin.  She went down into town and took Mr. Keefe’s offer of the room on the back of his house for a few days.  He was pleasantly surprised, and his wife was a wonderful woman who shrieked with delight when she realized that Katherine Morgan was staying in their back room.  Lara’s hand had hurt from signing all her books, but she did it gladly.

Mr. Keefe had arranged transportation to a small local airport, and she had flown down to Pittsburgh in a tiny plane.  Here she was, waiting for Shelley.  They would have six hours to kill before their connecting flight to Boston, and she was scared to death.

Lara stood as they announced the arrival of Shelley’s flight.  She began to pace once more, biting on a fingertip as people filed out of the tunnel. They had exchanged email pictures but she didn’t know if Shelley would recognize her.  The only picture she had was before David.  She explained about the scars but didn’t know…

“Lara.” The young woman in front of her grinned.  “It’s me…Shelley.”

“Hi,” Lara said shyly.  Shelley pulled her into a hug.

“It’s so good to finally meet you.  I can’t wait to hear what all the mystery is about.  I couldn’t wait to get here.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you more over the phone.  I didn’t feel right.  We have a lot of time to talk, though.  Let’s make sure your bags are transferred and then we’ll get some lunch.”

 

Lara made sure they were seated in the most hidden booth of the airport café.  They ordered sandwiches and salads and the waiter left.  Shelley looked at Lara expectantly.  “First thing’s first.  What was he like?”

Lara smiled at the eagerness in Shelley’s brown eyes.  “Hot.  Sensitive.  Funny.  Young, Spoiled. Sexy.  Sweet.”

“Oh, man,” Shelley moaned.  “I knew it.  So, where are we going again?”

“Boston,” Lara said, sipping at her iced tea.

“And why?”  Shelley asked.  Lara had told her nothing except that they were going to Boston to see Justin…and Lara couldn’t do it alone.

“Let me explain some things first,” Lara said.  “Please don’t interrupt ‘til I’m done.”  She began talking.  Began with David and went from there.  The food came but they didn’t touch it.  Lara couldn’t stop talking and Shelley couldn’t stop listening.  “And that’s it,” Lara finished.  “I don’t feel safe out here…but with Justin I could be.  He’s my best friend, and if he can at least get me started out here in the ‘real world’ I may be able to live again like a normal person.”

“Oh, sweetie.”  Shelley took Lara’s hand and grabbed it. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.  Sorry won’t help.  I need to get over it, and going up there is the first step.”

 

Lara watched the city as the plane descended into Logan Airport.  What if it had all been a joke?  What if Justin didn’t want her to come to Boston?  What if he was really glad to be rid of her, and he was just going to email her out of kindness.

“Stop it,” Shelley demanded as they packed up their carry-on bags.  “He’s a good friend to you.  He wouldn’t lie to you.”

“Do they teach you mind reading out there in California?”  Lara asked, amazed.  Shelley laughed.

“No.  I just know I’d be feeling the same way.  And in your case, the paranoia is justifiably doubled.”

“Exactly.  I mean, I think he won’t mind.  I think he’ll be happy to see me.  But what if he isn’t?”  She babbled as they walked up the tunnel to the airport.

“Then screw him.  We get our luggage and take on Boston all by ourselves,” Shelley told her.  Lara sighed as they headed for baggage.  This was harder then she had ever expected.

They grabbed their bags and grabbed a cab in front of the airport.  Lara gave the name of the hotel Justin said they were staying at and the cabby whistled.  “Whoa, ladies, nice digs.  Hope you can get a room though…it’s full with that whole NSYNC thing going on.”

Shelley grabbed Lara’s hand and squeezed it.  “Oh really?  NSYNC?”

“Yeah…they’re stayin’ there, plus the press conferences have been there, so there are reporters, TV people, everything.”

“TV?”  Lara faltered.  The last thing she needed was to be seen on television.

“Yeah.  Kinda crazy.  Hope you ladies know someone who can get you in.”

“We do,” Shelley said confidently.

They generously tipped the driver and got out of the cab.  Lara looked up nervously.  The hotel was ornate, old, and obviously expensive.  Not that money was an object for her, but she had never felt comfortable in places like this.

“Okay.  I guess I just go up and ask for him,” Lara said, realizing how idiotic it sounded. She whirled around.  “I can’t do it. I’m going back to Pennsylvania.  There’s no way…”

“Get your ass in and go to the desk.  My destiny is upstairs with his bandmates. There is NO way I’m getting this close to Lance and not meeting him,” Shelley snapped, then smiled.  “Please?”

Lara smiled back and led the way into the hotel.  The doorman helped with their bags and stacked them in a corner of the lobby.  “Hi,” she said shyly to the desk clerk.  She noticed the man trying NOT to look at her face, and she blushed a furious red. “I…uh…I…”

“Yes, young lady?” The man asked impatiently.

“We’re here to see Justin Timberlake.  She’s a friend of his,” Shelley piped up.  The man looked down his nose at them.

“Every young lady that’s come through those doors this morning has been a friend of his.  I’m sorry, ladies, but I can’t play these games any longer.”

“Please!”  Lara called as he turned away.  “I swear, it’s true.  Call upstairs.  Tell him Stripes is down here.  Please!”

The man ignored them and continued down the counter to the next person.  She sighed and leaned back against the front desk, tears swimming in her eyes.  “What was that again?”  A feminine voice said.  She turned around to see another desk clerk in front of her.  “What name?”

“Stripes,” Lara whispered to the clerk.  The woman smiled.

“You sound like you really know him.  Get me an autograph, okay?”  Lara nodded as the woman picked up the house phone.

 

“And then she took it ALL OFF,” Joey told a delighted Chris and JC.

“You are joking.  You MUST be joking,” Chris said, his dark eyes huge.

“No lie, I swear,” Joey insisted.

They were lounging around JC’s hotel suite.  Lance was on his cellphone, Joey was talking about the private party he had been at the night before, and Justin was playing around on the Internet.  He hadn’t heard from Lara in over a day and a half, and it worried him.  The phone rang and JC groaned.

“Hold that thought, Joe.”  He answered the phone.  “JC.  What? Um…okay…hold on.”  He placed the phone against his chest.  “Justin. It’s the clerk at the front desk.  Some dude named Stripes is looking for you?”

Justin jumped out of his chair and took a few steps, almost tripping over the cords to his computer.  “What?”

“J, calm down or you’ll sprain the other ankle,” Chris teased.  Joey laughed.

“What did you say?” Justin repeated.

“Stripes.  Someone named…”

“Is it a guy or a girl?”  Justin demanded.

“Hold on. A woman or a man?”  JC said into the phone.  “Woman,” he told Justin.  Justin’s face lit up.

“Oh my God.  Tell them to bring her into the conference room we used yesterday.  Holy shit!” He yelled before tearing out the door.

“Take her to the conference room, please,” JC said before hanging up. He ran after Justin.  JC and Joey grabbed Lance and dragged him out the door, cellphone in hand.

Justin hobbled to the stairwell, ignoring the elevator.  “Justin…Justin…you can’t go down three flights of stairs with a sprained ankle!” Lance yelled.

“Oh yes I can!”  Justin hobbled as fast as he could without falling over.

“Oh, fuck this,” Joey said with a sigh.  He got in front of Justin.  “Hop up.”  Justin hopped onto the larger man’s back and Joey piggybacked him down the rest of the steps.  They darted through the side of the lobby into a back hallway before anyone saw them. 

“Okay…okay…put me down!” Justin yelled, laughing as Joey continued to tear around corners.

 

“You’re supposed to go to conference room two.  Down the hall, second door on the left.  I’ll make sure your stuff stays here,” the woman said.

“Thank you,” Lara said softly.  She stared at the door to the hallway.

“Come ON!”  Shelley said.  She had quickly realized that the best way to scare Lara out of her fear of the world was to yell at her until she did what you wanted.  She tugged Lara’s sleeve and they went through the door to the hallway. 

The door to conference room two was open and they went inside.  A long table at the front proved that the room was indeed for the NSYNC conference.  “Security is probably coming to take us away,” Lara said faintly. “They’re going to…”

“JOEY! Put me down!”  A voice yelled as the doors at the other end of the room burst open.  Lara’s eyes opened wide at the sight of Joey Fatone carrying Justin on his back, followed closely by JC Chasez, Lance Bass and Chris Kirkpatrick.  “Down,” Justin demanded softly as his eyes met Lara’s.  “Hey,” he said quietly.

“Hey,” Lara said uncertainly, fidgeting where she stood.  Justin hobbled a few steps towards her. 

“Don’t I rate?   Don’t I even get a hug?  Even spoiled pop icons get hugs,” he said with a gentle smile.  Lara swallowed a sob and ran to Justin’s open arms.  He held her tight, kissing the top of her head.  “Damn, I can’t believe you’re here.  I’m so glad to see you.  What made you come?”

“I read your email,” Lara said, muffled against his shoulder.  His arms were so familiar, so comforting.  “I missed my friend…and I realized he was right.”

“I missed you too,” Justin said, slowly pulling back.  He looked at Shelley and smiled.  “You must be Shelley.  I’m Justin.”

“Right.  I mean, hi,” she said, shaking his hand and giggling a little.

“Thanks for coming,” he told her, shaking her hand then hugging her.  Lara smiled at the look of pure bliss on Shelley’s face.  “Lara, Shelley, this is JC, Joey, Lance and Chris.  This is Lara.  Not only is she the person who saved me from freezing to death…she is also the reason that I am online all the time.  We’ve been Internet buddies for months now.”

“Hi,” JC said, amazed.

“Did you know this all along?”  Chris demanded.

“Nope.  I found out by accident in her cabin.”

“Wow.  Creepy.  Hi,” Joey shook Lara’s hand, then Shelley’s.

“Do you have somewhere to stay?”  Justin turned back to Lara.  She shook her head.

“No.  We just got here and the cab driver told us the place is packed.  Maybe there’s another cheaper place…”

“No.  Stay here.  You and Shelley can have my suite and I’ll shack up with Lance,” Justin said.

Lara began to protest but was interrupted by Lance.  “Me?  Why me?”

“You’re always on the phone.  You won’t even notice I’m there,” Justin told him.  The others laughed, amazed at how Justin was taking control of the whole situation.  “Let’s go upstairs to my suite and talk.  We’ll have your bags sent up.”  He limped ahead of the group with his arm around Lara. “Damn, it’s good to see you,” he said again as they walked away.

“What’s going on here?”  Chris asked.

“They’re best friends,” Shelley replied.

“Sure they are,” Joey said.  The others looked at him.  “Anyone else getting the more-then-a-friend vibe here?”  Everyone shook their head no but it was obvious they didn’t believe it.  “Thought so.  I hope they aren’t more than friends.  She’s kinda cute.”  They followed Justin and Lara out to the staff elevators.

 

“So, how long will you stay?” Justin demanded as soon as they hit the elevator.

“Well…um…I don’t know…” Lara said uncertainly.  “As long as you’ll have us, I guess.”

“We’ll have you all the way to Florida,” Joey said emphatically.  Everyone stared at him as Lara turned deep crimson red.  “I mean…um…I meant that you could stick around with us.  We wouldn’t mind.  Right, guys?”

“Right,” JC agreed quickly and the others nodded.  Justin gave Joey a weird look before going back to Lara.

“He’s right.  Stay with us a long time.  Come home with us to Florida,” he suggested eagerly.  Lara looked from one man to another before stepping closer to Justin.  Just the whole idea of being that close to men was very foreign to her.  He threw an arm around her shoulders in a comforting manner.

“I’ll see,” she whispered.  The doors opened and Justin led the way to his suite.  When they walked in Lance called downstairs to have the girls’ luggage brought up.

“This is amazing,” Shelley said, walking through the four rooms.  “My apartment at home isn’t this big.”

“I really only use the bedroom and living room,” Justin agreed. 

“God knows you don’t know how to use the kitchen,” JC teased.

“From experience I can tell you he does…he’s very good at cleaning up.  Good at making breakfast, too,” Lara shot back.  Four mouths fell open.

“You cleaned up?”  JC asked, shocked.

“You were up early enough to make breakfast?”  Lance gasped.

“Ha ha very funny.”  Justin led the way into the bedroom.  The bed was still unmade and he blushed slightly at the mess he had left.  “There’s only one bed but if you don’t want to share the sofa opens up.”  He turned to Lara and smiled.  “Bet you like the idea of a real bed, huh?”

“VERY much,” she said, smiling back.

“I’ll sleep on the sofa,” Shelley offered.  “I’m up with the birds, anyway.”

“Why don’t you guys all go out into the living room while I pack my stuff up quick?”  Justin suggested.  The others filed into the living room. Lara stayed back and sat on a chair to watch Justin pack.

“They seem nice,” Lara said finally.

“They are.”  Justin shoved some socks into his small duffel bag.  “They’re like my big brothers.”

“Right.”  Lara nodded.  “They okay?”

Justin knew what she meant by those two words.  “You have nothing to worry about.  Joey is a big flirt sometimes but he’s harmless.  A big teddy bear.”  He sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand.  “I want to tell them. Not the whole story, just that a guy dicked you over and you are a little shy, okay?  Would that be all right?”

Lara smiled at his concern.  “That will be fine.  Hey, just pack what you need.  You can come in here whenever you want to get the rest.”

“Okay.  Thanks.”

Lara grabbed his arm.  “No. Thank you.”

 

When they returned to the living room, the others were in the midst of an animated discussion.  “Hey, J, we were just saying we should blow this town after tomorrow and hit NYC early.  What do you think?”  Chris asked. Justin looked at Lara, who shrugged.

“If we can get away with it, sure.”  He looked at his watch.  “Shit.  We have this party thing tonight that we can’t get out of.  I’m sure you don’t want to come along.  There will be a lot of publicity.”  Justin emphasized the word ‘publicity’ and Lara almost shuddered.

“No thanks.  You guys go and have fun,” she told him. 

“Aw, come on.  I bet you packed something fancy.  Come out with us,” Joey said in a cajoling tone.  Lara’s eyes grew sad.

“No.  No thank you.  I don’t go out much.  Because of my face and all.”

“What’s wrong with your face?”  Joey asked, cocking his head to the side.  Justin could have kissed him for the smile that appeared on Lara’s face.

“Anyway.  We take Lance out all the time and look at HIS face,” Chris added, earning a smack on the head from Lance.

“Let’s go get ready and then we’ll come back and chat before we go.  That way the girls can get unpacked and situated,” JC suggested.  Justin grabbed what he needed from his closet and the guys headed out the door.

“Hey, before you go get ready, can you come to Lance’s suite?  I have to tell you something,” Justin said in a serious tone.

“Um, sure, J,” Lance said.  They all followed Justin into the suite.  He closed the door and took a deep breath. 

“Look, there’s something I have to tell you about Lara.”

“She’s really your cousin and you’ve been doing her for years.  That’s how it works down south, right?” Chris teased.  Lance smacked him again.

“I’m serious, Chris.”  Justin’s eyes were stormy, and Chris instantly sobered.  “Those marks on her face are from an ex-boyfriend.  She broke up with him and he decided no one should ever even want her.”

“Holy shit.” Chris was uncharacteristically serious and quiet.

“He…well…he pretty much scared the shit out of her, obviously.  If she acts kind skittish, that’s why.  Nothing personal against you, except that you’re men.  I didn’t know any of this until we met in person.  She broke down and told me.  If she really tries to hide when we’re out in public, it’s because the guy has threatened to kill her.”  The other men gasped as one.  “Anyway, I just wanted to explain.  And be nice to her, okay?  I mean REALLY nice. She freaking saved my life in the woods.”

“Curly, okay already.  We will be angels,” Joey promised.

“It’s a big step from hellish studmuffin to angel, Joe,” Chris pointed out as they filed into the hallway towards their suites.

 

“Okay, how awesome was that!”  Shelley began to jump up and down on the sofa.  “They were here.  In this room. I talked to them.  Had a conversation!”

Lara laughed.  “Please, Shel, don’t hold anything back.”

“I can’t believe it.  DAMN.”

“While you’re cursing I’m gonna unpack my bag and take a shower,” Lara told her, heading for the bathroom.

“No, go shower.  Let me unpack first.  I need something to do,” Shelley told her.  Lara grabbed her shampoo and bathroom things and headed for the giant bathroom with the whirlpool tub and separate shower.

“Okay, I could SO get used to this,” Lara sighed.  She stepped in under the hot water and soaked for over twenty minutes. 

She whistled as she towel-dried her hair, wrapping another big fluffy towel around her body.  This was so incredible.  She loved her cabin but had missed special things like hot hot water, fluffy towels, and king-sized beds.  For once she didn’t even stare at her reflection in the mirror and mope.

“Okay…Shel…I’m done!”  Lara yelled, opening the door.  She screamed when she saw Justin in the bedroom, looking for something in the dresser.

 

Justin whirled around when he heard Lara scream.  “OhmyGod!  Are you okay?  I’m sorry…I forgot something in the dresser and…oh, God. Will you be alright?”  He rushed over to give her a hug.

She began to giggle at his over-concern.  “No, Justin, I’m fine.  You just scared me like, oh, wasn’t expecting to see someone scared me.  I’m fine.”

“Okay.”  Justin pulled back and looked at her.  Her wet hair hung down her back and tiny droplets of water still clung to her bare shoulders.  She clutched the towel with both hands and held it together tightly, but he could still see a peek of thigh where the ends came together.  “I’m…um…sorry.”  He moved away quickly.

 

Lara wondered why he moved away from her as if she had suddenly acquired leprosy. She swallowed deeply as she took a good look at him.  He was dressed classically for once, with dark blue dress pants and a patterned green and blue silk shirt.  She swallowed deeply.  He looked very grown up and very handsome.  “Wow,” she said softly.  “Different look for you.  I love it.”

“Thank you.” Justin blushed.

“Did you…um…did you find what you were looking for?”

“Oh, yeah…” Justin slid something into his pocket.  “I’ll wait in the living room for you.”  He darted out into the other room, closing the door behind him.

Lara quickly dried off and got dressed, wondering what had made him run away.  She stared into space for a moment, holding her sweatshirt in her hand.  He had looked so good…smelled so good…for a moment she had remembered what it was like to be attracted to someone.  NO.  No way, she told herself.  Justin is a friend.  Just a friend.

 

“Oh…go AWAY!”  Lara grumbled, burying her head under her pillow as the phone rang.  She had laid awake late into the night, flipping channels and trying not to think about her situation and what she should do next.  The phone continued to ring.  She sighed and grabbed it, pulling it under the pillow.  “Yes?”

“Morning, sweetie.  Bus leaves in an hour.”

Lara groaned at Justin’s words.  Before the guys had gone to their dinner the night before, they had agreed to hop onto one of the busses and head for NYC early.  “Already?”

“Yes, already.  Lance and I have been up for an hour, trying to wake JC up.  Meet you downstairs at ten?”

“Okay,” Lara sighed.  She hung up and went out to the living room to wake Shelley.

 

“I don’t like this,” a large black man was saying to Joey and Chris as Lara and Shelley reached the back parking lot an hour later.  “What if something happens?”

“Mikey, you know exactly where we’re going.  You even have the numbers for our rooms at the Milford,” Joey pointed out.

“Please? Let us go guardless for once,” Chris begged.

“Fine,” Mikey sighed.  Chris hugged him as Joey let out a triumphant yell.

“Hey,” Lance called to the girls as he and Justin came out of the hotel, followed by a stumbling JC.

“Need…bunk…pillows…” JC ignored the others and headed for the bus.

“JC doesn’t do mornings well,” Justin explained.

“You ladies sleep okay?” Lance asked.

“Like a baby,” Shelley told him.  Lara just shrugged, causing Justin to give her a concerned look.

“Problems sleeping?  You were in the room next to Joey, right?”  Chris asked, smacking Joey in the head.  “Dammit, Joe, I told you about that.  Use your pillow to muffle your moans if you’re gonna watch the Playboy Channel.”  Chris gently took Lara by the arm and led her into the bus.  “So, tell me about these books…are they smut, or should they be classified as soft porn?”

 

Justin kept a careful eye on Lara the entire bus ride.  He chatted with Lance and Shelley, but his gaze kept wandering to where Lara sat between Chris and Joey on a sofa.  Chris was friendly to everyone but Joey was treating her with a gentle flirtatiousness that surprised Justin.

“Can we stop now?”  Chris whined at about twelve-thirty.  “I’m hungry!”

“Can we?”  Lance asked the driver, who nodded. 

“Diner about thirty miles up the road.”

“Can your stomach wait that long, Chris?” Lance asked.

“If it has to.”  Chris pulled Lara up from the sofa.  “Come on.  Lemme show you my record collection.  YOU’RE old enough to appreciate it.”  He gave his bandmates an evil glare before taking her back to his storage area.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Joey pounced on Justin.  “She’s cute.”

“Yes, Joey.”  Justin knew where this was going.

“And she doesn’t have a boyfriend, right?”

Lance glared at him.  “Joe, she’s been living on her own for like two years now.  Remember what Justin told us last night.”

“Right…right…I know.  I meant a RECENT boyfriend.”  Joey stared pointedly at Justin, who laughed.

“Who, ME?  Oh, no WAY!  We are just friends.  Practically best friends.  I wouldn’t ruin that with a relationship.”  Justin rolled his eyes and the others exchanged glances.

“You’re full of shit, Justin,” JC called sleepily from his bunk.

“Shut up, JC.  Go back to sleep,” Justin yelled back, annoyed.  “Seriously…she’s been hurt too bad for me to even think that, and besides, it would be like incest or something.  She’s like my big sister.”

“You sure about that, J?” Lance asked slowly.  Justin stared at him, wondering what was going on.

“Yes, I’m SURE,” Justin snapped back.  A big smile lit up Joey’s face.

“Classic.”

“Joey, if you so much as fucking break one of her fingernails, I will kill you.  Understand?”  Justin had a hold of the front of Joey’s Superman t-shirt before anyone knew what was going on.  “Don’t FUCK with her.  She’s too special for that.”

“Yeah…Justin…sure…of course not.  I wouldn’t even want to do something like that…” Joey promised.  Justin slowly released him.

 

“Oh, man.  I can’t believe this.  All Duran Duran on vinyl!”  Lara exclaimed as she pawed through the crates of records.

“I know…the eighties kicked ass, didn’t they?”  Chris said with a smile.  “And you’re old enough to understand that.  Justin thinks the eighties were an embarrassment.”

“Wasn’t he BORN in the eighties?”  Lara asked.  Chris laughed so hard he almost fell off the chair he was sitting on.

“No wonder he was obsessed with talking to you,” he said when he caught his breath.

“What do you mean?”  Lara said softly.

“He was ALWAYS online.  Every free minute.  Guess he was looking for you.”  Chris began to restack his records as Lara stared out the window, deep in thought.  She jumped as the bus pulled off the interstate.

“We’re stopping.”

“Lunch,” Chris told her, holding out his hand to help her up.  She shrank back.  “What?  What’s wrong?”

“I…I don’t like being around people.”  Lara had easily forgotten her scarred face while around the others but now reality sank back in.  “I’ll just stay here.  You can bring me something.”

“No, I will NOT bring you something,” Chris told her.  He held her hand firmly.  “You’re coming out with us.  You are gonna sit next to me and eat lunch.”

“No,” she said, shaking her head.  She tried to pull her hand from Chris’ but he teasingly held on.

“Come on,” he cajoled. 

“NO!”  Lara yelled, yanking her hand away with all her might.  Justin came running.

“What’s going on?  Chris, what the hell are you doing?” He yelled.

“Nothing…nothing, Justin.  My fault.  I’m sorry, Chris,” she said, blushing a deep red.

“It’s okay…I promise,” Chris said, his eyes full of pity.  “I’ll be up front.”  He dashed up to the front of the bus.

“What happened?  Are you okay?”

“He held my hand and wouldn’t let go.  I freaked.  That’s all, I swear,” Lara told him, trying to smile.  “He wanted me to go in for lunch and I said no.”

“You said no?”  Justin gave her a hug.  “Honey, you know we’ll protect you.  Nothing will happen to you.”

“It’s not that.  What if people…look…at me?”  Lara asked him sorrowfully.

“Then you look back and stick your tongue out at them,” Justin told her.  She couldn’t help but smile.

“THAT’S mature.”

“But it works.  It gives them something to REALLY stare at.”  Justin smiled back.  “Sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, Justin.  Chris is a sweetheart.  I really like him,” she told him before going back up front.  Justin stared at her back.

 

When they arrived at the Milford Lara was shocked to realize that the seven of them, plus four bodyguards, had been given a whole floor for their use.

“It’s safer, both for us and the hotel,” Joey explained as they all crowded into an elevator.  “This way they can secure the floor and not inconvenience anyone.”

“Are you sure you don’t want your own room?” Chris asked Lara.  “There are only ten rooms on this floor but we can ask Mikey and someone to shack up.  They do it all the time.”

“No.  If Shel doesn’t mind sharing, I’d rather stay with her,” Lara said shyly.

“I’d rather you DID stay with me,” Shelley added quickly.  She knew that Lara was still slightly overwhelmed by everything.

“I’m right next door if you need anything,” Justin told Lara.

“And I’m right across the hall,” Joey added, earning a glare from Justin.

“We really should check in with management, so we can have the next two days to ourselves,” Lance said apologetically.  “We won’t be able to do dinner tonight.”

“That’s right.  We have two free days before two days of promo crap,” JC grumbled.

“I’ll call you when we get in tonight,” Justin told Lara.  She shook her head.

“Not necessary,” she told him.  “Shel and I are grownups.  We’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Justin said worriedly.  He kissed her cheek and went into his room.

“Are you sure he’s only nineteen?”  Shelley asked Lara.  “He’s acting more paternal than my DAD.”  Lara laughed as Shelley entered their room.

“Lara.  Wait.  Can I talk to you for a second?”  Chris stopped Lara at her door as everyone else went into their rooms.  He moved them to the side so the bellhops could bring up their luggage.  “We won’t get back until around eight or so, but would you want to go someplace for dinner?  Someplace NOT fast food and NOT a diner.”

“Are you asking me on a date?”  Lara blushed.

“Yes.  Well…um…no.  Um…well…not really.”  The usually witty Chris was having an obvious problem with words.  “You could bring Shelley, and I could invite…”

“Lance?”  Lara suggested quickly.

“Okay…Lance.  I figure we’ll be done between seven-thirty and eight, and it will take a good thirty minutes to get back.  Should I call you when we leave?”

“That sounds good,” Lara said.  She smiled and darted into the room. Closing the door behind her, she said, “Shel, did you bring anything nice to wear?”

 

Twenty minutes later, Lara was walking out of the hotel, a scarf wrapped tightly around her face.  Shelley had almost screamed when Lara told her about their dinner date with Lance and Chris. She HAD brought something along to wear, but Lara had to go shopping.

Lara pulled her coat tighter around her.  New York winters could be so brutal.  She looked up at the street sign on the corner and gasped.  She was one block away from the building of her publisher.  It was almost five-thirty, but she decided to take a chance.

Lara walked up to the front desk, keeping a tight hold on her scarf.  “Melissa Reed, please.”

“And who may I say is here?”  The snooty-looking receptionist asked.

“Katherine Morgan,” Lara answered in a tone just as snooty.

The receptionist’s attitude changed.  “Oh!  Ms. Morgan!  One moment!”  She phoned upstairs.  “Miss Reed will see you immediately.  Fourth floor, second office on the right.”

“Thank you.”  Lara confidently strode to the elevator.  Once inside, she finally allowed herself to rest against the elevator wall.

 

“Oh, man…come on!”  Shelley whined as the phone rang at seven.  She was deep in study of her wardrobe, trying to decide what would impress Lance the most.  “Hello?”

“Hi, Shelley.  It’s Justin.”

“Hey,” Shelley replied with a smile.  It was still difficult to believe that she was on the phone with a member of NSYNC.

“We have a two second break and I thought I’d call.  Is Lara there?”

“No, I’m sorry.  She’s out buying a new outfit for dinner.”

“Wow.  Where are you two going?”

“I’m not sure.  Lance and Chris are taking us out for dinner.”  Shelley plugged in her curling iron.  “When do you think you guys will be done?”

“Um, eight, I think.”

“Cool.  Tell them we’re really looking forward to this, okay?”

“I will.  Bye, Shelley.”

“Bye.”  Shelley hung up and went back to staring at her closet.

 

Justin hit ‘end’ on his cellphone and made a beeline for Chris.  “You’re taking Lara out for dinner?”

Chris sighed.  They had never seen Justin in protective mode before, and it was getting annoying.  “No, I asked if she wanted to go for something to eat, and I suggested that Shelley come along, and Lara suggested I ask Lance.  Guess Shelley has the hots for him or something.”

“Or Lara does,” Justin muttered.  He had noticed Chris and Lance’s clothes but hadn’t said anything.  Lance wore a nice pine green sweater and black dress pants, while Chris had on a wine red long sleeved shirt and khaki’s.

“Is this a problem, J?  I thought you guys were just friends.”

Justin glared at him.  “We ARE.  Like I said, she’s like a sister to me.”

Joey, who had been eavesdropping during the entire conversation, said, “Incest is best, put your…”

Lance smacked him before he could finish.  “Come on, guys.  Let’s wrap this up so we can leave.”

“I hope you have fun,” Justin told Chris.

“Thanks.  And before you say anything else, I promise to protect her and not lay a hand on her,” Chris said before returning to the conference room.

“You’d better not,” Justin said to Chris’ retreating back.

 

 

“Did they call yet?”  Lara asked anxiously, bursting through the door with her arms full of bags.

Shelley looked at the clock.  Seven-thirty.  “Chris and Lance didn’t call, but Justin did.”

“Justin?”  Lara called over her shoulder as she peeled off clothing on her way to the shower.  “What did he want?”

“To check up on you.”  Shelley followed Lara and sat on the edge of the bed.  “It’s so cute.”

Lara poked her head around from inside the bathroom and rolled her eyes.  “Puhleeze.  He’s acting more like a big brother than a nineteen year old.”

“Maybe he wants to be more,” Shelley suggested.  Lara rolled her eyes again then went back to the shower.

“Doubtful.”

“So he’s fair game then?”  Shelley called over the running water.

The water stopped and Lara poked her head out once more.  “Well, uh, I guess.  He IS kinda young, though.  And what about Lance?”

“He’s yummy,” Shelley said, a dreamy look in her eye.  “But so is Justin.”  The phone rang and Lara hurried back to the shower as Shelley went to answer it.

 

“You’re sure I look okay?”  Lara turned in front of the mirror.

“Yes,” Shelley announced with a sigh.  She eyed her own floral print dress critically.

“I don’t want to embarrass them.  I mean, my face is bad enough.”  Lara looked at herself carefully.  She wore flowing dark blue pants and a sleeveless matching turtleneck, covered by a short blue jacket.

“Lara, this is New York City.  There are REAL freaks out there.  No one even notices you.”

“Whatever,” Lara mumbled as someone knocked on the door.  She tried not to run to answer it.  “Oh, hi,” she said when she saw Justin.

“Glad to see you, too,” he said with a frown.  “You look…wow.”  His blue eyes traveled from her low-heeled shoes up to the still damp hair piled on her head in a large clip.

“Thanks,” Lara replied, blushing.

“Um, Lance and Chris are downstairs in the limo.  They thought it would be easier that way,” he told her.

“Oh, okay.  Come on, Shel!  They’re downstairs!”  Lara called over her shoulder.  Shelley grabbed her purse and hurried to the door.

“Hi, Shel, you look nice,” Justin said politely.

“Thanks, Justin.  Ready?”  Shelley turned to Lara.

“As I’ll ever be.”

Shelley started down the hall and Lara began to follow her.  Justin grabbed her hand.  “Have a really good time.  You look beautiful, and Chris is a nice guy,” he told her.  “I know you’re nervous, but there is NO reason to be.”

“Sometimes I feel you see right through to my heart,” Lara said with a smile.

“That’s what friends are for.”  He kissed her forehead.  “Go have fun.”

 

The chauffeur held the door open and Lara and Shelley tried to enter the limo as gracefully as possible.  They sat on the seat opposite Chris and Lance.

“Hope you weren’t waiting TOO long,” Lance said with a smile.

“Oh, no.  Lara needed the extra time, anyway,” Shelley replied.  Lara shoved her.

“It was time well spent.  You look beautiful.”  Chris handed Lara a single white rose.  She gasped.

“White roses are my favorite flower!  How did you know?”

“A little brillo birdie told me,” he replied with a grin.

“Oh, great.  I didn’t know you were bringing flowers.  Make me look bad, why don’t ya?”  Lance moaned.  “I’m sorry, Shelley.”

“It’s okay.”  She turned to Lara.  “Why were you so late, anyway?”

“I stopped and met my publisher, Melissa.  We’ve never met face to face before.”

“And she still agreed to print your work?”  Chris asked as the limo pulled up in front of a small Italian restaurant.

Lara nodded.  “I simply told her that because of personal issues I couldn’t meet with her.  Guess my work was good, because she said she didn’t care.”

“It IS good,” Shelley told her.

They were seated at a secluded table in the back.  Lara tried to get the seat with its back to the rest of the room.  Chris held out the chair to the left, but Lara remained standing behind the chair of her choice.  Chris quickly moved over to pull it out, smiling apologetically.

“I haven’t been out this nice in AGES,” Lara said.

“This place is FANTASTIC,” Lance told her.  “We try to sneak out here whenever we’re in the city.”

Dinner passed rather uneventfully.  Lara became more relaxed, but still felt as if everyone was staring at her.  Chris did his best to distract her, telling her stories of touring to make her laugh.  What really made her laugh, however, was when Chris kept exaggerating the truth just to get a rise out of Lance.

“No, I swear,” Chris told them.  “One of the tour busses carries NOTHING but mousse for Lance’s hair.”

“You are so full of shit, Kirkpatrick,” Lance snapped, self-consciously running his fingers through his short hair.

“Whatever.  Notice how he had to struggle to get his fingers through that mess,” Chris pointed out.  Lara howled with laughter.  Lance was handsome and sweet, but he just couldn’t keep up with Chris’ quick wit.

“Dessert, ladies?”  Lance asked with a sigh.

“Ugh, no, thank you.  I feel like a cow already,” Shelley moaned.

“You definitely don’t look like one,” he replied, making her blush.

“We’re only about ten blocks from the hotel, and it isn’t TOO cold out.  Want to walk back?”  Chris asked Lara.  She looked down at her shoes.  They weren’t TOO high…and she figured she could make it ten blocks.  She looked at Shelley. 

“Shel?”

“I should be okay.  My coat’s not too heavy, but if we walk fast…”

“I’ll keep you warm,” Lance said.  They all stared at him and he turned a furious red.  “I mean…I…well…”

“Check, please!”  Chris called.

 

Chris and Lara walked a few yards behind Lance and Shelley.  Lance and Shelley were walking fast, but he had an arm around her shoulder and she was snuggled tight against him.  “Looks like they’re getting along well,” Lara remarked.

Chris took her hand and tucked it through his arm, pulling her closer but not too close.  “I hope so.  He’s been lonely since he broke up with Danielle.”

“Danielle?”

“Topanga from Boy Meets World?”  Chris asked. 

“Oh, yes,” she said, nodding.  Lara knew all about that, of course, but didn’t want to sound like an obsessed fan.

“He needs someone nice,” Chris continued.

“So does Shel,” Lara replied.  “How about you?”

“Oh, I date people here and there.  I’m not sure I’m ready for something serious right now.  I mean, I wanna settle down sometime, but maybe after this promo thing I’ll start looking.”

Lara laughed.  “You don’t want something serious but you wanna settle down and you’re gonna start looking.”

Chris laughed as well.  “You’re right.  Doesn’t make much sense.”  They decided to take the steps up to their floor.  “Not tomorrow night but the next night we’ll probably all go out to a club or something.  Interested?”

“I guess so,” Lara said slowly.  They turned the corner to their hall and she suddenly yanked Chris back.

“What?”

“Look,” she whispered.  They peeked around the corner and saw Lance and Shelley in a passionate embrace.  They giggled like school children and went back around the corner. They waited until they heard two doors close and went out into the hall. 

Chris walked Lara to her door.  “I had a good time tonight.”

“Me too,” she said with a shy smile.

“Would it be okay if I kissed you?  Nothing like Lance or anything,” he said quickly, and she laughed.

“Yes, that would be fine.”  She closed her eyes and turned her face up to his.  Chris’ lips gently met hers for a brief moment, then he pulled away.

“See you tomorrow,” he told her, then turned towards his door.  Lara went into her room. 

Neither of them saw Justin pull his head back into his room and quietly close his door.

 

The next day Lara and Shelley slept in until ten.  When they wandered down to the hotel’s dining room for brunch around eleven-thirty, everyone but Joey and JC were already at a long table.

“Hey,” Shelley said sleepily, plopping down onto an empty chair next to Lance.

“Hey,” he replied with a smile, kissing her cheek.  She blushed prettily and Lara couldn’t help but smile.

“Hi there.”  Chris jumped up to pull out the chair next to his but she gently shook her head.  She sat down in a chair at the end of the table, between Lance and Justin.

“Hungry?”  Justin asked her.  She shook her head again. 

“Just coffee and toast.  I’m not big on breakfast.”

“Sounds like you’re hung over,” Lance teased.  She stuck her tongue out at him.

“You know better then that,” she told him.

Chris got up to use the restroom and Justin leaned in to talk softly with Lara.  “Did you have a good time last night?”

She nodded.  “You were right.  Chris is a sweetheart…I actually wasn’t afraid of him.”

“Good,” Justin said gently, smiling at her.  “He’s scary sometimes, but nothing to really be afraid of.”

“I heard that,” Chris said as he returned to the table.  He took his seat on Justin’s other side.  The three of them chatted as they ate.  Lance and Shelley were in their only little world, giggling and talking softly.  Chris rolled his eyes.  “One date.  They go out on one date and now it’s moonlight and roses.”

“And what’s wrong with moonlight and roses?”  Lara wanted to know.  Chris blushed slightly.

“Well…um…nothing…I guess.”

“All of Katherine Morgan’s books are about moonlight and roses,” Justin informed him with a knowing smirk.  Lara stared at him.

“And how would you know?”

“I’ve read six of them,” Justin said softly.  Her mouth dropped open.  “I finished the last one last night.”

“Wow,” she said softly, flattered.

“Hey, guys,” Joey said, almost stumbling to the table.  He ordered coffee and an omelet from the waiter.

“Hey, Joe,” Lance said before turning back to Shelley.

“So…what’s on the agenda for today?  Are we hanging together or going solo?” Joey asked.

“It’s up to you guys.  We don’t have to do a big thing,” Chris replied.  “What do you want to do?  This is the one city where we can almost go unnoticed most of the time,” he told Lara.

“I really don’t care,” she replied.

“Shelley and I are gonna go sightseeing on our own,” Lance informed everyone.  Lara laughed at Shelley’s crimson face.

“Of course you are.  Lansten, there ARE other places to show her besides your hotel room,” Joey said.  Lance threw a piece of sausage at him. 

“We’re going out to Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty,” Lance told him.

“Brrr.  That will be cold,” Lara said.  She smiled at Shelley, her eyes telling her friend that she knew she’d have no problem staying warm with Lance by her side.

“I thought that maybe we could go see a show or something.  Catch a matinee,” Chris said to Lara.  Her eyes lit up.

“Really?  Oh, wow.  I would love that!  I haven’t seen a show on Broadway in FOREVER.”  She turned to Justin.  “You’re coming, right?  Joey?”

“No thanks.  I think I’ll head back home for a while,” Joey said.

“Justin?”

“Um…well…” he looked at Chris hesitantly. He didn’t want to intrude.

“Sure.  Come along,” Chris told him.  Justin studied his friend’s brown eyes and realized he was being honest.

“Okay.  I’ll go wake JC up.”

“No, I will.  I’m done here.”  Chris stood.   “I’ll call for tickets while I’m up there.  Anything in particular you want to see?”

“Lion King,” Lara answered quickly.

“Lion King it is.  See you guys later.”  Chris walked off towards the elevator.

“I’m gonna go get cleaned up,” Lance said, standing.  Shelley stood as well.

“Me too.  I’ll see you later, Lara.”

Joey was in his own little breakfast world so Lara and Justin talked quietly together.  “You know, maybe Chris didn’t want us to come along.  Maybe he just wanted it to be you and him,” Justin suggested.  Her eyes widened.

“Oh…I doubt that.  We’re just friends.”  Justin raised one eyebrow.  “No…really.  We had a nice time last night.  He’s a riot.”

Justin thought about mentioning the kiss but decided against it.  “Well…maybe he saw last night as a date.”

“You think so?”  Lara was sincerely shocked.  “You think he likes me?”

“How could he help it?”  Justin asked with a smile.  “You’re pretty fun to hang out with.”

“Oh…wow…thanks…” Lara said, punching him in the shoulder.  “I don’t know though…I just…wow.”  She thought back to the kiss outside her door. That kiss had confused her and kept her awake most of the night.  “I don’t know if I can think that way about him.”

“You don’t know if you can think that way about ANY man,” Justin corrected gently.  Lara stared at him.  Once again he had seen right through her.

“You should go to school to be a psychologist,” she told him.  He blushed slightly and played with his fork.

“Nah.  I’m not smart like Lance or Chris.  I could never do that kind of thing.”  Lara was saddened by the look in his eyes.  He had never mentioned this before, but it was obvious that he really felt he couldn’t achieve something like that.

She placed a hand over his.  “Justin, you can do anything you want to.”  Tears sprang to her eyes at a certain memory, and she quickly willed them back.  “Just because people tell you something negative about yourself, it doesn’t mean it’s true.  Trust me on that.”

Justin reached up to touch her cheek and drew his hand back just in time.  “Thank you.  Well, I need to go up and take a shower.  I’ll see you later.  Later, Joe.”

“Later,” Joey said from his plate of omelet.

Lara finished her coffee and started to stand.  “I'll see you later, Joey.  Have a nice time back home.”

“Hey, wait.  I’ll walk up with you.”  Joey finished his breakfast and stood.  They waited in front of the elevator.  “You doing anything after your show today?”

“Not that I’m aware of but don’t quote me on it.  These last few days have been like a whirlwind,” she said with a laugh.

“I know a really funky club we could go to.  Kickass music and a great crowd.  Really relaxed.  Wanna go?”

Lara stared at him, not knowing what to say.  Joey was nice and a lot of fun, but she didn’t know if she could feel comfortable with him one on one.  There was a little something in his eyes that reminded her of David.  “Joey…I…um…I thought we were all going out tomorrow night.”

“We will, but I just thought…” Joey took a long look at her and saw the uncertainty in her eyes.  “No sweat.  I’m used to clubbing every night…you’re not.  It’s cool.  Maybe we could all go to a movie or something.”

Lara smiled.  “That sounds great.”  The door opened and she hurried to her room before he could say anything else.

 

“Oh, that was good.  Thanks so much for suggesting it!”  Lara said to Chris as they left the theater.

“It WAS good,” Justin admitted.  “Those costumes were amazing.”

“I’d like to write something like that,” JC said.  Chris and Justin stared at him.  “What?  Those lyrics were amazing, and the music really sticks with you.”

“Wow, JC…I didn’t know you were into stuff like musicals,” Chris said finally.  JC shrugged. 

“There ARE some things you don’t know about me, Chris.”  JC shoved his hands into his coat pockets and walked ahead of them. Justin hurried to catch up to him.

“Is he okay?”  Lara asked, concerned.

“Yeah.  JC gets moody sometimes,” Chris said.  Lara tucked her hand through his arm as she had the night before.  “Dinner tonight?”

“Joey said something about a movie.  I think that sounds fun,” Lara said quickly.  She didn’t know if she wanted dinner with Chris or not.

“Maybe we could just rent something,” Chris suggested.  “We could all pile up in someone’s room…order in room service, make popcorn…”

“I like that idea!”  Lara said with a big smile.  “Hey, Justin!”  She jogged up and broke in between Justin and JC.  “How does renting a movie sound?”

“Classic.  Just don’t let Chris choose it,” Justin said. 

“Why?”

“He chooses these cheesy movies that are so stupid!”  JC informed her.

“I do not!” Chris called from behind them.

“Do too!”  Justin and JC yelled together.  Chris grabbed a few handfuls of snow and JC and Justin took off through the crowd.

 

“Oh God…Oh God…ohgodohgodohgod.”  Lara hid her eyes in the closest shoulder, which just happened to be Lance’s.  “Oh.  Shit.  Sorry.”  She scrunched a bit to her left and hit Chris’ arm.  He put it around her and she buried her face in his chest.  “I cannot believe you guys rented this.”

“What’s the problem? This is great!”  Joey said enthusiastically from his seat across the room.  Shelley, Lance, Lara and Chris were on the sofa, with JC stretched out on the floor and Justin leaning against the sofa as he sat on the floor by Lara’s feet.

Justin looked up at Lara.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t know they were renting this, or I would have said something.”

JC grabbed the box and looked at it.  “What’s wrong with Deep Blue Sea?”

“Sharks,” Shelley told him.  She’s petrified of sharks.  Like TOTALLY petrified.”

“Really?”  Joey looked at her.  “You live in Pennsylvania.  There aren’t sharks there.”

“There doesn’t have to be logic behind it.  I just hate them.  What logic is there in dying your hair Elmo red?”  Lara said as she stood up. “I’ll make more popcorn.”

“You’re such a ‘tard, Joe,” Chris said as he threw a pillow at Joey.

“Pause it,” Justin said, hopping to his feet.  He followed Lara into the kitchenette. “You okay?” He asked softly.

She nodded.  “I just hide my face at the shark parts.”

He smiled.  “I think most of the movie is shark parts.”

“Then I guess I’ll be getting to know Chris’ sweatshirt up close and personal,” she giggled.  Justin pulled her into a surprise hug.

“I love hearing you laugh.  You looked so sad when I met you that first day.  I’m glad you like being here with me and my friends.”

“I do like you and your friends,” she replied, burying her face in his shoulder.  She inhaled deeply.  She didn’t know what cologne Justin was wearing, but she liked it.

Justin took a deep breath and inhaled Lara’s shampoo.  It smelled like flowers or something…not roses…he knew she hated roses…but flowers.  He liked it.  “Will you come to Florida with us?”  He pulled back.  “I know already that Shelley’s planning on going back with Lance.  Will you come along to keep her company?”

“Oh…I don’t know…” Lara stammered.

“It’s the beach,” he reminded her and she poked him.

“No fair.  That’s not fair at all.  You know how much I love the beach.”

“Exactly.  Think about it.  We have two more days of work here then we go back.  I’d like it if you came along…and I’m sure Chris would, too.”  He returned to the kitchen as Lara slowly began putting bags of popcorn into the microwave.  She stared at the rotating bag, deep in thought.

When she returned to the living room area with three big bowls of popcorn, every pillow from the hotel suite was piled on her seat.  “What’s up with that?”  She handed a bowl to Lance and one to JC, and placed the third on the end table.

“We thought you might want to build yourself a fort…to protect you from the sharks,” JC teased.  She grabbed a pillow and wailed on him with it.

“Ha ha so funny.”  She threw the pillows to the floor and plopped back down.  Chris casually placed his arm across the back of the sofa, and she unconsciously snuggled closer to him.

“This is what I should have sent you for your birthday,” Shelley told Lara as Justin pressed play on the remote.  He paused it immediately.

“Birthday?”

“It was my birthday on November 21,” Lara said softly.

“You didn’t tell me,” he said accusingly. 

“Well, I didn’t want you trying to send me something. I wouldn’t have given you my address, you know. The one Shelley has is at a PO box in town.”

“That was only three weeks ago,” Lance commented.

“Damn…do you guys realize that Christmas is only two weeks away?”  Joey smacked himself in the forehead.

“Yes…Joe…” JC said slowly.  “That’s why we’re going home.”

“I know, but I haven’t even BEGUN to Christmas shop.  I hope we’ll have some time tomorrow afternoon after this press thing.”

“We should,” Lance said, thinking about it for a moment.  “I think tomorrow’s thing is early.  The next day is all afternoon.”

“Cool.”  Joey settled back in satisfaction.

“You’ll come to Florida with us, right?”  Chris said softly to Lara.  Justin overheard and turned to look at her.  “I’d love for you to spend Christmas in Florida.  You could stay with me and my family.”

“Oh…I don’t know.  I wouldn’t want to intrude,” Lara said hesitantly.  She looked at Justin and he immediately understood.

“You can stay with me and my family.  We all end up together somehow anyway,” Justin said.  Chris looked from one to the other and just nodded.

“Okay…I’ll come along,” Lara said finally.

“Good,” Chris said, smiling at her.  Justin smiled at her as well and pushed play.

 

“Hey…Justin…can I talk to you for a minute?”  Chris asked Justin as they all filed out of JC’s hotel suite after the video was over.

“Sure.”  They walked to Justin’s suite and went in.

“Um…is something going on between you and Lara?  I don’t want to jump into something that could be…you know.”  Chris sat down on a chair and looked at Justin.

“How many times do I have to tell you guys that we are JUST FRIENDS!”  Justin practically yelled, flopping down on the sofa and covering his face with his arm.

“Okay…okay…don’t scream at me.  It just got kinda weird there, and she seemed really into staying with you instead of me.”

Justin sat up and looked at his friend.  “Oh, no, Chris…it’s not like that at all.  Remember how I told you some shit happened to her with her ex?  She’s just still kinda wary of men, that’s all.  She feels most comfortable with me…like I’m her brother or something.”

“Oh, no,” Chris moaned, burying his face in his hands.

“What?”

“I kissed her,” Chris continued.  “I didn’t know it was that bad and I asked to kiss her and I kissed her.  I’m surprised I didn’t scare the shit out of her.”

“You kissed her?”  Justin tried to act surprised.  “But you asked and she said yes, right?”

“Yeah, and it wasn’t some tongue-down-her-throat Joey kiss.  It was just a quick peck on the lips, I swear.”

“I see,” Justin said. “I’m sure it’s okay then.”

“I hope so.  I’d hate to scare her.”  Chris grew uncharacteristically serious.  “I like her a lot, Justin.  I don’t even see the scars anymore.”

“Neither do I.  The problem is she sees them enough for the both of us.”  Justin walked Chris to the door.

 

Lara jumped at the sound of someone knocking on her door.  She had quickly changed into her flannel pajamas when she returned to the room, and she was just pouring herself a glass of apple juice.  She padded over in her bare feet and looked through the peephole.  She opened the door.  “Chris?”

“I’m sorry…you’re going to bed?”  Chris smiled at the comical sight of her flannel pajamas and pigtails.

“Soon.  Come on in.”  She opened the door and he walked in.  “What’s up?”

“I just wanted to apologize…for asking to kiss you.  It’s probably moving kind of fast and I don’t want to scare you.”  His dark eyes were serious. 

“What did Justin tell you?”  Lara almost snapped.

“Just that your ex was an ass…and that he’s the one who marked your face.  He didn’t say it but I assume he did some other kind of nasty shit, too, and that it made you not too fond of men.”

“Understatement of the year,” she replied with a wry smile.

“Anyway, I just wanted to apologize.”  He walked over to her and kissed her forehead.  “Sleep good.  I’ll see you after our thing tomorrow.”

“Chris.  Wait.”  She grabbed his shirt and pulled him back.  “Kiss me.”

“What?”

“Kiss me…please,” she asked, her blue eyes begging.  Chris cupped her face in his hands and gently pressed his lips to hers.  He pulled back quickly and looked at her.  “Again,” she said quietly.  He kissed her longer this time, wrapping his arms around her.  They kissed softly for about five minutes, then he pulled away.

“Whoa,” he said, taking a deep breath.  He smiled at her.  “I felt that in my knees.”

She smiled back.  “Thank you.”

He laughed.  “Any time.  I’d better go.  I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Lara shut the door behind Chris and leaned against it. She reached up and touched her lips, frowning.  She hated to even think about it…but she realized that she had felt nothing in the five minutes of kissing Chris like what she had felt in one kiss from Justin.

 

“He’ll love it,” Shelley said as Lara came out of the bedroom dressed and ready for their night at the club.

“Who?  I’m not dressing for anyone.”  Lara whirled around in front of the mirror.  Her short maroon dress swirled around her knees, and the top dipped just enough to show a hint of cleavage. 

“J…I mean, Chris,” Shelley caught herself quickly.  She had already decided that Justin had it bad for Lara, though he wouldn’t admit it.  She thought Chris was great, but NOT the one for Lara.  Like a good friend, however, she kept her opinions to herself, knowing full well that Lara would deny it as well.

“I decided to take Justin’s advice and just have fun for once…forget my face.”

“Good.  We sure as hell have forgotten it,” Shelley told her, and Lara stuck her tongue out.

“You look nice, too,” Lara said, looking at Shelley’s dark green top and short skirt.

“You think? Will Lance like it?”  Shelley asked anxiously.

“Trust me, Shel.  You could wear a paper bag and Lance would like it,” Lara told her.  “You’ve really hit it off, huh?”

“Yeah,” Shelley replied dreamily.  “If I can’t have Justin, that is.”

“I thought you liked Lance,” Lara almost snapped.  “Don’t play with him if it’s Justin you’re after.”

“I’m not PLAYING with anyone,” Shelley snapped back.  “I really like Lance.  We’re a lot alike.  Justin and I would never work out.  I was only joking.”

“I’m sorry,” Lara said with a sigh, sitting down.  “I’m just nervous.  I haven’t been out like this in years.”

“You look great and I think Chris will be a lot of fun to hang out with in a club,” Shelley said, checking her hair one last time.

“I’m not going out with Chris.  I’m going out with everyone,” Lara corrected quickly.  She wasn’t sure if she saw she and Chris as the item everyone else thought they were becoming.

“Oh…right…” Shelley said.  The bell on the door rang.  “That must be Lance.  He said he’d stop by and get us.  The other guys were gonna roll in a separate limo.”  She walked over and opened the door.

“Wow,” Lara heard Lance say, and she smiled.  She grabbed her purse and walked over to the door.

“Okay, break it up,” she said as Lance kissed Shelley on the cheek.

“Hi, Lara.  Wow.  Chris is gonna have a heart attack,” Lance said, looking her up and down.  “I’m gonna be quite the man, escorting two lovely ladies like you.”

“Does he always give you cheesy lines like that?”  Lara asked Shelley.

“Pretty much,” Shelley replied.  Lance poked her in the arm.

“Well, Chris writes all my cheesy lines,” he said, and the girls laughed.

 

The limo driver pulled up behind the club and the girls looked out the window.  “Oh, shit.  Oh, shit.  Shelley…” Lara gasped, staring out the window.

“What?”  Shelley was instantly concerned by the alarm in her friend’s voice.

“Cameras,” Lara said softly.  “The press.”

“This is a hot spot.  They’re always here,” Lance said, confused.

“I can’t.  I can’t get out.  I can’t,” Lara repeated.

“Tell the driver to give you his hat and coat,” Shelley said to Lance.

“What?”

“DO IT,” Shelley snapped, and Lance called through on the intercom.  The driver lowered the window and passed back his dark coat and hat.  “Here.  Put this on and put the coat around you.  No one can see your face then.”

“What’s going on?”  Lance demanded.

“I can’t be seen, Lance.  A group of people in New York City is one thing, but I can’t be pasted all over the Enquirer as Lance Bass’ date.  I can’t,” Lara begged. “Just go in.  I’ll be out of the car in a second.”

“Okay,” Lance said worriedly.  “No.  Wait here.  I’ll send someone out to get you.”  He took Shelley’s hand and led her out of the limo.

“I’ll make sure you get these back,” Lara told the driver.  He shrugged, not really caring one way or the other.  Suddenly Justin poked his head in the car.

“Come on.”  He helped her out and put an arm around her, hiding her face in his chest.  Reporters called out to him but he ignored them and led Lara into the club.  She handed the hat and coat to one of the bouncers, who took them back out to the driver.

“Thanks,” Lara said gratefully, shaking her hair out.  She had worn it down for once and the hat had crushed some of the curls.

“No problem.  I…” Justin’s mouth fell open as he stared at her. 

“What?”  She asked fearfully, looking around.

“What the HELL are you wearing?”  He asked almost angrily.

“A dress.  Why?”

“You say you don’t want attention.  The hem of that dress is almost up to your ass, and the neckline is at your bellybutton!”

“Excuse me?  Number one, since when are you the fashion police?  Number two, you are exaggerating and you know it!”

“Dressing like that it’s no wonder…” Justin caught himself but Lara knew what he was going to say.

“It’s no wonder someone raped me?”  Lara finished quietly.  “Fuck you, Justin Timberlake.”

“Lara, wait.  I’m sorry!”  Justin called after her, but she was already pushing her way through the crowd to the private room in the back where the others were waiting.  She quickly wiped the tears away, grateful for waterproof mascara.

“SURPRISE!”  Everyone yelled as she walked in the door.  She gasped as she looked at the signs, decorations and piles of presents on a table in the corner.

“What’s this?” 

“A belated birthday party.”  Chris kissed her cheek.  “Happy Late Twenty-Eight.”

“Thanks,” she said softly.  She turned and saw Justin standing behind her.

“Surprised?”  He asked.

“Very.  It’s amazing what you don’t see when it’s right under your nose,” she snapped, then beamed a smile at Chris.

 

“You guys are too much,” Lara said a few minutes later as she unwrapped the stuffed animal JC had give her.  “He’s so cute!”  She gave the plush cheetah a big hug.

“Well, we’re nothing if not generous,” he told her.

“Yeah, generous.  I saw you buy that at the drugstore down the street,” Joey said.  JC gave him an evil look.

“That is courtesy of FAO Schwartz, thank you very much,” JC retorted.  Lara placed the cheetah on the table next to the journal from Joey and the dark blue gauzy scarf from Lance and Shelley.  Two packages were left.  Justin and Chris.  She didn’t want anyone to know about the argument she’d had with Justin, so she opened his next.

“Oh…Justin.  It’s beautiful,” she said softly, running a finger along the figurine in her hand.  It was a crystal zebra with sapphires for eyes.  “This must have cost a fortune.”

He shrugged.  “Thought it was you as soon as I saw it.”

“Thank you,” she said.  He didn’t smile, just looked away.  She wasn’t ready to forgive him and he could tell.

“Why don’t you guys go out onto the dance floor?”  Chris asked suddenly.  “She can open mine later.”

“But…” Lara protested.

“Please.”  Chris looked at his friends pointedly, and they quickly made their way out of the room.

“What was that all about?”  Lara asked him as she gathered the wrapping paper together.

“My gift is stupid.”  Chris studied his black shiny shoes.  “Compared to the others it will look retarded.”

“I doubt it.”  Lara sat back down and took the small box in her hand.  Inside the box were two smaller boxes.  She opened one and found a bottle of perfume.  In the other was a small silver pin in the shape of two roses.  She looked at them for a moment in confusion, then studied the bottle of perfume.  A smile crossed her face.  “Chris, you are amazing.”

“It wasn’t really anything,” he mumbled, though he smiled at the happiness in her tone.

“It was creative and totally you.”  She looked at the bottle of perfume again, running her fingers over the label that read “Moonlight.”  She smiled up at him broadly.  “Moonlight and roses.  Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.  Ready to go dance?”

“I guess so.”  She carefully wrapped the gifts back up in their box and took his hand.  Chris led her down the steps towards that led to the dance floor.  His dark eyes searched the crowd for their friends.

“Who’s that with Justin?”  He wondered.

“Isn’t it…Britney Spears?”  Lara answered, and he frowned.

“Yes, that’s who it would be,” Chris sighed, leading her down to the dance floor.  They made a beeline to where Shelley and Lance were dancing a few feet away from Joey and a girl they didn’t know.  JC was mingling somewhere, and Justin and Britney were across the room.

“I thought they broke up.”

“So did I,” Chris almost grumbled.  Lara grabbed Shelley and excused them.

“Did you see who Justin is with?”  Lara asked in a voice low enough to be heard under the music.  Shelley shook her head.  “Britney Spears.”

“Oh, God, you are KIDDING me!”  Shelley moaned.  Lara nodded.  “What’s she wearing?”

“Not much,” Lara replied.  “And he had the nerve to criticize MY clothes.”

“Chris!  Lance!”  Britney squealed as she and Justin approached.  “What a surprise to see y’all here!”

“Hi, Brit,” Chris said, grudgingly accepting the hug she gave him.  She sashayed over to Lance and hugged him as well.  Lara and Shelley looked at her almost sheer pants and blouse and rolled their eyes. 

“And who’s this?”  Britney asked, looking at the possessive way Shelley stood near Lance.  Lance threw an arm around Shelley.

“This is Shelley.”  He gave her a smacking kiss on the cheek which made her blush.  “And that is Lara, her friend.”

“Hey,” Britney said, looking Lara over and dismissing her.  “Ready to dance again, J?”

“Sure,” Justin said, giving Lara and Shelley apologetic looks.  Lara glared at him then turned to Chris. 

“Dance with me?”

 

“Oh, man, I am BEAT!”  Lara said a few hours later as she and Chris wearily made their way up the stairs to their rooms.  Lance and Shelley had left hours earlier, and Lara knew that they were probably in Lance’s room.  Kisses had gotten hot and heavy, and they had finally left the club.  Justin had disappeared with Britney, and Joey and JC had hooked up with a couple of girls as well.  Lara actually felt uncomfortable, like she was keeping Chris from getting laid that night.

“I’m so glad I’m a grownup,” Chris said as they opened the door onto their floor.  Lara stopped walking and looked at him.  “I don’t feel the need to think with my dick ninety percent of the time.”  Lara laughed so hard she almost fell over. “Really.  I mean, I did my share of pickups, and every now and then recreational sex is fun, but every night?  I mean, really.  Not that Shelley is recreational sex or anything,” he said quickly.  “And I don’t know WHAT is up with Justin and Brit.”

“I don’t WANT to know,” Lara said.  She paused in front of Lance’s door.  “Oh, SHIT.”  A sign hanging on the doorknob said that there was electrical problems with the wiring, and that there was no power in the suite.  She looked at her door.  Sure enough, the “Do Not Disturb” sign was hanging proudly.

“That’s kinda rude,” Chris said.  “They could have gotten another room or something.”

“That’s okay,” Lara sighed.  She wanted Shelley to get some Lance nookie, but she wished it would have been during the daytime.  She was tired.  “I could stay with Justin…but I bet he already has someone in there.”  She glared at his door.

“Stay with me.”  Lara looked at Chris.  “Perfect gentleman, I swear.  You can sleep on the bed and I'll hit the couch in the living room.” 

“Chris, I…”

“Please. Consider it the last part of my birthday gift.”

“Okay,” she said slowly.  She knew if she was going to get on with living her life, she had to learn to trust again.

 

Justin looked at the clock and sighed.  Finally.  Nine o’clock.  He had been tossing and turning since six.  He was tired; he hadn’t hit his bed until almost three am, but he couldn’t sleep. He kept thinking about Lara and their fight.  He hated the fact that she was angry with him, and he had repeatedly beat himself up for what he had said.  It was uncalled for and so wrong.  It was just that she had looked so hot, and he was…

“Jealous?”  Justin said aloud, sitting up in bed.  He stared at the wall across the room.  “No.  No way.  She’s my friend…almost like my best friend.”  He shook his head.  No.  He leaned across the bed and picked up the phone.  He had decided around six forty-five that nine was a decent hour to call her.

He counted eight rings before someone finally answered.  “Hello?”  A male voice answered almost angrily.

“Lance?  Is that you?”  Justin asked in amazement.

“Oh…hey…J…yeah.  The wiring was screwed in my room so I stayed here.”  He heard Lance mumble to someone else.  “What’s up?”

“Nothing.  Looking for Lara.”

“She’s not here.  There’s only one bedroom here, with two beds, and she’s definitely not in the other one.”  He could hear Shelley giggling in the background.

“Okay.  Thanks.”  Justin hung up and jumped out of bed to get dressed.

 

A few minutes later he was knocking on Chris’ door.  Chris opened it almost immediately.  Obviously he had been awake for some time.  “Justin!  What’s up?”  Chris moved to let Justin into the room.

“I’m looking for Lara.  Apparently Lance’s room is without power, and he and Shelley have been fucking like bunnies all night.  I was wondering if you knew where Lara was.”

“Well…” Chris began, but was interrupted by the bathroom door opening.

“I hope I didn’t use all your hot water.  I…” Lara stopped short at the sight of Justin, clad only in sweatpants, sitting on the couch.  She pulled Chris’ robe tighter around her.  “Justin.  Hi.  Good morning.”

Justin stood and looked from Lara to Chris and back again.  “What, was EVERYONE but me getting laid last night?”

“Nothing like that happened,” Chris began, but Lara interrupted him again.

“You’re trying to tell us that little Miss Louisiana didn’t get you off last night? What a pity,” she snapped. Chris stared at her open-mouthed. She almost sounded bitter.

“No, she didn’t, and I’ll thank you not to talk about her like that,” Justin retorted, wondering why in the world he was standing up for Britney.  “She’s still my friend.”

“Oh, that’s nice.  I mean, if you fuck her you should AT LEAST be friends.”

Chris looked from one to the other, wondering what the hell was happening.  Obviously this ran deeper than Britney Spears.  “I’m gonna…go get coffee. Yes.  Coffee is good.”  He grabbed his wallet and darted out the door.

Justin glared at Lara.  “Not that it’s any of your business, but…”

“You’re right.  It’s not my business.  And what I do is none of YOUR business.  But, for the record, nothing happened between Chris and I last night. I slept in the bedroom and he was on the couch, right there.  Lance and Shelley were in my room, and you were with Miss Spears, so I crashed here.”

“But…”

“Look, Justin, it’s obvious from what you said last night in the club that you think I’m a slut.  Fine.  However, it looks like you enjoy surrounding yourself with just that kind of girl, so I’ll leave you to fucking Britney and I will not say another word about it.”  She turned to go into the bedroom, but Justin was right next to her in two seconds.

“For the last time I am NOT FUCKING BRITNEY SPEARS!”  Justin almost screamed, grabbing her arm.  She gasped and shrank away from him, terror filling her blue eyes.  “Oh…God…oh baby.  Lara…I’m so sorry.”  He immediately released her and slowly pulled her into his arms.  She fought for a second, then finally relaxed against him. He led her into the bedroom and they sat on the edge of the bed.  “I’m sorry.  I forgot.  I’m so sorry.  I didn’t mean to yell at you…or grab you…I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she replied in a small voice, and he could feel her shaking.  He began to rock her back and forth.

“Forgive me.  Please forgive me.  For everything.  For what I said last night, for what I said today, for what I just did. Please forgive me,” he babbled, kissing the top of her head.

“I forgive you, Justin,” she said in that same small voice.  “But you really hurt my feelings.”

“I know.  And I promised I would never hurt you.  Oh, baby, I’m sorry.”  He closed his eyes and did the now normal ritual of mentally beating the shit out of himself.  “I was just…I was worried about you…I didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea.”

“Well, your girlfriend dresses that way and you don’t mind.”

Justin pulled back and cupped her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him.  “Lara, Britney Spears is not my girlfriend, okay?  Not anymore.  We are just friends.  How she dresses is her prerogative.  There was absolutely NOTHING wrong with your outfit last night.  You looked gorgeous, more beautiful then any woman there.  She could never look good dressed like that, and you wouldn’t look right in her clothes.  You are you, and that is good enough, okay?”

She nodded slowly.  “But you guys were dancing so close and when we left you were all over each other and…”

“We were dancing…that’s all,” he told her.  “I swear.  And you may not believe this, but she did ask to come back here with me, and I said no. I wanted no part of that.  I promise.”  Justin briefly wondered why she cared so much, but let that thought go.

“Okay.  I’m sorry about what I said, too.”  Lara leaned forward and kissed his cheek.  His hands were still cupped around her face, and his thumbs stroked her cheeks.

“Forgiven,” he said with a gentle smile.

“Forgiven,” she repeated, unconsciously licking her lips.

Justin studied her face.  Looked at the scars, at her glistening blue eyes, at her full pink lips.  He started to lean forward without even thinking about it.

“I’m back!  You guys kill each other yet?”  They heard Chris yell.  They pulled away and Justin took his hands from her face.

“No,” he yelled back.  “Everything’s cool.”  He turned to Lara.  “I’ll let you get dressed.”

“Okay,” she whispered.  He went out of the room and shut the door behind him, but she sat for a long moment, staring into space.

 

“I’m really sorry,” Shelley said as soon as she sat down at the table for lunch.  The group had a private room off the dining room and was having sandwiches and salads before the guys had to go to their press meeting.  “I didn’t even think…”

“Of course you didn’t,” Lara said with a smile.  She smacked Justin’s hand as he went after one of her cucumbers in her salad.  “Get OUT!”

“I want a cucumber,” he whined, pouting at his cheeseburger.

“I have one for you right here, big boy,” Joey said, batting his long eyelashes at Justin.  Justin threw a fry at him.

“Seriously, we’re sorry.  We didn’t even think about the fact that you’d have nowhere to go,” Lance said, looking at Lara apologetically.  “Where did you end up?”

“With Chris,” she said.  JC and Joey froze in midbite.  “What?  I slept in the bed and he was out in the living room.”  JC and Joey looked at Chris.

“What?  Unlike the rest of you walking hormones, I can control myself.  Even if it’s hard,” he said, smiling at Lara in a flirtatious manner. She blushed and stirred the blue cheese dressing into her salad.

“I bet it was hard,” Joey pretended to mumble.  Chris threw one of his fries.

“So, when do we leave for Florida?”  Shelley asked.

“Tomorrow morning,” JC told her.  “Our flight leaves at ten.  We have seats for you guys as well.”

“I’m not going,” Lara said suddenly.

“What?”  Justin and Chris said together.

“Not yet.  I have some things I have to do up here. I want to meet with my publisher again, settle some things.  I’ll be down in a week or so.”

“A week?”  Chris asked.

“You didn’t tell me that,” Justin said accusingly.

“I wasn’t talking to you,” Lara reminded him.

“You weren’t talking to him?”  Joey, JC and Lance asked together.  Lara ignored them.

“I promise.  I’ll catch a flight back on Monday or something. I want to do some shopping, too.”

“There are stores in Florida,” Chris gently reminded her.

“I know. I just…I want to stay here for a bit, okay?”  Lara looked into his brown eyes.  He nodded.

“Okay.”

“Finished, kids?  We have to roll.”  Lance stood after giving Shelley a long passionate kiss.  “We’ll see you ladies after dinner.”

“You have my cell number, right?”  Justin asked Lara, finishing the last of his burger.

“Yes, Dad,” she replied, rolling her eyes.  He kissed her forehead.

“Later, Stripes.”

“I’ll call you if we have a break,” Chris told her, bending down to kiss her cheek.

“Um…we may be out shopping,” Lara said quickly, glancing over at Shelley.  Shelley quickly nodded.

“We were gonna do some sightseeing since it’s a bit warmer today.”

“Okay.  See you later.”  Chris squeezed Lara’s shoulder and the five guys walked away.

 

 

“Um, what was that all about?”  Shelley asked Lara as they rode in a taxi to the Empire State Building.

“What?” Lara stared out the window.

“The whole sudden not being around for Chris’ call thing?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  Lara tipped the driver and they got out.  Shelley grabbed her before she could walk into the building.

“Lara…are you afraid of Chris? Did he do something to you?”

“God, no!”  Lara was shocked.  “I just…I don’t know…I really really like him, but not as a boyfriend or something like that.  He likes me that way…and I don’t have the heart to tell him.  But maybe if I stay with him, I could GROW to like him like that.”

“What did you say to me about playing with someone when you’re not really interested?”  Shelley reminded her gently.

“I really LIKE him, but not…like like him.”  Lara laughed.  “I sound like I’m fifteen or something.”

“So you like him like you like a best friend,” Shelley said slowly.

“Right!”

“You mean, the way you like Justin.”

“Um, right,” Lara faltered.  “Exactly.”

“Okay…I understand.”  Shelley walked into the building ahead of Lara, a knowing smile on her face.

December 18

(A Week Later)

 

“Are you Katherine Morgan?” A man in a long coat and dark hat asked Lara as she walked off the plane in Florida a week later.

“Yes, I am,” she said warily.

“Good afternoon.”  He took her carryon bag.  “Mr. Kirkpatrick sent me to get you.”

“Oh…thank you.” 

“Your luggage will be taken care of.”  He led her outside to a white limo and helped her into the backseat.

Lara stared at the palm trees and sunny blue sky.  It was hard to believe that just hours before she had been shivering at the airport, watching snowstorm clouds rolling in.  It was about thirty minutes later that they arrived at a large house.

“Thank you,” she said timidly.  The driver tipped his hat, handed her her carryon, and drove away.

She walked up to the door and knocked.  A woman answered it, smiling at her.  “You must be Lara.  Hi…I’m Justin’s mom, Lynn.”

“Hi,” Lara said shyly.

Lara stopped walking as pounding feet came down the staircase.  “Hey!” Justin said happily.  He engulfed her in a huge hug. 

“Hi, Justin,” she said, smiling up at him.  He hugged her again, squeezing her tight.

“God, I’ve missed you.”  He swung her a bit side to side until she giggled.

“It’s only been a week, silly,” she said.

“Where are your bags?”  Justin asked as he walked her up the steps to show her the guestroom he had chosen for her.

“The driver said they’d be delivered soon,” she replied.  “Oh, Justin, this is so pretty!”  Lara exclaimed as he opened the door to a guestroom decorated in white and blues.  The bedspread was a white background with tiny dark blue flowers, and the curtains were a navy blue.

“I thought you would like it,” he said with a satisfied grin.  “I’ll let you here to freshen up…connecting bathroom through that door…the guys and Shel will be over in a bit.”

“Okay,” Lara said. “Thank you, Justin.  Thanks for letting me stay here.”

“No problem.  I’ve told my mom so much about you that she was just DYING to meet you.”  Justin shut the door behind him as he left.

 

“Hey, gorgeous!”  Chris swung Lara up into his arms and hugged her.  “You look fantastic.”

“Thanks, Chris.”  Lara hugged him tight.  They had talked every night while he was in Florida and she was in New York, but it hadn’t gotten any better.  She had to tell him soon that they could only be friends.  She liked him a lot and hated the thought of hurting him.

“Hey, girl,” Lance said, giving her a quick hug. She received hugs from JC and Joey, and then turned to Shelley.

“You look really happy,” Lara said quietly.  Shelley was beaming. 

“Lance wants me to stay down here…get an apartment and a job here so he can see me all the time he’s home!”  Shelley replied excitedly.

“Oh…God…Shel…that’s great!”  Lara exclaimed, hugging her friend.

“Damn…I mean…dang, Mom…you made enough to feed an army!”  Justin blushed as he corrected himself.

“I know your friends, Justin, and I know how much they eat,” Lynn said with a laugh.  “Come on in to the table, everyone.”

“Sit by me,” Chris said to Lara, taking her hand like a little kid.  She laughed and followed him in.

“Everything looks SO good,” she said to Justin’s mom.  “It’s been a while since I’ve had a great homecooked meal like this.”

“Yes…Justin did mention you’ve been living a secluded life for a while,” Justin’s stepfather Michael said.  Lara swallowed deeply and looked across the table to Justin.  The look in his eyes told her that he had given his mother and stepfather the minimum amount of information.

“Yes…and that will make this meal twice as good,” Lara replied.

 

Everyone hung in the huge family room after dinner.  Lara and Shelley offered to help Justin’s mother, but Lynn only shoved them out of her kitchen, telling them to go visit with “the boys” as she called them.  When the girls went to the family room, Shelley immediately sat by the fire next to Lance.  Lara stood uncertainly in the doorway.  Chris looked up at her and smiled.  She looked at him pointedly, then walked down the hall to the smaller den.  He soon appeared in the doorway.

“Subtle hint for me to follow you?”  Chris asked with a smile. She didn’t smile back.

“Chris…I need to talk to you.”  She began to pace.  Chris sat down on the chair behind the mahogany desk.

“Is everything okay?  Did that jerk ex of yours call or something?”

“Oh, no. Nothing like that.”  Lara sat on the edge of the desk.  “I really like you, Chris.  You are so sweet and considerate…and fun.  But, I…”

“You can’t see me as more then a friend,” Chris finished, and she nodded.  He rolled his eyes dramatically.  “If I had a dollar for every girl who said that to me, I’d be a millionaire.  Oh…wait…I am a millionaire.”  He grinned up at her in such a goofy way that she had to grin back.  “It’s okay, Lara.  I saw this one coming.”

“You did?”  Lara’s mouth fell open.

“You and I are great buddies, but we’re not meant to be together.  I know that.  You and Justin are…”

“Whoa…wait.  Me and Justin?  Where did he come from?”

“We all wonder that,” Chris mused, then smiled at her.  “You guys obviously are head over heels for each other and…”

“Hold on, Chris.”  Lara held up her hand.  “Justin and I are NOT head over heels for each other.  We’re…”

“Just friends.  Yeah.  Whatever.  You keep saying that…both of you.  But I’m thinking the more you protest…the more there must be some truth in it.”

“Me and Justin?”  Lara whispered. “We’re different as night and day.  He doesn’t even know he’s white.  I’m twenty-eight and he’s not even twenty.”

“And I bet the longer you sit there the more positive things you’ll think of about him.”  Chris leaned up and gave her a brotherly kiss on the lips.  “Think about it.”  He stood and took her hand. “Let’s go back in before Lynn thinks we’re consummating our non-relationship in here.”

When they returned to the family room, Joey was doing some silly dance to a song on the radio and cracking everyone up.  He stopped short and laughed at them.  “Uh-oh…look where YOU’RE standing!”  He pointed to the mistletoe above their heads.  Lara and Chris looked at each other and laughed.  Chris gave her a chaste peck on the cheek.  “What the hell was that?”  Joey asked in a disappointed tone.

“We’re just friends.  My little sister.”  Chris ruffled Lara’s hair and she yelled at him.

“God…what is it with this whole incest thing?”  Joey muttered, flopping down onto the floor next to JC.

“Huh?”  Lara was confused.

“Justin has told us that nothing could ever happen between you and him because you are like his sister,” Lance informed her. “Therefore Joey has been on this incest kick ever since.”

“Have not,” Joey retorted.  Chris sent Lance a death look.

“Really?  You said that?” Lara said to Justin.  He blushed.

“Well…yeah.  You’re like my big sister.”

“Right.” She nodded faintly.

“Who wants to kiss my little sister next?  Take your place in line here,” Chris announced, holding Lara firmly under the mistletoe.  She squealed as Joey came running over.

“Joey…” Justin said in a warning tone.  He didn’t want his friend to scare her.

“I know.”  Joey made a big deal of dipping Lara back in his arms, then planted a big kiss on her nose.

“Euuwww…” Lara rubbed her nose furiously.

“We’re outta here.”  Lance stood and Shelley followed.  He kissed Lara on the cheek.  “See you later.”

“Bye, Lara.  I’m not kissing you.  Sorry,” Shelley said with a smile.  They left, followed by JC, who gave Lara a peck on the cheek.  He took Joey with him as Joey begged for another chance under the mistletoe.  Lara was giggling so hard she could hardly stand up. 

Justin walked the others out while Chris put on his jacket.  “Remember what I said,” he told her.  “Think about him.”

“You heard him.  I’m his sister.  That’s how it should be.”

Chris rolled his eyes.  “Whatever. I’ll call you tomorrow.  I want you to come see MY house.”

“Okay.  Night, Chris.”

“Night, Gorgeous.”  He kissed her cheek again and almost ran into Justin, who was coming in the door.  “Bye, Curly.”

“Bye, Chris.”  Justin closed the door.

“I’m gonna go up and shower and then turn in.  I’m wiped out,” Lara said quietly  “Tell your mom thanks for dinner, okay?”

“I will.  Good night.”  Justin gave her a quick hug.

“Good night,” Lara said before jogging up the steps.  Justin watched her go up, then slowly made his way out to the den, where his mother and stepfather were watching television.

 

At midnight Lara woke up, far from fast asleep.  She pulled a pair of socks on and tiptoed out into the hall and down the stairs.  She peeked into the family room and smiled.  She could see Justin curled up into a ball in front of the fireplace.  She tiptoed in and placed a hand on his shoulder.  “Justin.”

“What, Mom?”  He mumbled, rolling over.

“First I’m your sister, now your mom.  This is getting worse,” Lara said with a quiet giggle.  His eyes fluttered open.

“Hey.”  He sat up. “What are you doing up?”

“Couldn’t sleep.  What are you doing down here?”

“I was watching the fire and I guess I dozed off.”  He stood up.  “Everything okay?  Your room okay?”

“Yes…wonderful.  Just a lot of thoughts running through my head.”  She sat on a chair and he sat close by. 

“Sorry about Chris.”

Lara shrugged.  “Oh well.  He said he saw it coming.”  She watched Justin carefully.  “He told me he knew that it wasn’t him that I was supposed to be with.”

“Really?”  Justin asked, his face a mask of nothing.

“Yes,” Lara said, heaving a sigh.  “Well, I guess I’ll go up and read or something.”  She stood and started to walk out.

“Lara.”  Justin stood as well.

“Yes?”  Lara turned to look at him.

“I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too,” she said quietly.

 He walked over to her, a shy smile on his face.  “You’re in the danger zone.”

Lara was confused, then looked up.  “I guess I am,” she said with a giggle.

“I didn’t get the chance to kiss you earlier.  May I?”  Justin asked.  She nodded and he took another step closer to her. 

Neither of them knew who moved first, but before they knew it they were in each other’s arms.  Justin pulled Lara tight against him, and she wrapped her arms around him, allowing her fingers to slide up and dance through his curls.  His lips met hers gently at first, then with more passion.  She seemed to sigh, and her body melted against his.  His hands slid up to cup her face as his lips seemed to drink from hers.  His thumbs lightly caressed behind her ears, sending feelings long forgotten down her spine to her midsection.  His tongue flickered out once, twice, then she slowly opened her mouth to let him in. 

Lara couldn’t get enough of kissing Justin.  These feelings were scary and weird and suddenly familiar. She remembered what it was like to kiss someone you loved…and then she pulled back. 

“I’m sorry,” Justin said immediately. “Was that too much? I’m sorry. I couldn’t stop.  I couldn’t…”

“Neither could I,” she said.  She decided to put it all on the table.  “I kissed Chris, Justin, and felt nothing.  That one kiss from you, the first time, in town, floored me.  I…I think I’m…”

“Yes?” Justin was sure she could hear his heart beating.

“I know you don’t think of me this way, but I have to be honest with you.  I really feel…” Lara couldn’t find the right words.  Was it too early for love?

“I DO think of you this way,” Justin said quickly and her mouth fell open.  “I’ve felt this way all along and tried to deny it.  I was afraid of hurting you, then you were with Chris, and I thought you wouldn’t want me because I’m so young, and…”

“You feel that way?”

“I love you,” Justin said suddenly and Lara gasped.  “I love you.  I love you as my best friend, I love you as more.  I think you are gorgeous and sexy and smart and fun and sweet and I love you.” He took a deep breath.  “Did I just say all that out loud?”

“Yes!”  Lara said, laughing hard.  “You did.  I love you, too, Justin.”

“You do?”  Justin’s eyes were wide.  She nodded and he let out a whoop in a whisper.  “Can I kiss you again?”

“Are you gonna ask EVERY time you kiss me?”  She giggled.

“No…because I plan on kissing you a lot.”  He swung her around in a circle and planted kisses all over her face.  “I can’t wait to tell everyone.”

“We can’t,” Lara said suddenly, and he grew sad.

“Why?  Are you embarrassed…it’s because I’m just a dumb kid, right?”

Lara grabbed his face in her hand.  “STOP saying that, Justin Timberlake.  You are NOT dumb.  I just…your mom…I mean…I’m almost thirty, for God’s sake.”

“In two years,” he reminded her. “Let me worry about my mom.  She already loves you.”

Lara yawned big.  “I should get to bed…but I don’t want to let you go.”

“Me either.  I’ll walk you up.”

They had their arms around each other as they made their way up the steps, and amongst much giggling and whispering and kissing Lara finally made it into her room.  She closed the door behind her and ran to the bed, flopping onto it in delight.  For the first time in years she felt happy and loved…a feeling she had almost forgotten.

 

By eight o’clock the next morning, Justin was wide-awake.  He lay in his bed for a long time, staring at the ceiling with a goofy smile on his face. She loved him.  Him.  Stupid Justin.  The ghetto white boy who could dance and sing a little but was always thought of as the less than bright youngest member of NSYNC.  She was pretty and smart and fun and accomplished…and she loved HIM. 

He bounced out of bed and tiptoed down the hall.  He listened outside his parents’ door.  He couldn’t hear Michael sleeping…so that meant they were already out on their morning walk.  He tiptoed down and quietly knocked on Lara’s door.  No answer.  He carefully and quietly opened the door and snuck into her room.  She was buried under the covers even though it was probably already seventy degrees outside.  Justin desperately wanted to slip under those covers with her, but he didn’t want to frighten her.  As much as he just wanted to grab her and kiss her, he knew that things would have to move slow.  And he was surprisingly okay with that. 

He knelt by the bed and brushed some hair away from her face.  “And I will take…you in my arms…and hold you right where you belong…” he sang softly.  Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled sleepily.  “Every word I say is true…this I promise you…”

“Can I wake up that way every morning?”  Lara asked, smiling up at him.

“If you’d like,” Justin replied, leaning down and kissing her nose.  “Hi.”

“Hi.” Lara moved over so he could lay down beside her. Justin remained on top of the covers.  “How long have you been up?”

“A little while.  Mom and Mike are out walking.  They go every morning.”

“Cool.”  Lara stretched and squirmed a bit and Justin tried not to watch.  She was just suddenly so tempting…and he knew he couldn’t touch her.  Lara caught his gaze and stared at him for a moment.  “Maybe this won’t work.”

“What?”  Justin almost squeaked.  They’d only been together about eight hours and she was already ending it.  “What did I do wrong?”

“Oh…Justin.”  She leaned up on one arm and lightly touched his cheek.  “Nothing at all.  I can see in your eyes how careful you want to be…and I feel bad.  You don’t scare me, I promise.”

“Things haven’t gone very far yet,” he reminded her, taking her hand in his and kissing her palm.  “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“That’s what I’m saying.”  She lowered her eyes then looked at him again.  “You’re nineteen, Justin, and full of hormones, shall we say.  I don’t want to keep you from…”

Justin silenced her with a kiss.  “Enough.  If there’s a problem, you’ll be the first to know, I promise.” He kissed her again, a tantalizing slow kiss.  “I want to make you want me,” he said with his sly Timberlake grin.  She swallowed deeply.

“I…uh…don’t think that will be a problem,” she said in a tiny voice, and he laughed.  He pulled her over to lay her head on his chest.

“This is weird, isn’t it?”  Justin said after a moment.  “I mean, we know each other so well…but now it’s on a different level.  Like, before, I wouldn’t have minded talking about sex and stuff with you…but now it feels weird.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, closing her eyes and listening to his heartbeat.

“Don’t be.  I think I like this better.”

Lara giggled.  They lay in silence for about twenty minutes, and then she sat up with a sigh.  “I should get a shower.  Your parents will probably be home soon and I’d rather they didn’t find us like this.”

“Okay.  I have a surprise planned for you.  Dress casual, okay?”  Justin requested with a teasing grin.

“Okay,” Lara said slowly.  “Will there be a lot of people there?”

“Yes, but your face will only be looking at me so no one will see it,” he said cockily.  She threw a pillow at him.

“Ego much?”

“No…in love much.” He blew her a kiss before closing the door behind him.  Lara fell onto the bed, muffling her screams in a pillow.

 

When Lara bounced down the steps about thirty minutes later she could smell bacon frying.  Justin and his stepfather were at the table, and his mom was serving them fluffy omelets.  “I told her just to make you toast and bacon,” Justin said.  “I know you hate eggs, and we don’t have poptarts.”

Lara stuck her tongue out at him as she sat down.  “Toast and bacon is wonderful, thank you.”  She smiled as she noticed that Justin already had apple juice at her place.  He knew she liked apple juice best. 

“I hear you have quite the day in store for you,” Michael said, pouring ketchup on his omelet.  Justin glared at him.  “Don’t worry, Justin.  I don’t plan on spilling the beans.  Your mom and I took the day off to do Christmas shopping so we’ll be out as well.”

“Oh, no. Christmas shopping!”  Justin moaned. “I’m not done yet!”

“You still have a few days,” his mom reminded him.

“I finished in New York,” Lara said, biting into her toast.

“No wonder your bags were so full,” Justin teased, and she threatened to throw her toast at him.

 

“I cannot believe that I am riding around in a convertible with shorts on and it’s the week before Christmas,” Lara said, looking at the shops as they drove onto the hallway.

“I guess that would be hard to get used to,” Justin agreed.  “We have a forty minute drive or so.  We could go closer but the place I have in mind is better…less crowds…and that’s good for the BOTH of us.”

“How in the world can you even go out in public down here?”  Lara wondered.

“Not very easily, which explains the dorky hat,” Justin replied, pointing to his black fisherman’s hat.  Lara giggled.

“Makes you look like Gilligan,” she replied.

“Who?”  Justin asked, a confused look on his face.

“Oh my God.  Please do NOT tell me I’m that old!” Lara said, horrified.  Justin cracked up.

“No, you’re not.  I was joking.  I watch cable, I know who Gilligan is.”  He reached over and held her hand as he drove.

 

 

“Okay…walk left…now watch there’s a dip here…hold onto me…” Justin said as he guided Lara with his hand over her eyes.

“Justin, this is getting old,” Lara said, embarrassed.  She could just imagine the scene they were making.  She could hear the ocean and sighed happily.  The beach.  Finally.

“Okay…open them.”  Justin withdrew his hand and Lara gasped.  The ocean spread wide in front of her, and they were on an almost deserted beach.

“Oh…Justin.  This is gorgeous!” Lara exclaimed.  “But where are all the people?”

“This is a private beach…belongs to a friend of mine.  I have a key to the gate and he lets me come here whenever I want,” Justin said, spreading out the blanket he had been carrying.  He pulled off his hat and black wifebeater and stood only in black swim trunks.  Lara tried her best not to drool.  “Um…aren’t you swimming?”

Lara shook her head.  “No.  I’ve heard WAY too many stories about sharks in Florida waters.”

“Lara, I swim all the time in these waters.  See any scars on me?”  Justin whirled around.

“No,” she replied.  “But…”

“Please…at least wade with me,” he begged, giving her an incredibly adorable pouty face.

“No fair. No DAMN fair,” Lara muttered, pulling off her tanktop and shorts. 

Justin watched the shorts slide down her slender legs, and swallowed deeply at the sight of her dark blue one-piece swimming suit.  She was totally covered…but swimming suits cling to the body.  He held out his hand to her.  “Let’s go.”

Lara hung back but finally let him tug her along.  She squealed as the waves tickled her toes.  “It’s cold!”  She chattered.

“You’ll get used to it.  Come ON.”  He pulled harder and she followed him in until they were about knee deep in the water.

“No further.  No shark could swim this shallow,” she decided.  Justin rolled his eyes.

“You are too cute,” he told her, kissing her forehead.

“How cute?”  She asked, giggling.

“TOO cute.” He hugged her close to him.  A wave splashed up and she shrieked, moving closer to him.  He held her tightly, loving to be able to finally be so close to her.  “I love you,” he told her.  “No matter what happens…remember that.”

“I love you, too,” she said, still amazed that he could love her.  Lara frowned for a moment, thinking about all the things that were working against them.

“What?”  Justin led her back to the blanket.  “What’s making you so sad?”

“Once again, you see right through me,” Lara said with a smile.  “I’m just thinking about all the reasons we SHOULDN’T be together.”

“You know, we’ve been together for about…” Justin grabbed Lara’s wrist and checked her watch.  “…sixteen hours now, and you’ve been nothing but negative about our relationship,” he pointed out with a smile.

“Well…there’s our age differences.  We are almost ten years apart in age.  And then there’s the fact that you will never be around, and all kinds of beautiful girls will be throwing themselves at you, ready and willing to…”

“I have a beautiful WOMAN right here,” Justin interrupted, kissing her cheek.

“And your girlfriend will be a public figure, Justin.  I can’t do that right now,” Lara said finally.  He knew this was what had bothered her most.

“We’ll be careful.  I can protect you…protect your privacy…at least for a while.  I want you to go places with me…awards shows…other big events…but if you don’t want to that’s fine.”  Justin paused for a moment.  “Have you thought about surgery?”

Lara shook her head vehemently.  “No.  Not ready for that yet.”

“Fine,” Justin said, sighing.  “Let’s talk about something else.  Something a little more interesting.  Like…your lips.”

“My lips?”  Lara brought a hand up and touched her mouth.  “Why?  Are they sunburned or something?”

“No…not yet…but I think they need protection,” Justin said, leaning towards her.

“Oh, really?” Lara whispered, giggling as he leaned her back on the blanket.

“Yes…let me help you with that.”

 

The next few days passed like a dream for Lara.  Justin’s family was very nice to her, and she had the chance to meet his father, stepmother and half-siblings as well.  They drove out to the beach for at least an hour a day, and spent the evenings with his family or with one or more of “the boys.”  It was hard to hide their feelings for one another in front of his family, but with the guys it was more relaxed, and she loved the way Justin would hold her hand, or play with her fingers, or stroke her hair while they sat and chatted with someone.  He didn’t even notice he was doing it, but she sure did.

On December 23rd, Lance, Shelley, Lara and Justin went out for a double date dinner, just the four of them.  Lara was happily relaxed.  They had spent the day out on a boat with Chris and Joey, and she was worn out both from her constant watch for sharks and the antics of the two other men.

Lance and Justin were in a friendly argument over something trivial when Shelley excused herself to use the restroom.  As women always go to the bathroom in pairs, Lara went with her.  “You two are SO cute!”  Shelley exclaimed as soon as the door shut behind them.  “Perfect for each other.  It’s about damn time!”

“What are you talking about?”  Lara couldn’t keep the smile from her face.

“We all knew it, Lara.  Even Chris.  Everyone realized it but you and Justin.  About time you came around.”

“Yeah,” Lara sighed happily. She grew serious.  “This won’t be easy.  Lots of things are working against us.”

“You’ll win.”  Shelley checked herself in the mirror.  “Love conquers all, right?”

“I hope so,” Lara said with a sigh.

 

Justin’s family exchanged gifts on Christmas Eve.  Not something that Lara was used to, but she liked having all the lights out in the family room and watching the tree lights twinkle in the dark.  She was pleased to find that his mom and stepdad had bought her a gift, and felt that her small thank you slash Christmas gift wasn’t good enough.

“You really didn’t need to,” Lynn said with a smile, opening the envelope that held three gift certificates for the restaurant where she and Michael ate brunch every single Sunday.

“I wanted to.  You’ve been so nice to me and I really appreciate it,” Lara told her.

“You saved my son’s life…and you’re his best friend.  Why wouldn’t I be nice to you?”  Lynn came over to hug Lara and she looked at Justin over his mother’s shoulder.

“Who is this Katherine Morgan?”  Michael picked up a stack of books that Justin had given his mother.  Lara gasped.  She hadn’t seen Lynn open her son’s gift.

“Oh, you didn’t!”  Lara was horrified.

“Had to make sure you had enough to eat on,” Justin teased.  She turned bright red.

“How many?”

“All twelve.”

“Oh, God.”  Lara buried her face in her hands.  Justin came over to put his arm around her shoulders.

“She’s just about the best writer in the world, Mike.  And you’ve had her in your house all this time,” Justin said proudly.

“Really?  This is you?”  Michael was impressed.

“I’ve read this one before and loved it.”  Lynn waved a book in the air.  “I can’t wait to read the rest.”

“I’ll read them, too.  Who knows…maybe I’ll like them,” Michael commented.

“No way, Mike.  It’s all sex, moonlight and roses,” Justin said.  “Nothing you’d know about.”

“Exactly,” Lynn agreed.

“Hey!”  Michael said, insulted.  Lynn laughed and hugged her husband.

Justin had bought Lara a gorgeous dark blue dress after his mother had hinted around to get her size.  He bought a silver pendant to go with it, and when Lara opened the locket she saw their initials intertwined in the engraving.  She blushed.

“Does it say anything?”  Lynn asked.  Lara looked at Justin.

“Just my initials.  It’s beautiful, Justin.  Thank you.”  She kissed his cheek and put it around her neck.  “I’ll never take it off.”

She had bought him a black sweater with a blue zigzag pattern, and a bottle of the cologne he wore that she loved so much.  They sat around the tree and chatted, and it was almost midnight by the time they all trudged up the stairs to bed.

Lara was in her pajamas and climbing under the covers when there was a knock at the door.  “Come in,” she called, snuggling down.  Justin poked his head in.

“Can I come in?”

“Of course, silly,” Lara replied.  Justin came in and locked the door behind him.  She looked at him quizzically.

“Don’t want to take any chances of someone barging in or something.”  He sat on the edge of the bed and looked at her. 

“Everything okay?”

“I have another gift for you,” he said slowly.

“Justin, you’ve given me enough already.  Not only in Christmas gifts…” Lara played with the locket around her neck.  “…but you saved me.  Brought me back to the real world.  Not that it still isn’t damn scary, but with you beside me I feel safe.”

“I want you to feel safe,” he told her.  “But I saw this and knew you should have it.”  He pulled a small jewelry box from behind her back.  Lara opened it and gasped.

“Oh…Justin…” Lara took the silver and sapphire ring out of the box and just looked at it.  Tiny diamonds and sapphires made their way around the silver band, ending at a large sapphire heart in the center.

“To remind you that I was blue until I met you…and now you have my heart.”  He slipped the ring onto the ring finger of her right hand.

“Justin…I…” Tears ran down Lara’s face.  He bent down and sweetly kissed her, then wiped the tears away. 

“Merry Christmas, baby.”

 

“Merry Christmas, Gorgeous!”  Chris swept Lara into a huge hug and gave her a smacking kiss on the cheek.

“Hi, Chris.”  She hugged him back just as hard.  The guys all tromped in and filed into the family room, chattering loudly and hugging Lynn.  It was Christmas afternoon, and they had come over to spend the evening.  Justin’s family had eaten their Christmas meal over lunch, and Lynn would be setting out a small cold buffet for supper.

“Mistletoe, Lara,” Joey said, smiling as he kissed her cheek.  “You ask for it, you know,” he reminded her.

“I know,” she said with a laugh.

Justin came into the room carrying a bowl of popcorn.  “Oh…look…mistletoe.”  He looked over his shoulder towards the kitchen and gave Lara a quick kiss on the mouth.  “Love you,” he whispered.  Lara giggled and followed him into the living room.

 

“Okay…all the food is out.  We’ll be back kinda late.  You know how these things go,” Lynn said as she pulled on a light jacket.  They were going a few doors down to a Christmas party thrown by one of their friends.  “If you need anything, just come down.”

“Yes, Mom.  I’m not six,” Justin said, annoyed.

“Of course not.”  She kissed his forehead and ruffled his curls.  “Bye, guys.  Bye Lara and Shelley.”

“Bye, Mom!”  The guys yelled out.

“Okay…presents presents presents,” Chris said enthusiastically, plopping down by the Christmas tree where they had all piled their gifts.

“NOW who’s six?”  Shelley asked with a smile.  He stuck his tongue out at her.

“Just for that you don’t get any presents,” he told her.

“That’s okay.  I have enough,” she retorted, smiling up at Lance as she played with the diamond earrings he had given her.

“Oh please.”  Joey rolled his eyes.  “Between you and Lance and Lara and Justin, I’m going crazy with all this swooning and lovey-dovey stuff.”

“Jealous much?”  Lance asked.

“We haven’t been lovey-dovey,” Justin insisted.  Lance, Joey, JC and Chris hooted.

“Yeah, okay, J,” JC said, tugging his bag of gifts from a corner.  “Three feet of snow melted every time you guys looked at each other.”

“We’ve only been together a short time,” Lara pointed out.  “Since we’ve been in Florida.”

The others just looked at each other.  “You’ve been together since we hit New York, you guys,” JC said gently.  “You just didn’t know it.”

Lara and Justin looked at each other and blushed.  “Oh,” Lara said, for lack of anything else.

“Who cares?  They’re together now.  Presents, dammit!”  Chris shouted.

 

“I hoped that big one was for me!”  JC said in mock disappointment an hour later as Chris pulled out his last gift to give: Lara’s gift.

“Selfish selfish,” Chris said.

“YOU’RE one to talk,” Shelley said, giggling.  Chris loved opening presents, but he was as enthusiastic about giving as he was about receiving.

“I hope you like it,” Chris said seriously, handing the long flat package to Lara.

“I’m sure I will,” Lara said with a smile, carefully unwrapping it.  Tears sprang to her eyes as she looked at it.  “Oh…Chris…I…oh…” she gasped.

“Must be good.  Lara is speechless,” Joey said with a teasing grin.  She stuck her tongue out at him through her tears.

“Chris…this is wonderful.  Thank you.”  She handed the gift to Justin as she got up to hug Chris.  Justin stared at it.

“Whoa, Chris.  Did you do this?”

“No…one of my uncle’s friends hiked up there and did it.  I described the other part to him though.”  Chris blushed at Lara’s joy.  “I’m glad you like it.”

“I don’t like it.  I LOVE it.”

“What is it?”  Joey asked, exasperated.

Justin turned the painting around.  It was a watercolor painting of Lara’s cabin in the woods, set against the mountains and snow.  A blazing fire could be seen through the window, and a dark-haired woman and curly-headed man were seated in front of the window, their heads together as if in deep conversation.  “This is exactly how it looks, too,” Justin told everyone.

“Thanks, Chris,” Lara said again.

“Can I call my mom?”  Shelley asked Justin.

“Of course.  The phone is in the kitchen,” he told her.

“I’m gonna take my stuff upstairs,” Lara told Justin, gathering her gifts.  He nodded and she kissed his forehead before going upstairs.

“Could you stop smiling for five minutes?”  Lance teased Justin.

“Nope.  And you’re one to talk…every time Shel walks into the room your eyes light up,” Justin answered with a laugh.  “I’m just…happy.”

“That’s good, J,” JC told him.  “You’re lucky.”

“You ARE lucky. Lara is awesome,” Chris added, looking away for a moment.

“I’m sorry, Chris.  I know you liked her a lot,” Justin said, leaning towards his friend.

“It’s okay.” Chris shrugged.  “We’re better as good friends.  Just like you two are better as lovers than friends.”

“I don’t see WHY you wanna tie yourselves down,” Joey said, laying down on the floor and staring into the fire.  “I like being single.”

“You won’t…trust me,” Lance informed him.  “Once you have someone special, it’s just…”

“Complete,” Justin finished.  JC looked at him.

“You’re awful young to feel that way, aren’t you?”

“I know.  I’m not even twenty yet and I’m thinking of settling down and liking it.  It’s just something about Lara.  I wanna be with her forever.”  Justin stared at the fire as well.  “It will be hard…I mean, there’s a lot against us, but we can fight it and win.”

“What about her face?”  Joey asked. 

“She refuses to get the work done.  She sees it more then ANYONE else does, and yet she won’t get the work done.  The whole big deal about her face…that’s what bothers me the most.”

“So why don’t you offer to pay for it?”  JC asked.

“No way.  It’s not my thing to do.  If she wants it done, SHE can pay for it.  I won’t do it.  I wish she’d get it done though…maybe then she can see herself the way I see her: beautiful.”  Justin got up to poke at the fire.

 

Lara came bouncing down the steps in time to hear Justin say, “…the whole big deal about her face, that’s what bothers me the most.”

She froze.  “So, why don’t you offer to pay for it?”  She heard JC ask.

“No way.  It’s not my thing to do.  If she wants it done, SHE can pay for it.  I won’t do it.  I wish she’d get it done though…”

She turned and ran up the steps before she heard another word.  THAT’S what Justin thought about her?  He thought she was some kind of freak…her face “bothered” him…his exact words.  He wanted her to get the surgery done but refused to be any part of it.  This is what she got for trusting a man.

Tears streamed down Lara’s face.  She didn’t want to believe it, but she had heard it with her own two ears.  She looked around wildly.  She needed out of that house.  Immediately.

 

“Hey,” Justin said, looking up at Lara with a smile.  She looked like she had seen a ghost.  “You okay?  We were gonna eat dinner.”

“No…I need to lay down,” she said almost stiffly.  “I’ll be back down in a bit.”

“You sure?”  Justin looked concerned.  She nodded and slowly made her way upstairs.  Chris and Justin exchanged glances.  Justin shrugged.  “Let’s eat.  I’ll check on her in a bit.”

 

Lara waited until everyone was in the kitchen eating and slowly made her way down the steps.  She had packed as quickly as possible, and struggled down the steps with her bags.  She ran back upstairs to call a taxi, and gave the address as the corner of Justin’s street and the next.  She wandered back into the kitchen.  “How you feeling, sweetie?” Shelley asked.

“Okay…I think I need some fresh air, though.  I feel…stifled,” Lara answered.

“I’ll get my coat,” Justin said, laying down his plate of chicken wings.  Lara shook her head.

“No.  I’d rather walk alone.  It’s such a nice night…and so much has been happening lately.  I need some time to myself,” she replied, unable to look him in the eye.  “Okay?”

“Sure,” Justin said slowly.  She went around the room, bestowing hugs and kisses.  She held Chris tight.

“Merry Christmas, Chris,” she said, hugging him fiercely.

“Back at ya, Gorgeous,” he whispered.  She started for the hall closet.

“Don’t I get a kiss, too?”  Justin called after her.

Lara slowly turned around, hating him so badly she could taste it.  “I think I’ve wasted enough kisses on you for one day.”  She tried to say it casually and in a joking manner, and he smiled.

“Fair enough.  I’ll catch up later.”

“Bye,” she said, grabbing her lightweight jacket from the closet and hurrying out the door.

 

Justin uneasily looked at the clock again.  It had been an hour since Lara went out for her walk.  “Maybe she got lost,” Joey suggested.

“The neighborhood’s a big circle, Joe, and she’s smarter then that,” JC reminded him gently.  “Maybe she just sat down at that park down the street.  Looking at the stars or something,” he suggested to Justin.

“It’s cloudy,” Justin said without looking at him.  He got up from the table and went to stare out the window.  “I’m worried.”

Chris stood up slowly and excused himself to use the bathroom.  Instead of using the downstairs powder room, however, he snuck down the hall and up the steps.  He was worried also.  He had gotten to know Lara pretty well and something didn’t seem right with her.  He opened the door to her room and his heart sank.  The closet door was open and empty, and the drawers were the same way.  He slowly turned around and plodded back downstairs.

“I’ll go with you,” Lance was saying to Justin. 

“Hey,” Justin said to Chris as he entered the kitchen.  “We’re gonna go look for her in the park.”

“Don’t,” Chris told him softly.

“We’ll all wait around here and…”

“DON’T,” Chris said again, interrupting Joey.  “I know where she is.”

“You do?”  Shelley gasped.

“What do you mean?” Justin froze.

“She’s gone,” Chris said dully.  “Her things are gone.”

“What?”  Justin asked, confused.

“She’s GONE.  I went up in her room and everything’s gone.”

“You’re crazy, Chris.  She’s not GONE.  She went for a walk,” Justin said over his shoulder as he went to the steps.  He took them two at a time and almost ran to Lara’s room.  He skidded to a stop in the doorway.  “No,” he whispered.  He slowly walked to the dresser as everyone else crowded in the doorway.  “NO!”  Justin shouted, picking up the locket that lay on the dresser.  He held it tightly in his fist as he read the note that lay next to it.

“I’m sorry.  I was wrong.”

 

“Look.  I don’t care HOW you get me there.  I have all the time and all the money in the world.  I need to start here and end up in Pennsylvania eventually.  Make it in two weeks’ time.  I need to get there by way of St. Paul/Minneapolis, understand?”  Lara told the man behind the ticket counter.  “I have some…unsavory…people after me, and I need my tracks covered.  Got it?”

“Yes, ma’am,” the short man behind the counter said nervously.  “Let’s see what we can do.”

Thirty minutes later she had a flight to Pennsylvania, landing in Harrisburg in two weeks.  She would fly from Orlando to Charlotte to Chicago to St. Paul.  Now she just needed to make a phone call.  “Please please please pick up,” she muttered.

“Hello?”  Lara paused when the voice answered the phone.  “Hel-LO.”  The voice was aggravated now.

“Kelley?”  Lara whispered.

“Yes.  Who is this?”

“It’s Lara.”

“Lara.  Lara?  From online?  OhmyGod.  I don’t believe this!  How great to hear your voice!  I never thought you’d actually call me.” Kelley paused to take a breath.  “Honey, are you crying?”

“No,” Lara sniffled, wiping her nose on her sleeve. 

“Liar.”

“It’s just awful, Kel,” Lara said, letting herself go.  “I can’t tell you on the phone.  I’ve already bought a ticket to Minnesota.  I…I hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course I don’t mind,” Kelley said kindly.  “Get your ass up here as soon as possible.”

 

“I can’t believe this.”  Justin sat on the living room sofa, burying his face in his hands.  “What happened?  One moment she was opening gifts, and the next…she’s just GONE.”

“You didn’t do anything, Justin.”  Shelley sat down next to him and put an arm around his shoulders.  “You know what she’s like,” she continued softly.  “She’s like a frightened animal. The slightest thing is bound to send her running.”

“But she knows I understand.  She knows I know everything and love her anyway!”  Justin insisted.  “Maybe she realized I was just too young for her.”

“That’s not true and you know it, Justin,” Chris told him.  “That was way not an issue.  Not after all she’s been through.”

“Maybe she just needed a good lay,” Joey said to try to ease the tension.  In a split second Justin had him on the ground with a fist pulled back.

“Fucking TAKE THAT BACK, Joey Fatone!”

“What?  I was joking!  Okay…okay…I take it back!”  Joey yelled.

“Justin, back off!”  JC yanked Justin off their friend.  “What’s that all about?”

“She was raped, okay?”  Justin finally yelled.  “The reason it took me forever to get her to trust me is because that asshole ex of hers raped her.  Twice.  Wouldn’t you be scared of men?”  Justin got up and stared out the window.  “I thought I got through all that though.”  He ran a hand through his curls.  “She’s gone…and no one is better at hiding then Lara.”

 

“And that’s everything,” Lara said to Kelley the next morning as they sat in Kelley’s apartment.  She had landed in St. Paul at around eight in the morning and Kelley had called in sick to work.  “I thought he understood.  I thought he really cared.  But all along he was pretty much ashamed of me and the way I looked.”  She added another tissue to the pile of white in front of her.

“He IS a spoiled pop star,” Kelley pointed out.

“He’s NOT spoiled!”  Lara snapped before she thought, and Kelley smiled.

“Yeah…you hate him all right.”  She stood and went to make them some tea.  “I still can’t believe you have been hanging out with NSYNC all this time.  If it was Backstreet Boys, man, I would be ON your ass to get me an introduction to Howie.”

Lara barely smiled.  “And I’d definitely introduce you.  I hear he’s really nice.”

Kelley came back to put her arm around the friend she had talked to online for over a year but had never met in person.  “I have a fireplace.  Anything you’d like to sacrifice?”

Lara giggled through her tears and put her head on Kelley’s shoulder.  “No.  He gave me a locket for Christmas, and I left it there.”  She looked at the silver and sapphire ring on her finger.  “I couldn’t get rid of this.  I started to pull it off and I just couldn’t.”  She jumped up suddenly.  “I DO have something to show you, though.”  She went to her luggage and pulled out a large canvas bag.  She unzipped it and pulled out a painting.  “Check this out.”

“That’s beautiful,” Kelley said.

“Chris had it painted for me.  It’s my cabin in Pennsylvania…and that’s me and…well…you know who.  I couldn’t leave it behind.  I bought this bag at an art store and carried it with me on every plane.”

“Will you go back there?”

“To the cabin?  I don’t think so.”  Lara took the cup of tea Kelley handed her and stared down at the steam.  “I want to go back and get some things, if the weather holds out for a bit.  My computer, my books, some other things…and then I need to call a doctor.”

Kelley stared at her.  “A doctor?”

“I’m gonna get this surgery done, Kel, and not for him.  For ME.  One thing Justin said IS true.  This is gonna hound me until I get past it.  I’m letting David win.”

“You can stay here as long as you like,” Kelley said generously.  “We have some great doctors…”

Lara shook her head.  “I’m going home.  Hershey Medical Center is affiliated with Penn State University, and they have some of the best doctors in the country.  I want to be home when this happens.”

“I have some vacation time coming.  Want me to come with you?”

Lara’s eyes filled with tears.  “If you could…yes.  I’d love that.”

 

“I’m gonna check my email,” Shelley said to Lance as they returned to his apartment.

“Okay.  I need to take a shower.” He ran his hands through his short hair.  “It’s been a rough day.”

“Yeah,” Shelley said sadly, already missing her friend.  Lance came over and kissed her forehead.

“I’m sorry, Honey.  She’ll pop up sooner or later.”

“I hope so,” Shelley replied, smiling up at him.  Lance padded off to the shower while she went online.  She almost jumped out of her seat when she saw the subject to an email from an unfamiliar address:  “It’s Me.”  She quickly opened the email.

“Shelley…it’s Lara.  I’m sorry to have run off like that, but things were just all wrong there and I needed out.  Everyone was so nice, and Justin, well…let’s just say I totally misjudged him.  I did learn something from him though, and I plan on putting it to good use.  Please tell Chris that I love him bunches, and he may hear from me someday.  I’m fine, and safe, and with a friend.  I’ll keep in touch with you, though I’ll never let you know where I am.  Justin could find out by accident, and I never want to talk to that bastard again.  Love, Lara.”

Shelley stared at the screen for a long moment, then went into the bathroom.  “LANCE!”  She screamed over the running water.  The water shut off.

“What? Are you okay?”  Lance poked his dripping head out of the shower.

“Yes, I’m fine.  I need Justin’s phone number.”

“Is that all? God, you sounded like you were being stabbed or something.”  Lance rattled off the number.  “What’s going on?”

“I got an email from Lara.” Shelley headed back to the bedroom.

“Really?”  Lance grabbed a towel and dripped after her. 

“Yes…she’s safe.”  Shelley motioned to the monitor as she picked up the phone.  Lance sat down to read the email as she dialed.

“Hello?”  Justin answered on half a ring.

“Justin, it’s Shel.”

“Oh…hey, Shelley,” Justin said wearily.

“Look…Justin…I heard from Lara.”

“You did?  Where is she?”

“I don’t know.  She won’t tell me. Just that she’s with a friend and safe.”

“She must’ve taken a plane.  I’ll go to the airport and start asking around!”

“Don’t, Justin. She’s smart.  She’ll cover her tracks,” Shelley reminded him gently.  “If she doesn’t want to be found, we won’t find her.”

“You’re right,” he said with a sigh.  “Did she say anything about me?”

“Um, no,” Shelley said quickly.

“You are a bad liar, Shel.  Tell me.”

“She…uh…she called you a bastard, Justin.”

“She WHAT?”  Justin gasped.  “Oh, God.  I don’t even know what I did.”

“You may never know, Justin.  I’m sorry.”

“Thanks for calling, Shel.”

Justin hung up the phone and slowly made his way downstairs.  His parents still weren’t back from the party, and he was alone in the big house.  He walked to the family room and stopped short when he saw the mistletoe where he had first kissed Lara.  He tore it down, then went to the fireplace. Staring at the dying embers, he threw the small piece of plant into the flames.

 

A Month Later

 

“You realize that the fading will be gradual,” the doctor told Lara as he sat in front of her.  Kelley was right by her side, holding her hand.  “You have to put the lotion on that I’ve given you, and do your best to stay out of direct sunlight this summer. Understand?”

“Yes, sir,” Lara promised.  The bandages had come off, and she was ready to see her own face again.  He slowly held out a hand mirror and she took it.  She gasped as she caught sight of herself.  It was nowhere near the way she had once looked, but it was a vast improvement.  Instead of angry red welts, there were vaguely noticeable long lines on her face.  She smiled. “Ouch.”

“Careful.  You have to be careful,” the doctor said with a smile.  “The area is really going to be sensitive for a while.”

“What do you think?”  Lara turned to Kelley.

“I think you looked fine before…but it looks good.  Really good,” Kelley told her.  Lara grinned again.

“Ouch.”

 

“Justin.  Earth to Justin.”  Chris waved a hand in front of Justin’s face. 

“Huh?  Oh…sorry.” Justin had been staring out the window of the bus. They were pulling up in front of the hotel in New York.

“Come on.  Let’s get inside.”  Chris sighed as he picked up Justin’s backpack as well as his own.  The younger man had been a shadow of his regular self for over a month, wandering around aimlessly, doing what he was told.  In front of press and the fans he put on a very good show, acting like the same old energetic Justin.  In private, however, he was miserable.

Justin followed Chris inside, and Chris herded him into JC’s suite.  The other guys were waiting there.

“You HAVE to snap out of this, Justin,” Lance said finally.  “There are other women out there.”

“I don’t WANT other women,” Justin snapped, pacing. “Maybe I don’t want any woman at all.  Maybe I want YOU, Lance.”

“You’d pick Lance over me?”  Joey looked truly offended.  Lance glared at him.

“You need to let it go, J. The group is starting to suffer,” JC said gently.  “I’m not trying to be mean, but you need to forget her.”

“Normally, I WOULD be able to forget her, JC.  But this is different.  I don’t know what the hell I did, and it’s killing me.”

“I’m sorry, Justin.”  Chris sat by his friend and gave him a half-hug.

“You’ve heard from her, haven’t you?”  Justin turned on Chris angrily.  Chris had been avoiding the subject of Lara for weeks.

“Um…well…” Chris played with the drawstring to his fleece jacket.  “Yeah…she emailed me to let me know she was okay and all…but I swear I don’t know where she is.”

“Did you bother asking her what happened?”  Justin said sharply.

“Before I could even try she told me not to bother…she wasn’t going to tell me.  She knew you and I are close and didn’t want to get in the way of our friendship.”  Chris looked at Justin sadly.  “Let it go, man.”

“Fine.  Let it go. That’s what I’ll do.  Let it go.”  Justin slammed the door behind him as he stalked from the room.

THREE WEEKS LATER

“Are you sure about this?”  Kelley gasped as Lara finished telling her her plan.

“Absolutely.  I’m tired of living in fear.  I have a career, and I plan on continuing it without hiding.  I’m almost finished with my next book…and I plan on publicizing it as much as possible.  It’s time that all the people who email me and write me, telling me how great my books are, know who the person is behind the stories.”

“Lara…what about…”

“David?”  Lara actually shook at the mere thought of his name.  “I can’t run anymore.  I’m going to hire a bodyguard.  Mikey, one of the NSYNC bodyguards, gave me some names and phone numbers.”

“Okay,” Kelley said worriedly.  She was packing to return home in a few days.  She stopped short, holding a pair of socks.  “Did you say you finished your next book?”

“Almost,” Lara answered softly, staring out the window.  “It’s amazing how inspirational heartbreak can be.”

One Month Later

 

“I can’t believe we’re back in New York AGAIN,” Lance grumbled.  “When do we get to go home?”

“You just wanna get home to Shelley,” Justin said with a smile.  He was finally able to smile and joke more, and the guys were relieved.  He had actually flirted with a few girls at the last three or four clubs they had gone to, and he seemed like his old self again.

“Yeah, so, what if I do? I didn’t even get to see her on Valentine’s Day.”  Lance pouted as he picked up his carryon bag and exited the plane.

“This one will be quick,” JC promised as they climbed in the limo.  “We have this Today Show thing to do tomorrow, and then we’re off to sunny LA for a well-deserved vacation.”

“Yes.  Well-deserved vacation with Shelley,” Lance said dreamily, staring out the window.  Shelley would be meeting them in Los Angeles, and then she and Lance were going off to meet her family.

“What are you gonna do in California, Joey?”  Justin asked his friend.  Joey shrugged.

“Look for some hot chicks, hang on the beach…I dunno.  You?”

“No clue.” 

“I’m gonna find Gwen Stefani and steal her from whatshisname,” Chris said confidently and everyone laughed.

“Dinner?”  JC asked as they piled out in front of the hotel.

“Nah…eat in,” Justin suggested.  Everyone agreed, and they met in Joey’s hotel suite twenty minutes later.

“Chinese,” Lance suggested.

“Pizza,” Chris added.

“Chicken,” JC begged.

“Whatever.  I don’t care,” Joey said, flopping down in front of the TV.  The guys finally decided on burgers and fried chicken, and Justin went to the bedroom to call an order in, since the guys were too loud for him to hear in the living room.  Joey flipped through the channels.

“Wait…wait…Joe…back up,” Chris said, his eyes glued to the TV.  “Oh my God.”

“What?  I don’t…holy hell.”  Four pair of eyes went to the bedroom door, then flew back to the TV.  “Turn it up, Joe,” Lance said.  Joey turned up the volume.

“Katherine Morgan was kind enough to welcome us into her penthouse suite at a local hotel for this interview.  Thank you, Katherine.”

“You’re welcome, Mary,” Lara said with a smile, inviting Mary Hart from Entertainment Tonight to sit down.

“Holy shit,” Chris whispered.  Scars were barely visible on Lara’s face, and a happiness and serenity lit up her eyes like he had never seen before.

“Tell us about this new book.  You wrote it in record time.”

“Yes, I guess I did.  It’s called “A Trusting Heart,” and it’s about a woman who is used and abused by several men, and counts on each one to save her from herself, but she finally finds the courage to do things on her own and make her life go the way she wants it.”

“That sounds interesting.  So…any special reason why you decided to start doing publicity now, after all the books you’ve already written?”

“Just the fact that I have changed many things in my own life, just like my heroine…and this was one of them.”

“Quick…here comes Justin.  Turn it!”  Lance hissed.  Joey fumbled with the remote and it fell on the floor.  Four pair of hands grabbed for it and none of them got it in time.

“What’s the pile-up for?”  Justin asked, laughing.  The smile froze on his face as he looked at the television.  “Lara…”

“Thank you, Katherine, for giving us this interview.  I know you’ve been busy.  Back to you in the studio…”

Joey finally grabbed the remote and turned off the TV.  All of the guys stared up at Justin.  “Um…J…” Joey began.

“No…no one say anything.”  Justin sat down hard on the sofa.  “Did you see?  Did you see her face?  She had the surgery.”  A smile slowly crossed his face.  “She was beautiful.  More beautiful than ever.”

“Justin…it looked like she might have been in New York,” Chris said slowly.  “They didn’t say, but the way the scenery looked outside her window…it looked like Manhattan.”

“You could ask around, get people to look for her!”  JC said excitedly.

“No.”  Justin stared at his feet.  “I’m not gonna do that.  For all I know that could have been taped a week ago, and she’s long gone by now.  Besides…she hides well, remember?  This city is huge.”  He stood.  “I’m going back to my room.  I’m not hungry.”

 

The next morning they were all up at five and pilling into a limo to head over to the NBC Today Show studio.  They all looked tired, JC especially, but Justin looked like death warmed over.  “Damn, J, the makeup people are gonna have to work a miracle on you,” Chris tried to joke.

“I didn’t sleep much last night,” Justin said gloomily.  Visions of Lara kept running through his brain like some satanic VCR on fast forward.

JC clapped him on the back.  “I’m sorry, man.  We tried to turn it off before you came out.”

“I know.  Thanks, guys.”

They went in the side entrance, pretty much ignoring the fifty or so fans who were already out front screaming.  They were too tired to be very pleasant.  One of the makeup artists herded them into the makeup room, and they were quickly put into basic TV stage makeup.  Another NBC staff person led them down the hall to the green room.  “The other guests are already here,” she informed them, opening the door.

“Like who?”  JC asked.

“Um…let’s see…Chris Rock, Ellen DeGeneres, and…” the woman checked her clipboard.  “Katherine Morgan.”

“Katherine Morgan?”  Chris gasped.

“Yes?”  Lara answered as she heard her name spoken.

 

“Oh my God,” Lara whispered, her blue eyes growing huge as she stared at them each in turn, looking at Justin last.  Her face turned pale under her makeup.  Chris was the first to move.

“Hey!”  He ran over and swept Lara into his arms, whirling her around in a big hug.  “I’ve missed you!”

Lara finally giggled.  “I’ve missed you, too, Chris.  Even though we talk like EVERY day.”

“I know…it’s not the same though.”  He put her down and looked into her eyes.  “How are you really?”

“Good…honest,” she told him sincerely.  “Hey Lance, Joey, JC.  Justin,” she finished coldly.

“Hello, Lara,” Lance said, and the other guys mumbled a greeting.  Chris took Lara’s hand and led her to a loveseat before Justin could say anything.  He immediately started drilling her about her book.

“God…J…I’m so sorry,” JC said sympathetically.  “I can’t believe this.”

“Neither can I,” Justin said softly, wandering over to the small buffet that had been set up for them.  She looked incredible, and he couldn’t take his eyes off of her.  She wore a dark blue stylish suit with a short skirt, and her long hair was piled up into a loose bun, with curly tendrils hanging down.  “I can’t believe she’s doing this.  I can’t believe she’s out in public, going on national television.”

“Maybe you could talk to her after we’re all done,” Joey suggested.  “That staff chick told us that she’s last.  You could wait around.”

“Maybe,” Justin said absently.

 

“You should talk to him,” Chris said softly.  Lara’s eyes grew cold.

“I have nothing to say to Justin Timberlake, Chris.  I know what he thinks of me, and I’m not about to let him hurt me again.”

“Lara, what the hell are you talking about?  Justin’s been MISERABLE since you ran off!”  Chris proclaimed.

“Miserable that he was found out, maybe.  Look…I think my makeup needs freshening.”  Lara stood.  “It was wonderful to see you, Chris, and I hope we can get together someday.  I need to go.”  Lara darted out the door before Chris could stop her.

 

“I don’t want to sing “This I Promise You,” guys,” Justin said as they met with the band just minutes before they were to perform.

“What?”  Lance almost yelled.  “You pick NOW to change your mind?”

“I am not only changing my mind, I REFUSE to sing it,” Justin snapped.  “I can’t.  Not that song.”

“What do you have in mind?”  The guitarist asked.

“I Thought She Knew.”

“I Thought…J, management will kill us.  That isn’t released as a single yet,” JC reminded him.

“So?  We sang it when the CD came out, didn’t we?  Can we change?”  Justin asked the guitarist.

“Okay by me.  Easier, actually,” the guitarist said with a smile, since the song was normally performed a cappella.

“Sweet.  Thanks.”  Justin turned to the guys.  “You okay with this?  Please…I’m begging.”

“Sure…I don’t care,” Joey said finally.

“No problem,” Chris said, and JC nodded in agreement.

“Fine,” Lance sighed.  He hated unplanned surprises like this.  Justin shocked him by hugging him.

“Thanks, Lansten.”

 

“And now…NSYNC.”  Katie Couric smiled as she introduced them.

The guy smiled at the camera as they took their seats on the stools, picking up the mikes before sitting down.  Justin took a deep breath before starting.

“She was my once in a lifetime…happy ending come true.  Oh, I guess I should have told her…I thought she knew.”  His blue eyes stared directly into the camera.

 

Lara was frozen back in the green room.  She tried to make herself look away from the monitor on the wall, but she couldn’t.  “She said I took her for granted…it’s the last thing I would do…whoa, I’ll never understand it…I thought she knew.” 

JC’s strong high voice took over.  “I thought she knew my world revolved around her…my lovelight burned for her alone…but she couldn’t see the flame, only myself to blame…I should have known.  I should have known…”

Lara smiled as Joey put his heart and soul into one of his rare solos.  “A heart full of words left unspoken…now that we’re through…I’d sell my soul to have this silence broken…oh I thought she knew…I thought she knew…”

“I thought she knew my world revolved around her…my lovelight burned for her alone…but she couldn’t see the flame…only myself to blame…I should have known…I should have known…” Chris smiled in satisfaction at the end of his harmony.

The camera flashed back to Justin again.  “She was my once in a lifetime…happy ending come true…whoa, I guess I should have told her, but I thought she knew…I thought she knew…I thought she knew…oh I…thought…that…she…” Justin’s sad eyes moved down to his feet at the last word.  “…knew…”

As the last notes filled the air, Justin laid down his microphone and walked off the set, not even bothering to stay for the short interview.  Lara didn’t even notice the tears streaming down her face until the assistant walked over.  “Miss Morgan, we’ll have to take you back to makeup again,” the woman said softly.

“Okay,” Lara whispered, praying that she wouldn’t see Justin in the hall.

 

“What was that all about?”  Lance demanded as soon as they were backstage.  “We had to lie and say you were sick or something, and make a joke about it.”

“Sorry if I didn’t want to bawl on national television, Lance, so shut the hell up, okay?”  Justin yelled.  Everyone stared at him.  “Yes…I cry.  I cry.  I was about to cry there, and I didn’t want the whole fucking country to see it, okay?  Sue me, for fuck’s sake.”

“Whoa…Justin…it’s okay,” JC said softly.

“I’m not leaving here until I talk to her. I’ll see you guys at the hotel.” Justin went to the green room, determined to stay until Lara came back for her things.  The guys sighed, knowing it was hopeless to try and talk him out of it.  They went out to the limo and headed back to the hotel.

 

Lara sighed as she made her way down the hall to the green room.  The interview had been a nightmare, and it had taken everything she had to keep smiling.  She answered all the questions, hoping she gave the right answers, though all she could see was Justin’s face on that monitor as he sang.  Could they have chosen a song more appropriate to his situation?  Probably not.  She was grateful that her obligations for the day were done.  All she wanted to do was go back to the hotel and soak for a few hours…and cry her eyes out.

“Oof!” She exclaimed as she opened the green room door and ran into someone.  “I’m sorry.  I…oh…”

“Hello, Lara,” Justin said gently, pulling the door shut behind her so they had some privacy.  “How are you?”

“I’m fine.”  Lara went over to the table and picked up her purse and backpack.  “What are you still doing here?”

“I was waiting to see you.  Great interview,” he said, for lack of anything else to talk about.

“Thanks.  That was quite the pop star tantrum you threw there, stalking off stage like that,” Lara commented.

“Excuse me?”  Justin stared at her.  “I was upset…I was about to cry.”

“Poor baby,” Lara mocked, though she knew it took a lot for Justin to admit that.  He grabbed her arm to keep her from walking out the door, and noticed she didn’t even flinch.  Obviously things had changed.

“Lara…what the hell happened in Florida? What did I do?  We need to talk.”  Justin hated the begging tone in his voice.  “I still love you.”

“Oh really…I bet you do…especially now that I’d make such a lovely trophy girlfriend for your arm,” Lara snapped, pulling away.

“What?  What does that mean? Yes, you look beautiful since you got the surgery, but you always were beautiful to me,” Justin said softly, taking her hand.

“Whatever.  Look, Justin, I have to go.  I have things to do.”

“Let’s have dinner tonight.  We’re in the city until tomorrow.”

“Not interested.  Besides…I have plans.”

“Hot date?” Justin teased.

“Yes, as a matter of fact.” Lara looked up at him defiantly.

“With who?” Justin asked jealously.

“Nick Carter.”

“Nick Carter?  From the Backdoor Boys?”  Justin gasped, remembering the crush she had always had on the tall blond.  “You’re lying.”

“Oh, so you think I couldn’t get someone like him to notice me?”  Lara said, absolutely furious.  “Guess what?  I did…we met at a party two weeks ago and hit it off great.  He’s taking me out for dinner tonight.  See, it’s amazing what difference a year can make.  Nick’s only one year older than you, but he’s an adult…and it totally honest.  Nothing hidden…no lying.”

“That’s not what I hear,” Justin muttered.  Stories abounded through the music world about all the times Nick had cheated on whatever girlfriend he had at the moment, but he knew Lara wouldn’t believe that.

“Jealous much?  Look, Justin, I’m leaving.  You sang great, nice to see you, bleh bleh bleh, hope I never see you again.”  She tried to pull her hand from Justin’s grasp, and he looked down.  He ran his finger over the sapphire ring that she had never removed.  His eyes met hers and she blushed.  “Goodbye, Justin.”  Lara ran from the room, leaving him standing in the doorway.

 

“Hey…hello…” Nick waved his hand in front of Lara’s face.  “Those beautiful eyes have been a million miles away all through dinner.  Am I that boring?”

“Of course not.  I’m sorry, Nick.”  Lara turned her gaze back to her handsome dinner date.  Nick’s blue button down shirt matched his eyes, and his black dress pants made his legs look miles long. 

“Wanna tell me about it?”  Nick reached over and took Lara’s hand, gently rubbing her knuckles with his thumb.  Lara sighed, shook her head, then nodded.

“Well…it’s a long story, but basically, I ran into someone today.  Someone that I thought was in my past.  Someone who really hurt me, and I didn’t want to see.”

“Really?”  Nick asked interestedly.  Lara kept her life before he knew her a total mystery, and he was always looking for ways into the secret.

“Someone who…someone who just walked in the door,” Lara gasped.  She slunk down in her chair.  “I do NOT believe this.  A gazillion restaurants in the Manhattan area alone, and he comes HERE.  With HER, no less,” Lara groaned, as she saw the maitre’d pull out a chair for Britney Spears.  “God hates me.”

“Who?”  Nick turned in his chair.  “Justin Timberlake?  You know that brat?”

“Yes, I do.  And he’s NOT a brat,” Lara said before she thought.  She blushed.

Nick flicked his hand in the air and the waiter came running.  “Check please.”

“Yes, sir.”  The waiter hurried off.

“We don’t have to leave, Nick.  I don’t want him to think he’s chasing me away from a nice dinner.”

“We were done anyway.  I’d much rather go up the street to that ice cream place for dessert then sit here and let him ruin our evening.  Besides, the longer we stay, the greater chance I have of giving in to the urge to kick his ass.”

“You’d do that for me?”  Lara whispered.

“Sure.”  Nick gave her a lazy smile.  “He hurt you, didn’t he?  Just call me the knight in shining armor.  I love being the hero.”

Lara laughed loudly and Justin turned around in his seat, catching sight of her for the first time.  He excused himself to Britney and started over as Nick was handing the waiter his credit card.  “Hello, Lara.  Nick.”

“Hello, Timberlake,” Nick said, barely looking up.

“Hello, Justin,” Lara said with a sigh.  She motioned to Britney.  “Does she have like NSYNC radar or something?”

“Dumb luck, I guess,” Justin said, trying to smile.

“You can say that again,” Lara muttered.  The waiter returned and Nick signed the receipt.

“Come on, Lara.”  Nick stood and held out his hand, which Lara took.  “See you, Justin.”

“Lara…wait…please,” Justin said in a quiet voice.  Nick looked at Lara, who heaved a deep sigh.

“Nick, can you get our coats, please?”

“Okay…I’ll be waiting right out front,” he said, kissing her cheek before walking away.  Lara saw Justin cringe and smiled.

“Yes?”  She asked pleasantly.

“What are you doing with that snake?  He’s not what he seems?”

“I’ve found that MOST of you men are like that,” Lara replied, keeping the sweet smile on her face.  She nodded towards Justin’s table.  “So…did Britney sew together ALL her clothes to make an outfit that actually covers her whole body?”  Lara asked, commenting on the tight purple dress that Britney wore.

“Don’t. She’s not your concern,” Justin told her.

“No, Justin, I’M not YOUR concern,” Lara said.  “We are through.  You had your chance and blew it by not being totally honest with me.”

“About WHAT?”  Justin almost yelled in exasperation.  People turned to look and he lowered his voice.  “Lara, I have NO clue what I’ve done.  Tell me…let me make it up to you.”

Lara looked into his sorrowful blue eyes and almost gave in.  Then she remembered the words he had said in his house on Christmas.  “I’m sorry, Justin.  It’s over between us.  Have fun with your little Mouseketeer.”  She strode past him and went to find Nick.

 

“Much better than some overpriced cheesecake, don’t you think?”  Nick said an hour later as they sat in his hotel suite in front of the TV, eating pints of Ben and Jerry’s.

“Much.”  Lara dug her spoon into his Phish Food.

“Hey!  Back off!” He fought back by stealing a bite of her Peanut Butter Cup.  Lara giggled and dove at his ice cream once more, which he held out of her reach.  “Come on…come on…beg…” he teased, moving it all around in the air.

“I beg for no man, Carter,” she said proudly, tickling him so he would lower his arm.

“Hey!  No fair!”  His body collapsed as he tried to shield himself.  She leaned over him towards the ice cream until he was looking in her eyes.  “I bet I could get you to beg,” he said coyly.

She blushed and pulled back.  “Doubtful,” she told him, eating a spoonful of her own ice cream.  Nick turned off the TV and slowly took the ice cream container from her hand, sitting it on the coffee table.

“Why do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Pull away whenever I tease you like that.  I was just joking.  You barely let me kiss you.  Am I so revolting?”

“Of course not!”  Lara gasped.  “You are far from revolting and you know it.  Especially to me.  I just…I’m shy.”

“You’re trying to tell me you’re a twenty-eight year old virgin?”  Nick said in amusement.

“No. Far from it.  But if sex is all you want from me, Nick Carter, then we’d better go our separate ways now.  I’m not about that.”

“Neither am I,” Nick insisted, though Lara wasn’t sure she could believe him.  “I can’t help the fact that I don’t want to keep my hands off of you.”  He threw an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close.  “I can’t help that your skin looks so soft I just have to feel it.”  His hand reached up to caress her cheek.  “I can’t help that your lips are so red I just have to taste them,” he murmured, putting his mouth over hers.  Lara sighed and melted into his arms as he gave her a kiss that took her breath away. 

Nick’s hand slid down to cup her breast and she jumped a mile high. “I have to go.”  She jumped up and pulled her shoes on.

“Lara…what did Justin Timberlake do to you?”

“Nothing!”  Lara said immediately, and he gave her a doubtful look.  “I swear…Nick…this has nothing to do with Justin Timberlake.  Or you.”  She put her coat on.

“Let me walk you to your hotel,” Nick said, grabbing his own shoes.  “It’s late.”

“Nick, it’s four blocks away,” Lara protested.

“Too bad.  I’m walking you.  Where’s that bodyguard of yours, anyway?”  Nick referred to Lara’s new bodyguard, Jeffrey, who normally accompanied her everywhere she went.

“I gave him the night off.  He’s back at the hotel.”

They chatted as they went back to her hotel, and he gave her a chaste kiss outside her suite.  “Call me when you get to California?”  Lara nodded.  “Good.  I can’t wait for you to see the beach house I rented out there.  It’s gorgeous.”  He gave her the sexy Carter smile.  “Just like you.”

“You give these lines to every girl?”  Lara asked, amused.

“Nope.  Just the lucky ones.”  He gave her a sensuous kiss.  “See you in a few days.”

Lara let herself into the hotel suite, closing the door behind her. Without turning on the lights she flopped onto the sofa.  As she stared into the darkness, she tried to think about Nick…but all she could see was Justin.

 

One week later

 

“Hey, Gorgeous!”  Chris screamed from across the airport.  Lara sighed and grinned.  She couldn’t help it.  She always felt better when she was around Chris.  Being around him was hard, because of the constant reminder of Justin, but she got past all that as soon as Chris gave her a brotherly hug.

“Nice disguise,” she said, looking at his huge Stetson hat and sunglasses with amusement.

“Thanks.  Thought you’d enjoy it.  Luggage?”  Chris offered her his arm and they headed for the baggage carousel.  “Sorry Blondie couldn’t be here.  Guess he’s off doing Boy things.”

“His name is Nick, Chris,” she scolded gently.  She knew that none of the NSYNC guys liked Nick much, though they didn’t seem to have a problem with any of the other Backstreet Boys.  She tried to ignore it.  Chris was a good friend and she didn’t want to fight with him over Nick Carter.

“Oh, yeah, right…Nick.”  They stood in front of the carousel and watched the bags go around.

“There’s one…and that one there…” Lara pointed, grabbing one as Chris lunged for the other suitcase.

“Holy hell…did you pack bowling balls or something?”  Chris asked, pretending to struggle.

“You’re funny,” Lara remarked.

“Miss Morgan?  Miss Morgan!  Can I have your autograph, please?”  A young girl rushed up to Lara.

“Of course,” Lara replied pleasantly, scribbling away in the front of the paperback book that was shoved in her face.

“How about mine?”  A man said.  Lara looked up at him and swallowed deeply.  She said nothing, just quickly signed her name.

“That’s enough.”  A large blond man came towards them.  “Miss Morgan has quite a tight schedule.  Thank you for your kindness.”  He took Lara’s arm and herded her along.

“Thanks, Jeff,” Lara said with a sigh.

“Not a problem.  Does he have a car?”  He motioned to Chris, who nodded.

“Yes.  I’ll meet you at the hotel.”

“I’ll get these.”  Jeffrey easily picked up the suitcases and headed for the parking lot.  Chris’ mouth fell open.

“Man…he looks like he could eat an elephant.  And where did he come from?”

“He’s been behind us the whole time.  He’s awesome.”  Lara followed Chris to his rented Jeep.  He paid the parking fee and easily swung out onto the freeway.

“Staying with Carter?”  Chris asked, not looking at her.

“Yes.  Out at the beach.”  She named an address. 

“Impressive,” he noted.  “Gonna see Shelley?”

“I hope so.  I know she and Lance are heading out to her parents’ soon.”

“Right.”  Chris swerved into a lane to reach the exit and Lara jumped.  “Sorry.  I’m used to this stuff.”  He headed into the city.  Nick would be picking Lara up at Chris’ hotel suite.

Lara finally let out a breath when they reached the parking lot of the hotel.  Chris drove like a maniac.  “Thanks,” she said, getting out of the Jeep on shaky legs.

“Lara.  Wait.” He put a hand on her shoulder as she headed for the hotel.  “Tell me what happened between you and Justin.  I mean, I think it’s all behind him now, but I am nosy and wanna know.”

“I’m not telling you.”  Lara looked into Chris’ chocolate eyes.  “You’ll just defend him and tell me it’s not true, so forget it.  It’s bad enough that we’re in the same freaking state.  Besides, you said he’s over it.  I saw all over TV that he’s hooked up with Hussy…I mean, Britney.”

“No…I said it’s behind him.”  He kissed Lara’s cheek.  “He’ll never be over you.  He still loves you, no matter how many Hussies…I mean…Britneys he’s seen with.”

Lara sighed.  “Whatever.  Can we go in now?  I wanna call Nick’s pager.”

“Fine,” Chris said, putting an arm around her shoulders.

 

“Thanks again, Chris,” Lara said, hugging him.  “Say hi to JC and Joey for me, and tell Shel I’ll call her tonight when I’m settled in.”

“Will do.  Take care of her, Carter,” Chris ordered the younger man.

“Duh,” Nick said snidely from behind the wheel of his rented convertible.  As soon as Lara’s seatbelt was on, he squealed out of the parking lot.

“You could have been nicer,” Lara said gently.

“Sorry.  He rubs me the wrong way.  Treating me like a kid or something.”

“You ARE a kid, to us,” Lara teased.  He glared at her.

“You saying I’m a baby or something?  Just a kid compared to Old You and Old Chris?”

“N-no, Nick…I wasn’t saying that at all,” Lara replied, tears in her eyes.  The tone of his voice reminded her way too much of David.

“I’m sorry, baby.  I didn’t mean it.”  Nick was instantly apologetic.  He reached over and took her hand, kissing her palm.  “I’m so glad you’re staying with me. It will be so much fun.  Laying out all day on the beach…making love all night.”

Lara looked at him quickly.  “Um…”

“Just thought I’d try to see what you’d say,” Nick said with a smile, and she grinned back.

“Nice try.”

 

“Oh…did you bring something nice to wear?”  Nick called from the bathroom as Lara unpacked in the master bedroom.  The house was truly amazing, and she loved that the bedroom had a balcony overlooking the ocean.

“Um…yeah…why?”

“There’s this Jive shindig in the city tomorrow night…I HAVE to make an appearance and I thought you might like the chance to dress up.  It’s like a suit and tie thing.”  Nick wrinkled his nose like a little boy.

“Jive?  Oh…Nick…I don’t know…” Lara said, thinking about Justin.

“Look…Lara…there will be like a million people there.  You might not even run into him.  Your friend Shelley will be there, and you can talk to your buddy Chris.”

“Are you jealous?”  Lara said, studying Nick closely.  He wouldn’t meet her gaze.

“A little.  Did you date him or something?”

“For a bit.  We’re just friends now.”

“Do him?”  Nick asked bluntly.  She drew back.

“Fuck you, Nick.  None of your business but no, I didn’t.”  Lara stomped out of the room, furious at his rudeness.

“Lara, wait! I’m sorry.”  Nick hurried after her.  “I just wonder what happened with Justin.  You are so miserable around him, yet you hate him.”

“I can’t tell you, Nick, okay?  That’s my past.  You are my now.”

“Good.”  He took her in his arms and gave her a sweet kiss.

“Does Howie need a date?”  She asked suddenly.

“Um…he’s not bringing anyone as far as I know.”

“Think he’d mind a blind date?”

“Have someone in mind?”

“Definitely.  Call him and check…then I need to make some fast phone calls.  I’ll enjoy this party more if I have some reinforcements.”

 

Kelley’s plane landed around midnight, and Lara was waiting for her in one of the airport lounges, just as they had planned.  After the Today Show, she could go nowhere without being recognized.  It was odd but enjoyable.  Even with Jeffrey around, however, she still felt incredibly nervous, and tried not to go where there was a lot of people.

“Hey!”  Kelley threw herself into Lara’s open arms.  “I cannot believe this!  I practically had to give up a kidney, but I got the rest of the week off of work.  I’m really going to a Jive party with Howie Dorough?”

Lara laughed at Kelley’s joy.  “Yes…you are…and tomorrow we are going shopping for some knockout dresses.  I want them to PANT.”

“What’s Nick like?”  Kelley asked as they walked to the luggage carousel.

“Hot.  Sexy.  Fine.  Funny.  Sweet.  Arrogant.”  Lara smiled.  “Not the brightest crayon in the box or anything, but I don’t see him as my forever man anyway.  He’s more Mr. Transitional.”

“Wow…Nick Carter.”  Kelley pondered this for a moment.  “And the sex?”

“Non-existent, of course.”  Lara looked at Kelley in disapproval.  “You know better than that.  I’m not ready for that.”

“And how is he taking it?”  Kelley picked up her small suitcase and they headed for the parking lot.

“Pretty well…for now.  Of course, we haven’t been seeing each other for long, so he hasn’t gotten too frustrated.”

“YET,” Kelley finished.  Lara sighed and said nothing.

 

“Hey, baby,” Nick said sleepily as Lara climbed into bed at two.  She and Kelley had sat in the kitchen and talked for a long time.  Talked about Howie, about Nick…and about Justin.  Lara knew she still loved him but she was determined to let him go.  She was with Nick now.  Nick was sweet and kind…and hot as hell.  Maybe she could eventually open up to him, physically if not emotionally.  “Your friend here?”

“Yes.  She’s settled in the guestroom.”  Lara snuggled close and placed her head on his bare chest.  “Thanks, Nick, for letting her stay here.”

“No problem, baby.”  He smiled a sleepy smile.  “You can pay me back later.”

Instead of pulling away, Lara simply poked him in the side.  He laughed quietly and kissed the top of her head.

 

When Nick stumbled downstairs at eleven the next morning, Lara and Kelley were already eating breakfast.  “You guys are up early.”

“We have to go shopping.  Don’t wanna embarrass you and Howie,” Lara told him.  “Kel, this is Nick Carter.  Nick Carter, Kelley Leffler.”

“Hi,” Kelley said almost shyly.  Even first thing in the morning, with total bedhead, wearing an old pair of fleece shorts, Nick Carter was quite the specimen.  She forced her mouth not to hit the floor.

“How ya doin’?”  Nick said politely.  He kissed Lara’s upturned face.  “Coffee?”

“Just brewed a second pot,” she told him.  He wandered over to the coffeemaker.  Kelley gave Lara a drooling look and Lara tried not to giggle.  “What time is this thing, anyway?”

“Well…it’s like some sort of buffet thing, so we can show up any time.  It’s basically like a mingle opportunity.”  Nick leaned on the counter and rolled his eyes.  “I hate this shit.  I told Howie to be here by seven.”

“Cool.  That gives us LOTS of time.”

Kelley finished her toast.  “I’m gonna go shower quick.  Nice meeting you, Nick.”  She went upstairs.  Nick sat down in her chair and tugged on Lara’s wrist until she got up and sat down on his lap. 

“Morning, baby.”  He gave her sweet kisses that eventually turned more passionate.  She allowed him to caress her breast through her nightshirt, but when he tried to pull it up, she moved away.  He sighed.  “Well…it’s progress.”

“Is that all you’re after, Nick?”  Lara said sorrowfully.

“Of course not, baby.  It’s just the next obvious step.  There’s an attraction between us…you can’t tell me you don’t feel it.”

“True,” Lara sighed. 

“Besides…I’m a twenty-one year old male.  It’s my job to try to seduce you.”  He gave her such a sexy grin that she shivered.  “Go on up and get ready.”  He kissed her cheek.

 

“My feet hurt,” Kelley whined four hours later. “Can’t you just FIND something?”

“This is the last store on the block.  If I can’t find something here, I’ll wear a potato sack,” Lara promised, dragging Kelley into yet another boutique.  Kelley had found something the second shop they had visited: a short green dress with a plunging neckline that revealed a lot and promised more.  Lara assured here that Howie would most definitely drool.  “I need something perfect, Kel.  I want Nick to howl with passion.”

“Like he’s not doing that already,” Kelley muttered, flopping onto a loveseat inside the boutique.  Lara turned to stare at her.  “Lara…he is Mr. Perpetual Erection.  He wants you so bad he can barely contain himself.  You need to stop teasing him.”

“I’m NOT teasing him!”  Lara snapped.  “I’m…” she looked at the door as someone walked in.  “Oh, fuck ME.  Why?  Why me?”

“Oh, hell,” Kelley mumbled as she saw Britney Spears immediately accosted by three salesgirls.  “Ignore her.”

“Right.  Ignore her.”

“I need the PERFECT party dress,” Britney was saying as the salesgirls led her to the racks.  “Something…purple…I think.  And short.  I like short.”

“Your attention span is short,” Kelley muttered and Lara giggled.  She couldn’t help it.  “Please find something and let’s get out of here.  She’s giving me a cavity.”

“Right.”  Lara wandered over to a rack and pawed through it.  Something immediately caught her eye.  It was red.  Brick red.  Normally she preferred blues and purples, but this dress was gorgeous.  It was ankle length, with a slit that ran up to her hip.  The skirt was slung low on the hips, and the top barely covered the breasts.  The top and bottom were connected by thin strips of sheer fabric. 

“Oh my GOD.”  Kelley walked over.  “Are you serious?  This totally isn’t you.”

“Well, maybe I don’t WANT to be me.”  Lara grabbed the dress and looked at the tag.  “My size.  Be right back.”  She waltzed off to the dressing room.

 

“You do NOT have the balls to wear that dress tonight,” Kelley said as they pulled into the driveway of the beach house.

“Watch me,” Lara said.  She slammed the car door behind her and left Kelley staring from the passenger seat.

 

“Hello,” Nick said, looking up from his seat on the steps as Kelley slowly made her way down at six forty-five.  “I think Howie’s gonna pass out.”

“Thanks,” Kelley said, blushing.  She loved the new outfit and knew she looked good in it.  “Are you sure?”

“Howie’s great,” he told her.  “The nicest guy I know.  You will really hit it off.”  Nick liked Kelley. She was a lot of fun.  A lot like Lara without all the inhibitions.

“Good.”  Kelley began to pace.  “TODAY!”  She screamed up the steps.  “Lara’s a bit nervous,” she told Nick.  “She doesn’t want to embarrass you.”

“The only way she’ll embarrass me is if she wears like a potato sack or something, and I don’t think…ohmyfuckinggod,” Nick babbled to a finish as Lara carefully walked down the steps on her high-heeled sandals.

“What?”  She stopped five steps up, hesitating.  “It’s awful, isn’t it?  I look like a heifer, right?”

“FUCK, no!”  Nick practically panted.  “I mean…um…holy fuck, Lara.  Where the hell did you get that dress?”

“The same place Britney Spears shops,” Kelley answered for her cheerfully, and Lara giggled. The dress clung in all the right places and left just enough to the imagination.  Her hair was piled up in a mass of curls, with a few hanging down here and there in miscellaneous places.

“Wow.  Lara…I can’t even find the words.”  Nick was truly speechless.  Lara blushed as red as her dress.

“Kel, I had a problem with the back of my hair.  Can you come to the bathroom with me?”

“Um, sure, though it looks fine.”  Kelley and Lara click-clacked off to the downstairs powder room.  Lara locked the door behind them.

“I thought I should tell you…God…I feel like a teenager saying this…” she stumbled, blushing again.  “I’m gonna go all the way with Nick tonight, I think.”

Kelley’s mouth fell open.  “Lara…are you sure…I mean…”

Lara nodded.  “This is all mental.  I need to get past it if I ever wanna get married someday.”

“Lara, are you sure about Nick, I mean.”

“Can you think of someone better to have mind-blowing sex with?”

“Well, no…except Howie.”

“Whatever.  I just had to tell you.”

“Be careful,” Kelley said as she unlocked and opened the door.  “I mean it.”

“Yes, Mom.”  Lara followed Kelley into the foyer.  Kelley almost stumbled over her own feet when she saw Howie standing there.  His straight long hair was thick and shiny, and he smiled when he saw her.

“Hi, you must be Kelley.”

Kelley mumbled something unintelligible.  Lara poked her.  “I mean, yes, I’m Kelley.  Nice to meet you.”

 

“Okay, he’s beautiful.  Beautiful and sexy.  Beautiful and sexy and polite.  Beautiful and sexy and polite and sweet,” Kelley mumbled to Lara as the guys went to get them drinks.

“I get the idea, Kel,” Lara said, giggling.  Howie DID look nice, wearing a pair of black dress pants, a black dress shirt, and a black suit jacket.  Nick wore similar pants and a dark purple shirt, but Howie looked really sharp.

“He’s SO nice!”  Kelley continued.  “I can’t believe this.  I owe you my life.  Want my cat?  My first born child?”

“No…thanks all the same.”

“Holy shit,” a familiar voice said behind them. Lara whirled around. 

“Hey, Chris!”  She hugged him.  “Chris, this is my good friend Kelley.”

“Hello, Kelley,” Chris said politely.  “Holy shit.”  He turned back to Lara.

“What?”

“Where did you get that dress?”  Chris couldn’t keep his mouth from dropping to the floor.

“The same place Britney Spears shops,” Kelley and Lara said at the same time.

“Obviously.”  Chris walked around her in a circle.  “She could never wear it like you do, though.  I mean, daymn.”  His dark eyes were appreciative.  “I can’t believe Carter let you out of the house looking like that.”

“He was too busy drooling,” Kelley informed him.  Chris laughed.

“Here you go, Lara.”  Nick handed Lara a glass of wine.  “Hello, Kirkpatrick,” he scowled in Chris’ direction, jealousy painted all over his face.  Chris ignored him, kissing Lara’s cheek. 

“There will be dancing later.  Save me one, okay?”

“Sure, Chris.  See you.”  Chris went to mingle and Lara turned to Nick.  “Back off.”

“What?”

“You’re steaming.  Quit being so jealous.  I’m here with you.”  She pressed her body against him as she kissed his full red lips.  Nick looked flustered.

“You are so bad,” Kelley whispered to her.  Lara said nothing.

Nick and Howie introduced them to different people, but the girls soon asked to be left in a corner so they could observe and make fun of people.  They made careful note of the fact that Kevin wore a white shirt without a jacket, so they could tell Lisa later.  “I would have had Nick ask Kevin if HE needed a date, too, but I knew that would be a little much,” Lara informed Kelley.  “Maybe next time.”

“I hope so.  She will freak when we tell her about Kev breaking the white rule,” Kelley said, sipping at her drink.  She almost choked as she looked across the room.  “Oh…hell…look what the cat dragged in.”

Justin, Britney Spears, Lance and Shelley were coming in the door.  Shelley squealed as she saw Lara and came running over.  “Lara!  Oh, God.  It’s SO good to see you!”  The friends hugged long and hard.

“I’ve missed you, too, Shel. Shel, this is my friend Kelley.”

“Hi,” the women said to one another.

“I have a surprise for you.  You never got to see Lance’s Valentine’s present.”  She flashed her left hand in Lara’s face. 

“Oh…Shel…I’m so happy for you!”  Lara hugged her again.  The women stood and talked until the music started.  Lance came over to claim his fiancée and Lara introduced him to Kelley.

“You look fabulous,” Lance whispered in Lara’s ear as he hugged her. 

“Thank you,” she whispered back.  “Go dance with your woman,” she said, laughing as Lance twirled Shelley away.  Howie came to grab Kelley, and Lara was soon alone in her corner.  She didn’t mind though; she was getting many admiring looks from the different men in the room and she was thoroughly enjoying it.  Nick smiled at her from across the room and made a face.  Obviously he could not get out of the conversation he was having with another man, even though she could tell he desperately wanted to.

“I’ve seen hand towels with more fabric than that dress.”  Lara turned around to see Justin standing behind her.  She sighed, glaring at him.

“Funny…I don’t remember asking your opinion.”  She studied Britney’s short tight purple dress.  “I think I’m wearing more than your girlfriend, though.”

“She looks nice,” Justin said, defending Britney yet again.

“And I don’t?”

“No.  You look incredible.  I have never seen you look so sexy in all the time I’ve known you.”  Justin took the glass from her hand and set it down.  “Dance with me…please.  Dance with your old friend, CurlyJ, Stripes.”

Lara thought for a moment.  “Okay.” 

A slow song came on and Justin led her to the dance floor, ignoring the angry looks Britney was giving him.  Lara was the belle of the ball and Britney was furious.  “What made you buy this?  It’s not you.”

“That’s exactly why.  I’m tired of being so predictable.”

“I see.”  They danced in silence for a moment.  “You’re living with Nick Carter?”  She nodded.  “Things going okay?”

“As well as they should be,” she replied.  “We’ve gotten very close.”

“Oh, REALLY?”  Justin’s eyes asked questions that Lara quickly understood.

“No…not yet.  I wasn’t ready until now.”

“I see,” Justin said softly.  “Be careful.”

“I will,” Lara whispered, touched by the concern in his eyes. 

Justin turned as someone tapped his shoulder.  “Can I dance with my girl?”

“Of course.”  Justin gave Lara a quick hug.  “I still love you,” he whispered before releasing her to Nick.

 

“Backstreet’s back…all right!”  Lara sang as she and Nick made their way up the sidewalk of his beach house.  She stumbled and he caught her arm.  She sat right down on the cement and removed her sandals.  “Much better.”  She struggled to her feet.

“We’re home,” he told her.  “You could have…”

“I wanted them off NOW,” she said stubbornly.

“Okay.”  Nick chuckled.  “Remind me to keep bottles of champagne on hand ALL the time.”  He unlocked the door and she went inside.

“Not drunk,” she insisted.  “Just happy.”

“Okay.  Well, I’m gonna…”

Lara slamming him up against the wall and pressing her lips against his interrupted Nick.  Her body ground against his seductively.  “You’re gonna what?”  She purred.

“I’m gonna…I’m gonna…” he swallowed deeply and Lara felt him harden against her.  Nick swung her up into his arms and began to carry her up the steps.  She sucked on his soft earlobe as he walked.  He set her down on the bed and his fingers nimbly unbuttoned his dress shirt.  He tossed it to the floor as Lara turned her back to him.

“Unzip me?”  She asked huskily.  Nick’s long fingers followed the zipper down, tickling down her back until goosebumps appeared.  He kissed her slender neck, letting his tongue dart into the hollow where her neck met her shoulder.  Lara moaned as the dress puddled onto the floor at her feet, leaving her in her bra, underwear and stockings. Nick pulled her onto the bed, kneeling at her feet.  He slowly slid the stockings down her legs, kissing her toes as he uncovered them.  Lara clenched at the sheets, laying down slowly.  His hands slid up and down her legs as he kissed his way up to a bit above her knees.  He pulled her to her feet and kissed her sensuously as he reached around to unhook her bra.  He moved his large hands down to caress her breasts, sliding his mouth down to her shoulder as he did so.

Lara grabbed at Nick’s bare arms, trying to relax.  She knew she wanted him.  She could feel the familiar yearnings that she had noticed when kissing Justin.  But this was different.  Something STILL wasn’t right, and she was afraid.  She had drank a LOT of champagne, hoping to overcome the fear, but it didn’t seem to have worked.  She closed her eyes tightly, telling herself “It’s Nick…it’s Nick…NOT David” like some kind of mantra.  She still could only feel David’s touch, and she finally screamed.  “NO!  STOP!”  She wriggled away from Nick, moving back against the pillows. She grabbed a cover and threw it over herself.

“What?  Dammit, Lara, when are you gonna quit being such a fucking tease!”  Nick yelled, sitting on the bed and glaring at her.

“I’m sorry, Nick.  I’m sorry.”  Lara burst into tears.  “Don’t be mad…please…don’t be mad.”

“Why shouldn’t I be mad?”  He almost roared, and Lara shrank against the pillows.  He inched closer to her and she screamed.  Nick stared at her for a long moment, then stood.  He dug through a drawer, then pulled out a large tshirt.  “Here.  Put this on.”  He looked away as Lara yanked it over her head.  He cautiously sat down, then slowly moved to sit beside her.  He put an arm around her and she jumped.  He sat motionless for a moment, then she finally snuggled close to him.  “What’s going on?”  Nick finally asked.  “You need to tell me.  I’ve tried to be patient but…”

“You HAVE, Nick, and I appreciate it.”  Lara took a deep breath.  “I was raped.  I was raped and attacked.”

“Did Justin…”

“Oh, no!”  Lara said quickly.  “My ex-boyfriend.  He raped me twice and took his keys to my face.  That’s what these faint scars are.”

“Whoa,” Nick whispered.

“I tried to break up with him and he didn’t like it.”  She sighed.  “It happened a few years ago but I’ve never really gotten over it, I guess.”  She looked into Nick’s blue eyes.  “I honestly thought I could do this tonight, Nick.  I wasn’t playing.”

“I believe you,” Nick said quietly.  “Is this why you and Justin broke up?”

“No.  He…” Lara paused.  “He said some pretty awful things about me, not thinking I would hear them.  I ran.  Pretty cowardly, but I needed out.”

“I see.”  Nick sat and thought for a moment.  He kissed her forehead.  “You can stay with me as long as you want, but I think we’d better stay in separate rooms.”  Lara stared up at him.  “I like you a lot, Lara, and I want you bad, but we’re not meant to be.  Your heart belongs to someone else.”

“What?”

“You’ve still got it bad for Justin Timberlake, Lara.  I see it…everyone does.  You’re ready for something serious and I’m not.  It’s no big deal.  I like hanging with you.  You can stay here…we’ll just be friends, that’s all.” 

Lara sighed, then kissed his cheek.  “You’re not so bad after all, Carter.”  She stood up and made her way to the bathroom.  She heard Nick packing up some things and figured he was moving and letting her stay in the master bedroom.  As she splashed cold water on her face, she realized that she hadn’t heard from Kelley.  She smiled.  If she knew Kelley, she knew that she wouldn’t hear from her until the next morning.

 

“Hey,” Lara said when Kelley bounced in around eleven the next morning.  Lara was at the table reading the newspaper and drinking coffee.  Nick was still in bed.

“Hey.”  Kelley poured herself coffee and sat down.  She was still in her dress from the night before, though her stockings were off and she was carrying her shoes.  “Well?”

“You first.”

“That man…oh my fucking God.”  Kelley stared off into space dreamily.  “Beautiful.  All over.”  Kelley smiled at Lara.  “He did it.”

“Did what?”

“That whole bending over the bathroom sink thing we heard about…”

“OHMYGOD!”  Lara shrieked.  “That good huh?”

“Incredible.”  She pulled a paper out of her purse.  “Gave me his cellphone number.”  Kelley crumpled it up and tossed it in the general direction of the trashcan.  Lara gaped at her.  “Let the man sit around and wait for the call for once.  I’m going back home in a few days.  I probably won’t see him again.  No big deal.”

“I cannot believe you just did that,” Lara said, a big smile on her face.

“Tell me.”

“It didn’t happen,” Lara said with a sigh.  “I freaked out.”

“What?”

“I couldn’t do it, Kel.  It was too scary.”  Lara looked at her.  “He was cool about it, though.  Said I’m still in love with Justin.”  Lara wrinkled her nose.

“You are.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“Am not.”

“Whatever.”  Kelley stood.  “I need a shower.”  She turned back around.  “Does this mean Nick’s up for grabs?”

“Yes.”

“Sweet.  A horny twenty-one year old upstairs asleep.  I love it.”  She smiled wickedly.  “What are we doing today?”

“Shopping?”

“Sounds good.  I’ll be down in a bit.”  Kelley went upstairs.  Lara prayed that Nick was safe before turning back to her paper.

 

 

“We should be back around four or five,” Lara told Nick as she and Kelley got ready to walk out the door.  “I wanna show Kel Rodeo Drive before she has to go back home.”

“Okay.  I’ll call something in for dinner.”  Nick kissed her cheek.  “Have fun.  See you, Kelley.”

“Bye!”  The girls called over their shoulders.

Nick sighed as he closed the door, then went to his electronic address book.  He couldn’t believe he was doing what he was doing, but it was the right thing and he knew it.  He made a few calls, asked some questions, then finally got the information he was looking for.

“Beverly Hilton,” the receptionist asked.

“Room four-oh-seven, please.”

“Yo,” a male voice answered.

“I need to talk to Justin Timberlake.”  Nick made a face as he said it.

“This is he.  Who’s this?”

“Nick Carter.”

“You’re kidding…who the hell is this really?  Chris?  Joey?”

“It IS Nick Carter,” Nick snapped almost angrily.

“Look, I don’t know WHO you are, but Nick Carter would never call me.  We…”

“I KNOW that, and I wouldn’t call you unless it was DAMNED important.  It’s about Lara.”

There was silence on the other end.  “Lara?  Is she okay?  Did something happen?”

“No…nothing happened.  BELIEVE me,” Nick said with a sigh, still feeling the frustration of the night before.  “I just need to talk to you about her.  What’s your schedule?”

“Now?  Um…nothing.  We’re free all day.”

“Can you get a ride out to my beach house?  Lara and Kelley are out shopping for the afternoon.”

“Um…sure…” Justin answered warily.  “What’s the address?”

 

An hour later Justin was knocking on Nick’s door.  “Hey,” Nick said when he opened it.  “Thanks for coming out so quickly.”

“No problem.” 

Nick led Justin through the house to the back deck.  “Want anything?  Beer?  Iced tea?”

“No…I’m cool.”  Justin plopped down onto the swing.  Nick sat a few feet away on a deck chair.  “What the hell is this all about, Nick?  Wanna brag about bagging her or something?  I know you guys were getting close.”

Nick glared at the younger man.  “No…I’m not bragging about shit.  Not that you need to know, but I didn’t bag her.  She freaked on me.”  He looked Justin in the eye.  “She told me…about her ex.”

“Shit,” Justin whispered, surprised.

“I thought you did it, but then she told me it had nothing to do with why she bailed on you.”

“Did she mention why she DID bail?”  Justin couldn’t help but ask.

“You don’t know?”  It was Nick’s turn to be surprised.  Justin shook his head.  “All she said was that she overheard you say what you really thought about her…and it wasn’t very nice.  THAT’S why she bailed.  She felt she couldn’t trust you.”

Justin jumped to his feet and began to pace.  “I have NO clue what I said to hurt her.  I swear to God, I didn’t think anything other than what I told her to her face!”  He was talking to himself more than Nick.  “I loved her.  LOVE her.  Still love her.  I’d do anything just to get her to talk to me, to tell me what’s up.  But she won’t.”

“That’s why you’re hear now,” Nick told him.  “I want you two to sort this out.  She still loves you, Justin, though she won’t admit it.  She and I are good friends, and the attraction is there, but Lara belongs to you, heart and soul.”  It was hard for Nick to admit, Justin knew, and he looked at Nick admiringly.

“You’re doing this for her?”

Nick shrugged.  “Yeah…her friend Kelley’s kinda cute.  I might make a move on her…if I can get Lara out of the house.”  He gave Justin his lopsided grin to show he was joking…sort of.

 

“Okay, you realize I may have to like go into debt for today,” Kelley said as Lara let them into the house.  Lara stared over her shoulder at the unfamiliar car in the driveway, then realized that Nick must have a friend over. 

“Kel, I told you…let me give you that outfit.  Consider it a birthday present.”

“My birthday is in OCTOBER,” Kelley reminded her.

“So?  Nicky?  We’re home!”  Lara yelled.

“Out back!”  She heard Nick shout.

“I can’t take that,” Kelley continued to protest.

“Yes you can.  You can and you…” Lara froze as she saw Justin on the back deck.  “You can and you will,” she whispered. 

“Hey,” Justin said quietly.

“Hey,” Lara repeated.

“Kel, how about a drive?”  Nick asked.

“Sounds great.”  Kelley did an about-face and headed for the door.  Nick followed her, leaving Justin and Lara staring at each other.

 

Lara and Justin continued to stare at each other for a long moment.  “What are you doing here?”  Lara asked finally.

“Nick called me and told me to come over.”  Justin decided to be honest.

“Why?”  Lara curled up on the chair that Nick had been sitting on.  Justin took his place on the swing.

“I was surprised myself when he called.”  Justin ran a hand through his curls.  “He thought you and I should talk.”

“It’s really none of his business,” Lara said angrily.  Justin sighed.  She was so damn stubborn.

“Yes, it is.”  Justin looked into her eyes.  “Heard things didn’t turn out so well last night.”

Lara blushed.  “That had nothing to do with you.”

“I didn’t think it did,” Justin told her quietly.  “He said you freaked.  I’m sorry about that. I hate the thought of how that must make you feel…remembering.”

Lara looked at him.  This was her friend.  Her best friend.  The best friend that she missed.  “It was pretty awful,” she admitted.

“He then told me that he thinks that you still have feelings for me.  I told him I still have feelings for you.”  Justin decided to lay it all on the table.  “I love you, Lara.  I never ever stopped.  I tried to replace you with Britney, but, damn…what a mistake.  She’s not half the wonderful woman you are.  I miss you so much. I miss the kissing…the snuggling…but most of all I miss my best friend.  If nothing else, I want us to be able to talk again.”

“I don’t want to talk to you!”  Lara said, tears streaming down her face, but there wasn’t much conviction in her voice.  “I have nothing to say to you, you bastard!”  She jumped to her feet.  Justin stood as well, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Dammit, will you quit being such a fucking baby?  You’re supposed to be the adult out of the two of us, but you’re acting like a stubborn child!”  Lara gaped at him.  “How the hell can I make up for whatever I did if you won’t even TELL me what I did?”

Lara swallowed deeply.  “You…you said…you said on Christmas that my face bothered you.  You said that you thought I should get the work done, but refused to pay for it because it wasn’t your concern.”  She angrily wiped away tears, surprised at the relief she felt at finally telling him.

Justin looked at her in confusion.  “When did I say that?”

“I went upstairs and came back down…you guys were all in the family room talking…” Lara stared at him.  “You didn’t think that?”

“FUCK NO!”  Justin almost screamed.  He couldn’t believe it.  THIS is what it was about?  “They were asking why I didn’t pay for it, and I said because I didn’t think it was necessary, and it was your choice to make. I knew that it was part of all the David baggage, and it wasn’t my place to get you to do it.”  Justin took her hands in his.  “Lara, I thought you were beautiful, scars or not.  The only reason the whole situation even bothered me was because you were so upset every time you thought someone was looking at you wrong.”

“You…you…you thought I was beautiful?”  Lara sobbed.

“Oh…baby…GOD yes…” Justin pulled her into his arms and she cried against his chest. He inhaled the scent of her shampoo and sighed.  He hadn’t realized how much he missed just the idea of holding her.  It felt so right.

Lara held onto Justin tightly, cursing herself for being so stupid.  “I’m…I’m so…so sorry, Justin.  I…should…should have trusted…you…” she stammered, gasping for breath.

“Calm down…calm down, baby.  Calm down…shhh…” Justin smoothed her hair, kissing the top of her head.  “I understand.  I probably wouldn’t trust anyone, either, if I had experienced what you’ve experienced.”

“You really still love me?”  Lara turned her tear-stained face up to him.

“Of course.  Never stopped.”  Justin lightly kissed her nose, wiping away her tears with his smooth thumbs.

“I love you, too,” she whispered.  “Never stopped.”

Justin cradled her face in his hands.  “Can I kiss you?”

Lara giggled through her tears.  “Are we back to you asking that every time you wanna kiss me?”

“Not if you tell me I’ll never have to ask again.”

“You’ll never have to ask again,” she whispered, sighing as his lips met hers.

 

“What do you think?”  Kelley asked Nick as they pulled into the driveway about ninety minutes later.  “Think they’re talking?”

“I hope so.  I wanna get back in my house!”  Nick gave her the patented Carter smirk.  “Gonna tell her what we just did?”

“If she asks,” Kelley replied, straightening her tank top and checking her lipstick in the rearview mirror.

“You’ll tell her?  Really?”

“If she asks.”  Kelley got out of the car.  “And trust me.  She’ll ask.”

 

When Nick peeked through the kitchen window, he saw Lara and Justin snuggled onto the lounge chair, wrapped in each other’s arms.  “I hate to interrupt,” he whispered.

“Interrupt.  She won’t mind,” Kelley told him. 

“Hey.”  Nick slid the door open and Lara jumped up. She threw herself into his arms.

“Thank you, Nicky.  Thank you thank you thank you.”  She squeezed tight, then drew back to look at him.  She smiled at him in amusement.  She turned to Justin.  “I’m gonna get some lemonade.  Want anything?”

“Nope…I’m fine.”  Justin sat up.

“Nick?  Kel?”

“Please,” Nick said, sitting on the swing.

“Kel?”

“Nope…but I’ll come with you.”  Kelley followed Lara into the kitchen.  Lara made sure both the screen door and the glass door were firmly closed.

“Backseat or motel room.”  Lara crossed her arms over her chest and looked at Kelley.

Kelley stared at her.  “How…”

“I could smell your perfume on him.”

“Backseat,” Kelley said in a small voice.  “There weren’t any “rent by the hour” rooms around here.”

“I don’t believe it.  Well…yeah…I do.  You haven’t had sex in so long that you’ve wondered if they’ve changed it, and then you hook up with Howie.  Then, you have Nick, who is an incredibly hot incredibly sexually frustrated young man.  Duh.”  Lara shook her head as she pulled two glasses from the cabinet. 

Kelley had the decency to blush.  “Are you mad?  I mean, he’s hot and damn yes I wanted him, but…”

“Of course I’m not mad.  I have Justin.  Justin’s who I wanted all along…just didn’t know it.”  Lara sighed and set the glasses down.  “I need to know…even in my frightened-of-sex state…was it good?”

“Is chocolate made in Hershey?”

“Oh…I hate you,” Lara whimpered.  “I SO fucking hate you.”

Kelley laughed so hard she had to hang onto the counter. “You had your chance.  Just keep repeating the mantra.  Justin…Justin…”

“Right.  Justin.”  Lara stared into space.  “Soft curls…sweet soft lips…great body…”

“Don’t forget the hips,” Kelley pointed out.  Lara whimpered again and Kelley roared with laughter.

“What’s going on in there?”  Justin called.  He could hear the laughter through the kitchen window but not the conversation.

“Nothing!”  Lara yelled quickly.  She poured the lemonade and she and Kelley returned to the porch.  She handed the glass to Nick, then sat next to Justin.  Kelley sat on another chair.  “So…how about we all go out for dinner?  I feel like celebrating.”

“Sounds good.”  Justin kissed the side of her head.  “My treat.”

“Sounds fun, but I can’t.  My flight leaves at seven,” Kelley said.

“What flight?”  Lara demanded.

“My work here is done.  Consider me the fairy godmother that has worked her magic but must now return to her home.” Kelley’s eyes twinkled.  “You are happy, and that’s all that mattered.  You only brought me out here as reinforcement, right?”

“Well, yeah,” Lara said in a small voice.  She would miss Kelley desperately.  She was almost afraid to be on her own.

“You’ll be okay,” Justin whispered in her ear.  “I’ll be with you.”  Lara turned to stare at him.  Once again he had read her heart.  She snuggled closer to him.

“We drove out to the airport and switched her reservation,” Nick told them.  Lara glanced at Kelley, and in an instant she knew exactly where the car had been parked for the backseat rendezvous.  Kelley jumped to her feet.

“I should go pack, then.”  She headed into the house. 

“So…I guess you’ll be leaving, too, right?”  Nick asked Lara.

“Are you kicking me out?”

“No…I just know that if I had a girlfriend, I wouldn’t want her staying with someone she almost slept with,” Nick said, his blue eyes twinkling with amusement.  “You don’t want that, do you, Justin?”

“Well…I can’t tell Lara what to do.”  Lara heard in his voice that he definitely did not want her staying with Nick.  “But I’d love for you to come stay with me,” he said to her.

“Of course.  I’ll go up and pack as well.”  Lara went over to Nick. She bent down and hugged him, then gave him one last kiss on his full red lips.  “Thank you for everything,” she whispered.  He smiled and nodded, and she went into the house.

Kelley was quickly throwing her things into her suitcases.  Lara leaned in the doorway.  “Yes?”  Kelley replied without looking up.

“At the airport?  In the parking lot of the airport in broad daylight?”

“We were in the long-term parking area…no one was around.”  Kelley blushed a furious red.

“Tramp.  This is so not like you,” Lara told her.

“Kinda like that dress you wore, huh?” Kelley retorted.  “Maybe I didn’t want to be ‘like me’ for once.”

“Touché.”  Lara went over and hugged her friend.  “I’m gonna miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too.  Don’t let him go again, okay?”

“I won’t,” Lara promised.

 

Lara sighed as she, Justin, Kelley and Nick stood on the front porch of the beach house.  “Thanks again, Nicky.”  She gave him a big hug.  “For everything.  Some girl is gonna be really lucky to snag you.”

“Eventually,” he said, smiling.  “Not ready for all that right now.”  He reached out a hand to Justin.

“Thanks, man,” Justin said grudgingly, shaking it.

“No problem.”

Lara hugged Kelley.  “Call me when you’re back home safe. You have Justin’s cellphone number, right?”

Kelley nodded.  “Nick’s gonna drive me to the airport.”  She whispered in Lara’s ear, “And I promise he’s only dropping me off.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Lara whispered back.  They both giggled.

Justin hugged Kelley, then he and Lara headed for his rental car.  Lara sighed again as she fastened her seatbelt.  Justin didn’t say anything, just let her sit and think.  She said nothing the entire ride back into the city, not until they were in the elevator with her bags.  “This has been a weird day,” she commented.

“A bad day?”  Justin asked nervously.

“No, of course not.”  Lara put her arms around him and hugged him tight.  “I found you again…”

“I hoped you would say that,” Justin said softly, pressing his lips to hers.

“Oh, GOD…guess you two are back together again.”  The elevator doors had opened, and Chris and Joey were standing in the hallway, waiting to go downstairs.  Chris smiled as Lara and Justin quickly pulled apart.  “Hey, Gorgeous.”

“Hi, Chris.”  Lara hugged him, then Joey.  “Hey, Joe.”

“You guys are back together?  That’s fantastic!”  Joey exclaimed.  “How…what…”

“Nick Carter, believe it or not.”  Justin grabbed one of Lara’s bags while Joey grabbed the other two.

“Nick Carter?”  Chris stared at Lara as the two men started towards Justin’s suite.  She nodded.

“He realized how much I loved him, Chris, and called Justin so we could talk.  He’s not that bad, I promise.”

“Whatever.”  Chris put an arm around her waist as they walked down the hall.  “Glad to see you around.  We still have another couple of weeks here.  Basically R and R, but we have some different things we’re looking into.”

“I’m glad to see you, too, Chris.”  She gave him another hug.  “I missed hanging out with you.”

“Well, if Justin can let you out of his sight for ten minutes, we’ll have to go have lunch or something.  Just the two of us.”

“Deal.”  Lara smiled at Justin and Joey, who were pretending to be passed out on the sofa from the weight of her bags.  “You guys are so funny.”

“We know.”  Joey sat up.  “Dinner tonight?  We were just gonna go over to the All-Star or something.”

“Maybe they want to be alone, Joey,” Chris reminded him, glaring at his friend.

“No…it’s fine with me if it’s fine with Lara.”  Justin looked at her.

“I’d like that,” Lara said with a smile.

“Okay, then.  Me and Joe were just on our way out to start shopping for Lance’s birthday gift.”

“Lance’s birthday?  It’s only March…his birthday is like a month and a half away!”  Lara said.

“Yeah, well, you don’t know what it’s like to try and find something for him,” Chris told her.  “We’ll see you guys around seven-thirty or so.  Come on, Joey.”  The two men left.  Justin looked at Lara.

“Wanna unpack?”

“I should,” Lara sighed. She hated unpacking and packing. 

“I’ll help.”  Justin grabbed two suitcases and lugged them into the large bedroom.  Lara followed with the third.  He opened the first suitcase and stared at the mass of clothing.  “Um…well…I’d better let you do it.”

Lara giggled.  “Just sit down over there and stay out of my way.”  Justin plopped down on a chair and watched her put things on hangers.  He let out a contented sigh and she looked at him.  “What was that for?”

“I’d forgotten what being completely happy was like,” he said, flashing his beautiful smile.  Lara’s eyes filled with tears.

“Oh…Justin…I’m so sorry.”

In an instant he had her enveloped in his arms.  “Don’t.  Don’t cry, sweetheart.  It’s all better now.”

“I just wasted so much time.  I was so stupid!  We missed so much…New Year’s…Valentine’s Day…” Lara gasped.  “I missed your birthday!”

“It’s okay…not a big deal.  We’re together now.”  Justin kissed her nose, then her wet cheeks, and finally her lips.  He started the kiss out quite innocently, but when Lara sighed against his lips and moved her body against his, he couldn’t help but slip his tongue between her soft lips.  She moaned and ran her fingers up to dance in his curls.  Justin’s mouth claimed possession of hers again and again as his hands slid down to grasp at her backside, pulling her body tighter against him.  He realized what he had done and pulled back.  “Lara…I’m sorry…I…” Lara silenced him by pulling his mouth down to hers once more.  It was Justin’s turn to moan.  He felt himself harden painfully, and it took everything he had to finally pull back.  “I don’t want…to rush…you…” he panted, laying his head on her shoulder.

“And I don’t want to tease you,” she said worriedly, remembering the night with Nick.  Justin cupped her face in his hands.

“Like I told you once before, I want to make you want me. Little by little I want us to get closer and closer…but you’re leading.  As soon as you want I will stop…but I’m not gonna pull back anymore.  This is all you, okay?”  Justin studied her eyes.  “I want you so FUCKING bad, Lara…but this relationship is much more than sex.”

“Okay,” Lara said slowly, a smile lighting up her face.  Justin truly loved her.  He wanted her…but he loved her more…and he didn’t want to hurt her.  “I love you, Justin.”

Justin’s gorgeous smile flashed across his face.  “I love you, too, Lara.  I’m gonna go watch TV so you can get this done…and so I don’t molest you on top of your suitcases.”  He kissed her nose and went into the living room.  Lara sighed and stared at her bags, a goofy smile crossing her face.  This is what she had been missing all along and hadn’t even realized it.  She needed Justin Timberlake in her life to feel complete.

 

Lara got a big hug from JC when he entered Justin’s suite at seven-thirty with Chris and Joey.  “Man, it is GREAT to see you,” he told her.  “Now maybe Justin will quit moping.”

“I was NOT moping,” Justin protested.

“You were moping,” Joey, JC and Chris said together.  Lara laughed.

“Lance will be back in town tomorrow with Shelley,” Joey told Lara.  She nodded.

“Let’s get this show on the road.” Justin held the door open.

Everyone chattered in the elevator.  Justin stood behind Lara with his arms around her.  He whispered in her ear, “How about a romantic dinner for two tomorrow?  Someplace really nice.  I’ve never really gotten to take you out like that, as your boyfriend.”

“I would love that.” She turned her head to kiss him.

“Okay, maybe I liked you better mopey,” Chris said as they exited the elevator.  “I’m not sure I like seeing you two attached at the lips all the time.”

“We don’t care WHAT you like, Chris,” Justin said.

“Yeah.”  Lara stuck her tongue out at Chris.

“Lara…you’re treading on thin ice.  Chris hasn’t gotten laid since…” Joey pretended to try and think about it.

“The eighties?”  JC suggested.

“Probably…and now you stuck your tongue out at him.”  JC ducked as Chris threw a punch his way.

“Kids…don’t make me separate you,” Lara said in a maternal tone.

“Yes, Mom.”  Chris hung his head guiltily as they headed out onto the street.

“I love big cities,” Justin said with a sigh, and Lara understood. In a big city like New York or Los Angeles, they could almost be unnoticed.  Especially Los Angeles.  There were so many famous people here that NSYNC was really no big deal.

They walked the few short blocks to the All-Star Café and were immediately seated at a table far in the back.  A few girls came over to get autographs, but for the most part the group of friends was left alone.

“You guys need me much over the next few weeks?”  Justin asked JC, picking the chunks of blue cheese out of Lara’s salad dressing for her.  “I know we’re on vacation here, but I also know that you and Lance have been meeting with management about a few things.”

“Yes, we have,” JC said slowly.  “No…I guess there’s nothing serious we need you for.”

Lara looked at Justin quizzically.  “Where are you going?”

“I thought we could go back to New York.”

“New York?”

“Yes…New York.  Would that be a problem?”

“Um…no…I should meet with Melissa anyway.  When did you wanna go back?”

“Thursday…day after tomorrow…okay?”

“Sure.”  Lara was intrigued by Justin’s vagueness, but said nothing.

“Oh, GOD.”  Joey glared across the room, then turned to Justin.  “Can you PLEASE like tell her you died, or something?”

“What are you…oh, man.”  Justin hid his face in his hands, almost knocking over his drink.  Britney sashayed over.

“Of all the places in all the world, she wanders into THIS one,” Chris moaned.  Lara’s heart sank.  It was all over now.  Justin would realize that Lara had really dicked him over all those months, and he’d want Britney back.

“I’ll take care of this.”  Justin stood.  “Hello, Britney.”

“Justin, why haven’t you returned my calls?”  Britney kept her voice low, but her angry attitude was enough to make people look in their direction.

“I’m sorry…you’re right.  I should have.”  Justin was serious but firm.  “I’m sorry, Britney…but I cannot see you anymore.  I never should have hooked back up with you in the first place.”

“Why, Justin?  What we had was so good…”

“I don’t think this is the time or place for this, Brit,” Justin said softly.  Britney glared at him.

“I don’t care who hears this…they should hear what a snake you are.”  She tossed her head. “Like I was saying…we were good together, baby.  We had fun going out and clubbing, as well as staying in all day in the suite together…”

“Yes, it was good…and now it’s over.  I love someone else.”  Justin smiled warmly at Lara, who didn’t smile back.

Britney looked at her. “I met you before…but you look different now.  Aren’t you that writer chick?”

Lara didn’t answer, and Justin interrupted.  “Look, Britney…just go, okay?  Go away…I’ll call you tomorrow and we can talk.”

“No, thank you. I’m through with you, Justin Timberlake…and you will someday realize what you are missing.”  Britney flounced off.  Justin sighed deeply and sat down.

“That went well, I think,” he said, taking a long drink.

“Yeah…at least she didn’t throw anything like the last time you two broke up,” Chris commented.  Justin glared at him.

“Excuse me,” Lara whispered, getting up from the table.  She almost ran in the direction of the restroom.  The guys looked at each other.

“Um…” Justin was confused.  “I thought she’d be happy.”

“Um…” Chris mimicked.  “Did you miss the whole reference to sex thing?  Supposedly you were pining away for her…yet it sounds like you spent hours banging Miss Spears.”

“Oh, shit,” Justin sighed, running his fingers through his hair.  “Nothing like that happened.  Not this time.  I swear.”

“Don’t swear at us, swear at Lara, you dumbshit!”  Joey exclaimed.  “Go find her!”

Justin hurried towards the bathrooms and set up camp outside the ladies’ room.  Many women gave him strange looks, but he held his ground.  Lara finally came out, her eyes red and swollen. She jumped when she saw Justin.  “Justin?  What are you doing over here?” She looked embarrassed.  He took her arm and led her to the side.

“Nothing happened between me and Britney.  Not this time. We hung out, we went places together, that’s all.  I guess you could say we were dating, but I only ever kissed her once or twice.  That’s all.”

“I thought you loved me all this time…and you were kissing HER?”

“What about you and Carter?”  Justin shot back.

“I thought I hated you,” Lara said, though she realized the similarities.

“Lara, I promise you.  NOTHING happened, okay?”

“Okay,” Lara whispered, allowing him to hug her.

“Let’s go back.  I bet our food is there.”  He held back before walking to the table.  He cupped her face in one hand.  “When will you trust me?  When will you realize that you are the ONLY one I want?”

 

Lance and Shelley came back into town the next morning.  Lara and Shelley took off for lunch and shopping, leaving their boyfriends back in their hotel, shaking their heads.  It was amazing.  They weren’t even planning on buying anything, yet they could spend all morning looking into store windows.

“Bonding time,” Lara explained, kissing the top of Justin’s curly head before going out the door.

“We can bond without spending money,” he pointed out.

“Oh, no, you can’t,” she retorted. “How much did you guys spend at that arcade last time we were here?”

“Oh,” Justin said bashfully, and she giggled.

 

When Lara let herself back into their suite at three, Justin was nowhere to be found.  A note on the TV screen told her that he was in a meeting with the guys and would probably be back around four or so.  A blinking light on the telephone told her that one of them had a message downstairs.  Instead of calling, she bounced down the three flights of steps and went to the front desk.

“I’m in room two-twenty…I believe there are messages for us?” She didn’t want to say her name or Justin’s out loud.  She wasn’t in the mood to be nice to anyone.  She wanted to go up and relax in a hot tub before her date with Justin.  Lara was nervous as hell and she couldn’t figure out why.

“Oh…yes…here you are.”  The clerk handed her three messages.  Lara scanned them as she headed back upstairs.  Two were for Justin, and both of them made her groan.  One was from his mother.  Lara really liked Lynn, but she was so afraid of facing her as Justin’s girlfriend.  She knew that Justin had told his mother that there was a family emergency that caused Lara to have to suddenly leave at Christmas, so she wasn’t worried about that.  She was more worried about what a mother would think of her twenty year old son getting involved with a twenty-eight year old woman.  She sighed and put the message in her pocket. 

The second message was from Britney.  Lara groaned, wondering why in the world Britney would call the hotel and not his cellphone.  She debated crumpling up the paper and tossing it, then thought better of it. She trusted Justin when he said he loved her, and she wasn’t going to let Britney ruin that.

The third message was for her, well, for Katherine Morgan.  It was from Melissa, her publisher.  Melissa was also taking care of most of the publicity for the new book, and she had booked Lara for Rosie O’Donnell on the following Monday.  Would Lara mind coming back to New York?  Lara smiled as she read that, amazed at how things turned out.  They would be in New York anyway.  Lara glared at the message from Britney, but carefully laid both Justin’s messages on the kitchen counter before going into the bathroom.

 

Justin quickly unlocked the door to the suite he was sharing with Lara.  It was four-thirty and he was running late.  He had dinner reservations for six o’clock, and he had to shower and get ready.  Lara wasn’t in the living room or kitchen.  He grabbed the messages and started to walk towards the bedroom.  “Oh, shit,” he mumbled as he saw the one from Britney.  He was thankful the batteries in his cellphone were low; she had probably attempted to reach him there first.  He crumpled it up and tossed it in the trashcan.  He had made himself perfectly clear the day before.  He set the one from his mother on the nightstand and looked towards the bathroom.  He could see light under the door and figured Lara must be in there.

Justin rapped on the door but no one responded.  “Lara?”  He called before slowly pushing the door open.  He poked his head in and grinned.  Lara was covered up to her neck with bubbles, and she was humming along to her Walkman with her eyes closed.  Apple scented bubble bath filled the steamy air.  He didn’t want to scare her so he didn’t walk in.  “Lara,” he said louder.  She jumped a mile high and opened her eyes.  “Sorry.  I knocked but you didn’t hear me.  Having fun?”

“I SO need a tub like this.  If I ever get a house, it will have a tub like this,” she told him, sighing with contentment.

“You are so adorable,” he told her, and she giggled with embarrassment.  “It’s four-thirty.  I’m sorry I’m so late.  Ends up we’re planning another leg of a press tour…but I'll tell you all about that at dinner.”

“Four-thirty?  Shit!”  Lara started to sit up, then slid down quickly.

“I need to call my mom.  I’ll be in the living room so you can dry off and start getting ready,” Justin said.  He started to leave, then turned back.  “And just so you know, I threw away the message from Britney.  My cell was off today, which is why she probably called here.  I don’t want to talk to her.  I made my point perfectly clear yesterday.”  He left the bathroom and Lara stood to towel off, a big smile on her face.

 

Fifteen minutes later, Justin knocked on the bedroom door.  “Can I come in?” 

“Yes,” Lara called back.  She was seated at the small vanity table, drying her hair.  Justin opened the door and walked in.

Justin made himself go over to the closet and paw through his clothes.  He couldn’t let himself look at Lara, because just glancing at her in her short midnight blue kimono was enough to make him immediately hard.  Her slender legs were crossed, and he could see to the middle of her thigh.  “Mom says hi,” he said, ordering his voice not to shake with passion.

“How is she?  Is everything okay?”

“She’s fine…just a mom checking in on her son.”  He found the suit he wanted.  “Mind if I go ahead in there?”

“Of course not.  I’ll be dressed by the time you’re out.”  She turned to look at him.  “Are you okay?”

“Fine.”  Justin went into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.  He turned on the cold water and jumped into the shower.

 

When he came out of the bathroom a while later, Lara was dressed and digging through her suitcase for her makeup mirror.  “Um…wow,” he mumbled, and she whirled around.  She was wearing the blue dress he had bought her for Christmas.  It swirled around her knees, and the tight bodice made her waist look non-existent.  The sleeves were off the shoulder, and the crinkly broomstick fabric made her breasts look full and round.  She blushed a furious red. 

“I can…um…I’ll do my makeup in the living room.”  She grabbed her makeup, grabbed the mirror, and hurried from the room.

As Lara sat on the sofa and set her things on the coffee table, her hands were shaking.  Justin had been wearing only a towel draped low around his slender waist, and drops of water were racing down his chest as he stood in the doorway from the bathroom.  Lara felt weak all over. It had been a long time since she had been with a man, but all she had thought of was going over and licking every drop of water from his smooth skin.  What she felt for Justin was NOTHING she could remember experiencing…not with Nick, not with David, not with any man.  Her body was already aching for his touch, and it almost scared her.  She knew it was normal to feel this way, but it had been so long.

 

“Okay, I’m ready.”  Justin hurried out of the bedroom at five-thirty.  Lara had just finished painting her nails and was waving them in the air.  She froze in mid-wave as she looked at him.  He wore a dark red suit, so dark it almost seemed black.  His white shirt was unbuttoned at the neck, and his curls were still damp from the shower.  Even from across the room she could faintly smell the cologne she loved so much.  “Well?”  Justin laughed as he did a runway strut and turn.

“Totally fuckable,” Lara said before she thought. She turned bright red and clapped a hand over her mouth.  Justin laughed out loud.  He walked over and took her in his arms.

“I could say the same thing about you.”  He kissed her forehead, then leaned his own forehead against it.  “I am suddenly wanting nothing more than to eat dinner in here tonight…but you look too gorgeous for me not to show you off.”  He called downstairs for the limo as Lara grabbed her purse.

 

“This is so nice,” Lara said with a sigh as she looked around the romantic restaurant.  The room was dimly lit, and candles were scattered on all the tables.

“I thought you would like it.  Lance found this place while he was here with Shelley last week.”  Justin ordered for them both when the waiter returned.  “Okay…about this promo press thing.”

“Before you say anything,” Lara interrupted. “I have to do Rosie’s show while in New York…on Monday.”

“Cool,” Justin said with a smile.  “I love Rosie.”

“I wanted to ask you…this is something I thought about while I was in the tub.”

“You thought about me in the tub?  Kinky…” Justin said, grinning at her.  She threatened to poke him with her fork.

“She’s gonna ask if I’m seeing anyone…you know how she is…what should I tell her?”  Lara asked him seriously.  “I don’t wanna hide it…I want the world to know how great I think you are…but it’s up to you.”

“You think I’m ashamed of you or something, don’t you?”  Justin asked, reaching over to caress her face.

“How do you do that?  Can you read minds?”

“Just yours,” Justin replied.  “I am not ashamed, and I want you to tell the world.  I told my mom tonight on the phone.”

“You did?”

“Yes, I did, and she loves it.  She really liked you.  She does NOT think you’re too old for me…on the contrary…she thinks you are PERFECT for me.  So do I.”

Lara blushed.  “So I should just say I’m with you?”

“No…I have another idea about that…but we’ll talk about that in New York.  Anyway, about this promo thing.  Next month I have to go to Canada for about four weeks.  Bunches of cities, doing the same thing we were doing here a while ago.  You’re welcome to come along, but I don’t think you’d enjoy it.”

“Probably not,” Lara said, wrinkling her nose.  Justin took a deep breath.

“Over Christmas, I looked into having a house built out by the beach.  I’m hardly home, but I’d like my own place to live while I’m there.”  He looked directly into Lara’s eyes.  “I want you to move in there with me.  It’s quiet, we’ll have our own private beach…you could write there.  My mom is just a few miles away…Lance is gonna build a house out that way, too, so you would have Shelley around…” Justin gave all the reasons he could think of.  “Please, Lara.  I want you where I know you’re safe.  I know you hired a bodyguard, but I want you to be behind big safe walls with a good security system.  And then…maybe…someday you’ll tell me  you want to live there with me forever.”

“Are you proposing to me, Justin?”  Lara gasped.

“I know we had a rough starting out period…I know we haven’t really known each other for long.  But I also know that I don’t want to live without you ever again.  I want you to be my wife.”

“Justin, this is crazy.  You’re only twenty!  You have tons of living to do…” Lara protested, though her heart was jumping up and down in her chest.  “You don’t know what it’s like to be a husband. We can’t just break up and separate our stuff.”

“Don’t do that!”  Justin snapped.  “You say all the time that you’re too old for me…well…you just treated me like a child.  Don’t.  I’m not a child.  I’ve given this a lot of thought.  I’m not saying we should get married tomorrow or anything…I just wanted you to know that I want it.  I want to marry you.”

“I’m sorry…you’re right…I was treating you like a child,” Lara apologized.  “I love you, too, Justin…I just don’t want you to make a mistake.”

“Loving you is no mistake,” Justin said, taking her hand in his.  “What about the moving in part?  I can have the house started, and you can oversee everything while I’m in Canada.”

“Yes…Justin…I’ll move in with you.”

“Fantastic,” Justin beamed.

 

“Oh, that was SO wonderful,” Lara sighed as they returned to their suite a few hours later.  She started to turn on a lamp but Justin grabbed her hand.

“Don’t,” he said.  He went to the bedroom and returned with a few candles and a CD.  He lit the candles and placed the CD in the CD player.  “I want you to dance with me.”

“Okay,” Lara said softly.  Something in his voice gave her the shivers.  He removed his jacket and threw it on the sofa.  As the music started, he enveloped her in his arms.

“I heard this song not too long ago, and all I could do was think of you.  I used to lay in my bed at night and put it on repeat.”

“Aww,” Lara whispered, laying her head on his shoulder.  He softly sang along, and she closed her eyes.

“It’s amazing how you can speak right to my heart…without saying a word you can light up the dark…” she felt Justin’s hands trail up and down her back as they swayed to the music.  “Try as I may I can never explain…what I hear when you don’t say a thing…the smile on your face lets me know that you need me…there’s a truth in your eyes saying you’ll never leave me…the touch of your hand says you’ll catch me wherever I fall…you say it best…when you say nothing at all.”

Lara swallowed the lump in her throat as Justin stopped singing and they both just stood still, listening to the words.  “All day long I can hear people talking out loud…but when you hold me near you drown out the crowd…try as they may they can never define…what’s been said between your heart and mine…”

As the chorus started again, Lara turned her face up to look at Justin. Her fingers traced the lines of his neck, then the sides of his face.  Her fingers went up, and she wrapped one curly lock around her fingertip before letting it go.  Her finger traced his red lips and he couldn’t help but lick them.  His eyes were a swirl of emotions, and she could practically feel his heart beating through his dress shirt.  “I want you to make love to me, Justin.”

 

Justin stopped dancing and just gaped at her.  “Um…what did you say?”

Lara swallowed deeply and looked up into his eyes.  “I want you to make love to me, Justin.  Here…now…I want you to make love to me.”

“Lara…are you sure?”  Justin took her face in his hands and studied her eyes.  “I mean, we have quite the seduction scene set here…romantic dinner, candles, soft music…it would make anyone think that sex was the next step.  But I didn’t mean it that way.”

“Justin, I don’t care what you meant.”  Lara pulled back so she could look at him without having to bend her neck back.  “I want you to make love to me.  What’s the problem?” She was starting to regret asking him.  She was embarrassed.  Maybe he didn’t want her after all. 

“I want you to be sure…and YES, I want you,” he emphasized, knowing she was beginning to doubt herself.  “I want you so bad…” Justin pulled her back into his arms and moved his body against hers.  She felt his hardness against her and shivered.  “I don’t want to scare you…I don’t want us to get to a certain point and have you freak out.  I don’t want you to be frightened like that again…like you were with Nick.”

“Oh…Justin…this is so different.  I was doing that for all the wrong reasons…I was trying to prove to myself that I wasn’t afraid…this is different now.” She looked up at him.  “I want you…I want to touch you everywhere…I want to explore your body with mine…I want to give myself to you totally.”

Justin looked at her for a long moment, then took her hand.  He led her into the bedroom and closed the door behind them.  For some reason he wanted to completely seclude them from the world as much as possible.  He dug a few more candles out of a drawer and set them on the nightstand.  Lara kicked off her sandals as he lit the candles.  Justin threw the matches down on the nightstand and slowly approached her.  He cupped her face in his hands again.  “Anytime you want, you say stop, okay?”  She nodded.  “I want this to be so perfect.  I’ve been thinking about it for so long.”

“You have?” Lara’s voice quivered slightly and she fought to control it.

“Oh, yes.”  Justin reached up and pulled out the long pin that held up her loose bun.  Her dark hair flowed to her shoulders.  Justin sighed with contentment.  He leaned forward and buried his face in her hair, inhaling the scent of her shampoo.  His lips touched her hair, then slid to her forehead.  He bestowed light kisses down the side of her face to her ear.  His tongue flickered out to taste her earlobe and she gasped, clinging to his shoulders.  He drew back.

“Justin, don’t. Don’t worry about that.  You don’t think I’m going to gasp and react to you?  If I’m scared, you’ll know it, okay?”  Lara told him.  He nodded and slowly bent his head to her neck.  Lara moaned and tilted her head to the side to give him better access.  He flicked his tongue out a few more times before pressing his lips to her skin.  Lara felt a shock go through her entire body, and she clutched his shoulders once more. 

Justin placed his hands on her lower back to support her as his tongue played in the depression between her neck and shoulder.  He nibbled his way down her shoulder blade until he reached the puffed sleeve of her dress.  He gave her a slow passionate kiss on the mouth before repeating the action down the other side of her head.  “You taste…so good…so sweet…” he murmured against her skin.  Lara sighed.  Her knees felt like jello, and she didn’t know how much longer she could stand it.  He brought his head up to kiss her, and she wrapped her arms around him, pressing her body tight against him.  When they finally ended the kiss, she pulled back far enough to slowly unbutton his shirt, revealing the smooth soft skin below.  She slid the shirt from his shoulders, and practically panted at the sight of him.  She pressed her face to his chest, listening to his heartbeat for a moment.  She softly kissed across his chest and back, allowing her tongue to lightly flick out to his nipples.  “Oh…GOD…” Justin hissed, clenching his fists to keep from throwing her down on the bed then and there.

Lara’s dress laced up the front, and Justin began to slowly untie it with shaking fingers, his eyes never once leaving hers.  He searched her blue eyes for signs of fear or apprehension, but all he saw was the glimmer of passion and lust.  When he undid the last part of the lacing, he reached up to her throat and gently slid his hands down her shoulders to her arms, pausing for a second before slowly sliding the fabric down.  The dress soon puddled at her feet, and Lara was standing in front of him in her strapless bra and underwear.  Justin tried to speak, but his throat was suddenly dry.  He licked his lips and swallowed.

Lara watched his pink tongue flick out across his lips and her knees threatened to buckle again.  She slowly reached around and unhooked her bra, tossing it down to the floor with her dress.  “Oh my God,” Justin whispered, moaning slightly.  “I imagined you…but this…oh God.”  He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her to him.  He kissed her flat stomach above the waistline of her underwear as he slid his hands up and down her sides.  He brought one hand down from her collarbone to her breast and allowed her nipple to harden against his palm before reaching his long fingers to gently play with it.  Lara let out a loud moan and grasped at the back of his head.  Her fingers tightened in his curls almost unconsciously, and Justin sighed eagerly as his mouth found her other breast.

“Oh…Justin…oh GOD!”  Lara almost came right there.  It had been so long, and his mouth was so warm and wet.  His tongue flickered around her breast quickly before his lips took the nipple in and sucked on it.  “Justin…” she cried out as she lost her balance.  He brought her down to the bed with him and her hands pulled his head up to hers.  She kissed him ferociously, biting down on his lower lip and sucking on it.

“Lara…don’t…” he warned in a groan.  “I want this to last.”

“I can’t help it…I just…ohhhh…” she moaned as his mouth took her other breast.  His hand slid down her stomach and over her underwear.  He didn’t want to move too fast, no matter how badly he wanted her.  He could feel the heat and wetness rising through the thin fabric, and as his hand settled to lay motionless on her body, her hips unconsciously thrust up against him.  He moaned against her breast as he slid his hand back up to push the underwear down.

Lara arched off the bed to make his task easier, and as he slid to the bottom of the bed he stood to remove the rest of his own clothing.  Lara swallowed as she looked at him.  Her eyes moved from his slender hips to his long thick cock, standing out from the soft brown hair that surrounded it. Lara sat up, keeping Justin from laying back down.  She ran a finger up his hardness and back down, and she could feel him throbbing against her finger.  Justin closed his eyes and bit down on his bottom lip.  He hissed in a breath as she slowly kissed his head, then pulled him ever so slowly into his mouth.  “Oh…fuck…Lara…oh GOD…that feels so good…” he panted, placing his hands on her head.  She bobbed up and down on him, enjoying the feeling of his skin sliding in and out from between her lips.  His hands tightened in her hair and she moaned slightly.  The moan made Justin harden even more, and he regretfully pulled out of her mouth.  “My turn,” he said with a sexy half smile.  He leaned her back on the bed and knelt on the floor in front of her.

Starting at her knees, he slowly and painstakingly kissed his way up her thighs, stopping just close enough for her to feel his breath on her.  She was soon squirming and grasping at the sheets.  “Justin…please…touch me…kiss me…something…please…” she begged.  Justin quickly complied by running a finger from her clit to her opening.

“Holy fuck,” he murmured, amazed by her wetness.  At the same time he slid a finger inside of her, he circled her clit with his tongue.  That was all it took.

“Oh…Justin!” Lara cried, feeling herself spasm around his finger.  She grabbed at his hair, clenching it in her fists as she came.

This was what he wanted.  He wanted her to experience pure pleasure before he actually moved inside of her.  He hoped it would keep her from being too afraid.  He moved up to lay next to her, kissing her cheeks and nose as she gasped for air.  She turned to him, claiming his mouth in a fierce kiss.  She rolled over so her body was draped over his, and she moved against him sensuously.  “Don’t…” he warned her. “I want you so damn bad that I can’t…”

“Take me,” she told him softly.  “Make love to me, Justin.  Now…please…I need you inside of me…”

With an almost animalistic growl, Justin rolled her back over. At the last minute he caught himself, and instead of plunging into her he slowly spread her legs with his own.  She moved up and down beneath him, teasing his cock with her wetness.  She gasped and arched off the bed as he slid himself inside of her.  “Oh…shit…” Justin gasped as she surrounded him, tight and wet.  “You feel…incredible.”  He arched his back slightly as he moved inside of her.  Lara moaned and closed her eyes, sliding her hands up and down his chest.  She scratched her nails down his chest slightly and he hissed, his eyes never leaving her face.  Her eyes flew open.

“Faster…Justin…stop holding back…” she told him, knowing he was trying to protect her.  “You’ve wanted this so long…take it…”

“Mmmm…” he groaned, moving in and out of her faster and harder.

“Oh…yes…Justin…” she panted, moving her hips up to meet him.  “Yes…”

“Lara…oh…God…” Justin couldn’t help but push himself into her as hard as he could.

“Justin…oh YES!”  Lara screamed, cumming once more.  Justin felt her nails scratch down his back and he let out a loud groan as he spurted inside of her. 

Justin rolled off of her and cradled Lara in his arms.  He buried his face in her hair as they caught their breath.  “Incredible…” he told her breathlessly, kissing her full red lips.  “Better then I could have ever dreamed.” 

“Really?”  Lara asked in a small voice.  “I was worried about pleasing you.”

“Never EVER worry about that,” he told her.  He rolled to lay flat on his back and stared at the ceiling.  “Incredible,” he repeated, and she giggled.  She snuggled over to lay on his chest, and they dozed off in each other’s arms.

 

Lara was pulled out of a deep sleep hours later by something tickling her chest.  “Stop,” she mumbled, brushing at the something.  It stopped, then soon began its lazy trail up and down between her breasts.  “Stop it!” She grumbled, smacking at the annoying object.  It moved, and she rolled over onto her stomach, burying her face in the pillow.  She shivered as she felt the cold metallic object begin to trace up and down her spine.  “Grrr!” She rolled over to lay on her back again, her eyes flying open.  She gasped as she saw what the offensive object was.

“Not a morning person, are we?” Justin leaned his head on one hand, smiling down at her.  He bent and kissed her nose, dangling the silver locket in the air in front of her face.

“Normally I am, but I…” Lara decided not to explain.  She carefully took the locket in her hands, letting the chain spill through her fingers.  “You kept it.”

“I hoped that maybe someday I’d be able to give it back to you again,” he said softly, his eyes tender and loving.  Lara leaned up and Justin fastened the chain around her neck.  “Yes.  That’s where it belongs.”  He kissed the skin right above the locket and she shivered.  His blue eyes met hers and he leaned towards her.  Their lips met as their bodies pressed together.  Lara’s hands moved up to his hair, and he sighed against her mouth.  They both jumped as the phone rang.

“What timing,” Lara said, falling back on the pillow.  Justin reached over and answered the phone.

“This better be damn good!”  He snapped and Lara giggled.

“Hey, bro, it’s Chris.  Lara around?”

“You don’t wanna talk to me?”

“I ALWAYS talk to you.  Lemme talk to her,” Chris demanded.  Justin sighed and handed over the phone.

Lara looked at him quizzically as she answered.  “Hello?”

“Hey, Gorgeous.”

“Hey, Chris,” she said with a smile, closing her eyes and snuggling close to Justin.  He leaned up on his arm once more and began to trace patterns on her skin around the chain of the locket.  Goosebumps appeared and she glared at him.  “What’s up?”

“I’ll tell you what’s up,” Justin whispered in her free ear.  She smacked him.

“What time does your plane leave?”  Chris wanted to know.

“Five,” Lara said, gasping as Justin took her hand and led it down to his hard cock.  He wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively.  “Hold on, Chris,” she said.  She put the phone down and glared at Justin.  “Will you behave?”

“What?”  Justin replied, his face a mask of perfect innocence.  She sighed and picked the phone up.

“Sorry…the child is acting up.”

“No problem,” Chris told her.  “Wanna have lunch?  I thought we could all get together before you guys leave.  I already talked to everyone else.”

“What time is it?  Ohhhhh God…” Lara hissed in a breath as Justin bent his curly head down to lightly kiss back and forth between one breast and the other.

“Eleven.  I thought we could meet at one.  Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine.  That sounds…sooooo good,” Lara moaned as Justin started to kiss down her stomach.

“We’ll see you downstairs at one.  Bye.”  Chris quickly hung up, chuckling. 

Lara threw the receiver towards its cradle and yanked Justin up by his hair.  “OW!” 

“You are such a brat!  I was TRYING to have a conversation,” she said, attempting to glare at him.

“And I was TRYING to seduce you…was it working?”  Justin asked the question with such a sly look on his face that she had to giggle.

“I’m not telling.  We have to meet everyone for lunch in two hours.  It’s eleven o’clock already!”

“Well…if someone wouldn’t have made such wild love to me last night, I might not have been so tired,” he teased, and she smacked at him again.

“Where is the line drawn between lovemaking and fucking?”  Lara asked.  Justin looked at her with a smile, then realized she was serious.

“I think lovemaking can only happen between two people who truly feel something between each other.”  Justin thought for a moment.  “Not that you want to hear this, but Britney and I fucked.  We liked each other and cared about each other, but I never felt the connection I feel with you.  I love you…and I make love to you.”  Lara felt tears spring to her eyes and she hurriedly wiped them away.  “HOWEVER,” he continued, “Two people who love each other can fuck as well…like if you were, say, alone in the shower when I got home one night, and I just came in there and pounced on you, that would be considered fucking.”

“I see,” Lara said, amused at his carefully thought out logic.  “What would it be considered if I was laying here in bed and we had to be somewhere in like two hours and I wanted you to just quickly ravage my body as hard and fast as you could?”

Justin’s mouth dropped open and he quickly shut it.  “Well, I, um, I guess that would be considered fucking.”

Lara smiled up at him from under her long lashes.  “Then I want you to fuck me, Justin.”

“I thought you’d never ask.” Justin grabbed the covers, pulled them up over their heads, and soon Lara was squealing with pleasure and giggling all at once.

 

New York

 

“Are you sure about this?”  Lara asked Justin as she had the final touches done to her makeup.  The makeup artist made a face at her, and she switched the cellphone to her other ear.

“Positive.  I’ll be there in twenty minutes…that’s about when you’ll be on, right?”

“Yes,” Lara sighed, closing her eyes.  “I’m supposed to go on in like ten or fifteen.”

“You look wonderful,” Justin told her. 

Lara giggled.  “You can’t even see me.”

“But I know how beautiful you are.  I also know how beautiful you are when you…” Justin continued to whisper in her ear.

“Miss Morgan, are you all right?  I think I have to do your face again…it’s too red,” the makeup woman told her.

“No…no…I’m just…warm…the color will go away,” Lara told her.  “I’ll deal with you later, Brat!”  She slapped the cellphone closed.

 

“She’s published thirteen novels over three years…and I know that I, at least, have read each and every one of them.  Please welcome Katherine Morgan!”  Rosie O’Donnell announced Lara and she carefully made her way through the curtain and out onto the stage.  She wore tight black jeans and a black tank top, covered by a sea green short-sleeved sweater.  She hugged Rosie and took the “hot seat” across from the desk.  “It’s great to finally meet you, Katherine.”

“You, too, Rosie.  I watch your show whenever I get the chance.”  Lara tucked one leg underneath her and got comfortable.

“Tell me something…why in the world did you suddenly start doing interviews and publicity?  You’ve been the best kept secret in the literary world for years now…what changed your mind?”

Lara looked at Rosie, then into the camera.  “Well…I had a pretty serious accident a few years ago…and I was pretty much afraid to leave my house.  I’d write and send the stories to my publisher without ever meeting her face to face.  Last year, I met someone who made me see that it didn’t matter what I looked like…and that I deserved a real life…so here I am.”

“Impressive,” Rosie said, smiling at her.  She asked a few more questions about the writing process, and the books, then dropped the bomb that Lara had been waiting for.  “So…now that you’re out in this ‘real life’…any ‘real man’ that you’re involved with?”

Lara giggled and blushed slightly.  She still couldn’t get used to the fact that Justin was HER man.  “Um…well…yes…” she stammered, and Rosie laughed.

“That is too cute!  One of my assistants told me that he’s here today.  Is this true?”  Lara nodded.  “Okay…well…bring out Katherine’s man!”

Justin strutted out on stage, wearing baggy khaki pants and a red sweater.  His trademark curls were covered by a red bandana, and Lara almost drooled at the sight of him.  Rosie screamed and jumped up, running over to hug him.  They had met on various occasions, and it was obvious every time they were on the show how much Rosie truly liked NSYNC.  “Hey, Rosie,” Justin said, flashing his gorgeous smile.  Girls in the audience were screaming, and Lara blushed even deeper.  “Hi there,” Justin said to her, bending down to give her a sweet kiss on the lips. 

“I DO not believe this!” Rosie exclaimed.  “Justin, sit your butt down next to her.”  Justin took a seat next to Lara and immediately grabbed her hand, stroking the top of her fingers with his thumb.  Lara gave him a subtle glare.  He KNEW what that did to her.  “And just WHEN were you planning on telling me this?”  Rosie said to Lara.

“I think I just did,” Lara replied, and the audience roared with laughter.

“How long has this been going on?”

“Well, we’ve been friends for months now, but we finally admitted our feelings for each other around Christmas,” Justin told her.  “We thought we’d surprise you.”

“It worked!”  Rosie told him.  “Do you mind if I ask what happened to…”

“Britney?”  Justin interrupted, and Lara visibly cringed at the name.  “Well…we realized it wasn’t working out, and went our separate ways.  Britney’s great and everything, but we are better as friends, that’s all.”

“Katherine,” Rosie said, and Lara finally met her gaze.  “Is this weird for you, dating someone who is so obviously in the public eye?”

“It was hard at first,” Lara admitted.  “But since I’ve been doing more and more publicity for my book, it seems I get recognized just as much…with less screaming, of course.”  Justin laughed at this.

“How old are you, Justin?  Twenty?”  Rosie asked, and Justin nodded.  “And you’re…”

“Twenty-eight,” Lara answered, blushing.

“Do you think this will be a problem?  I mean, a lot of people might see this as some sort of robbing the cradle scenario.”

Lara opened her mouth to respond but Justin jumped in before she could say a word.  “Oh, puhleeze, Rosie, do NOT get her started on that again.  She whines constantly about the fact that she’s too old for me, that I should find someone my own age bleh bleh bleh.  I then inform her that I don’t WANT someone my own age, if that someone isn’t her.”

The audience responded with a big “awww”, and Rosie smiled at him. “You’re a cutie-patootie, did you know that?”

“You’ve told me that once or twice, yes,” Justin replied, laughing.

“I’m glad to see you guys together…you make a cute couple,” Rosie said approvingly.

“We might not be a couple for much longer if he keeps crashing my interviews like this,” Lara teased.  Justin kissed her cheek and the audience seemed to sigh as one.

“Well…thank you BOTH for coming…good luck with your books, Katherine…and good luck to both of you in your relationship.  We’ll be right back with Chipper Jones of the Atlanta Braves!” The crew cut to commercial and Rosie jumped to her feet.  “I don’t believe you guys!”  Rosie hugged Justin again, then Lara.  “This was great.  You are so bad!”

“It was all his idea,” Lara said quickly, and Justin poked her in the arm.

“Sure, blame me.”

“I’m really glad you came in today,” Rosie told Justin.  “It was great to see you again.”

“Well, I leave for Canada soon, so I thought I’d drop in while we were here,” Justin told her.  They hugged once more, then Lara and Justin went back towards makeup.

“That went a LOT better then I expected,” Lara said, laying her head on his shoulder as they walked.

“You were wonderful.  And I TOLD you that you looked beautiful.  That green is a great color for you,” Justin said.  Lara flopped into the makeup chair.

“I’m exhausted.  Can we just go veg somewhere?”

“Only until dinner.  I have reservations someplace special.”

Lara opened her eyes.  “You don’t have to spoil me like this.”

“I’ll be gone for a while.  I need to get all my spoiling in now.”

Lara’s eyes filled with tears but she willed them away.  “I love you, Justin,” she said quietly.  Justin smiled a soft smile and bent down to kiss her.

“I love you, too.”

 

The second week of April

 

“Have a safe trip, baby,” Lynn said, hugging Justin before she headed out to work.  Even though Justin took good care of his mother and stepfather, they both insisted on working, not wanting to just bum around the house and mooch off of their son.  “Call when you get to Toronto.”

“I will, Mom,” Justin promised.  His mother hugged Lara as well.

“I’m glad you’re here, Lara.  I will keep a good eye on her, Justin,” she told her son.

“I know you will.”  Justin hugged his mother once more before she went out the door.  Lara sighed and slowly made her way up the steps.  She was helping Justin pack, and would be driving him to the airport in four hours.  “I’m gonna get some soda.  Need anything?”  Justin called up after her.

“No, thanks,” she replied.  She went to his bedroom and began folding socks.

When Justin got to his room, Lara was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the sock in her hand.  He put his soda down on the dresser and shoved his suitcase aside so he could sit next to her.  “You’re good, sweetie, but I don’t think mental telepathy is gonna get me packed any quicker,” Justin teased.

Lara looked up at him, her eyes full of tears.  “I wish you wouldn’t go.”

“I HAVE to, sweetie, you know that.”  Justin reached up to cup her face, catching a tear on the back of his thumb.  “Please don’t cry.”

“I just…I have a bad feeling about this.”  Lara ordered herself not to cry, but her body was not obeying.  Tears she couldn’t control fell from her eyes down onto Justin’s socks in her hand.

“I’ll be fine.  I fly all over the world, Lara.  Nothing has EVER happened, except for the time that we were in Barcelona and Joey’s luggage was back in Dublin.”  Justin tilted her face up to look at him.  “I’ll be fine…and I’ll email and call and page and annoy the shit out of you until I’m back.”

“You’d better not,” Lara sniffled, but Justin got the smile he was looking for. 

“My mom will keep you so freaking busy getting things together for the house that you won’t have TIME to miss me,” Justin pointed out.  Lara got up to continue packing and Justin leaned back against the headboard.  “She LOVES having you here.  She’s told me like a hundred times how wonderful she thinks you are.”

“Really?”  Lara blushed slightly as she tucked the socks into the corners of the suitcase.  “I thought…”

“You thought she’d worry about the whole age thing,” Justin finished for her.  “Really, Lara, you are the ONLY one who worries about that.  Kinda like your scars.  You saw them so much that others couldn’t HELP but see them.”

“I’m telling you, Justin, you NEED to be a psychologist,” Lara teased.  “You think you know everything about everyone.”

“I DO,” Justin corrected her, and she giggled.  Justin stood up, taking the tshirt that she was folding and tossing it onto the floor.  The suitcase soon followed.  He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his body.  “Guess what…we are ALL alone…and we don’t have to be anywhere for hours.”

“Justin!”  Lara protested, laughing as he nipped at her neck with his teeth.  They had slept in separate rooms for the time they had spent in his house and had had next to NO private time together.  “It’s your mother’s house!”

“My mother’s house that I bought for her, remember?  This is MY room, and I can do what I want…” Justin’s smooth hands slid up under her tshirt.  “And what I want to do is to make love to my girl one last time before I leave.  Maybe two times.”

“TWO?”  Lara pretended to be shocked, though she loved the stamina of her twenty-year old boyfriend.  “Think you have it in you?”

Justin’s shirt followed hers onto the floor.  “I’m gonna be away from you for over a month, remember?  I need to make sure you don’t forget me.”

 

Lara pulled the car through the private entrance to the back parking lot of the airport, showing her special security pass to the guard.  She parked the car and they pulled Justin’s bags from the trunk.  A skycap came over immediately and checked them in.  They could see Joey, JC and Chris fooling around near the doorway.  Lance would meet them in Toronto with Shelley, who would fly to Florida the next week.

“I don’t want you to walk me over there,” Justin said suddenly.  Lara stared at him.

“But I wanted to say goodbye to the guys!”

“I know…but I don’t think it’s a good idea.”  Justin took her in his arms.  “You’ll only start crying, and then you’ll sit around and wait to watch the plane go, and you’ll feel worse.  I know you, sweetie.”

“Justin, I…”

“No.”  Justin vocally put his foot down.  “Please get in the car and go home.  Go through wallpaper books or something.”

“I…” Lara’s voice failed her as she realized he would truly be gone for a month.  Justin had her tight in his arms with her head on his shoulder just before the tears came.

“I love you, sweetie, and I’ll be home before you know it.  Take care of everything here, okay?”

Lara nodded but still couldn’t reply.  Justin kissed her passionately until they could hardly breathe.  “I love you,” Lara finally whispered.  Justin gave her one last squeeze and headed for the doorway to the airport.  Chris jogged past him, heading for Lara.  He captured her in a bear hug, holding her tight.

“I promise I'll take care of him, okay?”  Chris told her.  “He will not be out of my sight for a second.  I know you don’t have to worry about him with anyone else…that’s not what I mean…but I know you worry about him anyway.  It’s your nature.  I promise he will be safe and sound at all times.”

“Thank you.”  Lara hugged Chris back.  It was nice having a friend who knew what she needed without her having to ask.

“We’ll back soon.  Email me.”  Chris kissed her cheek then trotted back to the airport.  Lara sighed and glanced at Justin.  His face was miserable, but he pointed at the car, motioning for her to go home.  Lara sighed deeply, but got behind the wheel and slowly drove away.  She waited until she was out of Justin’s sightline before stopping the car and crying until she couldn’t breathe anymore.

 

May

 

“Hello,” Lara mumbled into her pillow as she answered the phone.  One eye opened to look at the clock.  Ten-thirty.  She groaned.  She had been up late writing the night before.

“Hello, Gorgeous!”

“Hey, Chris!”  Lara couldn’t help but smile.  He was so cute.  He kept emailing her goofy pictures of Justin looking less then his best. Every time she thought she missed him so bad she couldn’t take it anymore, Chris would send a picture of Justin sleeping with drool sliding down his cheek to the pillow, or Justin with incredible Bed Head Fro, or Justin with breakfast hanging out of his mouth.  It was like he could read her mind.  “What’s up?”

“Well, your man wanted to call you, but I got to you first.  How are you?”

“Going crazy.  I’m so glad you guys will be home in couple of weeks.  Did Lance get my present?”

“Yeah, he loved it,” Chris said, and she could hear the smile in his voice.  She had sent Shelley up to Ottawa, where the guys had been during Lance’s birthday.  Shelley had been waiting in Lance’s room wearing nothing but a banner that said, “Happy Birthday from Lara”.

“Is Justin around?”  Lara asked.  She heard Chris heave a big fake sigh.

“Yes…damn…can’t even talk to you anymore.”  Chris pretended to grumble as he handed the phone over to Justin.

“Hello, sweetheart.”

“Hey, Justin,” Lara said, leaning back into her pillows with a sigh.  She missed him so much.  Two different times she had almost hopped a plane to Canada, then realized that he’d be working all the time anyway.  She was seriously considering taking him up on the whole marriage offer.  They still wouldn’t see much of each other, but she’d feel better knowing that he was her husband.  “How are you?”

“Hurting,” he replied, and she smiled.  That was what he always said when she asked that question, meaning that he missed her so bad it hurt.

“Me too,” she added.  “Why are you calling so early?”

“Oh…yeah…” she could almost see him fidgeting.

“What is it, Justin?  Is everything okay?”  Lara sat up straight in bed.  Maybe those weird feelings she had experienced at the beginning of this trip were true.

“Everything’s fine…it’s just that management wants us to duck down through New England for another few weeks after this…so we won’t be home until June.”

“June?  JUNE?  No way!”  Lara exclaimed, pounding her pillow.  “I’m going crazy here without you!  How the hell can I marry you if you’re in New England?”

“What?  Married?”

“Who’s getting married?”  Lara heard Joey yell in the background.

“Shut up, Joey!”  Justin snapped.  “Did you just say married?”

“Um…yeah…” Lara said, blushing.  She could hear the joy in Justin’s voice.

“Oh…wow…oh baby…this is wonderful!  When I get back, I’m gonna buy you the most GORGEOUS ring anyone has ever seen…and then we can start planning…we won’t move into the new house until after the wedding, and after the most incredible honeymoon you’ve ever been on!”

Lara started giggling.  “That won’t be hard, since I’ve never BEEN on a honeymoon!”

“Oh, yeah, well, true…” Justin laughed.  “I love you baby…we’ll be home by the tenth of June I SWEAR…and then I’m yours for months.”

“Okay,” Lara said sadly.  They chatted for a while longer and then hung up.  Lara slowly made her way to the shower to have a good long cry.

JUNE 2ND

“Are you sure you don’t want me to go out there with you?”  Lynn asked Lara as they cleaned up the breakfast dishes.

“Yes, I’m sure.  I would think you’d be sick of me anyway,” Lara replied, smiling.  It was a Saturday morning, and she and Lynn usually spent Saturday mornings together shopping or just looking for things for the house.  Progress was being made remarkably fast, and the house was everything she could have dreamed of.  Lara couldn’t WAIT for Justin to see it.

“I could never be sick of you.  You’re like the daughter I never had.”  Lynn kissed Lara’s cheek, surprising her.  “And I also hear that you may soon be my daughter for real.”

Lara turned pink.  “Well…um…Justin never REALLY proposed, and…um…”

Lynn laughed.  “You need to relax.  I don’t think you seduced my son or anything…and I know he’s thought this through.  You two are perfect for each other, and I cannot wait for you to become part of our family.”

“Thank you,” Lara whispered. 

“Why don’t you go now?  I’ll get these dishes done…that antique place doesn’t open until noon, anyway.”

“Okay.”  Lara ran up the steps to get her sandals.  She was going out to the house to look something over in the master bedroom area.  She had some ideas for decorating the adjoining bathroom, but she wasn’t sure about the measurements.  “I’ll see you later!”  She called over her shoulder to Lynn as she ran out the door.

 

Lara carefully pulled her car to the side of the dirt driveway and parked. She sighed as she looked at the house.  It was truly a dream house.  If anyone had told her a year earlier that she would be moving to Florida and marrying Justin Timberlake, she would have told them they were crazy.  She unlocked the front door and let herself in.  The house was still basically a frame, but little by little everything was coming together.  Justin wanted a Christmas wedding, and the house would most certainly be done by then.  He was so picky though; he wanted everything perfect.  Lara would never have figured him to be such a perfectionist.

She took the steps to the second floor two at a time, and made her way down the winding hall to the master bedroom. This suite took over the entire end of the second floor, with three bedrooms down the hall the other way.  A small bedroom was also neatly tucked into a corner of the ground floor.  Lara dropped her purse to the floor and dug out her measuring tape, a tablet, and a pen.  She wanted everything just right; Justin would definitely notice if something was off in his “perfect” house.  Lara giggled.  He was so cute.

She was on her hands and knees in the bathroom when she heard the front door slam.  “Lynn? Is that you?”  Lara got to her feet, brushing sawdust from her palms.  “I’m sorry this took so long…it just ends up that…”

Lara’s voice completely disappeared when she saw that it wasn’t Lynn standing in the bedroom she would be sharing with her husband.  “Hello, darling?  Miss me?”  David’s sugar sweet smile was cancelled out by the pure evil in his blue eyes.

 

Lara opened her mouth, shut it, then tried to talk again.  Nothing would come out.  The tape measure dropped from her hands, hitting the wooden floor with a loud thud.  “What’s wrong?  Cat got your tongue?”  David took one step towards her and she flattened back against the closet wall.  “What’s wrong, Lara?  Scared of something?”

“What…” Lara licked her lips and tried again.  “What are you doing here?  What do you want?  How did you find me?”

“That’s no way to greet a person you haven’t seen in years.  Come here and give me a hug.”  David opened his arms.  Lara gaped at him.

“You’re crazy,” she whispered.  He grabbed her arm and pulled her into an embrace.  She felt a horrid shiver go through her body as his large form pressed against her.  He finally released her and she flattened against the wall once more.

“To answer your questions…I came here to find you…I want to finish what was started the LAST time we saw each other, and it wasn’t very hard to find you.”  David began to pace back and forth.  “You made it pretty damn easy, whoring around with that babyfaced kid.  Your face is everywhere now…magazines…TV…all people can talk about is Katherine Morgan and Justin Timberlake.  It shocked the hell out of me when I saw you on the Today Show all those months ago.”  David smiled at her.  “You must’ve had one damn fine surgeon to make your face look so pretty.”  He took his keys out of his pocket and studied them.  “Guess I didn’t do a good enough job.”

“David, please leave.  I have a bodyguard and…”

“Ah, yes…Jeffrey.”  David smirked with amusement.  “I saw him in New York.  Big guy.  I also know that he isn’t in Florida with you right now.  You rarely go out alone, and when you do you usually come out here.”

“You’ve been following me?”  Lara whispered.

“For months, darling.  Months.”  David’s blue eyes narrowed.  “I know everything. I know that you were with Nick Carter for a while, and that Justin was getting off with Britney Spears.  I know that you and Justin have been inseparable for the last few months.  I know that he’s in Canada right now, and that he’s not supposed to be home until next week.”  David grabbed Lara’s hand and yanked her away from the wall.  “I also know that you won’t be here to greet him when he does get back.”

“David…stop…” Lara begged, pulling against his hold.  “You’re crazy…you need help.”

“Help?  I had years of help in prison, sweetheart!”  David snapped.  “Two hours of therapy every day of the week.  I found out that I have this problem with possessions.  Once something is mine, it can NEVER belong to anyone else.  That includes you.”

“I’m no possession!”  Lara didn’t know where the sudden courage came from but she pulled out of David’s grasp and started backing towards the door.  “You didn’t like the person I was anyway!  I decided that I could find someone who liked me the way I was, so I left!”

“Ah yes…and now you’ve found Justin.  What’s it feel like to rob the cradle, Lara?”  David gave her a menacing grin.  “Does he fuck good?  Does he know what you like?  Does he know you like it rough?”  He slowly advanced towards her.

“Justin is wonderful.  Justin takes care of me.  Justin has loved me no matter what since day one!” Lara shot back.  She darted towards the door but David grabbed her at the last minute.

“You took away EVERYTHING I had.  My money all went to legal fees.  My friends have long since forgotten about me.  I have no job, and now with a criminal record I may never have one.”

“That’s no one’s fault but yours,” Lara told him.  The back of his hand smacked her head back.

“No…it’s YOUR fault…and you will pay.”  David fisted his hand in her hair and began to drag her down the steps.  Lara stumbled behind him, practically falling down the last five steps.  “Let’s see…how about we christen the living room first.  This IS going to be the living room, right?”  David threw her to the ground, scattering sawdust everywhere.  Lara choked and tried to crawl away.  David stomped on her ankle, causing her to scream with pain.

“Let…me…go…” she rasped.  “They’ll find you…no one else would do this but you.”

“I’ll be long gone by then, and you’ll be long dead,” David said in a low dangerous voice.  Lara stopped moving.  All courage left her when she saw the pure hatred behind his sky blue eyes.  Those eyes roamed over her body and a smile slowly crept across his face.  “You look good.”  His small red tongue licked over his lips.  “Real good.”

“Not again…David…no…” Lara pleaded in a whisper.  David fell to his knees beside her, his large hand reaching up to caress her face.  She turned her head and bit the flesh between his thumb and forefinger.  He howled with pain, smacking her once more with the other hand. 

“You are so fucking dead, bitch!”  A large hand held her down by the throat as he used his other hand to undo the zipper on his jeans.  Lara gasped for breath, feeling her strength slowly leave as she struggled to breathe.  She kicked and wriggled but he was too strong.  Her fingernails dug at the wooden floor, and in any other situation she would have shuddered at the feeling of sawdust under her nails.  Her right hand connected with something skinny and cold and she closed her fingers around it. 

David never saw her arm raise, never saw the screwdriver go straight for his heart, imbedded in his body down to the handle.  He gurgled for breath, staring down at her in shock.  Blood flowed red between his teeth, dripping down to spot her face.  All two hundred plus pounds of him collapsed onto Lara, and she felt the air flow into her lungs as his hand loosened from her neck.  She gasped for breath, afraid to move.  David was motionless, and she waited almost five minutes before reaching up to check his throat.  Her shaking fingers found no pulse, and she carefully inched out from under his immobile form.  She finally freed herself, and scooted over to sit in a corner.  She rocked back and forth for almost twenty minutes, staring at the lifeless form on the floor in front of her.  In her haze of shock she heard a cellphone ringing.  Her cellphone.  She dug it from the pocket of her shorts. 

“Hello,” she barely whispered.

“Lara?  Hey!  I can hardly hear you.  Is the connection at the house that bad?”

“Justin?”  Lara said in surprise.  He couldn’t come out here.  Police would mean publicity and she didn’t want to hurt him like that.

“Guess where I am?  Halfway between Mom’s and the house.  The reason she wanted to get your ass out of there was so she could pick me up at the airport.  We got out early!  I wanted to surprise you.  Isn’t this great?”

“No,” Lara said firmly.

“No?”

“No.  Turn the car around and go back home.  Do NOT come to the house, understand me?”

“The hell I’m going home.  What’s going on?  Are you okay?”

“No…” Lara said as tears finally came.  “Don’t come here, Justin….don’t…David…” she began to sob hysterically.

“DAVID?  Holy fuck.  Don’t move, Lara.  Don’t move, sweetie.  I’m coming.” 

 

Justin hung up his cellphone and immediately dialed 911.  He told the dispatch person that he had no clue what was going on, but that the police would more than likely be necessary.  He flew down the road, almost hitting Lara’s car as he squealed to a stop.  He noticed the strange car parked a few yards down the driveway and jumped out of the car.  He ran to the door, which was busted from the hinges. 

The first thing he saw was a very bruised Lara sitting in a corner of the living room floor.  Dark red blood stained her face, divided into rivers by her tears.  “Shit…Lara….” Justin made a beeline for her.

“Stay back…don’t come in here.  The police will bitch if anything’s disturbed,” Lara told him in a lifeless voice.  “Go home, Justin.”

“Go home?  Police? What…” Justin turned the corner into the room and stopped short.  David lay face down on the floor, a puddle of blood framing his body like a red halo.  “Holy fuck…what happened?”

“I killed him,” Lara whispered.  “And if you’re here it won’t look good.  Go AWAY.”

“I am NOT going away.  I called the police and they’re on their way.”

“Go away, Justin,” Lara begged one last time, tears streaming down her face. 

Sirens tore through the air and they heard doors slam.  Three uniformed police officers ran through the door.  They stared at Justin, Lara and David.  “Anyone care to explain?”

“I killed him…stabbed him…with a screwdriver.”  Lara struggled to her feet and Justin began to reach for her.  “Don’t…touch…me…” she told him.  “I killed him.”

“You’ll need to come with me, sweetheart,” one of the officers said gently.  Lara nodded and took the hand he held out to her.  He began to lead her out the door.

Another officer turned to Justin.  “And who are you?”

“Her boyfriend…I just got here…” Justin couldn’t keep from staring at the figure on the floor.  “He’s her ex.  He raped and scarred her a few years ago, and has been stalking her ever since. It’s self-defense…I know it is.” 

“We’ll need to ask you more questions,” the officer told him.  “Take him down to the station,” he told the third officer.  Justin followed the police officer out the door, sighing as he watched the car with Lara in the back speed down their driveway.

 

Justin paced in the front lobby of the police station.  The police wouldn’t let him back to see Lara, and they wouldn’t tell him anything after he gave his statement.  It had been almost an hour of waiting when Lynn and Michael burst through the front door.

“Oh, thank God!”  Lynn hugged her son, kissing his curly head.  “When you said police station, I…”

“It’s not me, Mom.”  Justin’s blue eyes were somber.  “It’s Lara.  She’s the one in trouble.”

“Tell us everything,” Michael said, putting an arm around Lynn as they sat on a bench.

Justin began to pace again.  “I met her online.  We hooked up on a chat list and became good friends.  When I was hurt in Pennsylvania and Lara saved me, we had no clue that we already knew each other until a few days later.”

“Why was she living on her own up there in the middle of nowhere?”  Lynn wanted to know. 

“She was hiding,” Justin replied softly.  “She broke up with her ex and he attacked her.”

“The scars,” Michael whispered.  Justin nodded.

“He keyed her face, then raped her.  Twice.  She pressed charges but he walked on the rapes.  He DID get time for the assault, however, and blamed her for ruining her life.”

“Is he why she left on Christmas?”  Lynn asked gently.  Justin ran a hand through his curls.

“No, that was all me.  She caught the middle of a conversation and thought that I felt she was ugly and needed the plastic surgery.  She knows now that I have always loved her and thought she was beautiful no matter what."

“You two hooked up at Christmas, didn’t you?”  Lynn asked.  Justin’s mouth fell open.

“How…”

“It was really obvious, Baby,” she replied with a smile.  “Every time you two looked at each other, there was this spark.”

Justin blushed.  “I wanted to tell you, but Lara…”

Lynn sighed.  “Yes, I know.  She thought I’d be upset.  I hope she’s past all that now.”

“You still haven’t told us why we’re here,” Michael pointed out.

Justin sighed.  He hated to even think about it.  “David must’ve gotten out of jail a few months ago.  Somehow he found her out at the house.”

“Oh, God.”  Lynn’s hand flew up to her mouth.

“When I came in he was lying on the floor in a pool of blood.”  Justin closed his eyes at the memory.  “She said she stabbed him with a screwdriver.”

“Well, it was obviously self defense!”  Lynn exclaimed.  “They can’t…”

“I hope not,” Justin said.  “I don’t know, though.  I gave my statement when I got here, and they said they’d check the story with the Pennsylvania police.”

“Let’s go home, Justin,” Michael said, standing.  “We can’t do anything more here and…”

“No,” Justin said stubbornly.  “I’m not leaving without Lara.”

“Honey, you can’t…” Lynn was interrupted by the back doors of the lobby swinging open.  A man in a suit was walking beside Lara.

“Oh…baby…” Justin ran up to put an arm around her.  Lara stood beside him stiffly, not leaning into the embrace but not pulling away.

“You’re free to go, Miss,” the man said.  “We can reach you at this number if we have any more questions?”

“Yes,” Lara whispered.  “I also gave the other detective my cellphone number.”

“Very good.  Thank you for all your help.”  The detective smiled at her and returned to his desk.

“Oh, you sweet girl!”  Lynn hugged Lara tightly.  “They’re letting you go?”

“Yes,” Lara answered in a low voice.  “They said that it was most obviously self-defense, and there was no reason to keep me.  They talked to the police in Pennsylvania, and they told the detectives here all about what happened before, and about the threats I received.  Ends up David was bragging to a lot of people about how he was going to get me back.”

“Oh, thank God.”  Lynn squeezed her again.  “Ready to go home?”  Lara nodded but said nothing.  “We’ll meet you there.”

Justin held the door of his car open for Lara, and she slid onto the seat.  When he got behind the wheel, she was staring out into space.  He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.  “Are you okay?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I was just thinking that…”

“Justin, I DON’T want to talk about it,” Lara snapped in a whisper.

“Well, we DO need to talk about this.  I really think you should call Melissa and tell her everything…and I mean EVERYTHING.  This is gonna hit the media fast…you know it will.”

“And we wouldn’t want to ruin your career, now would we?”  Lara said miserably, tears springing to her eyes.  This was EXACTLY why she had wanted Justin to turn his car around and never get anywhere near the new house.  “Don’t worry…I’ll be packed and out of your life in an hour.”

Justin swerved the car to the side of the road and squealed to a stop. Lara yelled and placed a hand on the dashboard.  “Are you fucking crazy?”  Justin all but screamed.  Lara stared at him.  “You think I give a shit about MY career?  I was thinking about YOUR career, you dumbass.  I think you and Melissa should get on top of this story before anyone has time to make shit up.  I know what it’s like to have everyone guessing.  I made the mistake once of covering up the truth…when I was dating Britney.  It’s the wrong thing to do.  Call Melissa and get your story straight…then start talking.  Katie Couric, Mary Hart, Extra, you name it…get your ass out there and tell the truth.”  Justin ran a hand through his hair and glared at her.  He was thoroughly pissed off at her.  “I CANNOT believe you would think I was so selfish.”  He silently started the car again and pulled out into traffic.

When they reached Lynn and Michael’s house, Lynn was waiting by the door.  “I was going to make you something to eat, but I thought you might want to go up and soak or something first.”

“That sounds fine,” Lara said gratefully.  She glanced at Justin, who was leaning against the banister of the steps.  “Justin, I…”

“I’m going upstairs to call the guys.  They should know what’s going on.”  Justin stomped up the steps and slammed the door of his room.  Lara sighed and plodded up the steps to the bathroom.

 

Justin was shaken out of a sound sleep at around one o’clock in the morning.  He sat up, wondering what had awakened him so suddenly.  He heard the sound again and was out of his bed in an instant, tugging on a pair of boxer shorts.  His room was next to Lara’s.

He quietly knocked on the door and slowly let himself in.  She was thrashing about in a nightmare, crying with fear.  He sat by her side on the edge of the bed.  “Lara…Baby…wake up.”

“Don’t…touch…don’t…STOP!”  Lara screamed.  Justin glanced towards the door, hoping that his mother and stepfather would continue to sleep.

“Baby…baby, wake up.  Shhh….” Justin whispered, caressing her cheek.

“No…don’t…” Lara sobbed.

Justin leaned close to her ear, gently kissing her cheek.  He began to quietly sing a song that had been running through his head for the last month or so while he had been in Canada.  It was an emotional love song, but he kept his voice soothing and steady as he almost whispered the song in her ear.  Her sobs soon subsided, and her blue eyes fluttered open.  Justin stopped singing and smiled at her.  “Hey.”

“Don’t…don’t stop singing,” Lara pleaded in a whisper.  She moved over so Justin could lay down beside her on the bed.  He enveloped her in his arms and started the song over again.  “What song is that?” Lara asked when he had finished.

“Just something I’ve been playing around with,” Justin said, blushing slightly.

“You wrote it?  For me?”  Justin nodded and Lara’s eyes grew big. “I’ve written lots of things…but no one has ever written for me before.”

“Good.”  Justin kissed her forehead.  They lay in silence for a long moment.

“I killed someone today,” Lara whispered.  “I…killed…someone.”

“Lara, it was self-defense.  He would have…he was going to…” Justin stammered.

“He was going to rape me,” Lara stated.  “And then he was going to kill me.  He told me he was.  But that’s not what scared me.”  Lara looked up into Justin’s blue eyes.  “I had the feeling he would go after you next.  He told me once that if he couldn’t have me, no one else should want me either.  You wanted me, and you had me…and that just drove him crazy.  I didn’t want him to hurt you.”

“Oh…baby.”  Justin pulled her tight against his bare chest as she sobbed.  “You didn’t have to protect me.”

“Yes, I did.  I needed to.  I needed to make him go away.”  Lara drew a deep breath.  “Every night I’m going to see his face.  Every night he’ll haunt my dreams…coming after me…coming after you…”

“No, he won’t.”  Justin pulled back to look her in the eye.  “He may come for a while, but every night I’ll be right beside you to protect you…and then someday he will leave you with only peaceful happy dreams of our future together.”

 

December

 

“PLEASE let me try!”  Chris begged Lara, running over to her side.

“Please, Lara, let him try,” JC added.  “This is all we’ve heard about all day.”

“He needs all the help he can get,” Joey added.

“No way.”  Lara shoved Chris back towards his seat.  “This is for SINGLE GIRLS ONLY.  Unless you can proof otherwise, you are a man and need to sit your ass down!”

“Fine,” Chris grumbled, going back to his seat next to JC.  The twenty or so single women grouped together in a giggling group.

“Everyone ready?”  Lara asked, turning her back to them.

“WAIT!”  Justin ran over. “Something’s wrong.”  He grabbed Lara around the waist, almost tripping over the full skirt of her wedding gown.  He gave her a passionate kiss, bending her back.  “Okay…now you can go.”

Lara blushed a furious red as everyone cheered.  He was so twenty sometimes.  “Okay…one…two…three…” she tossed the small bouquet over her head and quickly whirled around as the girls squealed.

“YES!”  Kelley waved the bouquet over her head triumphantly.  The other girls groaned and went back to their seats.  “Okay…I SO owe you,” Kelley whispered to Lara as a chair was set up for her. 

“I didn’t TRY to get you,” Lara pointed out, grinning as she saw Nick Carter twirling the garter around on one long forefinger.  “Have fun.”

As they took the dance floor for their first dance as man and wife, Lara looked up into her husband’s eyes.  “Why wouldn’t you let me know what song you picked?”

“I wanted to surprise you,” he replied.  Lara waited for the DJ to start the CD, but no music came from the speakers.  She gasped as JC, Joey, Chris and Lance stood at a corner of the dance floor and began to sing lyrics she knew all too well. 

“Your song!”

“No…your song…” Justin murmured, bending his head down to kiss her.

The End

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