Rekindling the Flame^rs.

During the tenure of my teenage years of being alive, I have noticed the insistent need of the opposite sex. Guys like chicks. Plain and simple. Their smell (some of them), their beauty (few of them), their kindness (not many of them), all play a role in the desire of man. Men need the bare necessities: food, fun, and full-frontal nudity  (What? What else could I have said, fellatio?) Bottom line, guys like chicks, guys need chicks, for fuck sake it’s in the damn bible (If it’s in the Bible it’s got to be true right?). That said, one understands the reason for the quest of women. Now comes the fun part: the difficulty of the task.

            Women are about as easy to master as Chinese Algebra. They are moody, whacked-out, insanely fruity, and naïve. This, added to our jealousy, ignorance, and how over-bearing we are, it’s a wonder relationships ever work out for more than a few hours.

            However, somehow, it manages to last for at least a little while, and then all is good. Some relationships are good, others suck terribly, while a few seem like Ted Kennedy at an A.A. meeting; a little pointless. For now, I am going to take a look at a good one.

            I have recently gotten back in touch with one of my exes, Nichole, you know a little bit about her. Her and I have been really good friends since sixth grade, despite a few setbacks with us moving around more than the Al Quaeda. At one point in our relationship, we decided that we felt very strongly for one another, and gave a real boyfriend/girlfriend relationship a try. (See a pattern with my friends becoming my exes?)  The relationship was great. We got along really well, we were rarely pissed at each other, and we were going to be together forever.

            That is until high school started. Enter conflict. There I met a girl, I don’t think I mentioned her to you, but you might know her. What was her name again? Damnit, I know that I know this… Oh yeah, Paige!

            I saw her and all shit hit the fan. I was enthralled with her and forgot all about Nichole completely when I was with her. She was beautiful, and (at the time) nice, and she was perfect (stay with me on this). So, my stupid ass thinks “Hey, I might miss my chance with this girl, maybe I should break up with Nichole and go out with Paige instead!” Yeah. Great idea. So I did. And the whole Paige thing went down. I felt like shit and pushed a shit load of people out of my life and was stuck with no one but Lance (not entirely a bad thing, but I think I pissed him off with all my bitching, for shit sake it started this goddamned site).

            Enter now. I am alone, with no one to hold or talk to about my feelings for anything (I can’t really hold Lance, he might get a bit uncomfortable). That is until a few weeks ago.

            Like all pivotal moments in my life, it starts with a goddamn phone call. This time, it was from Nichole. We sat and talked and bullshitted about a bunch of stuff, but finally got down to brass tax and got on the subject of us. After about an hour of realize I completely dicked over a great relationship for what was more so a night on the town for both Paige and I, we came to the decision of hanging out with lance, and one of my friends, Chad.

            During the get-together, which ended up being a car-crash (dumb Mr. Magoo motherfucker) and a stop at Nichole’s house, nothing really big happened. There were no intimate moments. I mean, when we first saw each other (after not seeing each other for about 4 months) we hugged, but that was it. All is well, right? Just friends, right?

            Wrong.

            We both looked at each like we wanted to say or do something. We wanted to do anything but be friendly. Tension was all around us. Not bad tension, but the, “maybe I should kiss her, maybe not” tension. Chicks are confusing when they don’t tell you shit. So throughout he car ride home I was thinking, “When I get out of here, I am going to hug her, and give her a kiss on the cheek.”

            That being my plan, I waited, not too patiently, to arrive back home. When we did, I got out, gave her a hug and kissed her on the cheek. All is well, right? Wrong. She kissed me on the cheek. FUCK! YOU MEAN SHE LIKES ME?! I felt like a dumbass. So what did I do? I stood there, like a dumbass, hugging her. It seemed like a long time, but eventually we broke the human chain and went our separate ways.

            I got inside, popped in Star Wars, and kicked myself in the ass so much I fell asleep.

            With that buildup, now comes the rant (and to think, that wasn’t even the bulk of it).

            Is it safe to even try to pursue a past relationship? And more importantly, why do we feel we should, or even could for that matter? Past relationships are just that, past relationships. They fucked up the past; they will fuck up again, right? I sure as hell hope not.

            But still, it intrigues me to even contemplate a past relationship. Why do we think we (being males) have any chance in hell with it? I’ll tell you why, because we are fuckin’ stupid. We are weak, and we fucking stupid. We think, “Well, she already knows what I am like, and there may still be a little life left in our chances. Why not? Hey, Dad always said stick with what you know.” See? Weak and stupid. Stupid to give it a chance, weak to be so lazy as to not even try for a different girl.

            But you what? Who gives a fuck? I am weak, I am stupid; whoopty-shit. I am allowed to be, I am a guy. And me being a guy gives me full permission to be a dumbass, fat-fuck, weak-ass, bastard. And if being a dumbass, fat-fuck, weak-ass, bastard gives me some goddamn hope then goddamnit, I am gonna go after chicks, that I may have a chance to rekindle the flame with. It also gives me permission to sleep on Spider-man sheets and watch Monty Python at four in the morning. Why? Because I can Muthafucka!

            So ending with my signature “build a point hen shoot it down” demeanor, I am going to pursue my chances with Nichole, and have fun with the girl of whom I can honestly say I love. So for those who are also thinking about past loves and the chances you might take, go for it, what do you have to lose? Look at it this way, if it does work out for at least a little while, you’ll get back the shit the dumb bitch stole from ya before.