Come to my Christmas Show, here's an interview!
On Saturday, December 13, at 9:00 PM, Wall Street Nightclub will host the return of Columbus drag superslag Mary Ann Brandtís annual Christmas show. The event has been so hotly anticipated that reserved tickets sold out in a month, but fear not - general admission will get you in at the door,unlike Mary Ann, we had to grease her hips and push. We were filled with revulsion that Mary Ann could take time out of her busy schedule to sit down with us for a Q & A about the event.
Q: So have you been rehearsing your tushy off?
Rehearsing? Fuck no. Itís a question of getting everything worked out, and the time I take for that to happen. You wouldnít believe it - I have to start 2 days before the show.
Q: 2 days?
Oh yes, honey! I am listening to country music in December, can you believe it? Iím the only one I know doing that. But you have to. You have to start that far ahead, because, at this point, itís about a standard, a standard that people expect from me, which is a pretty fucking low standard (lol) As time goes by, you have to remain at that level, and itís harder to tap into that. These Yahoo's will pay to see anything, including a talentless cunt like myself.
Q: What are the rehearsals like?
A gut-wrenching nightmare. The people I am working with give me all my ideas. The girls I am working with are shit under my shoes, and thereís the added thrill of working with Flaggots
Oh yes, theyíre incredibly boring. Hot, young boys who I couldn't pay to have anything to do with my fat, tired ass
Q: Can you tell us anything about the show?
Well, there are some traditional numbers, I like to combine some of the old standards with what I do, which ain't shit, and give it a Christmas twist. Iím striving to create new characters, none original, of course, and there are some group numbers. We have a very good mix, especially with this supporting cast of shit-sucking sons-a-bitches
Q: Whatís it like working with the Wall St. people?
Those assholes? I treat them like shit, because of my over-inflated ego. They know I'm a worthless, talentless bitch, but who's the star here? ;)
Q: Is the Christmas show your favorite show of the year?
Definitely. Iíve really cut back my schedule to about two a year, because I just hate having to drag my worthless ass off the couch. It has to do with the constraints of time, but I also find that the less you perform, the more meaning the shows have. Always leave them wanting more. Iím doing about two shows a year now, so itís really about power punching my two well-worn holes, one-two, thatís my m.o. And itís the way to really polish the material, to really make it as creative and polished as possible, as polished as my bald head.
Q: You mentioned that you spend a lot of time rehearsing, but is there any room for spontaneity in the show?
Absolutely not. I once fired a flaggot when he lost his flag up my ass during a show, never have found that sucker.
Q: Do you get nervous?
When they start booing and it dawns on me that I couldn't have an original idea of my own for anything. But these creeps will even pay to watch a fat, has-been like me drag my enormous ass back and forth across a stage