As much as you want to say good bye to me, you'll never be able to do that. We have a part of each other that can't be returned. There's no escaping the future. 3 years from now, whether you like it or not, you're going to be with me. No matter how hard you look, you won't find that special someone to share what we had. You always say I don't love you. But it seems to be the other way around when I know what's going to happen later on in life. The words of that song we used to listen to came into my head and they finally made sense. This is my life, it's not what it was before...I'm trying hard to breath now but there's no air in my lungs...I wish that I could move, but I'm exhausted and nobody understands, how I feel. I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to endure this pain. Hopefully, for 3 more years...I love you. No matter what you say or do. Even if you don't love me in the future, I will always love you. I hope your happy in life. I wish you would have everything you've ever wanted. That job you wanted, the car...but, hopefully, one day, you'll have me. There will always be a part of me that's missing. Even though others may not see it as a relevant problem, it's the problem that causes the tears to roll down my eyes, and the blood to flow off of my wrists every waking day of my useless life. I found a reason to live and the reason is you. I know fate will play a part in your life. I just really pray that I'm part of it. I will always remember the times we've spent together. I will carry those memories through out my whole lonely life. If you could only understand. I'm gonna go now. I just needed to vent. It seems as if you've found "someone that understands" you now. I'll just step back and watch you live your life and wait. I love you Andy.