Friendless S*
S* has no friends. Except the popcorn girl and the colorguard.

L2* (a former close friend) called up S* asking for the free tickets we all have to go to the baseball games (L2* loses things easily, so we often hold things for her). S* was like... "well... um... i gave them to my sister and her boyfriend" L2* was like, "but that was my ticket - I need that back so I can go!" S* said "Well... I already gave them to my sister" L2* asked for S*'s sisters number so she could get her ticket back. S* was like "No, I already gave them to her. Besides it doesn't have your name on it"

Could you be a little more 3rd grade? YOU CAN'T SIT THERE... IT DOESN'T HAVE YOUR NAME ON IT!

The day before that, S2 (another best friend)came down to our room to walk to dance class with S*. S* didn't answer the door, so S2 waited until 3 minutes before class... and then ran to class. S* was sitting there in class. Her excuse was "I woke up late... and I didn't want to walk to class with you". Who says that? Besides, she OBVIOUSLY had enough time because S2 always comes down 15 minutes before class starts and it only takes 5 minutes to walk there. Liar liar.

S* is hanging out with the popcorn farmer and the colorguard tonight... the rest of us are going out together. This weekend we're going camping. We'll make some smores... and think of her. Because of her unhealthy addiction to chocolate.

Another Perfect Away Message
S*'s away message: gym ~ b/c i am a fat ass :-P
Oh god... it hurts... the laughter... my sides... my cheeks... its so true...

B says he doesn't "think its a serious comment tho, she thinks shes fat like i think im fat... truth is, she really is fat."

Sad, but he's right. He jokes about it... she jokes about it, but should be serious about it. Oh well... her uninentionally degrading away message made my day anyway!

Away message
Mood:  mischievious
Please... before I piss my pants... read her away message and laugh along with me:

"being productive today ~ spring cleaning & shopping & working out & studying ~ ohh ~ i love my life :-D"

Yeah... being a dirty ass with clothes, empty bags, books, newspapers, water bottle and paper all over her bed, under her bed, desk, chair, and her half of the floor does need serious spring cleaning. And there's the "EW" I traced with my finger on the back of her desk behind S*'s computer monitor... because she hasn't cleaned anything in the entire year. (Oh yea... she rotated her desk like 2 weeks ago so that she can have privacy I suppose... now it sticks out in the middle of the room and is funny)

And isn't it kind of hard to go shopping when your parents hate you, have money, but make you work-study and pay your own tuition? Let's not lie to ourselves. S* is thrilled about $2 shoes that are hideous. And she carries plastic beach bags as purses because she thinks they look good. I swear... when she told me (back when we were talking) that she was going to be a Fashion Major... I peed my pants a little. She's the worst dresser I have ever met. Besides Bunni... but that's another story.

And how is it fun to work out when you're fat? Doesn't it just remind you that you work out constantly... come home and chug diet coke with puppy chow, doritos and 5 tons of chocolate nightly? Isn't that counter productive???

And how is studying fun when you've gotten more D's in two semesters than Pam Anderson reads on her bra tags? Exactly.

That's a life to love? Wrong. Just wanted to share. And laugh.

I’m glad that my power strip can supply power for your fan, curling iron and blow dryer. While I’m watching TV. Which, I turned on while you were in the shower so that you couldn’t come back in and turn on some crappy TV show. I put it on HGTV and TLC, which I know you hate. Muah ha ha. Nice and quiet… and you come over to my closet… take the powerstrip, and proceed to plug in 3 appliances you’d be better without. 1 – it’s already a nice temp in here… now I had to put on a hoodie because you stupidly put the fan in the middle of the room. How about you put it on you? 2- blow drying you hair makes it frizzy. And 3 – when you curl it, it looks frizzy and bad because you don’t do it right.

Hey wasn’t it funny last night when you had to hang out with color guard-girl because no one else wanted to hang out with you? Yea… that was funny. And remember at like 1:30, when you came home… I was lying in bed, talking to B* and I had the earpiece volume nice and loud so that you could hear him tell me how much he misses me and adores me and can’t wait to hold me tonight? Yeah… that was funny too. You know what wasn’t funny? When you put on some crappy Cameron Diaz/Ditz movie and laid there, pretending to watch it. Except you kept falling asleep. And I asked you, “S* are you still watching the movie?” And you startled, woke up and mumbled “Hm… huh? What? Oh… yea.” And then 15 minutes later, you were snoring. And since you “lost” the tv remote… you were using my DVD player remote to change the channels… and I had to find that to turn the DVD player off and get up to turn the TV off. That’s 3 nights in a row you inconsiderate jerk. Set the TV timer. IT’S NOT THAT HARD.
And how about you getting dressed for church now? That’s really fricken funny. I don’t have a spiritual bone in my body… but I bet you $100, that I’d get into your heaven before you ever did. Stupid Catholics. “Oh, hey, God… I was wondering if like, I could just repent for drinking, having premarital sex, using contraception and not caring about anybody but myself? Oh? What’s that God? I can? FABULOUS! What? Just say 2 Hail Marys and 4 Hail S*’s? Oh I do that before bed! Sure! Thanks God, see you next weekend.”

Stupid Catholics.

You know what else was funny? When I accidentally (really, it was!) meant to turn it to TLC, but turned it to the Golf Channel instead. (common mistake…it’s one channel down). And you had to watch golf for 10 minutes while I typed all of this.)

A VERY long historical background on why this blog even started.
Welcome. I'm going out of my mind. Why? Well that's easy... my inconsiderate, immature, selfish roommate.
We roomed together last year... no problems. Great friends in fact. We roomed together this year... no problems... until 3 months ago.

Who: S*, (the roommate)
What: Likes to pretend she's a virginal Catholical angel... but drinks like a fish and fucks like a rabbit.
Where: Numerous guys' houses and our dorm room.
When: Forever. Until 3 months ago.
Why:

Well... the why is the tricky part. Okay, I'll try my best to catch you up to speed. S* likes to hook up. A lot. With drunken, random guys that cringe when they found out what they did. So in the about the 4th hookup of the 2005 year... (this is the end of Janurary... so it's been a whole month... she was practically celibate, only 4 guys in 4 weekends)... she went with our roommate for next year (L*) to L*'s boyfriend's house.

L*'s boyfriend has a roommate (B*), who S* wound up hooking up with that weekend. The next weekend, she stalked B* and took advantage of him when he was practically passed out. Fine. Fair enough, it's college.

Well, she tells us all that she doesn't like the guy... it's "just physical"... yada yada. She fucks him the 3rd time they hook up. (Which, is surprising that it wasn't on the first time... so that's how we knew she really liked B*.)

Now I come into the story. It's my birthday weekend... my girlfriends want to take me to a gay dance club (Don't look at me like that... we all love men... we just don't like being groped by hispanics at other clubs... at a gay club, nobody wants to touch us). So we get all dressed up, drive there... and the club was closed that night. Whoops. So we go back to L*'s boyfriend's place because they are having a small get-together. I meet B*.

B* is smitten with me from the moment he met me (really) and tries to ask me out on numerous dates that night. I say no. Over the next week, he gets my screenname and asks me again and again and again.

A week later, at my official birthday bash, I drunk dial L*'s boyfriend and B* to come over to the party. They come. I flirt with B*.

B* and I talk online later that week and agree to catch a lunch at Wendy's. I like B*. That Friday, we go out on our first date. Saturday, our second date. We really hit it off and enjoyed being around each other.

Thursday was when S* stopped talking to me. She was mad because we had a lunch date... and they had sex. She was mad because she had sex with him, but didn't even have his cell phone number. She was mad because he IM'd me constantly, and when she IM'd him, he didn't answer back... even though she knew he was sitting there talking to me. (She enjoys peeking at my screen).

And that's it. That's why. Because I'm not allowed to be happy... is why we haven't talked for 3 months. Of course there's the "Can you turn the TV down?" "Where's the remote" and that's about it for the lines of communication.

Which, fine, whatever be mad at me for "stealing your man"... I'm understand that in her mind... 3 nights of drunken passion are more important than over 3 months of a relationship.

So that's the background. And here's the current. S* has loser friends now. She at first, tried pitting all of our friends against me... but no one wanted to pick sides. Logical, considering the issue was between me and her... but that would not be enough drama for her.

So then she just started talking behind my back (immature, but whatever)... but the kicker was that she won't go anywhere if I am going to be there. Friends would call her to make dinner reservations... "Um... is *SHE* going?" "Yes." "Oh... well I'm not then." And my friends aren't 5. So they were just like fine, don't come. (Keep in mind, we sleep 6 feet away from each other... so she can't exactly avoid me)

So now, after 3 months of this crap... she has missed out on dinners, parties, birthdays... and more just because I'm there. Now she hangs out with a former-colorguard and a popcorn farmer's daughter... who are no joke, the 2 most uninteresting, dorkiest people I know. But they're "fabulous" and her "bestest friends ever!"

The best part about everything now is that she tries to piss me off in the room. And to tell you the truth, it's working. Every morning, she sets her alarm for an hour earlier than she has to get up. And that would be fine. If she didn't hit the snooze button every 5 minutes for an hour. But she's always done that, it just pissed me off more.

And how about this morning? At 9:00am on a SATURDAY, she wakes up (this is after an hour of snooze-button hits)... she gets on her computer and talks on AIM. I want to know who is online at 9am on a Saturday and if they have a life. Not a big deal... I can sleep through that.

So then she turns on the light in the room. Not a big deal... I pull the covers over my head.

So then she turns on the TV to some crappy Lifetime movie. And turns it up nice and loud. Now I'm starting to get pissed because I'm trying to sleep.

So then she gets on her cell phone and talks loud and obnoxiously for 45 minutes. I take it for about 10 minutes... get out of bed... get my toothbrush... slam the door and go to the bathroom. Now that's kind of bullshit. WHO TALKS ON THEIR CELL PHONE AT 9AM??? AND WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO??? YOUR FRIENDS SUCK. THEY ARE NOT VERY INTERESTING. I HAVE MET THEM.

At 10:30 I leave for a community service project, which luckily I don't get home until 4pm at. I have a midterm paper due on Monday... so I was going to start it after a short nap. Well, that nap was INCREDIBLY short because she came home, flipped on the tv... and started to be annoying.

I went to the bathroom... came back, and the worst movie ever (which is her favorite) Love and Basketball is in my VCR. Playing surround-sound loud because S* put on the fan... and then, of course couldn't hear the TV, so turned it up LOUD! I sit down at my computer to read over some stuff for my paper... I can't get through one sentence.

I ask her to turn it down, but she says "I don't have the remote" Well, if some IDIOT hadn't have left yet another crappy Lifetime movie on until 4am in the morning when I had to wake my ass up, go to her desk, get the remote and turn it off... MAYBE I WOULDN'T HAVE HID IT FROM YOU IN MY COVERS!!! MUAH HA HA HA.
Except today, I vaccuumed and cleaned at least my half of the room, and threw the remote under her desk, so it's like she dropped it. Idiot. I turned her stupid basketball movie down, but still couldn't work so I did laundry. For like 4 hours. I was in and out and tried to be annoying as possible.

She wound up leaving at about 8:30 to go out. In mesh shorts and a t-shirt. If it wasn't for cheap Natty Light and college guys who drink A LOT of it... she'd never get ass. But she wants a boyfriend anyway... Advice: don't wear mesh shorts and a t-shirt out to pick up guys at a party.

It's been like 6 hours since I woke up for my nap and tried to do my paper. And all I have is my name on it. ::Sighs::

Hopefully S* comes home late, and drunk. That way I can wake up at 9am tomorrow... put in ANNIE or some other movie she hates... and then call B* and rub it in her face that he likes me and never liked her.

And I'll sit around in a sports bra and shorts just to remind her that I'm a billion times prettier than her.

And then I'll complain about how I have to write this paper... so that I can get in A in the class and maintain my 3.73 GPA (she's dumb).

And then I'll complain about how I didn't get to go shopping this weekend because I spent Friday with her former friends, Saturday doing community service and Sunday writing a paper.

I think maybe that's what it really is all about. B* was supposed to be something she could be proud of. Except, he picked me over her. Look, I'm not elitist (all the time)... I'm a realist.

She needs to stop acting like the high school friends she hangs out with... and try to be a little mature. Because let me tell you, we already signed a lease to live with 3 others next year. And right now, she's not friends with any of us. It'll be hell on Earth for her.

Oh, yes, one last thing... I started this blog so that I can rant and rave about her, saying everything I want to say to her face (but since we don't talk, I don't. She doesn't even answer back when I say "hello") And plus, I can just send my friends here for the update and not have to repeat it 80 billion times.