Church Funnies


"CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS"

Donít let worry kill you - let the church help.

Thursday night - Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

For those of you who have children and donít know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

Wednesday the Ladiesí Liturgy Group will meet. Mrs Johnson will sing, "Put Me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the Pastor.

Thursday at 5:00 PM, there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.



"CHILDREN WRITE LETTERS TO GOD"


Dear GOD, I read the Bible. What does íbegatí mean? Nobody will tell me. Love, Alison.

Dear GOD, Are you really invisible or is that just a trick? -Lucy

Dear GOD, Is it true my father wonít get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house? -Anita

Dear GOD, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? Norma

Dear GOD, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why donít You just keep the ones You have now? -Jane

Dear GOD, Who draws the lines around the countries? -Nan

Dear GOD, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? -Neil

Dear GOD, What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything. -Jane

Dear GOD, Did you really mean "do unto others as they do unto you?" Because if you did, then Iím going to fix my brother. -Darla

Dear GOD, Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. -Joyce

Dear GOD, It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about You that people are not supposed to say, but I hope You will not hurt him anyway. Your friend (But I am not going to tell you who I am)

Dear GOD, Why is Sunday school on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest. -Tom L.

Dear GOD, Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before, You can look it up. -Bruce

Dear GOD, If we come back as something - please donít let me be Jennifer Horton because I hate her. -Denise

Dear GOD, If You give me a genie lamp like Aladin, I will give you anything you want, except my money or my chess set. -Raphael

Dear GOD, My brother is a rat. You should give him a tail. Ha ha. -Danny

Dear GOD, Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. -Larry

Dear GOD, I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big, but not with so much hair all over. -Sam

Dear GOD, You donít have to worry about me. I always look both ways. -Dean

Dear GOD, I think the stapler is one of your greatest inventions. -Ruth M.

Dear GOD, I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. -Nan

Dear GOD, My brother told me about being born but it doesnít sound right. Theyíre just kidding, arenít they? -Marsha

Dear GOD, If You watch me in church Sunday, Iíll show You my new shoes. -Mickey D.

Dear GOD, I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible. Love, Chris

Dear GOD, We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said You did it. So I bet he stoled your idea. Sincerely, Donna

Dear GOD: The bad people laughed at Noah - "You made an ark on dry land you fool." But he was smart, he stuck with You. Thatís what I would do. -Eddie

Dear GOD, I do not think anybody could be a better GOD. Well, I just want You to know, but I am not just saying that because You are GOD already. -Charles

Dear GOD, I didnít think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was cool! -Eugene


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