*Funny Quotes, Instances, Etc...*

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~Mrs.Lee: How are you and Anna related? Liz: We're cousins. Mrs.Lee: How? Liz: We were baptized in water and became cousins. * ~My Mom: Oh man, they didn't put mayonnaise on my burger! Kristen: What?! My Mom: They didn't put mayonnaise on my burger. Kristen: Oh, I thought you said they didn't put band-aids on your burger. * ~Kristen: They should invent shampoo that has balloons that come out of it and pop over your head and the shampoo goes on your head. Me: Um...ok. * ~Me: I wonder if butts can crack. Liz: I don't know. (I sit on Liz's butt) Liz's Butt: CRACK!!! * ~Liz: Will you crack my back? Me: Ok. (I get on Liz's back) Me: 'Touch' (10 Seconds Later) Liz's Back: CRACK!! * ~Me: Remember that one time when I walked over to your house and your brother was there with the peanut butter smeared all over his weiner and he's all "Come here boy, come here. Who likes the skippy? Who likes the skippy peanut butter?" Jacob: Um, no. Me: Lol, ok. Jacob: Seeing as how my brother is only 9 years old. Me: Well it must have been a dream. Or a fantasy. Jacob: Eww...you fantasize about my brother? Me: You said it. Jacob: Lol. * ~Ethan: A broken toe A misplaced heart The warm glow of a baked bean fart. All these things are joy inwardly abound Raptured within Pain without All these words are yours to flout. * ~Me: When I grow up I wanna be a professional groupie. Liz: That's just sad. (A few days later) My Dad: You should be a groupie when you grow up. * ~Roxie: I don't have a job. Vaughnetta: Why don't you work as a lifeguard? Roxie: I don't know how to swim! (Nate, Roxie's crush and a semi-pro swimmer, tries to hold back his laughter and hides his face. 5 seconds later...) Nate: HAHAHAHAHA Roxie: Are you laughing at me?! Nate: I'm sorry, but it's just so funny that u don't know how to swim! (Roxie storms off) * ~Christina: Do you shave your legs? Nate: Yes. Christina: Why? Nate: It helps me gain speed when I swim. Christina: Oh ok. (About 10 seconds later) Christina: Do you wear a speedo? Nate: Haha, why? Christina: They wanna know. (Points to me, Kristen, Lindsey, and Erica) All of us: No we don't! Nate: Well yes. I do wear a speedo. It also helps me gain speed. Christina: Ok thanks. (Roxie walks towards Nate) Nate: Your friends are weird. Roxie: Yes, I know. * ~Liz: What's up? Me: Poop and dicks Liz: Poop? Me: Yeah, poop up in the butt. Like constipated. Liz: Oh I see. Lol * ~(I am LTJ, Liz is Lizzy) LTJgirl2487: yeah, the guy should be raping the girl Lizzy182420: lol, at least have the decence to do that LTJgirl2487: i know LTJgirl2487: decency Lizzy182420: lol shut up Lizzy182420: i dont realy give a f**k LTJgirl2487: really Lizzy182420: relaly Lizzy182420: lol Lizzy182420: really* LTJgirl2487: lol ahhh Lizzy182420: ;-) LTJgirl2487: spelling errors!! Lizzy182420: lol, i know man LTJgirl2487: it drives me crazy to see that Lizzy182420: lol Lizzy182420: uh huh ok LTJgirl2487: i do, it's my mission to correct all the spelling errors on earth LTJgirl2487: dadadadada, super anna!! Lizzy182420: good luck Lizzy182420: dadadadadada Lizzy182420: lol Lizzy182420: you're such a loser LTJgirl2487: luck...no. i don't need luck LTJgirl2487: i can do it Lizzy182420: have fun LTJgirl2487: i will * ~(My dad walks into the YMCA day camp to pick me up. This was when I was like 6 or 7. A little boy approaches my dad) Little Boy: Hey, I know you. You somebody's daddy. (My dad smiles and nods and walks on) * Derek: Que es el nombre de telephono? * ~Butt wars with Liz ~Singing Spice Girls with Liz ~My funny mall faces ~Liz breaking her zipper at the mall ~Haunted Forest w/ Liz ~Liz putting Gwen in a shoe box. :( ~Stinky Gwen farts ~Me flashing the camera at Hot Topic ~Me flashing Gwen ~Me and Liz's "Barbie Girl", "I Can't Help Falling In Love With You", and "Gin & Juice" dances ~Me and Liz's "sexy" photos ~The "Hot Topic Magic" guy ~All the concerts ~Smushing into the Concert Mobile ~Thomas calling Jordan Pundik "Smush Face" :( ~Me spreading the Avril hate ~Getting lost on the way back from the Tsunami Bomb concert ~Ethan giving me his side burn clippings and me thinking they were pubic hairs. ~The Stephen F. walk ~Watching MAD TV with Liz every Saturday night ~Me smoking for the first time and last and having my lips swell up like a duck ~"Rat Boy" (Would u like some cheese?) ~My self moshing moves ~The 2 old ladies moshing at the Hostile Omish concert ~Eric getting blasted in the face with a snow ball and breaking his nose ~The "Roxie picking her crotch" picture ~Joe reading in his gay voice ~Certain girls bleeding on themselves ~Erica peeing her pants in 2nd grade ~Roxie trying to drown Megan ~Megan almost throwing up on me in D.C. ~Roxie not knowing what sex was until 10th grade ~When Kristen shaved her eyebrow off ~Pranking Roxie from Rachel's house ~Me, Rachel, Kristen, Becca, and Rachel's mom TPing TJ's grandma's house ~Rachel putting mustard on me and Kristen while we were asleep ~When Roxie shaved her whole body ~My 8th grade eyebrows ~The bird pooping on my arm b4 I moved into my new house ~Jessy always peeing in our backyard ~Poor Matt getting a swirlie and coming back to class all wet ~Matt's Christmas party ~Me, Jessy, and Mikey's childhood Freddy Krueger searches ~Me, Jessy, and Mikey collecting bugs ~Gwen cumming on Margie ~Playing gum wrapper hockey at Lunch ~Ethan touching my butt ~Chan touching my boob ~Getting stabbed while trying to skateboard ~Meeting Craig from Gob ~Cannibal chicken ~Roxie tripping over a spork ~My Tomagotchi falling in the toilet ~The window tappers at Becca's 6th grade party ~Putting toothpaste on Liz's glasses at Becca's party and having Liz think she went blind ~Angelitza singing punk songs ~Rachel bringing in Arabic food for "Foreign Food Day" and no one eating it ~Marques theories about why Rachel was absent (She went to McDonalds and wouldn't leave) ~Mike putting a big ball of paper on Roxie's head ~When Liz threw crayons at me in 3rd grade cause I was talking to Jerrad ~When Ion and Timmy mooned me ~Me and Jacob thinking of words that have to do with each other for 3 hours straight ~So hot!! ~My after school wrestling matches with Ion ~When I took my shoe off in 2nd grade and couldn't get it back on ~When Ethan went to ask me to be his Valentine and he ran into a desk (Aww...I miss him) ~Joey totally sucking at playing the bass at our choir's Christmas concert ~My used to be TRL obsession ~My used to be Limp Bizkit obsession ~Rewinding the shower part in "Life as a House" over and over again ~The Mexican guys at the bowling alley ~Liz's countless stalkers ~I'm not crazy cause I take the right pills everyday ~My dad being a better skateboarder than me ~Drew being Roxie's prince charming ~My gum falling out of my mouth during Choir rehearsal ~My gum falling out of my mouth while talking to Denise ~Thomas's theories about the end of the world ~Jerrad being overly happy in 5th grade ~Roxie wanting to protest everything ~Victoria getting the lunch lady fired ~Jerrad serenading me in 6th grade ~Dustin's parody of Iron Man ~Lice ~Me and Marques finding out that we had the same childhood best friend ~Gami's Sisqo dance moves ~Becca's brother Mike coming into our classroom and giving us some "advice" ~When the kids that got kicked outta N.C.C.A got their final revenge with the Warrior ~T.J.'s mullet ~Finding a surprise in my pretzel ~Liz spilling Nacho cheese all over the floor in Sam Goody ~My horrible 3rd grade slumber party (Someone turned off the heater, someone spilled red juice on the floor, 2 girls cried, 1 hadda migraine, yeah, u get the point) ~Me and Amie freak dancing with chairs and vacuum cleaners named Steve ~Basically everyone humping the big ball ~Liz's elephantiasis (She doesn't really have it so don't disown her) ~Adventures in hair dyeing ~Crotch in the face ~Getting a charlie horse while trying to get in the van during a field trip in 8th grade and then falling in a puddle and getting a muddy butt ~Having my foot fall asleep during another 8th grade field trip and then trying to walk and running into and almost knocking over an old lady ~On the same field trip as before my foot fell asleep again and I had to stand up to give a presentation and I ran into Miguel and Ryan and then my leg gave out ~When I was at the Madhouse with Amie and I threw my hip out ~Me having to hump the pool table in order to make a certain shot (I got it in too) ~The hicks singing Godsmack and *N SYNC at the Karaoke Bar ~Liz falling down the stairs at Club20 ~Liz staring in awe at Davey at the AFI concert ~Me and Trisha making funny chicken strip shapes ~Me and Trisha totally cracking up at the fact that I found a nacho chip in my fries (Why we found that so funny, we have no idea) ~Watching the teachers dance at Star Search ~Me and Sara screaming for Mr. Collier ~The Jamican Lunchman ~Me and Roxie trying to figure out if our bio teacher was gay or straight