My Dad's Memorial Page
Scott Weiland's 12 Bar Blues Page
Layne's Memorial Page
Song Lyrics Page
Loretta's STP Page
Crow/Brandon Lee Page
Loretta's Pics From '99 to '02
Loretta's Naked Pics 2003
Void's FlickR Photos
Void's Open Diary Poetry Site
12/8/03
Well damn...again it takes me months to get back to working on this thing. My apologies. However, I'm definitely making the time now to work on this to make it look a little better. I know this whole thing is unorganized and cluttered but keep checking back often cuz I'm going to fix it. I'm going to be getting rid of a lot of this shit...but I'm keeping my STP page and my Layne Staley memorial page. I'm also keeping the 12 Bar Blues section and I'm adding another link for my newest pics just taken yesterday. Uhm.....I prolly shouldn't add em cuz ya know...might scare some of you off. LOL Hmmm..well at least all of you know I'm a chick now since I talk so ghetto no one can tell. hehe Notice I'm forming complete sentences here? LOL Ahh fuck it. Anyway...I'm going to prolly be adding a Velvet Revolver page...not that I'm real enthused about it. An look I spelled that wrong. No more diary...it's goin bye bye's. No one needs to know what's going on in my life- hint...nothin otherwise I'd be keeping the damn thing. lol I'd still like to keep my Brandon Lee/Crow page...but who knows. I need to work on it quite a bit. Another page I'll be adding is prolly my poetry. An yes I actually spell everything correctly and form proper sentences. Hmm...okay. That's about it. Yeah update on my life.......uhm wish I had something to update about. New puter...so I'm happy. This will make my year...literally. Hmm started piercing stuff...which I'm likin it. -is getting another piercing but we won't discuss where- LMAO No dudes...uh damn fuckin shame too. That's only cuz other than the ugly thing...ya'all dudes cant handle me. -is too much of a phreak- hehe Is why my last boyfriend broke up with me. I think. LOL Other than the fact he's gay...but ya know...it happens. LMAO
K...well I'm out.
6/9/03
Well holy shit. It's been a hell of a long time since I've updated. I have so many changes to make...so soon check back and see what's new. I should be able to re-invent this website since I do have lots of time on my hands now. I'm single...AGAIN. Isn't it GREAT? lol Really...this is the life. It's the best thing that could have happened for me. Refer down to the last update. "Handy boyfriend"? What WAS I thinking? That's the dumbest thing that I've ever said. LMAO Yeah, handy but for what? lol Sure as hell wasn't...NEVERMIND. hehe Anyway, I need to thank so many of my friends for being there to help me see that I can survive without someone. You all know who you are. I need to thank all the dude's for, at best trying to make him a wee bit jealous. LMAO You guys rock! At least I know you all care. :) Other than that, I'm going to have to put more time into redoing this page and really updating. I'd like to add another journal. Unfortunately, if I don't write in it for a month, they cancel it and delete your diary. Now that sucks. If anyone knows where I can find one that doesn't do that, let me know. I've been tossing some more poetry around. So, I'll probably start adding more of that as well. I really need to work on my STP page and start moving all of this stuff I have on this page into that one. I'll be adding a "Velvet Revolver" page shortly, as soon as more of their stuff is up and on the net. It's sad, very sad...don't look for anymore updates on the STP page other than what I'm shoving in there. Just go to the new page. Hmmm, alright, that's it and I'm out for now.
11/24/02
Ouch did time fly. Sorry everyone for not coming online as often as I used to. Things have been quite hectic here and I never have the time I used to. We've been doing an aweful lot of remodeling here at the house and I guarantee if anyone saw what this place looked like before, you WOULD NOT recognize it now. The outside is the same, the inside looks a whole lot better than it ever did, especially the bathroom and kitchen. I'm so lucky to have such a handy boyfriend. hehe So, basically that's about all that's going on with me.
Okay...who said they'd save ROCK & ROLL?!?!?! Alright, it was Scott Weiland, but recently there's been an outpourage of great grunge music released. Perhaps STP is not grunge, but with the recent Nirvana release, this could open up an already closed door for great bands to come out of the shadows and step into the limelight once again. I can't even begin to express my feelings for this new album, but I can say this, I've never been so happy and moved for an album released before. Except maybe with Shangri LA, the STP album that never got a chance because of Atlantic records. Back to the topic at hand, I won't deny my hatred for Courtney Love, however, I think her holding off on putting the Nirvana's Greatest Hits out there was the best thing she could have done for us. The music of my generation was starting to fizzle out, no more Alice in Chains, no more Soundgarden, no more Nirvana, and no more half way decent Pearl Jam albums. This was a huge blessing to have another Nirvana cd out. Just at a time when rock and roll needed saving...and what do you know? Kurt's voice would be the one to do it. I'm not saying that grunge is back, but GOD I hope so. This may be the one band to bring it all back. If that's the case, this will help to open doors for all the bands once loved now forgotten. STP has a new album coming out in the summer of 2003. They're going to start working on it in January and perhaps it will be done by the summer, nothing is for sure about when, but that's my guess. Scott has another solo album coming out. YAY!!!!!!!!! I can't wait for both of those. I'm very happy. Scott may do some touring to promote this new stuff. God I hope so. Some of the songs from 12BB were ingenious and that would be the only way to hear him perform them. He won't do any of his solo stuff with the band...it sucks. I just hope they'll both be a huge success. I'm really pulling for the new STP album though. Anyway, that's pretty much all I wanted to say. Oh and by the way, you've never lived until you live the STP experience. Trust me, it's been over a month since I've seen them and I'm STILL on a high. :)
10/17/02 STP in COLUMBUS
Oh My Fuckin GOD!!! Last night WAS the best day of my life. I'm still pumped, excited, and keyed up. Christ I don't even know where to begin. I was going on 1 hour of sleep Wednesday night, went to bed at 5:30 and got up around 7am. Ok an hour and a half. But just cuz I didn't sleep much didn't make me have a bad time. I had the best most awesome fucking time EVER. Yesterday we got in line at 4pm, there was probably about 30 ahead of us. When the doors opened at 6:30...the line was one half to about 3/4 the length size of Toronto. There's no way there were 3,000 people there. There had to be 4 or 5,000. This place was a small venue. More private and intimate to get close to the band. We got inside and the place was somewhat empty at the time so we got to choose where we wanted to stand because this was a standing venue only. The guy behind the bar said it would be better for me to stand up in the balcony because I'm so short and if I get up there before anyone I could be right out in front to see the band better. I would have loved to be on the lower level closer to the band...but the guy said he was afraid I'd get hurt up in front. Anyway, we got inside at 6:30 and by the time they were done checking everyone in line at the door and patting us all down...it was 9pm. That's what time Stone Temple Pilots came on. I was already drinking so I was very very happy. When they came on I screamed my little heart out. I was right in front so I got to see Weiland really well. Scott looked great and so did Eric, Robert, and Dean. Scott was screaming into to mic saying come on you motherfuckers in Columbus OHIO!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG that got the crowd pumped and he started the set with Crackerman. Anyway here's the set list of last night's show.
1. Crackerman
2. Vasoline
3. Wicked Garden
4. Hollywood Bitch
5. Big Empty
6. Dead and Bloated
Then he sat down and did a little acoustic set.
7. Dancing Days
8. Creep
Then back to ass kicking GREAT fucking rock and roll.
9. Sin
10. Big Bang Baby
11. Loungefly
12. Trippin On A Hole...
13. Interstate Love Song
14. Plush
15. Down
16. Kitchenware and Candybars
17. Sex Type Thing
Of course Scott was screaming in between songs to keep the crowd pumped. He was all over the place. He was on the stage then off and down in front with the crowd. Then he was back on there, then off to the side to like be amongst that part of the crowd. Then he was up on the speaker, then Scott was crowd surfing. Oh and then he ran up and down this one ramp. Oh it was a blast. He IS the most active rocker...and it looks so awesome dancing. My god. I was like up in the balcony...SCOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!! In between songs Scott was yelling do you like SEX!! I want to see some people out there gettin it on. LOL hehe I was like alright, come here. hehe I unfortunately drank a lot...so I had to go to the bathroom so bad that I left to go during Sin and got back to where Dave was saving my spot in the middle of Big Bang Baby. Damn, and I love that song. I love all the songs and we were like scream singing to every single one. And then a lot of us were like chanting STP STP STP...but then I was like nevermind, no one in this section is chanting so I didn't so people wouldn't look at me.
We stood for about 7 hours cuz there was no where to sit, we were pushed and crowded and this one stupid bitch that's like 5'9 kept dancing in front of us blocking my view, but I wouldn't trade it for anything and if I could, I'd do it all over again. I met some really awesome people and some from the STP BBS. We exchanged email addys and numbers so we could all keep in touch and meet up to chill and to meet up at the next concert.
Anyway, the show was over about 11ish and they ended with Sex Type Thing. GRRRR! They got us all keyed up with that song and sent us home. LOL No encores...which sucked. As I was leaving I went to the souvenier stand to buy STP merchandise and I got 2 shirts, 2 posters, and a keychain. I don't care how much I spent...I just wanted to have a good time- AND I DID! 70 bucks for that stuff. almost 100 bucks for tickets. That's okay...it's worth it. And we're going to do it all over again next year. Some of the kids were standing out front by the buses waiting for the boys to come out. Damn, I heard this morning that the DeLeo's and I think Eric came out too. I wish I would have stayed to get pics, by the way...I couldn't sneak my camera in. But Dave had to work at 7am and it was 11. We didn't pull in Toronto until 3. Hmmm. Oh yeah, one more thing. I wore the Stone Temple Pilots shirt I made and I was right, no one had anything like it. A lot of people were complimenting it. I got pics of it, so I'm going to put it on here eventually. Oh my...there's so much more to post about...but I don't have much time to do it. I'll finish it later.
STP ROCKS!!!! If I could have Weiland and the boys look at this website which I might send the link to them on the website,I'd just want to say this. Thank you guys for giving me the best time of my life!!!!:)
10/16/02
I'm so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hehehe I can't wait til tomorrow. I hope everyone has a wonderful time back here, I'll be having an awesome time in Columbus standing as close to Weiland as possible. hehe He's a single man once again ya know. :))) I'm not starting rumors or anything, that would be wrong, but he IS getting divorced and it's a fact, not a rumor. But can I help the man is a god, he's gorgeous. :) I wonder what he's going to be doing for this show...he'll either be completely naked or he might be cross dressing. Can I help the man looks good in WHATEVER he wears. He makes women's clothing look hot. LOL Anyway, I made my own STP shirt for the concert, one no one else would be wearing and I think it's adorable. As soon as I get pics developed, I'll put it on here. I won't be in them, I got chunky so there's no way I'd be letting people see how terrible I look. GRRR!
We're pulling out of here at 10AM and the show isn't until 6:30. So that means I'm going to be up there hours ahead standing in line. That's okay though, I want as close to the stage as possible...but the closer to the stage you get that's where the mosh pit will be. Oh well, I doubt I'll get hurt in it. LOL We're taking David's car/truck...which you can't put the seat back because well duh it's a truck. This is going to suck for the drive back when I'm tired as hell and completely trashed. I'm pretty sure I'll want to sleep. The ol man gave me like a hundred and some bucks to blow up there on T Shirts and souveniers and I got about 50 or more to get drunk on. LOL We could have got really drunk and crashed at my brothers' house...unfortunately he's in Daytona. Blah. Hmm...what else. Sorry I'm going on and off subjects, I'm just really excited. YAY!!! Oh yeah, I figured out what STP tattoo I'm going to be getting for Xmas/my birthday. It's awesome looking. Thank you Dale for helping me figure out what I want and what would look nice. Seriously if anyone wants a tattoo or piercing, go straight to the master of body art, my ex...he's like the expert. I wish he would have got all his schooling in to do that, I'd trust him more to do a tattoo or piercing on me than anyone else.
I think that pretty much sums up everything. Oh, I don't have the flu anymore. Thank god. However, Fozzy, my cat, has sliced my finger, almost in two. A little pain, but I'm not mad or complaining. It's just really uncomfortable to hold something in my right hand. Luckily he's getting declawed and neutered the 5th of next month. Then no more of this or tearing up my couch or clawing my stereo speakers. So now that's about it. I'm thinking about putting the best pic of Weiland underneath this paragraph. Hope everyone enjoys it. hehe Now, I shall listen to the rest of Tiny Music, and burn a cd of all my mom's fav STP songs. YES!!! I finally converted her. I just wish I could make her stop listening to those damn Dixie Chicks. LOL
Now here's some lyrics from Tiny Music...
Big Bang Baby-awesome song. :) ~So turn it up and burn it There's a hole in your head a hole in your head Where the birds can't sing along; Does anyobody know how the story really goes The story really goes Or do we all just hum along?~
Ohhhhh Here's some words from Down-STP on the No. 4 album...~Pleased to meet you Nice to know me What's the message? Will you show me? I've been waiting a long time now So here's the answer You're all mine now! Yeah I've been waiting for my Sunday girl Yeah I've been waiting for my Sundy girl now Will you follow me down now Down now Will you follow me down now Down now Will you follow me Down??~
Told you I'd put one of the best Scott pics up. :)
10/09/02
Ahhhhh 8 more days and counting!!!!!! I can't believe how time flew. I'm so excited and very nervous, don't know why I'd be nervous, but I am. I have a feeling, I'm not going to say what it is, but if IT happens, I'll definitely type all about it afterwards. I'm getting all my stuff together...and by the way, can anyone tell me how to sneak a camera into a venue that says specifically "Do Not Bring Cameras"? The only place I can think to put it is just too outrageous and disgusting. If anyone has any suggestions, other than that one, please feel free to share. Anyway, whooo hooooooooooooooo, happy happy happy happy happy!!! Oh yeah, I have the flu...it won't go away. God I hope it's gone by then, but if it's not who cares. I'm going anyway. I just want that day flu free...after then I don't care how sick I get. I got my voice back finally but I figure the 18th I'll have lost it again from all the screaming and singing. No biggie. Hmm...anyway I'm adding a few STP pictures below the pic of my ticket. It's just to show how much my babies have grown and matured over the past 10 years. :)
10/06/02
So...11 more days until my biggest wish is fulfilled. OMG, I'm so excited. I hadn't had the chance to see Stone Temple Pilots for as long as I've wanted to see them, an entire freakin decade. I've never been so happy in my life, I get to see one of the most talented, brilliant bands of the century. I'm hoping to be one of the first 25 people in line, the sooner I get there, the closest to the stage I'll be. Count me in on being there at noon. I wanna be as close to Scott as possible. ~VBS~ He's probably one of my biggest idols and one day I shall meet him. Maybe it will be the 17th. I'll do every damn thing I can to get near him. Anyway, my motto has always been, "You live, You die, and somewhere in between if you're lucky, you get to see STP." hehe Oh, I scanned a pic of my ticket so there it is below. I'm on cloud freakin 9 MAN!
Here are pictures of Scott, Robert, Dean, and Eric during the Core and Purple Era. By the way, Core just turned 10 years old last month. Way to go guys!
Here's a pic from the Tiny Music From the Vatican Gift Shop era, or as it's so commonly referred to: Tiny Music...This happens to be one of the most prominant and outstanding of all STP albums.
The NO. 4 Era, Scott put a lot of hard work into creating this album. It's got it hard moments, but mellows out with songs like Atlanta and I Got You. This is probably one of my fav albums ever.
Ahhh, finally the Shangri La Dee Da Era...ok this IS my fav Stone Temple Pilots album. Not very popular to many, but blame that on Atlantic Records promotional tactics. YOU SUCK ATLANTIC! These guys took Shangri La into a more personal level and made it into a beautiful masterpiece. Scott poured his heart and soul into this. One thing you gotta say about these guys...they went into another direction, but unlike everyone else, they went into the direction of being themselves where as, even Aerosmith is going pop, they changed into something that isn't popular. But do they care, NO! They're being themselves and that's all that matters. One thing I've always heard and is so true...things age better over time and look at them. Musically yes, and my god...look at Scott and the boys. They keep getting even more gorgeous. :)
Info about the Creed/Jerry Cantrell show at the Post Gazette Pavilion. Here's a way to describe it; was FUCKING horrible. Not because Jerry was, but because no one gave him a chance. Everyone around us talked through the whole show, well until Creed came on. And it seemed like these kids didn't know any of the AIC songs Jerry did last night. I mean, his performance was great. Support all the way! But jesus!! No one gave him a chance and people yelled bring out Creed before he even finished his set. I really wish I could have found more Alice In Chains fans there. I think there were a total of 3 of us who actually were singing along, assuming we could actually hear him over freagin people's mouths. One guy was killin me, geez, now he was a TRUE AIC fan...shoulda hung out with him. Anyway, more about his set list. He's been changing his set list for the last 4 shows, I was trying to find out what songs he'd perform, but he changed it again. Which I think is kind of neat, you get a surprise at every show, like Christmas or something. hehe I think the killer songs he did last night were Bargain Basement Howard Hughes, Hellbound, Psychotic Break, Anger Rising, and Cut You In. However, when he played some AIC songs, I was like omg!!! I was pumped. Brother, which he played that for Layne the 2nd show after they found him dead, he was pretty tore up but he was able to get through it fine last night. Then Would? !!!! I was like omg, hell yeah, but I really didn't think he'd be able to pull it off without Layne's voice because he contributed to a huge portion of that song. In actuallity, it rocked! Down In A Hole, was always one of my all time Alice songs, Jerry did an awesome job on that one too. But I can't tell you more what song kicked the most ass, when he closed the show with "Them Bones" people went nuts. I actually heard people behind me singing it. It was more like screaming it. hehe I think it was the only song people knew. Was Great!!! That one guy who'd been singing and dancing the whole night to Jerry was just going insane, I'm surprised he didn't knock himself over. We would have had a blast sitting over there. Oh and on another note, I wore my In Memory Of Layne shirt and a lot of people we're like "who's that?" Uhm...k, oh and one last thing. Last night people were head banging to Creed and moshing, at least I think they were, wasn't paying too much attention, but all I could think of while they were on was that comment Billy Corrigan of Smashing Pumpkins said, "When people mosh at a Creed show, you know it's not cool anymore!" hehehe I won't lie though, they weren't too bad. Okay, that's about all I wanted to share.
8/21/02
So here's some info for tomorrow, August 22. August 22, 2002, is the worldwide global candle light vigil for Layne Staley. Tomorrow would have marked his 35th birthday. A few people organized this vigil months ago and I believe it started in Seatlle, now it's stretched all over the world. So worldwide we'll all get to memorialize such a talented and brilliant man who's gone way too soon. This vigil is being held from as far as England and Ireland, Sweden, and California, Florida, Ohio, and yes, in Pittsburgh. At 7pm everyone will meet at "The Point" in Pittsburgh. I don't know if I'll be able to go, but I wish I could. If not, I'll be there in spirit, which, I was told if anyone is planning to attend, you're supposed to bring candles, of course, but if you want, pictures of Layne, flowers, and anything you may wish to. Also, Danielle told me if anyone plays accoustic guitar to please bring it if you want and also a camera. As for anyone who can't attend the vigils, we're all wishing that at 7pm everyone think of Layne, light a candle, and reflect on him as an artist; and at some point in the day the song that was picked to be played today all over the world is "Nutshell." I really think this vigil is a great idea for the thousands of people who were unable to attend the first two. I also think that reflecting on him as a person will help many people in dealing with the grief. I know so many people still mourn his loss, I think it's because of how he died that we can't let go of the emptiness and anger. I know that he asked for help in many of his songs, so why didn't anyone help? That can't be answered, but I hope that people will remember him for his talents and yes, remember him for all his struggles he went through all those years and eventually in the end so that maybe one person can be helped away from addiction. Anyway, that's about all I wanted to say. Now I need to get ready for the Cantrell show. YAY! I hope many people will be there to support Jerry.
I added my new online diary on here and have also added another new page. The diary is probably boring, it will be just me venting and complaining. But, I've worked really hard on the other new page, so please check it out, even if you're not a Weiland fan. This page has taken me days to create, so the least you could do is check it out, and besides, a little Scott won't kill ya. Oh and another thing, guess what I'm looking at right at this very moment?!?! Jerry https://www.angelfire.lycos.com/cgi-auth/webshellCantrell tickets. YAY! Well they don't say Jerry, they say Creed, but hey I guess a little Creed won't kill me. Besides, I actually like a Creed song, go figure. "One Last Breath." There's a story behind that song and I've heard it before, but never really listenend to it. Not until something happened, and it made me cry, it really hit me. Anyway thanks everyone and be well.
UPDATE
I ADDED MY NEW STONE TEMPLE PILOTS PAGE RECENTLY. HOPE EVERYONE WILL CHECK IT OUT!
I'm in the process of rearranging my site...so if it looks really stupid, my apologies.
I've added a new page "Song Lyrics Page"...please check it out, I've worked really hard on it. I'd love to have any feedback on what I've done with it so far so feel free to either e-mail me or sign the guestbook.
If any of you would like to add me, unless you're already on any of my instant messengers, which most of you are...
ICQ: 88971284
YAHOO: intothevoid79 or ohio_chickee_00
Thanks for taking the time to view my page.
A few people have asked to read some of my
poetry so I decided to create this page
for that purpose. I've put what I've felt like sharing
on here, at least for now. I've been putting more poems on
here as I've been writing them. Please feel
free to comment on any of them by signing
my guestbook. Thank you.
These Pills
8/22/01
A defiant me, ashamed
These pills I must take
Unhappy feelings cloud the now
And I continue for my own sake.
Who am I, what am I?
Beautiful doesn't exist
That's all I've wanted my entire life
So these pills I cannot resist.
Not good enough for anything
Or anyone, this is how things are
I know I'll never have anything
My goals seem too far.
All I want is a little happiness
At least a little for today
So these pills I'll continue to take
To make me feel that way.
This poem WAS NOT about me...it was written for someone else. Everyone has been yelling at me about this one so I decided I'd clear it up and let everyone know that's not me I'm talking about.
Untitled
8/20/01
I am able to love another
To show I do feel
But I'm incable of being loved
An essence of what is real.
A disaster waiting to happen
I push away
It could have been a good thing
But something gets in the way.
I don't mean to be cold and timid
It's something I'm working to change
If I could just let one person in
Maybe those emotions could somehow rearrange.
I distance from everyone
I promised myself no more pain
It causes more guilt and confusion
To be with anyone in vain.
Everything was for him
Not so long ago
But without explanation
And took away everything I did know.
Fear of being that way
To let someone care for me again
To give someone my heart completely
I know that fear and uncertainty must someday end.
His Touch
August 1, 2001
He moves like the night
Quiet and slowly
He touches my skin
And drives me wild.
His lips move
Softly caressing my skin
His breath on my neck
And my eyes reveal I want him.
Everything he does
I long to feel his body next to me
His warm soft flesh touching mine
And his heartbeat the only sound.
I desire to make love to him
Enjoying every touch
It feels like it's never felt before
And I fall asleep in his arms.
I wake in the morning
To find him still laying there
I wrap my arms around him
Lay my head on his chest and just breathe.
I wrote this today while thinking of someone. I'm not going to mention any names, but he knows who he is. ~hehe~ And one thing I would like to say to him is thank you.
Manic Depressive (July 12,2001)
Cold arms surround me
Blankness stare confuses me
Quiet voice says nothing to me
Nothing at all.
I hold back
Not saying anything in return
Nor feeling anything in return
Maybe I do feel maybe not
It's all on my shoulders now.
What I thought I felt I don't
Maybe I do...it's all this confusing me
Who knows, who cares.
Coldness, blackness, safely once again
Tucked away inside.
Just the way I like it.
It's been missed, but never left in retrospect.
Manic depressiveness...happiness...find your common ground
Find a way to co-exist.
I didn't hear its laughter or its tears
I didn't hear its hatred or its fears
I didn't hear its coarse knock on the open door
I didn't hear its beating anymore.
Manic depressivess....happiness...find your common ground
Find a way to co-exist.
I just wrote this today. I don't want to explain what it was about, it's something I don't feel like getting into, but eventually when things are more easily understood by myself and I feel more able to want to explain, I will.
Silence (May 1, 2001)
A deafening silence imprisoned my soul
Borderline of sanity, but not really
I laugh at your thoughts, breaking me
burning me, taunting me, killing me
I dreamed a thousand times, something you can never take
Everything was gone but that, and I laughed again
That silence remained, but no longer exists
That silence is driven out
So again, I laugh
And you wonder why I do this
I laugh...there's nothing more to say
Except you didn't break me, you didn't burn me
you can no longer taunt me, and you did NOT kill me.
I wrote this not too long ago. Thank god for words to express for things like this. What I previously had here was somewhat rude, so I decided I would remove it. I also decided that I might remove all rude comments and guestbook entries so that I could have a decent page. There shouldn't be ignorance to my homepage and anything I have said thus far on here, I apologize for anyone seeing it, but I don't apologize for saying it. I, however, have decided that I would keep my poems on here, regardless if they hurt anyone's feelings or not. It's my expression of dealing with whatever issue I had written about.
In The Moonlight
I wander into your eyes
Beautiful crystals shimmer there.
I dance in the moonlight
Like a candle emerging to a wonderous twinkling flame.
I take your hand, put both on me
And taunt you to dance with me.
An insachable aroma fills the night sky
Unlike any I've ever smelled before.
I look deep into your eyes as you look in mine
And I realize the aroma is desire.
I lean to kiss your lips softly
Gently exploring with my tongue.
And you accept
As I feared you would turn away.
I move the tip of my tongue on the outside of your lips
As I want to know every part of you, my desire.
As we kiss with much passion
Still dancing in the moonlight as I feel free.
I remove each and every piece of your clothing
Ever so gently, exploring my hands to feel the removed area.
I then lay you down to the moist ground
Gazing at your body, every part, looking at your beauty.
I lay next to you, caressing your skin with my fingertips
For we are the only two in existence; a man and a woman.
I remove my clothing slowly letting you watch every movement
Looking up in the moonlit sky, I let all my
inhibitions escape freely from me.
I then kiss every inch of your body
Still not turning me away.
I move my lips slowly across your smooth skin
You can feel my breath touch your flesh.
The desire has built up inside me
You, my desire; I long to know what it feels like to make love to you.
I move to your lips again and to your neck
As I slowly move my body onto yours.
I tell you to lay back, to let me please you
As my body throbs feeling our flesh, at last, touch.
I enter you inside me
Our bodies finally meet for the first time, inner-locked together.
I lean to you to kiss you
As I move onto you with more grace.
The pleasure is undescribably breath-taking, feels unlike anything else
As I move more forcefully, pleasing us both.
I continue to move onto you
And I begin moaning, quietly at first.
My moaning increased the faster I moved
And then you began too.
I now, not stop, as I feel something deep inside
It's trying to make its way out.
I begin screaming a little moving much more forceful
As you tell me you feel the same way inside.
All of a sudden we both scream and moan loudly
As we both let go of what was trapped inside us.
The orgasms were incredible, our bodies trembled together
As our hearts pounded so fast, but then slowed as we did.
We then lay there together
Content with each other's pleasures.
I inter-locked you, my desire's, hand with mine
As we both looked to the sky, watching our shadows of
making love dance in the moonlight.
When I wrote this poem, I really didn't have anyone in mind, but more or less the ideal of feeling complete with someone. It's sort of letting your mind wander to something you know exists, but just have yet to experience.
His Pleasure, My Pain
Two dimensions seeping through the other
A disarray of hatred outlasts breath
Nasty words flow from one's mouth
As another dream dies in existence.
A wrecking ball destroys my temple
He shatters my comfort zone
It's gone in the debris
And he won't pick up the pieces to help me rebuild.
He used to shelter me from harm
Now he's the cause of my pain
He used to take care of my needs
Now he takes everything away.
I think everyone can get an idea as to what this one was about. When you lose a love you thought would last forever, it's a pain no one can put to words to simplify the feeling deep inside of you. All painful experiences take time to heal, but they do. The happiest point is my life in the present...I have so much to look forward to, and I'm not even sure what it is yet...but I do know that I no longer feel the way I once did.
Everything Taken Away
My body lies on the cold concrete
As this warm gush flows within to surface.
I tremble with chills
Flesh gets colder and colder.
My heart beats, rapidly increases
I feel this wetness drop to my face.
I open my eyes...not much for the pain won't let me.
There he is above me, letting the tears kiss my cheek.
He holds my hand firmly
My cold body warms with his touch
And a sense of fear is lifted enough to feel some peace.
I open my mouth... the words find themselves difficult to come out
But I force them to... "I love you always."
I slowly close my eyes enough to see images of he and I together... happy.
My mind then creates the image of my shooter
Why did he do this to me?
I'll never be able to live my dreams
My plans... motherhood... all washed away in the blink of an eye
But he is forgiven.
I clench his hand tighter... open my eyes once more
I look up at him... love in my heart, but cannot speak the words again.
Shut my eyes slowly... and my hand is released as I drift away slowly
I am now gone.
I wrote this after watching that movie "Ghost", which I've seen a million times. It's actually a good movie...but very sad. There really was no reason behind this one.
The Storm
A realm of an unconcious being trapped
As black clouds endure past the rain
A regency of unknown feelings scatter
Into a heart that beats no more.
All things must end
A new beginning starts
Hath no being falters true self
And is lost in the storm.
Resistence is uncommon, falls away from the sun
Destinies are not welcomed here
Fate is untrue, does not exist
And the rain falls still.
Cease not, the storm continues
As ravaged as can be
Making the night gloom and harsh
So where am I? Lost in the storm.
I wrote
this for someone that I used to care about. I had put all the poems I wrote for him in this journal and after a fight I gave it to him to read. It was filled with mixed emotions and feelings toward him and I decided that arguing about the problems made things worse. Therefore, all the pain he made me feel was put in that journal along with the happy feelings. Although it didn't help the situation...it did help to get those off my mind in a more civil, non-argumentative way. This may be rather strange of me, but when I care about someone enough, I usually create a journal of poems written for that person. It's a way of expressing a feeling in a way I can't just come out and say, or it helps for when I can't be there with them, to open it up and know that someone does care for them.
And that's all I have to say about all that! hehe
For those of you who haven't seen the first Crow movie, you need to watch it. IT IS the best movie ever made. It represents different meanings for different people. For me, I can understand both ideals it represents-Vengence(although I'm non-violent) and "Real Love". I believe in fate and destiny and that all things happen for a reason. And I believe in real love. Definitely rent the movie, you won't be disappointed; and click on the link to my CROW page.
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Email: stpweilandsgirl23@yahoo.com
