The Meaning Of Being Lonely

By: Eboni

Prologue

“If I can’t have you no one will!” She cursed to herself as she led him closer and closer to the brook, “Come to me, come to your darling Elaina... Soon we will be together, forever. It is the only way...”

He looked at her with eyes like glass, he followed her mindlessly. Together forever. He took his first step into the cold murky water, then another. He smiled as he saw her standing in front of him holding her arms out to him. His Elaina... He stretched out his arms to greet her and met the cool embrace of the rushing water. Elaina? His eyes searched for Elaina as he felt himself sinking, sinking without a hope of ever rising again. He felt his limbs going numb, his mind shutting down... Carmen, he thought, Carmen.

Chapter 1

The hotel lobby was elaborately decorated and sparsely populated. Only 20 or 30 people were downstairs, and the majority of them were with the Backstreet Boys, an American pop harmony group, or with the Swiss women’s ski team. Howard “Howie” Dorough and Alexander James, known as AJ, McLean had watched vividly when they saw the lovely ladies getting off their coach buses. The ski team had arrived only a few minutes after the Boys did. The Backstreet Boys consists of 5 members Kevin Richardson, the oldest at, 28, Howie Dorough, 26, Brian Littrell, 24, AJ McLean, 21, and Nickolas Carter, 19. They were currently in the middle of their second world tour for their album Millennium.

Standing in the midst of the small crowd Brian heard an assortment of different accents and languages. He was surprised to not hear many people speaking French, since he was in France. He held one regular sized suitcase, the rest of his luggage would be brought up by the bellboys along with everyone else’s stuff. For the first time on tour, Brian was not being smothered by bodyguards protecting him from screaming teenaged girls. Their plane had landed unannounced in Orleans at about 1:00am French time, so all the screaming girls were undoubtably in bed.

A beautiful girl with coffee and creme colored skin sat alone. She wore a purple wool cap and cascades of raven hair fell loose around her shoulders. Brian drank in her luscious appearance. He moved his elbow to nudge AJ, and heard an unfamiliar voice. Brian turned to notice he was rubbing elbows with a not too pleased looking elderly gentleman.

“Excuse me,” Brian said sheepishly, he smiled apologetically just in case the man did not speak English. The guy muttered something about “Americans” and went on about his way. Brian made a face behind his back, then turned to scan the room. Where had the others gone? He stood in front of a wall made completely of reflecting glass. He spied himself, a guy about 5'8 with light sandy brown hair, and blue eyes, standing out like a sore thumb in his bright red Backstreet Boys jacket. The rest of his group had apparently abandoned him.

“Brian,” said a familiar voice taking his arm. Brian smiled with relief at the sight of the shorter Latino man with shoulder length curly brown hair standing next to him.

“Man, Howie, I thought you guys had ran off and left me in the lobby with no key to my room!” Brian said. Howie laughed, “We were about to, but Kevin noticed you were missing.”

Brian rolled his eyes, “Well thanks guys, it’s so nice to know you care.” He laughed with Howie, “Come on.” Howie led Brian to the rest of the Backstreet Boys who stood by the elevator doors.

The hotel was 5 star, every carpet was red velvet, every table was polished, every mirror shone, and large chandeliers hung from the ceilings. The architecture was wonderfully artistic with arches and columns. Beautiful paintings lined the walls, and there was a chain of elegant restaurants. Almost everyone in the lobby was moderately to elaborately dressed, even the women from the ski team had on dresses or slacks... The Boys wore the jeans and t-shirts they had slept in on the plane, and bright red bomber jackets. Their bodyguards, band, and road manager didn’t look much better. A few bellboys dressed in their traditional red outfits equipt with small white cylinder hats came pushing large carts stacked with suitcases. They allowed the Boys and all the people along with them on the elevators first.

“Where’d you disappear to Brian?” their road manager, Mike, asked sounding mildly annoyed. Brian looked at him with a mild _expression, “Just got separated, no big deal.”

“How hard is it stick with a group of people wearing red jackets marked BACKSTREET BOYS?” Mike asked irritably, “It is 2 am in the morning Brian. No one wants to deal with a missing person! We are all tired, we are all cranky, and Nick looks like he’s gonna throw up again!”

Everyone in the elevator stepped away from the youngest member of the group who was leaning on the wall of the mirrored elevator. His face, which was normally of a peaches and creme complexion, was gray, and his bright blue eyes were closed. His dark lashes fluttered above his cheeks and by the rise and fall of his chest one could tell he was breathing fairly hard. He used one hand to rub his temples.

Nick removed his hand from his face and opened his dull eyes to look at everyone, “I’m not gonna throw up.”

Everyone sighed and moved closer again. Brian rested his hand on Nick’s shoulder. Nick was Brian’s best friend out of the whole group, they were even nicknamed Frick and Frack.

The elevator stopped and the double doors opened with a ring. Brian and AJ, a very slender guy with a shaped goatee, blue tipped hair, and a various assortment of tattoos, led Nick off the elevator carefully. They carried their suitcases with their free hands.

“What room are you in Nick?” AJ asked softly, not wanting to irritate Nick’s migraine anymore than necessary.

“516,” Nick said equally as soft, he pulled his room key from his pocket. A bellboy pushing a cart of suitcases traveled behind them. Nick fumbled with the key card trying to pull it through the slot on the door. A green light flashed allowing them all access to the suite. Brian set down his suitcase and clicked on the light switch. This caused Nick to gasp in pain and cover his eyes.

“Sorry!” Brian apologized. He watched as Nick threw himself down a large king- sized bed and buried his head in the massive pillows. AJ walked to the bed and grabbed one of Nick’s legs, and began removing his sneakers. Brian sighed and helped the bellboy decide which suitcases were Nick’s.

“There is a hotel doctor that will be here in the morning, but if you call him now he will come,” The bellboy spoke English very well, but with a sharp French accent.

Brian smiled, “Thanks, but he’s just got a killer headache. If it doesn’t go away by morning we may give him a call though. Is the number on the hotel phone?”

The bellboy nodded, “Just call the lobby and they will transfer you to him.”

Brian glanced at the cart again, “Ok, the rest of that stuff looks like it’s Howie’s. He’s the

short guy with the long curly hair.” He slipped the bellboy a generous tip in American money, and sent him on his way. Then he walked to the bed. AJ had already managed to somehow get Nick up and get him under the covers. Nick was slightly whimpering with the pillow still over his face.

“Should we wet a washcloth?” AJ asked Brian, “It seemed to help him a little on the plane.”

Brian nodded, “I’ll get one.” Brian walked over the rich blue carpeting into the large bathroom done in marble. He opened a fully stocked cabinet to find an array of towels arranged according to color and size. This hotel was nice! Brian chose a small green towel and began to run cool water into the gray marble sink. As the water ran he studied his worried reflection.

Nick had been suffering from that headache all day. When they had first gotten up that morning in Canada, Nick had been grouchy and quiet. He had complained of a slight headache then, but as the day wore on the worse it got. Howie gave him a couple of Tylenol that he sometimes carried around with him for it. The day was full of rehearsals and then an interview. Brian really didn’t think Nick would make it, he was in that much pain. Somehow he did, though. He made it all the way to the airport for their trip to France. He was practically in tears and trembling by then. Management could not cancel or postpone the tour plans for a sick headache. Brian had wanted to take Nick to a doctor that would see him right away to get something prescribed, but Management insisted that there wasn’t enough time for that. Instead, Mike had someone run down to the store to get Nick some extra strength Excedrin for migraines. That didn’t work out too well in the long run, because once on the plane Nick puked it up. Brian had rode many a plane, but never before had he ever had to use the barf bag ( even if it was for someone else sitting beside him.) He used it quite a few times in fact. Then after a few hours Nick fell asleep. Brian thanked the Lord for that, because Nick hadn’t eaten much that day, and nobody knew where it was all coming from!

He was quiet for the duration of the trip, until they had to wake him up when they reached the airport in France. They then transferred to a traveling van to take them to their hotel. It was a 45 minutes drive, it would have been only 30 minutes, but they had to pull over once so Nick could be sick again. That brings them up to Nick’s room.

Brian gasped as he felt wetness on his elbows! He had been daydreaming and not paying attention to the faucets! He turned the faucets off and hurriedly grabbed a handful of towels to keep the overflowing sink water from splattering on the floor. After he dried up the mess, he placed the towels in a heap in a gold rimmed clothing hamper. Then he rung out the towel he had wet for Nick and carried it back into the room. Kevin was in the room now. He looked to be giving Nick more capsules. Brian approached the bed holding the washcloth.

Kevin smiled at him. Brian frowned back at his taller cousin. Kevin was 5 inches taller than Brian with green eyes, thick black hair, and even thicker black eyebrows. Nick was lying flat on his back and Brian placed the moist towel over his forehead and eyes.

“Lets get out of here,” Kevin said softly, “Nick, we’re going to turn off the light and let you sleep, ok? There’s a trash can next to your bed if you feel sick again.”

Nick mumbled a response.

They silently crept out of the room and shut the door behind them, “Geez, I wonder what is up with that? Nick has never gotten migraine headaches before,” Kevin said looking puzzled.

AJ shrugged, “It may be a stress headache.”

“Or it may come from being too stupid to come in out of the rain,” Brian grumbled under his breath.

“I hope he’s better by morning, we have an interview at 9 am.”

“Huh?” two heads snapped towards him.

“I thought the interview was going to be on Tuesday?” Brian scratched his head, “We were supposed to get a day off tomorrow!”

AJ shook his head miserably, “They rescheduled. We got a photo shoot later that afternoon.”

Brian’s mouth dropped open, “So when exactly do we get a day off?”

“Probably next week,” AJ said with an annoyed glint to his eyes,” Which means that next week might be next month.”

“Man!” Brian griped.

“Go to bed guys,” Kevin said with a sigh,“ There’s no good in griping about it. Good night.”

AJ and Brian watched him go, then sighed as well.

The girl from the lobby came to Brian in his dreams...

She wore a long elegant evening gown made of stardust. Brian sat at the edge of the ballroom full of so many rich cultivated people feeling out of place and uncomfortable. The girl with the long ebony hair and rich cocoa butter skin held out her arms to Brian. Brian felt himself instantly transform from a jean clad bumpkin into a tuxedo clad prince. He held his hands in a gesture for dancing. He and the girl took the floor with a spotlight on them. He whirled her around with ease, and lifted her so gracefully. She just felt so right in his arms, in his hands. He knew her... He gazed around at his surroundings. He was surrounded by people who were giving him condemning glares, he saw that everyone was dressed sort of old fashioned. It was like a 1930's movie. He wondered why everyone looked at him with such hatred, he looked into the eyes of his girl and saw such fear. Brian held her closer feeling so much love and companionship with her.

What was her name? Brian opened his mouth to speak to her, but his words fell away like raindrops. There was no sound in this dream, Brian realized for the first time. He clasped her hands and stared out into the growing crowd around them again. Two familiar faces were in the crowd. Brian squinted to make out the features of AJ’s face. It was an AJ with no facial hair, no tattoos, and his hair was a normal color, and as long as Howie’s! Brian was about to try to reach him, but stopped dead when he recognized the other face. It was Nick, Nick was dressed in old fashioned plain clothes. He stood with someone with an unreadable _expression of unexplained fear on his face. The someone was another girl, one that kind of resembled.... Come on Bri, she’s someone you should know... He felt a pulling at his mind, the pulling you feel when you are about to wake up from a dream... NO!

He turned to face the girl to see that she was shrinking away from him. No, she couldn’t go... Brian didn’t even know her name... What’s your name?

Elaina...

Chapter 2

“Rise and shine, Frack,” Brian had entered Nick’s suite at 7:00 am. He opened the blinds to let the sunlight stream in. The light threw a striped design on the bed. Nick pulled the covers over his face in an effort to block out the sunlight. “Come on buddy, we got an interview in a couple of hours.” Brian gave Nick a slight shake then proceeded to tackle the blankets away from him. Nick put up a good fight, and ended up in a heap on the floor surrounded by his blankets.

“You feeling better?” Brian asked him, “You should have known better than to go out and play in the rain with those dogs.”

Nick groaned and boosted himself back up onto the bed. He sat hunched over the end of the bed miserably, trying to shake himself awake, he gave Brian a play glare,“The migraine’s all gone,” he sniffled.

“Thank goodness for that, Frack, we were seriously debating whether to call a doctor last night,” Brian said unzipping Nick’s suitcase and tossing his toothbrush and facial cleansers at him. Nick fumbled the toss and watched sadly as the items fell to the carpet.

“That’s why the only football games you get to play in are on a Play station,” Brian laughed. Nick made a face at him and picked up the items. He sniffled a few more times.

Brian looked at him observantly, “Either I smell bad and you’re trying to name my scent, or you’re getting a cold.”

Nick yawned and stretched simultaneously, “It’s probably both, but I’m lucking out this morning because I can’t smell anything... Which means I can’t smell you!”

Brian looked offended, then he raised his arm pit to sniff underneath it. After being reassured, Brian beat Nick with his own pillow and sent him into the bathroom to wash up. The door closed behind him, and Brian could hear shower water starting up.

There was a soft knock on the door, then Howie poked his head inside. He looked surprised to see Brian sitting in the room, “Is Nicky, ok?” Howie came in, “I meant to come and check in last night, but I sat down on that bed for one minute and was knocked out!”

Brian laughed, knowing that Howie could fall asleep in any position anywhere. Howie, like Brian, was fully dressed and ready to go down to breakfast, “How’s he doing? That headache gone?”

“Yeah, but I think he’s coming down with the sniffles, or something,” Brian said sliding off the bed and gathering up all the blankets his struggle with Nick had left on the floor.

Howie helped him out.

“Hey, time to... Oh,” Kevin entered the room feeling foolish. Of course, Brian would have already woken Nick up, “How’s he feeling?”

“Brian thinks he’s getting the sniffles,” Howie commented opening another one of Nick’s suitcases and discovering Nick’s undies.

The door to the bathroom opened, and Howie grinned. A hand stretched out the bathroom door, and Howie walked over to place the pair of boxers in Nick’s awaiting palms. Howie snickered, “What would he do without us?”

“Walk around half naked?” Brian said, “Man, I don’t feel like doing an interview today! I want to go have some fun or somethin’!”

“Fun is not a word in the Firm Dictionary,” AJ remarked entering the room.

“Now AJ’s come to join the party!” Brian said, “Hey, I have an idea... Why don’t we all strike?” Brian began to prance around the room pretending like he held a pick it sign. Nick came out of the bathroom boxer- clad and collided with Brian who was in mid- march with a clump.

Nick was knocked back through the bathroom door and into the clothes hamper. Brian fell back onto the floor. Crash! Kevin, Howie, and AJ laughed hysterically.

“Get me the hell out of this Littrell!” Nick’s angry voice yelled. Kevin and Howie peeked in the bathroom to see Nick’s butt in the hamper and his arms and legs flailing about, trying to pull himself out. Laughing, Kevin and Howie gave him a hand. Nick stood in front of them with a glare on his face, “Stupid Brian.”

He walked past Brian who was on the floor laughing and flopped down onto his bed beside AJ, who was sprawled across the bed.

“Hey guys, uh-un, we gotta be downstairs in a few minutes to eat breakfast,” Kevin tugged at Nick’s leg and gestured towards his opened suitcases for him to find some clothes. Nick made a face at Kevin, and sat up. He slid off the bed and onto the floor beside his suitcase.

Nick frowned, his face a healthy flushed color, he held out a red Tommy Hill shirt, “Should I wear this?”

“If it’s not wrinkled,” Howie said. Nick nodded and pulled the shirt over his head ruffling his damp blond hair.

“Is everyone up?” Mike’s voice called into the room.

“Yeah!” the Boys all called back.

“Is everyone ready?”

“Almost!”

Mike opened the door and came into the room, “What’s the hold up? You guys have 15 minutes to be downstairs... How are you feeling Nick? Better I hope.”

“I feel better,” Nick said.

AJ passed Nick a pair of jeans, and Nick began pulling them on. “This interview is two hours long. Do you think you can do it, Nick?”

Nick shrugged and wiped a stray strand of hair off his forehead, “I guess.” He zipped his pants and AJ handed him a pair of socks. Nick smiled in amusement at AJ’s helpfulness.

Mike smiled at him, and patted his shoulder, “You guys still have 15 minutes.” Mike left the room.

“Brian, can you close the blinds?” Nick asked lacing up his shoes.

Brian got up to close the blinds. He reached for the cord, and took a look out the window. He took in the beautiful landscape full of trees, fountains, a sparkling pool surrounded by lounge chairs, and... THE GIRL!

Brian leaned closer to the glass, rattling the blinds. He parted the shingles to get a clearer view. There she was, Elaina, Brian’s dream girl. She stood by herself beside the fountain wearing a plain white dress and a large overcoat.

“Who’s that?” Nick asked coming beside Brian.

Brian jumped not aware that Nick had come so close, “It’s uh... uh... I think her name’s Elaina.”

Nick looked at him oddly, “You think her name’s Elaina? You’ve talked to her?”

Brian shook his head negatively, “You’re going to think I’m crazy, but I dreamed about her last night.”

Nick gave a little laugh, “You better not let Leigh find out about that.”

“Yeah,” Brian shuddered, “ She’d kill me! But, I saw this girl last night too.”

“I didn’t see her.”

“You were too busy hiding your eyes in Kevin’s sleeve,” Brian snickered giving Nick a play shove. Nick shoved him back weakly.

“What is so interesting over here?” Kevin came over, and looked out the window.

“Brian saw his dream girl,” Nick said with a wicked smile, “She’s over...”

“Where’d she go?” Brian’s eyes darted over the landscape, “I know she couldn’t have walked away that fast wearing that dress she had on!”

Kevin laughed, “Alright Brian, don’t you have a girlfriend? Lets go before Mike kills us. You sure you’re alright, Nick?”

Nick gave Kevin a smile, “I’ll be ok, Kev.”

Chapter 3

“I swear, whenever we do interviews the people are always picking on me,” Nick was complaining sitting in the backseat of the limousine. Brian sat beside him, and in between them sat a large box of tissue.

“That’s because you’re always falling asleep,” AJ laughed, “If you at least looked like you were paying attention instead of sleeping with your eyes open...”

“I do not sleep with my eyes open... Is that possible?” Nick changed the tone of the conversation.

Kevin laughed at how easily Nick could change the subject, and without a clue that he had done anything. Kevin sat in-between AJ and Howie on the opposite side of Nick and Brian. They had just returned from their 9:00 interview, and were now on their way to lunch. Mike was giving the Boys two full hours off for lunch. Wow.

The Boys didn’t know where to begin to spend all their leisure time. (Sarcasm is being used here, if you can’t tell.) Nick blew his nose for the hundredth time that day.

“Maybe we should drop you back off at the hotel,” Kevin said thoughtfully to Nick. He tapped his knee. Nick looked appalled, “But what would I do there?”

“Get some rest, and confine your germs! What you got, we don’t want,” AJ said, he, Howie, and Brian laughed as Nick pouted.

“Seriously Nick, we got a show to do in two days and we don’t need you being sick,” Kevin spoke logically, “We’re only gonna go eat someplace. You won’t miss a thing. We’ll drop you off, and then bring you something back.”

“But, I’ll be by myself!” Nick protested, “I’m gonna be bore...”

“I’ll stay with ya Frack,” Brian interjected before Nick could finish his whining, “The guys can bring me back something too.”

Nick’s mouth fell open in disbelief, they were all in on it! It was a conspiracy!

“Well it’s all settled,” Howie pressed the intercom, and told the driver to swing them back by the hotel.

The guys were right, Brian thought, as he watched his best friend sleep soundly. He’s definitely catching something. It was the middle of the day, and Kaos was asleep. Weird. Brian stared at the TV screen that was showing him a racing video game. Brian turned the game off, and pushed Nick’s Sega Dreamcast back under the TV cart. Something was beckoning him back over to the window... Could it be her again? Brian was excited, he wanted to see her again. This time he would run out and try to talk to her. He opened the window and felt the cool breeze blowing outside. He inhaled deeply of it, then he glanced down to the grounds. Sure enough, there she was again. She was still as beautiful as ever, and this time she wore dark corduroy overalls and a wool knit sweater shirt. Her clothes seemed slightly old fashioned, and they fit her a little big, but she wore them well. Her long ebony hair was tied back in a braid. She raised her head and noticed him. She smiled and waved a greeting. Brian eagerly waved back,” Hello!!” he called down to her.       

“Hello!” she called back. Her voice was like music! Brian just had to talk to her, and in his minute of indecision she answered his problem for him, “Won’t you come down and talk with me?” She had an accent, a familiar one. It wasn’t exactly French, it was... was... Cajun!

Brian stood still gawking, he almost didn’t know what to say. He almost didn’t say anything... He stood choking on his surprise and delight. He was also nervous. What would he say to this girl? Hi, I dreamed about you last night! How lame would that sound... Wait a minute, did he answer her? Shoot. He looked back down at her through the window, and felt the actual brightness of her eyes sparkling with amusement at him, “Um, yeah! I’ll be right there!” He knew he was wearing a goofy smile, but he couldn’t help it. He waved to her again, and hastily shut the window as another draft blew in at him. He’d better grab a jacket. He turned and began to leave the window, and remembered Nick. Nick was still draped across the bed in a haphazardous position. Brian straightened the blankets over him, and after second thought, he added another. Should he leave a note?

Nick snorted and rolled over knocking a pillow off the bed. Brian shook his head, he would probably be back before Nick woke up. Brian did hastily scribble out a note for the other guys just in case they came back before he returned.

Then he quickly ran to his room and snatched his coat off his bed. Please let her still be there, please let her still be there! Brian greeted the clerk at the desk as he dashed outside and collided with the girl of his dreams.

“Ow!” She nearly toppled to the frost covered ground, but Brian caught her.

“Sorry about that,” he apologized slightly blushing. He steadied her, and studied her. She was even more beautiful up close. Her body curved in all the right places. Brian blushed again, when he realized he was staring.

“It’s ok,” the girl spoke again with her wonderful accent. She smiled revealing pearl white teeth. Brian wanted to melt, despite the cold biting air, “I noticed you last night in the lobby.”

“You saw me?” Brian blinked, he was surprised. A beautiful girl had been checking him out at the same he had been checking her out, “Well, I uh, saw you too. I mean, I saw you sitting in the lobby last night.”

The girl nodded and began to walk slowly, motioning for him to follow her, “My name is Elaina. What is yours?”

Elaina! He knew it! It was her. He was one of those freaky people that dreamed of something before it happened, but in this case it was cool. In all his excitement, he realized he forgot, yet again, to answer her question, “My name’s Brian.”

She smiled that dazzling smile again, and Brian felt his knees go weak. He didn’t know how much more he could take, “So, how long are you staying?”

“Um...” she looked uncomfortable, “ I can’t be for certain about that.”

Brian grinned, “That’s cool, my... my friends and I are here for a few days.”

“Oh, what for? Are you vacationing?” Elaina looked very interested.

Brian looked at her questionatively. Was she a fan? Was she pretending to not recognize him?- It has happened before. “Kind of, you could say that.” Brian felt bad about not telling her the entire truth, but he decided to play it safe.

“Oh.”

“Your turn, why are you here?” Brian turned the conversation around. She smiled brilliantly, “Ah, ah, Mister Brian, you’re prying into my personal business. WE’VE JUST MET.”

“But you asked me, and I answered you!” Brian laughed.

“Oh, but I didn’t force you to tell me an answer, now did I?” she giggled.

Brian was stumped there, he smiled again. “I know it may sound crazy, heck it is crazy, but I feel like I know you. It felt like I knew you when I saw you yesterday, and last night I dreamed about... ”

“You too?” Elaina’s eyes were doe-like. She stared at Brian in amazement, “That’s why I called you down, Brian. I dreamed about you.”

Brian blinked, he felt her hand on his. He took her cold palms and warmed them in his hands. He kissed them gently as he looked deeply into her eyes, and felt as if he was falling into a black hole of emotion. He was being sucked in like a vacuum. He had to steady himself on the fountain behind him. His hand connecting with the cold stone woke him from his trance.

“Brian,” Elaina whispered, her lips were so close, he could feel her warm sweet breath on his face, “Would you be afraid if I asked if I could see you tomorrow?”

Brian swallowed as he stared at the shape of her fine lips, she wore no lipstick, no make up at all... She was so beautiful, and so.. So his. So, LEIGHANNE! He had forgotten all about her! He felt himself recoil from her warm presence, he felt ashamed.

Elaina smiled at him with enchantment in her eyes, “You are spoken for, I see.”

Brian nodded guiltily, “I don’t know what I was thinking when I came out here!” Brian shook his head, “I just wanted to talk to you, and that dream I had last night was so real I could actually taste the wine that was in it... Me and you were.. Were..”

“A fianced,” Elaina smiled at Brian taking his hand again, “I know Brian. I have had that dream before. Do you believe in a person having past lives?”

Brian jumped at the mention of that. Past lives? Could he and Elaina have been together in a past life.. No! Of course not! That was ridiculous, “No, actually I don’t.”

Elaina smiled her enchanting smile once again, “Do you believe in soul mates?”

Brian was beginning to feel even more uncomfortable than he already did, if that was possible. He shrank away from her, but did answer her question, “Yes, I do.”

“I do too,” She pulled her hand away from his, “I’ll see you around, Brian Thomas Littrell.”

Chapter 4

Brian let out his breath as he watched her walk away. She walked gracefully with a nice sway. How did she know his name? He never told her his full name? Dread begin to fill Brian’s stomach, she was a fan, only a love crazy fan... He felt strangely disappointed in that. She was the girl from his dreams, beautiful and sophisticated, he didn’t want her ethereal dream-like perfection to be tainted with the knowledge that she was only another fan. Brian sighed, maybe it was better this way. He came so close to kissing her. What would Leighanne say? Leighanne was coming in two weeks. What just happened Littrell? You ran out to meet a pretty, not just pretty, beautiful stranger, that you dream about at night, and you expected nothing to happen? Brian smacked himself on the forehead, You idiot! Thoroughly disgusted he glanced down at his watch... An hour! He had been outside an hour! It only felt like a few minutes. He gazed back at the hotel and slowly made his way back through the main doors. He took one last glance at the path the girl had chosen to walk down when she departed. He wondered if he would indeed see her again, and did he want to?

Brian went to his own room first and dropped off his heavy coat, then he came back to Nick’s room to see if he was awake yet. He slid the key card through the lock and opened the door.

“Hey Bri,” AJ greeted Brian, “We brought you guys back some burgers.”

Brian entered Nick’s room to find that everyone had returned, and Nick was sitting on the floor playing Dreamcast.

“Hamburgers? Guys, we’re like in France, and the best you can bring us is hamburgers?” Brian raised an eyebrow and tried his best to sound condescending. Then he cracked a smile, everybody knew that Brian did not like to experiment with his food, “Thanks man.”

“Did you see your dream girl again?” Nick asked, never turning away from his video game.

Brian rolled his eyes, “That’s none of your business, Frack.”

“I have business?” Nick asked in a dazed voice, he was entranced in his video game.

Howie chunked a pillow at him.

“Yes, I saw her again,” Brian said answering the question that everyone wanted to know.

“Cool,” AJ said with a nod of approval, “She got any cute friends?- Say anybody on that Swiss women’s ski team?”

“Hey,” now Howie was interested.

“I don’t know,” Brian said uneasily, he went to the brown paper bag on the table. Kevin sat in a chair talking on his cell phone, he gave Brian a nod of greeting.

Brian smiled and reached into the bag, “Two burgers? Both for me?”

“No, one’s for Kaos, who’s so into his game right now he forgot to eat it,” AJ said waving his hand in front of Nick’s mesmerized face. Nick smacked his hand away and cursed as he lost another life on his game. Sad “end of story” game music began to play as Nick continued to gripe. AJ, Howie, and Brian howled with laughter at Nick’s defeat. Nick threw down his controller and tackled AJ to the floor to get revenge.

Kevin hung up the phone, “We’ve got a photo shoot tomorrow before rehearsal, guys,” he announced.

“Another one?” Howie complained.

Kevin nodded. Brian sat down and took a hearty bite out of his burger, he hadn’t realized how hungry he was until then, “Hey Nick, if you don’t want this burger then I’ll gladly eat it.”

Nick and AJ were still wrestling on the floor.

“Hey Nick!” Kevin called, “Come eat before B-rok devours everything.”

Nick was on top of AJ bending his arm back, “Say it!” he was demanding.

“Nickolas!” Nick’s head snapped up, “Whaa?”

“Come eat, now.”

Nick stared at Kevin not knowing exactly what to say, “Ok.... Dad.”

Brian laughed and snatched a few pickles off Nick’s burger. Nick’s mouth dropped open at Brian’s nerve. He then smiled evilly, “Kevin, Brian didn’t wash his hands, and he touched my food!”

Now it was Brian’s turn for his mouth to scrape the table... Oh, now Nick had to pay. Brian snatched Nick’s unopened soda can away from him, “Why Nick, you know you shouldn’t be drinking carbonated beverages when you’re sick.”

Nick gasped and made a lunge for his cola, but Kevin stopped him, “He’s right, Nick.”

Nick flicked Brian off subtly, and smiled kindly at Kevin, humbly accepting a glass of juice.

Brian grinned. What a great day this turned out to be. He actually met his dream girl, and she behaved exactly like a dream girl should. She was sexy and exotic in a way, and her accent drove him crazy... Where was she from? Visions of Leighanne’s angry face clouded his mind, and he immediately regretted his previous thoughts.

Chapter 5

“I love you,” Brian said those words with such utter conviction that it scared him. Elaina was wearing a starched white blouse and a long cotton skirt. They were sitting

on the banks of a swamp in Louisiana. Brian was wearing brown trousers and no shoes. He held Elaina’s willowy frame in his arms and felt her warmth and her heart beating against his chest.

She was looking at him with such love and adoration in her eyes, but there was also shame. She wanted to tell him something, and now she was holding back.

“I said I love you Lanie,” Brian whispered again softly, maybe she hadn’t heard him. Say it Lanie, say it to me.

“I love you too... William.”

William? But the strange thing was Brian didn’t think it was strange for her to call him William. She brought his lips down on top of hers. The kiss was soft and gentle, fresh and chaste. Brian regretted not kissing her the day before. It was like a breath of fresh air. It cleansed him.

“I don’t want to marry Carmen,” Brian said, feeling the bleakness in his own voice. He felt Elaina’s small soft hands caressing his cheek, “But your parents want you to...”

“To marry another rich creole debutante!” Brian snapped angrily, “Why can’t they see that I want a real woman. One that has a mind of her own, and loves me not because I am a rich and a blue blood, but for me. Sometimes I feel as if you, and Nathaniel of course, are the only people in this world who know me.”

Elaina laughed her wonderful laugh, “Darling, you make your life sound so miserable.”

“It will be, without you!” Brian said taking her hands, “That is why I want you to marry me. I want you to run away with me, right now, today!”

“William!” Elaina’s eyes gleamed with excitement, “Stop being silly!”

“No, I’m serious! I don’t want Carmen, I want you for my wife. Our friend Alexander can help us! He has friends in France that will help us runaway,” Brian lifted Elaina in his arms, “Say you’ll come!”

“But William...”

“Please, say you’ll come, or I’ll.... I’ll throw myself into this swamp and I will never come back up for air!”

“William!” Elaina shrieked as he lifted her high above his head.

“What do you say?”

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” Brian tossed her up into the air and caught her willowy frame. He refused to put her back on the ground. He held her body close to his as he continued to taste her sweet lips. She said ‘Yes.’

Brian awoke with a grunt as his alarm went off. Perfect way to end a dream, a long kiss, and shrilling alarm clock. He hit the off switch and slowly got out of bed. He wondered how long he was going to have these dreams? Maybe if he stopped thinking about Elaina so much, they would go away. Why was he even thinking about her? He has Leighanne. She is the one he loves! But if all of this were true, then why must he debate with himself, trying to convince his own mind that Elaina was just another fan. He shuffled around in his sweats trying to find the light switch for his room. Once the lights were on he went to his window. He hated waking up when it was still dark outside. He sighed, and grabbed the key to Nick’s room. The Backstreet Boys’ Wake Up plan worked on a buddy system. Each Boy chose a person, and then they were held responsible for making sure one or the other was awake in the morning. Brian and Nick had chosen each other, and so far, Brian was doing all the wake up calls. He entered Nick’s dark room and flipped on the light switch, “Wake up Frack, it’s 5:15!”

Nick grumbled and rolled onto his side away from Brian. Brian growled, he was not in a good morning mood. I’m gonna make you wish you had woken up when I said so, Brian promised Nick under his breath. He dragged his feet back to his room, nearly running into Howie on the way. Howie greeted him gruffly, as he went into Kevin’s room to wake him. Then Kevin had to go wake AJ up. Brian went into his room and searched his suitcases until he found what he was looking for. His super soaker. He loaded the gun with cold water from the sink and scurried back to Nick’s room. Nick’s unsuspecting form lie on its side. Nick looked so peaceful, so innocent, what a target! Brian aimed and fired.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!” Nick shrieked, flying out of bed. He stood in front of Brian wide eyed and panting. Then his eyes narrowed into mean slits.

Brian took in his early morning appearance. He was wan with dark bags under his eyes, his blond hair stood out in all directions. “Well don’t we look beautiful this morning,” Brian remarked after his morning analysis. Brian saw white next as a large pillow collided with his face. He felt himself being knocked down onto the floor, and a rain of pelts by a pillow striking his head. He covered his face with his hands to shield himself, then he pushed Nick off. They wrestled for a few minutes before Mike poked his head in the room, “Boys...” he warned.

Brian let Nick out of the headlock he had him in under his arm pit, “Go wash up, you stink...” Nick said with a light laugh.

Brian popped the back of his head, “Go do something with your mop!”

Nick stuck his tongue out at Brian, and frowned at Mike. He slipped into the bathroom.

Brian walked back to his own room.

After taking a shower he was still half asleep. He had no idea why he was so tired. Maybe he’d been hanging around Nick too much, and was catching Nick’s germs. He lie down on his bed, wondering when Kevin was going to come in and bug him about getting up. He lie flat on his back with his arms tucked under his head thinking about Elaina, and the new dream he had experienced. He wondered if she had had another dream too. He wondered if they dreamt about the same things, same circumstances. It was odd. He really began to dwell on what she had said about past lives... He was drifting into a light sleep when he was joustled up and down by something bouncing on his bed... Not something, someone. Brian opened his eyes to see Nick grinning down at him. Brian rolled his eyes then put his arms over them. Brian could feel Nick bouncing around on the bed again. He raised his arm from over his eyes again to see Nick settling down beside him on the bed, lying on his stomach. Brian smiled and closed his eyes again. He knew why Nick was in his room. Kevin had probably already been in Nick’s room to wake him up for the second time so Nick had crawled in here to make Kevin think that he was awake and had come to mess with Brian. He had never met anyone who tried so hard at being so lazy! He then heard his door open again and felt two more big depressions in his bed. He looked to see Howie and AJ now lying in his bed putting pillows over their eyes... Never mind. He was just beginning to drift off into a light sleep when the door to his room crashed open.

Chapter 6

“I swear you guys are so pitiful!” Kevin was grumbling in the limo.

“What, it’s not like you never sleep in or nothing,” AJ said adjusting his sun glasses. It was just too early in the morning for him.

“Yeah, I admit I sleep in, but not after someone comes and wakes me up twice! You guys went back to sleep on purpose!” Kevin accused.

Howie, Nick, AJ, and Brian shrugged an unspoken ‘So what?’

Kevin looked at each of them with a stern expresion that slowly turned into a smile, “As I said before, pitiful.”

That day the Boys were rehearsing for their show that would go on the next night. A stage hand was checking over the surfboards the guys were going to use for the show.

Nick watched warily, he still remembered the time his board had flipped over and he had nearly been dumped into the audience because of a miscalculation in weight distribution.

He glanced over to see Brian looking rather spacy. He waved his hand in front of his face.

“Yes Nick?” Brian smiled, then turned to face Nick who was staring at him.

“Whassup Frick? You look like I do when we’re doing interviews.”

“Oh my, I wasn’t aware that I looked that clueless!” Brian brought his hand down over his face as if he were trying to rub off the _expression he was making.

Nick laughed, “You’re funny Brian, but seriously, what’s wrong?” Nick’s face became serious.

“Woa, I hate seeing that look from you,” Brian said taking in Nick’s new facial _expression. Nick gave him a “come on” look. “Ok Frack, but only cause you asked so nicely.” Brian sighed deeply, “This is between us little brother. I met Elaina yesterday, I mean really met her.”

“And she was...”

“Attractive, very attractive. So attractive I forgot about Leigh! I almost kissed her Nick, and it wasn’t gonna be no friendly kiss neither! She was all over me!”

“Wow, now why can’t I ever meet girls like that?” Nick pouted and looked thoughtful, “You didn’t kiss her though.”

“No, but I wanted to! And do you know what she asked me? She asked me if I believe in past lives, and soul mates, Nicky! You know I’m not into that reincarnation bit, but Nick. I keep having these dreams, about her and this guy named William, and William is me! She calls me ‘William’ and I answer like it’s my name without even a second thought. I even know her, and we were discussing eloping in France!”

“Eloping?”

“Yeah. I loved her Nick. I felt it; it was real. The whole thing felt real, especially the kiss. That kiss was the wildest thing I have ever experienced. I have never kissed Leigh like that, and I don’t think I ever will...”

“Brian..”

“Yesterday when I saw her, she told me she had dreams about me too. I wonder if they are the same dreams, ya know,” Brian knew he was rambling, but once he started he couldn’t stop. His words just kept tumbling out on top of one another, until Nick shushed him.

“Brian, think about what you are saying. You dream about a girl, and then you meet her. I saw her, and I know she’s pretty, but Bri, you’ve got another gorgeous woman coming for you in two weeks! From what you’re saying it sounds like you love her. You think you’re soul mates, and you sound like you do believe that past life mumbo jumbo. Bri, are you gonna give up a good thing, for a dream?” Nick took Brian by the shoulders, “Well are ya?”

Brian stared back at Nick and slowly shook his head, “No, of course not. I feel bad for even dwelling on it, but Nick it bothers me. And she knows my name. Elaina called me by my full name.”

“So she’s a fan?” Nick questioned, he nodded at the stage hand that had put finishing touches on his lift.

“I don’t know Nick. I keep telling myself she is, but I don’t know. She seems like, I don’t know. The whole thing is just creepy to me, and I can’t wait ‘til Leighanne gets here. Maybe the dreams will go away then,” Brian said this as he watched Nick step onto his surfboard and bounce on it a bit. 

“By the time Leigh gets here we’ll be already checked out of the hotel and on the bus traveling away from here. Maybe if you add Leighanne plus the distance we are going to put between you and the girl, it will do the trick.”

Brian smiled widely, “I bet you’re right, Nicky. You know, sometimes you’re not such a blond ditz after all.”

“Thanks... HEY!” Nick punched Brian for the cheap shot, then he looked thoughtful, “Hey, since you don’t want her, maybe I could...”

“Oh no way Nicky, she’s... she’s... Out of your league,” Brian laughed.

“What do you mean?” Nick hopped off the board and began to follow Brian as he climbed the stairs onto the stage.

Brian simply gave him another laugh and went to kick Kevin’s butt while he was leaning over a sea of cords, “Brian!” Kevin cried out. Brian quickly ran off the stage into the imaginary audience, “I had to do it, cuz. It was so tempting.”

“I’m glad to see he’s feeling better,” Howie commented watching Brian and Nick horse around.

“Who, Brian?” AJ asked, when Howie nodded, AJ proceeded to say, “He was acting kind of down earlier. I bet he’s missing Leighanne. I know I miss Amanda, but she’s busy with her career, and so am I.”

“Yeah, you’re busy, looking at every other thing with tits and a shake,” Howie said snidely.

AJ’s mouth fell open, “Howard, I’m shocked! Who taught you to speak in such a manner?!” He laughed, “I do not!”

“Oh, you do so, I saw you with the Swiss team last night,” Howie teased.

“Well I saw you too!”

“I don’t have a so-called girlfriend. I am allowed,” Howie winked. Then he went to weigh in for the surf boards.

AJ grimaced, he was not cheating on Amanda, he was just... He was just having a little fun, no harm done in that. AJ caught a flash of red in his peripheral vision. He turned to see the most exquisite looking girl he had ever seen. She wore an old style crimson smock. She had her hair loose around her shoulders so that it looked like a cape made of the finest black velvet. Her skin was the flavor of cocoa with creamy skin forming over the top. AJ bit his lip and walked closer to the edge of the stage. He took a quick look to see if any of the others were looking at her too. No, they were all off in their own little worlds.

“Hello?” AJ said to her. She looked surprised, “Hello?” She had an accent, not French, but something more familiar and southern.

“My name’s AJ, Alex,” AJ jumped off the stage in front of her, “This is a private rehearsal, so I have to ask how you got in?”

The girl looked taken aback, “I was let in by one of the nice gentlemen outside.” She spoke in her slow melodious voice. It entranced AJ and his head almost swayed with every word she spoke. This girl gave him an odd feeling, and he didn’t know if he liked it. She felt... familiar? “Do I know you?”

She looked at him, focusing her baby brown eyes. She gently reached to his face and removed his trademark sunglasses that he sometimes even wore indoors. Their eyes met and their gazes connected. AJ felt like he was being sucked into a black hole. He was being taken somewhere...

“So do you think you can arrange it for us Alex?” William was so excited.. William? It was Brian, or somebody who sure looked a lot like him. Elaina.. Yes, her name was Elaina, stood behind him with her eyes slightly downcast.

“I can call my cousin in Orleans, but William what about your marriage to Carmen, your parents...” AJ felt the words come out of his mouth, but he had no idea what he was talking about... But here he did. Here, was an old fashioned bedroom. It was the room of a rich person AJ could tell. He was dressed in expensive suspenders and slacks with a white dress shirt on. Brian stood before him in tailored black trousers, and Elaina... Elaina wore a sunflower yellow dress.

“Forget about them Alexander! My parents and Carmen no longer exist to me, Elaina is my world! Alexander, we want to be married and be happy together. I don’t want to be forced to marry someone I don’t love!”

AJ had never seen Brian look so passionate about anything in the half a decade he had known him, not even Leighanne. “What about Nathaniel?”

“Nate knows he’s welcome to come with us,” Brian said still looking abdamnt, “Alexander, I want to do this, I have never been more serious about anything in my life! Please!”

“Elaina, how do you feel about this? You’re both my friends and I see that you are not as enthusiastic about this, engagement, as William is.” AJ studied Elaina. Her ethereal beauty seemed to radiate from her as she stood, looking so small nex to William. It wasn’t just her outside appearance that made her appealing, but it was her inner beauty that drew a man to her. She was such a pure soul, and right now, she looked guilty.

“Of course Elaina wants this,” Brian said eagerly for her, “and Nathaniel has already agreed to drive us to the docks.”

AJ watched at the way Elaina cringed when Nathaniel’s name was said. As he suspected... What had he suspected? AJ was confused, in this odd dream he was himself, but he was also this odd character Alexander. He felt Alexander’s consciousness at the edge of his mind. AJ gasped as he realized what Alexander was suspecting! Elaina was in love... but it wasn’t with William-0r Brian...

Chapter 7

“AJ! AJ, man wake up,” AJ felt hands shaking him. He slowly opened his eyes to see Howie peering at him, “I can’t believe you fell asleep here.”

AJ, startled, began to look around and take in his surroundings. He was sitting in the audience in the front row. The lights on stage were out and the stage crew and band were gone. “Where did the girl go?” AJ asked shaking his head. He didn’t remember sitting down and going to sleep.

“Girl?” Howie laughed, “Oh man AJ, you’re really missing Amanda aren’t you?”

AJ showed Howie teeth, he was sick of Howie’s puns at his faithfulness. AJ was a good guy, he wasn’t gonna cheat on Amanda while she was away from him, “Seriously Howie, what happened to the girl that was just here?”

“AJ, are you ok?” Howie now looked concerned, “Please don’t tell me you’re sick too.” Howie placed his hand on AJ’s forehead. AJ pushed Howie’s hand away.

“Huh? No, I’m not sick...” Sick too? That’s when AJ fully took in the situation. He glanced at his watch. It was only 6:30 pm... They usually practiced unitl 9 or 10. It seriously seemed as if this practice was over, “Howie, why is practice over so early?” AJ stood up and scanned the room for the other guys.

“Nick’s not feeling too good, he kind of blacked out on us. Mike let us have the day off so he could rest up before the show,” Howie said.

“Is he ok?” AJ was concerned.

Howie nodded, “Yeah, he just needs to lie down for awhile and drink some fluids. It kind of scared me though. It scared everyone, but Nicky laughed at us. That made us feel a little better, if not insulted.”

AJ followed Howie as he walked back onto the stage. In the backstage area AJ saw Nick resting on the red couch with Kevin pressing him to drink water from a twisty straw from a sports cup. Brian was perched next to him looking worried, “I wish you would let us call a doctor, a real one.”

Nick shot Brian a glare and stopped drinking, “I don’t need a doctor. I’m just tired, it’s hot, and my head hurts.”

“For two days?” Brian argued.

“Look, if it doesn’t stop tomorrow, I promise I’ll let you call a doctor, ok?” Nick looked pained and pale. He raised his head and noticed AJ and Howie for the first time, “Morning Sleeping Beauty.”

AJ groaned, “I knew that was coming. You ok lil’ bro?” AJ sat on the other side of him and ruffled his hair.

Nick nodded, then flinched, “Oh, damn that hurts!”

“Lets get out of here,” Kevin said clapping his hands and standing up. Brian and AJ helped Nick to stand. Nick wobbled a bit, and Kevin reached out to steady him. Howie grabbed Nick’s water and towel along with his own. Slowly the Boys vacated the concert venue to go back to their hotel.

Chapter 8

“Nathaniel is going to drive around and flash the headlights twice at us so we will know it is him,” Brian told Elaina, holding her shaking hands. She was so afraid. She hadn’t told her parents. She had arrived by the swamp in the designated place promptly on time. Brian had been there to hug and kiss her for going through with the escapade despite her fears. She had proved her love for him! Brian took her small delicately sewn and beaded cloth bag from her and carried it along with his small suitcase. Nathaniel would send more things to them later. Brian vaguely remembered suggesting that Nathaniel come along. He realized that in the next few years Nathaniel was going to be the one married off to another blue blood. He hated thinking about leaving Nate behind.

A weak beam of light broke through the darkness between the trees, twice. “It’s Nate!” Brian took her small hand in his once again, and began to guide her to the car. The car was an authentic 1920s car. It was black in the night, but Brian knew that when the sun hit it, it was a light robin’s egg blue.

Brian quickly opened the backdoor for Elaina letting her get into the backseat. He set the bags beside her in the seat. He shut the door, and got into the passenger seat. “Thank you Nate.” Brian said turning to face his friend for the first time, and Brian gasped. The real Brian gasped, the dream Brian-0r William- smiled. Nathaniel looked just like... Nathaniel was Nick. His blond hair fell gently into his eyes, and he wore the same kind of clothes Brian was wearing.

“Your welcome,” Nick/Nathaniel said with an easy smile. He gently slid the car in gear and they began to drive, “It is a shame I won’t be there to be your witness for your wedding.”

Brian felt the sadness wash over him, “Nathaniel, won’t you come with us?”

Nick bit his lip, he looked wistful. He also looked a little guilty, “ I‘m sorry, Will. I am the only son of Martin and Daphne Andreas. Alas, I am to carry on the Andreas name.”

Brian laughed at Nick’s mock tone of despair. He had even thrown the back of his hand over his forehead for the total damsel effect. ‘O woe as me.’

The drive was long and uneventful. The car soon lasped into a nervous silence. Nick drove carefully and as quick as the little car would carry them. Soon the docks were in eye view.

The boat could be seen too. Nick let them off where other passengers were being dropped off. He got out of the car and hugged both Brian and Elaina.

“You two behave...” He turned away as tears began to spill from his eyes, “Don’t forget me Will, you have to promise you won’t!”

“I could never forget you Nate!” Brian spoke giving Nick another firm hug. A foghorn from the boat bellowed startling Elaina, “We have to go, now.”

Nick sniffled and nodded. Elaina gave him one last hug, and a small kiss on the cheek. They gazed at each other, a little longer than Brian would have liked. Nick pulled away and turned to face the car, “Good luck you two. I love you.”

“I love you little brother,” Brian felt himself saying, and meaning it. The feeling came not only from William, but from himself. He took Elaina’s bag and her hand, “Are you ready darling?”

Elaina looked up into his face, her beautiful features smiled at him, “Yes, Love, I’m ready.”

Brian and Elaina began walking to the boarding docks. Brian turned to take one last look at Nick who was growing smaller and smaller by the distance Brian was putting between them. Bye Nathaniel...

Brian groaned as the phone rang and jarred him out of his latest dream. He had wanted to see what was going to happen on the boat. He answered the phone with a gruff, “Hello?”

“Brian?”

Oh man, it was Leighanne.

“Uh... hi Leigh,” Brian sat up in bed with a grunt and ran a hand through his hair. It was damp from a night sweat.

“Are you ok?” her tone was concerned and warm.

That last dream was still holding on to him. He was piecing together the events of his dream like a daytime soap opera. “Um... yeah, you just woke me up, that’s all.” Well, that was the truth.

“Oh, I’m sorry. What time is it there?”

Brian checked the clock beside his bed and grinned sheepishly, “8:00 am.”

“Brian Thomas Littrell, you should be up already!”

Brian laughed into the phone, “I know, I know, I was going to get up.”

“So how is everything going? Are you guys ready for the show tonight? Are you excited?”

“Hey slow down Leigh! I’m fine. Yes we are ready for the show, and yes I am exited.. But not about the show...”

There was a soft giggle from Leighanne, “I’ll be there sooner than you think Bri-bear, be patient.”

“But I miss my huggy-buggy!” Brian pretended to whine. The door to his room opened a crack and some outside light spilled in, “Hey, would it offend you guys to knock before entering my room?” Brian asked this kind of irritably. He had just woken up, he had another weird dream about a woman that wasn’t his girlfriend, and now he was talking to his girlfriend on the phone! He didn’t need another distraction. The door opened a little more and Nick slipped in and shut the door behind him.

“I saw her Bri,” he simply said sitting down at the foot of Brian’s bed.

“Huh?” Brian looked at Nick dumbfounded.

“Brian?” came Leighanne’s voice over the phone, “Is someone in there with you?”

“Yeah, its just Frack. Say hi Frack.”

“Hi Frack,” Nick said in a high pitched silly voice.

Brian swatted him with his pillow, “He says hi. Listen Leigh, I don’t mean to cut this short, but I have to go.”

“Go? Now? But I just called! I won’t even get to talk to you for the rest of the day!” Leighanne’s voice was sad.

Brian sighed deeply, “I’m sorry babe, its just... I’ll tell you what, keep your cell on, and I’ll call you right before the show,” Brian promised.

“You don’t have to Bri, I understand if you’re busy today. I can try to call you tomorrow. When are you guys leaving in the morning?”

“Early,” Brian winced.

Leighanne laughed lightly, “Give the guys my love.”

“I will,” Brian said, his voice almost choking up. She was so good. It had been awhile since Brian had a girl that was sympathetic to his busy schedule.

“I love you Brian.”

“I love you too Leigh.”

They disconnected. Nick was sticking his finger down his throat at the mush. Brian swatted him with the pillow again, “You saw her?”

Nick blinked, “Huh? Oh, oh yeah. I saw her when I woke up this morning.”

“Where was she at?” Brian asked sliding off his bed and stretching. Nick was strangely quiet, and a small frown was on his face, “Nick?”

Nick looked up at Brian, “She was in my room.”

“How did she get in there? What did she want?”

Again Nick was quiet and detached seeming. He rubbed his temples, “Um... I don’t know, she was just there. She was sitting in a chair in the corner of my room. I don’t know how long she had been there. All I know is I woke up, and she was there! She was just watching me, and when she noticed I was awake... She looked so afraid, she started apologizing.. She has this accent that I know I’ve heard before...”

“She was in your room watching you?” Brian looked at Nick and took him by the shoulders, “Nick, do you know her?”

Nick shook his head negatively, “No, not at all.. But like you, I feel like I should. The way she looked at me I will never forget... I can’t even describe it, but it made me feel special, but at the same time it hurt. It was like wanting something you can never have, and knowing you can never have it.” He bowed his blond head onto his knees.

Brian frowned, “I had another dream last night.”

Nick sniffled, “About her?”

“Yeah, she and I were eloping... And Nick, you were in it too, you helped us,” Brian said.

“Great, so now you’re dreaming about me too...” His voice trailed off into a cough.

“Oh shut your hole. It wasn’t all romantic or anything. It was like a real event happening,” Brian scratched his head, “I could actually smell the ocean and feel the wind on the docks.”

“Brian, do you listen to yourself lately?” Nick asked.

“Yeah, I know I sound nuts, but hey, you have to admit something weird’s going on here... And did you call security about her being in your room?”

Nick looked shocked, “No, why would I do that? She wasn’t doing anything bad.”

“Nick, girls are not supposed to be able to get keys to our rooms,” Brian explained this to him slowly. 

Nick grinned just as slowly, “ Should I be bothered by this? I mean, you don’t want her. I think she’s hot, and she obviously has something for me.”

Brian wanted to shake him. In fact he did, and he took pleasure in seeing Nick’s wicked smile fall off his face, “Nickolas, what don’t you get? She was practically trying to eat me alive the day before and claiming to dream about me... And now she’s in your room?!” Brian popped Nick in the back of the head softly, “Think about it!” Brian threw himself backward into his pillows with a frustrated groan. She was just a fan... A crazy sex crazed fan, that Brian had weird fantasies about! She was stalking him, and when she couldn’t get to Brian the easy way, she tries to go through his little brother! What was going on? What was happening to him? Who was this girl? Brian glanced at Nick who was still and rubbing his temples again. “Nickolas, please tell me that headache is not still there.”

“Did you have to shake me?” Nick demanded angrily, his voice was unsteady, “I think... I think...” He stood up and took a deep breath, “No... I’m gonna be sick.” He rushed into Brian’s bathroom slamming the door behind him.

Brian sat in his bed biting his nails. Stalking fans, scary dreams, and a puking Nick in my bathroom, what next?

“Hey Brian, wake up! You’ll never guess who we’re having breakfast with...The Spice Girls!” AJ burst into his room, “You know, I still wonder how old they all really are... Are you ok?” He looked at Brian and then at the bathroom. Someone was hurling his guts up. Nick came out of the bathroom pale and shaky, running his hands through his hair, “Hi Alex.”

AJ stared at him, “Dude, you look like hell. Are you ok?”

Nick nodded, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just worry about Rok, he’s still having dreams about beautiful girls.”

AJ cocked an eyebrow at Brian looking interested. He made a flying leap onto the bed causing Brian to bounce, “Do tell. Was it your girl again?”

Brian rolled his eyes and growled with annoyance, “I’m calling security.”

“Oh come on Rok, I’m not annoying you that bad,” AJ jumped off the bed and held out his hands in an ‘I mean no harm’ gesture. He looked at Brian’s steely _expression, then at Nick’s concerned one.

“Brian, you’re upset...”

“She was in your freakin’ room Nick!” Brian yelled.

“Who was in Nick’s room?” Now Kevin was in the room.

“Oh GREAT!” Brian yelled, “Why don’t we just invite the whole 5^th floor to my room this morning! Why not? The door’s always open, and anybody can get a key to come into your room if they like!”

“Why’s Brian yelling?” Howie poked his head inside, and Brian began laughing hysterically. “Is he ok?”

“Brian what’s the matter with you,” Kevin grabbed Brian by the arms and sat him up straight. Brian stopped laughing at once, and looked into Kevin’s green eyes in shock, “Sorry.”

“What’s going on?” Howie asked, he sat down in a chair, “Why are you acting like a psychopath, Bri?”

Brian looked at them each in turn, then sighed, “Would you all stop staring at me!”

Everyone’s eyes downcast.

Brian almost laughed, “I have just been having some strange dreams about that girl I met a day ago, and she really came onto me. I think she’s a fan, a stalker. This morning she was in Nick’s room! He just woke up, and she was there staring at him!”

Everyone’s head whipped towards Nick, who had taken a seat on the floor by the television. He had flipped through the stations until he found a cartoon. It was in French, but it was still a cartoon. “She wasn’t doing anything, and I think she’s cute. She may be a crazy fan, but I like her, and she can come in my room whenever she wants to!”

“Nick,” Kevin sounded aghast, “I should call your mother and have you repeat what you just said.”

“Kev, why are you always such a drag?” Nick groaned laying out on the floor and twisting around until he was comfortable.

“Nick, why are you always so immature?” Kevin barked back at him, “I’m going to tell Mike to get more body guards up here, and I’m calling security. Nick, stay out of that room for now. We’re only gonna be here one more night, but we may have to get you a new room. We may all have to get new rooms!”

“But my Nintendo and my Dreamcast!!” Nick shot up to his feet in a flash.

“Somebody will bring that and the rest of your stuff. Brian, you don’t mind if Nick’s in here do you?” Kevin looked warily at his small cousin who had been silent.

Brian shook his head, “He shouldn’t be playing video games anyway. He’s still got that..”

“Brian shut up!” Nick snapped.

“... headache. It won’t go away. It’s doctor time, Nick,” Brian looked at his friend, who was fuming, as the others looked at him in shock.

“You weren’t going to say anything about it?” Howie asked moving closer to Nick and touching his forehead, “You’re warm too. I think he’s got a fever.”

Nick was being led to Brian’s bed, as Brian was getting out and smoothing the covers so Nick could lay down. “Man, I’m not a baby!” Nick fought at Howie and Kevin, “I’m fine! Leave me alone!”

“You’re fine? Is that why when I came in here you were puking your guts out?” AJ asked helping the others shove Nick on the bed. Howie was calling the hotel doctor on the hotel phone. Kevin was calling management and security on his cell phone. Nick had his arms folded over his chest angrily, and he was pouting. AJ chuckled at him, “So, what does Brian’s dream girl look like Nicky?”

Nick’s wicked blue eyes met AJ’s brown ones, “Well, first, she’s...”

“Nick!” Brian snapped, “I don’t want to hear about her, ok. Too many weird dreams, and too many weird experiences...”

“Weird experiences?” AJ grinned wickedly again, “Care to elaborate on that one, Rok?”

Brian shoved AJ back, but he was smiling, “Later, Bone.”

“The doctor says he’ll be up in 30 minutes, so everybody better get dressed. Nick, I’ll personally walk you to your room,” Howie said.

Nick frowned yet again, but instead of a negative reply he got off the bed.

Chapter 9

“Well Mr. Carter, it looks like the flu,” the doctor said putting away his stethoscope.

“Can he still perform?” Mike asked immediately. Brian shot him a look, as did the doctor.

“It depends on how he’s feeling. I wouldn’t recommend it though,” the doctor said handing Mike a slip of paper, “I am going to my office to print up some prescriptions and that is the name of the pharmacy where you can pick the medication up at. The directions will be on the label.” Then he turned back to Nick, “Try to get as much rest as possible.”

Once the doctor was gone, Mike went on a rampage, “You couldn’t have waited a few more weeks to get sick!” Mike was still grumbling as he fished in his pockets for his cell phone. After his call he told the Boys he was going out to pick up Nick’s prescription, and that they had better keep an eye on him.

Security checked over the hotel’s perimeters for a girl named Elaina that fit Brian’s description while the Boys were assigned new hotel quarters.

“Nick, do you want a room to yourself, or do you want to room with one of us?” Kevin asked casually as he watched the hotel manager type in their orders for new rooms.

Nick shrugged and sighed wearily, “I don’t care Kev, if it makes you guys feel better to know that I am rooming with one of you, then fine.”

“Nick and I will share a room,”Brian said quickly. Brian realized that he didn’t want himself to be in a room alone either, but how could he explain that to the guys?

Kevin looked at him doubtfully, “Brian, I don’t want to hear video game music burbling through those walls all night because you two are up playing video games.”

“Kev, we won’t,” Brian groaned, “I promise I’ll make him go to bed at 8, and I’ll even tuck him in, and make sure he brushes his teeth.”

“Brian!” Nick shouted in protest, “I might as well call my mother and tell her I need her!”

Brian chuckled, “Mommy.” He mocked Nick, and Nick popped in the head. Brian continued making mocking noises.

Kevin sighed deeply, “Ok, only four rooms, make one a double suite.”

“Man Brian, if you want to start fights with people bigger than you are that’s you, just leave me out of it,” AJ laughed trying to dart away from Brian who was trying to use AJ as a blocker from Nick who was trying to get him.

“Nick, Brian, stop playing around. Here is your room key, Nick go lie down. Does everyone have their carry-on with clothes for the next day and toothbrushes?” Kevin handed both Nick and Brian room cards.

Everyone nodded, “Good, cause Mike already had the rest of our stuff shipped onto the tour bus.”

“My Sega?”

“It’s in your carry-on bag unfortunately... I wonder how it got there,” Kevin gave Brian an evil look, and Brian grinned slyly at him.

As it turned out, Brian didn’t have to force Nick into bed, he just climbed in and was out like a light. Brian stared at French talk shows for 3 hours. Their show that night wasn’t until 7, and they didn’t need to be at the venue until 5. Brian glanced at the digital clock on the night stand beside Nick’s bed. It said it was only 10 am. The others had gone on to have breakfast with the “Girl Power Team.” Brian groaned, what was he going to do until show time? He got up, and walked around to the window. He raised the blinds slightly, careful not to wake Nick.

She wore a long flowing cotton skirt and a creme colored blouse. Brian gapped at seeing her again, in the flesh. Should he call security and let them know where she was? Brian tapped the glass gently with his fingers and heard Nick moan and shift in bed. Brian broke his trance and turned to look at Nick who had rolled over, away from the window. Brian stopped tapping the glass. He looked out the window once more to make sure she was still sitting out there. There she was, sitting on the marble fountain. Brian could have sworn she had looked up and saw him too. This enraged him. Why was she playing with him? With them? She had dragged his little brother into this! Brian let the blinds drop and he hurried to the door that joined his and Nick’s rooms and yanked it open. He was going out there to talk to that girl. If she wanted something from Brian, then she would have to talk to Brian about it, stay away from his friends. He also wanted to know about the dreams... Maybe she could tell him something about them.

Chapter 10

“Brian,” she greeted him with a disarming smile that chilled and thrilled him to his very core. He drank in her rich appearance like a mug of hot chocolate layered with whip cream. No! Brian would not let himself fall for her attractiveness again. What was that song? “Don’t Want You Back”... He’d be another victim of her sexuality. He wondered how many people she had haunted with her astonishing good looks. He wondered if they dreamed about her too...

“Elaina,” he said briefly, coldly.

“You’re angry,” She stood to be eye to eye with him. She looked so innocent, like she had done nothing!

“Of course I’m angry, what were you thinking breaking into my friend’s room like that?” Brian demanded. He didn’t mean to explode at the girl, but once he had opened his mouth words just came blowing out.

“Going into your friend’s room?” Elaina looked puzzled, “I have not been anywhere I am not supposed to!” She tossed her head back proudly.

“My friend saw you,” Brian said with fire in his voice, “Look, I don’t know who you are, or what you want from me... But I don’t like it, and I would appreciate if you’d stay away from me and my friends..”

“But Brian, just yesterday you were so anxious to speak to me,” Elaina said batting her eyes and pressing herself against him. Her curves finding niches in places on Brian’s body that he didn’t know he had. Every inch of his flesh was screaming “Take her!” but Brian’s conscience was screaming equally as loud, “Leighanne!”

Brian tried unsuccessfully pushing her away but only found himself putting his hands in an even more awkward position. Somehow his hands had found their way to her bosom. He made no move to remove them, they simply sat there. Elaina smiled at the position of his hands, “You were saying?”

Brian stared at his hands and at her bosom that swelled with her every breath. He felt the satin of her hands caressing his cheekbones. He felt the warmth of her breath and her lips as they gently began to trace Brian’s fine facial bone structure. He sighed deeply and relaxed at her touch. It felt so good. He felt weak in the knees at the sweetness of her kisses, her lips tasted of sugar and cinnamon. He felt the wetness of the grass beneath them as they slowly sank to the ground. The kisses were long and slow, and always left Brian hungry for another kiss that was ever longer and slower. Her scent was of lilacs in the summer, her eyes were lode stars. His hands had discovered the loose strings that held Elaina’s blouse together. He ran his hands over them, before gently undoing them. He never watched her face, he was watching her bosom that was rising and falling revealing themselves to Brian with every loosening of the strings.

“That’s it William,” he heard her whisper, “This is how it should have been...”

“Huh?” William. The real world came crashing back down on Brian almost winding him. He fell away from Elaina to the ground gasping and trembling. He looked at her half clad figure and at the untidiness of his own clothing, “Oh my God... Oh my God!” Brian was close to hyperventilating, What had just happened? Oh God... He stared at her fearfully, as she stared back at him with amusement in her brown eyes, “You’re almost ready,” she spoke to him softly.

“I’m almost ready? I’m almost ready for what? What happened? You called me William! Why? What do you know about that?” Brian was firing furious questions left and right at the girl who only smiled enchantingly.

“You’ll find out Brian,” Elaina said with a purr, “Until then...” She backed through the hedges, past the fountain.

“No!” Brian yelled and tried to pursue her, but she was gone. How did she get away so fast? Brian cursed himself for being so stupid. He should never have come downstairs he should have called security. Security! They would have found her and know some information about her now! Brian ran excitedly into the hotel. Once he got to the main desk he began to hit the bell impatiently trying to get some assistance. “Yes?” an irritable clerk arrived at the desk speaking English with a heavy French accent.

“May I see security. I reported a girl earlier, and I just saw her. I want to know..”

“Are you the American that reported a stalker?” an official looking man stood behind Brian.

Brian jumped and turned around. Slowly he nodded, “Did you find anything?”

The officer laughed, “No, nothing at all. No young girl here named Elaina that fits your description of her. There hasn’t been one in months.”

“But, she said..”

“She may be just another obsessed fan who snuck into the hotel and..”

Brian nodded, “Ok. I just saw her a minute ago, outside.”

The officer looked mildly interested, “Mr. Littrell, your stay here is going to end shortly. Why don’t you give yourself a break, eh? Forget about the girl, she’ll be gone as soon as you leave town. Consider it a compliment.” The officer winked then walked off leaving Brian alone in the lobby with the clerk. Brian shrugged and sighed, she was more than an obsessed fan, and she scared him. He wanted to yell at the police, but there was no way he could possibly make them understand. There was something not right about Elaina, so not right it was almost unbelievable. A sudden clamp of hands on his shoulders brought Brian out of La La Land. He yelped and whirled around to see Nick in front of him.

“Nick! Why are you out of bed?” Brian was shocked, but that shock quicky transformed itself into reprimand.

Nick blinked, “Because you were gone, and you didn’t leave a note. I got lonely.”

Brian placed an arm around Nick’s slightly shivering shoulders, “Sorry, I had to see about some things.”

“Did you go see her again?” Nick yawned.

Brian gaped at him for a second before he nodded, “Yeah, how did you..?”

“Lucky guess,” Nick said, “Was she still hot as hell?”

Brian popped Nick across the forehead and left his hand there to register the heat coming from his friend’s skin, “Dang, she’s not as hot as you are, Frack. I gotta get you back to bed before Kevin comes and kicks my butt.

Chapter 11

“We’ve only got a few more numbers to go Nicky,” Howie said holding onto Nick’s shoulders tightly, “You can do it.” They were in Switzerland. The show was going great, the crowd had gotten a real kick out of seeing their Backstreet Boys flying above their heads. The next section was the slow songs. On stage Howie could hear the piano and saxophone, Kevin and Mindi, playing a beautiful duet together, under the stage Howie held a trembling Nick together. Performing sick for two straight weeks had really taken its toll on the kid. They had taken him to see another doctor since France, and she told them the same thing. It was the flu, they all said, but Nick wasn’t resting like he should be, and he wasn’t getting enough vitamins. On the road there really wasn’t much time for sleep, but the guys did try to go easier on him. Mike still rode him like a workhorse though.

The stage call was on. Howie gave Nick’s shoulders a squeeze and began to climb the stairs that led to the stage. AJ patted Nick’s back and led him up the stairs with Brian following. As they all took the stage Howie braced himself for the screams of acknowledgment. He smiled brightly and greeted the audience again. They all took a seat around the piano and Kevin, and as Kevin played they sang “Back To Your Heart.” Nick’s solos were weak, as they had been for the last few concerts. All the coughing and the sore throat was really getting to him and affecting his voice. Brian or AJ covered for him often. The fans were sympathetic. Kevin had announced that Nick was under the weather earlier that night, and asked the fans to be gentle on their criticisms of his vocal abilities.

Howie really had to admire the way Nick stuck to it. He knew he had a job to do, and he did it the best he could. He hadn’t asked to be cut out of any dance moves, or any vocals, he just did what he was supposed to. There were times when Howie thought he was gonna die of exhaustion on stage from dancing so hard. Kevin was often scolding Nick for overdoing it. He wanted to prove to everyone that he was ok. He couldn’t stand being ill and needing others to help him, or treat him differently. In a lot of ways he shut everyone out, even Brian.

Howie glanced over to Brian on the opposite side of the stage dancing playfully with one of the dancers. Brian was different too. Ever since they had left France, he seemed odd. Howie wondered if it was Leighanne. Leighanne had joined them a few days ago. They didn’t seem to be arguing, but something seemed amiss between them. Brian had changed in Howie’s eyes, not so much where it was noticeable, but something was different. There was something that Brian was keeping hidden from everyone.

AJ bumped Howie as he danced by and went to join Nick on his side of the stage. The two then engaged themselves into some very provocative dances with the female dancers. Howie grinned at the two, and then also grinned when Kevin scooted across the stage to shake his head at Nick. Nick stuck out his tongue, and continued on with his dance.

By the end of the night the crowd was hyped and still chanting and the Boys were out of encores. “That was a really good show,” Dennis, the keyboard player commented laughing, “I thought they were going to raid the stage. Did anyone else catch a bra between the eyes?”

AJ laughed, “Almost, it hit my cheek.”

“Come on guys, we gotta go see some fans,” Kevin said tossing AJ a towel, “Where’s Nick?”

“Here...” Nick croaked weakly, he was lying on a small couch, Leighanne was rubbing his back.

“Do you want to come, or do you want to rest?”     

Nick groaned and lay his head down, another coughing spell shook his body as Leighanne winced and continued to rub his back, “I’m afraid they’ll catch my germs.”

“Stay here then,” AJ said, “I’ll tell all the girls that...”

“Oh man!” Nick sat upright, “I’m comin’, I’m comin’!”

“There is no way in hell you are going anywhere else but to bed, Mr. Carter,” AJ’s mother, Denise informed Nick. Denise had also recently flew in to be with the band.

“But AJ..”

“Alexander is not going to tell anyone anything but the truth, isn’t that right?” Denise looked at AJ sternly. AJ groaned and lowered his head with a nod, “Yes Ma’am. I was only playing with him.”

“Brian, are you going to come straight back after the fan meeting?” Leighanne looked at Brian with such longing. She didn’t want to return to their room in the hotel alone. Brian had been so distant lately, and she wanted to know what was wrong. There was scarcely any time she could talk to him because they were so busy. Brian just seemed preoccupied with something else, so preoccupied that even his sleep was interrupted. Leighanne stopped trying to ask what the dreams were about because he would never tell her, but she knew they bothered him deeply.

Brian turned to stare at her briefly, “Um... Yeah, sure Leigh. I’ll come right back to you.” He gave her a smile. A smile, not his smile. Brian’s smiles seemed so forced, even at Leighanne. Leighanne wondered if there was another woman. No that’s silly, Brian would never cheat on her. If there was one thing to love about Brian it was his morals. Leighanne sighed deeply, what could be wrong with her man? Was she not making him happy enough? Leighanne had thought the relationship was going well. She put one hand under chin and took on an _expression of deep thought that was interrupted by Nick sitting up with her hand still resting on his back.

“I can keep you company until he comes back Leigh,” Nick said with a smile. Leighanne observed his pale drawn face, his eyes featuring dark rings beneath them. He had lost weight.

“Nick, you just want to come in my room so I can massage your back some more! And when’s the last time you’ve eaten?” Leighanne took on a motherly tone.

Nick rolled his eyes, but Denise sat down beside Leighanne and Nick to further pursue Leighanne’s question, “When was the last time you ate anything for real Nick?”

Nick frowned, “I don’t know, yesterday...” he trailed off letting them know that it may have been even longer than that.

“Ok, we’re going to take you back to the hotel and feed you first,” Leighanne said checking off an imaginary list. Nick pouted, “And then can I get another back massage? It’s killin’ me.”

Leighanne and Denise laughed at him and helped him up.

Chapter 12

Brian thought that meeting would never end. He was sincere and polite to the fans, as always, but right then he didn’t want to be there. He also didn’t want to go back to that hotel room and have to face Leighanne. Every time he looked at her, he saw Elaina’s fresh face. He remembered the touch of her skin, the scent of her body... It was too much for Brian to bear, not to mention the nightly dreams he had about her. Each dream was out of chronological order. Sometimes Brian saw himself in Paris, sometimes he saw himself back in the swamps. AJ and Nick, though known as Nathaniel and Alexander, were frequent visitors in his dreams. He had met William’s parents and acquaintances, but he had still yet to meet William’s fiancé, Carmen. The one he ran away from. He got the impression that she wasn’t a very pleasant person, but he was still a little anxious to meet her. Brian had taken to writing down his every dream in a logbook that he had purchased in Paris. Brian put both of his hands to his head, and slumped in his corner of the limousine. The stress of it all was getting to be too much. How did this Elaina fit into everything? She looked exactly like the girl from his dreams, and called herself by the same name. She knows Brian and claimed to have dreams too. She had mentioned the word soul mates. Is that what they were, soul mates? Brian knew for a fact that he was definitely attracted to her, as he is to the girl in his dreams. He could feel the arousal of feelings stirring for her in himself and from William. The only thing that plagued him was that though Elaina looked like the girl from his dreams, she sure didn’t act like her. His dream girl was so shy and sweet, that other one was compulsive and very direct. Maybe it had something to do with it being the 90's... But then dream world Nick/ Nathaniel acted the same as the real Nick would have in the 20's, and so did Alexander/ AJ. Brian even discovered a lot of himself in William.

I am taking this so easy, Brian thought to himself. He had maybe stumbled upon the answer to one of the biggest most scariest questions in human existence... Is there life after death? There must be, since Brian had obviously once been this William person, and the girl had been his lover Elaina. Brian slumped lower in his corner and felt an elbow in his rib cage, “Ow! What?” Brian snapped. Howie looked taken aback, “Sorry. Are you ok, Bri? I can’t help but notice that you seem a little depressed.”

Brian grunted and looked out the window, “I’m fine, just tired.”

“You and Leighanne aren’t having problems are you?” Kevin put his hand on Brian’s shoulder, “Because if you are, you can always talk to us about it. It won’t bother us one bit to listen to what you have to say.”

Brian felt a laugh building inside him. They thought his problem was with Leighanne! If it were only that simple! Brian had to bit his lower lip to hold in his “Ha, ha”’s because if he had laughed the others would have thought he was crazy. “Thanks.. Uh, Kev, guys, but Leighanne’s not the problem.”

“Well then it’s you, because she came to me crying last night,” AJ quipped, “She actually thought that you were seeing somebody else. And you know what, I didn’t tell her this but... you are.”

“What?” Brian almost choked on his own saliva, “I have not!” Nobody ever accused Brian of being unfaithful, especially to Leighanne, whom he held strong feelings for.

“I seem to remember a certain town in France, the first night we arrived... You were diggin’ some girl, and you have never been the same since!”

“Are you saying that I am seeing that girl behind Leighanne’s back?! For your information I’ve only seen her twice, and that was in France!” Brian was trying to rise from his seat, but Kevin held him in place.

“Ok, AJ, knock it off,” Kevin said testily, then to Brian, “Brian we have all noticed a change in you, and Nick tells us that you still dream about this girl, often.”

“WHAT? Why that sneaky little rat, I thought he would keep his mouth shut!” Brian’s hands were clenched into fists. He felt betrayed.

“Brian, he’s just worried about you, we all are,” Howie said softly, “We only want to help you, and you won’t come clean with us. What’s going on with you?”

Brian hit the window with the palm of his hands bleakly, “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try us.”

Brian stared at the three adamant faces surrounding him and sighed, “You’ll only think I’m crazy, but here goes...” It took ten minutes for Brian to tell his story about dreams of past lives and Elaina, Nathaniel, and Alexander. It took another ten to make the others stop looking at him like he was insane... Well, only Howie and Kevin, AJ just got this odd look on his face.

“Brian, have you ever thought that maybe this Elaina is just a figment of your imagination?” Howie asked gently.

“No! I’ve seen her, touched her,” Brian added the “touch” part more softly but with more emphasis. “Nick’s seen her!”

“Brian, Nick had to be running a fever over 102E the day he said he saw that girl in his room,” Kevin said softly.

“Yeah, but he wasn’t irrational, and he saw her that first day we were in town. Remember when we were all in his room, and me and him were looking out the window. He saw her!” Brian was beginning to sound whiny.

Howie and Kevin only looked at him with concern, “Bri, Nick wasn’t in the best shape that day. Remember we had to send him back to the hotel to rest. Maybe he said he saw her because you did. You placed that thought in his mind.”

Brian only groaned and hit the window pane again, harder this time, “Damn it! She was there!”

“Ok, ok calm down Brian , we believe you,” Howie said calmly reaching out to touch Brian’s arm, and shooting Kevin a worried look. Kevin acknowledged him with a look that said we’ll talk later.

“You do not!” Brian grumbled angrily, “You see why I didn’t want to tell you! Damn Nick for opening his big mouth, I’ll never tell him anything again!”

“Hold on, don’t blame this on Nick. He only wanted to help,” Kevin said, “Look, when we get back to the hotel you can all come to my room, and we’ll discuss this. I mean, there are some wonderful people around here that you can talk to Brian, and I bet we can find a really nice...”

“A SHRINK! You want me to see a freakin’ P- psychiatrist?! Are you out of your minds? I mean you obviously think I am, but this is crazy! I don’t need a shrink!”

“Brian, there is obviously a problem going on in your head. Maybe a therapist can help. It’s become apparent to us that you can’t fix this problem yourself, and it’s hurting your relationship with Leighanne and your performance.”

“Oh, is that what this is about? Am I not singing and dancing up to your standards Kevin? Well even if I am not up to my top standard I sure as hell must put on a better performance than you! Nick’s voice is shot and does anyone ever think to give any of the solos he can’t do to you Kev? No! They always come to me or AJ, or sometimes even Howie! So you are the last person that can say anything about anyone else’s performance!” Brian screamed, he knew he was out of line, but Kevin and the others had hurt him. He just wanted to hurt back just as viciously.

Kevin blinked, the hurt in his eyes apparent, but so was the anger, “That was uncalled for,” Howie said in Kevin’s defense.

“What you guys just said was uncalled for! Have you spoken to Leighanne about this? Does she agree with you guys? What about Nick, does he know? This is a freakin’ conspiracy! A conspiracy put together by the few people that I trust the most in the world! I can’t freakin’ believe this!” Brian felt the tears stinging in his eyes. He suddenly thrust himself forward to beat on the small window separating them from the driver. He hit the intercom, “Pull over Jean, I want out.”

“What?” Kevin shrieked, “No, keep going Jean! Are you crazy?”

“Well you think I am, so let me prove it to you! Pull over Jean, or I swear I will open this door and jump out while the car’s still moving!”

Everyone was yelling and cursing at one another. Howie and Kevin were struggling with Brian in the seat trying to hold him down. Brian was screaming and actually biting them. AJ sat kind of quiet in his own little world.

“Damn it AJ, help us out here!” Kevin growled. AJ shook his head and blinked, he noticed the quarrel for the first time, and quickly lent Kevin and Howie a hand. Brian gave up after a 4 minute struggle that crippled him of all energy. He had been exhausted after the show, and now this. He sat back in his seat strapped down with not only his seat belt, but Kevin’s arm.

“Now that you have decided to act civilized,” Kevin said to Brian in a cool voice, “we will tell you that we have not told anyone else that we thought you may need help. This is between us, and stays between us unless you want to take it further.”

Brian glared at them all, and turned his face to the window and stared outside into the gloom for the duration of the trip. He needed to talk to a certain blond that couldn’t hold water!

Chapter 13

Brian vacated the limo before it had even stopped and rushed through the glass double doors of their latest hotel. He got some rather curious stares from the doormen and other passers-by. He didn’t care, he had to get upstairs. He could hear the voices of the others calling him back and telling him to slow down. Brian took the stairs to avoid the hassle of waiting for the elevator. He did not want the guys to catch up with him.

People, luggage, and furniture provided obstacles in the others’ path, so that slowed them down. Brian had passed the third floor mark before he heard the door to the stairwell open again and heard Kevin’s voice yelling. Brian quickened his pace and escaped through the door marked fourth floor. They were staying on the seventh floor, but he was a sitting duck on the staircase. At least on the floor he could hide. He ran straight down one hall and dove for the elevator. He kept scanning behind him for the others, but didn’t see them. The elevator dinged, and slowly the doors opened. Brian silently thanked God, then stepped into the elevator not even glancing up to see his companion in the car with him. “Could you press six please?” Brian said politely.

“Sure I can,” the voice said softly with a gentle accent. It was as fresh and musical as a flute. The smell of lilacs tickled in his nostrils. He glanced up dreadfully, and looked into the beautiful face that he dreamed about at night.

“What are you doing here?”

Chapter 14

Kevin threw the door open to Nick’s room. Howie and AJ stood behind him ready to tackle Brian to the floor if needed, “Brian, we know you’re in...!” Kevin trailed off as he saw only a very lavish, spacious room that contained two people, and none of those people were Brian. If looks could kill Kevin Richardson and his two sidekicks Howard Dorough and Alexander James McLean would be resting in peace right then. Denise McLean was not happy with their entrance. She sat on the king-size bed with a large wrapped bundle in her lap, covering its ears from the cacophony, “Get out,” she said tersely. AJ gasped and jumped out of the door of that room like it was on fire. Howie and Kevin were slower to back out of the room. They stood calmly outside the door with AJ saying his prayers. His mother was going to chew him up and spit him out. A few moments later Denise joined them outside the room and she closed the door until only a crack could be seen. “What was that?”

“Um...”

“Do you know how long it took me to get that boy to sleep?” Denise growled, “Now what was the cause of that? It is impolite to kick open doors to other people’s rooms yelling like idiots! Maybe you guys could do that before, but if you haven’t noticed that child is very sick and exhausted.” Denise wrung her hands, “Do you know what his temperature was after the show?- 102.7E!” She took a deep breath and appeared to be calming herself, “Explain yourselves. Where’s Brian?”

AJ sighed and looked down at his feet. Both Kevin and Howie were looking at him expectantly since it was his mother. AJ raised his eyes to meet his mother’s angry flashing ones, “It’s Bri, Mom. We think he’s gone off the deep end He keeps mooning over this girl that..” AJ paused, he was going to say doesn’t exist... He couldn’t say that, because he wasn’t all that sure if he disbelieved Brian. Those dreams Brian described, AJ had experienced one just like it a few weeks ago. It had felt real enough... and hey, maybe even AJ had seen the girl too. What was her name? Elaina. AJ felt guilty for not mentioning it in the car, but the others would have thought he was crazy too. Was he crazy? The story certainly sounded crazy enough.

“Alexander?” Denise pressed.

“Oh... he’s just acting really really strange, and we confronted him about it, and he freaked out. He ran away from us, and we figured he was gonna run in here,” AJ finished lamely, and earned himself some odd looks from Howie and Kevin. He looked at the green carpet beneath his feet instead of at them. Denise cupped his face in her hands and was raising his eyes to meet hers, “Are you telling me everything, Alex?”

AJ nodded quickly, too quickly. Too many troubled memories were pouring into his consciousness, as they had been in the limo, when Brian told them about his dreams and described the girl. Denise set her jaw to continue the cross-examination, but a soft moan from inside the room sent her through Nick’s door in an instant, “You woke him up!”

AJ leaned his back on the wall and let his head rest back on it. He felt the heat of both Kevin and Howie staring at him, “What was that AJ?”

“What was what?” he asked irritably.

“It sounded like you were covering for Brian,” Kevin said.

“How can I cover for Brian?” AJ shrugged standing up straight, “I just said what needed to be said. There’s no sense in letting my mother think he’s crazy.” Before Howie could say his comment, AJ followed in his mother’s path to the room.

Nick was lying partially in Denise’s lap again. Denise was running her fingers through his wet hair. AJ approached the bed slowly. Denise looked up at him with reprimand, “Go to bed Alexander.”

AJ knew that she had nothing more to say to him unless he had more to say to her. She always knew when he was hiding something from her. AJ hated doing it, too. He sighed heavily, and kissed his mother on the cheek, “Good night Mom.”

“Good night Alex.”

“What. Are. You. Doing. Here?” Each word was bit off. Brian stood with his fist clenched and pressed against the wall of the elevator as far away from Elaina as he could get.

“Why, Brian, I thought you’d want to see me,” Elaina gave him a sexy smirk, she edged closer to him. Brian wanted to melt a hole in the wall behind him and jump out. He made a lunge for the elevator door and tried to pry it open. He didn’t care if they were between floors, he would climb down the elevator cables. He felt her small hands on his back, massaging it.

“Stop it,” he hissed.

“Stop what Brian, you always used to like it when I did this,” Elaina cooed, “You used to...”

“What are you talking about?!” Brian demanding, “I don’t even know you! I only met you once, and that was a month ago!”

Elaina giggled, it was a very seductive noise, “Oh Brian, you know better than that. We’ve known each other a long time, longer than one month. Years Brian, decades..”

“I’m 24 years old! I don’t have decades!” Brian shrieked. The elevator came to a halt and dinged. Yes! Brian waited for the doors to open, but strangely they didn’t. “What’s going on?”

“You’re not leaving William,” Elaina said in a harder voice.

“William? Listen, I’m not your William, ok? So what ever you are doing to me... These crazy dreams, the pop up appearances, just stop! I’m not your guy! I may look like him, Nick may look like that Nathaniel guy, AJ may look like that Alexander, and I don’t know who you are! Just leave me the hell alone!” Brian beat on the closed doors of the elevator. Open, open!

Elaina laughed, only it wasn’t the sexy one Brian had heard before. It was harder, with a more bitter tone. “You still don’t believe Brian, after all that I have shown you? You are my soul mate. Soul mates always come back for each other, and I have come back for you. Your soul has been reborn to belong to me.”

“Oh my God,” Brian was wailing. Fear bit at his insides so hard he almost screamed out in pain, “You need help, you need professional help.”

“I need no help William,” she said stepping away from him ever so slowly, “I need you, and I will have you. Even if it means taking away someone close to you, to get you.”

“What are you? LET ME OUT! SOMEBODY HELP ME! LET ME OUT OF HERE!” Brian was screaming. His voice echoed back at him in the small metal room. He whirled around, and found that he was alone. Alone? “Elaina?” he whispered. No answer. Where had she gone? She couldn’t just have disappeared. People don’t disappear. Brian felt himself break out into a cold sweat, maybe she wasn’t a person. He pressed himself against the door, resting his forehead on the metal. Maybe she was... a ghost.

Chapter 15

“Brian where have you be... What happened?” Leighanne was in bed reading. She only glanced up when Brian noisily entered the room. She gasped when she took in his shattered appearance. She climbed out of bed and hurried to him. His whole body was shaking and damp, tears were coursing down his face. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

Brian said nothing to her, he only made his way to the bed and crawled in. He piled the covers over his head, and lie in a fetal position shivering violently. Leighanne gaped at the scene unfolding in front of her. She slowly pulled the covers away from Brian and began to undress him. She pulled off his shoes and socks. Brian’s eyes were closed, and if Leighanne wasn’t mistaken, his thumb was in his mouth! What in the world had happened? She had removed all his clothing except his boxers, then she got into the bed with him. She hugged his body close to hers, hoping some of her body heat would seep into Brian and calm his shivers. Something had scared him, bad, and Leighanne wanted to know what it was.

Chapter 16

“She’s got Nathaniel with her,” AJ told Brian or William in a desperate hiss. He was trying to look casual as he danced by Brian and Elaina. They were back in a fancy ballroom in what AJ thought could be France. It reminded him of the hotel they had stayed in, in Orlean, in fact it could have been. The settings was extremely elegant yet old fashioned, and the characters seemed wealthy and rather snobbish. AJ stood in the midst of it all wearing a fine tailored gray tuxedo, but he was alone with no date, only an urgent message. He didn’t understand the message. He felt like someone who just turned on a movie in the middle of the plot trying desperately to figure out what had happened prior to the scene. Unfortunately there was no TV guide to help him, he just had to go with his feelings. The person he was in this dream, Alexander, knew what he was doing, so AJ let him lead.

Brian/ William gasped, “Oh no. We’ve got to get him away from her, she’s going to hurt him, I know it.”

“He’s under her spell,” AJ warned, feeling his own skin grow cool, he shuddered, “Don’t let her get you under that spell too.” Spell?

“Don’t worry about me!” Brian/ William said, “I will be fine, you watch out for yourself, and Elaina. I will return with Nathaniel shortly.” Brian/ William was heading for the coatracks.

“William, at least let me go with you,” AJ pleaded, he grabbed Brian/ William’s arm and held him back. AJ felt Alexander’s fear building outside of his own. Something bad was going to happen.

“No, I do this alone. Carmen is my problem, and I will solve it once and for all...”

AJ sat up in bed with a gasp. He looked around the room to get his bearings. He saw no signs of the elegant ballroom or Brian. He was in his wife beater and boxers. He let out a huge sigh. He was going crazy, like Brian. Heck, he and Brian could attend therapy sessions together. Maybe they could get a two for one deal. AJ massaged his temples as images and memories from the dream came back to him. What did Alexander mean by spells, and who was Carmen? And why did she have Nathaniel... Nathaniel whom Brian said resembles Nick. Something bad was going to happen there. AJ felt fear grip his insides. He had no clue as to why. The fear was that Alexander guy’s problem, AJ had no connection to... He felt like his heart had stopped. Anxiety gripped him again, this time with no mercy. Alexander’s fear was his fear! Oh my God, he had to get to Nick. He had to see him right then, and make sure he was alright. AJ jumped out of bed and threw on his robe. He grabbed the handful of key cards that allowed him access to every members’ room, but he only needed a key for one. Not wanting to waste time he ran out his room door with all of the keys in hand.

Brian’s eyes popped open and he gasped, “Oh God, Nicky.” The words from the dream he had just had, and the words Elaina had spoken earlier that evening rang in Brian’s mind. “She’s got Nathaniel with her.” “...she’s going to hurt him.” “Even if it means taking away someone close to you to get to you.” Brian untangled himself from Leighanne’s arms. He tucked a pillow in his place. He had to get to Nicky. He didn’t know what he was going to do when he got there, but at least he would be ready. Brian frantically searched his suitcases for something to put on. He threw on some snap pants and a Nike shirt, then grabbed the key to Nick’s room off the night stand. He jogged to the door. He took one last look at Leighanne before he left. She was so good to him, and he didn’t want to lose her. After this, if they made it through this, Brian would marry her. He was sure of it. He opened the door and ventured out into the dim hallways.

Brian opened the door to Nick’s room softly. In the corner he thought he saw a retreating figure. He rubbed his eyes, and let them continue to adjust to the darkness. He shut the door behind him and came to sit on Nick’s bed.

“What the hell are you doing in here, Bri?” Brian almost shouted in surprise in seeing AJ appear across from him.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Brian muttered. He gazed down at Nick. Nick slept sprawled across the bed with his mouth hanging agape. His forehead glistened with sweat. A light snore came from his lips followed by the occasional cough or moan. He rolled over frequently causing Brian and AJ to have to switch their positions on the bed.

AJ looked thoroughly uncomfortable. Brian glanced at him curiously, “I’m surprised you guys didn’t burst into my room tonight with a straight jacket.”

AJ smiled lightly, “Not after my Mom getting on our cases tonight. We all went to bed after that.”

Brian stiffened, “You told her about me?”

“No,” AJ said, “The others wanted me to though. I didn’t see what good it would do.”

“Yeah, just think what would happen if your mom knew I was crazy..”

“You’re not crazy Rok, or at least if you’re crazy, then you’re not crazy alone,” AJ said staring at Brian intently.

“What are you...”

“I’ve seen her too Brian, I’ve seen Elaina. I also had a couple of dreams about her and maybe a past life,” AJ said quickly, his words rushed and rambling.

“What? When? And why didn’t you say anything to the others to keep them from jumping all over me down there?” Brian was angry. He felt betrayed all over again.

“Because... because I wasn’t sure, ok. I saw her when we were in France, the day Nick got sick and fainted during practice. You had never described her until last night so how was I supposed to know it was her. She’s the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, Rok. She assaulted every sense I have, and even some I don’t. After I saw her, I had this flashback or something. I was this guy named..”

“Alexander,” Brian said for him looking pale but intent.

“Yeah, and you, or William and Elaina were asking me or Alexander to help you elope..”

“We wanted to go to France,” Brian said.

“It was so weird, because it was like I was me, but I was also that Alexander guy. Like we are or were the same person once.. Like what you said before, reincarnation,” AJ said, “Crazy stuff.”

Brian agreed, “Yeah, crazy.” He felt more relaxed now that he knew he wasn’t the only one who shared the burden of insanity. Now AJ was in on the party. “So, what brings you in here?”

“Dreams, Bri,” AJ sighed, “A scary one. I dreamed that..”

“Something bad was going to happen to Nathaniel, or Nick,” Brian concluded, “I had the same dream, except..”

“Except?”

“AJ, what would you say if I told you I saw her again?”

“I want to check out of this hotel,” AJ said sounding upset, “Is she stalking us?”

“Me, yes she is,” Brian said with a nod, “She wants me AJ. She wants me to be William, and to...be with her. That’s how she put it. She told me that she would get me even if it meant hurting someone I’m close too. Then I have this dream about Nick being in trouble, and I’ve got to go save him...” Brian looked back at his young blond friend as he tossed in his sleep. Then his blue eyes slowly looked up to meet AJ’s brown ones, “AJ? What would you say if I told you that... I don’t think Elaina is a person.”

“I’d say you’re right, she’s a crazy psycho bitch barbie that..”

“No AJ! I don’t think she’s a live person! I think she’s a ghost, a restless spirit!” Brian said in a shushed voice.

AJ blinked and looked at Brian dubiously.

“AJ, she disappeared in thin air,” Brian said, he recounted his encounter in the elevator. AJ sat rocked by the tale and cursed under his breath, “How are we supposed to deal with a ghost, Bri?”

“I don’t know. You know, since we both agree that we’re not crazy, maybe we could go to the others together. Maybe convince them to help us...”Brian trailed off as he saw AJ’s negative _expression.

“They’ll have us committed. Leighanne’ll think that...”

Brian winced when AJ said her name, “Leighanne thinks I’m cheating on her, AJ. She really does. I can tell she’s trying to deny it, but I don’t think she’s gonna stick around much longer with all this going on. I don’t want her to leave.”

AJ frowned at him, “We gotta come up with somethin’, man. But in the mean time, you gotta pull yourself together! Act cool.”

“How can I?” Brian put his head in his hands, “You don’t have attractive ghost trying to put their hands in your pants now do you? And you know what, I actually wanted her to! When she kissed me I responded, so in a way, I did cheat on Leighanne.”

AJ gapped at him, “Brian, you’re going to have to tell me about all the times you’ve been with her, man. It sounds like you have some sort of a relationship with this girl.”

Brian groaned, “Sure AJ, gladly. Just not now, I don’t want to think anymore about it. I just want to be sure Nick’s ok.” AJ silently agreed and the two friends lapsed into silence as they watched their little brother sleep.

Chapter 17

After an hour of watching Nick drool, Brian and AJ became bored, and felt silly. Nothing was going to happen to Nick, maybe they were just being paranoid. AJ signaled that they should leave. They both stood to leave the bed as Nick’s body was racked by yet another coughing paroxysm. It was more violent than the previous ones, and it woke him almost instantly. He sat up so he could double over, and almost had a heart attack when he felt a hand patting his back.

He gasped, and stared at Brian in shock, “What... the...” he tried to choke out unsuccessfully. AJ poured him a glass of water from the pitcher beside his bed, and passed it to him, “You ok?”

Nick took a deep breath and patted his chest, trying to balance himself out from the shock of both AJ and Brian being in his room, “It’s the middle of the night, and I don’t feel good, AJ. No, I’m not ok. What are you doing in here?”

Brian felt his ears turning red.

“Um, guys, please don’t tell me you’re like coming out of the closet on me or somethin’. My head’s pounding too hard for me to deal with that tonight. What time is it?” Nick lie back on his bed and felt around for his pillows.

“They’re on the floor,” Brian snickered picking one of the pillows Nick had kicked out of the bed off the floor and handing it to him.

Nick snatched the pillow and made a face at Brian, “Well?”

“Well what? OH!” Brian was silent, how did he begin? AJ looked ready to say something, but Brian silenced him with a hand,“Nick, I saw her again in the elevator.”

Nick blinked and wiped his sweaty forehead with his palms, “Her? Her, as in super sexy girl that likes to break into my room? Really? Did you give her my room number?”

“Nick!” Brian snapped, “Be serious, please. I need to know, now, right now, if you are going to be on my side with this, our side,”He added the second part as he glanced at AJ.

“Your side?” Nick shut his eyes.

“Yes, I know that you told the others about my dreams...”

“I did,” Nick said simply with a frown, “They’re worried about you Bri, and frankly so am I. Those dreams are really shaking you up man, and well... You’re hurting Leigh. She thinks you’re seeing someone else besides her. I set her straight for now, but Brian, if you continue acting this way...”

“Nickolas you don’t understand! I feel like I’m two different people, here! In a dreamworld, which I really don’t think is a dream anymore, I’m William, here I’m Brian.”

“Wait, wait, dreamworld that you don’t think is a dream? I don’t under...”

“Of course you don’t. I don’t either, not really, but I think it’s a past life of mine. You know, like maybe I once was that William guy back in the 20's...”

“Reincarnation?” Nick questioned, “I’m interested. What makes you think that? Is it what Elaina said about..”

“Partly. Another part is, I just feel it. It all feels like deja-vu. And then all of sudden this Elaina girl keeps popping up out of nowhere, coming on to me, and she starts calling me William,” Brian said beginning to bite his nails.

“She calls you William? Well, have you told her about your dreams?”

“No, not a stitch, except for the fact that she was in the majority of them,” Brian muttered, “She was in the elevator with me Nick, alone. She did something to it to make it so I couldn’t leave until she wanted me to. She told me we were like soul mates, and I would be with her, and she.. She..”

“She...?” Nick waved his hand in the air impatiently.

“She threatened someone close to me,” Brian finished lamely.

“Really, who? I wonder if... Dammit Brian! Is that why you’re in here?” Nick sat up pulling the covers around him.

Brian nodded, “I had another dream tonight, and AJ told me..”

“AJ?”

“Yeah, he was in my past life, he was this dude named Alexander, not much of a change there,” Brian said, “But he told me that she had you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, except your name is Nathaniel,” Brian said, “Remember?”

Nick nodded and stifled a yawn.

“I think it’s a warning,” Brian grumbled.

“Well, did you call the police?”

“What help did that do the last time Nick? And you know what... Don’t think I’m crazy, but I really really don’t think she’s... she’s human Nicky.”

“WHAT?”

“I think she’s a ghost,” Brian shuddered, “She disappeared from the elevator. There was no way she could have gotten out without walking through the walls.”

Nick was staring at Brian wide eyed, “A ghost? You mean there was a freakin’ ghost in my room?”

Brian nodded, “I think so. And I think she wants me to be with her.”

Nick was now biting his nails too, “So what do we do? And how does AJ fit into this? Have you seen her too?”

AJ nodded, “I’ve seen her. I even shared a dream or two with Brian, here. I just chose to my psychosis to myself.”

“Smart move,” Nick said yawning again.

Brian glared at the both of them, “I just wish we knew more about the situation. I wish we knew what happened then, how she died. Maybe that could help us.”

Nick looked thoughtful, “You could hire a private I.”

“Nick, I thought we ruled out...”

“No, I mean just someone to go do some research for you. He could dig up some information on the girl whether she be dead or alive. What was her last name?”

Brian sat still, did he know what her last name was? The answer tickled at the base of his throat, “Landry.”

“Elaina Landry,” Nick said, “So call and offer a nice chunk of change to a specialist, and see what you can get. I’ll even pitch in some if you’d like.”

Brian and AJ stared at their young friend and Brian smiled, “When did you grow up, Nick?”

Nick blinked and returned the smile, “I’ve always been grown, you just never cared enough to notice. Now get out of my room, I’m tired.”

“But...”

“Nobody’s gonna bother me tonight without me noticing, Rok, ok?” Nick said lying down, “If I even think something could be wrong, I’ll come knock on one of your doors.”

Brian and AJ left reluctantly. Brian shut the door behind them as quietly as he could. Then he and AJ parted company, and Brian slipped back to his room. A private investigator, he would definitely have to look into that. But when would he have the time, and be out of the hawkish watch of his brothers? Brian stared at the empty bed. Where did...? He saw a folded sheet of paper on the bed stand and stalked over to it. His hand shook as he lifted the note knowing what it said. He unfolded it slowly and let his eyes skim over its contents.

Brian,

I bet you knew what this was when you first came in and saw it huh?

I would apologize for leaving, but then I think why should I?

You’ve already left me Brian. I’ve thought for some time that you

were seeing someone else. Nick assured me you weren’t, but I heard

you call for her in your sleep Bri. You didn’t think I was awake, did you,

when you snuck out of our room? Well I was, and the only thing I have to

say to you Brian Thomas Littrell is, I hope she was good, really good.

Leigh

“Damn,” Brian swore, “Oh man...” Brian’s fingers trailed over the telephone, Call her! Call her! Every nerve in his body was screaming at him. “What the hell would I tell her?” Brian asked himself out loud, “I’m sorry, but a beautiful ghost thinks I’m her soul mate. That’s who’s been taking all my attention away from you.” He laughed suddenly. He fell back onto his large cold bed and laughed hysterically at his luck. He laughed until tears poured from his eyes. He needed help. He was letting a girl, a girl who was not real, ruin his life. He needed to get a firm grip on reality, and he needed to do it soon. He threw himself into the cabinets under the bed stand searching for the yellow pages. He wondered if private investigators were even listed.

Chapter 18

“Leighanne called me late last night, or I could say early this morning, needing me to take her to the airport,” Kevin was telling Howie over breakfast the next morning.

Howie nearly choked on his eggs, “Come again?” He wiped his mouth and took a sip of his coffee.

“Leighanne left last night,” Kevin said flatly, “She called me and told me Brian was gone. She says he’s been seeing someone else, and that confirmed it.”

“Oh my God, Kev, I can’t see Brian cheating on Leighanne!” Howie said setting down his mug, “I can see AJ cheating on Amanda.”

“I am thoroughly insulted D,” came AJ’s raspy voice as he plopped down beside Howie in the booth, “I’m tired of you saying I’m gonna cheat on my girl. I haven’t yet, now have I?”

Howie looked at him suspiciously, “You wouldn’t happen to know where Brian was last night, would you?”

“Why?” AJ looked guarded. He raised a finger to alert a waiter that he needed a menu.

“Leighanne left,” Kevin said simply, “She caught Brian sneaking out of the room. I tried to talk to her about it, maybe get her to wait until Bri came back. She wouldn’t hear it, she just wanted to go home. She didn’t shed one tear. I found her sitting in the lobby with two suitcases and this hard look on her face. I opened my mouth to greet her and she gave me ‘the hand’ and told me she didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t argue with her. The whole trip to the airport was in total silence. She didn’t utter one word about what had happened, other than what she told me on the phone. When we got to the airport the only thing she said to me before she got on the plane, was ‘Thank you.’”

AJ whistled, “Wow, Bri’s in hot water now.”

“Yeah,” Kevin said sounding slightly angered, “I know it’s not my business, but Leighanne is a sweet girl who doesn’t deserve to be treated like that! Do you know who Brian was with last night AJ? You look guilty.”

“I look guilty?” AJ thanked the waiter that brought him a menu, “I do not! I have nothing to hide. Brian wasn’t with another woman last night he was with me in Nick’s room.”

Howie and Kevin looked at AJ funny, “And why were you in there, didn’t your mother scare you enough with her threats?”

AJ rolled his eyes, “I don’t have to explain myself to you.” AJ began to study the menu and ignored the looks he was getting from his brothers.

“Good morning guys,” Denise came to the table, “Why all the sunny expressions?”

“Leighanne left,” AJ said gruffly, “and these guys are giving me the third degree about it.”  “Leighanne left? The tour?” Denise looked shocked, she sat beside Kevin, “Why? And where’s Brian?- I bet he’s heart broken.”

“I doubt it, that rat. He’s been sneaking around on her,” Kevin said

AJ glared at Kevin, “I told you where he was!”

Denise held up a hand to stop the argument, “Now hold on. Leighanne left, last night?”

“Yeah, she caught that rat sneaking out of the room,” Kevin said folding his napkin and putting it on his unfinished plate, suddenly he wasn’t so hungry anymore.

“Brian?” Denise was in denial, “Surely there must be some other explanation on why he left the room.”

“Yeah there is,”AJ jumped in, “He was with me, we were with Nick.”

Denise turned a glare on AJ, “Didn’t I tell you to go to bed and leave that boy alone?!”

AJ lowered his head, he just couldn’t win! “What were you doing in there?”

“Well...”

“Who set my alarm clock to go off this morning?” A cranky Nick dropped both his hands to the table and glared at his companions. He was fully dressed and groomed but looked like death itself.

Kevin hid a grin, he knew Nick would sleep their entire day off if they let him. “I did. I forgot we were off.”

Nick glared at him evilly, and grumbled something. He forced AJ and Howie to scoot over so he could sit.

“How are you feeling, sweetie?” Denise asked, frowning at his appearance.

“Exactly like I look,” Nick said,” like hell. I have never been so reluctant to see myself in the mirror.” He peered at the menu AJ was holding.

“So, we hear you had a busy night last night,” Howie said munching on a piece of toast. He caught Kevin’s look.

Nick growled, “What are you trying to say, D?”

“Easy, it’s just that AJ tells us that he and Brian came to visit you last night.”

Nick glared at AJ, “They did. We talked for a bit, then they left.”

“Along with Leighanne,” Denise added.

“Huh?” Nick asked stifling a cough, “She left, last night?”

Kevin nodded, “She thinks Brian is cheating on her.”

“Brian would never do such a thing!” Nick interjected, “Sure he’s been distracted lately, but he’s not cheating on anyone.”

“Distracted by what, Nicky? By delusions of a pastlife and some dream girl from Louisiana that stalks him.”

Nick was silenced by that, “He needs help, professional, and we’ve got to find a way to get it to him.” Kevin and Howie were serious, they looked at the puzzled Denise.

“What are you boys talking about?” Denise asked.

“Denise, Brian’s been having some weird dreams lately about some girl, and now he claims to see her in places. He thinks he’s been reincarnated from this girl’s lover, and that she’s stalking him.”

Denise gapped, “So do you think he’s been cheating on Leighanne with this girl?”

“We are not entirely sure if she’s even real. Only Brian has seen her. Remember that whole incident when Brian told us that the girl had gotten into Nick’s room, and we called security?”

Denise nodded, “But then Nick has seen her.”

“I saw her twice,” Nick said flatly.

“But Nick, no one else has seen her, and security found no trace of a girl fitting that name or description anywhere.”

“That doesn’t mean anything. She could have left by then,” Nick argued.

“Nick, just how sure are you that you saw that girl in your room?” Kevin grilled directing his intense gaze at Nick. Nick shrank back under his glare, then raised his eyes in defiance, “I saw her.”

“Nick, what do you remember about that day?” Kevin tested him.

Nick blinked, and AJ turned to look at him. He appeared to be having trouble calling up his memories from that day,” I...I... I saw her ok!” He finished lamely, he rubbed his forehead, and closed his eyes, “I think I’ll go back upstairs now.”

“You want me to order something for you, honey, and bring it up to you later?” Denise asked reaching over the table to feel his forehead, “OW! Nickolas, can you not tell when you’re burning up?” She got up to walk to his side of the table. AJ and Howie were already testing Nick’s skin temperature. “Come on, I’m taking you back upstairs. Then I’m going to call a doctor, again. And they had better tell me something better than ‘the flu’ this time!”

Nick groaned, “No more doctors!” he dragged his feet behind Denise as she pulled him to the doors of the restaurant.

“Poor kid,” Howie remarked, “Where are you going AJ?”

“Upstairs with them. I’ve suddenly lost my appetite,” AJ said sourly. He lay down hs menu and left the table.

“What is going on?” Howie looked at Kevin who shrugged, “I don’t know, and for some reason I think we’re the only ones who don’t know.”

Chapter 19

AJ didn’t even wait for Brian to open the door before he slammed into the room, “We got problems...”

“I found a detective,” Brian said looking at AJ. AJ froze in his tirade, “How are you doing Bri?”

“I’m fine, the detective says we can meet with him today between 1 and 3,” Brian said lightly. He had already made his bed, though he didn’t have to. The room was spotless, as was Brian’s appearance. There was an energy to him that AJ hadn’t seen in weeks. AJ stared at Brian as he downed two asprin and chugged half a bottle of water. “I figured you would want to come with me, but if you don’t it’s fine.”

“No, I’ll go...” AJ was still looking at Brian oddly, “But you didn’t answer my question, How are you?”

“I told you...”

“Brian, Leighanne left you last night,” AJ said taking the smaller man by the shoulders.

“That’s old news AJ, it’s time to make new news,” Brian said quickly, “Leighanne and I will be ok.”

“Have you even called her, man?” AJ demanded, his concern making a quick transition to anger, “What makes you think that...”

“Alex, please. I’ve had enough, enough of everything. Enough women, enough ghosts, enough talk.... Now I want answers. I can’t rest until I get these answers. I can’t call Leighanne now! What would I tell her, huh? I’m being haunted by the spirit of a sexy female who wants me to be her soulmate for eternity? I need to get this over and out of my life before I can move on. Do you understand?” Brian looked AJ dead straight in the eyes. AJ sighed and released him.

“We probably won’t be able to get away long enough to see that detective today Rok,” AJ grumbled simply. He was ashamed of himself for losing control earlier. Brian was in a very strange and spooky situation, and trying to deal with it leading the superstar life that he had wasn’t easy.

“What? Why not? It’s our day off! No, please do not tell me that those guys still think that...”

“Oh yeah, and Leighanne leaving last night confirmed it for them.”

“How do they know about that already? What did she do?- Tape her last statement and leave it on the hotel lobby desk for the press to air on Good Morning Switzerland?!” Brian fell back onto his bed rumpling the smooth bedspread.

“No man, worse, she called Kevin to take her to the airport,” AJ said plopping on the bed beside him, “Now they are pissed and think you’re crazy.”

“Great,”Brian groaned, “and this is our only day off for two more weeks! I got lucky when this Detective Berns had an opening for today. He specializes in doing research on the past. He helps people discover their family trees, and lost relatives. He’s even from England, so we don’t have to worry about listening to heavy Swiss accents.”

“Yeah, we get heavy English accents which can be just as bad,”AJ rolled his eyes, “Ironic isn’t it?”

“What?”

“That these people are the English, but when they speak it, you still want to say ‘In English, please,’”AJ said with a slight smile.

Brian laughed, “Yeah.” He sighed and stood up, “Should I go and talk to the guys, and try to convince them that I’m not crazy?”

“After that show you put on last night I doubt if they’ll believe a word from your mouth, and now Leighanne?” AJ made a noise with his mouth letting Brian know that his plan would not work.

“Maybe you could go,”Brian looked thoughtfully at AJ. His blue eyes stared at AJ’s brown ones, “I could tell you everything and you could go and meet with the guy.”

“Why can’t we do it over the phone? I wouldn’t feel comfortable telling him all the things you should be saying man. What if he asks me something you didn’t tell me?”

“He only opens business with clients in person,” Brian moaned, “All you have to do is pretend you’re me!”

AJ looked heavenward, “Why do I have to be you? Can’t I just tell the guy that..”

There was a knock at Brian’s door, “Please don’t be Kevin,” Brian muttered as he got up to open it. Denise stood outside, “Hello Brian, is AJ in here with you?”

Brian nodded. Without warning she hugged him, “Are you ok, sweetie? I heard about Leighanne. I knew you two had been having problems, but Brian, if you need to talk to someone...”

Brian wanted to scream. Everybody thought he was insane! Maybe he was, maybe AJ was too!

Denise released Brian from the hug and looked him over, “I had Nick’s breakfast sent up to his room. You boys should order something up for yourselves, and go join him. I heard about your get together last night, so I figure you boys don’t mind spending time together.” She reached up to fluff her hair as AJ came to stand in the doorway with Brian, “I’m going to wait for that doctor in the lobby. Make sure he eats at least half of what’s on his plate.” With that she turned and walked on towards the elevators.

“Doctor?” Brian questioned.

“For Nick again. I wish they’d just give him something that works so we can get on with the show,” AJ said shutting Brian’s door behind them as they stepped out into the hallway.

“What he needs is rest,” Brian said plainly. He and AJ made it to Nick’s room in 2 minutes. The door was slightly opened and Nick was sitting in front of the TV playing a video game. “You better not let my mom catch you playing that, or Kevin for that matter.”

Nick frowned and turned to face AJ and Brian, “Leighanne left you last night while you were in here Bri. I’m sorry.”

Brian smiled. It was just like Nick to make it seem like it was his own fault, “Nothing to be sorry about Frack.. I messed up, but I’m gonna fix it. How are you feeling?”

“Cruddy,” Nick cursed as he lost another man, he restarted his game.

“Kev alert,” AJ said spying Kevin and Howie making their way down the hall chatting to each other casually. Nick groaned and turned the TV off and slid his DreamCast underneath the set. He jumped back onto the unmade bed and wrapped a blanket around himself.

“Nicky, I want to apologize if... Oh, hi Brian, AJ,” Kevin finished rather coldly.

“Good morning Kevin,” Brian said using the same tone. He sat beside Nick on the bed.

“I saw Leighanne last night,” Kevin said in the same cold tone.

“Yeah, I know,” Brian said back, “And I know you want to yell at me right now. Go ahead, I don’t care. I was wrong and I know it.”

AJ nearly bit off his tongue and whipped his head around to stare at Brian like he really had lost his mind. Brian’s eyes twinkled with mischief, Play along, his eyes pleaded. AJ bit his lips on a smile. “Brian, what are you doing... I told him that you...”

“You don’t have to lie for me anymore AJ,” Brian said seriously. He hung his head in shame, “I never should have made you and Nick tell those lies for me.”

Nick’s eyes were wide with confusion, “What the hell is he...”

AJ clapped his hand over Nick’s open mouth. He yelped when he felt teeth in his fingers. Kevin shot a sharp glance at the younger two, “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Nick uttered, shooting AJ a look.

“Brian, what would your parents think if they knew what you’ve been up to?” Kevin came to stand in front of Brian, “They’d be so disappointed in you, like I am right now. Why did you do it? What was it about that other woman that captured your interest? I cannot believe that you would lead Leighanne so! And to have AJ and Nick lying for you, and telling us these crazy stories about past lives and disappearing girls! What is going on with you?!” Kevin was screaming in Brian’s face. Brian’s face had reddened. He had to remember not to get angry, after all, he was confessing to cheating on his girlfriend. Even if it was not true, it would get Kevin, Denise, and Howie off his back, and maybe get him out of the hotel.

He lowered his head trying to look embarrassed, “Please don’t tell my mom.”

Kevin glared at Brian, “ Leighanne was one of the best things that ever happened to you, and you RUINED it with some slut!”

Brian cringed at his heated words, “Kevin please, I made a mistake! I know that now!”

“No! You didn’t see her last night, you haven’t seen her all this week. She loved you Brian! You had the sweetest girl head-over-heels in love with you, and you throw it away?!” Kevin shook Brian roughly, “If you weren’t my cousin I’d hit you!”

“Hit me!” Brian raised his head defiantly, “I dare you to Richardson.”

Kevin actually raised his fists to his cousin’s face, he was in a white hot blaze of fury. Howie, AJ, and Nick were forcing themselves between the two, struggling to pull them apart. Both Kentuckians were red faced and screaming insults at the top of their lungs at one another.

“What is going on in here?!” Denise shrieked as she and a man in a fine suit and a white overcoat burst into the room. Kevin and Brian immediately let the heat run from their faces. They stood on opposite sides of each other, refusing to look in the other’s direction.

“What is going on in here?” Denise grabbed a fistful of both Kevin and Brian’s shirts, “I don’t want to hear any crap this time.”

“That no good rat cheated on Leighanne, he just fessed up to it a minute ago,” Kevin said angrily clipping off his words.

“I made a mistake!” Brian shot back, “And I’m not saying that I’m not guilty. I’m sorry, I am slime, and I never deserved someone as good as Leigh!”

Kevin made another lunge for him, and was blocked by Nick who was standing beside Brian, “Dang it Kevin, he says he’s sorry, leave it alone. It’s not like he cheated on you!” 

“You go lie down young man,” Denise snapped at Nick, “Everybody out! No, not you!” Denise caught Nick’s sleeve as he tried to sneak out of the room with the others.

Denise left Nick in the room with the doctor. She slipped into the hallway to stand with the bristling Boys, “Now what is going on here? That was embarrassing to me to have to take that doctor in there to see you all yelling and fighting each other like children!”

Kevin and Brian hung their heads, “I’m sorry Denise, but...”

“Don’t apologize to me, just tell me what is going on with you guys!” Denise stood with her hands on her hips.

“I told you Brian’s been cheating on Leighanne..”

“And that’s a reason for you to burst into that boy’s room yelling like that and trying to attack your own cousin?” Denise spat, “Kevin you’re the oldest, I expect you to be the mature one. Brian made a mistake, a tasteless one, but you can see he’s sorry. It’s ok to be angry, but not ok to attack people!”

Kevin stood pale with his mouth hanging agape, “I.. I... Denise, Leighanne didn’t call you in the middle of the night because this... scumbag... left her to be with some skank...”

“Hey! You will not call a woman by that word!” Denise said, “Does this girl have a name Brian?”

Brian nodded, “It’s uh...” He thought about it, “Elaina.”

“I knew it!” Kevin yelled, “All those stories you’ve been telling us, making Nick tell us, had us thinking you were losing your mind! We were actually worried about you! Hah!” Kevin laughed bitterly.

“Kevin please...” Brian began.

“No, don’t speak to me. I can’t hear your voice without wanting to smack you. I want to flatten you into the ground with my feet! I am so angry with you right now I could spit!”

Brian fought the urge to grin, looks like Howie wasn’t the only actor in the bunch. “I know, and I don’t blame you.. I just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

Kevin glared at Brian, “I’m going out. Don’t come to my room to talk, Brian, not today. I promise to try to be calmer tomorrow, but right now...” He shook his head furiously, “I’ll see you guys later.” Kevin walked briskly down the hall and towards the elevators.

AJ whistled, “ Look what you did.” His eyes gleamed with pent in laughter.

Howie stared after Kevin, “Wow, he is really mad.”

“No duh, Howie,” Brian said,” And it’s all my fault. I’m gonna try to make it up to him, somehow. I’ll leave him alone today.” Brian leaned against the wall and shut his eyes, “I hope he can forgive me.” And the Oscar goes to.... Brian could hear in his mind. He even dreamed up his acceptance speech. He had succeeded in changing his title from “Lunatic” to “Rat.” He didn’t like it, but at least “Rats” could get out of the hotel without supervision. “Lunatics” can’t.

Denise frowned at Brian and put a hand on his shoulder, “You know I don’t approve of what you did, but you also didn’t deserve all of that. I hope you think about it, though, before you ever decide you want to do something like that again. Brian, I wouldn’t blink twice if someone told me AJ had cheated on his girlfriend, but you...”

“WHY DOES EVERYBODY THINK I’M GONNA CHEAT ON AMANDA!” AJ yelled. The situation was no longer amusing to him.

Denise looked at AJ blankly, “Huh? Did you say something dear?” She laughed and smacked AJ playfully on the head. The door to Nick’s room opened and the tall blond and the doctor stepped out, “Well?” Denise inquired.

“I want him to go to the local hospital to have some blood work done, “the doctor said with a gentle Swiss accent.

Nick was scowling at the doctor as he lounged in the doorway.

“Blood work?” Denise questioned, “Oh my God, what do you think it is?”

“I suspect pneumonia, but to be for certain I want him to have some blood drawn.”

“How much blood are we talking about, Doc?” Nick had butted in, and was rudely ignored.

“Ok, when do you want this to happen?” Denise asked.

“Soon, today if possible. I do not want this to get out of control. I will call the hospital as soon as I get in the lobby to tell them to be expecting him,” The doctor shook Denise’s hand, “It was nice to deal with you... and if you do not mind... May I have autographs from the Boys, they are for my daughters. All I hear all day long is ‘Backstreet Boys!’ All I could do to keep them from accompanying me on this house call was to promise them autographs.”

Denise chuckled, “They’ll be happy to. I’ll go get a few pictures and some markers.”

Chapter 20

“Man, ain’t nobody stickin’ no big needle in my arm and taking my blood,” Nick said firmly. He had locked himself in the bathroom.

“Nickolas! You are being ridiculous! Open this door right now!” Denise’s voice was shrill as she tried to turn the knob, “Brian, you try. I give up.”

Brian took Denise’s place outside the bathroom door, “Nick?”

“I’m not goin’!”

“Nick, I didn’t say anything about going anywhere,” Brian said softly.

“You ain’t gonna use that reverse psychology crap to trick me Littrell, I ain’t comin’ out!”

“Frack, come on, it’s been 2 weeks. You’re sick and ain’t gettin’ any better sittin’ in there,” Brian knocked on the door, “Now stop being childish and open up!”

“NO!”

“Nickolas Gene Carter, I hate to resort to this, but you leave me with no other choice. If you don’t come out right now, I’m gonna call your MOM!” Brian yelled through the door, the ultimate threat. The door opened slowly with a very pale Nick behind it. The look on his face was so pathetic Brian laughed, “You ain’t gonna call my Mom.”

“I can’t believe you called my Mom,” Nick was grumbling in the car. Brian was driving and AJ sat in the passenger seat. Nick was sprawled out in the backseat sulking. Nick had finally agreed to go to the hospital after the tongue lashing he received from his mother, and Brian and AJ going with him. AJ had managed to convince his mother to let him and Brian take Nick to the hospital. Nick was being totally disagreeable, and only wilted in his demeanor when he was told that Brian and AJ would be the ones to take him.

“Well you were being a big baby,” Brian said, “Drawing a little blood doesn’t hurt. Before I had surgery you should have seen all the blood they had to take out of me.”

“I don’t want to know about it, Bri,” Nick groaned, “I can’t believe I let you talk me into this... Hey, where are we going after this? I know you guys wouldn’t jump at the chance to take me to the blood factory if there isn’t something in it for you.”

“Oh Nickolas, do you really think...”

“Yes!” Nick snapped, “So what’s going on?”

“Brian found a detective that’s gonna help him,” AJ said from the passenger seat, “We were gonna stop by his office after we dropped you off at the hospital.”

Nick cringed hearing the word “hospital.” He moaned loudly, “Can’t you go see the detective first?” he whined.

“Nope, you gotta get pricked, it’s gonna take them a few hours to process your blood buddy,” Brian said carefully guiding the tiny European car into the hospital parking lot, “And besides, those nurses and doctors in there are expecting you within the hour.”

Nick made another moaning noise and flopped onto his stomach in the backseat, “I am not getting out of the car!” Brian and AJ opened the backdoor and each grabbed a leg. They pulled as Nick gripped the seat. Brian crawled in leaving AJ to pull and began to tickle Nick under his exposed, unprotected armpits. Nick yelled out in an unfair protest as he let go of the seat to cease Brian’s hands. He was yanked roughly from the vehicle. Brian and AJ stood him up and thus began their new challenge of trying to drag Nick into the building.

It took ten minutes to get through the parking lot and to the door. Nick grabbed onto anything he could to delay his trip into the hospital. AJ and Brian made plenty of scenes with Nick trying to loosen his grip on poles and door frames. They finally had him in the building and sitting in the lobby. Brian went to check in at the desk and fill out papers. Less than 5 minutes later a doctor came out holding a clipboard beckoning Nick inside.

“Go on, Nick,” Brian was pushing Nick towards the door of the room.

“NO!” Nick was yelling, huge crocodile tears were shining in his eyes and threatening to spill, “I don’t want to!”

“Look Nick, look, I’ll go in with you,” AJ said, “I’ll let them take my blood too. Is that ok? Does that make you feel better?”

Nick was sniffling and rubbing his eyes, he looked so young at that moment AJ wanted to hug him. Nick nodded slowly and let the doctor lead him into the room with AJ following.

Once inside the doctor instructed both Nick and AJ to sit down in little black arm chairs. They then wrapped tight arm bands just about their elbows. “Who’s first?”

“AJ,” Nick said quickly.

AJ raised an eyebrow, “Ok, I am.” He let the doctors rub his arm with alcohol and prep the needle. He relaxed and closed his eyes. He barely felt when the needle entered his skin. A few minutes later the doctor was winking at him and telling him she was done. His arm was cleaned and bandaged.

“Alright, your turn Nick,” the doctor turned to Nick who had curled up in his chair, “No.”

“Nick, you just saw me do it. Did I scream, or act like it hurt?”AJ was getting frustrated.

“I don’t need a blood test!” Nick wailed curling up into a tighter ball.

“Young man you haven’t stopped coughing since you came into this room,” the doctor said sternly, “You need a blood test.”

“No!”

“Do you want me to go home and tell my two daughters what a big baby Nick Carter is?”

“You can tell them whatever you want if it means that thing’s not goin’ in me!” Nick’s voice was muffled as he buried his face in cushions of the chair and gripped the back of it until his knuckles turned white.

“Mr. Carter, if you keep refusing to cooperate with me I’ll have to send in some orderlies to hold you down.”

“Yeah, and I’ll tell Brian to call your Mom again.”

“No! Oh alright!” Nick grouched, he held out his arm and rolled up his sleeve, “Freakin’ vampires.”

“Dang it Nick, we didn’t know we were going to be in there with you all day,” Brian petted Nick’s drooping head as they headed toward the parking lot. The original plan had been for Brian and AJ to drop Nick off, meet with the detective, and swing back to pick him up. With the way Nick had acted, they ended up staying with him. After taking blood from Nick, Dr. Juliani decided that she wanted a chest x-ray too. It took 2 hours, mainly because Nick was being totally uncooperative.

“Now we have to take you with us to Mr. Berns’ office,” Brian said.

“Sounds like the Simpsons,” Nick snickered, “Sounds like fun, Denise won’t let me do anything back at the hotel!”

“Oh man, Mom!” AJ smacked himself in the forehead, “I need to call her and tell her what’s going on, and that we’re not bringing Nick back right away.”

“How are you going to explain that?” Brian asked.

“Tell her I’m hungry, I want McDonalds, and we’re going to try to find one!” Nick supplied helpfully, “That’s half true. I’m kind of hungry.”

AJ blinked at him, “That would work, and she’d be glad you’re eating something. Ok.” AJ walked a bit away from the group so he could make the call.

“Nick, do you feel up to making another trip with us?” Brian asked seriously, “You look beat.”

“I’m fine,” Nick snapped, “and if I have to go back to that hotel I’m gonna crack!”

“Ok,” Brian grinned at him, “have it your way your Blondness.”

Nick made a face at the name.

“We’re good to go fellas,” AJ said jumping in front of them, “Lets go. I get to drive this time!”

“On second thought, maybe I should go back to the hotel,” Nick said feigning fear. AJ popped Nick lightly in the back of the head.

Chapter 21

Mr. Bern’s office was in the downtown area. “I didn’t know it was going to be in such a populated area, Bri. We don’t have any bodyguards with us, “AJ looked nervous. He had recently had an earring ripped out by a fan and wasn’t interested in losing another.

“Only older people are out during this time a day,” Brian reasoned, “If we put on our sunglasses we’ll be fine. Wake up Nick.” Brian reached into the backseat to punch Nick in the leg. Nick snorted and slowly raised his head up to access his surroundings.

“You’re in the back of a car Nick,” AJ supplied, “Wipe the drool off the side of your mouth and slap on your hat and shades.”

Nick grumbled something and began searching around for his baseball cap and shades.

“You sure this address is right?” AJ cocked an eyebrow at Brian. He glanced outside at the heavily populated street. The people outside were wearing mostly business suits, and looked older than the majority of fans the Boys circulated. AJ parked the car.

“Well, this is it,” Brian said anxiously, “I don’t know whether I should be scared or excited.”

“Why would you be scared? That Elaina chick is hot, dead or alive,” Nick said opening his door and sliding out into the public eye, “Come on!”

Brian sighed and eased his baseball cap onto his head and adjusted his sunglasses, “I’m almost glad it’s freezing here,” he commented.

“Why?” AJ had gotten out of the car and was leaning back in to listen to Brian’s answer.

“Because it makes you have to wear long sleeves and cover up your body art,” Brian chuckled. He jumped out of the car, “Nick, come back here. You don’t even know where it is!”

Brian walked ahead of Nick and AJ so they wouldn’t look like a group, and because he was holding the address to the office. He had it hastily scribbled down on a pad of paper. They entered the office complex as a group. They only needed the cover for outdoors. Once inside, they removed their hats and glasses. After some curious glances made in AJ’s direction, AJ decided to put his hat back on. Blue and red hair wasn’t exactly an ideal style for a place of business. Brian nodded his head at the elevator indicating they would have to take it. The office was on the fourth floor of the complex.

Brian located the office easily, after getting lost only 7 times before. Brian took a deep breath and turned the knob. The room was done in pastel. There was a woman sitting behind a desk typing on a computer and talking on the telephone. Brian, AJ, and Nick came in and politely took one of the seats lining the wall. The woman took notice of them after a few moments and excused herself from the phone, “May I help you?” the woman had a very noticeable British accent.

“Yes, my name is Brian Littrell and I have an appointment to see Mr. Berns..”

“Oh yes, you’re the only one on the schedule for this afternoon. You’re lucky, he just got in from lunch,” the secretary said, “Go on in.”

Brian stood with AJ and Nick rising with him.

“All of you are together?”

Brian nodded, “Is it a problem?”

“No, it’s just you look familiar,” the woman squinted at them, “Aren’t you the.. The Backstreet Boys?”

Brian flinched, “Um... yeah, we’re part of them anyway. We kind of snuck out today, so we don’t have any bodyguards with us. Could you keep it quiet that we’re here?”

The woman nodded and smiled, “Miles told me your name and I knew it sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place it until I saw all of you. I’m taking my son and daughter to see your show Thursday night.”

They all smiled, “Would you like for us to autograph something for them?”

The woman smiled, “Only if you don’t mind. You can do it when you come out. Go on in, I’m going to buzz him and tell him you’re here.”

“Thank you.”

Much to Brian’s surprise Mr. Berns wasn’t at all as old as he had sounded. He was maybe in his late twenties or early thirties. He was handsome with a thick shock of dark brown hair and dark hazel eyes. He beamed at all three of them as they entered, “I knew it! I knew you were that Backstreet Boy my oldest daughter goes crazy over. Nice to meet you Mr. Littrell. And let me guess you are AJ, and you are the one and only Nick Carter.”

Mr. Berns stared at Nick, “You don’t look at all like your posters. I mean, I can tell you’re the guy, but you’re a little scrawny.”

AJ and Brian cracked up at Nick’s expense.

“Well, I guess it’s better than being called fat,”Nick said with a sigh.

“Oh, I’m sorry I wasn’t making fun of you, it’s just you’re bigger in pictures. Not fat, it’s just... You know what, I’m just gonna take my foot out of my mouth and get on with business.” He shook all their hands again and sat back in his desk chair. He tucked his hands behind his head, “Now, give me the name of the person you need information over, and your reason why.”

Brian blinked, “I need full lifetime reports of a woman named Elaina Renee Landry, and men named William Beau Dumas, Nathaniel Paul Andreas, and Alexander Ramon Russo.”

Mr. Berns blinked, “Anyone else?”

Brian shook his head, “All of these people are deceased.”

“And why do you want to know about these people? Are they family?” Berns asked curiously.

“That’s what I want to find out,” Brian said, “Do you think you can find these people for me? I have more information I can give to help you.”

Berns smiled slowly, “You’ve named about 5 people, and I charge by the length of research I have to do on each person. It may come out to be a pricey amount.”

Brian nodded, “Money is no object to me right now.”

Berns nodded, “Ok. Now let me have those names, and spell them out for me ths time.”

Brian proceeded to do so. He also gave the location, which was Louisiana, and the time they had lived in which was early 20^th century. AJ and Nick sat quietly confused over the bulk of information that Brian actually knew about those people. Strangely enough some of it seemed a little familiar to them too. It felt like deja-vu.

After 25 minutes Berns looked at Brian and told him the session was over, “I should have something for you in a few weeks. I’ll be in contact. I can still reach you at this number?”

“Yes, it’s my cell phone and voice mail number. You may have to mail the info to me though, we’re only going to be in town a little while before we get back on the road.”

“Well, Mr. Littrell if you don’t mind autographing a few things from the kids I’ll reduce your fee, and put a rush on your information.”

Brian’s eyes widened with excitement, “Sure, of course! Heck you can have backstage passes to the show tomorrow and I’ll kiss em’ and everything! I’m just so grateful someone can help me out. Thanks Mr. Berns.”

Berns grinned, “You can call me Miles, and I hope you have a very nice day Mr. Littrell. And Mr. Carter?”

All three men paused in the doorway. Nick turned around to face... Miles.

“Sorry about earlier,” Miles said sheepishly,” and I hope you’re feeling better when you do that concert I paid an arm and a leg to take my wife and kids to see.”

Nick made a face, “I hope so too.”

On the way back to the hotel the Boys went to McDoanlds and went through the drive-thru window. When they finally reached the hotel it was growing dark.

“My mom is gonna kill us,” AJ said as they tiptoed inside the building. Their bodyguards greeted them casually.

“There you are!” AJ heard his mother screech. AJ groaned and lowered his head to his chest grumbling under his breath, “Where have you three been all day?”

“Sightseeing,” Nick said quickly, “I had fun.”

Denise frowned a bit, “Did you eat?”

Nick nodded.

“Ok,” Denise looked all three of them over, “I’m glad you had fun, but I’m also glad you’re back. Nick, you need to call Jane.”

Nick made a noise of protest, “I don’t...”

Brian was holding his cell phone in his face, “Don’t make me have to call her, Nick, cause you know I will.” Brian grinned demonically as Nick rolled his eyes, took the phone, and began to dial.

Chapter 22

“More what?” Nick yelped trying to grab the phone away from Denise. Brian was in the room with him still playing the part of the “scum” boyfriend that just got dumped. Brian had been in Nick’s room all morning trying to figure out a way to get around their schedule that day. A photo shoot, an interview, sound checks, and then the concert! Brian had received a call from Miles Berns that morning saying that he had all of Brian’s requested information. When he said a rush order, he wasn’t playing around. He must have been working all night! Brian had wanted to speed from the hotel right then and go to the office to pick up his information. But he couldn’t blow his new “sane” cover, not now that Kevin was kind of talking to him again. He had actually spoken to Brian like he was a human being the day before, instead of some disgusting particle he had discovered under his shoe. He even looked at him while he spoke! Brian had made progress, it still hurt that he had to lie to his cousin, Howie, and Denise just to get them to leave him alone! They wouldn’t believe the truth, but they would so easily believe a lie.

Right now, Brian was watching Nick’s panicked face with hope. The hospital had called that morning with Nick’s test results. The Boys were getting ready to go off to the photo shoot. Denise had held out her arms to halt Nick and Brian’s exit from the room. The words “More tests...” dripped from Denise’s lips a few minutes after she had answered the phone. Nick was crawling back under the covers of his bed, “I’m not getting poked anymore!”

Denise whipped around to look at him as she continued to nod and chat into the phone, “Brian, talk to him,” Denise mouthed this to Brian, who nodded, and tried to suppress his grin. When he and Nick had talked earlier, there had been no possible way for Brian to get to Miles Berns’ office that day. Brian felt the guilt eating at him as he gently pulled the covers from his friend’s blond head. Nick needing more tests would mean another trip to the hospital. Management would definitely let them cancel the photo shoot and interview. They were tired of Nick being sick all the time too. It was past time to find out what was wrong with the kid.

“Nicky, come on,” Brian said sitting down beside him, “You wanna get better don’t you?”

Nick made a face and tried to grab the covers back from Brian to throw over his face, “Ok, since you obviously don’t care much about your health, think about this. You go to the hospital and this photo shoot’s off. That means I can go see Berns today.”

Nick gave Brian a look, “Is that all you care about now-a-days?” He lie back on the bed giving up on the fight for the covers.

Brian felt like Nick had punched him in the stomach, “No Frack. I’m worried about you, and I want you to go and take those tests... but I also need to get those answers. Nick, I thought you understood!”

Nick blinked back a tear, “I understand Bri... It’s just that... I’m scared, I don’t want to go back to that place, and you don’t seem to care! All you can think about is that girl!”

Brian sighed, and turned away from Nick, “You’re right. I know I haven’t been fair to you, or anyone else at that matter. I’m obsessed, Nick. I won’t rest until I know what is going on in my head! I’m sorry that I’m letting you down, Nicky. I’m no good to anyone like this. Those files of information just might tell me something I need to know. Something that will help me to understand this situation that we’re all in, and maybe how to get rid of it!” He turned back to Nick, who was lying on his back with his arms tucked under his head. He was silent, and he didn’t look at Brian.

Brian felt the tears threatening to enter his eyes. He was using his best friend, his little brother. He had lied to everyone. He had lost Leighanne... He felt a slight pang in his chest at the thought of her. He could possibly be in love with her, but now he would never find that out for the sake of some damn ghost! He was letting a phantom girl ruin his life. Weak, that’s what he was. He ran his hands over his face, he hated himself at that moment.

“Ok, ok,” Denise was saying into the phone, “You want him to come now? Well yes, he has a photo shoot this morning, and an interview this afternoon, we can cancel those, but he has a show tonight. You should be done by then? No, he hasn’t eaten yet today. Ok, ok, I’ll have him there as soon as I can. Thank you.” Denise hung up and looked over to the bed at the two Boys having a conversation. Brian looked at her briefly, “Nick, it looks like you’re gonna have to go back to the hospital. Um, you’ll have the same doctor as last time, Dr. Juliani. They couldn’t find any viruses in you system, Nick.” She braced herself, preparing for Nick’s backlash, but strangely enough it didn’t come, “Nick, did you hear me?”

Nick sat up on the bed slowly, “Yeah.” He was quiet for awhile, “What do they think it is?”

Denise frowned and came to the bed to sit beside him, “They don’t know what they’re looking for. They just want you in there.”

Nick sighed, “Are they going to take more blood?”

Denise nodded, “Yeah, and some other things that might not be too pleasant. I’m gonna give your Mom and Dad a call. They want us to come now. We’ll skip breakfast because they don’t want you to eat anything today.”

“Oh no! Oh no!” Nick was beginning to panic, “They are not gonna cut me open, and they are not gonna put any tubes in me!”

“Calm down, calm down honey. We need to know what is wrong with you so we can get you better,” Denise said rubbing his shoulders. He was starting to hyperventilate, “It’ll be over before you know it, kid.”

Brian watched his friend break down in front of him. Brian didn’t know what he should do. He wanted to hug him and reassure him that it would be ok, but it didn’t feel right. Why should he act like he cared now when before all he cared about was getting across town. He lowered his head and was going to leave the room and tell the other guys to come in when Nick called to him.

“Bri, don’t go!” Nick was wiping tears away from his eyes, “If I have to go, I need Bri to go with me.” His voice was shaky but his blue eyes were firm. He stared at Brian intently, “AJ too.”

Denise blinked, “Honey, we can all go together. Kevin and Howie will come too.”

Nick was shaking his head, “No, they have business to attend to. We can’t just shut down for the whole afternoon. Brian and AJ took me the last time and it turned out ok. They can take me again, and we’ll be back in plenty of time for the concert.”

Denise stared at him, then at Brian.

“That is, if they want to take me,” Nick said weakly, he lowered his head.

“Of course I’ll go with you Nick, AJ too,” Brian said softly, “ And later, if there’s time, we’ll take you out for the biggest pizza this side of Switzerland.” Brian stood up, “Come on, Nick, we’ll pick up AJ on the way out.” Brian was helping Nick up, when Denise cleared her throat still staring at the two of them.

“And what makes you guys think I’m ok with this?” Denise asked, “I would feel better if I went with him.”

Brian grimaced, there was no way in the world he could explain to Denise why she could not go with them. He was about to sigh in defeat when Nick took him by surprise, “I don’t want you to come, just Bri and Alex. I don’t want you to see me crying and acting like a baby again.”

“Nick, I’ve known you since you were 12. I have seen you act all kinds of different ways! I don’t care if you break down like you just did...”

“But I do! It’s a guy thing Denise!” Nick was whining. He was using his best whining tone and he was pouting! He was really throwing out everything he had, and it was working. Brian saw Denise wilt. She looked defeated, “Fine, fine Nick. You boys go out and be men, since you think you’re all grown and stuff. I’ll be here if you need me.” She sighed and left the room.

“I think I hurt her feelings,” Nick said sadly.

Brian grinned at him, “Thanks, buddy.”

“No prob,” Nick said returning the grin. It faded quickly, “I guess we’d better get AJ and go before Kevin and Howie get wind of this.”

Chapter 23

“They’re what?” Kevin exclaimed. He and Howie just found out they would be dining alone with Denise, canceling their photo shoot and interview, and maybe even be late to their own concert!

“Nick wanted them to take him,” Denise said simply, “They took him the last time and everything went ok, so I figured they’d be ok to take him again.”

Howie nodded, “It kind of hurts that he didn’t want us to come along with them too.”

Denise nodded, “They said they would call if there are any problems.”

“They are the problem,” Kevin uttered.

“What?” Denise raised an eyebrow, “Kevin, I know you’re very disappointed and angry with your cousin, but you’re supposed to be the mature one. This sulking and ignoring people, and constantly trying to find a place to stick an insult...”

Kevin blinked, “Denise, do you ever wonder... I mean, all of a sudden those three are spending so much time together away from the rest us, do you ever wonder why? I mean Nick and AJ were obviously in on Brian’s ‘indiscretion,’ but that’s been exposed. What else could they be plotting?” Kevin leaned in towards the others, his face was absolutely serious and grave.

Howie actually laughed, “Kevin, you are paranoid! You know Brian and Nick are Frick and Frack, and you know they love AJ.”

“But isn’t AJ your typical companion?” Kevin asked Howie, “He hasn’t been spending much time with you lately, has he?”

“So?” Howie shrugged, “Brian’s going through a tough time...” Kevin snorted contemptuously, so Howie quickly dropped that topic, “...and Nicky’s so sick all the time. If I didn’t feel like I was intruding I would hang out with them too. Maybe cause they’re the youngest of the group.”

Kevin made another contemptuous noise and stood up, “You believe what you want Howie, but I know something’s going on with those three. Something we need to know about.”

“Where are you going?” Denise asked grabbing Kevin’s arm as he tried to leave.

“To the hospital,” Kevin said with a simple shrug, “If they are doing what their supposed to be then they certainly won’t mind if I was there.” Kevin continued on out of the resteraunt. He pulled his cell phone from his pocket. The younger three had taken the rental car out, so Kevin was going to call a cab. Nobody really knew the Boys were actually still in town so they didn’t have to worry much about having bodyguards. There were some standing around the building and on their floor, and if they were going to a really public place then the guards would accompany them. The hospital was private, thus also making it more expensive. Kevin had just placed in a call for the cab and donned his sunglasses before a hand touched his arm. Kevin spun around in surprise to be face to face with an amused Howie.

“You can’t go alone, bro,” Howie said slipping on a pair of sunglasses and a hat, “so I’m going with ya.”

Kevin smiled at Howie, “Well, I could use the company. So you believe what I said in there, that maybe those guys are up to something?”

Howie looked at Kevin, “Well if they are, what should it matter to us? They aren’t gonna hurt us, or themselves.”

Kevin looked at Howie, “But it might hurt our public image.” Kevin said this gruffly as he hailed the cab and leaned into the passenger side window, “Richardson?”

The cabby nodded and smiled. He spoke no English... Great. Kevin opened the back door and climbed in, he motioned for Howie to follow. Once the door was closed the conversation resumed, “So, just why are you coming with me Howie?”

Howie bobbed his head some and looked out the window, “Well.. I’m curious, ok? Besides, I wanna see Nick act like a big baby so we can all tease him later about it!”

Kevin smiled in spite of himself, “I’ll take that answer.”

“So what exactly do you want to catch them in the act of doing?” Howie asked after a few moments of silence.

“I don’t know,” Kevin said in a low voice, “We’ll just have to wait and find out.”

Chapter 24

“Ok, one of us will stay and the other will go to Berns’ office to get the files,” Brian was saying to AJ as they sat in chairs in the hospital lobby which was rather vacant. Nick was at the desk filling out some forms. AJ nodded, “Yeah, I don’t think he’ll make it through another trip downtown with us.”

“So, do you want to stay?” Brian asked AJ. AJ sighed, he knew how much Brian wanted to get his hands on those files. It was fine, the guy felt like he was coming apart at the seams and wanted some answers. He knew Brian wanted to be the first person to touch those files.

“Yeah, I’ll stay with him,” AJ volunteered himself. Nick came back clutching his heavy winter coat like a teddy bear, “They said it’ll be a few minutes before they call me in.” He sat beside Brian shivering lightly.

“You either got chills, or you’re chicken,” Brian snickered.

Nick cracked a small grin, “Both. They want a lot of test, Bri. I don’t know how long it’s all gonna take.” Nick leaned his head forward to bury it in his jacket, “We might be late getting to that office.”

AJ and Brian exchanged glances over Nick’s head. “What?” Nick’s voice was muffled.

“Nick, one of us is gonna go on down to the office and get the files, and come back while you’re taking the tests,” AJ said.

Nick sat up, “Why? I thought we were all gonna go?”

Brian shook his head, “It’s too cold, you don’t need to be outside so much. We just need to pick up a file it won’t even take very long. I’ll be there and back here in no time.”

“You’re going?” Nick whined.

“Well yeah, cause those files are for me, and I can’t wait to get my hands on em’! I’m gonna read those suckers forwards and backwards, right -side up and up-side down. I’m gonna know...” Brian trailed off as he watched Nick’s face fall.

“Oh,” he said simply, “ok.” Nick put his head back in his jacket. Brian sat still, feeling like slime. AJ petted Nick’s head, “I’m gonna be here, kid.”

“I know AJ,” Nick said, “thanks.”

Guilt trip... “Bri, if you want to go, then you’d better leave now,” AJ said trying to sound helpful. Brian nodded and stood to leave, but his eyes lingered on his best friend. He let out a loud suspiration and inclined his head at AJ. AJ got up slowly and went to stand beside Brian, “AJ, I have a better idea. Why don’t I give you the keys and address and you go see Berns today. I’m gonna stay with Nick.”

AJ beamed, “Definitely a better idea bro! I’m sure he’ll be calmer with you around. I also wasn’t looking forward to seeing them stick Nick with stuff for hours.” He snatched the dangling keys from Brian’s hands, “Don’t worry man, I’ll keep up with your files, and I promise not to read a snitch of them!”

Brian smiled back, “You better not, or I’ll kick your assets!”

Brian sat back down beside Nick and rubbed his back. His mind was with AJ and Berns, only when a voice called to him did he rouse back into reality.

“Nickolas Carter? Nickolas... oh there you are. The doctor will see you now,” a nurse smiled warmly at him. She spoke with a crisp Swiss accent.

Brian shook Nick awake softly, “They’re ready for ya Frack.”

Nick looked startled to see Brian beside him and no AJ, “Frick? I thought you’d..”

“And leave my Frack alone in a place like this? No way, I gotta make sure they do things right, or your Mom will have my behind!”

Nick laughed, “What behind?”

“Mr. Carter,” the doctor came out of the room. It was the same female doctor he had had the last time, Dr. Juliani, “we’re waiting.”

Nick groaned, and hung his head. Slowly he let Brian help him up, and even more slowly did they enter the doctor’s room.

Chapter 25

“Thank you,” AJ accepted a soda from the nice secretary in Berns’ office. She was leaving on break and felt guilty about having AJ sitting there alone. The free drink was the least she could do. She told AJ that her kids were so thrilled about the autographs, and how they were promising to keep their mouths shut about the Boys hanging around town, at least until the concert. Then she asked AJ about the concert, “There will still be a concert right? Last time I saw my daughter’s favorite Backstreet Boy he looked like he was going to drop dead, and sounded awful.”

AJ frowned at her, “The show will go on, Nick may or may not be there in body, but he’ll be there in spirit.”

She bid AJ farewell, in her funny British accent, and left. AJ sat in the office alone for about 25 minutes reading a foreign magazine. It was interesting for AJ to see how much Swiss he could decode. He finally gave up after 10 minutes and lifted a British magazine. Was is just him, or did the Royal family have big teeth? He heard loud voices coming closer to the door of Berns’ personal office. A man and a woman were holding a parcel and were nodding and smiling at Berns. They gave him “thanks” and “farewells,” and then greeted AJ very cheerfully, and left. AJ watched them leave, then turned to face Berns, “Hi.”

“Hello, Mr. McLean. Where is the rest of your trio?” Berns glanced around the room searching for a sign of Brian and Nick being there.

“Not with me,” AJ said, “I’ve been sent to pick up Brian’s package. I am not to read anything on it, touch it too much, or open it for any reason.”

Berns laughed, “Yes, he seemed really interested in getting this information. That’s why I’m surprised you came instead of him.”

“Yeah, he was gonna come, but he decided to stay with Nick,” AJ said. Then covered his mouth, he knew he had said too much. He knew how rumors got started.

“So I take it Mr. Carter’s not doing much better?” Berns looked a bit concerned, probably about the concert that might be minus a member.

“Nope. He’s still sick as a dog,” AJ said,” but don’t repeat that to anyone.”

Berns smiled, “Of course not, not even to the kids. Come inside so I can give you Brian’s much needed information.”

AJ followed Berns into his office. He went behind his desk and opened a filing cabinet. He pulled out a very thick leather bound package, “This is everything I could find and more on everyone requested.”

AJ gently took the heavy files away from the man, “I hope this is what he needs.” AJ said softly to himself. He tucked the leather bundle under his shoulder, “Thank you. I know Brian paid you up-front, but I’d like to give you a tip on having such quick service.” AJ reached for his checkbook, but Berns’ hand stopped him, “It is alright, Mr. McLean. I’ve been paid enough, besides Brian promised me backstage passes.”

“Ah,” AJ said, “also good. Well ok, thank you sir. It was nice to have done business with you. I guess I’ll see you again at the concert.”

Berns nodded, “Will Mr. Carter being gracing us with his presence at the concert?”

AJ groaned, “Your secretary just asked me that too, and to be truthful, I don’t know. The way thinks are looking now, no way. He can’t sing and he can’t stay standing and awake long enough to dance.”

“So it’s a no,” Berns looked disappointed, “Oh well... I’m sure you and Brian will keep us entertained.” He laughed and patted AJ’s back, “Well I hope Mr. Littrell is very happy with his package. I’ll see you tonight, Mr. McLean.”

Chapter 26

“Nurse says Nick’s in room 103, but we can’t go in,” Kevin rejoined Howie who was sitting in a chair in the hospital lobby reading a magazine.

“So what do we do?- Wait here?” Howie hadn’t even bothered to glance up from his magazine.

“No, we’re going down to that room,” Kevin said gathering his coat.

“But the nurse said we couldn’t...”

“Shh! Nobody is gonna care if we poke our heads in a room!” Kevin hissed, “Come on!”

Howie blinked and dropped his magazine back on the table, “Bossy, much.” He groaned and gathered his things. Something was bothering him about Kevin’s present behavior. He never recalled an instance when Kevin was quite so pushy. He knew he was still upset about Brian and Leighanne, but he just didn’t seem normal to Howie. Nobody did anymore. He sighed and followed Kevin down the corridor.

He hated the smell of hospitals. The hallways were thankfully empty so they did not have to worry about anyone recognizing them and spreading the word. Even though in the past few days the boys hadn’t done much to keep themselves from being public spectacles. They were always out in the open, with one to no bodyguards.

“Here it is,” Kevin said. They had stopped in front of a big white door that read “Room 103, Examining. In Use.”

“What now genius?” Howie asked looking heavenward.

“We knock,” Kevin said simply. He knocked lightly on the door. After a minute, the door slowly opened inward. A curious Brian peered into the faces of Kevin and Howie. He had been smiling, “What’s the matter Doc, forget your... What are you guys doing here?”

Kevin wasted no time in pushing Brian aside and peering into the room. Nick sat up on a flat examining bed with his head bowed. Golden hair fell into his eyes as he gazed up and caught Kevin and Howie’s eyes. He was crying. Howie immediately put his stuff down on a small counter and made his way over to him. He hugged him briefly as Nick continued to cry softly.

Brian turned his gaze momentarily to watch Howie dealing with Nick, then he turned back to face the cold eyes of his cousin, “What are you doing here Kev?”

Kevin stared at Brian with contempt, “I just wanted to make sure everything was ok... Where’s AJ?”

“He went to get something to eat,” Brian said flatly, “We did skip breakfast.”

“What’s going on?” Kevin stepped farther into the room.

“What do you mean what’s going on?” Brian rolled his eyes and pushed past Kevin to stand beside Nick and Howie, “They just ran a tube down Nick’s throat, and he just stopped throwing up a minute ago.” Brian glared daggers at Kevin, “Why, what did you think was going on Kevin? Did you think I was sneaking up here to have a secret meeting with a nurse, or a candy striper?”

“Maybe Brian, because basically I don’t know who you are anymore,” Kevin said, “I can’t trust what you say, or what you do, anymore. You have Nick and AJ lying for you, and you three are together all of the time all of a sudden. You’re all hiding something from us. We found out about Leighanne, but now there’s something else. You’re still seeing that girl aren’t you?”

“Kevin, that’s not...”

“Aren’t you?!” Kevin raised his voice a bit.

“NO!” Brian hissed, “Kevin if you weren’t....”

“STOP IT!” Nick yelled covering his ears, “I can’t take it anymore! I’m sick of the fighting!” He was ghastly pale and trembled violently. He gagged and Brian got the waist basket under him just in time. Howie rubbed his back in sympathy.

“Look what you did!” Brian accused Kevin, “Everything was fine until you came in here!”

Kevin’s face flushed with anger, but before he could say anything Howie interjected, “Ok, that’s enough. Can you guys save this family dispute for later, preferably when we leave the hospital, and preferably away from Nick!”

Brian stood tense, but willing to give up the argument. He didn’t care what Kevin thought about him. All he cared about was taking care of Nick, and getting his files. Kevin could not be there when he got those files. Knowing Kevin, with the way he was acting nowadays, he would demand to know what was in the folders, and make up some story about the files holding paternity test results. Brian looked at Howie who was patting Nick’s shoulder and telling him he would be ok. Nick had straightened up and was wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

Kevin let out a loud suspiration, “Nick, do you want us to go?”

Nick glared at Kevin, “You’re being a jerk, and yes I want you to leave!” Kevin blinked back some hurt and surprise. He hadn’t expected Nick to be so upset about his presence.

“You sure?” Kevin softened his tone and approached the flat bed. He chose to stand on the other side, away from Brian and Howie. Nick adjusted so he could see Kevin better, “Yes. All you do is start fights with Brian, and sometimes AJ. I don’t wanna hear it anymore, ok? Who cares what Brian did, it’s still no reason for you to treat him like dirt!”

Kevin blinked again, “Nick, in our family we don’t...”

“No, Kevin,”Nick interrupted, “I don’t want to hear that stuff. I’m tired, Train.” Nick was shaking his head and letting his head droop, “Just go.”

Kevin nodded briskly, “Ok.” He walked quickly from the room trying to keep the tears that wanted to fall in check.

Howie and Brian were quiet after Nick’s outburst.

“Do you guys want me to go too?” Howie was looking towards his coat on the counter across from him. For some reason he felt as unwanted there as Kevin.

“No,” Brian said before Nick could speak, “You’re ok, D. Nick?”

Nick nodded, “You can stay. You might not want to be in here though... They’re... they’re gonna take spinal fluid and bone marrow next. A needle in my back...” He was starting to gag again.

“Calm down, Nick,” Brian soothed him, “It’s not happening yet.”

Chapter 27

Damn traffic, AJ cursed. The files he held were burning a hole in his small lap. Brian would kill him if he peeked inside, but how was he to know? AJ wouldn’t mess up anything while he snuck a peek. He took another glance outside at the unmoving traffic and lit a cigarette, as he thought about it. Heck, why not? He slowly opened the folder. The first one on file was “Andreas, Nathaniel Paul.” Born January 28, 1902.... January 28? That was Nick’s birthday, freaky. Died on October 17, 1921. AJ did the math, Nathaniel had died at 19. There was no picture of Nathaniel, AJ noticed with disappointment, but Brian had told him he looked like Nick. Good student, only boy in the family, rich, talented, died of unknown causes in Orleans... AJ frowned. So far he had read all about the boy’s extracurricular activities and his lineage and quite frankly was getting bored of reading about your typical “good son.” Just when the report started to get interesting, he flipped to the next page to find it blank. End of file. This file mentioned nothing of William, Elaina, or Alexander, and what was unknown causes supposed to mean? HONK! HONK!

“Ok, ok, I’m goin’, I’m goin’!” AJ grumbled as he put the car back in drive and accelerated. Traffic was moving again, slowly but surely. Nathaniel was born on Nick’s brithday, and died at 19, which is precisely how old Nick was then. Hmmn... I wonder if... Oh sh*t! “I am going!” AJ yelled at the driver behind him. Stupid jerk, I can’t move up but an inch and he’s still gonna freakin’ honk? AJ put the car in park again, oh boy... He might be here all afternoon and Nick and Brian would have to call a cab. AJ’s thoughts began to wander. He yawned, he hadn’t had much sleep in the past few days always jerking awake at night looking for ghosts. The thrumming of the car pulsated through his body, relaxing him... Slowly AJ began to lose sense of himself even being in the car...

“She knows where he’s gone Alex!” Nick was standing in front of AJ. AJ blinked once, then twice, “How did she find out?” He feel himself ask, and he also felt that he knew the answer, “Nathaniel, you told her!”

Nick or Nathaniel nodded slowly. AJ felt Alexander’s anger fade as he took in Nathaniel’s broken appearance. The boy looked as if he hadn’t slept in days. “Nathaniel why did you tell her? You know that she will only go after William and Elaina and ruin everything! She’ll tell William’s parents and have...”

“I know,” Nathaniel said resting his head in between his palms. He massaged his temples gently, “She... she came to me, and I thought.. Well never mind what I thought! She did something to me, I don’t know what it was. I told her everything, Alexander, now she wants to go to France.”

“We’ve got to stop her then!” Alexander said. Who is “she?” AJ was wondering.

“No, we can’t follow her,” Nathaniel said in a whisper.

“What?” Alexander whipped around to stare at him. Nathaniel had paled considerably since the last time he had looked at him, “Are you alright?”

“No... Yes!” Nathaniel shook his head, as if to clear it, “I have to go, now.” He turned to leave the room abruptly, like he was in a hurry. He opened the door to Alexander’s room and put one foot through before pausing, “Don’t follow her, Alex.” His blue eyes were pleading as he held Alexander’s eyes.. AJ’s eyes... “Please say you won’t?”

AJ cringed inside at the tone in Nick/ Nathaniel’s voice, it was so pathetic. He felt Alexander stiffen, “What is going on Nate?”

He saw Nathaniel visibly flinch, he parted his lips to say something. Something he wanted to say, he actually saw his lips trembling. As if he were fighting against some invisible force that had taken hold of his voice. “Um... nothing. Nothing at all! Bye Alex.” He almost bolted through the door. Alexander and AJ watched him go with curiousity burning in their eyes. What was that all about?

HONK! HONK! Angry bursts of Swiss curses were being blared in AJ’s direction. AJ

snapped awake to see that the traffic in front of him had cleared. He looked behind him to see a beeline of angry drivers all waving their fists at him. He gulped and smiled sheepishly. He waved and began to drive forward.  

Chapter 28

“Nick doesn’t want me there, fine!” Kevin was arguing with himself as he hailed another cab, “It’s all Brian’s doing, if he hadn’t of been there...!” A cab stopped for him. Kevin got in quickly and told the driver to take him to a movie theater, anywhere. He just wanted to get away from here. It was his day off and he wasn’t going to spend it being miserable thinking about Brian and his indiscretions. From this point forward, Kevin no longer cared what Brian did, he just didn’t want his influence on Nick and AJ. He already had them lying for him, and who knows what else! Kevin put his head back in the seat and sighed, he didn’t want to think about it anymore. He was just tired of it. Brian had something up his sleeve and he was determined not to let Kevin find out.

They are all in on it Kevin...

I know they are, Kevin thought back. Brian’s leading them all on, and soon he’s going to have Howie in it too. I don’t know what it is, but it must be bad if they are hiding it from everyone.

You have to find out what it is, and stop them Kevin.

Kevin nodded, he knew he had to, for the good of the group. Kevin was the one in charge, the big brother, and he was going to get to the bottom of this matter.

Brian sat tapping his feet, where was AJ? It had been two hours since he left, it shouldn’t take this long. “God I want to die,” Nick was groaning as he dragged back into the room with Brian. He was fully dressed except for his shoes.

“Are ya done?” Brian glanced over at his pale young friend. Nick nodded slowly, “Yeah, they’re done.” He winced and rubbed his back. He came to sit beside Brian on the examining table. “Is AJ not back yet?”

Brian shook his head, “Not yet. I hope nothing’s happened.”

Nick nodded and leaned his fevered forehead on Brian’s shoulder, “I’m so tired, B.”

Brian grimaced and patted Nick’s back, “I know you are, Frack, and we’ll go as soon as AJ gets here. So how did you hold up during those tests? I’m sorry I had to leave...”

Nick laughed softly, “And I’m supposed to be the baby. You acted like they were sticking that 5 foot needle in your back!”

Brian chuckled, “It looked terrible, like that Urban Legends movie. They didn’t even knock you out before they did it.”

“You really are pitiful Rok,” Nick laughed again, but that quickly dissolved into another fit of coughing. Brian smiled at him, “You see, that’s what you get for teasing people.”

“I got it!” Brian’s head snapped from Nick to the door to see AJ standing in the doorway waving a manilla folder around. Brian shot Nick a questioning look. Nick waved Brian on towards AJ, letting him know that he was ok, he could breathe.

“Let me see it!” Brian snatched the folder away from AJ eagerly, “You didn’t open any of this already did you?” Brian gave AJ a suspicious fish eye.

AJ’s eyes widened, “Why Brian, you specifically asked me not too. Do you really think that I would do such a thing?

“Yes!” Brian hissed, “What did you read?”

“Only the first page... which was totally boring. Nick, the guy you look like is a total straight-lace! He was like this good boy that did what his parents told him. It was like reading a book report!”

Brian made a flabbergasted noise and began digging into his newly acquired files.

“The only really interesting part is the fact that Nathaniel and Nick were born on the same day.. Different years, but same day, and when Nathaniel died he was Nick’s age!”

Nick swallowed hard rubbing his chest, “Well that’s comforting AJ.”

“Yeah, I thought it was cool too,” AJ smirked trying to peep over Brian’s shoulder to see which page he was reading, “Skip Andreas.”

“I wanna see Andreas,” Nick whined from the table.

“Well come see it then,” AJ said looking at Nick.

“I’m too tired, I don’t want to walk all the way over there!” Nick whined with a pout.

“Ah, ah Kaos, that look only works on girls,” AJ said with a laugh, “And don’t you dare turn that around to make a crack about me cheatin’ on Amanda!”

“Aw man!” Nick snickered, “But really, bring it over here.”

AJ took Brian by the shoulders and led him to the table where Nick sat dangling his legs. Brian was totally engrossed with the contents of his files. He didn’t even notice that he had been moved.

“This is so strange,” he was muttering.

“What is?” Nick asked moving wisps of blond hair out of his eyes. He tried to read over Brian’s shoulder, “Hey Brian, isn’t February 20^th your birthday?”

“Nick, did you just remember a date?” AJ looked amazed.

“No, I read it off... HEY! What are you trying to imply AJ?”

AJ snickered.

“William was born on the same date I was... and he was my age when he died,” Brian said.

“Like Nathaniel...” AJ said, “Is there a pattern to that?”

Brian flipped to the next page, then the next, “Alexander’s birthday was January 9^th ... died at 21 on October 17^th.”

“That’s when Nathaniel died,” AJ said taking the files from Brian.

“William died that day too,” Brian said.    

“And Elaina,” AJ stated.

“What in the world happened there?” Nick asked rubbing the goose bumps growing on his arms. His teeth were chattering, and it was not just from chills.

Brian glanced up at his little brother, “Come on, we gotta get you back to the hotel before Kevin comes back...” Brian spat out Kevin’s name like it tasted bad.

“Kevin was here?” AJ asked looking confused.

“Yeah, Howie was too. He left a little while ago to find Kev,” Nick said.

“What were they...”

Brian shrugged, “I dunno, but I do know that Kevin’s been acting really strange lately.. And it’s not just about Leighanne. Something else is going on.”

“Brian, we have enough things to worry about without worrying about Kevin,” AJ said, “Lets go.”

“Yeah,” Brian agreed, “Lets go.”

Chapter 29

 “Where could he have gone?” Howie was muttering to himself as he climbed back into the cab, he had checked every place Kevin would have normally gone... But then Kevin wasn’t exactly being normal, was he? Howie groaned and rubbed his clothed arms for warmth, despite his heavy coat he was cold. “I’ll look in one more place, then I’ll go back to the hotel.” Howie made sure he called the hotel every 30 minutes to see if Kevin had returned, and each time Denise would answer and say she hadn’t seen him.

Was Howie the only normal person on this tour? He thought in frustration. Brian cheated on his girlfriend, but for some reason Howie didn’t think that was quite the truth. AJ didn’t cheat on his girlfriend, yet. He smirked at that. Nobody can find out just what was wrong with Nicky, except for the fact that he wasn’t contagious. Everyone would of had it if that were the case. And Kevin... was more uptight than usual, and it wasn’t just about the Leighanne situation. He was paranoid. Howie could see why after he got to the hospital, but it was still no reason to be nasty. Brian, AJ and Nick were definitely up to something. But it probably wasn’t illegal so Howie didn’t see why Kevin was so upset. Did he really believe that he had to be in charge of everything? Howie leaned back in the leather seat of the cab about to tell the cabby to take him back to the hotel. He was expected to be at the venue at 6:00. He checked his watch. It was 4:30 then, and he still wanted to get back to the hotel and freshen up. Something familiar caught his eye, “Um.. Never mind! Thanks anyway!” Howie jumped out of the cab and stepped back onto the sidewalk. He quickly ducked into a store as he watched Kevin stepping out of a bar. He swayed slightly as he made his way to the curb and raised his arm for a cab.

“Oh dammit!” Howie cursed, he’s drunk! Drunk at 4:30 in the afternoon with a show to do that night! Howie carefully made his way over to Kevin, and prayed that no one recognized him. What would the fans think about a drunk Backstreet Boy in the middle of the day? Howie grabbed Kevin by the arm, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Getting back to the hotel D,” Kevin slurred, “We gotta show to do.”

“Not with you drunk!” Howie shouted waving for a cab himself. One stopped and rolled down its window. The _expression on the driver’s face was like “You again?” Howie laughed, “Yes, me again. This time I do want to go somewhere.” With one move of his arm Howie flung Kevin into the back of the cab. Then he climbed in himself. He told the cabby which hotel he wanted to go to. Once the cab was in motion Howie turned to a giddy Kevin, “What’s up man?”

“What’s up? Nothin’ man, what’s up with you?” Kevin countered laughing.

Howie glared, “Kevin... You’re drunk.”

“I am not!” Kevin laughed, “I only had a few beers. I’m fine!”

Howie groaned, “Why? Kevin, normal people don’t drink heavy during the day? You used to be a normal person, what is going on?”

“I didn’t drink heavy, and I am not drunk!” Kevin’s eyes had lost their former sparkle of humor. His tone had become harsher, “Why are you questioning me?”

“Calm down,” Howie could see where this situation was going to head, “I just wanted to know why you were drinking alone? Are you ok? Did what Nick said earlier...?”

“Who cares what Nick said earlier? Who cares what any of them say...” Kevin roared, “None of them can be trusted.”

Howie gave Kevin an odd look, and chose to be silent. Sometimes silence was the key to a situation like this. Whatever Howie wanted to hear was sure to tumble out somewhere in Kevin’s drunken rambling.

“They are all young fools who have no idea what they are doing!”

Howie nodded and tried to suppress a grin. Kevin’s slurred words were beginning to take on an accent, not his familiar native Kentucky accent, but a more southern one... Like someone from Louisiana, or Georgia. This was getting interesting, “Kevin who are we talking about again?” Howie was slightly giggling, but choked on his laughter when he heard Kevin’s drunken response.

“William, William and that Black girl,” Kevin had muttered.

Howie’s eyes widened... Why was this sounding familiar to him... Who had said something before about a William? Brian had! Brian claimed that he was... No, no, no... Howie shook his head, I am not going to join in on this crazy charade! The other guys could be as crazy as they wanted to be, but Howie was going to be the sane one. Now that he thought about it, after Brian had told them that crazy story he suddenly changed and said he was cheating on Leighanne. AJ, who had been totally adamant on the fact that he had not, quickly changed to back Brian in saying that he had cheated and AJ and Nick had been flying cover. That whole cheating bit didn’t go over too well with Howie, in fact it hadn’t gone over at all. Now AJ, Brian, and Nick, everyone who was defending Brian, were keeping to themselves and sending and receiving phone calls from strange places. And Kevin, all of a sudden Kevin is super suspicious and behaving abnormally. He stormed into a hospital and defied hospital rules! Then he gets drunk out of his gord and is rambling about... William... William and a Black girl, and Howie bet her name was Elaina.

He turned slowly to face Kevin. Kevin’s head was leaning back on the seat and his eyes were closed. He appeared to be sleeping.

“Kevin? This girl, the girl with..er.. William... What’s her name?” Howie asked softly, wondering if Kevin could hear him. There was silence. Howie stared at Kevin’s clean profile and shrugged.

“Carmen... ” Kevin muttered before turning his head away from Howie to curl up by the window.

Carmen? Now there was a name he hadn’t heard. Howie sat in more confuison. This was nuts and if he didn’t figure this out soon he would go nuts too!

Chapter 30

“What the hell was that?” Kevin screamed at Brian as they were lowered beneath the stage after “The One.”

Brian stared at Kevin as if he had lost his mind, “Singing, but you wouldn’t recognize it since you sure don’t do much of it while you’re out there!” Brian tried to storm away from Kevin but was caught by the collar. Kevin pulled Brian close to his body, “Don’t you ever raise your voice to me..”

“Who the hell do you think you are!” AJ shoved Kevin off of Brian, “Who died and made you KING?!” Kevin glared at the both of them.

“Guys, guys, calm down,” Howie jumped in the middle of the argument, where he was not only out-numbered, but undersized.

“Well if someone would pull the spur out of Kevin’s ass then maybe, just maybe..”

“That’s it!”Kevin sprang on Brian with his hands clenched into fists. He had wormed his hands around Brian’s throat. Three bodyguards came to aid AJ and Howie in pulling them apart.

“Stop this!” Mike was yelling also jumping into the fight, “You boys need to get in costume!”

“Arg!” Brian threw Kevin off and jumped up, “Stay on your side of the stage, and I’ll stay on mine!” Brian stormed off to his wardrobe.

“Kevin, what is wrong with you?” Mike bellowed, “You have been picking on Brian all night..”

“Cause he’s a little...”

Mike silenced Kevin, “I don’t want to hear it, you are 27 years old, Brian is 24, BE THE MATURE ONE! And if you start a fight with one more person on this stage..”

“You’ll what, Mike?” Kevin asked in a low voice, “You’ll take away my solos, all 2 of them?”

Mike’s face flushed dark with anger, “Get dressed.”

“No,” Kevin said silently, “I will not.”

“Get dressed.”

Kevin shot one last glare at Mike before he grabbed his coat and walked away.

“Where the hell is he going?” Howie demanded after Kevin’s retreating backside, “Where the hell is he going? He can’t leave in the middle of a freakin’ show!”

AJ glared after Kevin, “He can go wherever he wants cause he’s getting on my damn nerves!”

“AJ, think about it, we only have 3 people to put on this show with!” Howie yelled shaking AJ by his wiry shoulders. Then he ran after Kevin, “Kevin come back!” Kevin was almost out of the stage area before Howie grabbed him from behind, “Kevin we have a show to do!”

“Well you can do it without me, I refuse to perform with... With them!”

“With them? Brian and AJ? God Kevin, what did they do to you that was so terrible?” Howie shook Kevin, “If you leave you will be disappointing thousands of fans.. Not to mention the press is gonna have a field day with this! What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing!” Kevin yelled, “Leave me alone!” He threw Howie’s arm off his shoulder, “I wouldn’t come after me if I were you either... Howard.”

Howie froze in his tracks, and.. And shivered. It was suddenly so cold in the room. The backdoor opened then slammed closed after Kevin. Howie stared in disbelief... Oh God, it was happening... N’Sync was going to finally get what they wanted, the Backstreet Boys were gonna break up... And worst of all, Howie would never even know why!

“Just get him here!” Mike was yelling into his phone, “Use a helicopter if you have to!”

Howie stumbled into the backstage area, “I can’t believe he left...”

AJ and Brian stared at Howie in disbelief, “Oh hell no, he just walked out?” AJ yelled. He punched the wall, “This is just perfect! What the hell are we supposed to do now?”

Mike appeared by Howie’s side, “Where’s Kevin?”

“He left,” Howie muttered, “What are we gonna do? Should we call off the show?”

“No, no,” Mike said, “We’ll just announce a technical difficulty.” Mike nodded to a stage hand and walked towards him leaving the Boys to talk amongst themselves.

“I can’t believe he would just..”

“Well he’s been an arrogant prick pain in the a..”

“Stop!” Howie yelled, “Just stop. I want to know what the hell is going on between you three and I want to know now.”

Brian and AJ turned to stare at Howie with looks of shock on their faces. Howie had yelled! They stood and just stared for maybe five minutes.

“Don’t give me that stupid blank look, you know what I am talking about!” Howie yelled, “Tell me what is going on with you guys sneaking around and Kevin being all suspicious... and, and..” Howie hung his head.. How he had wanted to remain the sane one, but hell it was driving him crazy anyway trying to act like everything was normal, “What is the deal with the William character? Kevin mentioned it earlier.”

Both Brian and AJ’s flushed faces drained of color. “William? What are you talking about?”

Howie glared at them both, “ALL the lying stops now. What’s going on. Brian, you didn’t really cheat on Leighanne, now did you?”

Brian was stuttering, “Uh, Howie, I don’t think you want to get caught up in this...”

“Well it’s too late I already am!” Howie cried, “And I’m going to go crazy if I don’t know what is happening behind my back!”     

“Howie, I know you think you want to hear this...”

“Oh no, I know I want to hear this!” Howie yelled.

“Howie it’s not easy to explain.. In fact when I at first tried to explain it to you, you all thought I was crazy! And now it’s even crazier to explain! I don’t understand it, AJ don’t understand it, Nicky don’t understand it! You want to know why we’re sneaking around.. Because AJ and Nick were the only people who believed me, and we’ve been doing research Howie. Not sleeping around Howie, but research! We’ve met with a private detective...” Brian was rambling.

AJ was staring at him, “Brian, Brian, calm down,” AJ took Brian by the arm. Brian blinked a few times, and took a few minutes to calm down and take deep breaths “Oh God, Oh God, what the hell is happening to us?” He sat down on the floor.

Howie and AJ peered down at him, “Howie, you are about to jump head first into a whole sea of confusion and just.. Freakiness... Are you sure you wanna get into this, man?”

Howie sighed and nodded, “I want to help.”

“Ok, then,” AJ said silently, “After the show.”

Howie nodded grimly, “What show? We can’t go on with only three people! What the hell are we...”

“Hey peoples... Are we gonna do this or what?” came the tired voice of Nick Carter.

“Nick?” all three turned to gap at him. This could work.

Chapter 31

It turned out no one really missed Kevin much once Nick came into the picture. The roaring of the crowd had been deafening when Howie announced Nick’s presence and Nick popped out on stage with them. True he didn’t sing much, or do any dancing, but the audience just loved the fact that he was there.

A bodyguard caught Nick as he stumbled backstage, “I’m ok, I’m ok,” he assured everyone, “Just dizzy, I’m gonna sit down.”

Brian nodded, “I gotta go make sure Miles and his family get back here.”

AJ toweled off and threw another towel over Nick’s head. Nick hadn’t really done much for the show but he was sweating more than any of them, “You saved our assets kid.”

“I should have been here anyway,” Nick muttered bitterly, “What happened with Kevin?”

“Oh man! Kevin was being a pain in the neck, he tried to strangle Brian, and then he walked out!” AJ groaned relating all the information to Nick.

“Damn,” Nick muttered, “I was in Sega heaven when all of a sudden Denise busts in and starts throwing clothes at me. Get dressed and come on! I got a police escort, AJ, all by myself!” Nick smiled in spite of the situation remembering the feeling of importance he had had while racing to the concert venue. Then he remembered his depression when he realized he wouldn’t be able to do much on stage but sit and clap. “I hate being sick.”

“You’ll get better,” AJ told him, “Are you staying to meet the fans?”

Nick shrugged, “I might as well.”

“Hello Brian,” Miles Berns shook Brian’s hand. He then introduced Brian to his daughters and son, and his wife.

“Wow, Daddy really does know Brian,” Mile’s youngest daughter said smiling revealing two missing teeth. Brian laughed, “Yes he does.”

“Hi!” AJ and Nick came to join Miles and his family and were also introduced.

“Well Mr. Carter, I was a little worried about you,” Miles said laughing and shaking Nick’s hand, “When did you decide to show up?”

Nick shrugged, “I couldn’t let them have all the fun!”

They spoke for a few minutes with the family, getting hugs and pictures. Then the Berns’ were moved along in the line, but not before Miles whispered something in Brian’s ear, “I have some very interesting information that just surfaced. Come by my office tomorrow morning, if possible, and I ‘ll show you. I open for business at 6:30 am. If you can’t then just call, and we’ll discuss getting the information to you.”    

Brian nodded and shook his hand again, “Thanks.”

Kevin’s eyes narrowed as he watched Brian smile at a group of fans and then shake hands. AJ and Nick had come to join him too. It was funny how the audience just forgot about him when the blond one stepped back into the picture... Just like before. Just like before...

“William is engaged to Miss Carmen Eloise Saldivar,” spoke Regina Dumas flatly to Randall. Randall was older than William by 3 years and yet he was the one treated like the second son. Only the best for dear sweet little William.

When William was born, weak and frail, Randall had been forgotten. Everyone was so concerned for William that no one ever thought about Randall anymore. Randall had always done well in school always trying to exceed William, and often did, but William was still the apple of his parents’ eye. The family favorite. William loved to tell jokes and made everyone laugh, whereas Randall was more serious.

He hated him. He loathed his little brother with all the fury of an underwater volcano about to erupt and form an island chain. Randall was sent away to attend boarding school while William remained home to be schooled. The family could not part with their dear sweet faced angel! And now, now he was to marry the very woman Randall had had his eye on for so long! They knew! They knew that Randall had fallen in love with her. He loved the gentle slope of her lips, her creamy Spanish skin, her dove-like eyes, her gracefulness...

William did not want her! William was turning down all of Carmen’s beauty and perfection for a Black girl, a poor Cajun servant who lived in the swamps! William was a fool who had no idea what he was doing. He did not deserve Carmen! Randall had approached Carmen many a time, and was reproached by her.

Her love belonged to William. She, like Randall’s family, had been taken in by his false charm! She, like his family, shunned him. Fury raged inside Randall with so much heat Randall felt he would combust.

For one time in my life, I will have what is to be mine... and William will not matter anymore Randall thought with utter determination.

Kevin watched as the man Brian was taking to leaned in and whispered something in

Brian’s ear. Brian looked very excited and pleased, he shook hands with the man again and waved. “We’ll just have to see what he’s up to, now won’t we?”

Yes, we’ll find out, and you will finally have what is yours...

Chapter 32

“Ghosts?’ Howie looked baffled as sat cross legged on Brian’s bed in his hotel room. Howie, AJ, Brian, and Nick were all sitting in Brian’s room. Kevin had stiffly met the group in the hotel lobby. He didn’t utter one word to the others nor did they utter a word to him.

“Howie, you said you’d be open minded,” Brian said looking at Howie with a pained _expression.

“I know, but...” Howie stopped himself, “Ok, go on.”

Nick had long since fallen asleep, he lay with his head partially concealed under Brian’s pillows.

“There is nothing more to tell you Howie. We don’t know anymore. We hired a private detective to help us dig up information about.. Our past lives. You can’t deny this Howie, look at these,” AJ thrust the thick accordion folder of precious information into Howie’s open lap, “This is proof that William, Elaina, Alexander, and Nathaniel did exist!” 

Howie shivered before he touched the files in his lap, “You guys really aren’t kidding are you? You’re serious about this.”

“Damn skippy Sherlock,” Nick muttered rolling over.

“Oh, look who’s rejoined the land of the living,” Brian remarked sarcastically.

“Shoot me,” Nick growled as he sat up slowly and rubbed his temples, “God... I’ll be back.” He retreated into Brian’s bathroom.

“You know, I bet he could set a new world record for how many times a person can hurl in 45 minutes,” AJ said thoughtfully.

Brian smacked him in the head, “Shut up Bone!”

“Touchy,” AJ laughed, “But come on, you know he could!”

“Ok, maybe he could,” Brian gave in.

Howie was being awfully quiet, Brian turned his attention back to him, “D?”

Howie blinked and looked up at Brian, “Huh?”

“What do you think?” Brian asked looking anxious. He gazed at Howie’s drawn face, “Ummn.. Ah.. I’ll check on Nicky.”

Both Brian and AJ sat silent as Howie got up from his corner of the bed and entered the bathroom, “Do you think he believes us?” Brian looked at AJ.

AJ shrugged, who knew. He had certainly looked shaken up when he looked up from those files.

“I’m not a freakin’ baby!” Brian and AJ heard Nick griping, “I’m sick, not stupid!”

“Geez, ok, just trying to help, cranky much!” They heard Howie say back.

More muttering could be heard between the two, but that time the words were indecipherable.

“Howie’s about to get hurt,” Brian said getting up and opening the door to the bathroom. Howie stood backed up against the sink with his hands up in defeat as Nick prodded him with Brian’s toothbrush in the stomach, “Alright Nick, give me the toothbrush.”

Nick narrowed his eyes and gave Howie another poke.

“Nickolas, give me my toothbrush or I’ll, I’ll tell Denise what you do with that cough syrup when you think no one’s looking!” Brian threatened.

Nick’s eyes widened, “How...?”

“I’ve seen you flush it twice when she wasn’t watching,”Brian said, a grin spreading over his face. Nick made a face, “Squealer,” he grumbled before setting the toothbrush down. He glared at Howie one last time before he left the bathroom.

Howie’s eyes looked surprised, if not amused, “Thanks.”

Brian nodded, “Anytime. I should have warned you though.”

“Bri?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you really and truly believe in reincarnation, and that you were that person, William?” Howie looked serious. He stared Brian dead in the eyes searching for anything that would give him away. Brian’s blue eyes remained steely and steady, “Yes, I really do Howie, and the more I see the more scared I get that I’m in danger.”

Howie held his eyes a minute longer then dropped them down to the floor, “I... I can’t say I’m really into this stuff... I don’t believe in....but if you guys are...” Howie trailed off for a few seconds, he sighed, then his eyes came to meet Brian’s again. “I’ll try to help you guys in anyway I can.”

Brian smiled and pulled Howie into a hug, “Thanks D. It feels great to have you on our side. Now if only Kevin would...”

“Listen Brian, from now on, I don’t think we should try to tell Kevin anymore about this,” Howie said grabbing Brian’s shoulder.

“I know, it just pisses him off and...”     

“No, it’s not that. He’s acting weird Brian, really weird. And,” Howie sighed again and looked at the ground, “I think he knows about you.. Your past life... He had said something to me about a William and a Black girl, and a Carmen.”

“The Black girl would be Elaina, and Carmen would be William’s fiancé,” Brian said. He and Howie exited the bathroom and took their places on the bed again.

“So what’s the verdict?” AJ asked looking at Howie intensely.

“I’m joining the club,” Howie said, “but not because I believe this stuff, but because you guys do so strongly. I’ll help you do more research and whatever else you think you’ll need.”

AJ patted Howie on the back, “I knew I could count on you.”

Nick snarled something obviously nasty because of his tone and the way he didn’t even raise his head. Howie laughed, “I love you too, Nicky.”

“Don’t call me that!”

“So, what do you guys plan to do next?” Howie asked folding his hands over themselves.

“Well, tomorrow morning I’m supposed to be meeting up with Miles, he says he has some more info for me,” Brian said happily.

“And when do you plan on getting it? We’re leaving tomorrow at noon,” Howie asked.

“Uh-uh,” Nick muttered, “I’m supposed to be getting my test results tomorrow, so we’ll probably be leaving later.”

“Good, maybe they can tell us some answers,” Howie said petting Nick’s head.

“Or maybe they can’t,” Nick sighed, “either way I am not taking anymore tests.”

Howie frowned, “Nick...”

There was a knock at the door. Brian jumped up to answer it. Denise stood behind it with a tray containing a tumbler of juice with a few glasses, two miniature white cups, and a thermometer, “Hi guys.” She handed the tray to Brian and came into the room, “What are we being so secretive about in here? Hi Howie. So I see you’ve decided to expand your little friendship circle. You were being pretty exclusive there for awhile. Is Kevin still upset about tonight?”

“Why should Kevin be upset about tonight, he’s the one that ticked everybody off!” AJ said, “He was so out of line! He put his hands around Brian’s throat!”

Denise’s mouth hung agape, “Nobody told me all this. What is going on with him?”

“Beats me,” Brian muttered, “I just hope he snaps out of it soon!”

Denise stared at all of them for a moment before her gaze fell on Nick, “Ok kiddo, you know what you need to do.”

Nick groaned and put a pillow over his face.

“Every night he does this,” Denise said looking exasperated.

“Relax Mom, we’ll handle him tonight,” AJ said patting his mother’s hands.

“You sure? He needs to drink at least one or two glasses of juice...”

“We got it Mom,” AJ assured her, “You go get some sleep.”

Denise frowned,” Ok, but no cheating. Make sure he drinks that juice! Oh and he’s got to call his Mom... I’m leaving!” Denise had caught AJ rolling his eyes in her direction, “Good night.” The door closed behind her.

“Alright, you heard her Nick,” Brian pulled Nick from under the pillows. Brian checked out the tray he had just set down on the night stand. Two tylenol, some thick red liquid, probably cough syrup, juice, and the thermometer, “Sit up.”    

Nick shook his head and pouted, “Uh-uh.”

“Nickolas, you’re being a big baby, again! Sit up!” Nick glared at Brian before he finally did sit up, “Tylenol first.”

“So how are you guys planning on ditching Kevin tomorrow?” Howie asked AJ while Brian struggled to make Nick swallow the cough syrup.

“I don’t know,” AJ sighed, “Maybe we’ll just try to go out really early, before he wakes up. You know how Kevin likes to sleep in.”

“Man, but Kevin’s been acting pretty weird lately. He might be up at the butt crack of dawn waiting for you guys to make a move,” Howie said, “He’s so paranoid it’s not funny. He thinks you guys are up to something no good and he has to stop it... And he also knows something about what you guys just told me. When I was in the cab with him today he uttered something about William and Elaina, even Carmen.”

“Carmen, how would Kevin know about Carmen?” AJ looked confused, “Brian only told him and you about Elaina, and of course William.”

Howie shrugged, “I told you he’s been acting strange.”

“Nick swallow this stuff, or I swear I’ll toss your Sega out the bus window tomorrow while we’re driving!” Brian roared tackling Nick to the bed, “It cannot taste that bad!”

“You know, I wonder if...” AJ looked extremely thoughtful, “Hmmn... I don’t know, maybe, Kev shared a past life with us too.”

“Huh?” Howie looked dubious.

“Yeah, maybe that’s why he remembers Carmen, because we sure haven’t mentioned her around him,” AJ said.

“Don’t you dare spit that out!” Brian growled at Nick. Nick was apparently holding the liquid in his mouth refusing to swallow.

Howie’s forehead puckered, “Maybe you shouldn’t jump to conclusions so quickly AJ. Maybe Brian did say something about Carmen sometime...” 

“He didn’t!” AJ argued.

“You guys want juice?” Brian budded into the conversation. Both he and Nick were holding glasses of fruit juice. Howie accepted a glass. AJ, instead, went to the mini fridge and plucked out a soda. He poured a few sips into Nick’s juice.

“AJ!” Howie scolded.

“What? He was givin’ me the puppy eyes!” AJ defended himself.

“Ok, Nick, let me see that thermometer,” Brian held out his hand for the small cylinder and Nick slapped it in his hand, “Howie it’s great that you’re going to be with us on this, even if you still think we’re coo-coo for cocoa puffs... What the... Nickolas! There is no way your temperature is 48 degrees!” Nick gave Brian his infamous innocent look and sipped his coca-cola tainted juice obediently.

Brian groaned as Howie and AJ laughed, “Anyways, you can help keep Kevin at bay while AJ and I slip off to..”

“Ahem!” Nick interrupted.

“Uh-uh, no way kiddo, this time you stay here with Howie. We need you two to occupy Kevy-Kev while we slip off,” Brian said, “Now open up, I gotta take your temp.”

Nick covered his mouth and lay back on the bed giving Brian a hard time. “Oh hell no!” Brian and Nick began wrestling again.

Chapter 33

“...and you two are the first two people to ride in my new car!” Brian or rather William was so proud of his new car. A genuine Ford Model “T.” His parents had proudly presented it to him that morning, meaning it to be an early wedding gift for him and... Brian felt William cringe, Carmen. What was so bad about this Carmen chick? Brian wondered as William ran his hand along the smooth exterior of his car. Brian felt William’s gaze harden as he saw what Nathaniel was bringing back towards his new pride and joy. One very large, very sticky, and very melting chocolate ice cream cone was bouncing in between his large palms. He raised his head from the colossal mess revealing mischievous blue eyes, Nick’s eyes.

“Nice car Willie, so when do I get to drive?” he was already reaching for the steering wheel with his sticky palms. Brian was fighting the urge to laugh at the familiarity of the scene. Nick was a walking talking disaster area, and if there was a mess to be made he could make it. William blocked Nathaniel’s path to the steering wheel, “Touch that wheel and die! And don’t even think about eating that... that dribbling mass of goo... in my car!”

“But you eat in my car!” Nathaniel pleaded. His face identical to Nick’s in full “puppy-dog” mode. Hmmn... I think Nathaniel may be a little better at it though, he still manages to look innocent, whereas Nick’s malevolence shines through his halo.

“That’s different, I’m not.. A Messy Marvin!” William shot back with a laugh. Messy Marvin? How weird, Brian thought, that’s one of Nick’s old nicknames.

Just before Nathaniel was able to make a comeback Elaina appeared. She walked out of the back of the cloth store holding baskets of material.

“All done?” William beamed at her. Brian stared at the beautiful girl who haunted him not only in his dreams, but in real life.

“Yes,” Elaina said, “Momma will be pleased when I bring her this nice material.” She hugged William openly, in public. Was this a first? Brian wondered as he felt William’s elation at her physical gesture. Her eyes darted around to make sure no one was watching. She did not look ashamed for herself, but ashamed for William, “I’m sorry,” she apologized quickly, “Someone could have seen us...”

Brian took her hand, or rather William took her hand... This got very confusing trying to keep himself separate from William. “Don’t be sorry, I know I’m not. I don’t care what society thinks! I love you, and soon, we’re going to let all of high society know it!” William took her basket from her and pulled her in for another public hug when Nathaniel let out a short yelp.

Chocolate ice cream streamed down the light blue hood of the car, Brian felt William’s blood boiling with rage at the teen before he looked at his face. All clouds of anger vanished from William’s mind... Nathaniel was dead white with sheer shock and some fear. He stared at the woman in front of him with his lower lip trembling. His chocolate splattered hands found themselves balancing on the door handle of the new car, “Oh my God..” he uttered.

Brian felt William’s anger rise again as he too turned to face the woman. The beautiful woman with dove white skin, and dark brown hair that curled in loose ringlets down her back. Her eyes were green, maple leaf green, and would have been quite lovely if only that darkness behind them could have been hidden. Her eyes were narrowed in hatred, her rose petal lips pursed with poison, “What are you doing with her?” She demanded in a voice hard as nails.

Well Brian, looks like you’ve finally met Carmen.

Brian felt Elaina cringe behind him. He hated that. He wished, as he knew William did, that she would stand up for herself and hold her chin up high. Be proud to say that she loved him, but once more she held back, kept her place.

“Our wedding is to be in three months and you are gallanting around with this Cajun garbage?!” Carmen’s face had flushed red with fury, “What will everyone think of me William. They will think that I am not satisfying you enough. I am so rotten that you had to dig under those filthy swamps and drag out this..”

“That’s enough!” William roared, and Brian silently applauded him, “Elaina Renee Landry is more of a woman than you will ever know, Carmen. You are nothing but a spoiled creole debutante who knows nothing about anything but how to apply make up!”

Carmen flared and stamped her foot, “I will not tolerate this type of behavior. William you are to be my husband, we are betrothed, and you are not to ruin my good name by running around with this tramp!”

“Carmen, we were having a lovely afternoon until you...”

“A lovely afternoon William, is that what you call this? How did you get away from your parents to be seen with her William? I know, you used Nathaniel again didn’t you? Said you were going to take little Nate out in our new car, and along the way you pick up ths FILTH! You let her ride in my CAR! The seats will never be clean again. We’ll have to get a new one!”

Brian felt William flinch, he had indeed used Nathaniel. His parents adored the boy, and loved the fact that William spent time with him.

“Carmen, you.. You’re making a scene,” Nathaniel stuttered. He had somehow wormed his way to standing behind William.

“A scene, nothing is worse than the scene you were creating before I stepped in. You let her contaminate you William. Can’t you see past her evil Cajun ways? She’ s got you under her spell...”

William snorted, “Of all people I cannot believe that Carmen Eloise Saldivar believes in that superstitious voodoo nonsense. The only spell working here Carmen is your own, the one you’ve cast over yourself. The one that makes you think that I care about you. Blow away the smoke Carmen, clear your eyes, because here comes reality... I don’t want you.”

Brian awoke from that dream with a jump as he heard someone knocking on his door. After the fifth knock Brian heard the key card being inserted. Nick wandered in bundled in a blanket with his hair standing out in all directions. Brian watched as he went directly to the television set and cut it on. He plopped down on the floor and began fumbling with the channels turning the volume down low. He obviously didn’t know Brian was awake.

“Nick?” Brian called to him.

Nick whipped his head around, “I thought you were asleep.”

“I was,” Brian slid out of bed, “Why aren’t you asleep?”

Nick pulled his blankets tight around himself, “I can’t, so I figured I could come in here with you.”

Brian smiled at the childishness of it all. He glanced at the clock on his night stand, 4:04 AM, it said . He would need to be up in an hour, Berns opened his office at 6:30, and had told Brian to meet him there. Brian sighed and lie back in bed thinking about his latest memory. He reached for his logbook that he had been using to record all of his dreams, and began to write his latest entry. The bed bounced a bit, and Brian felt Nick looking over his shoulder, “That’s not a Christmas list is it?”

“No, it’s not,” Brian told him.

“You still writing down all of those dreams?” Nick asked in disbelief, “But you have so many, don’t you get tired of doing it?”

Brian smiled at him, “Not really Nick, not if it’s going to help me understand more later. Besides, I just had one of the most interesting dreams so far.”

“What?”

“I finally met William’s fiancé, Carmen.”

“Was she hot?” Nick asked.

“Oh yeah,” Brian lie back and folded his arms beneath his head, “Well, she would have been a total knock out if she... Well she wasn’t so ugly acting. I swear you.. Er.. Nathaniel looked at her like the lollipop kids looked at the Wicked Witch of the East.. Before the house!”

Nick laughed, “Say does, like, Nathaniel have a girlfriend too?”

“Not that I know of, why do you ask?”

“Well it doesn’t seem fair that William should have all these to die for babes swarming him, and Nathaniel has nobody. No offense, but if he looks as much like me as you say, then he’s much better looking than William” Nick grinned wickedly.

Brian smacked Nick in the face with a pillow, “Well obviously the girls don’t think so.”

They were quiet as Brain scribbled down his journal entry. “Brian, do.. Do you think that the doctor will be able to tell me what’s wrong today?”

Brian blinked, and looked at Nick’s pale face drawn with anxiety. So that was why he was in here. Brian couldn’t believe that he had forgotten... Yes he could, he was so preoccupied in his mystery that he was once again forgetting about Nick. He ran his hand through Nick’s damp hair, and smiled lightly, “You’ll be ok Frack. They’ll call today telling us to come pick up your medicine, take two and call in the morning.”

Nick frowned, “I hope so. I’m tired of feeling like crap.”

“Yeah,” Brian agreed, “I’m tired of it too. Every time I feel like beating you up I remember that you’d probably puke all over me.”

Nick giggled, “You couldn’t beat me up anyway, not even in your messed up dreams.” He sat up with a sly grin, “So what do you think Berns is gonna give you this time? I wonder if it will tell us how they all died.”

Brian grinned at Nick’s change in attitude, “I really want to know that too... And now I even want to know about William’s fiancé. Wow, she was really evil. You should have heard how she dogged Elaina out in public man!”

“And you let her do it?”

“No, heck, I... William told her off! I would have clapped... If.. If I wasn’t him, I mean,” Brian moved the comforter down, “Now Nathaniel, on the other hand, jumped like a scared rabbit when he saw her. Got chocolate ice cream all over William’s new car too.”

“Chocolate ice cream?” Nick looked interested.

“Is that all you’re interested in?” Brian asked.

Nick nodded, “I’m hungry. Think they’ll serve it to me now?”

“At 4:00 AM in the freakin’ morning Nicky, probably not,” Brian chuckled, “Besides, all you would do is...”

“Hurl chocolate crap all over the place, I know,” Nick looked a bit wistful, “I still want some.”

Brian was about to comment on Nick’s statement when the door to his room came open again. This time AJ came wandering in, “I just had the freakiest dream!”

“Did you meet Carmen too?” Brian asked with curiosity.

“If you’re talking about Carmen Electra, and like Cindy Crawford, and Tyra Banks! We were like all in this swimming pool thing filled with Hershey syrup... Nicky? What are you doing in here?”

“Couldn’t sleep, but I wish I could. Maybe I’d have some dreams about babes too,” Nick pouted.

“You know, it suddenly occurs to me, that you, Nick, are the only one of us that has seen Elaina and obviously was a part of our pasts, that hasn’t had a retrocognitive dream,” AJ said flopping down on Brian’s bed.

“Retrocognitive?” both Nick and Brian raised their eyebrows.

“Ok, so I’ve been doing some reading,” AJ said sheepishly, “It means knowing about the past. You know, like they have those psychics going around touching things and they can tell you all about the owner of the object.. Psychometry is what’s that’s called, by the way. But when you can remember like an event that has already happened, and you’ve never heard of that event before, then it’s retrocognition.”

“If you say so, Bone,” Nick muttered snickering, “I can’t believe you read all that.”

AJ looked insulted, “Hmph! Well I don’t see you guys doing much research on your own...”

“True,” Brian agreed, “maybe I should start.”

“Dudes, what time are you supposed to be meeting Berns today? Shouldn’t you be, like, trying to get in another hour of sleep?” Nick was making himself comfortable in Brian’s bed.

“Not with you here!” Brian cuffed him behind the ear, “I mean what exactly did you think I was doing when you burst in here?”

Nick shrugged, as AJ said, “Well I am wired. I can’t go back to sleep, I’m up! I think I’ll go get a shower and get dressed. I’m hungry too, do you think they’ll be serving anything to eat now?”

Brian rolled his eyes heavenward, what was it with these crazy people, “No sane person is up at this hour ready to cook you breakfast! Or get you ice cream at that matter!”

“Ice cream?” AJ questioned, then looked thoughtful, “Now that does sound tempting.”

“Chocolate,” Nick added.

“Mmm,” AJ seemed to be savoring the flavor.

“Oh would you get out, “ Brian shooed AJ off his bed, “and take him with you,” he gestured to Nick, “Go bother someone else!”

Nick and AJ glanced at one another, “Wanna go find ice cream?” Nick asked.

“My mom will kill me if she finds out about this, but ok,” AJ said shaking his head, “Lets get dressed first.”

Brian watched them leave. Good riddance! Kids, go figure! Brian lie back in bed and shut his eyes. Maybe he could get back to sleep, and maybe have another dream. He was curious as to why Nathaniel seemed so afraid of Carmen. Sure, she was a mean spirited girl, but the boy had looked petrified. So petrified he dropped food, ice cream, for crying out loud. Nick would never let his ice cream fall for anything. Even if there was a bug in it, he’d just scoop it out. He thought back to Carmen’s face, her aura. Her whole presence made his skin crawl. How could William’s parents even attempt to marry him off to her. If she felt like poison at a distance, he didn’t even wanna know what she was like up close.

Chapter 34

“Hurry, hurry,” AJ was thinking as he and Brian sat in Berns’ waiting room. His secretary had let them in and sat gushing to them about how great the concert was. AJ nodded again with a smile at one of her compliments, he wasn’t really listening. He glanced at his watch that read “6:47.”

They hadn’t told anyone they were leaving. They hoped to be here and back before anyone really had a chance to wake up and question where they were.

“So what happened to Kevin?”

AJ nearly choked, “Huh? Kevin? Oh, he.. Uh...”

“Sprained his ankle coming back under the stage,” Brian finished for him.

Anyone could see the lady wasn’t dumb, her eyes narrowed in suspicion. Another question was forming on her lips when Berns walked through the door, “Sorry I’m late Boys, but you’ll be quite happy to see what kept me. Good morning Diane.” Berns walked straight into his office.

“I guess he wants us to follow,” Brian said with a smile, “Nice talking to you Mrs. Jacobs.”

AJ nodded likewise, and let out an internal sigh, She was a little too nosy for his liking.

“Those people you had listed have some very interesting lives, and even more interesting deaths. I happened to come across this old newspaper... Louisiana Press...”

“October 19, 1921...” Brian read the date of the paper, “Tragedies... Woa!” Brian’s eyes widened. AJ reached out for the old newspaper, laminated in plastic, and read...

October 19, 1921

Nothing could be more depressing than the death of a young person, except for the deaths of five young people. Funeral services for Nathaniel Paul Andreas are being held today at 9:30 am, and shortly following his service will be the service for William Beau Dumas and his older brother Randall Kelly Dumas at 12:00 pm. Funeral services for Carmen Eloise Saldivar, and Alexander Ramon Russo have already been held the previous day. So many shameless deaths, but for what reason? Stories that lead up to the day are foggy and unclear. It seems that no one in the community quite understands the reasons for such tragedy.

The apparent story is that young William had runaway to France to elope with his young fiancé Carmen Saldivar taking along his friend, Andreas, whom he considered a younger brother, and Russo. Russo, apparently had some connections in France, because the couple was well accommodated for once they arrived. Trouble began when older sibling Randall Dumas followed in pursuit of his younger brother. The two Dumas’s were never close with one another, reports a neighbor. Randall entered the hotel where the young couple was staying in Orleans only to find friends Russo and Andreas inside. Altercations were heard and in the argument an oil lamp was overturned. The room burst into flames that consumed and claimed all three lives of Randall Dumas, 27, Alexander Russo, 21, and Nathaniel Andreas, 19.

The story of what happened to William Dumas and his fiancé Carmen Saldivar is a mystery. Many people wish to call it a suicide. The two submerged bodies of Dumas and Saldivar were found later that evening on October 17^th. No fowl play could be seen after examining their bodies. Reasons for suicide are unknown at this point.

Condolences are being sent out to all three families for the losses of their children. Nathaniel Andreas was the only male heir to his parents Martin and Daphne Andreas, who have three older daughters.

“Damn,” AJ set the newspaper down, “Burned alive... that had to hurt.”

Brian reread the article, “There was no mention of Elaina in here. I wonder why not, she was there... And according to your report, Miles, she also died October 17^th.”

“Elaina..” Berns looked awkward, “Yes, she may have played a part in what happened on that... fateful... day. But, she was in a lower social class.”

Brian smacked himself in the head, “Damn prejudice! She deserved to have her name in the paper too, she deserved to have her death acknowledged! I wonder how and where she died. Did she drown too, or was she burned?”

AJ looked sickened, “Too gross to even think about...” He sat and stared at the article again, “Hey Brian?”

“Yeah,” Brian looked over to AJ, “William had a brother?”

Brian blinked, “Well this article sure says he did... but I’ve never...” he trailed off looking at Berns’ confused _expression, “Hmmn..”

Berns looked very uncomfortable and out of place, “Perhaps now you could tell me why you want this information so badly?”

Both Brian and AJ jerked to look at him, “Um... It’s really really weird, and hard to explain, and we’d really prefer not to. We appreciate all your help, and if there’s anything we can do for you in the future...”

 Berns smiled, “Future, huh? Well, we’ll see... Hmmn, I suppose now you’ll want

information on Randall Dumas..”

“And Carmen Saldivar,” Brian said, “I’ll pay...”

Berns held up a hand to silence him, “It’s ok. Even though you won’t tell me what is going on, and why this is so important to you, I still find it quite interesting. Besides, seeing those estatic looks on my children’s faces when they realized Daddy really did know the Backstreet Boys is payment enough for me.”

“Shmuck,” AJ joked, “If I were you I’d milk us for all we’re worth! Brian’s got about seven-...”

“Shut up AJ, that’s tacky!” Brian slapped his hand over AJ’s open mouth, “And don’t bite me!”

AJ glared at Brian.

Berns laughed, “I’ll call your cell when I come across more info. Where are you boys off to next?”        

“Um... I think Holland, or Italy, or.. Somewhere, I’m not sure anymore,” AJ remarked.

Brian shrugged, “I’ve been so busy I forgot to ask. I think I stopped caring as long as we got to these places in one piece.”

“Well good voyage then, I’ll be in touch,” Berns waved them a farewell as the phone in his office began to ring.

Brian and AJ bid him goodbye and quietly slunk out of his office, ‘That is one cool guy,” AJ said handing the newspaper back to Brian. Brian carefully took the newspaper article and placed it in the neat laminated folder Berns had also given them. “What time is it J?”

“7:34,” AJ said, “Wanna stop and get some breakfast? Just in case someone’s up when we get back, we can look like we’ve gone somewhere.”

Brian nodded, then grinned at AJ, “I forgot to ask if you and Nick ever found your ice cream.”

AJ scowled, “That old man at the desk told us to go back to bed, he didn’t care what kind of superstars we were!”

Brian laughed, “Do you think Nick may still want some?”

AJ shrugged, “Only one way to find out...”

They left the office laughing....

But they won’t be laughing for long... Kevin Richardson watched them from a distance getting back into the rental car and driving off. He squinted at the office complex they had come out of. They shouldn’t mess with what is forgotten, it could get them in trouble.

Big trouble.

Chapter 35

“Ice cream!” Nick announced as Brian set the cup on the floor in front of him. Nick actually paused his came of Donkey Kong to grab at the container. Howie snatched it, “Uh-uh! You know what’s going to happen if you eat this!”

“So!” Nick shouted, and Brian took the container back from Howie, “Come on D, let him have it. Look at him.”

“I don’t want to, I know he’s making ‘the face’ at me as we speak,” Howie muttered. He turned his head as far away from Nick as it could get. Then he slowly turned back and crumpled at Nick’s pleading _expression, “Fine, but he’s sitting next to you for the rest of the day. So how did the meeting go?”

AJ took a seat on Nick’s bed with his big plastic sundae cup, “It was cool. You gotta see what we have now.” AJ paused and blinked, “Why Howie, have you been playing video games?”

Howie immediately looked ashamed and dropped the controller he was holding, “No.”

AJ and Brian began to laugh hysterically, “You said you’d never sink to that level!”

“Hey, what was I supposed to do? You came banging on my door at 6:00 in the friggin’ morning with Kaos in tow and throw him in my room. And then he’s all hyper and won’t let me sleep. I didn’t know what to do with him!”

Brian snickered, “Sorry Howie. Heh, heh, so how did you hold up? You win anything?”

“Of course not, this kid’s like the Nintendo manual...” Howie muttered glaring playfully at Nick who was calmly spooning ice cream into his mouth.

“He’s just mad cause he sucks,” Nick said through a mouthful of ice cream.

Brian grinned then pulled out the folder he had been holding along with Nick’s ice cream, “Take a look at this guys.”

Howie slowly took the article away from Brian and began to read it. Nick set down his ice cream with only a few spoonfuls taken out of it so he could see also.

“Burned?” Nick was paler than he had been before, “Alive?” He shuddered.

AJ nodded, “That was my reaction too.”

“Who’s Randall? I didn’t see a report on him in that file,” Howie was already in business mode.

“William’s brother apparently. I didn’t even know he had one... Well yeah, maybe I did, but he sure wasn’t mentioned much. We asked Miles to check out Randall, and Carmen,” Brian said glancing back at the stratified yellowed paper again.

Howie was quiet. Nick pushed his ice cream away. AJ glanced at him, “Is that all you want out of that?”

Nick nodded looking a bit green.

“Alright,” AJ took Nick’s barely eaten cup of ice cream and began mixing its chocolate contents along with his strawberry, vanilla, and pistachio ice cream.

“Ew!” Howie announced breaking his silence.

“Shaddup, this is good!” AJ protested.

“You ok?” Brian asked Nick, “You need help going to the bathroom?”

Nick shook his head, “I’m ok. It’s just, how old was Randall when he..uh...burned?”

“Twenty-seven, why?” Brian questioned him.

“Well, Nathaniel was my age, William was your age, Alexander was AJ’s age... and well, now that I think about it, Randall is Kevin’s age. And he has been acting trei-weird lately, and Howie did say he knew about Carmen when no one told him about her.”

All three men stared at Nick like he was the missing link, “Oh my God, Nick, when’d you get so intelligent?” AJ wondered out loud, “He very well could have been involved in our past. He could have been Randall. I mean that would certainly explain his behavior a bit... Maybe he’s just freakin’ out about the situation, like you were Bri.”

Brian stared at AJ, “I don’t wanna jump to conclusions... So far everyone has the same birthday as their person right? Well when we get back Randall’s write up, we’ll just see. I wonder why I haven’t had any dreams about Randall...”

“I wonder why I haven’t had any dreams at all,” Nick stated, “I mean I just sit around and listen to you guys tell me about hot to die for chicks and how bad they want Brian... Oh damn... I’ll be back.” Nick hustled towards the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

“I told you so,”Howie said matter-of-factly.

Brian chose to ignore him, “So how’s the status here. Are Kevin and Denise still sleeping?”

Howie nodded, “I haven’t seen hide nor hair of them anywhere. No one has made a peep.”

“Crap... I will never eat chocolate ice cream again...” Nick was mumbling, coming out of the bathroom, “That was disgusting.” He was scowling as he plopped back down on the floor and unpaused his game. He smiled suddenly, “Next time I want butter pecan!”

There was a knock at the door, “Come in.”

Denise entered the room, “Good morning. Why are all of you up, and dressed? I thought for sure you’d be sleeping in. Alex, is that ice cream you’re eating for breakfast?”

“Mmmno!” Alex slurred trying to swallow his ice cream and hide the cup behind his back.

Denise rolled her eyes, “I really hate to think about how you eat when you’re alone.”

AJ smiled, “I eat healthy Mommy, from all four food groups... Chocolate, Pepsi, cake, candy...”

Denise sighed, “I hate it. Who said children should be grown and fully capable to take care of themselves at 18. AJ’s 21 and still a baby.”

Brian, Howie, and Nick laughed.

“What are you laughing about Nickolas? I need your temperature this morning,” Denise waved the thermometer in his face, “What was it last night?”

“Not bad,” Brian answered, “it was only 101.”

“That’s good,” Denise nodded touching Nick’s forehead, then she handed him the thermometer so he could slip it into his mouth, “Did you call your mother, sweetie?”

Nick nodded.

“Has anyone seen Kevin this morning?” Denise asked after a few minutes. She slid the cylinder out of Nick’s mouth and glanced at the numbers. She petted his head gently.

“Kevin? No, we thought he was still sleeping,” Howie said looking confused.

“No, I knocked on his door this morning and no one answered. I wanted to talk to him about last night,” Denise said.

AJ, Howie, Brian, and Nick all shared a look that read “Oh damn!”

“Where do you think he went?” Brian asked to no one in particular.

“I don’t know,” Denise answered with a frown, “Where would anyone go this early in the morning?”

“Well maybe he’s nuts like AJ and Nick who get wild cravings for ice cream early in the morning,” Howie joked, then shut up quickly as Denise darted a glare at all of them.

“You gave him ice cream?”

Brian and AJ nodded like two kids in trouble. Denise giggled then, “You two look like 5 -year olds that have been caught red- handed with their hands in the cookie jar. Relax, I would just prefer you wait until the boy can stomach a full bowl of broth before you feed him dairy products.”

“Stop talking about me like I’m not here!” Nick whined, “I hate broth!”

“Well when you stop throwing up everything else that isn’t broth, then you can tell me how much you hate it,” Denise said pointedly. Nick pouted and switched game stations. He was plugging in his Sega.

“What’s this?” Denise reached for Brian’s newspaper. Brian casually moved it out of her reach, “Nothing important.”

Denise narrowed her eyes at him, then glanced at her watch, “Are you Boys packed up to leave this afternoon?”

Everyone but Howie lowered their heads. “Yes ma’am,” Howie said.

“Smooch booty,” Nick hissed under his breath at him.

“But Mom, what if the hospital calls and says...”

Nick made a small noise, “We’ll still leave, because there is no way I am going back there. My back still hurts from yesterday!”

“Jane may have something different to say about that,” Brian snorted, ignoring Nick’s open glare.

“Regardless, you Boys still get packed. Nick, I’ll help you out,” Denise said gazing around the messy room in disdain. Where to start, she did not know...

Brian brushed by AJ as he left Nick’s room, “You don’t think Kevin was up when we left do you?”

AJ shrugged, “I don’t know. But if he was, so what? I don’t care what he thinks anymore. He can bring whatever argument he has on, because I’m ready for him.”

Brian blinked. He was glad at least somebody felt assured.

Chapter 36

“Where have you been?” Kevin was confronted by Denise McLean. Kevin sighed, “I just took a cab out to see some sights, get away for a bit.”

“I understand you had a bit of a misunderstanding with the others last night,” Denise pressed.

“Yes, we had a small falling out. I was mad and was immature,” Kevin said hanging his head in shame, “I was going up to apologize to everyone, especially to Nick since I know they made him fill in for me.”

Denise nodded in approval, “They are all finishing up their packing jobs. Have you started?”

Kevin nodded, “I’m all done.”

Denise smiled at him then, “Ok, well go on up. They’ll be happy to see you.”

Kevin nodded and passed her. Why was that woman always on his back?

Meddlesome witch.

Yes, that’s what she was.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if she were out of the way?

Yes, it would be, but I could never do anything like that.

Yes you can, you can do anything. But right now that witch is not your problem.

Kevin blinked in confusion, “Hi Kevin,” Howie said in a forced casual way, “Hello Howie,” Kevin said back pleasantly, “Listen about last night...”

Howie raised a hand, “Forgotten about. We all get ticked off sometimes and have to be alone to blow off steam, you just picked a helluva time to do it!”

Kevin smiled, “You’re making this so easy for me... I really don’t know what got into me that night. I am so glad you’re so forgiving... but the other guys...”

“They’re pretty mad,” Howie understood immediately. He looked sympathetic, good old dependable Howie D...

Good ole’ gullible Howie D...

Kevin smiled again, “Thanks D.” Howie patted him on the back as he continued up to his room.

You have to get them to trust you again so you can see just what that cousin of yours is doing behind your back...

“What were you doing out with that...that Cajun whore?” Randall demanded in a voice hard as nails.

“How did you find out about that? What, did Carmen run and cry to you about it?” William’s eyes were blazing, “Again?”

“It does not matter who told me, but for your information yes she did! How dare you disgrace this family like that! Do you know how many people may have seen you flouncing around with that Cajun trash! Not only Cajun, but black!”

William had turned his back to Randall, but whirled around in a rage, “DON’T YOU EVER USE THOSE WORDS TO DESCRIBE MISS LANDRY AGAIN! DO YOU HEAR ME?!” William’s hands had made their way around Randall’s throat. Randall grabbed William’s hands and pried them from his neck and shoved him away.

“Don’t you ever put your hands on me..”

“Don’t you ever speak of the woman I love like that...”

“The woman you love? The woman? That.. That filth..” the sound of the slap resounded throughout the dining room. William stood red faced and panting, “Randall, you are supposed to be my brother. My flesh and blood... but yet you feel like neither. I feel nothing for you, Randall. You are the filth that you are constantly talking about, you are the..”

SLAP! Randall slapped William back with the same force William had used if not more. William reeled back, being a smaller man holding his reddened cheek, “Perhaps I know what this is about..” William spoke slowly, “You.. You are in love with my fiancé,” William spat out the word, “Well in my opinion you two deserve each other. You’re both spoiled upperclass filth!” With that William stormed out of the room tipping over a vase.

John and Regina Dumas chose to come downstairs right then. And of course, not even knowing the argument they were on William’s side, as always. Randall sighed, one day he would have what was his... And what he didn’t know is that that day would be coming soon...

“London,” Nick said flatly.

“I see London I see France...”

“Shut up Rok!” Nick snapped slumping down lower on the couch. The tour bus hit a bump, and Brian held his friend as he cried.

The test results were inconclusive, meaning they still didn’t know what was wrong with Nick. They had referred him to a clinic in London that specialized in cases like Nick’s. They figured it was safe not to quarantine him, since he obviously was not contagious. They had given the clinic word that Nick Carter would be coming. Management had given the Boys time off and postponed the tour dates. The Boys’ move to England was a secretive one that the no one but the clinic would know about. The Boys had already been given reservations at a nice hotel near the clinic under a different name. They’d be in town for however long it took. Nick’s mother would probably be flying in to meet them shortly.

“It’s ok Frack,” Brian rubbed Nick’s back, “They’ll figure out what it is, and I bet it’s not anything serious.”

“If it wasn’t serious then why don’t they know what it is?” Nick cried. Brian rocked him trying to calm him down. He had been acting tough, like it didn’t bother him, up until then. In another hour the Boys would be at the airport that would be transporting them to London, England. Nick was finally quiet, and Brian looked down to see that he had cried himself to sleep.

“How’s he doing?” asked Kevin creeping back to the game room on the bus.

Brian looked up at his cousin. He still felt weird about him, but at least he was being civil for Nick’s sake, “Not so good Kev. He’s really scared.”

“I don’t blame him, I would be too,” Kevin said easily. He sat down beside Brian who was still cradling Nick. He ran his fingers through Nick’s blond locks, then he looked at Brian, “I know you’re still angry with me...”

“That’s an understatement Kev,” Brian said, “I’m beyond mad, I’m disappointed.”

Kevin nodded, “I’m sorry.”

Brian was quiet, “I don’t know if I want that from you right now.”

Kevin sighed, “I understand Bri, I just... when you want to talk, I’m open, ok?”

Brian stared at him, “Sure.” Kevin left.

“That was weird,” Brian whispered to himself. Kevin was being civil, but odd. Brian still didn’t want to trust him.. But why shouldn’t he? Kevin was his cousin, not some arch villain... or was he?

Chapter 37

The rain hit the ground with loud clumps. Even with umbrellas, everyone was getting miserably wet. Bodyguards ran alongside with the Boys and Denise holding umbrellas and luggage.

Nick’s bodyguard managed to get him inside the awaiting van first, followed closely by Denise. “This is the last thing you need,” she was muttering touching Nick’s clothing and confirming the dampness of the material, “Turn up the heat in here, please.”

In five minutes the taxi-van was crowded with wet bodies. After everyone was safely secured the bodyguards stepped away from the van and went into their own separate one. The plan was for them and the Boys to arrive separately at the hotel so not to draw attention to themselves. So far there had been no press and no fans.

The trip to the hotel was in silence. Everyone was tired, and either asleep or zoned out. The van pulled into the circle drive of a plush hotel. The exterior looked quiet enough, there seemed to be no lurking teenage girls, or reporters.

Denise went through the whole check in process while the Boys stood around in the lobby. In a few minutes they were given their room accommodations.

“Come on Frack,” Brian took Nick by the shoulders and led him to the elevator behind the others.

Denise opened the door to the large suite and dropped her suitcases on the floor. It contained 6 bedrooms that connected to a living room and kitchen area, “Well this is nice.” She looked around with a nod of approval, then she looked at her five soggy companions, “Ok, I want all of you to take hot showers, I don’t care how tired you are.”

“But I’ll fall asleep in the shower and hit my head on something,” Nick complained rubbing his heavy eyes with his knuckles.

“I will not hear that from you. You go get those wet clothes off and get in some steam young man!” Denise pointed at him, “Now.”

Nick’s eyes widened and he hastily chose a room and darted inside.

“What, does he expect us to bring his suitcases to him or something?” AJ asked with disbelief in his voice.

“Oh come on, he didn’t even carry them up himself!” Brian complained staring at Denise’s _expression.

“I’ll take them,” Kevin volunteered lifting Nick’s bags and going into the room Nick had picked.

“Well I see you boys are starting to get along better. Did you talk?” Denise questioned sitting down on the sofa after stripping off her sopping raincoat.

“Not really,” Brian muttered instantly turning kind of bitter.

“Not at all,” AJ said flatly taking off his wet jacket, “I’m gonna go take that shower.”

“Why not, Brian?” Denise asked, “He’s already told me that he’s sorry and he wants to apologize to you...”

“He’s already apologized to me,” Howie chirped.

Brian shot Howie a crisp look, but was cut off by Denise, “Brian, Kevin’s your cousin. He...”

“He turned his back on me the minute he found out I wasn’t the perfect little church boy he thought I was. He talked to me like dirt,” Brian spat, “He even tried to attack me, and called me out in a public place!”

“Well he.. Called you out in a public place?”

“Oh yeah, no one told you how he busted into the hospital while Nick was bawling his eyes out and started screaming at me! He got Nick all upset, and he asked him to leave...” Brian was rambling angrily.        

Denise’s eyes narrowed, “Ok, why do I feel like you Boys are only telling me half of the story...”

“Denise... I don’t feel good. Can the shower wait, I’m really tired?” Nick was hanging on the door frame to his room.

Denise dropped the subject she and Brian were on and stalked towards Nick’s door with her jaw set, “Nickolas Gene Carter, you are getting in a nice hot bath if I have to put you in it myself!”

“Phew,” Brian breathed watching Denise grab Nick by the shoulders and dragging him off into the room, “That was close. I don’t think we can keep this from her for much longer.”

Howie stretched, “But you can’t tell her the truth... She’ll think you guys are nuts, like I do. But I’m your friend, and I’ll stick by you... Denise is a mother, she’ll call your parents.”

Brian cursed under his breath. His parents were the last thing he needed at that moment. They would be so angry about Leighanne leaving they wouldn’t even hear anything else.

“Howie, we are not telling my mom anything she doesn’t need to know. Bri and I will solve this mystery long before she really begins to think we’re insane.”

“She already thinks you guys are insane,” Howie said flatly.

“Oh yeah.”

INTERMISSION: In this next part of the story, new points of views will be expressed and some flash backs may be documented like present occurrences. Warning: This section contains a small visit from the Dark Side ( N’Sync. ) No, I am not a fan of theirs at all. I just hate the rivalry between them, and in this story, just to make myself feel better, I make them act civil toward one another. It’s only a page or two so grit your teeth and bare it!

PART II OF: THE MEANING OF BEING LONELY

Chapter 1

A cool breeze blew in through his window waking him from his light slumber. He shivered and sat up rubbing his arms , which were covered in gooseflesh. He gazed up from studying his goosebump covered arms into the familiar toffee colored oval shaped face.

Nick smiled, filled with pleasure, “I didn’t think you would come again.”

Elaina grinned at him and brushed back a wisp of blond hair stuck to his forehead, “And why would you think that? I always come to you Nick.”

Nick’s smile got wider, “Yeah, you do...” He looked slightly uncomfortable.

“What is it?” she asked instantly concerned.

“Brian and AJ wouldn’t like it very much if they knew you were here,” Nick said looking down at his tangles sheets. Small hands lifted Nick’s chin up to face a pair of velvety brown eyes, “Don’t you be worrying about no Brian and AJ.”

Nick sighed, “Lanie, I still don’t understand why you won’t explain to me what’s going on? Why can’t you go to Brian and tell him that...”

“Shh... darling,” Elaina took Nick’s face in her hands and shushed his words with her lips over his, “No more talk. I bet you’re tired.”

Nick slowly pulled away from her rubbing his eyes, “Yeah. I wish I wasn’t though. If I wasn’t feeling so crappy, I’d show you a really good time. I don’t understand why you’d rather be here with me, than out with Brian. Don’t you and he...”

“Shh..” Her hands reached out to stroke his hair, “Lie down.”

Nick obediently did what she commanded. Icy chills ran throughout his body causing him to shiver vigorously. He felt the covers touch his chin, and he felt her hands caressing his face, “Time for sleep.”

Nick wanted to nod but he kept feeling the persistent waves of exhaustion roll over him. His eyes closed on themselves and his mind began to slip away into the land of Nod... maybe in his dreams, or maybe she really did say it, he heard, “Soon Nathaniel, soon...”

Chapter 2

“Berns just called. He’s found some information on Randall Dumas, but none on Carmen yet. He says he wants to send all the information together, so we might not be getting those files for another few days,” Brian reported.

“This Berns guy works fast,” Howie commented, “How much are you paying him.”

“Not as much as he should be paid. Instead Brian bribed him with backstage passes and autographs,” AJ snickered.

Howie looked amused, “Cool. Nick, are you ok in there?” Howie aimed this question at Nick’s closed bathroom door. Nick had gone in 30 minutes ago. The light went out and the door opened slowly. Nick trudged out fully dressed, but slightly damp. Steam drifted through the room from the bathroom, and the smell of soap penetrated the air.

He dropped down onto his bed and grabbed a pillow off the floor, “What were you guys talking about?”

Brian looked down at him, “Your examination in an hour.”

Nick groaned, and burrowed his head in the pillow he was clutching. Brian rubbed his shoulders, “So, anyone have any dreams last night?”

AJ shook his head negatively. Brian frowned, “Me neither.”

“I had a dream,” Nick volunteered in a pillow muffled voice.

AJ and Brian looked to him.

“I was the leprechaun off the Lucky Charm box, and I was chasing those stupid kids around...”

AJ, Howie, and Brian were staring at him oddly.

“I didn’t mean those kind of dreams,” Brian remarked chuckling. Nick sat up, musing his hair, “Well what kind did you mean B?”

Howie frowned at him with concern, “You ok Nicky?” He touched his cheek, “You’re warmer than usual.”

Nick smacked Howie’s hand away and he lay back down, “Leave me alone..” he whined.

Howie sighed, “I hope these doctors can tell us something. I don’t think Nicky can take much more of this.”

“Stop talking about me like I’m not here!” Nick snapped. The sudden outburst brought on another coughing fit. AJ groaned, “Not again... I was actually enjoying hearing myself think.”

Denise opened the door slightly, “Hey Boys, outside in 5 minutes.”

Nick was panting and wiping water from his eyes, he sniffled, “God, this is gonna hurt...” he was thinking about all the test he would have in the day.

Brian helped him up, “Don’t worry Kaos, we’ll be with you... The whole time, this time. I swear I’ll stay and close my eyes when it gets too...” he paused when he saw that he wasn’t helping any, “Come on.”

Nick sat on the cold metal table covered with thin white paper shivering. He was in the cold metallic room alone in his underwear staring at sharp instruments and doctors’ tools. Brian and the others were all outside talking to the doctor. He said one person could come in with Nick for moral support. They would rather him be alone, but Nick could be rather persuasive. He threw a temper tantrum like no other. Right outside the door Nick spied the tall looming shadow of the doctor, Dr. Challis. They were arguing over who should come in with him. Nick shook vigorously, not only with fever chills, but with fear. He had heard only a few words over what was going to be done to him, and he didn’t like it. It involved lots of sharp objects and ingesting nasty liquids so cameras on tubes could go... Nick cringed. God, why? Why? What did I ever do to you? Couldn’t you have chosen somebody else? AJ’s bad, why not him? Nick cursed himself for thinking that last thing. What was wrong with him?

He laid his head on his knees feeling the warm tears fall on his bare skin. A touch so soft caressed his back and shoulders. Nick sighed, “You again?”

She smiled, “Tired of me?” She took him in her arms and held him close as he trembled against her.

“No,” Nick said in a quiet voice, “I’m scared, and I don’t want to be here...”

“I know you don’t,” she said in a whisper,” Only a little longer baby, then you can come home..”

“Home?” Nick asked gazing at her with confusion.

“Home,” Elaina said again even more softly, she ran her hands through his soft blond hair causing it to fall into his eyes, “with me... I can’t wait to show you my garden...”

Nick felt himself nodding, “I can’t either..” he murmured closing his eyes and he felt her tiny fingers trailing over his face. Then she was gone leaving only the lingering scent of her perfume. Nick shivered again. He didn’t want to be here, and wherever Elaina was going, he wanted to go too. Anywhere was better than here.

The door opened and the tall fair haired doctor stepped in with Brian following.

“Alright Nickolas, we can get started,” Dr. Challis waved a thermometer then instructed Nick to open his mouth.

Chapter 3

“Randall, I need you,” She spoke those words through her luscious shapely lips. Randall stared at her sensuous mouth in utter fascination, he was hypnotized by its movements. His eyes trailed from her lips to her breasts. There were full and their milky tops were revealed through the low-cut dress. He swallowed deeply.

“Me?”

“Yes,” her voice was low and husky, she took his face in her soft gentle hands“Randall, your brother is out to destroy me with his little ‘indiscretions’ shall we call them.”

Randall blinked, and licked his parted lips, “Why... why worry about William, Carmen? Forget about my little brother, I can be all the man you will ever need.” His hand reached to brush a long curly dark tendril of hair from her dark Spanish eyes.

He felt her move closer to his body as he inhaled her scent of lilacs, lilacs in the summertime. Her body crushed against his, and he found his hands in awkward, yet pleasurable places. “Randy, you know there will always be a place very special in my heart for you...but William, William is my true love, who must be taught a lesson. He must learn that is me he loves, and that he has angered me. You will help me Randall.”

Randall was sputtering, Why should he help her make William love her. William didn’t deserve anything as precious and beautiful as her love. William deserved just what he had, Cajun filth suited him. He felt the sneer curving on his lips. He heard the soft tinkling of her laughter. He looked to see that Carmen had taken a seat on the sofa. She sat with one leg folded over the other and an alluring smile, “Randall...” she cooed, “I know I can depend on you to help me. No one else can Randy. I need you.”

Randall felt himself being wrapped up in her sweetness, her innocence. Damn that William for not wanting her, and soon he would see the error of his ways... He had to love Carmen. That is the way that it should be. “I will do anything for you.”

“I know,” Carmen enveloped him in her arms, “I know,” she murmured barely suppressing her triumphant smile.

Kevin sat in the lobby with AJ, Howie, Denise, and a bodyguard. He glared quickly at AJ before dropping his eyes before anyone saw. He didn’t want to be here. He wanted to be back at the hotel searching Brian and AJ’s rooms to see what they were hiding. He knew they were in contact with some sort of business man. They had met him in his office a few times and each time they left with some sort of written information. He had to know what it was.

I have to know what it is...

But why is it so important...

I do not want anyone ruining my plans for my future. They must not find out anything else. That meddling twit is helping them, but I cannot stop her. You, on the other hand, can stop them.

Kevin was nodding.

“Why are you doing that?” Howie looked at Kevin curiously.

Kevin stopped his nodding and stared back at 3 pairs of eyes now on him.

“I’m sorry I guess I nodded off with my eyes open. I was dreaming I was answering a survey,” Kevin mumbled as an excuse.

Denise laughed, “Well, it must have been a pretty easy survey.”

“Yeah,” Kevin agreed, “I am so tired. Look, these doctors are only letting one person in at a time, and Nicky.. Well, he’s not too happy with me right now. He’s not going to want to see me, so I really don’t see the point in me staying. I’m gonna get a cab and head back to the hotel.” Kevin stood up.

“I’ll go with,” AJ said quickly, also standing up.

“No, AJ, Nick will want to see you,” Kevin said.

“He’ll understand,” AJ said, “It’s not like he’s checking in Kev, he’ll back this afternoon. You and I need to talk.”

Kevin stared at AJ.

Get rid of him you fool!

“AJ, as much as I feel we need this. I want to get some sleep. I’m not going to be much of a conversationalist,” Kevin said.

AJ stared at him, his dark eyes were even darker with suspicion, “Stay here Kevin. I’ll be right back, when I come back you can leave... alone.”

Kevin looked confused, and stood where AJ had instructed him to. What is he doing?

AJ jogged down the white corridor to the door Nick was behind. He peeked inside to see Nick laying flat on a table. AJ knocked lightly on the door. It opened and Brian slipped out, “What’s up Alex?”

“Kevin wants to go back to the hotel,” AJ said.

“So?” Brian shrugged and turned to go back into the room.

“Brian, I don’t trust him,” AJ said slowly, “I think he’s acting strange.. And I just have a bad feeling about it, ok?”

Brian blinked, “You think he’s up to something?”

AJ grinned, “Wow, now we are starting to sound like Kevin did... Yeah, I think he’s up to something. It doesn’t smell right, B. I want to follow him, just like I feel he’s been following us.” That last bit of information AJ blurted out took him by surprise just as it did Brian.

“What? You think he’s been..?” Brian trailed off as his eyes enlarged in shock, “Damn AJ, damn... Why would he be...?”

“I don’t know, but I get this weird vibe when I’m around him. Something’s not right.”

“I know,” Brian nodded, “I feel that way about him now, too. It’s just that...”

“You don’t want to,” AJ smiled lightly at Brian, “He’s your cousin.”

Brian nodded, “Yeah. Besides, why would he be following us? What could he possibly be trying to do to us that would be bad. Kevin’s our brother, he wouldn’t do anything against us.”

“Well it sure doesn’t feel that way now-a-days,” AJ muttered, “Anyway, Bri, I don’t want him going back to that hotel without one of us there to... To make sure he’s not snooping through our things.”

Brian stared, “Well how exactly are we going to keep Kevin from going back to the hotel if he wants to go. How do we explain it?” Brian was watching AJ’s facial expressions and his last sentence died as he followed AJ’s eyes to the door behind him. Inside that door, Nick was perched on the edge of a paper clothed table with his arms wrapped around himself. Brian flinched, then sighed, “I’ll talk to him.”

“Wh...where’d you go B?” Nick chattered. He appeared to be so cold that even his tears had frozen on his cheeks.

Brian wanted to kick himself for having to do what he was going to do next. Nick looked so young and kind of innocent staring over at Brian with those big baby blue eyes. “Nicky... Kev’s trying to leave and get back to the hotel. Me and AJ don’t trust him, and can’t let him leave. Not without one us, but it would look odd if we left. And, there is nothing here keeping Kevin.. Except...”

“Me?” Nick blinked.

Brian nodded, “Yeah Frack. He’ll have to stay if you ask him to.”

Nick ran a hand through his hair, “Ok, so let me get this straight. You’re going to leave and you want me to pretend like I want Kevin in here with me? Brian, I’m sorry, but if you haven’t noticed, Kevin gives me the creeps lately! I don’t want him in here!” 

“Nick, I.. He gives you the creeps?” Brian looked curious, “How so?”

Nick grimaced at the question, “I don’t know. He’s just acting so cold lately, so un-Kevin. He seems slimey, fake... Like he’s pretending to be himself.”

Brian patted Nick’s bare shoulder, “Does he seem like he knows something to you?”

Nick’s features were blank, “Like what Brian?”

“About this whole dilemma we’re in,” Brian threw his arms in air, “Nick, AJ and I think he knows.”

Nick’s eyes widened, “Well if he does then what would it hurt for him to go back to the hotel alone.”

“We don’t want him snooping in our stuff!”

“Well if he knows, then why would he need to!” Nick argued.

Brian was stumped, “We just want him here Nick, where we can watch him.”

Nick bit his lip, “I want you to stay in here with me, Frick. Only one person can be in here..”

Brian was pleading, “Nicky please, just for right now. Later on we’ll figure something else out and I’ll be back.”

Nick frowned thoughtfully, “I could throw another tantrum. It worked out really well the first time.”

“Nicky, I don’t want you to tire ourself out,” Brian said.

“I’ll just cry a lot this time, don’t worry. That doesn’t take much energy,” Nick assured Brian, “but go run and get Kevin now. The doctor stepped out for a moment, but when he comes in I’ll turn on the waterworks.”

Brian grinned wickedly, “You ‘da’ man, Frack.” Brian slipped out of the door and filled AJ in on the plan. Then AJ went jogging back into the lobby to carry out his part of the plan.

When Brian reentered the room Nick was already working himself up. Tears were actually coursing down his cheeks. Brian laughed, “Oh man, this is gonna be too good.” Brian walked over to the table to inspect Nick’s forced tears. Dr. Challis came back into the room. Brian immediately grabbed Nick into a hug as Nick began to bawl out loud like a baby.

“Kevin, Howie, Mom, Nick’s freakin’ out, we gotta get down there!” AJ came running down the hall looking frantic.

“Freaking out how?” asked Denise.

“He’s all screaming and crying for us,” AJ explained in a panicked voice, “He’s even scaring the doctor.”

Denise dropped her magazine, “Poor baby, I knew I should have never let Brian talk me into not going in with him. Come on.”

Howie stood up. Kevin looked towards the door and hesitated. He had to keep his cover. He sighed and trudged after Howie. Those files could wait...

Chapter 4

“Big brat,” Denise was teasing rubbing Nick’s back. They were sitting in the back of their travel van again on their way back to the hotel. Nick was currently sucking on a lollipop the nurses gave him. They thought he was cute.

Kevin was scowling. He had ended up spending the whole afternoon with them. Everyone had to be squeezed into that tiny room with Nick or he would go into hysterics. Why couldn’t they just shoot him and put him out of his misery.

Kevin felt an unfamiliar feeling. Was that guilt? Guilt, for thinking about Nick being killed for his benefit? No, couldn’t be. What did Kevin care about that filthy little rat? He was friends with that Cajun trash. Kevin couldn’t associate with anyone like that. It was below high society’s standards.... Kevin was superior to him, as well as the others.

AJ was studying Kevin carefully. He saw the scornful look of distaste when Kevin glanced at any of them, especially Brian. He felt Howie bump him with his elbow, “Is it just me, or does Kevin seem PO’ed?”

“It’s not just you,” AJ hissed flatly, “Now you see why I didn’t want him back at the hotel with our stuff, Brian.”

Brian nodded quickly throwing a look at his cousin. Kevin’s green eyes stared back at him for a moment... They seemed so cold, and creepy. The look he was giving Brian was degrading. Brian fought the grimace that was threatening to show on his face. He didn’t want Kevin to see how uncomfortable he was making him feel.

The van came to a soft halt. The spell that held Howie, AJ, and Brian enthralled with Kevin’s _expression broke as soon as they took a glimpse out the window.

“Why is that limo here?” Howie asked. He flinched as he felt AJ nearly climb on top of him to get a better view out the window. “OW DUMBO!” He shoved AJ back onto the seat.

“Look, fans,” Brian pointed to a small group of girls camping outside the hotel, “and photographers! What the hell is going on?”

“Somebody must have let it spill that we’re here!” AJ snarled, “What do we do?”

“I’m going to call... Oh damn! Look!” Denise was looking out her window. A van had pulled up behind them. It seemed the limo was a decoy. Two heavyset body guards jumped out of the van and a bunch of people jumped out of the van running for the hotel side doors.

“Who’s that?” asked Nick pulling his lollipop out of his mouth.

“Well from here, it looks like N’Sync,” Kevin said in a low voice.

“N’Sync? AW MAN!” AJ griped, “Now we gotta get another hotel. I mean with all these girls here how long will it take for them to accidentally spot one of us, and know we’re here too! I mean we’re going to be doing a lot of in’s and out’s!”

Denise looked worried and told the driver that he better back up and take them through the back door.

“This sucks!” AJ was complaining as Denise was calling around to find more nice hotels with vacancies.

“What sucks?” Nick asked unwrapping another lollipop. The nurses had cleaned out the station giving Nick candy.

“All of it! Kevin’s some kind of narc, there’s ghosts everywhere, Howie thinks we’re crazy, you’re too sick to perform, and now... now we have to find another hotel in the middle of the freakin’ day. Ugh! Why couldn’t N’Stink pick another hotel to stay at?”

“N’Stink?”Nick questioned with a giggle.

AJ gave a half grin, “Well that’s what the fans call them, anyway. I thought it was cute.”

“You think everything a girl says is cute,” Nick laughed.

“Shut up Kaos or you’ll be eating that lollipop out your...”

“Bad news guys,” Denise had hung up the phone and had now walked into the room to face the Boys.

“What?”

“Umn... the only place with an opening tonight is an Econolodge.”

“EEW!!” Brian and Nick shouted, “I’ll take my chances with the hormone crazed teenyboppers anyday.”

“That’s what I thought,” Denise laughed.

“We’ll just have to keep a low profile, that’s all,” Howie shrugged, “Which means, AJ, must dress normally for the next week.”

“Yes I.. WHAT??” AJ’s eyes were wide, he had in frozen mid-speech with his mouth hanging agape.

Everyone laughed... well not everyone. Kevin had quietly slunk out of the room. He needed to get some work done.

Chapter 5

I thought I told you to watch them! How dare you let them get this far?!

I tried, I tried. Kevin sat on the freshly made bed in Brian’s hotel room. He leafed through the files with deadly speed.

This is horrible. You idiot! Perhaps I should use the blond one, he worked perfectly before. And he has always performed better than you. You are nothing but a half-wit, Randall.

No! Give me another chance! Kevin shut the files and carefully placed them in the obvious hiding place Brian had stashed them in. What a moron. Everyone knew to check the sock drawers first! Then after that look under the mattress.

You have had too many chances. It would have worked perfectly if only you wouldn’t have ruined everything! I will simply have to try something else... Before he figures out that his precious Elaina really isn’t what she seems...

You have got to give me another chance!

Stop sniveling.

One more chance?

Ok... one more, and you will do exactly as I tell you.

Yes, yes. Kevin sighed in relief and felt the tension rise from his chest. She still loved him. She still needed him. He couldn’t wait for his next assignment so he could prove this to her. He could be useful!

Those fools AJ, Brian, and Howie had left to go to the gym downstairs, and Denise ( meddling witch) had gone shopping, leaving Kevin alone... Well not entirely alone, little Nicky was here to watch him. Little Nicky was so easy to deal with. One glass of water with a few dissolved Valium tablets had knocked him right out. Kevin smirked. What should he do in the meantime to make it up to her? He was already tapping Brian’s phone lines. People will do almost anything with no questions for a certain price, Kevin thought smugly. Any phone call Brian received, Kevin would receive also.  

Still he could sense she was not pleased. He needed to do something else, something drastic. He did not know what yet, but he would figure it out.

“I love you Nick,” Tyra Banks was whispering in Nick’s ear. On the other side of him was Nicky Taylor. She was kissing his fingertips. Both were clad in leather bikinis. Nick blinked, he loved when he had these sort of dreams. He was on the beach on a remote desert island being fanned and pampered by eight beautiful women who were scantily clad. Nick closed his eyes and opened his mouth to receive another peeled grape. He closed his lips over it and crunched on the unfamiliar hard texture of the fruit. Wait, it wasn’t even a fruit. Nick spit the object into his palm and stifled his gag reflex. There was a large half chewed cock-a-roach in his hand. “Aaaaaaaaaaaah!” Nick cried tossing the horrid thing as far away from him as he could. He looked wildly around at his beautiful servants and found them missing. One figure stood in front of him. It appeared to be shadowed and Nick couldn’t distinguish any features. He squinted. As the figure moved closer it proved to be a woman with a very curvy figure. Nick smiled and settled back down on his beach thrown. Maybe he would like this part of the dream.

The girl came nearer still, and Nick’s heart skipped with excitement as he realized who it was. Elaina had come to see him again! He jumped up to greet her, but noticed her _expression was non too sunny. “What’s wrong?”

“You,” the girl hissed in a low voice. A voice that wasn’t his Elaina’s. It was still familiar somehow though. He shook slightly and took a step back towards his thrown.

“You are the same spineless coward you were then...” She had backed him up against his thrown and he toppled backward into it. He sat haphazardously still trying to edge away from the scary version of his love...

“You tell them to stop talking to that detective, or... well let’s just say you do not want your friends talking to the detective Berns anymore.”

Nick gapped, “But why? Who are you?”

Her small hands grabbed Nick by the anchor of his necklace and yanked him towards her. “Oh Nathaniel, always the innocent one.. You know who I am.”

Nick cringed squirming in her strong hold, “My name’s not Nathaniel, and I don’t’ know who you are! Wrong dream lady!”

She laughed, “I’ll kill them all. Get that detective out of the way, and I might let you, and your precious AJ, Howie, and Kevin live.”

“Wh.. Wh...what about Brian?” Nick choked, trembling with fear. He felt afraid. Being near this girl set off every alarm in his body. He felt an irrational fear.. A fear that may not have been all his own, if he had stopped to think about it.

“Wake up!”

Nick sat up in bed with a gasp. Every inch of his body was drenched in sweat. His head swam, his thoughts were muddled, but one thought rang clear. He had to find the others! He stumbled out of bed colliding with the floor. He had been fully dressed since that morning. Brian, AJ, and Howie had gone off to the gym. They had invited Nick, but he really didn’t feel like sitting around in a hot smelly gym all day. He wouldn’t have been able to do anything in there anyway. He’d chosen to stay upstairs, watch Kevin, and maybe get in a little Sega Dreamcast... But he had fallen asleep. He had fallen asleep, Kevin was gone... and.. And... The terror struck him again like a punch in the stomach. His knees went weak beneath him. He had to find the others. He walked unsteadily out of his room and through the darkened living room area. He had no idea how he made it all the way to the lobby, but he did. Now he had to find the gym... He made his way fuzzily to the front desk.

Chapter 6

“I am so happy I get to meet you! I love your music!” Another young blond British fan explained to her favorite pop group N’Sync. They nodded, slightly bored. It seemed no one ever came up with anything new or more interesting to say anymore.

Justin looked her over, too young. She looked to be 14, 15 at the most. He prefered the older fans.

“My favorite is Lance!” the girl said in her chirpy voice. Yack, yack, yack. The girl just kept talking. Lance was beyond bored. So far, he had hated this trip to England. Nothing but reporters and fan meetings, and publicity shoots.

JC nodded and smiled at everything the girl was saying. What was she saying? He watched her lips move at an increasing speed. Her braces gleamed with every syllable. Her rapid speech went at a steady beat that Joey felt his head almost swaying to.

Will she ever shut up? Chris wondered. Just how long would they have to be out with her? They were supposed to take her out for the day. Normally they wouldn’t mind.. But wow! Where had they discovered this one from?

“... And hey, isn’t that one of the Backstreet Boys over there?” the girl’s monologue stopped. Justin’s mind was on autopilot his little inside radio singing the theme song to “The Never-ending Story.” How fitting, he thought ironically.

Grateful for the distraction they looked towards the front desk, and sure enough there was Nick Carter approaching the desk none too steadily. He wasn’t looking too good. “What is he doing here?” Lance asked curiously.

“I don’t know, maybe he’s on vacation,” Justin mumbled. He took a quick glance at their young fan who was just about to open her mouth again and burst into an anti-BSB monologue, “Lets go say hi!” He jogged past her with Lance following.

“Ex..excuse me?” Nick stuttered. He had his arms wrapped around himself for warmth in the average temperature room. He shivered, “I um.. I need to find my band mates... They’re supposed to be in the gym... That.. That’s where they said they were going... Are they there?”

The male clerk with the name tag that read ‘Curtis’ frowned at the trembling teenager in front of him. He recognized him as Nick Carter, his older sister’s favorite Backstreet Boy. His sister was 25, and not ashamed to refer to Nick as The Blond Sun God Adonis himself. “Yes, I saw them go in the gym earlier this afternoon, and they have not left yet.”

“Ok... Can you.. Can you tell me where it is? I have to...to tell them something,” Nick’s words were falling all over each other. He was gripping the counter for support, his knuckles were white from the strain.

Curtis took in the young star’s pale sweaty complexion, lanky body, and rapidly rising and falling chest, “Has there been an emergency?”

“No, no... I just have to get to them, now,” Nick said moping damp hair off his forehead.

“Well, the gym is to your left. Just go down that hall, and you’ll never miss it,” Curtis pointed, “Better yet, you sit down and I’ll go and tell them to come to the lobby.”

“No,” Nick shook his head.

“Ok, well then I’ll take you,” Curtis nodded to himself.

Nick laughed softly, “It’s ok. I can get there on my own, I’m not that much of a blond to where I’d get lost.”

“Still sir, I think maybe it’d be better if you sit down for a spell. You don’t look very well.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t.” Nick waved to Curtis as he turned to walk away from the counter. He felt a hand on his shoulder and nearly jumped out of his skin.

“Chill,” Justin said, “We just wanted to say hi, since you’re here. Are all of you guys here?”

Nick nodded looking pained, “Yeah.”

“When did you get here? We haven’t heard anything about you guys being in town or staying at the hotel,” Joey said. He really didn’t care if the BSB were in town or not... But he noticed the little girl stopped running her mouth releasing disturbing noises with her highly annoying accent!

“We got here a day before you did,” Nick said softly. He was shaking, Lance noticed.

“Well what are you guys doing here? Promos?”

Nick shook his head, “No...” He was sweating, Justin noticed.

“Are you ok?” JC asked.

“I’m fine. I just gotta get... get to...” confusion ran across Nick’s face as he blanched more, if that were possible. He tried to grab the counter again but his hand never got to grip. His eyes rolled back and he crumpled towards the floor. JC and Justin caught him before his head touched the ground. The young girl finally found her voice and screamed.

Justin and JC laid Nick out on the floor, “What do we do? What do we do?”

“Somebody call a doctor!”

“Umn.. I’ve heard that you’re supposed to elevate the feet... er.. Or was that head?”

“Damn, come on Nick wake up,” JC gave Nick’s face a light slap.

Curtis had run around the desk. He hollered for someone to bring cold water and some towels. “Come on, wake up,” JC kept coaxing. He felt his forehead, “Damn, he’s burning up! Is someone calling a doctor?”

“One is coming,” Curtis assured.

“Come on, wake up, kid!”

“Seventy-seven, seventy eight....” Howie paused in doing his stomach crunches. A familiar person had run into the gym looking panicked. It appeared to be Howie’s old classmate Chris Kirkpatrick, “Hey...” He quickly made his way to Howie.

“Hi Chris...”

Chris looked upset, “You and your friends had better get into the lobby now. Nick just passed out at the front desk and..”

“Nick what? What the hell is he doing down... Brian! AJ!” Howie turned to hunt down his two band mates, but not before thanking Chris.

Within seconds all three of them, plus Chris, were barreling from the gym into the lobby. There was a small circle of people gathered around the lobby couch. Brian reached them first and they kindly moved aside to reveal Nick, who was sitting up sipping a glass of water. Brian gave him a slight hug and plopped down beside him, “Are you ok, Frack? What are you doing down here?”

Nick nodded that he was ok, then he looked at Brian with a strange gleam in his eyes. Brian bit his lip and nodded with understanding. Howie blinked, those two were definitely weird.

Howie thanked the members of N’Sync and the clerk from the front desk, Curtis, for taking care of their little brother until they got there. A small man in a white medical coat walked up to them, “I received a call a little while ago.”

“Oh,” Curtis gestured to Nick who was sitting with his head in his hands.

After a few minutes the unhappy doctor glared at everyone in the room, “Why is this boy out of bed?”

AJ, Brian and Howie shrugged, “Ask him. He was supposed to stay in his room, or with one of us at all times.”

“Have you been to see a doctor?” He asked removing the thermometer and gaping at the numbers.

Nick nodded, “Too many.”

“Yeah, in fact that’s why we’re here. He’s been through 5 doctors and no one can tell us what’s wrong with him. We came here because Dr. Juliani, his last doctor, referred us to the clinic two blocks down,” Brian said rubbing Nick’s back.

The doctor frowned, and sighed, “Ok, to bed with you boy, and have a good meal tonight. You’re much too thin for someone your height.” The doctor gathered up his instruments and left.

“I just can’t be perfect can I,” Nick muttered in a teasing tone, “First I’m too fat, now I’m too skinny.” He winced as he felt someone putting that cold wet towel on the nape of his neck again. He glanced up at all the faces around him, “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” JC shrugged, “Just don’t make this an everyday thing. Now if you’re ok?...”        

“Please say you’re not..” Justin was pleading silently.... If he said ok, then Justin would be off to spend 4 hours with Mighty Mouth!

“... We need to be going. This is Reagan, and we’re spending the afternoon with her.”

“I’m ok,” Nick said.

“Dammit!” Justin thought.

“We’re just gonna take him back upstairs, see you guys later. You have fun,” AJ said waving them off.

“I get the feeling that they didn’t want to go,” Nick observed after they had left.

“Me too,” Brian snickered, “Come on Blondie, lets get you into bed. You can tell us whatever it was later.”

Nick frowned, “But Brian...”

“Come on,” Brian boosted him to his feet and Nick was then propelled towards the elevators.  It’s important....

Chapter 7

“104,” Brian waved the thermometer after removing it from Nick’s lips, “Maybe we should get a cab and take you back to the clinic.”

“No!” Nick yelled, Howie pushed him back down on the couch, “Shh, buddy. Now why did you come downstairs for us? Where’s Kev?”

Nick blinked, “I dunno... He wasn’t here when I got up. Brian?”

“Yeah,” Brian came back to Nick’s side, he was holding a compress that he applied to Nick’s forehead.

“She said she was going to get you,” Nick said softly, his eyes closing.

“She said? Who said? Elaina?” Brian moved Nick’s stringy hair from his eyes, “Nicky, are you with us?”

“Hmmn....” Nick mumbled sleepily, “Sleepy Frick.”

“No, Nick, wake up. I need to know what you’re talking about,” Brian gave Nick a pinch, and Howie smacked him. “Don’t pinch him!”

“Yeah, Rok, just dump the ice from the compress in his pants,” AJ was taking the compress off Nick’s head and twisting the top off.

“You guys stop it! He’s tired!” Howie scolded them, “Leave him alone.”

“Hey boys,” Denise was entering the room with her arms loaded with shopping bags, “Can you get some of these.” She was struggling to hold the bags.

AJ and Howie took a few.

“Why’s Nicky out here?” Denise frowned. She moved closer to the couch Nick was bundled up on.

“He had a little fainting spell downstairs..”

“Downstairs? I thought he was gonna stay up here with Kevin? Did Kevin drop him off on you?” Denise was scanning the room for Kevin.

“No, in fact we didn’t even know Kevin was gone. Nick came down to find us himself,” Brian said bitterly, “That’s when he fainted. Right at the front desk... luckily there were some nice people in the lounge, N’Sync actually.”

“Wait, wait, back up.. Kevin wasn’t here, all day? He left Nick up here by himself?” Denise’s mouth had fell open in disbelief, “I thought he said..”

“He did,” AJ said flatly, “but he lied, Mom. He must have waited until Nick fell asleep, then he left.”

“Well maybe he left a note saying where he’ll be. Maybe he hasn’t been gone long,” Denise was trying to find an explanation for Kevin’s absence.

Howie was shaking his head sadly, “The clerk said Kevin left over 2 hours ago. He didn’t leave a message or anything.”

Denise’s eyes glinted with fire, “Oh just wait til that boy gets back here. There will be hell to pay.” She touched Nick’s face gently, “Did anyone get his temp?”

“It’s high, Denise,” Brian said, “I’m worried.” 

Denise frowned, then sighed, “Lets move him to his bed. We’ll let him rest a bit, then we’ll find see how he’s feeling later.” The others nodded.

Chapter 8

“She’s going to do something awful William, please don’t go,” Elaina was griping Brian’s hand fiercely. Brian jerked his hand away from her, “I know she’s going to do something awful, and I don’t want Nathaniel caught up in the middle of it! I shouldn’t have dragged him into this mess in the first place!” Brian felt William’s frustration and self-hatred.

“William, it’s not your fault,” Elaina said softly releasing his hand. Brian turned to stare at her. She had a look of resignation on her face. She knew William was going to face Carmen alone and there would be no stopping him, “Be careful.”

Brian nodded to her. He took her in his arms one more time and hugged her close just inhaling her scent... her scent of ripened raspberries.... Much like the Bath and Body Works brand, Brian thought to himself. For some reason this scent disturbed him and he proceeded to kiss her hair, then lastly her lips. What was is about her scent? He liked it, of course. He always loved the way she smelled. But... but... he couldn’t remember. Some memory from his past was trying to surface itself but something else was interfering with it.

Wake up....

WAKE UP!

Brian’s eyes snapped open instantly and he immediately felt the draft in the room. He shivered as he sat up in bed realizing that the window was open. Droplets of rain spatted against the window sill, heavy billowing curtains, the carpet, and the dressers. Brian turned his head to look at the place on the bed beside him to find it empty. Nick had been sleeping there. He had been having nightmares and had crawled into bed with Brian earlier that night. The fever made him do it, Brian knew. Nick hadn’t done things like that since he was 12. Brian blinked, Now where could he have gone? He thought this as he climbed out of bed to try and close his window. What had opened it? Freezing rain smacked him in the face and on his exposed limbs as he fought his way. He gripped the soggy curtain and ripped back the fabric. Her face smiled back at him. He gasped and tried to pull her in through the window. What was she doing standing out on his ledge?! But she was gone. Her image was replaced with yet another coat of rain. He dropped his head to his chest trying to get a deep breath. What the hell had that been, and more importantly where was Nick? Brian slowly opened his eyes and something down below caught his eye. It was a glimmer of something. He searched the gloom outside once again. There she was. She stood gazing back at him, she was too far away, and him too high up for Brian to decipher the look in her eyes. She was standing there like she was trying to show him something. Brian’s eyes left her and scanned the rest of the scenario. Someone was out walking around in this weather in what looked a t-shirt and... Holy Cripes it was Nick. How in the world had he gotten all the way out there! Brian slammed his window shut with all his might. If she dares to touch one hair on his head... Brian was hurriedly tugging on some jeans when AJ slowly peered into his room, “I heard a lot of noise.. What’s going on man, where ya...?”

“No time AJ, Elaina’s got Nicky!” Brian was frantically searching for his tennis shoes.

“What?”

“They’re outside!” Brian was struggling to get his foot in his left shoe. He succeeded in falling on his face.

“Oh no,” AJ disappeared from the doorway. Brian grabbed his jacket, then after second thought grabbed another jacket. Nick would be soaked when he brought him back in... If he brought him.. No when he brought him in. Brian dashed out into the main room and was running to the door when Howie and AJ stopped him, “Wait a sec Bri.”

Howie was scribbling a note to Denise just in case she woke up. AJ was securing his hat and sunglasses, “Ok, lets go.”

Brian smiled at them then bolted through the door.

“I swear I’m gonna kill that kid,” AJ was griping, “What time is it 1.. Freakin’ 56 in the morning... What should I be doing SLEEPING, either that or getting laid. Whichever one comes first.” AJ was amusing himself, and trying to calm Brian down a bit. He wasn’t too worried about Nick. The kid would be fine, even after AJ whooped his behind for worrying Brian and Howie like that... Ok, so maybe he was a little worried too. A lot worried. What the hell was Nick doing outside at this time, in this weather without telling anybody? He was gonna kill him! “I’m gonna kill him!”

“Only after I kill him!” Howie huffed.

“Uh-uh, I’m his best friend and I get first dibs on killing him!” Brian shouted as the elevator doors open, and out stepped, “Kevin?”

Chapter 9

“Where the hell have you been?” Brian demanded of his cousin slamming him against the wall. A hall plant went toppling to its side spilling its contents onto the carpeted floor.

Kevin stood calmly in Brian’s hold, a small smirk on his face, “Nowhere.”

Brian slammed Kevin again, “Where the hell have you been?!” He repeated again, this time more forcefully.

“Brian, Brian, calm down,” Howie had hold of Brian’s shoulders trying to use physical force to calm him, “Think about Nicky. Now is not the time for another argument.”

Brian held onto Kevin’s leather jacket for a few more seconds before releasing him, “This isn’t over Richardson... Nick’s missing, have you seen him?”

Kevin was straightening his jacket and dusting himself off, as if he were removing germs that Brian may have left by touching him, “Nick? No, as a matter of fact I haven’t seen the little brat, not since this afternoon.”

“When you left him alone...” Brian accused.

“Chill B,” AJ snapped, he turned a cold gaze back to Kevin, “So you didn’t see him go outside or anything?”

Kevin shook his head calmly, “No. I am not a babysitter. If Carter can’t take care of himself, then he shouldn’t be on tour in the first place.”

Brian made a lunge for him, but Howie and AJ caught his arms and practically carried him to the elevator.

Did you do it?

Yes, I got rid of them all, Kevin grinned, Are you pleased?

Good. Very good, and yes Randall I am pleased. Perhaps I can make a place for you with me.

Kevin felt his grin broaden so much it hurt his face. Will you choose me over him this time? There was a short pause, then Kevin heard her laughter. Kevin felt his heart collapse inside his chest. She was rejecting him.. Again. 1920's.. 1990's... It didn’t matter every time he always ended up playing second string to him. But this time around... Maybe he could change her mind. Maybe he would be the one she chose in this new round of the game. But how would he come about that? He needed a plan of action, anything. All he was doing now was waiting on more instructions, which is what he did last time and where did it get him? He needed to prove to her that he was worth something. He was gonna show her, he was gonna show them all. Kevin flashed his most disturbing smile to nothing at all. This time around, he was going to win.

Chapter 10

“How are we gonna find him? How are we gonna find him? Should we have called the police or security?” Howie was panicking as they hit the first floor and zipped out of the opening doors. There was a small commotion in the lobby. Two big beefy men were standing back holding off a small crowd, and what look like... “Them again?” AJ removed his sunglasses to peer at 3 members of their rival group N’Sync rallying around the room. One was standing over the couch biting his nails, and the other two were at the front desk telling the clerk something in a hurry. AJ, Brian, and Howie ran right into the middle of the mess, being restrained by the two burly men. “Please, what’s going on?” Lance looked over to see them, “Let them through Ty, they’re his friends.”

“Oh no,” Brian whined as they were allowed to pass. He dropped to his knees beside his young friend who lie curled on his side on the couch. His whole body was bedraggled and covered awkwardly with a blanket. His face was a shade whiter than milk. His whole body was trembling, but his forehead was beaded with sweat. He was moaning about something and tossing and turning, “Oh Nicky.. What were you doing?”

Howie ran his hands through Nick’s soggy hair, “What happened? Where’d you find him?” he was trying to unsuccessfully to get the shake out of his voice.

Lance looked at them each in turn. They all looked sleep rumpled and scared, “Um.. We all went clubbing, but me, Justin, and JC wanted to get some sleep. We have to be up in a few hours... so we were coming back. And we had the cab drop us off a little before the hotel because one of our bodyguards called and said despite the weather there are girls waiting around the hotel. We were just gonna run for it and sneak in the side doors, but then we see this guy walking around in a t-shirt and boxers just getting absolutely soaked. And then JC recognized him and called out to him, and he.. He just started walking off into the street and this bus was coming and Lars was there just in time to yank him out of the way.” Lance glanced over at the heroic bodyguard who was kneeling beside Nick trying to hold his body still.

“Damn it, where were we..” Howie was cursing.

“The funniest thing was... when Lars grabbed him, he was asleep. Justin was the one who really noticed that he was asleep. Does he sleepwalk often?”

AJ shook his head “no.”

“Then Justin started telling us not to wake him up, but it was too late. All our yelling and Lars grabbing him... He stared at us for the longest time, then just passed out.. Again! So Lars carried him, we burst in here a few minutes ago. Justin and JC are getting an ambulance or something. It’s hard cause they’re trying to get a private one so he can go to a private hospital. The last thing we need is flocks of Florence Nightingale fans outside blocking the entrances to a hospital.”

JC and Justin ran over, “Why the hell do you guys keep letting this kid get away from you? We gotta stop meeting like this!” AJ couldn’t tell if JC was upset or joking.

“An ambulance is on it’s way. I told them to come around the side,” Justin looked cautiously out the front glass doors of the lobby. Lightening illuminated a crowd of fans holding posters and signs.

“Man, ya’ll need to control your fans!” AJ yelled.

“Um, AJ,” Howie tapped AJ’s shoulder, “Look.” He gestured for AJ to take a closer look outside. AJ saw his face and the others staring back at him, and plenty of “WE LOVE BSB” ‘s. “Damn it!” Security surrounded the building, AJ could now see their flashlights through the rain and darkness. He could hear ritualistic chanting, “Backstreet Boys! Backstreet Boys!”

“How’s he doing?” JC asked touching Brian’s shoulder. Brian was pressing his face against Nick’s chest, his heart was racing and his breathing was rapid, “Not good.” Come on Nicky, you gotta be ok, for me. Nick’s eyes opened a crack.

“Frack, Frack! Speak to me buddy.”

“She.. She... she’s gonna get what she wants... again,” Nick mumbled before shutting his eyes, lapsing back into unconsciousness.

“Hang on kiddo, just hang on..” Brian squeezed his hand again.

Chapter 11

“I don’t know how we can thank you..” Brian’s voice was distant. It sounded like Nick was underwater. Maybe he was. Maybe he was swimming, it felt like he was. His whole body felt loose and weightless.

“It’s ok. I’m just glad we were there...” the voice was vaguely familiar but Nick couldn’t place a name or face to it. He felt himself being lifted onto some kind of bed.

“If there’s anything we can do for you in the future you just say the words,” Nick heard Howie’s voice. Howie! Nick wanted to speak, but he was too weak to move his mouth. He saw a crack of light someone was looking at him... Unfamiliar face... Unfamiliar voice, “Nickolas, can you hear me?” he asked in a loud distorted voice. The light went out again. Nick could hear the voices swirling around him. Nothing was making sense.. Nothing. Why didn’t it make sense?

She stood in front of him pacing in her long skirts. Nick strained against the ropes that held him to the metal chair, “Fight all you want Nathaniel, those ropes will only cut you more, not give way.”

Nick blinked back tears of frustration and pain. He could feel the blood gushing around his wrist. “You’ll never get him Carmen. He loves her.”

“That’s what he thinks.. He’s just been bewitched by her evil Cajun ways... and I’m going to fight her with her own magic. I’m going to find them Nathaniel, you’re going to tell me what I need to know, and then I will use you as bait.”

“I won’t tell you anything!” Nick had screamed.

“You’ll soon change your tune...” Carmen started towards him holding a small flask full of swamp colored liquid, “Bottoms up...”

“Nicky? Are you there? Can you hear me? It’s momma, baby. Momma’s here,” a female voice crooned. Who was that again? Mom? Mommy? What was happening, why couldn’t he...

“Oh Nathaniel you’re going to be feeling much worse than that in a little while, get up!” Carmen barked at him. Nick tried to straighten out his weakened frame. His head was reeling, he wanted to be sick. “ What did you do to...”

“I made sure you wouldn’t be able to fight back...” Carmen spoke spitefully. He had spoken to Alexander, warned him that Carmen would be locating William and Lanie. Nick grinned, he had outsmarted her. But would he live to tell anyone of it, he thought this as he doubled over with another wave of nausea. A few passengers on the ship tried to come to his aid but Carmen was always there. He wanted to call for help, but she had his voice. He only prayed Alex could some way make it to William and Lanie first, it all fell on him now. Nick could do nothing more... but suffer.

“Are you sure they said they saw Kevin with him? But Kevin said he hadn’t seen him!”

“Now I will finally have William, the one I deserve... Aren’t you happy for me Nathaniel?” Carmen pranced about the lavish hotel suite she had purchased for herself and.. William.

“Carmen, when will you get it through your head that he doesn’t love you?” Nick asked raggedly, “His heart’s with Lanie, and it’s where it belongs. Leave them alone.” He was too weak. She didn’t even bother to tie him up this time. She let him lie mercifully on the bed.

“But whose to say I’m not her.”

“What?” Nick raised his weak fevered head to see Carmen pausing in front of the vanity table. She gazed oddly at her lovely reflection.

“How would he know..” she spoke again in a low wicked voice.

“Carmen?”

“Hush now boy, I’m plotting. Randall!” Carmen called as she ran beside the bed. Nick wanted to move, to shift, to see what she was getting out of her suitcase. He heard the door open and gazed up to see.. Kevin? Kevin, what was Kevin doing in this dream? “Randall... I want you to stay here and keep guard over Nathaniel here. He doesn’t leave this room, nor does she, or Alexander...”

“But they’re not..”

“They are coming. I know they are,” Carmen was muttering to herself as she ventured off into the bathroom.

“Randall why? I know you and William never really got along..”

“We hate each other,” Kevin said venomously, “And I hate you too, Mr. Perfect. How would your ‘perfect’ family feel once they find out you’ve been hanging out with that Cajun filth. Helping my brother elope with ‘it!’ Oh Nathaniel, you’ve made a terrible mistake.”

“My only mistake was trusting you!” Nick spouted dropping his head back onto the bed. He felt the sting of pain when Kevin slapped him, hard, “Now you listen here junior.. Mind your elders and never raise your voice to me again. Understand?!” He threatened to slap Nick again and he flinched, “I understand.”

The bathroom door flew open and Carmen appeared holding a heavy leather-bound book and what looked like a bone. She spread out a piece of cloth and sprinkled odd white powder grains over it, completely covering the fabric. She then sprinkled it with water. Nick watched in disgust as he watched the reflection of Carmen spreading and dropping dirt, insect parts, egg yolks... blood, on the silk cloth. She folded the ends of the cloth smooshing the contents together with her hands. Then she lit a small candle and ran the cloth concoction over the flame while hissing words in a language unknown to Nick.. Or whoever the person he was supposed to be. Nathaniel. That was his name. Carmen then unfolded the bag took a deep breath and pressed the gooey contents of the cloth to her face.

Kevin and Nick were enthralled, speechless watching her. After a few minutes she removed the cloth. Her face completely masked by the white powder, “Well Nathaniel..” the creature spoke. Her voice different, but familiar... It sounded like, “What do you think of me now?” The creature pulled away its white doughy mask and both Nick and Kevin gasped.

“Elaina?”

“Honey are you awake now? Do you understand me?” Nick saw the light again. It was going off and on, off and on.

“I think he’s coming to,” the female voice sounded excited, “Nicky?”

Nick’s fuzzy vision began to clear and he now saw a woman over him. She was looking down at him. Lanie? Was it Lanie? Lanie!

Soon darling, soon.

Lanie! It was dark again. Nick shut his eyes.

Chapter 12

“God, please help him. He’s only 19,” Brian was praying. He stood out in the hall watching through the glass as Nick’s mother stroked his hair and dabbed at his forehead with a moist towel.

“Brian, you need to eat something,” Howie placed his hand on Brian’s back.

“Not hungry, not right now,” Brian shook Howie away.

“Brian, you can’t help him now. We can’t help him now. Come on, he’s going to be ok. But I am not carrying you when you collapse from lack of nutrients.”

“He’s right Bri,” AJ had come to stand beside Brian and peer into the ICU room that contained their friend. Since it was a private hospital Nick got his own special room, “You haven’t eaten anything since last night.”

“AJ I can’t! Why am I so stupid, so careless! He was right next to me, and I couldn’t feel when he got up!” Brian pounded the wall weakly in defeat, “And why.. Why did we believe Kevin when he said he hadn’t seen Nicky?”

“Brian..”

“No! That bitch, she’s destroying me man. She’s destroyed me then, and she’s destroying me now! What did I do to deserve this? William died, and now I get his second chance, and it’s all happening over again!” Brian held his head in his hands. There was a shrill noise coming from inside Nick’s room. Brian, Howie, and AJ jumped to their feet as doctors and nurses rushed into the room. Jane was pushed aside. “Oh no.. Oh no..” Brian felt like the air was being squeezed out of his chest. He was suffocating, “I gotta get out of here! I gotta leave!! I’m so sorry Nicky!” Brian broke and ran. He heard the distant shouts from Howie and AJ but they didn’t attempt to run after him. They had let him go. Brian ran and ran until he was on his knees in the grass outside, gulping in large breaths of sweet air. He looked around him at the perfect sunny day. Not a cloud in the sky, but there were plenty of clouds in Brian’s heart.

“I know where Nathaniel is!” Elaina had jogged next to Brian. Where had she come from? She seemed to appear out of the.. No, no.. Perhaps she had been following him this whole time. “I told you to stay behind and wait for me!”

“You know I never listen!” Elaina said plainly, “and I know where he is!”

“How do you know?” Brian asked her looking amazed. She was beautiful, but dressed differently... His mind clouded a bit dwelling on that, but one more glimpse of her face erased his doubt, “Where is he?” He felt odd. There was something strange, an odd pulling sensation centered around Elaina. He stopped jogging to hold his head.

“Are you alright William?” she asked.

Brian rubbed his temples struggling to feel normal again, “I don’t know Lanie. I just feel funny, that’s all.”

“Well maybe we should..”

“NO! I have to save Nate!” Brian felt determination, “I got him into this mess, and now it’s my responsibility to get him out.”

“I knew you wouldn’t give up,” she said in an odd voice, “Come with me.” She took his hand solemnly and began leading the way.

Brian lie flat on his back in the grass. He opened his eyes only to be blinded by sunlight. He sat up to see he was still outside the hospital. He felt a small hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see her. Elaina. She smiled sweetly down at him, “Come with me Brian,” she said in an odd tone, it lulled Brian into a hypnogogic state. Her voice never raised, or sounded harsh, but it was laced with something. Something unnatural. Brian felt himself getting to his feet. She smiled slowly, “Come with me my Love.” She took his hand solemnly and began leading the way.

Chapter 13

“Where in the world could he have gone?” Howie was raging in the hospital lobby, “Why would he do this! He’s not even answering his cell phone!” He was pacing around the lobby, nervous energy fueling his exhausted body. He hadn’t gotten any sleep since he had awoken at almost 2 that morning. It was now 5 in the evening.

“Howie, calm down,” Denise instructed grabbing Howie’s torso and pulling him down into a chair, “I want you to get some sleep. You boys have been up half the night. Brian will show up... You need sleep Howie before you keel over too.”

“Ok, ok.. I’ll sleep...” Howie sat still for a moment, then jumped back up, “After I get another cup of coffee!” He jogged off towards the cafeteria, leaving Denise to sigh after him.

AJ was sitting alone in the cafeteria fiddling with his sunglasses on the table. A packet of cigarettes was sitting in front of him. He looked dead to Howie. Howie walked to him, “Hey Alex.”

“I think I wanna go back to the hotel Howie...” AJ said in a flat voice void of emotion.

That took Howie by surprise. He hadn’t even gotten a greeting of any sort, “You want to go back, why? Brian’s not there..”

“But Kevin is,” AJ said with a sneer. He never looked at Howie, he continued to stare off into space.

Howie was silent, then sat down across from him, “What are you gonna do?”

“I’m going to beat the crap out of him,” AJ said simply. He slipped his sunglasses back on his face. “You want to come Howie?”

Howie shook his head, “AJ, Nick is seriously sick. Brian is God knows where, and you want to kick Kevin’s butt?”

“I didn’t say kick his butt, I said I want to beat the crap out of him!” AJ put on his hat, “I’m gonna knock that lying smirk off his stupid face. He’s gonna wish he never left Kentucky.”

Howie stared at AJ, not saying anything to stop him, “And there’s nothing I can do to change your mind?”

AJ stood up and grabbed his coat, on a second thought he grabbed his cigarettes, “Nope.”

Howie nodded, “I wish you wouldn’t. I wish you’d wait and see if Brian came back. I hate thinking about having both of you gone and not knowing where you are.”

“I’m going to the hotel.”

“AJ, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“What?- You think I can’t take Kevin?” AJ looked insulted.

Howie only stared at him with his large brown eyes, “AJ... Just think about what you’re stepping into. Kevin’s acting really strangely. He could be dangerous. I don’t like the idea of you going back alone with him.”

“Then you come too.”

“No,” Howie shook his head, “You go ahead, but please think about it. When you come to your senses, maybe you’ll turn around and come back.”

AJ narrowed his eyes at Howie, “I have come to my senses.. See ya later Howie.”

Howie watched AJ’s retreating backside. AJ was gonna get hurt. Howie knew good and well that AJ wasn’t gonna come back. He didn’t have sense like that. He didn’t understand consequences. Kevin was bigger and stronger than AJ.. Kevin was.... Howie shook his head. No, Kevin was not evil... But Howie couldn’t help but feel the precognition of something bad happening, and no, he couldn’t make it go away. He didn’t want AJ in there, and he was the only person that could stop him right then. Howie sighed and got up from his chair. How far was AJ ahead of him? He hoped he could beat AJ before he had a chance to do something stupid. He hoped...

Chapter 14

Kevin sat on his bed patiently. He knew he would be there soon. He caressed the cool exterior of the ink black pistol. This time this scene would happen right, with no flaws this time. Kevin would prove to her that he was worthy. He sat in wait. Half an hour went by before he heard the main door to the suite opening, and he heard his name being called. It was time, time to finish this act.

“KEVIN!!” AJ yelled, “Come on out you dick head! I know you’re here!”

“No need to yell Alex, I’m right here,” Kevin stepped out from his bedroom door, “Did you need to speak with me about something?”

“Yeah, you lyin’ son of bitch, I need to talk to you about something!” Without another thought or word AJ pulled back his fist and fired it at Kevin face. The hard bones of his knuckles connected with Kevin’s upper lip with a sickening crack of flesh. Blood spurted and AJ pulled back his blood soaked hand.

“Ah, now this is familiar Alexander,” Kevin smirked.

“Don’t call me by my full name like I..” AJ felt the wind being knocked out of him as Kevin punched him in the eye, then doubled him over and kneed him in the chest.

“You’re so stupid, Alex. You were stupid then and you are still stupid now! You had a whole past life to learn to be smart but you remained uneducated!” Kevin flipped AJ onto his back landing a blow to his stomach, “You can’t stop her!- And you can’t beat me! I whipped you then boy, and I’ll whip ya now! But this time, this time nothing’s gonna mess up. You’re gonna die like you did then, and will now, with no mistake. No Cajun filth is gonna get in my way again!-Ugh!” Kevin staggered and fell to his knees after the blow given to his head. He tried to turn around to face his new attacker but what shoved over by AJ.

“Howie!” AJ was never so happy to see anybody in his life. Kevin was trying to recover but with Howie’s help, AJ was able to knock him down again, “You are one dead punk Richardson..” AJ hissed venomously, he kicked Kevin hard in the side. Kevin grunted and rolled over to his stomach.

“What was all that crap you just spouted to me about killing me in a past life... So you do know everything about that, huh, Richardson? Who is over all this? What is..”

“AJ LOOK OUT!!”

AJ’s eyes enlarged as he saw that Kevin had rolled quickly back onto his back holding a shiny black object. A gun! Kevin had a freakin’ gun! What was he doing with a gun? Kevin stood up slowly as AJ and Howie backed away from him.

“Kevin, put the gun down,” Howie was saying calmly, “If you shoot one of us, you’ll go to jail.. You don’t want that. Just put it down and we’ll go away.”

“You don’t understand,” Kevin said in a low almost unrecognizable voice. It was a snarl, “You have to die...” Kevin aimed the gun at AJ.

AJ felt the sweat trickling down his back. He could smell the pungence of his own fear. Kevin was going to kill them. He watched the cold glint in Kevin’s eyes. There was no feeling there, there was no Kevin. Suddenly AJ knew that that was not Kevin. It was someone else taking Kevin’s form. That was not AJ’s big brother behind those heartless eyes. AJ shut his eyes. He was not going to die like this, he was not going to let Howie die like this.. And he wasn’t going to let that thing inside his big brother continue to terrorize them. He bowed his head and with one loud battle cry he charged at Kevin full speed. His body moved like a bullet itself. He hit Kevin square in the stomach knocking him into the far wall over the couch, and knocking the gun from Kevin’s hands. AJ toppled over Kevin as Kevin’s body slid down the wall, his eyes glazing over...

“Nate? NATE? Oh no, buddy come on! No! No! Keep breathing damn you!” AJ hugged Nick’s lifeless body to his chest. His head hung limp and his blond hair fell brushing AJ’s bare arms. Elaina curled onto the bed sobbing violently, “He left me! He left me!” She sprang up from the bed, “He promised he’d never leave me! Nathaniel you said YOU’D LOVE ME FOREVER! You can’t die! You lied to me! You can’t die..” She took his limp form from AJ and held him. She cradled him like a small child, “I shall join you my Love. I shall join you shortly. You cannot be alone in the Great Gardens..”

“Lanie,” AJ choked out fighting the new tears that were threatening to come, “Lanie, I know its bad... But suicide is not the answer baby. Listen to me. When William comes back we’ll..”

“No, no, William’s not coming back! Don’t you know! Can’t you feel that he’s with her!!” Elaina raked her hands through her rumpled hair. Mascara ran down her fine cheekbones. Her eyes were wild hot pokers, “He doesn’t need me.. He has her! If I had just let her have him, this never would have happened.. I’d still have my Nathaniel! She wouldn’t have hurt him! She killed him Alexander, because.. Because I was selfish.”

“You are not selfish! You and Nate..” AJ paused to gaze down at the lifeless body of his brother”.. Were only trying to protect Willie.. You never meant to..”

“Well, well, what do we have here?” AJ turned to see a new face in the room, “Randall? Randall, Nathaniel’s..”

“He’s dead,” Kevin said simply, “It’s what he deserves, gallivanting around with this Cajun trash.” Kevin glared at Elaina with so much hatred she trembled. AJ stood in front of her, “You are to never call Mrs. Dumas by that name again.”

“Mrs. Dumas? Oh no, no Filth. You will never be a Dumas. Such a good name will never suit anyone of your... breeding.”

AJ felt something inside him snap, he charged Kevin with all his might knocking the larger man over. It was then that he realized he had a gun. He kicked the gun from Kevin’s reach. He saw it spin under the bed, good. He felt the fresh pain and blood of Kevin’s fists connecting with his skull. He tried to throw Kevin off, but Kevin was so much stronger, and weighed so much more. He felt lightheaded as he tried to defend himself. He scrambled his hands over the floor trying to find anything he could use to hit.. He found a table leg. With all his strength he grabbed the leg and flipped the table over striking Kevin in the forehead. He heard Kevin’s cry of pain. He used this moment to get to his feet. He whirled around to signal for Elaina to leave if she hadn’t already. She held the gun. She stood beside the bed, beside Nick’s body holding the gun to her head. “Lanie NOOOO!!” The gunshot erupted throughout the room like thunder, “LANIE NOO!” AJ tried to run to the bed but was grabbed by Kevin and thrown like a rag doll across the room. His body collided with the lantern table. Oil spilled sinking into the rug and running over the wood works and splashing into the curtains. AJ quickly shook himself and watched as the gun powder from the gun trickled into the oils. He gazed at her beautiful, beautiful face, now marred with a bullet hole. Her dead body drapped itself over Nick’s coating his angelic sleeping face with her fresh blood. He looked like he was crying tears of blood. AJ felt his rage building inside him like a volcano. He took the gun from Elaina’s limp hands and fired blindly. Never noticing that his blind shots were not hitting anything but the furniture. Gunpowder thickened in the room like fog, a flicker of orange let AJ know that a fire had been started. Kevin rammed him from the side, knocking the gun away from him. He felt himself being lifted and thrown and beaten. He fought back just a viciously, just as wildly. His animalistic rage powering his body, giving him the strength he needed to fight. The tongues of the flames licked their arms and legs as the men continued to fight. Both in a blind mad rage at each other. In one moment of triumph Kevin had AJ pinned to the wall and he continuously beat his head into the wall until AJ quit squirming, he kept beating him until the blood ran down his palms thick as molasses. He let go and watched as AJ’s now lifeless body slid to the floor. What had he done? He blinked as he felt the fog being lifted from his eyes. He was responsible for the death of... Oh God what had he done? He was going to Hell... He had murdered. He had broken one of the Ten Commandments... He was damned. He sat down on the floor, he was damned. He sat and watched as the flames consumed the room, and sat still as he felt the flames then begin to consume him. He was damned.

AJ felt Kevin’s tight grip loosening. Loosening from his throat. He heard his pathetic

sobs. Kevin was crying. Kevin’s arms dropped from AJ’s throat and fell to his sides, “What have I done.. What am I doing..?”

AJ pushed Kevin off of him, “You were trying to kill me.”

Kevin sat up to stare at AJ, “Oh God, I’m so sorry AJ, so sorry.. So sorry..” Kevin’s tears came quickly. “I don’t know what... It was her, and she..”

“What the hell are you babbling about?!” AJ yelled jumping up, “You were gonna put a large gaping hole in my body!”

Kevin tried to stand and was shoved back roughly, “You killed me Kevin! You killed Alexander! You’re the reason he died!”

“I know.. I know.. And I tried to do it again just now,” Kevin ran nervous shaky hands over his face. He walked towards the kitchen area and Howie moved away from him. He moved closer to AJ. “I’m no good. Why was I sent back?... I was a murderer.. I am a...” AJ and Howie heard him crying again.

“What’s going on AJ?” Howie looked at AJ with pure fear stamped across his face.

AJ blinked, he held his head massaging the new lump on his scalp, “We had a flashback Howie. We remembered what happened to them. We know what happened... Kevin was William’s brother Randall and he killed Alexander. Elaina killed herself... Nathaniel died. I don’t really think I know how...I think he was...was...” AJ’s eyes glazed over, “I don’t know... Kevin beat me to death, then let himself die in the fire. Guilt, I think,”

Howie stood staring and shaking his head, “You guys freak me out. You so freak me out!” Howie left the room slamming into his own bedroom and AJ could hear the door locking behind him.

AJ stood alone listening to Kevin’s sobs, feeling his pain and confusion rocking inside him like a sea. He walked slowly into the kitchen to see Kevin doubled over the sink the water ran flushing out the retching sounds he was making as he vomited. AJ crossed over to him and cautiously laid his hand on Kevin’s back, feeling Kevin tense up at his touch. The heaving stopped and AJ felt Kevin’s back straightening out. Soon he was looking into green eyes.. The green eyes that belonged to his older brother, “Kev? Are you ok?”

“No,” Kevin said in a small voice.

AJ nodded, “That wasn’t you before.”

“Yes it was.”

“No it wasn’t, it was Randall.”

“Who is inside me,” Kevin stated, “I was reborn to be him.”

“Yeah, the good him,” AJ said quietly, “But.. But something happened to make that dark side come out again.”

“She happened.”

“Elaina?”

“No, not her. It certainly wasn’t that sweet girl that I.. I.. Degraded. It was her, Carmen. The witch. She killed Nathaniel and William.”

AJ was rocked by this new information. Kevin knew the answers to things Alexander hadn’t, and AJ now would, “What? How did she kill..?

“She practiced voodoo and witchcraft and things. She hexed Nathaniel to weaken him, making him so ill he couldn’t fight back. She took William. She posed as Elaina.. She could make herself look like Elaina, and she tricked him. She took him away, and they both died. I don’t know how..”

“She can make herself look like... They drowned! Both William and Carmen’s bodies were found in a river. She can make herself look like.. BRIAN!” AJ’s eyes shot open, “Damn it Kevin! Brian’s been seeing Carmen thinking it was Elaina, and now he’s missing! Damn it! Do you know where she would take him?”

Kevin looked sick, like he was going to faint, “Oh God, what day is it?”

“Huh?” AJ was knocked off his train of though, “What does that have to do with anything?”

“It has everything to do with everything! What day is it?- As in the date!”

“The 17^th, October the 17^th. What are you getting at... Oh shit! Shit! The 17^th was the day all of us died ... That bitch is running this in chronological order?”

“Oh no, oh no B... She said she was going to have him... She said she was going to complete the cycle..”

“Which means she’s going to kill him again!” AJ felt his stomach doing jumping jacks. He was about ready to tell Kevin to shove over so he could be sick in the sink too. “Quick, we gotta get downstairs and find the closest body of water to us and pray that we’re not too late to save him!”

Kevin was nodding, trying to regain his composure.

“Howie!” AJ ran to Howie’s door, “Howie please, listen up. B’s in trouble, you gotta come with us to help.”

The door to Howie’s room opened cautiously, “How do you know?” 

“Howie, please.. We just gotta go! We’ll tell you in the cab,” AJ was pleading, grabbing onto Howie’s arms. Howie looked nervous, “I don’t know if I want to go anywhere with you two.”

“Howie, Brian ‘s gonna die!!” AJ shrieked, “If you don’t care FINE!” He stalked off grabbing his cracked sunglasses and hat lying scattered on the floor, “Let’s go Kev.”

Howie stared after AJ’s running form scrambling to pick up his necessities. He saw Kevin joining him at the door and gulped. He felt his knees knocking together. Kevin had wanted to shoot him. He had been willing to kill them... This was getting out of hand.. And now Brian was in trouble. Brian in trouble... Nick in the hospital fighting for his life... Brian in trouble. Kevin wanting to hurt him... Brian was gonna die. Howie grabbed his coat and began to run after the others. Brian was not gonna die, not if Howard Dwaine Dorough had anything to do with it

Chapter 15

“Where are we going?” Brian asked her, breaking the silence. They had been traveling for what seemed like hours, and probably had been judging from the setting sun. Walking with Elaina was beautiful. She was beautiful. She knew just when to smile and when to laugh. He knew why William had fallen in love with her.. And now he could feel himself slowly giving into her as well. She was so good and pure. But hadn’t she...? No, she hadn’t done anything wrong. She only loved him, and wanted to be with him forever. He wanted to be with her. He was sure of it now. He held her small hand in his and played with her soft ebony hair. He saw nothing but her.

“We’re going to be together Brian,” Elaina said lovingly, “No one will understand our love and how it can never be broken. They will try to take you away from me.”

“But I would never go away from you,” Brian said seriously, he gripped her hand.

“I need to know for sure,” Elaina looked deeply into his eyes, her rich brown eyes delving into his light blue ones, “I need you to prove it to me.”

“What are you..” Brian was confused.

“Prove it to me,” Elaina repeated in a lulling tone that rocked throughout Brian’s mind, dulling all his previous doubts to slumber. “Will you make the ultimate sacrifice, for me?”

Brian was silent gazing dreamily but steadily into her eyes, “Yes,” he spoke with utter and grim determination in his voice. He would do anything for her. Even die.

Chapter 16

“Can’t this thing go any faster?!” Howie was yelling at the taxi driver.

The driver murmured something about getting a speeding ticket and reckless endangerment sentence. “Hell for the tip we’re giving you, you should be willing to drive off a cliff going 90!!” Howie yelled at him.

“Howie, calm down,” AJ found himself saying. Wow, he never thought he’d ever hear himself say that. AJ pulled Howie back down onto the seat. He re-buckled his seatbelt. Kevin sat in the front with the driver. He sat at attention watching the road for anything that could be Brian.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Howie apologized wiping his eyes, “I’m exhausted, I’m scared, and I’m worried.... I’m also hungry. I’m not in the best of moods, and I want to kick Brian’s scrawny behind!”

The taxi driver did pick up more speed on the country road. There weren’t many people out driving, but those who were pulled over to the side of the road spitting curses at a pitch AJ thought only dogs could hear. He could see the water coming up. He saw the lake. He saw the gazebos and picnic areas, he saw a few scattered couples. “Please be here Rok. Can you drive us around the park?” AJ directed at the driver. The man nodded and proceeded to drive on the winding park roads. “Please God protect him until we get there... Let him be ok..”

“Stop, stop, I think that’s him... and he’s with... with.. STOP!” Kevin was out the door before the cab had completely stopped. He tumbled onto the grass but quickly jumped up and began running with AJ and Howie in swift pursuit. “BRIAN!! BRIAN!! GET AWAY FROM HER!!”

Brian stood at the lips of the lake gingerly taking his first step into the cold murky waters. She stood only a few feet in front of him, reaching out for him, “Please darling, please. Prove to me that you love me..”

Brian took another step and froze. Someone was calling his name. He turned halfway to glance behind him.

“NO! Pay them no attention! They only want to stop us from being together!” Her exquisite figure beckoned him closer. He took another step.

“BRIAN!! BRIIAAAN NOO!!”

“Do NOT LOOK BACK!” She bellowed.

Brian took more steps. The water was rising, rising to his waist, his shoulders, his neck... “Yes, yes, yes...”

“Brian!!” They were to the edge of the pool. He heard splashing behind him. He couldn’t turn, he must get to her. She needed him.

“YOU STAY AWAY FROM HIM!” She growled. Her eyes were red.. Her hair billowed behind her like smoke. Brian froze in his descent into the water. What was happening?

“He is mine, as he was years ago! William belongs to only me, no one else can ever have him!” She yelled. Brian paused and blinked. He stared at her. His angel was melting before his eyes and in her place was a monster. A monster with curling dark brown hair and he gasped, “Carmen?” He felt the heat of her gaze falling upon him, “NO! NO!” Her spell was broken. He tried to turn to swim away to his friends, “AJ! HOWIE! KEVIN!” His words were garbled as he felt himself being held and dunked under the water. The scenery bobbed as Brian felt himself being dragged deeper into the water. He was being drowned! He tried to fight it, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t breathe, and it was getting dark....

“If I can’t have you no one will!” She cursed to herself as she led him closer and closer to the brook, “Come to me, come to your darling Elaina... Soon we will be together, forever. It is the only way...”

He looked at her with eyes like glass, he followed her mindlessly. Together forever. He took his first step into the cold murky water, then another. He smiled as he saw her standing in front of him holding her arms out to him. His Elaina... He stretched out his arms to greet her and met the cool embrace of the rushing water. Elaina? His eyes searched for Elaina as he felt himself sinking, sinking without a hope of ever rising again. He felt his limbs going numb, his mind shutting down... Carmen, he thought, Carmen.

He could breathe! He felt the air rushing to him. He gasped and choked feeling arms pulling him out of the water, dragging him onto land. Dry land. He felt hands pounding his back, supporting his head. He heard voices speaking to him. He saw blurs of faces that began to clear momentarily. He was looking into the faces of his friends, Howie, AJ.. And his cousin Kevin who looked as bedraggled as Brian felt.

“Are you ok Bri?” Howie asked, “Is he in shock? I think he’s in shock.”

Brian laughed and the other three jumped, “I’m not in shock.”

“Are you ok?” Kevin asked. AJ was stripping off his dry jacket and wrapping it around Brian, “We gotta get him to the car. Get him warm.”

“You saved me,” Brian was mumbling, “Kev, I thought...”

“That’s over,” Kevin said firmly, “It’s all over Brian. We won.”

“We... won?” Brian was confused as he felt himself being lifted.

“You’re alive, I’m alive, Kev’s alive, and not evil anymore,” AJ added quickly, “Oh, and Howie believes us now.”

Brian blinked back his confusion, “Guys, I’m just now understanding that the girl in the water was Carmen... You’re going too fast for me. Now what happened?”

“Brian, we know how they all died,” AJ said, “We solved the mystery. Carmen was a witch.”

“Yeah, I figured that,” Brian muttered. He struggled against Kevin, wanting him to put him down, “So what was up with you Kev? Who were you?”

“I was your bad brother Randall. He loved Carmen and she.. She cast a spell over him,” Kevin blinked, “And I guess she cast a spell over me. I was Randall there for a little while. And I am so sorry for everything I did...”

Brian nodded, “Forget it Kev. You helped save my life.”

Kevin nodded and set Brian down inside the cab. AJ had opened the door. The driver stared at them each in turn like they were insane, but said nothing. He was probably thinking of the money and the free autographs for the kids.

“And now.. “ AJ said looking out towards the lake. When they had pulled Brian out all signs of Carmen has dispersed. It was like she crossed over when she couldn’t complete her task, “I think it’s over. The dreams, the flashbacks, the disappearing girls...”

“How’s Nick?” Brian interrupted AJ’s speech.

“Huh?”

“Nicky, is he ok?” Brian wrapped AJ’s leather jacket tighter around himself fighting his shivers.

“Nick.. Nick... what am I trying to remember,” AJ lowered his head to think.

Brian stared at him wide eyed as did Kevin and Howie, “He’s sick, really sick, and no one knows what’s wrong with him... Nathaniel... he was sick, he died.”

“Carmen’s hex.. Oh God!” Kevin gasped, “I didn’t think...! But maybe since she’s gone, her spell’s over. Nicky’s fine now. We got rid of Carmen, we beat her. Nick’s ok.”

Howie nodded, AJ nodded, Brian however was not so sure.

“We need to get to the hospital,” he uttered in an odd voice.

“Why, do you feel...”

“I’m fine. I need to get to Nick,” Brian said still in that odd way. He had an odd look in his eyes, “That whole time I thought Carmen was Elaina.”

He spoke as everyone else climbed into the cab. The cab began to move.

“Yeah, she fooled us,” AJ said patting Brian’s arm.

“No... “ Brian looked odd, “Carmen was with me.. But if Carmen came back, isn’t there a chance that well maybe Elaina may have come back too?”

“Yeah, but she.. She may have been reborn like us,” AJ shrugged, “I mean she was good, Carmen was evil.”

Brian nodded. “Maybe... or maybe not. Hey, can you drive any faster?”

The driver sighed, and wondered if the tip was worth the jail sentence he might get.

Chapter 17

The hospital was rather quiet when the four Boys entered. One nurse was on station and didn’t even notice Howie, Brian, AJ, and Kevin sneaking into the ICU room.

Nick’s mother was not in the room. She was asleep in the room beside it. Brian entered first. He knew something was odd about the situation, he knew something was off. He had to go in first and confirm his suspicion... and confirm his suspicion he did. Nick lay on his back an IV feeding him fluid intravenously. One machine monitored his heart rate while another regulated his uneven breathing. His face was haggard and sallow. His body was thin and undernourished and looked too small for the bed. Fine brown hands ran through his damp tendrils tenderly. They caressed his locks with such loving care it touched Brian’s heart. But he knew, he had known. He knew he would find her here. He walked to the bedside and took a seat beside his friend, across from her, “Hello Elaina.”

Chapter 18

She smiled at him kindly, “Hello Brian. I see you are alive and well, which can only mean that she is gone.”

“Yes,” Brian said to her. How could he have ever mistaken Carmen for the beautiful creature in front of him. Her beauty shined not only from the outside, but from within.

AJ stepped further into the room, “Elaina?”

“Hello AJ,” Elaina smiled at him.

“I saw you before. You.. You came to rehearsal that one day..”

She nodded. 

Brian blinked, “You were who Nick saw in his room that morning, and it was you.. You that I saw outside my window making it so I could see Nick.”

“I couldn’t let Carmen kill him,” Elaina said flatly.

Brian nodded, “No, you couldn’t... And I can’t let you do it either Lanie. You gotta let him go.”

Elaina’s eyes lifted from Nick’s sleeping form, “What?”

“What?” AJ, Howie, and Kevin gapped at him, then at her.

“He’s not Nathaniel, Elaina, his name’s Nickolas Gene Carter. He has a family that loves him. A career with fans that adore him. He has a new life Lanie. He was given a chance to live all over again, and you can’t take it from him.”

“But he promised me that he and I would be together forever.. But when we.. We died, our souls separated. He was sent back and.. And I was left to.. To nothingness. I was not allowed entry to the Garden...”

“Lanie, Nathaniel promised you, he’s not Nathaniel.”

“But his soul is Nathaniel’s... He is Nathaniel inside, I can see him!”

“Elaina, I don’t know what I can say to make you see that if you take him you’ll be making a mistake. You’re hurting inside, your spirit is troubled...

“No, I know what you’re going to say... You want to say let go. Let go of my grief and pain and loss... Let go of my anger and hatred, and most of all my guilt. That’s why I wasn’t allowed into the Garden. That’s what they all told me from the Garden gates. But I can’t, Brian,” Elaina looked into his eyes, “I can’t.”

“And why not Lanie? We all obviously could, I mean we were all allowed a second chance... a second chance to make things right, between us. Look how we returned. Kevin, AJ, Nick, and I are close as brothers... Howie is..”

“Howie feels left out,” Howie said sadly, “You are all joined together for a purpose, and hey I feel like the odd man out...”

Elaina was staring at him, “No Howie... you had a part in the past too... You don’t remember it yet? Do you Arturo? Poor Arturo Saldivar...”

“Arturo?” Howie asked curiously.

Arturo Saldivar clutched the small pouch his sister had concocted. He felt his anger growing by the minute. He should never have shown his sister “the art.” He should have never introduced her to “Mamma.” He only toiled with the craft for small things, but his sister was delving into the dark arts. He had to put a stop to this before she hurt herself or others...

He walked to his car opening the door.

“Hey Art!” Arturo turned to see Alexander grinning at him, “Are we still on for that round of poker tomorrow?”

“Are you still ready to give me your money?” Arturo laughed climbing into his car and waving at his old friend as he drove away. When he reached his house it was dim inside. He supposed his parents had gone out. He worried that he would not see his sister. Knock, knock, came at the glass of his window. He turned to see her pale beautiful face smiling at him. He smiled back and opened the door.

“Hello Arturo! I needed to ask you a favor,” she spoke quickly.

“What is it Carmen?” Arturo asked, knowing he would dread hearing it.

“Where is my pouch?” Her eyes had narrowed into mean slits.

“What?” he hadn’t been expecting this question from her. He thought she would ask for money, or a ride, or another visit to Mamma... How could she know..

“You want to stop me, don’t you Arturo?” Carmen spat out in a wicked tone, “But I’m not going to let you stand in my way..”

“Car.. Carmen what you are doing is wrong. I want to protect you. I wish I had never showed you those parlor tricks...” Arturo was beginning to get angry, “I want you to stop what you’re doing now, or I will tell Mother and Father.”

“No, brother, I will not stop what I am doing. I must have what I deserve, and no one will stand in my way. Not even you!” Arturo felt an intense pain in his chest. His sister, his own baby sister had stabbed him through the heart. As his life sluggishly bled out of him Arturo began to repent. Sorry for his sins.. Forgive my sister.. Forgive me.. What have I done? What have I started... God help them all...

Howie gasped and stumbled backward nearly knocking over a chair. Kevin steadied him and stared at his pale complexion, “You ok?”

Howie nodded, “I was murdered by my own sister.”

“Arturo Saldivar?”

“Carmen’s older brother. She murdered him and used his bones, his powdered bones in her spells...” Elaina said solemnly. She turned her attention back to Nick who was whimpering softly. “Soon darling,” she whispered smoothing back his hair.

“Damn it! If you love him why are you killing him?!” AJ stalked towards the bed wanting to take a swing at her.

“Because I LOVE him! He is destined to be with me! We’re soul mates! He PROMISED me that we’d be TOGETHER!” She cried, tears wetting her cheeks. “I’ve waited and I have waited for him to make good on his promise... and now it can finally happen. If I take him, we can be together, and I wouldn’t have to be alone anymore.”

“Elaina, if you would just let us help...”

“Do you know what it means to be lonely Brian? To be forced to walk the Earth almost 80 years with no companion... Nothing. I don’t sleep, I don’t eat, and I am met with only silence. To be lonely is to never smile, to never talk again to another living soul. To be rejected from both heaven and Earth. Colors are dull, smells are never flavorful, to touch means nothing. You feel like you are nothing, not important.. Forgotten, cast out. You long and long for just one touch, one taste, one sound from the outside world and when you finally think you can sample it, it is snatched away from you. Loneliness is isolation. Loneliness is Hell.. I don’t want to be in Hell, Brian, not anymore...”

“And when you take him what makes you so sure he’ll be with you Elaina?” Brian asked signaling for AJ to sit down.

Elaina blinked back tears, “I have to try.. I don’t know why I am being allowed to see and touch and communicate with you and him now. I have never been allowed to venture here.. I know it is because of Nathaniel. He was meant to be with me...”

“Or maybe you were meant to see that he was reborn and different Elaina. Maybe you were allowed this chance to see and talk to him so you would see what you needed to do with yourself Elaina. You’ve got to forgive yourself for whatever it is you think you’ve done wrong. You’ve got to let him go. If you were meant to be, then maybe you will come back as someone in Nick’s life... or maybe someone else near to him in another lifetime.,” Brian spoke calmly not really knowing where his words of wisdom were coming from. He was aware of the others staring at him.

“How can you be so sure Brian... William?” Elaina stared at Brian as if she was seeing someone else. Brian was blinking, “Elaina? Lanie?” Someone else was talking with his mouth, but instead of feeling afraid and fighting against it, he let it go. He knew who it was, and that person really did need to speak with his former lover.

“William? Oh William I am so sorry. Nathaniel and I.. We, we only wanted to protect you! I did love you, just not as I loved Nate... We both loved you and didn’t want you hurt... and because.. Because of my selfishness you both perished. I should have left you alone. Carmen should have married you..”

“NO! I never wanted to marry Carmen. And Lanie, I did love you. I would have been angry at first if you and Nate had told me.. But I would have understood. Love is never wrong no matter who it is between. Never blame yourself Lanie, it only brings about pain and suffering, and holds you back.”

“But William, if I..”

“And if I, Elaina, but it never happened. I.. We were given another chance. All five of us were brought back and linked togther to start over. This is what we should have been, and would have been if not for Carmen. Elaina, you should have been with us. But you can never be, until you let go. Let go Elaina.. Let him go. Yes, Nathaniel dwells inside him, as I do in Brian.. But I’m not Brian, and Nathaniel isn’t Nick. They are new people Elaina, new people with some old parts. He is 19, as was Nathaniel. Do not cut his fate short as Nathaniel’s was so long ago. Lanie, let go. Please join us. The Garden is beautiful, and when you are ready, you will be allowed to pass through those gates once more, to return. Maybe we’ll see you again.”

Elaina’s tears fell freely, she reached out to take Brian’s hand, “I love you William. I love you.. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry... And I.. I.. I’ll let go, for you. I’ll let him go.” Elaina removed her hand from Brian’s and stood. She leaned over Nick planting a small kiss on his forehead, “I love you Nathaniel...” She looked at Brian for the longest time, “You take care of him. That is the new promise I will leave here with. Promise me you will take care of him.”

Brian smiled. He was himself again. He felt William retreat back inside himself somewhere, “I will Elaina, I promise you that.”

She beamed, “Well, I guess I’ll...” She gazed around her suddenly her eyes opening wide with wonderment and awe. “What is... Oh...” She laughed and looked back to Brian, “I.. They say.. I’m going to the Garden now Brian! I’m going to the GARDEN!” Her voice was giddy and bubbly, she was ecstatic with joy, “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you Willie! I love you!” She waved as her figure began to waver and vanish into the thin air. A small twinkling light marked her exit. It faded momentarily. They all stared opened mouthed.

“Oh my God,” AJ collapsed into the chair behind him. Still staring at the place Elaina once stood.

“I second that one,” Howie breathed plopping down on the love seat. Kevin had also taken a chair.

Brian smiled to himself, “I guess they can start calling us the Ghostbusters too,” he grinned as the others booed and hissed at his lame joke. He began stroking Nick’s hair, he stopped and ran his hand over Nick’s forehead, “Hey.. Hey guys...” Brian felt Nick’s cheek, “He’s cooler. I think the fever broke.”

The others walked around the bed to peer at Nick and touch his face. Nick’s eyelids were fluttering. They opened focusing slowly, he tried to speak.

“Shhhh..” Brian shushed him, “You’re going to be ok, now. It’s all over. Sleep now.”

Nick’s eyes were hesitant, but still sleepy. They shut after another few seconds.

Brian laughed, “Guys...”

“Yeah?” they all looked at Brian and each other. They felt weird now knowing that somewhere deep inside themselves was the soul of another, and that they were all linked.

“Lets get some sleep.”

“I heard that one!”

Chapter 19

“So, so, it’s like we’re all, like, soul mates!” Nick blurted, frowning at the chicken noodle soup in front of him, then he replayed what he’d just said and blushed, “I mean, not like that... Not like girls and guys and love.. It’s like... You know it’s just we’re, like, all joined together as friends, forever...” He bit his lip as his mind struggled to come up with a word. His blond hair fell into his eyes and he swiped at it. Then his whole face lit up, “ Soul-buddies! That’s what we are!”

They laughed, they knew he was gonna come up with something like that. Only Nick.

“Soul buddies, Nicky?” Brian teased.

“Ok, so you come up with a better name,” Nick pouted, spooning up the gloppy noodles in his soup and letting them splash back down into the bowl.

It was two days later, and Nick was much better than he had been in weeks. “Nick, will you just eat that!” Kevin reprimanded.

“I hate soup!” Nick whined, “I want pizza, or at least something solid!”

“Nicky, eat the soup,” Howie petted his head, “If you eat it all.. We’ll see about getting your Sega snuck in here.”

Nick’s eyes widened with delight, within minutes the soup was gone.

“Knock, knock,” All heads turned to see the five guys standing in the doorway.

“Look, it’s N’Stink,” AJ chuckled.

“Aw shut up Backdoor Fag,” Joey teased, “Can we come in?”

“Wait, are those for me?” Nick questioned the candy and comic books they were packing.

“What these? Oh no, I just got hungry on the way up and figured I’d get some candy for myself,” JC shrugged.

“Yeah, and I got bored walking so I stopped and bought something to read, “ Lance said.

Nick’s eyes narrowed, “Well in that case.. Nurse.” Nick pressed his intercom, “There are five guys blocking the doorway to my room...”

“Oh no he is not!” Justin’s mouth fell open as he and his friends came into the room, “You did not press that button.” He approached the bed.

“I did so,” Nick smiled wickedly.

“So what do we owe the honor of having your visit to?” Kevin asked them, “Are there reporters out there or something. Publicity stunt?” He smiled letting them know he was kidding.

Chris laughed, “Yeah, there actually are... But no, we wanted to come and see how Nick is doing.”

“And to make sure you guys have him strapped down and safely secured in that bed,” JC added, “Next time we have to save the kid we’re going to send a bill.”

They all laughed as Nick frowned, “So how are you feeling?” Lance asked him.

“Well, I would feel a lot better if I could get some REAL food in here instead of soupy crap... And if I had my SEGA!” Nick folded his arms over his chest and made it a point to glare at his brothers who grinned.

“Nick did you call?” A nurse appeared in the doorway. Every mouth in the room but Nick’s dropped to the floor. She was a knock out. Where had she come from?

“You know, I’m suddenly not feeling so well either,” AJ mumbled to Howie who snickered.

“Yup,” Nick said.

“They sent me, the other nurses are ignoring all calls from your room,” the nurser tapped her toe,” What do you need now?

Nick grinned at her, and shot a glance at N’Sync, “Nothin’, I just wanted to see if you would come,” he lowered his voice and said, “You know that means you love me right?”

Brian rolled his eyes and chuckled lightly in spite of himself. Only Nick!

“Yeah,” the beautiful nurse said, smiling suddenly, “And you know what Nick, I’m glad you called me in here. I now recall it being your nap time.”

Nick’s smile faded, “What? Oh come on, the guys are here!”

“Uh-uh, Nicky-boy, if you want to be leaving this place anytime soon you gotta get your rest,” The nurse was coming to Nick’s bedside, pushing away his TV tray, and lowering his bed.

“See ya Nick,” The guys were saying as they slipped out of the room. JC and Lance left the gifts on the table. Brian was the last to leave, he lingered in the doorway a bit to watch over his Frack.

“But Nurse Lanie!” Brian heard Nick whine. He froze and stood in the doorway a while longer. Once the nurse had Nick tucked in she clicked off his light and ran into Brian standing in the hallway, “Nurse Lanie?”

“Melanie actually,” she smiled. Her smile was so familiar to Brian, yet he couldn’t place it. He smiled back though, “Well Nurse Melanie, thank you for taking care of my little brother. I know he can be a pain, but I also know he’s in good hands.”

She nodded and winked, “Well, see ya around.”

“See ya.” Brian smiled as he watched her walk away, and good luck to you.. Lanie. He walked on down the hospital corridor. He had to find Howie and finish plotting on how they were going to get Nick his Sega. Then he had to call Miles Berns and tell him that they wouldn’t be needing that new information after all. And later still, he would call Leighanne. It was time. He still didn’t know what he would say to her, or the name of a florist in Florida who would deliver flowers at 2:00 am in the morning... He smiled to himself. He had been given another chance and he was going to make good of it.

“Hey Brian, come on!” Howie called.

“I’m comin’, I’m comin’!” Brian called back. He jogged into the hospital gift shop where Howie, Kevin, and AJ stood waiting for him. His brothers, his soul buddies... Nick was such a dumb ass.

“Show me the meaning of being lonely”

So many words for the broken heart

It’s hard to see in a crimson love

So hard to breathe

Walk with me, and maybe

Nights of light so soon become

Wild and free I could feel the sun

Your every wish will done

They tell me...

Chorus

Show me the meaning of being lonely

Is this the feeling I need to walk with

Tell me why I can’t be there where are

There’s something missing in my heart

Life goes on as it never ends

Eyes of stone observe the trends

They never say forever gaze

Guitly roads to an endless love

There’s no control

Are you with me now

Your every wish will be done

They tell me

Chorus-repeat

There’s nowhere to run

I have no place to go

Surrender my heart, body and soul

How can it be you’re asking me to feel

the things you never show

You are missing in my heart

Tell me why I can’t be there where you are

Chorus-repeat

The End

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