Lost Time

By: Eboni Ardell

Prologue

The smell of gun powder was prominent. The power of it all. The gray haze finally lifted and his mind cleared. Using one hand he removed his goggles and laid them down on the chair beside him. He hummed to a familiar tune showcasing a rather amazing vocal prowess. He lifted a soft black case from onside the chair and set it down on the wooden frame. He sighed with contentment and gazed one more time at his precision. The man- shaped target sat nearly 100 ft away, bullet holes dotting its body in all the vital places. “Bull’s eye,” he said softly with a slight giggle. He gently set his revolver down to open its casing. It was a matter of seconds before the weapon was dressed and ready to be packaged. He caressed its glossy surface one last time before he put it away. Something vibrated in his back pocket and he reached back to extract a cell phone, “Hello?”

“Meeting in 30 minutes, don’t forget,” the voice on the other end said.

“I won’t forget,” he said calmly. He hung up the phone and closed its flaps. He tucked it back inside his pocket and lifted his gun case. He wondered just how long it would take him to get down to Jive records from here anyway? It had been a while since he had driven there, and it would be a totally new to trip to him traveling from this location. He thought about this as he headed to his car. Perhaps he should call and alert the guys that he was going to be late.

Chapter 1

Just a pinch of clover, that would add more to the flavor. AJ McLean sampled his creation for the millionth time.. He felt someone leaning over his shoulder. He raised his stirring spoon and gently placed a taste of his concoction into Amanda Latona’s open mouth, “Mmm.... I love a man that can cook.”

“That’s why I learned baby, just for you,” AJ laughed, then glanced at the timer, “Oh damn, my sauce is gonna burn...”

“That’s not all that’s gonna burn, Alex. What time is your meeting?” Amanda asked untying his white apron.

“Oh that’s not til 2:30,” AJ waved it off and went to turn the fire down under his sauce.

“Darling?”

“Yea?” AJ turned to look at her.

“Avert your eyes to a real clock, not a kitchen timer, and see what time it is, love,” Amanda gestured to the kitchen wall clock.

“Oh shit!” AJ stared at the clock, 2:10, “Oh man, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I did, and every time you would wave me off and tell me you had plenty of time,” Amanda said sampling more of AJ’s seafood fondue, “Mmmm babe, this is so good.”

“Hey,” AJ brushed by her, “don’t touch that food, I’m not finished.” He grabbed his keys off their rack, “I’ll be back in an hour or so...” The back door closed.

Amanda waited until she heard the latch click, “Bye babe...” she moved in on her prize with a spoon. The door swung open, “I mean it babe, don’t touch my dinner!”

“I was just gonna stir it!”

“You better now?” Brian Littrell came to kneel in front of his friend Nick Carter. Nick nodded and gave a small smile, “I’m good.”

“Ok,” Brian offered Nick his hand and pulled him up. Brian handed Nick his water bottle. He stepped back onto the matt and resumed his routine. He picked up his staff and began to maneuver it with ease. Many months of practice enabled him with the skill. He went through a series of twirls, punches, and kicks. He felt stronger and at the same time more at ease with himself after immersing himself in the martial arts.

He got a light applause when he was done, and he wiped the sweat from his brow. He looked up at Nick and grinned, “Don’t you have anything better to do than harass me Carter?” Nick smirked, “Actually no, since you dragged me here.”

“Well I didn’t know you’d be such a wuss and punk out on me after a few moves,” Brian chuckled lightly, winking at Nick to let him know he was kidding. Nick pouted and tucked his inhaler away in his back pocket, “A few moves,” he snorted, “You mean a whole freaking aerobic, kick boxing, ninja showdown. Damn. You do this everyday?” Nick ran a hand through his sweaty hair. Brian nodded, “Yeah... you get used to it after a while. You can used to it too. You can start coming with me, it’s not like you don’t have the time,” he added the last line quickly as he saw Nick’s negative expression, “Hey, you’ve got all those weapons in the house, maybe you can start learning how to use some of them. And besides it’ll do you some good. The exercise would be good.”

Nick rolled his eyes, “Oh Brian those weapons are for collection only, but you’re wrong, I can use a few of them.” Brian patted his back, “Fencing, I know, and the guns... Nick about the guns, I don’t know if...”

“Oh don’t knock my hobby, Dr. Gaines says it’s perfectly healthy,” Nick said closing his ears to the standard argument Brian always gave when this subject was brought up. He glanced at his watch absently and looked away, then he did a sudden double take, “Hey Bri?”

“Yeah Nick?”

“Don’t we have a meeting today?”

“Damn it I knew I was forgetting something!”

“Thanks again for the ride D,” Kevin Richardson climbed into Howie Dorough’s car. Howie nodded without giving Kevin a proper greeting, “Now we’ll only be 20 minutes late,” Howie said in a low voice as he accelerated from the theater.

Kevin groaned and settled himself in the seat, out of all of the guys why did Howie have to be the closest on the way to him? Kevin had been inside at the theater watching an old classic and had lost track of time. His wife had dropped him off there earlier and they had made plans for her to come back and get him and they were going to go out. Then about halfway through the old flick Kevin remembered the meeting. Howie, Howie would just be leaving from his therapy and it would be on the way, so Kevin had called him. Now he wished he hadn’t. Maybe he should have just waited for Kristen to come and been extremely late, anything would have been better than riding with Howie.

Howie once upon a time was the nice one, the reasonable, even-tempered-one. Now he was the bitter one. No one wanted Howie’s company anymore. He could make a wedding seem like a funeral.

“So, how was your afternoon?” Kevin thought he should try to make small talk, apparently Howie didn’t think the same thing, “I was in a shrink’s office Kev, all afternoon... It was wonderful.” He was silent after that and turned up the radio. Kevin sighed loudly and looked out the window, this was gonna be one long ride.

AJ parked his car and climbed out quickly, he looked at his watch, 2:51... The guys were gonna be... Woah. He jumped back as Brian’s car, containing both Brian and Nick whipped into a space not too far from AJ’s car. Well, at least he wouldn’t have to walk in alone. He made his way over to the car. Nick and Brian were getting out, they were wearing gym gear and looked sweaty. AJ could imagine their not so fresh scents. He wrinkled his nose just thinking about it. “Kevin and Howie are gonna kick our...” he began when he heard the soft purr of an engine behind him. Howie’s car cruised up beside him and Kevin stuck his head out the window, “Aren’t you boys a little late for this meeting, I thought it started at 2:30?”

“Well look who’s talking,” Nick sneered, “Get outta the car Country Grammar, we got work to do.”

Chapter 2

“You know, I bet they’re going to start holding these meetings at 3, but tell us they’re at 2:30, cause that’s what time we usually get here,” Nick was uttering as he took the stairs two at a time to keep up with the others. Why were they traveling so fast? It wasn’t like they were going to miss something. Who ever heard of starting the meeting without the clients? That’d be pretty pointless... but it would be cool. Meetings they never had to show up to... Was that called telepathy, astral projection...something like that...?

“Nick.... Hey....las Carter! Snap....it!” He felt someone shaking him and he snapped to attention, “What?”

“Dude, you gotta stop doing that,” AJ grabbed him by the arm, “You freak me out when you do that.”

“Do what?” Nick’s face was a blank wall as he stared at AJ oddly.

“Forget it Nick,” Kevin said pushing him ahead while shooting a look at AJ as he walked by.

They entered an empty conference room. “What gives?” AJ shrugged planting his rear in a leather chair, “I burn my perfect dinner for an empty room?”

Just then the door on the opposite side from where the Boys had entered opened and 3 people in business suits came in holding briefcases.

“Guys, the meetings was at 2:30. Why are you just getting here?” AJ leaned forward in his chair setting his elbows on the glass table.

“Well,” Sara Simmons said smoothly, “The meeting is actually at 3, we just told you 2:30 so you’d be here around this time.”

Nick’s mouth fell open, “Woah... So weird.”

“Shut up Nick,” Brian snickered elbowing Nick and taking his place in a leather chair beside AJ. It seems everyone was rushing to sit in the middle chairs... no one wanted the chance of being stuck next to, “Howie! Oh come on! Why do I always have to sit by Howie?” Nick said rather loudly to Kevin, who buried his head in his arms to smother his laughter. Nick’s bluntness could be hilarious sometimes, now being one of those times. Brian and AJ raised the large folders that had been laid down in front of them to their faces so they could snicker behind them.

Howie’s glare, that was directed at all of them, was not missed. Nick blinked at him and shrugged it off, he sat down unhappily in his seat beside Howie.

“Say a word to me Carter, and you will regret it,” Howie snarled to Nick who slumped even lower in his seat, his displeasure with the situation obvious.

“Before you start I just wanna let you all know that I am well aware of what this meeting is about,” AJ said boldly setting down the folder he had been using as a shield from Howie’s glare.

All eyes looked to AJ, mildly amused, well except Howie’s... His expression was one of annoyance. “Oh do you now?” Peter Reynolds blinked, “Well, why don’t you enlighten us Alex?”

AJ rubbed his chin trying to detect any sarcasm on Peter’s part. He let it go after a few seconds and cleared his throat, “You guys want us to do some promotion stuff for the new album, since it’s out now and all. Am I right?”

Sara smiled, “Well Alex, you are partially correct.”

“Ooooh!” Nick and Brian said, “Wrong!”

“Shut up, she said partially correct...”

“Which does mean half wrong?” Nick said with a smirk then turned to glance at Howie doing a perfect AJ impression, “Am I right?”

Brian and Kevin hooted with laughter, while Howie rolled his eyes, and AJ’s mouth was scraping the table, “You got some nerve Carter.”

“That’s not all I got,” Nick said, he began drumming a beat on the table, lost on his previous train of thought. He was in “Nick’s World” now.

This did not go unwarily noticed by management, “Ok gentlemen. The deal is, the fans are ready for a tour.”

Five pairs of eyes all snapped toward management. Looks of horror and shock were printed across their faces, “Tour?”

“Now?”

“But we...”

“Guys, before the freak out, let us explain some about the tour,” Derrick Johnson stood up holding out his arms in a manner that was meant to calm the Boys. Five fearful gazes directed themselves at him, “You will not be on tour alone.”

“That...”

“Let me finish. This tour consists of multiple acts, think of it like a more sophisticated version of the Nickelodeon All That Tour, Nick’s little brother Aaron performed in. This tour is a mixture of the hottest teen acts today. You’ll put on a 7 to 9 song set, the songs will be off the new album. Then after you perform another group or performer will go out. So there’ll be a lot of other people accompanying you on tour and lots of security and guards and police. It’ll get you guys out of town and back into the swing of things, a push back into the real world. You guys have had enough down time, enough time to be in your own little bubbles, and heal and get over... get over what happened. ”

“How can you be the judge of how long we need to get over being held hostage?!” Howie demanded, “Who do you think you are now? We’ve had...”

“You’ve had nearly 3 months off, time to get back to work,” Janice Cumming said simply.

“We did work! We recorded an album, we made a video!” Brian was pointing out.

“And now you have to let the people now you are really and truly still alive by letting them see you,” Sara said, “The tour will be for 8 weeks and spots have been reserved for you, N’Sync, 98 Degrees, Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, Monica, and Samantha Mumba. There’s really nothing to worry about... And your bus will be extra large, so you Boys can have all the space that you like. You’ll have triple bodyguards and security. You’ll never be on the bus without two or three just to ride with you.”

“But...”

“And your new road manager...” Derrick paused, looking for reactions among his clients, they simply sat looking pale and horror-stricken, “He won’t ride on the bus with you, he’ll follow behind in a van also flanked with security.”

“All the plans have been made and arranged, we just need you to sign the contracts,” Janice nodded to the folders that lie in front of each Boy, “Think about it guys. Take it home and look it over, and think about what we’ve said. It’s time to get on with your lives and with your careers. I know you’re scared, but you guys are going to have put your toes back in the water sometime.”

“Think about it,” Peter said. The four business people stood together and dismissed the meeting biding a farewell to the five stunned Backstreet Boys.

Chapter 3

“No!” was Howie’s flat answer. The Boys sat in an Italian restaurant a few blocks from the Firm headquarters discussing the contracts.

“Howie, I know how you feel, but they made some good points, “ Kevin said, he took another fork-full of chicken parmesan from his plate and tucked it inside his mouth.

“Who cares? I’m not ready; I don’t want to go,” Howie said folding and unfolding his napkin in his lap, his food sat untouched.

“Howie, none of us feel ready. None of us really want to go... but they were right. If we still want our careers we need to get back out into the public. The more time we take off and put off doing it, the harder it will get. And in this business you know what will happen to us then. We can pretty much kiss our careers goodbye,” Brian said sticking his fork in his lasagna.

Howie sat silent and cold as a stone.

“Come on Howie, we can’t do this without you, and as of now... I’m signing the contract. Brian and Kevin are gonna sign.. Nick is... Nick, what are you doing?” AJ stared at the youngest member of the group. Nick had somehow arranged his spaghetti and bread sticks into a fort with a flag and a cannon, his obvious disinterest in eating and the conversation was apparent.

Nick continued to shape his food removing his straw from his soda and using that to dig a mote in the tomato sauce. Kevin and Brian looked at him, for the first time in a while, in shock. They were speechless.

“Nick?” AJ reached across the table from Nick and snatched his straw, “We’re discussing the contracts, are you signing yours?”

Nick was hesitant to look up at AJ, at the others, “Well I don’t have much of a choice do I? If you guys are all signing then I guess I have to, too.”

“Well Howie may not be signing,” Brian said shooting a look at Howie, “You could side with him.”

Nick shuddered as he thought about being the one to side with Sour ‘D.’ He giggled at his little joke. “Nick?”

“Huh?” Nick blinked, “Yeah, yeah,” he waved his hand absently at the others who stared at him intently, “Fine I’ll sign. I don’t care...” His eyes turned dark for a few seconds. He looked at each one of them, “But you guys have to promise me something...”

“What?” Brian asked, frowning with concern at the darkness he had just seen pass through his friend’s eyes, which was usually a sign of some psychological distress.

“You guys won’t leave me alone will you?” Nick reached out and grabbed the hand of the person nearest to him, which happened to be Howie’s, “You’ll stay with me?”

Kevin’s heart just about broke seeing that expression in Nick’s eyes, and hearing his desperate plea to be secure. Brian gave him a warm smile, “Of course Frack, of course. I told you, you’d never be alone, and you won’t be. We’ll be together at all times kid.”

AJ simply nodded ruffling Nick’s hair playfully, “You’re stuck with us kid.”

Nick seemed to calm down a bit, his eyes lightening up, but he kept a firm grip on Howie’s hands.

Howie fought to pull his hands back, but Nick held them tightly, “Howie? You won’t leave me will you?” he asked innocently. Totally unaware of Howie’s discomfort, his not wanting to go on tour. He was only aware of Howie being the only big brother that hadn’t assured him that he wouldn’t leave Nick by himself. He needed to hear it. He needed to hear it, they couldn’t abandon him... No they couldn’t... He would never be in the dark maze again. The dark cold maze, the one with the blood stained snow... The one where he could hear the voices of his friends and family, but could never see them. He had been alone then... he’d been all alone...

“Damn it Nicky,” Brian was saying softly, “He’s doing it again.” Brian dipped his fingers into his water glass and flicked a little water out onto Nick’s face hoping to wash off his blank expression.

“Howie, say you won’t leave him alone!” AJ was demanding of Howie, whose hands Nick still held, though he was not looking at Howie. He wasn’t looking at anyone exactly, but past them.

“At least he’s not hyperventilating this time,” Kevin said, after kicking Howie under the table, trying to prompt him to speak to their entranced fifth member.

Howie grunted. Nick’s grip was strong, and he was starting to crush Howie’s fingers. Howie could feel his shivers through his trembling yet still devastatingly firm grasp. Howie looked briefly at Nick’s face and sighed deeply, “No Nick.” He gave Nick’s hands a squeeze ignoring the agony he was in, “No, I won’t leave you alone either.”

Howie and the others sat quietly watching Nick’s return to reality. His eyes slowly lost the glossy look and he blinked. He shook his head and released Howie’s hands. He looked back down at his food instead. He retrieved his straw and went back to his mote.

The older Boys all exchanged wary looks, “You see, we’re not ready,” Howie said firmly, “Suppose he goes out in public and has one of those attacks? What if next time he’s not so quiet about it, and starts having an asthma attack. He’s done it too many times before.”

Kevin was shaking his head, “Howie, we’ll have to take that chance. Who knows maybe this will be just the thing to cure him of it.”

Howie looked dubious, but did not say anything else.

They sat in silence for a few moments.

“I’ll sign it,” Howie said quickly.

Kevin nodded, “Thank you Howie.”

“Nick, you ever gonna eat that?” AJ elbowed Nick. Nick rolled his eyes up to AJ, “Why Bone? You want it?”

Normal... he was completely normal now. Like he hadn’t just had a psychotic fit a minute ago. He didn’t even remember it, AJ knew. That’s how Nick was. He had some weird psychological problem, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, where he would practically take leave of reality and lapse into a series of flashbacks and nightmares that leave him breathless, literally, sometimes. He had them while he was asleep and while he was awake. AJ seemed to find the attacks more disturbing when they happened in the daytime when Nick was wide awake. He was getting better, much better about them. But there were still those certain events or words that were spoken or a sound that would go off that would send him off into “Nick Land.”

Nick’s psychiatrist used a cognitive behavioral strategy on him combining exposure therapy with teaching him how to relax, and to think differently about what happened. He and Nick had become really good friends. All the Boys had become good friends with their counselors, except for maybe Howie. Their counselors convinced them each to take up a new hobby that would help them release their anxieties and stress. It did wonders for AJ. He had taken to cooking. It had been a joke at first, but now he loved it. The hobbies seem to do wonders for everyone, and every now then they would try to involve each other in each other’s hobbies. AJ giggled as he remembered Brian and Nick in cooking class with him. Those two proved they could burn water, and were banned from kitchens everywhere.

Nick’s hobby of weapon collecting as part of his exposure therapy, had been rather disturbing at first, but after a few weeks the guys could see more of a change in him. The sight of weapons, especially guns, and the sound of their fire, even in movies, were trauma-related cues that sent Nick into panic attacks. After weeks of being forced to handle them, and going to shooting ranges with Dr. Gaines learning how to fire a gun, and learning to calm himself when he felt himself getting worked up by the explosions, the boys could see a definite change in Nick. Another few weeks went by, and Nick admitted he was taking an anti-anxiety drug as well to level out his moods. AJ recalled not being too happy about it at first, but after a talk with Nick’s doctor and just spending time with Nick, he finally came to think of it as something positive, and most importantly, temporary. Nick just needed a little more time to deal, and in the mean time, give him something that will keep him from harming himself when the others couldn’t be with him.

“No, I don’t want it after you put your nasty hands all in it,” AJ said making a face at him.

“I washed my hands,” Nick said. He picked up a fork and poked at his lunch.

“Have you eaten at all today Nick?” Kevin asked tapping the table in front of Nick to get Nick’s highly evasive attention on him. Side effects to the drug... Nick was never too attentive to begin with, so one can imagine what getting him to concentrate was like then.

Nick gazed at Kevin. He appeared to be thinking...

“I made him eat before we worked out Kev,” Brian answered for Nick, “but that was a while ago, Nick. You should eat now too.”

Nick narrowed his eyes at Brian, “I’m not a baby.”

“I know you’re not. Now eat your lunch,” Brian said with a grin.

Nick stuck his tongue out at Brian, but he did obey and eat a fork full. He chewed it thoughtfully and then set down his fork to sip his soda. Side effect number two, their resident Pig-Out King had taken a sabbatical. Nick’s appetite decreased, leaving him rail thin. People actually thought he was on drugs, the illegal kind.

“So um... when do we start getting in shape for the tour?” Brian asked glancing back over the contract, “I mean, we’re pretty out of the mix. Fatima’s gonna want to put together some routines for the new songs, and we need to practice. None of us has sang since we recorded for the album, and that was months ago, and dancing and singing? We’re screwed.”

“Screwed? Well, we all know Brian is.... screwed. Kevin too. Maybe AJ. But I, am not getting any action what so ever, and I know ain’t nobody laying Howie or else he wouldn’t be in such a bad...”

“Nick!” Brian and Kevin admonished. The things he could just burst out and say sometimes!

AJ laughed and slapped him on the back nearly sending Nick into his spaghetti-art. Nick grabbed the table to keep his face from hitting the saucy dish. “AJ... you trying to kill my ass? I could have fallen face first into this tomato sauce, been knocked out by the force of the blow, and drowned in my Italian gourmet.”

AJ blinked at him, “Now you guys see, this is why the press thinks he’s on drugs. Only a crack head would make a comment like that one.” He ruffled Nick’s hair.

“I’m not a crack head!” Nick said pouting he broke off a piece of bread stick and shoved it into his mouth.

Howie scowled at him, “No, you’re just an air head. If this meeting is through, I’m out.” Howie laid down a few bills for his check and left.

“Well,” AJ said watching Howie go.

“Did he leave enough for a tip?” Nick wondered reaching over to collect Howie’s cash and count it.

“Man, we cannot go on tour with Howie acting like that. The press and the fans are going to see right through that and start hounding us,” Brian said staring after Howie’s retreating backside. He sighed deeply and ran a hand through his curly blond hair, “but I don’t know what we can do to help him.”

“We’ve done all we can,” AJ said with a shrug,” and frankly I’m just fed up with his attitude. We all went through the same shit.... we all almost got...” AJ paused and began to crack his knuckles, “Hey guys, I’m going to the store after this. I need to get some groceries, I’m suddenly in the mood to bake.”

“Desserts?” Nick looked excited, “Need help.”

“No way Smokey,” AJ laughed.

Brian giggled, “You are never going to let us forget that are you? Set one kitchen on fire and you’re labeled for life as a fire hazard.”

Shrill ringing erupted from Nick’s back pocket. He glanced at his watch before answering the phone, rolling his eyes ever so slightly, “Hello Mother.”

“Momma’s boy, Momma’s boy,” Brian began to chant in a high pitched sing-songy voice.

“Shut up!” Nick hissed, “No not you Mom, it’s Brian! She says ‘hi,’ Brian.”

“Hi Mrs. Carter,” Brian said then began mouthing the words, “Momma’s boy,” at Nick who tore off another piece of his bread stick and chunked it at Brian.

“Guys, no food fights,” Kevin tried to intervene but caught parmesan in his left eye.. It was on now. It only took a minute for ravioli and meatballs to be volleying back and forth. People turned to stare, Who in the hell are those idiots back there causing all the commotion?

“Well, those idiots are the Backstreet Boys, and yes, Backstreet is back. They will be joining the Festival Tour along with fellow acts such as rival band N’Sync.” Footage from Antoine’s Italian Restaurant was flashed briefly across the screen. Glimpses of guilty Backstreet Boys, minus Howie Dorough, apologizing for starting a food fight and offering to pay for damages were aired.. Then that clip faded out into a general publicity group picture of the Boys, and then one of N’Sync. “All the teenagers in America will be looking forward to this tour. And that is all for 10 to the hour every hour on MTV, I’m Kurt Loder.”

Chapter 4

“Damn it we’re never gonna get this right, and we have how long?” Howie was fuming, hurling his chair across the stage. He whirled on Fatima who was coming to get in his face and reprimand him, “Listen Howie, I know you’ve been through a lot, but your attitude stinks! I don’t have to take this from you or anyone...”

“Then why don’t you just leave. Paycheck will be in the mail!”

“Howie shut your ass!” AJ yelled shoving Howie out of Fatima’s face, “You have a serious problem Howie. I don’t know who you think you are, but you ain’t the monarch here. Either get with it, or get out, cause we ain’t getting nothing done with you here!” AJ’s eyes were narrow slits as they glared Howie down. Kevin gently pried them apart, “Guys we don’t have much time. Can’t you just buckle down and make this work,” his voice was tired and weary, he was on the verge of giving up himself.

“Make this work?! Oh wait, when you said buckle down, you looked at me!” Howie yelled pushing Kevin back, “Like I’m the problem here. Why don’t you blame Brian, who can’t quit tripping over his own feet! Or AJ, who can’t seem to remember where his positions on the stage are and where mine are! Why don’t you blame Nick, who hasn’t gone through one routine without stopping us and begging for a break! Why don’t you blame yourself? Do you know how stupid you look when you dance?” Howie was on the war path, “This is never gonna look good. And who’s gonna be on this tour but N’Sync. Don’t you realize what’s going to happen? We’re going to be compared, the people are going to want to say whose the best... And at the rate we’re going it sure ain’t gonna be Backstreet!” With that Howie stormed off the stage and out of the auditorium.

“Well,” Nick said from his sitting position on the stage, “That got rid of him, maybe we can get some real work done now.”

AJ agreed with Nick, “Well Nick, he was right about one thing. You’re gonna have to get in shape. You have to be able to get through a number without stopping us. Cause think Nick, on stage you’re gonna have to sing and dance.”

“I’m just gonna die,” Nick said simply with a shrug, “I’ve just accepted that fact. It’s cool.”

Everyone flinched at the word “die” especially from Nick’s lips.

“Sorry,” Nick said softly and looked down at the stage.

“Well guys,” Fatima had been standing back in the pit observing them, “Would you like to continue on without Howie?”

“Yeah,” Brian spoke up, he stood, pulling Nick up with him.

“Ok,” Fatima nodded, she walked to the radio, “Ok, I’ll count it down... 1..2..”

“Awww... even my eyebrows hurt,” Kevin was moaning as he and his three younger companions lay sprawled in his living room.

“Kev, half your face is your eyebrows...” Nick mumbled with a slight snicker before giving in to exhaustion again.

“Shut up Carter,” Kevin told him, “I can still put my foot up your ass.”

“I’ll tell Mom... KRISTEN!” Nick sat up halfway to mock yell.

Kevin looked horrified, “Shhh! You little beast!”

Brian chuckled, “Scared of the little wifey, Kevy?”

“Damn straight,” Kevin muttered, “and don’t even try to play like you’re not scared of yours...”

Brian smiled, “I’m not scared of Leigh... I just know when to shut up.”

“Whipped,” Nick said, adding the additional sound effect with his mouth of a cracking whip.

“Carter, you really want to get a foot up your...”

“KRIS...”

“Yes?” Kevin gasped as he realized that his wife was now standing somewhere in the room. He forced himself into a sitting position on the couch so he could view her. Kevin’s Kristen stood like a tall blond queen smirking in amusement at the four sweaty men stinking up her living room.

“Kristen, Kevin said that he was gonna....”

Kevin quickly mustered up all his energy so he could spring off the couch and onto Nick to try to keep his jaws closed. Nick let out a cry of surprise and a grunt of pain as Kevin launched himself on top of him.

“Kevin!” Kristen cried in dismay, she ripped her husband off of the younger blond and pulled Nick up, “Are you ok, honey?”

Nick was fine, but saw his obvious opportunity, he rubbed his arms and nodded sadly, not forgetting to make the big eyes and pouty lips. Kristen hugged him and turned an icy glare on Kevin, “Kevin Scott Richardson....”

Kevin’s mouth had dropped to the carpet as he looked past his wife at Nick who was smiling smugly sitting beside Kristen. Behind Nick sat Brian and AJ who were also sitting up, smiling and waving at him. Kevin could feel the growl building in his throat but kept it to himself as he knew it would only get him in more trouble with his wife who stood over him with a not too sunny expression on her face.

“Oh honey come on, Nick’s being a little devil. Look at him,” Kevin pointed behind his wife at Nick who was making hideous faces at him. Kristen whipped around to see a perfect little blond angel, then she turned back to Kevin who’s face was incredulous, “Honey LOOK!”

Finally Kristen burst out laughing, “Honestly Kevin you really think I trust this little monster?” Kristen pet Nick affectionately on the head, “Are you guys gonna be crowding the living room any longer? I asked some of the girls to come over, and not to insult you guys.. But uh, you stink. I need you out.”

“Huh?” Kevin couldn’t believe his ears... his wife was kicking him out of his own house, “but honey, I told the fellas we could...”

“Yes, and you can.. For another hour. Then you had better find yourselves another residence, and a shower.”

“Whipped,” Nick and AJ whispered and snickered. Kevin glared at them both, and they stopped laughing.

“Kevin?”

“Yes Kristen?” Kevin looked up to his smiling wife.

“You get that? Out in an hour?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Whapoosh...” Nick and AJ made the whipping noise by pursing their lips together.

“So what are we gonna do about Howie?” Brian was asking the others as they sat watching the end of the black and white movie Kevin had wanted them all to see.

“Can we discuss Howie after the movie?” Kevin asked sounding rather testy, he leaned in to hear the lead cowboy’s drawled words to his enemy.

“Kev,” Brian broke his cousin’s trance, “You’ve seen this movie before!”

“I know but it’s a classic, you should pay attention,” Kevin snapped, taking his cousin’s head and turning it towards the screen of black and white characters, “They’re about to hang...”

“Kev,” Brian butted in, “Look at Nick and AJ.”

Kevin blinked and tore his gaze away from the screen to the two youngest members of the group. Both sprawled over different ends of the couch fast asleep.

“Oh! They’re missing a classic!” Kevin groaned, “Young people today...”

“Kev!”

“I don’t know Brian,” Kevin said with a sigh, “I don’t know. We’ve talked to him, we’ve tried to hang out with him... and we can’t kick him out of the group, so I don’t know what to do with him! Now can I get back to my movie?”

Brian’s eyes were huge with disbelief, he sighed deeply, “Kev, the situation’s not gonna work out too well. You know that. There’s gonna be arguments and...”

“Bri, we’ll deal with it when it comes. Who knows, a tour may just be the medicine that Howie needs right now. Maybe being around us, and feeling he can depend on us again will make it better. Brian that’s the only thing we got left.”

“I hope you’re right,” Brian said frowning slightly, “I’m not looking forward to this you know?”

“Being on tour with Howie?” Kevin questioned.

“Not just that Kev, being on tour period, especially with N’Sync. Howie had one thing right, we will get compared.”

“And what do we care? We’re not out there to win a contest over N’Sync,” Kevin shrugged and turned his attention away from the TV to his cousin.

“I know we’re not... but that still doesn’t make me feel confident. Kev, N’Sync is good... and I don’t want to go out there and stink up the stage after them...”

“We won’t stink up the stage...”

“Kev, that practice today was pretty depressing, and we don’t have much time left,” Brian said with a sigh.

“We’ll get in better shape Bri. I mean we haven’t done this stuff in months, I think we did a pretty good job if I do say so myself,” Kevin said, “We’ll over come this, we may have to work a little harder than we ever have before, but we’ll get it.”

“I hope so Kev, I hope so...”

The cousins were silent, “I’m worried about the tour too Brian...” Kevin added softly after the long pause. He used the remote to turn off the television. He glanced over at Nick and AJ’s sleeping forms, then over at his cousin who was staring at him, waiting for him to continue.

“What are you worried about Kev?”

“I’m worried that we won’t even be able to get on the bus,” Kevin said slowly, “None of us has ridden a bus since... since the kidnaping. I’m scared that I won’t have the guts to get on, or Nick will freak out, or AJ will start smoking again.” Kevin let his list of worries dwindle and taper off as he waited for his cousin’s calming words of wisdom, after all Kevin had offered him some for his worries... Those words of wisdom never came though, for Brian had none. He was scared to death of the idea of getting on a tour bus again. Visions of masked men with guns invaded his thoughts every time he tried to picture himself climbing onto another tour bus. Gunfire vibrated through his skull, the bodies of the bus driver and the manager were carelessly thrown into some bushes beside the bus. He shook his head and stared into Kevin’s deep green eyes. His only hope had been Kevin’s stubborness, Kevin’s bravery. Kevin would march them all onto the bus one by one and he would be the one to give Brian the strength to go on with the ride.... but if Kevin was just as scared as he was... then he was lost.

“What the hell are we gonna do Kev?” Brian asked sadly, “What’s gonna happen?”

“I don’t know,” Kevin said letting out a suspiration, “ Lets just pray that it’ll be good, because it’s too late to back out now.”

Brian nodded. It was too late.

Chapter 5

They sat at the table cluttered with breakfast food staring at their empty plates. No one had an appetite that morning, for it was the morning they would be leaving home and catching a plane to New Jersey. There they would be meeting up with the tour and getting their hotel reservations, and that very next night, they were to board the tour bus.

“Oh come on guys eat something,” Rhonda Sherman, their new road manager approached the table. The Boys had met to eat a home cooked breakfast at her home in Miami, “You act like you’re leaving to go to a funeral,” the words came out of her mouth before she could stop them She meant it as a joke, to try to lighten them up.

Five heads jerked in her direction, “I’m gonna be sick,” Nick announced, jumping up from the table, he ran out of the kitchen only to return a second later, “Bathroom?”

“Third door on the left,” Rhonda said gently looking rather concerned. She turned to the remaining four, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. I was just pointing out that you guys are too nervous. You’re performers, you should be excited. You’ve been gone for months and now, boom, you’re back with a great album, and an incredible show to put on! Cheer up! This is gonna be fun!” Rhonda’s smile was infectious. She was a modest woman in her mid thirties with wild red hair. She was enthusiastic about her job and always took personal interest in her clients. Kevin knew they had chosen her for a purpose. It was as if their management team had needed someone like this over them so hopefully they could tap into her energy and confidence and pull through the tour.

Nick returned after a few minutes looking pale and running his hands through his hair, “Pretty shower curtain,” he complimented her before taking his place at the table.

“Are you ok?” Brian asked him.

Nick nodded, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just... jittery I guess. So, when do we leave?” Nick seemed anxious, his left knee bouncing up and down at a steadily increasing pace.

Rhonda chuckled at him, “When you boys eat your breakfast, I hate seeing young people skip meals, especially breakfast. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.”

Brian gave her a watery smile and sighed. He reached for a blueberry muffin, as did AJ. After the first bite, Brian snickered as he heard AJ mumbling to him, “I could make better blueberry muffins.”

“You’re laughing, good,” Rhonda wrung her hands together, “Anyone want fresh juice? Nick? Would you like some?”

Nick’s head turned from watching Kevin pouring syrup on his pancakes to Rhonda, “Huh?”

“You look a little anemic, dear, you want some juice?” Rhonda was to his chair pouring grape juice into the empty glass in front of Nick before he could answer, “You should get some of those eggs too, for iron.”

“I hate grape juice,” Nick grumbled as Rhonda ruffled his hair and moved on to fill up the others’ empty glasses. Nick leaned down to whisper across the table to Brian, “She’s like my Mom man.”

Brian grinned, “Mamma’s boy...” Brian liked Rhonda, she was nice, and funny, and she did seem like the mother type. She had no children of her own, and no husband, so Brian guessed that she took on her clients as her children. Brian tried to remember what Max had been like.. Max had been their road manager on the Millennium Tour, he had... Brian swallowed hard and set down the uneaten portion of his blueberry muffin. He had lost what little appetite he had forced himself to have.

“How are the muffins?” Rhonda asked Brian and AJ. AJ dutifully finished off his muffin and gave her a nod, “Very good..” I could make better, he thought to himself.

“How about those pancakes?” she shot her question to Kevin. Kevin was helping himself to seconds, he smiled at her, “They’re great. AJ couldn’t make better.”

He won himself a killer glare from AJ, and he laughed.

Rhonda laughed, “Oh yes, I had forgotten you liked to cook AJ. Maybe next time we’ll do breakfast at your place then. You can cook for me, and maybe teach me a thing or two.”

Yeah like how to make a GOOD muffin.. AJ thought, but said, “Ok, sure.”

“Howie... How’s your breakfast?”

Howie scowled at Rhonda, the woman was much too chirpy at this hour in the morning. He had eaten a few of the diced fruits she had put on the table and downed three cups of coffee already.

“Good,” he said curtly, wishing he had a newspaper to read, something to put over his face and shield himself away from the others... Eight whole weeks with no other company than each other...and N’Sync. He felt sick himself, and if Nick hadn’t of made such a big scene earlier he would have been the one in the bathroom being sick.

“Nickolas, you haven’t touched that grape juice, and eat more of those eggs,” Rhonda instructed.

Nick groaned and pouted, but Rhonda kept looking at him. “Grape juice makes me yak.”

“Nick, no it doesn’t,” Kevin said rolling his eyes, “Now do as the woman says, and drink it.”

If Nick were at home he would have dropped his head to the table and kept it there until his enemy surrendered, but he wasn’t at home... and the Rhondzilla wasn’t about to surrender anytime soon, especially with Kevisaurus Rex behind her. Nick wrinkled his noise and reluctantly lifted the glass and took a small sip. Blech, he could feel his powers draining... he felt himself growing older, and older, until he was....was...Kevin.

“Oh Nick would you grow up!”Kevin snapped rolling his eyes at Nick’s childish antics. He had sprawled back over the back of his chair with his eyes clamped shut and his tongue lolling to the side of his mouth.

“Must... have... sweets...” Nick moaned. Brian laughed, and grabbed a blueberry muffin out of the wooden basket in the center of the table. He leaned over and stuck the muffin under Nick’s nose, and Nick took a bite. His eyes popped open... his strength returning!

“Oh brother,” Kevin breathed watching the two in action... Eight weeks....

Rhonda grinned, “Well now that I have seen you all eat a little of something, I guess we can be going.”

It was time.

They would be riding to the airport and meeting up with N’Sync and Britney Spears. They weren’t too excited by that... it had been awhile, and they really didn’t feel that they knew how to act around a lot of people anymore.

“Here we go,” Brian said lightly to Nick giving him a slight push inside the limousine. Nick frowned, “I’m scared,” he said softly climbing inside the limo.

“Me too Frack,” Brian said patting Nick’s knee,” so you won’t be the only one.”

The ride to the airport was an uneventful one. No one spoke but Rhonda, she talked about how great the tour was going to be, and all the interesting people the Boys would meet. Howie cringed, he didn’t exactly think N’Sync was very interesting, nor Britney Spears... He had tried to talk to another one of those teeny-bopper girl singers, Christina Aguilera, but she turned away from him. He felt his eyes narrowing as he thought about the skinny bitch. The skinny bitch who couldn’t dress herself. He felt Nick’s knee bounce against his leg for the last time, “Damn it Carter sit still or I’m gonna...”

“Howie!” Rhonda was shocked, Howie had always seemed so quiet. This outburst was rather uncharacteristic of him, to her anyway.

Nick flinched away from him and moved closer to Brian, “Why do I always end up sitting next to Sour D,” he muttered loud enough to be heard by everyone in the backseat of the limo.

“If you don’t stop calling me that...”

“Then stop acting like a...”

“Nick, Howie, that’s enough!” Kevin jumped in, “Just let it go. Here Nick, sit here, I’ll switch with you and sit by Howie.”

“What a nice gesture Kev, pity you never do that when we first into the car. Face it Howie, you’re a Sour D and nobody wants to...”

“Nickolas!” Brian clamped his hand over Nick’s mouth. He fought back the urge to snicker at Nick’s blunt honesty. Nick pouted and switched seats with Kevin.

“I can’t believe you called Howie ‘Sour D’ to his face, man,” AJ uttered to Nick once he had taken Kevin’s seat.

“Well he is, and he hurt my knee,” Nick crossed his arms and sat in sullen silence for the remainder of the trip.

The bodies of maybe a hundred teenagers crowded the airport. A security barricade had been set up around the premise to allow the stars trying to travel through the airport and board the plane, passage. “Man look at all these people here to see me!” AJ proclaimed, laughing loudly, yet glancing nervously over his shoulders at his brothers through the ring of body guards surrounding them. They were still there, no one had snatched one of them, he thought in relief, but the second he glanced away, he would have to check all over again. His shaded eyes scanned the area searching for any potential kidnappers. Men with red hair forever catching his eye, women with auburn hair popping up left and right. He shut his eyes trying to chase away those faces... the faces of those he wanted to forget. He didn’t want to see Brendon, or Ariella... he didn’t want to see the bloody bodies in a pile in the corner. He felt his hands twitching... dough, he wanted to be kneading dough. He wanted to bake bread, cookies, anything to keep his hands busy, and mind off of...other things. The process of preparing a meal, and making it into something a person could actually ingest and compliment was a hard process that took total concentration on AJ’s part, and much creativity. He switched his terrible thoughts into eager ones about the new cook book he had stashed away in one of his suitcases. He couldn’t wait to experiment with the French cuisines.

AJ was safely inside the airport, he stood wringing his hands together and waiting for the others to get through. Nick and Kevin were hustled in together, Nick clinging onto Kevin for dear life and looking wild eyed behind him for the others. A bright red ring lined his neck where his gold necklace used to be, and long red scratches lined his arms. The kid looked rough. Kevin kept his arm around him, trying to move him towards AJ who stood gaping at the two, “Nicky, what happened?”

“He almost got pulled in,” John, one of the bodyguards answered, “This girl had him by the tail of his shirt and just reeled him in like a fish, and then two more went in for the taking! I tell ya Carter, if you’d just put on a few more pounds they wouldn’t have been able to overpower you like that!”

Nick didn’t say anything back to John, he simply looked behind him, trying to find glimpses of Brian and Howie. There was some shouting and then Howie and Brian were through the door looking breathless and shaken. They hung onto each other trying to shake the daze from their minds. “Nick!” Brian broke his trance and grabbed his friend by the arms to look him over, “Man they got you good, Frack!” He laughed.

“At least my clothes are still intact,” Nick said lightly, speaking for the first time since he entered the airport.

Brian was really gonna miss that jacket, but his bodyguard said it was either him or the jacket, “They got my shoelace too.”

“Poor Frick,” Nick sympathized with him, then looked over Howie’s sloppy but perfectly intact attire, “Looks like they didn’t want anything off Sour D.”

Howie saw red. He charged Nick only to run into Kevin, “Let him alone. Nick!”

“Yeah Howie leave me alone... what?” Nick was peeking at Howie from behind Kevin’s back. “Apologize to Howie.”

“What for?” Nick was disgruntled, apologize!

“For calling him names now apologize or else!”

Nick was tempted to ask, “Or else what?” but he decided against it, “I’m sorry for calling you a Sour D, Howie... But you are!”

“Nick!” Kevin started in frustration but gave up. That was the best he was ever going to get out of him and he knew it. Howie rolled his eyes, “Keep your distance Carter!”

“I will... It’s not my fault I always end up sitting by you!” Nick said, “As I said before nobody wants to sit by a...” he stopped as he caught the glares being shot at him from every angle of the room. He pouted, but was quiet for the next few minutes.

“Ok guys, now that we’re all here,” Rhonda said sounding a bit frazzled, so far this wasn’t going too well, “lets get to our gate and meet some of your tour-mates!”

AJ caught himself before he rolled his eyes, the woman was just too.. Peppy. He followed after the group with his bodyguard walking beside him. And now it begins... AJ thought as he noticed the approaching silhouette of bodies getting closer and closer. He felt his apprehension, it had been so long since he had to make an appearance and do public relations... Did he still remember how? Walking up to meet Britney Spears’s smiling face with a smile of his own he could recall praying that he sure hoped he did!

Chapter 6

The initial meeting in the airport was not exactly how Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, JC Chasez, Chris Kirkpatrick, Lance Bass, and Joey Fatone had envisioned it. They didn’t know what exactly they were expecting, but what they received was not in their imaginations. The Backstreet Boys, Brian Littrell, AJ McLean, Nick Carter, Kevin Richardson, and Howie Dorough, had arrived last, almost 15 minutes after everyone else had gotten there. Their manners were impeccable, their timing for smiles and their responses were perfect, and if there was any anxiety over the upcoming tour they hid it well.

Johnny Wright, N’Sync and Britney Spears’ manager sat across from Joey Fatone and Chris Kirkpatrick on the plane contemplating just that. In all his years of knowing those Boys, they had never behaved in that perfect way. He had always dreamed of them being that way in public when he was their manager, instead of acting out as the hyper sometimes impulsive bunch that were. He sighed, he knew something was wrong... and he feared to think about what it was.

Someone tapped him on the shoulder, and he turned to face Lance Bass, “Are they normally that quiet?” he motioned back to the Kevin, Brian, AJ, Nick, and Howie. The five Backstreet Boys sat together near the rear of the plane with their manager Rhonda.

Johnny glanced back to them and shook his head, “No, never... not even when they were sleeping.”

Lance looked a little apprehensive hearing that. He nodded and leaned back in his chair in deep thought.

Johnny knew what Lance was feeling, it was probably the same thing he was feeling. He felt nervous. He didn’t know how he should act around them, what all he could say. He had hoped they hadn’t changed... Seeing their faces on TV during that news report about the food fight they had started gave him that false hope. He hoped to see their smiling faces and hear their silly conversations, to shake their hands, hug them, and ask how they have been..but instead he saw his false hope shattered. Those were not his Boys. Sure they were polite enough, they smiled just enough... but it wasn’t enough. There was something missing there... the innocence, the confidence, the spark, the trust.... When Johnny took their hands he noticed the lack of conviction. The haunted look in their eyes had followed Johnny to his seat on the airplane. Was it guilt that fueled his anxiety? Did he feel he should have been there with them last year? Maybe he did, but really what could he have done? Nothing... he would have, he shuddered, been killed. He rubbed his temples, he wondered if the Boys saw the man get killed... Would they have watched him get killed?

He remembered when the report had come out last year. Johnny and his ex-wife had been adamant about keeping up with the story. They had sat in front of the TV together the night the Boys had been brought out. Johnny could still feel the way his body trembled as the gunshots echoed from the television screen... footage of the run down complex and Nick’s limp body being carried to an ambulance flashed through his mind. Their disappearance from the public eye for so long was also disturbing.

“Johnny?” a soft female hand was on his arm, he removed his hand from his eyes and looked at Britney, “Are you ok?”

Johnny nodded and smiled at her, “Yeah, yeah I’m fine.”

“Are you thinking about...?” she nodded towards the back of the plane.

Johnny almost laughed, was it that obvious? “Yes, I am Britney.” He sighed deeply and turned to glance at the Boys again. Their section of the plane was quiet. “I think...I think I’m going to go back and talk with them for awhile.”

Britney’s eyes widened, “You’re not nervous?”

Johnny looked at her, “Yeah, of course, I’m nervous. I don’t know what to say to them, but I know something needs to be said. They can’t... they need to be comfortable, and they won’t be unless we make them. I doubt they’re that way when it’s just them.”

“So you think it’s just butterflies?” Britney brightened, she had been a little worried about her dreary tour-mates. What they had gone through could change a person, alter their personality... Before they were pleasant people that she found quite charming, but now their charming mannerisms seemed forced, their pleasantries were only out of politeness. What and who had they turned into now? Were they still the same, just a little nervous... are they emotional wrecks... or were they cold, hard...? The masks they wore kept the answers from her inquisitive mind.

Johnny gazed at her, “I hope so.” Johnny stood up slowly and gathered his thoughts, then he slowly made his way to the back of the plane.

“I’ve just taken out all of your fighter jets, now I am about to kidnap your princess,” Nick informed AJ dutifully. He pressed the buttons on his hand held video game in a complicated yet skilled manner, “Ok, now I have your princess, now I’m going to...”

AJ glared at Nick as he sat holding the second hand held video game connected by a cord to Nick’s, he pressed his buttons furiously trying to avoid Nick’s tactics, he abruptly dropped the hand held in his lap at the kidnaping of his princess and went for Nick’s throat. It was in that instant that he looked up to discover Johnny Wright standing in the aisle of seats in front of them, peering in their direction, “Hey AJ, Nick.”

AJ blinked, what was he doing back here? Hadn’t they already said their “hellos?” AJ felt his palms beginning to sweat again, and his mouth beginning to dry out. It had just been too long since he had had to interact with so many people at once. What if he said something stupid? God, stop it! AJ scolded himself. You are AJ McLean, you were bred to be on stage and to interact with people. Get a grip!

AJ blinked, almost reaching up to wipe the imaginary sweat he felt on his brow. Get a grip.. If only it were that easy. His doctor had warned him, had tried to expose him to public relations again before the tour... But that worked out about as well as Nick trying to read a book with no pictures! “Hi Johnny!” Nick chirped. Happy as a lark now, before he had been as dark and nervous as everyone else. AJ figured it was the half of a snickers bar Brian slipped him. He scowled at Brian who sat in the aisle across from them with Kevin knocked out asleep against the window. Of course he’d give Nick the candy and then sit somewhere else, leaving AJ to be tortured.

“Hey Johnny,” AJ said, sounding polite, but no where near as enthusiastic as Nick.

“Can I sit?” Johnny looked a little disquieted... But not as disquieted as I feel, AJ slumped down in his chair.

“I don’t know, can ya?” Nick quipped grinning at his own stupid joke.

Brian, I’m gonna kill you... AJ thought venomously.

Johnny looked puzzled, he gazed at Nick and smiled back nervously. People who weren’t used to Nick always seemed a little uneasy around him, not just fans. AJ didn’t blame them, he shot a look at Nick. Nick didn’t look intimidating or scary, but his eyes told his story. They were the eyes of someone who had seen and knew too much, but yet try to deny it from themselves. His eyes were cloudy sometimes, spacy... Like he was forever dreaming... some of it was from the medication, the others of it were defense mechanisms, more psycho babble from his therapist.

Nick had often been criticized for his traumatization from the... experience. He wasn’t in there as long as AJ, Kevin, Howie, and Brian. He was let out almost a week before the others saw the light of day again. But they forget that no matter how long you were in a life threatening situation... it was still life-threatening, and blood was still blood, no matter how long it was in your face... And all the times the gun was to your head... each time you could have died. It didn’t matter if he had been in there 3 weeks or 3 hours, one would still be changed... And then the criticizers also forget that sometimes even being outside can be traumatic... AJ couldn’t imagine being on the outside, not knowing what was going on within, and suddenly hearing rapid gunshots... You knew your friends were inside, you knew who held them hostage... You knew that one or all of them could very well have been dead. AJ fought back a cringe as he thought about his mother standing outside... no father to support her, crying, listening to every gunshot and praying that it wasn’t AJ that was hit.

He felt his panic beginning to rise as the memories began to surface.. Alright, calm down, AJ, calm down. He felt his hands beginning to twitch, he needed to do something with them. His eyes went to his carry-on bag on the floor beside his foot. His eyes could almost trace the outline of the new cookbook hidden under the nylon exterior. Baking... cooking... something. He wanted to bite his nails, but that would show weakness, and Johnny was there, staring as if they were some alien creatures.

He’s afraid of us... AJ realized. That’s why he looks so nervous. AJ groaned inwardly, he needed a cigarette. He eyed Nick beside him, who was smiling and talking to Johnny animatedly. No he couldn’t smoke, not with Nick next to him. “AJ? Are you alright?”

AJ glanced up at Johnny who was frowning at him, he frowned at Nick too, still looking at him oddly, “He’s on medication,” AJ offered to Johnny gesturing to Nick, who simply smiled sheepishly. He was fully aware that he acted loopy sometimes, well all the time.

Johnny actually let out a little laugh, “Thanks for telling me. What’s his excuse for when I used to be the manager. He wasn’t on anything then.”

“I was high on life,” Nick said with a satisfied smirk, he picked back up the video game he and AJ had abandoned and restarted.

AJ was trying to break Kevin’s attention away from his western novel. He didn’t want to have to carry on a conversation by himself. Kevin’s eyes slowly rose from the small printed words to meet AJ’s, then they darted to Johnny, “How long have you been there?”

“Maybe 10 minutes,” Johnny said. Kevin, the leader, the one in control... he felt more comfortable then. He decided he would sit. He walked down the aisle and took the empty seat next to Howie, who was reading a newspaper... correction Wall Street Journal. Howie, Howie the peacemaker, the quiet one. Howie didn’t so much as raise his eyes from his paper. “How’s the married life treating you Kev?”

Kevin blinked, “Me and Kris are getting along just fine. It’s good. People have been trying to scare us about our first fight coming up within the month, but I’m not worried about it.”

“Yeah, as long as you yield to what she says,” Nick muttered, “Mom’s tough.”

“Mom?” Johnny questioned.

“That’s what he calls Kristen,” Kevin said with a small affectionate smile.

“Yeah, and he’s gotta be nice to me or Mom will hurt him,” Nick said concentrating on the game. AJ glanced at him before cursing softly, “You cheater! You can’t just restart the game without telling me!”

“Well you were losing and are gonna lose anyways,” Nick said with a wicked smirk shooting a wink at AJ. AJ could feel his blood bubbling, competition always got to him, no matter what it was in. He knocked the game from Nick’s palms, “Wait for me to be ready.”

“AJ, if it’s keeping him quiet...” Howie actually raised his head from his paper.

“Ah, Sour D doth speak,” Nick commented dryly from his seat, he proceeded in leaning across the aisle his upper body lying over Kevin’s lap. Before Kevin could react, Nick was tickling a sleeping Brian awake.

“Nick, stop it!” Kevin yelled before he could help himself, causing the entire plane to turn and look back at them, N’Sync, Britney, and their manager who was fighting back a smile.

Both Kevin and Nick blushed, and cringed in embarrassment. Kevin went back to his book using it as a shield, and Nick slumped back in his seat.

“You sit in that seat and be still. Play your game,” Howie was giving Nick instructions, as he reached over the seat and clenched onto one of Nick’s shoulders, in a low yet sharp voice.

Nick had the beginnings of a pout on his face as he obeyed Howie, and picked up his video game, this time alerting AJ that he was ready to play.

Brian had stirred and woken at Kevin’s shout. He stared at his cousin in a sleep filled haze, then at his best friend who looked like a guilty puppy who had just made a puddle on the floor. He spied Johnny Wright seated beside Howie, he yawned, “Hi Johnny.”

“Hi Brian, how are you?”

“I was having the best nap,” Brian rubbed his eyes and let his head droop back onto the window, and within seconds he was out again.

“I don’t think he slept at all last night,” Kevin explained, “We were all so nervous about today. I almost broke and told the guys to turn the limo around when I saw the airport turn coming up.”

“You really didn’t want to come on this tour did you?” Johnny asked.

“Hell no we didn’t,” Kevin said truthfully, “But, well.. Our management assured us that if we still wanted to pursue our careers we needed to get back on stage. And they thought this would be better than sending us off alone.” He looked down sadly at his novel, “But now I’m not so sure.”

“Why not? Those guys up there are nothing to worry about,” Johnny said, “They’re all good kids...”

Kevin nodded, “They are...” He trailed off and began to fold the pages in his book, “It’s just been us 5 for so long that we’re not used to other people anymore. We kinda shut ourselves off in our attempt to stay inside the safe little world’s we’ve created for ourselves.” Kevin grinned at Johnny’s expression, “I’m starting to sound like my shrink.” He looked uncomfortable, “This is my first Tuesday not going to his office. In fact in 2 hours I would be getting into my car and I would be driving down all the main roads where there are sure to be plenty of people, and arriving at the glass building. I guess right now I’m talking to you as a substitute and I’m sorry, again. I’m embarrassing myself. I’ll read now.” Kevin went back to his novel in his vain attempt to maintain his blemished dignity.

“You didn’t embarrass yourself Kev. I actually feel honored that you feel that you can still confide in me.”

“Confide somewhere else, Brian’s trying to sleep,” Brian muttered from his seat, head still resting against the window.

“Well it didn’t seem to bother your sleep before Brian,” Kevin said.

“That was before you let Nick crawl in your lap and attack me,” Brian grumbled.

“Boys...” Johnny tried to interject, sensing the argument brewing.

“It’s not my fault. It was your smart idea to give Nick candy before a long plane ride,” Kevin was saying matter-of-factly, “The least you could have done is sat with him so he wouldn’t have to climb over me to bother you.”

Brian rumbled, “Do you want to get up now and switch seats Kevin?” He sat up and turned to face his cousin, his sleep-lacking expression not too friendly.

Kevin simply glared at him, then out of spite he smirked and reached across the aisle to tap Nick on the shoulder. Nick’s head jerked up out of his game and to Kevin, “Wanna come sit with Brian?”

Brian’s eyes widened, “Kevin!” now he was whining, “No!”

“Come on Nicky,” Kevin was closing his book and standing.

“Kevin! Nick, don’t you wanna play with AJ?!” Brian was struggling to grab a hold of his cousin’s arm, “Kevin!”

Johnny watched the exchanges for a few minutes more, before traveling back to his respective seat near the front of the plane. The dull roar of voices from the back of the plane, now equaled the ones of the front. This...was better. He sat back with a satisfied smile of relief as he closed his eyes and fell asleep to the many voices of chaos swirling around him.

“Seafood...” Britney was determined, if they were going to eat out it would be seafood. She wanted crab.

“Pizza,” Joey folded his arms.

“Do you know how many times we’re going to have to eat pizza on the road?” Britney argued.

“Yeah.. So we might as well get used to it now,” Joey grinned.

“Ugh! Ok, ok, what do you want to eat Justin?” Britney poked her sleep groggy boyfriend.

“Huh? Eat?... Chicken?” Justin scratched his curly head, he hadn’t heard the majority of the argument.

“Chicken!” Joey exclaimed.

“They serve chicken at seafood restaurants too!” Britney crossed her arms and smirked at Joey. Joey wore a smirk of his own, “Chicken pizza.”

“Good Lord...” Britney whirled around and blond hair caught her eyes, out of the blue she asked, “Nick, what do you want?”

“Skittles,” Nick answered back seriously.

“Arrrrg!” Britney roared, “When are we meeting up with the other FEMALES that are going to be on tour?”

“Skittles does sound tempting,” Chris put in just to annoy Britney further.

Johnny and Rhonda eventually intervened to stop the bloodshed. Everyone was asked what they might want to eat, and after everyone’s order had been penciled down the vote favored, “Seafood...” Britney smirked and winked at Joey wickedly, as the 11 stars, 2 managers, and an assortment of body guards entered a quaint seafood restaurant that Rhonda had called in advance to let them know to be expecting high status customers.

“This place doesn’t look like it has skittles,” Nick was grumbling.

“Well Nick, you can always ask,” Brian said as he and Nick walked around the table following AJ and took seats next to each other. They sat directly across from Kevin and Howie. AJ sat on the same side as them next to Lance and Chris. Rhonda and Johnny sat at the head of the table. A few body guards stood around the table, and the rest sat at tables around theirs.

“Ok, so lets talk tour guys,” JC said suddenly, “How do you think it’s gonna go? I mean this is the first tour we’ve all really been on where a lot of big names have been in on it together.” He glanced shyly at the Backstreet Boys, he hoped that one of them would answer. That would maybe give him a clue about how they felt about the tour, and how well they were going to behave.

Justin raised an eyebrow at JC’s question, he knew who it was directed to, but he decided to answer, “I think it’ll be cool. We haven’t hung out with some of the people in a while... and I’ve never met Samantha Mumba.”

“How many people do you think will turn up?” AJ perked up. Every head gave AJ its attention and tried to answer his question. That’s how it was when anyone besides Nick or Brian said something aloud. Not that Nick and Brian ever said anything of importance aloud, they were just silly, and their behavior is what relaxed the members of N’Sync and Britney towards them.

“A lot man, the shows are sold out! We’re gonna be playing stadiums. There will not be an empty seat,” Chris answered him. He didn’t know what kind of reaction he wanted to get with his answer, but he hadn’t wanted that. AJ actually cringed and downcast his eyes, and the Backstreet end of the table fell silent..

“Um...” Britney was beginning.

“Bread?” A quartet of waiters, three females, one male came to the table holding baskets of freshly baked bread. Britney did not fail to note the way the waitresses’ eyes tended to linger over her male companions for the evening, and the waiter seemed to hoover around her center of gravity. He was like an annoying fly that she wanted to swat. Was he smelling her hair? She shot a glare at Joey who sat across from her giggling at what was happening above Britney’s head.

“You guys are really nervous aren’t you?” Justin asked, shooting his question at Backstreet as he took a hearty bite out of his bread, “I’m sure you guys will do just fine. You’ve been performing a long time, once you get back out there it’ll just feel natural to you again.”

“You don’t know how much easier saying is than doing,” Brian said cutting himself two slices of bread, he set one on Nick’s empty plate. Nick sat quietly folding his napkin and only looked up when he noticed the bread float onto his plate, “Hey, I don’t want this!” He casually picked up the bread and tossed it at Brian’s unsuspecting face. Brian let out a little gasp then raised the knife he had just loaded with butter, “They’ll call you Mellow Yellow..” he sang to Nick as he prepared for his shot.

“You guys stop it! Remember Antoine’s?”

Brian lowered his knife with a sigh. He picked the bread out of his lap and laid it on the tablecloth. Nick stuck his tongue out at him subtly.

“So what songs are you guys going to perform?” Britney asked, “A mix of new and old, or all new?”

“All new,” Kevin said with a grim smile, “We’ve been working our butts off these past few months. I hope it all goes well, or I’ll be really disappointed.”

“I’ve got butterflies!” Nick announced, “I’m kinda excited, kinda petrified. I mean, it’s been forever, who’s to know how the audience will take to us..”

“Or how we’ll take to them,” AJ added quickly.

“Lets just sum this up, we’re scared as hell,” Brian said simply. AJ rolled his eyes at him and removed an ice cube from his soda to toss at him, “AJ! Antoine’s!” Kevin reminded him. AJ blinked and stuck his ice cube in his mouth.

“The crowd at the airport was enough to freak me out,” Nick said rubbing his neck absently where his necklace should have been.

“Howie, think fast!” Brian had removed the cherry from his sprite and was preparing to make a basket in Howie’s tea glass.

“Brian!”

“Brian, Antoine’s!” Kevin snapped looked exasperated.

“Oh sorry.. This sucks,” Brian looked bored, “Did we order an appetizer yet? Get your hands out of my drink Nick!”

Nick was robbing Brian’s sprite of another cherry. He popped it in his mouth innocently and smiled, “Wanna see if I can tie the stem with my tongue?”

“Oh God,” Howie uttered hiding behind his menu.

“No, I wanna see you eat your own cherries!” Brian snapped, “Now I only have one!”

“Here, have another,” Nick flipped a cherry out of his drink onto Brian’s shirt, Brian yelped and hurled his last cherry back at him.

“Guys stop it! Antoine’s!” Kevin was to the verge of pulling out his hair. Brian stopped immediately and stared at his cousin, as did Nick, “Kev... It’s been bugging me all night,” Nick began.

“What Nickolas?”

“Who the hell is Antoine? And what the hell does he have do with anything we’re doing? How do we know this guy?”

Kevin’s eyes enlarged incredulously.. They were never going to make it through the tour, he was going to kill Nick and Brian, he knew it. He ripped off a piece of bread and was about to throw it at them when, “Kevin?”

“What?” he stopped to stare at the duo, Frick and Frack.. They should be called Riff and Raff!

“Antoine’s!” they both announced breaking out into giggles. AJ watched the exchange with a wide grin, Howie watched with indifference, N’Sync and Britney watched with amusement, the managers watched in horror. Rhonda knew as did Johnny just what was going to happen next, “Boys, no!” All at once Kevin sprung from his seat and Nick and Brian bolted from the table followed closely by Kevin and three bodyguards. They darted out the doors of the restaurant ignoring all shouts in their direction.

“And they’re off!” AJ was announcing the events like a horse race, “Brian takes lead, but Nick is quick to catch up.. Kevin’s pulling in at the rear. Looks like he’s closing in for a kill...”

“Oh my....” Rhonda twirled her red hair around her fingers.

“Whoohoo!” Chris was cheering, “My money’s on Kev. I think he’ll catch em’ both!”

“Nah, Brian’s pretty quick...” Joey was contesting.

“Yeah, but he’s not gonna leave Nick behind,” Britney was saying, “Blondie’s slowing him down.. I think Kevin will catch them.”

“And so it begins...” Johnny said he smiled at Rhonda and gave her arm a squeeze, “I take it this is your first time managing a group of young guys?”

Rhonda nodded, “Yes, I usually manage girl groups... Now I know why my sister didn’t want to have boys.”

“You’ll get the hang of it,” Johnny smiled at her, “It gets... well the things they do have less of an effect on you after a while, I’ll put it that way.”

“Great,” Rhonda said shaking head, watching as the three body guards were reentering the building with Kevin, Brian, and Nick between them, “Oh well... Cest La Vi.” She smiled helplessly as the rest of her energetic group was returned to the table wearing grins. She was certainly going to have an interesting time on this tour.

Chapter 7

“Damn it...” AJ said for the 79^th time as he wrung his hands together mercilessly. His nervous eyes scanning the elegant hotel lobby falling on all the various people surrounding them. Other groups and singers, bodyguards, hotel security, hired police, managers, and anyone else one could think of occupied the area.

In less than 4 hours he would be on a stage... a stage surrounded by thousands of people. And those thousands of people would have their eyes on him. “Damn it...”

“AJ sit,” Rhonda had grabbed him by the shoulders. She pushed him towards the 5 seats, 4 already occupied by his four brothers. They all looked as nervous as he felt. He felt, he felt like he was going to burst. His nerves felt ready to shatter, his bones threatening to disintegrate. And the noise, the buzzing of many voices, so many unfamiliar voices was driving him insane. All at once his mind came to the conclusion of, “I can’t do this. I can’t! I’ve changed my mind!” He tried to break Rhonda’s hold on him, he was going back upstairs to the lavish hotel room he shared with Kevin. None of the Boys had wanted room alone, but Howie. Howie seemed as if he didn’t need them to be around him, but AJ knew he did. He had seen the look in his eyes when Nick and Brian had disappeared for all of 5 minutes and no one knew where they had gone. He had panicked along with AJ and Kevin. They had gone to the bathroom, a sudden trip on the account of Nick’s nervous stomach. Their two bodyguards had accompanied them, so there was really no need for AJ, Howie, and Kevin to worry. But they had.

“AJ, honey, you need to calm down,” Rhonda was reestablishing her grip on AJ’s wiry shoulders, “These are your fans coming to see you baby. They have come to see you, and only you. Can you imagine how disappointed they would be if they found out you were too afraid to go out and see them. Afraid of them? AJ, they won’t hurt you. They’re here to support you, and Nick, and Brian, and Kevin, and Howie. They want to see you.”

AJ gazed up into Rhonda’s endearing green eyes, and then back to his brothers who sat looking pale and shaky. His eyes roamed over the crowded hotel lobby once more til they reached the glass doors, their clear panes showing him the utter chaos of fans outside. They were all screaming, yelling, dying to break the glass and get to him, to tear him apart. They would hurt him just to get close to him and not even realize that they were doing it. He shuddered deeply and stifled a whimper, “I wanna go home.”

“The stage is your home, Alex. It has been for a long time. You love it, you want this you know you do. Just give it a chance. Once you get out there again, and feel the magic, the power you have and give out to others while you’re on that stage... You’ll know just how bad you missed it all, and you’ll never want to leave it again. And you’ll never fear it again. It’s natural for you to have stage fright, dear, but don’t let it control you. To thine own self be true, Alexander, you stand tall and proud, and get ready to board the van so you can get to your concert venue, YOURS! Yours, and Brian’s, and Nick’s, and Howie’s, and Kevin’s. Tonight is your night, tonight is the night you take back over the reigns of your careers. You left the performing world as Kings and you will return as Kings too,” Rhonda shook his shoulders and tilted her head to eye the others, “You all hear that?”

Four heads nodded boyishly at her, “You know what it means?”

Four pairs of eyes stared at her.

“Get your butts in gear and get ready, cause it’s gonna be one hell of a show! Backstreet’s back, and tonight you’re gonna prove it. Now lets get together our people, and get to our van.”

Rhonda kept a firm grip on AJ, knowing that even after her well thought out and planned speech he may still try to run for cover, “Lets move!”

Loading the vans turned out to be not so bad. Security had done an excellent job keeping the star crazy fans at bay behind yellow tape and barricades. Screams and shouts deafened the ears of the performers as they ran to their vans ducking their heads, tossing some smiles and waves in various general directions, not really spying anyone in particular.

“Good God,” Kevin was breathing as he crouched inside the van, pushing Howie in, in front of him.

“That wasn’t so bad,” Brian was saying, more to himself than anyone else. There were almost 20 times as many fans out there than there was at the airport. He had been frozen in place at the sheer numbers, and his bodyguard had had to practically carry him to the van for his legs wouldn’t move. His hands shook slightly, and he tried to steady them by gripping the seat in front of him. He succeeded in accidentally gripping a strand of Howie’s long hair and pulling. “OW! DAMN IT BRIAN THAT’S NOT FUNNY!”

Brian cringed back at the harshness and pure loudness of Howie’s scream. He felt his anger rising to the pitch of Howie’s voice, “Screw you Howie, I didn’t grab your stupid hair on purpose, and if you’d cut some of the stringy crap off you wouldn’t have to worry about it so much!”

Brian felt the shocked stares on him... Brian was never mean, his insults were never biting...

“Brian, you doth insult Sour D,” Nick snickered from his place beside Brian. He had been abnormally quiet since they had boarded the van, but the previous scene had softened his terror into simple uneasiness. An uneasiness simple enough for him to be able to appreciate a good Sour D bashing.

“Brian, you and your balding little head, have no right to make comments on my hair and your immaturity overwhelms me. Why if I didn’t know better I would think I was talking to Nick.”

“Shut up Howie!” Brian shot at him, “You’re getting on my damn nerves with your ba...”

“Boys that’s enough,” Rhonda interjected, looking to Kevin for help. Kevin nodded at her, meeting her eyes, “Yeah guys stop it. We should be focusing our energies on the show tonight, Lord knows we’re gonna need it.”

That was enough to shut Howie and Brian up, and to put Nick back into his silent state. AJ watched them all through his sunglasses, that he wore even in enclosed spaces. Could they do it? Would they still be as good as they once were in the eyes of their fans? Would they trip over each other? Would Nick remember all they had worked so hard with him on? Would he remember how to breath during the phrases and be able to perform the choreography? Would someone accidentally bump into Howie on stage and turn him into the ranting raving lunatic they had just seen? Can I still be the wild crazy one on stage that pumps up the audience with my screaming and yelling? Can I still put on a good show? Am I still a performer?

“This is it,” Rhonda said suddenly. AJ opened his eyes, which he hadn’t even realized he had had closed. Through his sunglasses, through the window, he saw the looming presence of the venue... a large white stadium. Masses of fans, some waving colorful posters screamed at the vans and struggled to break through security means. AJ saw performers and bodyguards alike running trying to defend themselves from the barrage of fans outside trying to get at them. “Ok, guys, time to get out.”

“Hell no!”

AJ thought that had come from him, but no. He spied Nick, who was folding his arms over his chest and looking out the windows in alarm, “They’ll tear us to pieces!”

“Nick, you got on the van just fine didn’t you?” Rhonda began.

“Yeah, but that was different. There weren’t as many people out there, and the security was tighter. They’ll get us I know they will!” he was starting to whine as he continued to gaze outside.

“Nicky...”

“No!”

Well if Nick wasn’t going... “I’m not going either,” AJ said firmly.

“Alex, didn’t we talk about this?” Rhonda was beginning to sound stressed.

“Yes, we talked about performing, not being ripped to shreds!” AJ countered, “I’m not going out there!”

Rhonda grimaced and looked to Brian and Kevin. Howie sat with his face turned away from everyone. He simply did not care if anyone got off the bus.

“Guys come on, we have good bodyguards, they won’t let any of us get hurt,” Kevin said softly touching AJ’s shoulder.

“They let those fans take my necklace,” Nick was muttering, “And they almost pulled me in.”

“Nick, that was the airport. Security wasn’t prepared for that kind of turn out.”

“Well what if they aren’t prepared for this either!” Nick wailed, “NO!”

“Nicky, they won’t let anyone get you, ok, and neither will I,” Brian was saying, he nodded to Kevin, like you take that one, I’ll take this one. He went on trying to console Nick softly.

“Jay,” Kevin started again, “I’ll walk with you, ok? Nothing will happen, you’ll see. See everyone else out there? Do they look like the mob is getting to them?”

AJ shook his head, who cared about everyone else...

“AJ please, we have to go,” Kevin was beginning to sound as desperate as Rhonda had when she had wanted Kevin and Brian to talk to them.

“You guys can go,” AJ stated, “I’ll stay here and guard the van.”

“AJ....” Kevin trailed off as he and Brian exchanged another look, they both looked rather conspiratorially at the youngest of the group.

“Ok, if you want to stay...”

“Huh?” he was agreeing to.. Hey! Hey! AJ was being seized from behind by two hefty bodyguards, and judging from the screams of protest he heard coming from the seat in front of him, Nick was being given the same treatment. AJ kicked and yelled as he was carried like a baby from the van by one bodyguard and shielded in front by the second. Once his body hit the open air AJ stilled and instead of fighting gripped his bodyguard for dear life. Please don’t let me go, don’t let them get me. Nick, on the other hand, had other plans. He was a handful and a half, a third bodyguard was summoned to help restrain him. It went quick. One minute he was outside in the midst of the confusion, the next he was inside in the cool refrigerated air of the venue. He felt the ground beneath his feet. His knees knocked together, the flood of adrenaline coursing throughout his body finally running its course. Brian was giggling as he walked past AJ patting him on the shoulder, “Punk.”

AJ glared after him, noting that Brian was visibly shaking too. Brian knelt beside Nick, who was sitting with his back against the wall and his knees to his chest. A single bodyguard was kneeling next to him as well. AJ stumbled into Kevin, who grabbed his shoulders giving him a little squeeze, “You ok kid?”

AJ nodded, “I think...” He let Kevin guide him over to Brian and Nick though.

“It wasn’t so bad,” Brian was saying to Nick, rubbing his back. Nick was upset, he didn’t like being carried about like a toddler, but that was what he had been acting like at the time. Nick’s head remained on his knees as his shoulders continued to heave, “You’re ok... We’re all inside.”

“Hey guys,” it was Nick Lachey from 98 Degrees, and Jessica Simpson, his girlfriend approaching, “Everything ok?” Their concern seemed genuine enough.

Brian looked up at them and smiled warmly, “Yeah, we’re fine. Just some minor problems...”

“Minor problems,” Howie snorted rolling his eyes, “Nick and AJ are the problem.”

AJ saw red, Kevin’s restraining arm kept him from going at Howie. Howie really should thank Kevin, AJ would remind him to do just that one time. Brian and Kevin glared at Howie as he whirled and walked away from them followed by his bodyguard.

“Sour D can kiss my ass,” Nick muttered from his knees, he raised his head and looked up to Nick Lachey and Jessica, “Hi,” he offered. Brian stepped back to help him up.

“Hi Nick,” Jessica said, “Was it so bad getting in here?” She smiled at him and reached to wipe a tear from his pale cheek. His hand went to his face realizing that he was crying, “Oh man..” he flushed with embarrassment and turned away.

“It’s ok,” Jessica was saying, seeing his embarrassment, “All of us get nervous sometimes, and you had good reason to be. It’s been awhile, and you’ve been through a lot..” that was as far as she would go with her sympathies, not wanting to touch upon any uncomfortable topics. She was curious as was her boyfriend, and everyone else. Just what had gone on the months the Boys had disappeared from the public scene?.. And most of all... what had gone on in that basement?

“Yeah,” Nick Lachey was agreeing, “That crowd was pretty scary out there, I don’t think I’ve ever seen one so big. I wanted to turn back, get in our van, and shut the door... and when I saw them pulling at Jess back there... My heart just about leaped out of my chest.”

“At least you don’t have sneaky ass bodyguards who creep up behind you and grab you from behind, and carry you like a baby to places you don’t wanna go,” Nick muttered unhappily. He took a deep calming breath, “I guess I...we..” he looked to AJ with a smile, “deserved it. We weren’t being very professional.” He turned back to his bodyguard who was still kneeling on one knee, “Sorry Reggie.”

Reggie nodded, “It was actually kinda funny Nicky, and the picture in tomorrow’s papers are going to be great!”

Nick gasped as did AJ, “Shit!”

Brian began to howl with laughter and Nick and AJ tackled him to the floor in a violent attempt to beat the humor of the situation out of him.

Kevin stared at the squirmish at his feet and took a step back so he wouldn’t become involved.

“I guess they’re ok now, huh?” Jessica asked.

Kevin nodded, “Yeah, they’re ok now. Thank you.”

The couple smiled and left to join the rest of 98 Degrees. Kevin looked around at all the performers surveying damages done to their own persons by rampaging fans. Backstreet had had so many bodyguards and ran in so quickly they were hardly noticed, well except Nick who made a scene as he tried to evade his captors, who were his bodyguards.

“Guys,” Kevin spoke to AJ, Brian, and Nick. He could spot Howie out of the corner of his eye standing beside some chairs. No matter how Howie acted, he would never veer too far away from the group. He, like the others, liked to know where his Backstreet brothers were at all times, “This is it. We’re here... Can we do this?”

AJ, Brian, and Nick stared, and Howie moved closer.

“Yes, you can,” Johnny Wright had wandered up behind them, “It’s in you. You’ve made it this far, you may as well take it all the way.. Like you did so many years ago.”

Five heads all nodded at Johnny’s words, “We can do this,” Brian said firmly.

“We can do this,” Kevin agreed, he looked to the remaining three.

“If you can do it, so can I,” Nick said hesitantly, “I hope... I mean, I can.”

“Lets do it,” AJ said with a shrug, ignoring his inner turmoil. He’d deal with that some more when the time came.

“Howie?”

“Lets break a leg,” Howie said in a small voice, then he cracked a small smile.

“Gasp, Sour D doth smile...”

“NICK!”

“What?”

The curtain went up at 6... and Backstreet was scheduled to go on for their first set at 6:43. Nick, Brian, Kevin, AJ, and Howie all sat in full costume and make up biting their nails. Now it was time to panic. They had agreed to do this? They had said they could do it? Were they crazy? “Guys, I think we can still call a cab...” Brian was saying holding his shaking knees still.

“No,” Kevin said, “We signed a contract to do this... If we don’t do this we get sued.”

“Ooh.. lawsuit,” AJ groaned, “I knew we shouldn’t have signed that stupid contract!”

“Shut up AJ!” Howie snapped, “I was the one that knew we shouldn’t have signed the stupid contract!”

“Forget who didn’t want to the fact is that we all did, so now we’re stuck!” Nick interrupted resting his head on his hands with were propped up by his elbows on his knees.

“So what if we get sued... We’ve got 60 mil...”

“They’ll sue us for all we’re worth,” Brian was nodding, “We’ll be as broke as Hammer.”

“Damn...”

“Maybe they’ll take pity on us,” AJ said hopefully.

“Guys...” they all looked up to see the members of N’Sync in front of them, “You’re not here because of a contract, you’re here to perform for your fans,” said JC trying to look helpful.

“They only want to see us naked,” Nick replied still looking downcast.

“Nick!” Kevin, Brian, Howie, and AJ gasped.

“What? It’s true, I saw it on one of those signs... No wait, that was a sign for Britney. Oops,” Nick grinned at his own little pun.

Joey laughed, “Ok, you can still be a smart-ass so obviously there’s nothing wrong with you. And if there’s nothing wrong with you...”

“Oh my back!” Nick groaned suddenly falling over Brian. Brian shoved him away, “You clown!”

“Ok, we’re trying to give you guys an inspirational speech and...”

“Oh, is that what it is?” Nick blinked innocently.

“We’re leaving,” Justin said, they started to move.

“No wait, wait,” Brian called them back, “Ignore Blondie, we really appreciate you guys all trying to help us out. Everyone’s been so nice... and I for one, wasn’t expecting that. I was expecting you guys to be... weird around us, you know? Because of... well...”

“When we were kidnaped and held hostage for 2 weeks,” Nick supplied gazing at N’Sync, as they blinked incredulously. Nick said that as if it were nothing.

“Um...”

“Oh come on, everyone’s been dying to get a piece of that story. It’s what you guys talked about before you met with us the other day,” Nick pressed.

“Nickolas...” Kevin warned.

“Well...” Chris hid a sheepish look.

“I knew it,” Nick sat back with a satisfied smirk on his face.

“Ok, it’s no surprise to me that people are curious,” Brian said breaking N’Sync’s uncomfortable silence , “I know I’d wanna know all the details too.. If I were you, being me, I wish I didn’t know.” He went quiet, his eyes darkening a bit.

“We’re not crazy, I’m sure that’s what a lot of you were wondering about us,” Kevin said, “We are a little up-tight, and we have a lot of work to do before we’re.. Well as confident as we once were, but we’re getting there.”

Lance was nodding, “Well listen we gotta go on in a little bit and we just wanted to tell you guys to break a leg, and have some fun out there. Don’t do it for the crowd, as everyone has been telling you, and don’t do it for your managers, do it for yourselves, for the fun. Once upon a time you must have enjoyed this, the stage, the screams, the energy, and if you let yourselves, you’ll enjoy it again. Just get out there, and I promise once you hear the opening applause you’ll wonder why you were ever worried in the first place.”

“Yeah, just relax and let it flow, you’ll do fine,” Justin said, “We’ll see you later!”

“Thanks!” AJ called after them, “You guys hear that?”

“Yeah, N’Sync just gave us good advice... like they don’t want to show us up,” Howie said looking puzzled.

“I never thought the day would come,” Kevin said, “Well, since everyone so far has been so kind as to give us free advice, I guess we had better take it. Lets go find Rhonda, I bet she’s pulling her hair out now, cause she can’t find us. Then I guess we’d better do some more warm ups, and Nick some more breathing exercises. We’re really gonna do this.”

“Oh God,” AJ was jittering clutching onto Nick’s arm. Nick stood with his back to the wall breathing slowly and deeply at Howie’s request. Brian sat on the floor with his head bowed in silent prayer, and Kevin knelt in front of a chair. “Five minutes,” Rhonda approached them, she felt a certain bout of pride at her Boys that went from trembling messes in the hotel lobby that wouldn’t budge from their chairs, to trembling messes standing behind a stage entrance. People buzzed about them doing final equipment checks, final make up touch ups. Dancers stretched their legs and arms. A back stage doctor had joined Howie by Nick’s side, he gave Nick a last minute once over. Nick was nodding positively at whatever he said or asked.

“Oh no,” Brian was groaning ending his prayer, “Could we get 5 more minutes?” he begged Rhonda.

“No, five more minutes, is five more minutes for you guys to chicken out on me,” Rhonda waited until Brian stood up before she hugged him, “You’ll be great kiddo.”

Brian blinked and stepped back from her embrace, “Thanks... you hug all your clients?”

“Just the nervous younger ones,” Rhonda said with a shrug, “And big babies.”

Brian laughed lightly, “Great, a funny manager. You and I will get along just fine.”

Rhonda grinned, “That’s great to know. Ok, everybody leave but my Boys and anyone else who will be on stage with them, prayer time!”

“We need more than a prayer,” Howie was uttering, but formed a circle with the others and took AJ and Kevin’s hands.

Brian began the prayer, “Dear God... It has been a while since we’ve had this before the show talk, hasn’t it? Well with your divine guidance and your helpful hands we have made it to this place in our lives once again. I ask you Father, to please guide us, watch over us as you always have with special care as we go on to perform tonight. Please keep our spirits up, calm our nerves, and let us give the best show we can possibly give tonight. Please let our choreography be sharp, let our timing be accurate, and let our harmonies be perfect. We go out there tonight with a clean slate, a new beginning, and please make it count. Thank you Lord for all that you have done for us so far, and all that we know you are about to do.... In Jesus’s name we pray, Amen.”

“Amen,” came the echo.

“Guys... 1 minute,” someone called.

“Here goes nothing,” AJ said giving his stress ball one last squeeze. Kevin took one last sip from his water bottle. Howie gave his knuckles one last crack. Nick gave his inhaler one last puff. Brian gave his cross one last kiss. It was time to go.

“Show time!”

The screams were almost ear-deafening as they step by step took the stage, one by one. Their band was taking their places behind them as they formed a slight arc in the center of the stage.

Don’t look at them, don’t look at them!

...in their underwear, they’re all in their underwear...

The words, I know all the words to the songs.. What song is first? Oh shit! I hope I don’t start it!

Relax...relax... “I want to see you naked!” I knew that sign was for us! Damn, how old is she? Is that her mother next to her?

...everything will be fine... I can do this. It’s not like I sing, anyway.

“Hello New York!” AJ began in a steady voice, he put everything he had into keeping his voice from shaking.

“How are ya’ll doing tonight?” Brian followed AJ.

“It’s been a while,” Howie said, “But Backstreet’s back, and we hope you’re ready... cause we...”

“...we are,” Nick finished for Howie, “Lets start this right...”

The opening chords for Shape Of My Heart started...

Here goes...

Brian’s hand shook as he held the microphone but his voice came out as smooth as silk over the first phrases of the song. His voice was a little quiet at first, but after gaining confidence from the screams and many voices singing along, he grew stronger. By the time they hit the second chorus they knew that they had missed this, and like Lance Bass had said, they wondered why they had ever worried in the first place. Nick hit his solo right on, as strong and loud as ever, and even adding a slight trill in the end.

Then the music mixed into the faster pace of Get Another Boyfriend, and the Boys launched into their new dance routines. Dancers pranced onto the set to join them as the music cued them. It was fun... the shakes had been cured, the jitters had vanished, along with all their fears of the stage. As they looked into the eyes of the audience, they knew where they belonged, as they once had many months ago. Backstreet really was back, and there to stay for as long as time would allow.

Chapter 8

Brian squeezed Nick’s hand back as they sat anxiously back stage awaiting their final curtain call, “Our big finale...”

“Yeah...” Nick nodded, apprehension of their next performance had calmed him down considerably.

“The guards say they’ve already cleared our path,” AJ approached Nick and Brian sitting down Indian style in front of them. He laid his hands on their outer knees, one on Brian’s, the other on Nick’s, “Hey this is gonna be great. No one will ever expect this from us!”

“I know they won’t... Even I’m going to be surprised if I’m able to will my body to do this,” Brian said staring incredulously down at the floor, concentrating on the shiny black material of AJ’s pants.

AJ squeezed Brian’s knee, “I’ll push ya off B, I swear it. If I jump you gotta jump too.”

“You won’t be on his side of the stage,” Nick said thoughtfully. He sighed and leaned his head back on the hard wall behind him.

AJ looked at Nick and gave his knee a tighter squeeze, “Then I’m trusting you to push him, kid. We’ve worked really hard at getting this just right, and we all agreed to this finale. And you’ve worked twice as hard as any of us, Nicky, you deserve this.”

“I deserve to commit suicide? I mean that’s what they call a person doing something that will lead to their death on purpose right?”

AJ raised an eyebrow at him, “Kid, you’ll do fine, just remember to keep moving, and don’t sing so much.”

“I know the drill,” Nick muttered, “Don’t want to faint now do I? Though I’m sure there will be plenty of arms out there waiting to catch me if I do.”

“Nick?” AJ questioned.

“Yeah...”

“I’m seriously gonna have to get the prescription to whatever it is you’re taking, cause I need some.”

“Heaven forbid!” Brian breathed, “One Frack is enough, and he was bad enough without the drugs... you over-the-counter-junkie.” He snickered at his joke, as did AJ, but Nick frowned, his eyes going a little dark.

“Uh-oh,” AJ said glancing at him once, then twice catching the darkening look of recollection in his eyes, “N...Nick, not now. After the show Nick, not now!” AJ removed his hands from their knees as Brian made a 180. He shook Nick forcefully until he blinked, “What?”

“Are you ok?” Brian asked him shakily, almost lost him for a minute, he was almost gone...

“You were about to spazz out again man,” AJ said petting his leg, “What did Brian say that disturbed you, do you remember?”

“I don’t remember being disturbed... I don’t...” Nick looked annoyed, “I wish I did...”

“I said over-the-counter-junkie,” Brian said suddenly, “I didn’t make that up, I heard it. I heard it the night we were... The last concert we put on, that girl we had left out of the Perfect Fan...”

“Yeah, yeah,” AJ was nodding, “I remember it vaguely. Cute girl.”

Nick frowned, “I was on the couch?”

“Yeah,” Brian nodded, “You still feel ok? No flashbacks?”

Nick’s eyes flashed with annoyance, “No!” He sat back with a flustered look on his face, “Why do I always have to have the most problems? God...” He leaned forward, truly troubled, “One of these days I’m gonna remember what happened during one of those attacks. Why is it that I always remember the nightmares, but never the day-mares? Am I that crazy?” He grabbed a handful of his hair and he thought about it and began to tug at the fistful absently, but roughly.

Brian and AJ exchanged a knowing look of concern. Nick’s discomfort with his condition and the self-inflicted pain he tried on himself was well known. AJ calmly stood and gently took Nick’s hand forcing it to release the fistful of hair. He untangled his fingers and brought Nick’s hand back down to his lap, “That is not going to help anything Nick, and you know it.”

“Nothing’s going to help anything with me,” Nick was muttering, “I’m broken beyond repair. I wish the fans could see me now... I bet they wouldn’t scream for me anymore, if they ever found out how much of a nutcase I am. Reporters are ready to eat me alive... they can see it... I just wonder how long it’ll be before the fans see it too.”

Brian and AJ frowned, deeply concerned, “Nicky, self pity is not getting you anywhere. How did you feel earlier, when we were performing?”

“Good.”

“Yeah, can you recall that feeling?”

“Yeah.”

“Good, recall it. Think about how happy you made those people out there, and keep it with you,” Brian said softly, patting Nick’s back reassuringly, “This is fun, Nick... We’re having the best time, now aren’t we? And we’re about to go out there to make the biggest finale, you can’t tell me you aren’t the least bit excited. Keep those feelings with you Nicky, they’ll flush out all the bad. Don’t worry about anything else, just worry about your having a good time, and not tripping over your big feet resulting in you falling and pulling me down with ya!”

Nick’s head whipped to Brian, his face broke into a grin as a slight laugh escaped, it was airy and soft, but it was still a laugh, “I wouldn’t be the one to trip, Brian.”

“Yeah sure Frack, we’ll see about that one,” Brian said musing Nick’s hair, “You guys wanna go find Kev and Howie, I haven’t seen them for awhile.”

AJ nodded, “They’re with Rhonda.”

“No, not Rhonda... she’ll make me drink juice!” Nick was complaining.

“They sent me to look for you,” AJ said suddenly, “Shit, they sent me like 10 minutes ago!”

“Score 10 points for AJ for giving both Kevin and Howie heart attacks, cause I know they’re freaking out cause now all three of us are missing,” Brian said standing, “Lets go find them now.”

“Oh do we have to? I’m not in the mood for grape juice,” Nick was grumbling.

Brian laughed at him, “Get up Frack.”

N’Sync was exiting the stage to ear deafening cries of their names. They had just put out an amazing finale ending with “Bye Bye Bye.” They each grabbed towels as they walked by their bench. Britney was sitting on it waiting for Justin to appear, “Beautiful guys, as always.” She rose to put her arm around Justin.

“Thanks, did you get a chance to watch the whole thing?” Justin asked putting his arm around her as well.

“The last two songs, the fireworks in the end was impressive,” Britney nodded, “Especially with the way Lance was...”

“Hey that was an accident! I could of been caught on fire!” Lance was shaking his head, “I wanna fire whoever set off that explosive when I know they could clearly see my foot was caught and I was standing too close to it!”

“That little jump you did was impressive though.. Especially the way you landed on your feet and rolled around like that...” Britney was snickering.

“Hey Lance, great job man!” Drew Lachey was congratulating Lance and patting him on the back as he laughed and walked on by. He was in full costume, probably getting ready for 98 Degrees’ closing sets that was set to go on after Backstreet’s... in fact, they were next. Shouldn’t they be...?

“...and the next time when I send you to find someone you won’t forget!” Kevin was growling as he toted AJ by the ear.

“Ow-ow-ow!” AJ volunteered, “I like my ear Kev, I’ve kinda gotten used to hearing from both sides of my head!”

“Stop whining AJ, that’s Nick’s job,” Kevin said letting go of AJ’s ear finally and wiping his hand on his black shirt. A group of maybe 10 other people surrounded them, and the other four Backstreet Boys and their manager. Three of those people were swarming the Boys like flies tucking and untucking shirts and applying or smudging stage make up. One of them was trying to talk to them over the on going chaos, he was obviously giving them stage directions.

N’Sync and Britney were quick to move out of their way watching the disorder in utter fascination for they knew this was the same chaos they all went through right before a performance. Watching at an outsider’s vantage point gave them a new perspective to it all, “How the hell do we get anything out that?”

“Ok, reassure me we aren’t going to plunge to our deaths again,” they heard Nick’s voice clearly demanding over the crowd of voices and noises of costumes being adjusted and shoes tapping as dancers worked on last minute in place footing.

“Nick, you will not plunge to your death,” a man’s voice said, “Now will you listen to me? If you feel light-headed at anytime, give us this signal and we’ll know to...”

“Ow! Stitch the pants not my leg!” Brian was crying out.

“Well if you would hold still...”

“Guys pay attention... if you don’t listen to me now, you’ll all plunge to your deaths!”

The degree of silence from all around was amazing, all heads whipped towards the little man with the clip board, “Now that I have your attention...”

“Five minutes!” someone shouted.

“Now see...”

“What, now you don’t have enough time to explain to us how not to plunge to our deaths?”

“You will not plunge to your deaths!”

“But you just said...”

“Forget what I said!”

“Then why should we pay attention to...”

“Three minutes!”

“Three minutes before we plunge to our...”

“Nick shut up!”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Guys, ok, eyes here!” Rhonda was yelling, “Pay attention to Scott, and Scott stop telling them that they’ll plunge to their deaths! I don’t want to hear anyone else saying that!”

Scott, the small man with the clipboard, looked grateful. He took over the conversation at that point explaining the set up of the stage to the Boys.

“Thirty-seconds!”

Only five people approached the curtain, the five Backstreet Boys. They looked tense, but ready, “Break a leg!” Justin called to them and AJ turned to wave before disappearing through the curtain following his brothers.

“Great, even he thinks we’ll plunge to our...”

“Nobody says that phrase!” Rhonda yelled from behind them, “Get your scrawny toosh out there!” Rhonda slapped Nick on the behind and laughed as he jumped and darted out through the curtain.

“They are really doing great, I am really proud of them,” Johnny said as he watched the monitor mounted on the wall of backstage lobby. Rhonda grinned, “It’s not over yet.”

“Big finale planned?”

Rhonda nodded, “Yeah, and I’m just dying to see if the knuckle heads can pull it off,” she chuckled, “I know they can, but they can be so silly at times.”

“Hey Johnny, what time are we loading the bus in the morning?” JC entered the lobby followed by Justin, Lance, and Britney.

“8 am, that means you all had better be up and ready at 7,” Johnny said, he turned back to the TV as an eery beat began to play... The Boys had disappeared from the stage and it had gone dark... except for that black haze that seemed to hoover over the atmosphere. As a fast paced beat began to play the Boys slowly re-materialized their black clothing making it hard to distinguish them.

“We’ve been through days of thunder..” Brian sang.

“And here it is,” Rhonda smirked.

“Here what is?” Britney questioned. She sat down beside Johnny and Rhonda to watch the monitor, “Nice effects, kinda creepy though.”

It was creepy in its effects. The stage stayed dark and a light purple mists filled the stadium, a dark purple light illuminated the stage giving the performers on it an eery appeal and further accenting the haunted sounds of the beat to the song. The audience screamed and cheered, eating it up. The choreography was light and simple, nothing fantastic about that.. What instead was fantastic was the Boys’ interaction with one another. Even Howie joined in on the fun offering high fives and half hugs to the others as they pranced around the area of the stage.

“...I guess there’s something about us. Whatever goes around we’ll always stay the same,” AJ belted as Kevin joined him and shoved him playfully, grinning at him wickedly as he jogged off.

“They look like they’re having fun,” Lance commented, “I would have been having fun when we were on stage if those idiots wouldn’t have tried to barbeque me!”

Johnny chuckled.

“It wasn’t funny!” Lance snapped, “I felt the heat!”

“And that’s about the only time Lance will feel heat...” Justin was muttering.

“I hope you don’t think you’re whispering Justin! Because I can hear you just fine!” Lance was saying sharply.

“Ok, ok, everybody watch!” Rhonda suddenly shrieked.

The Boys had created a ring in the middle of stage as if they were praying, “Now we’re minutes away... til it’s time to play...” The ring broke and they began to travel in small group to various sides of the stage. Brian and Nick veering more towards the left, AJ, Howie, and Kevin veered right, “Our heartbeats are rising, they’re letting you in. It’s time for the show to begin...”

The loud wail of an ambulance siren sounded, and Rhonda saw Brian gulp, and then...then...

“Good Lord what are they doing? They’re about to commit suicide!”

They jumped... right off the stage that was a good 10 ft from the ground.

“The Backstreet Boys just committed suicide! They just... just plunged to their deaths!” Anxious faces gazed at the monitor awaiting to see the Boys’ fate. Screams, screams louder than any that had been heard before erupted from the audience, the fans sounded hysterical. Why? They were in the audience. As the camera panned and moved to follow the dare devil performers, the viewers of the monitor could see the areas on the floor that had been especially cleared to form a path for two small platforms on wheels to follow. A security guard pulled the platform with a moped that he drove a moderately quick pace around the arena as the Boys on back shook hands, blew kisses, gave greetings, and caught prizes from their fans.

“That takes guts... those fans look ready to rip down those ropes... look at that!”

“Was that a box of macaroni?”

“Damn, they just had to show us up huh?” JC was saying absently watching as the two platforms crossed each other paths and they Boys exchanged greetings as they whizzed by each other.

“.....Everyone, we’re standing strong cause of what you’ve done...” the identical platforms hit the opposite sides of the stage at the same time, rising up so the Boys could hop back onto the stage. They sprinted to meet in the center and to sing the last words, “And this one goes out to you!”

“We did it! We did it!” the screams were still deafening as Nick, Brian, AJ, Kevin, and Howie came back in. AJ was off the walls with his energy, he jumped on Kevin’s back and tousled his hair while he was riding. Then he jumped off and jumped in between Nick and Brian who were grinning ear to ear, and walking a little slower on the account of Nick still trying to catch his breath. Howie walked next to Kevin both relaying their excited chatter to each other, plans for what they would do on the platforms for the next show were already taking shape.

“Hey guys.. Great show,” Monica Arnold had sauntered up to them.

“Thank you,” Howie said smiling at someone genuinely.

Monica smiled right back, and walked on to find her manager.

“Hey, Backstreet, you guys are just perfect...” Jessica Simpson appeared fully decked out in her stage costume.

“Um thanks...”

“Yeah, jumping off the stage and all... I go after you! Now they’ll expect me to jump off the stage too!” She was kidding, but she looked so pitiful AJ laughed, “Well, the floor’s still cleared off, and we can call down and ask security to get you a little moped. You could do it.”

Jessica’s eyes grew to the size of half dollars, “You’re nuts! Great show guys!” She walked on, eyes still rather large.

“You were wonderful,” Rhonda was hugging them each separately, “And no one plunged to their deaths.”

“I almost did,” Nick said, “Brian tripped me..”

“Oh I did not. You’re just clumsy!” Brian argued, “I landed perfectly..”

“With one leg sticking straight out to the side..”

“So I lost my balance...”

“You tripped me!”

“Guys, cool it,” Kevin said, “No one fell.”

“That’s right,” Rhonda said with a smile, “And guys, it’s over for tonight. You all did what you tried to convince yourselves you couldn’t... and you’ve all proven yourselves to your fans and your peers again. Guys you were amazing tonight, and tomorrow... tomorrow we’re going to get on that bus, and we’re going to show everyone else that you can be equally amazing if not more all over again.”

The laughter from the Boys died, and they were quiet. No words were spoken, they simply gazed at Rhonda, their looks clearly stating, well you sure know how to kill a moment.

“We’re going to get through this,” Rhonda said to herself confidently as she turned away from her clients who were heading for their dressing rooms. She walked into the small lounge to purchase herself a soda, “We will...” She let out a sigh and let her head rest against the cool machine. The thrum of power running though the belly of the machine relaxing her as she fell into an almost meditative state, “God be with us...”

Chapter 9

Fourty-three degrees... Kevin shivered and held Nick’s body closer to him for warmth, and restraint. The four large cargo compartments of the bus were open and empty. Anything that may have been originally inside the compartments was placed neatly outside on the ground. Nick, Kevin, Howie, Brian, and AJ watched as their bus was professionally taken apart by their security. Everything was brought out for the Boys to examine, then set on the ground to where they could keep their eyes on it.

“That’s it guys,” Rhonda placed her hands on AJ and Brian’s shoulders, “That’s the whole bus. Do you want to watch them reload it?”

Five large pairs of eyes peered back at her, and she sighed, “Ok guys, reload the bus, do it slowly so we can watch.”

The whole process in total took almost two hours. Rhonda had planned well ahead for the bus predicament and had woken the Boys and had security ready at 4:00 am, just for the sole purpose of loading the bus. She wanted them to see that no masked men waiting to kidnap them again were hiding on the bus. She was more than grateful to the security and understanding bodyguards for being so wonderful about the situation. This was two extra hours that they could have been asleep, but they seemed not to mind.

“OK, now it’s all ready, and it’s only 6. We don’t have to leave until 7, you boys want to try and get on? See what it’s like?”

Frowns were passed around.

“Guys, we’ve worked ourselves up to this step. Now you all clearly saw that no one that is not supposed to be on that bus is on there. You’re completely safe. Now all you have to do is get on the bus. No one is there to hurt you,” Rhonda hoped her voice was soothing, because what she was feeling inside was anything but... She was nervous.. If she couldn’t get them on the bus, she didn’t know what to do next. They had to get to the next venue, and they could not just keep taking airplanes.

“Can we... can’t we wait a little bit.. Maybe watch the bus, make sure no one’s gonna come running up?” Brian asked biting his nails and shooting nervous glances at the large black tour bus.

The others were beginning to nod and agree with him, “Brian, honey, how long is a little bit? If we wait out here any longer we’ll all be popsicles, and I’m afraid you’ll never build up the courage to step on that bus. The longer we wait the more time...”

“We have to chicken out...” they chorused along with her.

“Fine... so who’s going on first?” AJ cast his eyes around at his brothers who in turn looked around as well.

“Why don’t you all get on at the same time?” Rhonda suggested.

“We can do that.. But somebody’s still gotta be first in line and step on it first,” AJ said, “I nominate... Howie.”

“What? You can’t nominate me!” Howie argued.

“Well I couldn’t nominate myself!” AJ exclaimed.

“Well I nominate you!” Howie shoved AJ back a step and AJ flushed. He shoved Howie back, and Howie prepared to hit him. Kevin put himself between them, “Stop it you two.”

“Maybe we should pull straws?” Brian said scratching his head.

“Wonderful,” Nick said suddenly looking perky, “I’ll go and get them. If I take too long you guys can go ahead and feel free to board the bus without me.” Nick turned to run but Brian grabbed him by the collar, “Not so fast Frack.” Nick was jerked back and he stared at Brian, “You just attempted to choke me!”

“I did not!” Brian countered, “I just grabbed your shirt so you couldn’t run away, you turkey!”

Nick scowled at him, “I’m cold, I wanna go inside!”

“Damn it!” Howie yelled at him, “Do you think you’re the only one that’s freezing his ass off out here? Now somebody’s gotta get on that bus and then maybe Rhonda,” Howie said her name nastily, “might let us go back inside before we all catch pneumonia!”

“Well, Howie, I do believe you just volunteered your damn self!” AJ wanted to push Howie again, images of him falling down and hitting the pavement made him smile. AJ instead grabbed Howie by the shoulders roughly and began to propel him towards the bus. Howie let out a squeal of surprise and then rage. He fought AJ as AJ manhandled him to the bus door.

“AJ! STOP!” Kevin, Rhonda, and Brian were all yelling things in this manner and chasing after the two. “OW DAMMIT!” AJ threw Howie aside and clutched at his arm, “You bit me!”

“You asshole!” Howie charged AJ rammed him into the side of the bus, “I should KILL you!”

Kevin tried to grab Howie from behind but Howie whirled around pummeling Kevin in the stomach. Kevin let out a low grunt and clutched his stomach. Brian stopped his charge for Howie and instead knelt down beside his cousin, who looked green and was doubled over in his pain. Howie’s eyes were wild and dark as he squared off with AJ and Rhonda, “You messed up McLean..”

“No, you’re messed up!” AJ yelled throwing his fist at Howie and roaring as Howie dodged his fist and tried to throw one of his own, “Boys stop this!” Rhonda was yelling. Bodyguards jumped into it, pulling AJ and Howie apart and holding them back from each other.

“Oh my God Howie, have you lost your mind?” Brian was yelling in Howie’s face.

“Brian, shut up,” Rhonda said in a cool voice, “Everyone calm down ok. Just cool off, breathe, and calm down...”

There was a few minutes of silence... that faded at the sounds of Kevin throwing up,“Shit. Dammit Howie...” Brian was muttering rubbing his cousin’s back, “Are you happy now?”

“The only thing that will make me happy is be off this Godforsaken planet!” Howie’s voice broke as he screamed this. The sounds of his crying sent chills through Brian’s body. A bodyguard held Howie tighter as he fought to free himself for another moment. He went still, as did everyone. Rhonda stood in the center of the mess looking absolutely lost.. This had fallen apart... The situation was out of control. Management was wrong, they had been wrong, the Backstreet Boys were not ready for this... And now, because of being forced into touring too early, there might not be a Backstreet Boys. Rhonda shuddered and all at once a thought hit her, “Where’s Nick?”

Four heads jerked in her direction. Kevin straightened up, Howie actually raised his head, and AJ made his bodyguard release him. “Oh God...”

“Nick?” Brian called.

“Nicky?”

“Here,” came Nick’s steady voice... from... from the bus. He stuck his head out of a window. “I said I was cold, and I’ll be damned if I was gonna stay out there and freeze my ass off.”

There was silence again.. But this time it wasn’t a horrid hateful silence, where one just did not know what to do next... This time it was... There was a giggle... in fact a lot of giggling. It came not only from Rhonda, but from the bodyguards, security and some of the Boys, minus Howie and Nick. It broke into uproarious laughter as they stared at Nick’s look of confusion, “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing Nicky... nothing,” Nick pulled his head from the window to turn around and see AJ behind him, “Cool new bus, huh?”

“Yeah, it’s a lot bigger than our older ones,” Nick said, “and I’ve already chosen my bunk.”

“As always Frack always gets first pick,” Brian said with a smile, “Kev?” he nodded towards the bus. Kevin rubbed his sore middle, “Yeah... in a minute.” He swallowed hard and walked to where Howie was still standing, still in the grip of his bodyguard, “Howie?”

Howie stared at Kevin, his face pale and smudged with tears. His long hair was wild around his face and his eyes were red and bleary. Howie finally bit his lip and nodded in agreement. His bodyguard let him go and he joined Kevin and Brian. One by one they boarded the bus and began to decide who would get the left over bunks.

“It’s too early for you to be talking...” Britney was grumbling to Justin as they walked out of the hotel to board a bus. They figured they could ride together and just trade off when it was time to sleep. Britney did not want to be trapped on a bus full of nasty boys, and Justin certainly did not want to be trapped on a bus full of crazy girls... or at least that’s what he told Britney. Britney would be sharing a bus with Monica, Samantha Mumba, and Jessica Simpson.

“You’re such a morning person Brit!” Justin wrapped his arms around his girlfriend’s shoulders, then stopped, “Damn... Looks like the Backstreet Boys are ready to go.”

“What time did they get up?” Britney questioned, “All their stuff is packed...”

Justin shrugged, “I wonder if they had any problems getting on the bus.”

Britney yawned, “I’m having problems getting on the bus. I wanna get back in that bed.”

“I wanna get back in that bed too,” Justin said naughtily, making Britney smack him on the head, “Just for that comment...”

“Aaww.. Brit, come on I was playing around...” Britney was walking away from him, “Britney! Damn! Women!”

“Isn’t it a little early for her to already be mad at you?” JC appeared next to Justin, “Come on Timberlake, lets get this show on the road.”

Chapter 10

“Anybody tired?” Kevin asked. His head was bobbing up and down and he jerked himself from sleep. To sleep, would mean to get in the bunks. He was now ready for the bus, and had proved that by getting on, but he still dreaded getting in the bunks. He spied AJ, Brian, and Nick, who were intent on staring at the television, trying not to show any signs of fatigue. He didn’t want to look at Howie. Though he had been forgiven enough to get on a bus with him, Kevin’s sour stomach still reminded him of what Howie had done. Sour D... he snickered to himself, “Guys, come on...”

“No one here’s sleepy Kev,” Brian said glancing from the TV to his cousin.

“Guys, we have to get up at 8 tomorrow,” Kevin begged.

“Your point being?” AJ was now glancing at Kevin.

Kevin frowned, ok, he had been reduced to whining, “Guys I’m tired, and I don’t wanna get in the bunks by myself.”

Nick, Brian, and AJ broke out laughing, rolling all over one another as they yucked it up at Kevin’s expense. Kevin sat frowning at them and glaring, “Forget it...” Kevin got up slowly and one foot at a time headed for the bunk area alone.

“Didja do it, Frick?” Nick shot an undercover look to Brian, which was intercepted by AJ.

“Oh no...What did you guys do?” AJ looked a little exasperated.

Nick blinked, “AJ, I was talking to Brian... When your name becomes...” AJ grabbed Nick in a headlock and trapped him under his armpit, “Alright Riff, tell me what you’ve done or Raff here gets it.”

“AJ, stop it,” Brian said simply, he laughed and attempted to pry AJ’s arms from Nick’s neck.. And found it to be quite challenging.

“Brian, I don’t think he’s playing!” Nick squeaked as AJ tightened his hold.

“AJ let him go, you’re gonna hurt him!” Brian was trying to tickle AJ to get him to release Nick.

“Back off Brian and do my bidding or I’ll make him smell my pits!”

“Aaaaah!” Nick shrieked in horror, “We put paper macae pop out snakes under Kevin’s pillow...”

“Nick!” Brian groaned smacking his forehead with his hand, just as “AAAAAAH!” was heard from the bunk area. AJ released Nick, and Nick rolled away from him panting, “You creep!”

“Hey, I may be a creep but I ain’t a stupid creep. When Kevin kills you two for tampering with his bunk, I’ll be standing on the sidelines,” AJ vacated the couch and entered the small kitchenette where he had stationed his precious cookbooks.

“NICK! BRIAN!”

“Suddenly I’m having seconds thoughts about this whole prank,” Brian gulped, “Nick.. Nick?” Nick was nowhere to be seen.

“Brian...” Kevin was in the doorway of the bunk area, “Who did it?” He held a decapitated paper macae snake in his fist. He held it out to Brian as he came closer shaking the snake angrily, “Nick, GET OUT HERE!”

Kevin stalked to the other side of the couch and bent over. He reached under it gently then roughly yanked out what was under it with a growl. Nick cried out, “I’m sorry I’m sorry Kev! It was all Brian! He did it! He did it!”

Brian gasped as Kevin whirled around to him, but only after he grabbed Nick off the floor under his belly and had him firmly tucked under his arm. “No, it’s not like that cuz. I’d never do a thing like that! It was Nick, it was all his idea, and he made me!”

“He’s lying Kev!” Nick was wailing under Kevin’s arm, “You shut up! Both of you!” Kevin threw Nick onto the couch. Brian shot Nick the finger and Nick sneered back at him, “That prank was uncool guys.. You know I was afraid... afraid to go back there.”

“We just wanted to loosen up the situation,” Nick said softly, looking up through his hair, trying to appear innocent.

“Yeah, I mean, you should be glad that we’re dealing with this whole thing so well,” Brian said, with an apologetic smile praying desperately that he wasn’t trying his luck. Kevin stared at them for the longest time, the expression on his face not angry, but still unreadable. Finally he smiled, and shook his head, “I’m gonna kill you two before this tour is over, I just know it.” He tossed the snake onto Brian’s lap and walked back into the bunk area chuckling.

Brian and Nick turned to look at each other and let out sighs of relief, “Man.. I thought we were dead.”

“Yeah...” then Brian play punched Nick, “I can’t believe you were such a sell-out.”

“He could have broken me in half. You know I’m brittle Brian!” Nick said holding out a scrawny arm, “Look at this... I look like a damn stork. One snap is all it would take!”

Brian grinned maliciously, “Oh really?”

“Yeah.... er no!” Nick changed his mind on his answer when he caught sight of the evil look on Brian’s face, “Brian, leave me alone!” He scrambled off of the couch and jumped behind the chair Howie was sitting in calmly trying to read his novel. So far he had been able to ignore positively everything in the room happening around him.

Brian was circling, coming to the chair. Nick watched his every calculated move, “Would you guys kindly go somewhere else and play?” Howie grumbled loudly slapping his book down on his knees and glaring up at Brian.

Brian frowned, “Tell Nick to move.. I’ll follow.”

Howie rolled his eyes, “Nick, did you take that Serevent earlier like I asked you to?”

“If I say ‘I forgot’ will you yell at me?” Nick answered.

Howie groaned, “Nick that was for your own good! If you have problems tonight don’t wake me!”

“I wouldn’t wake you up anyway Sour D.. You’d be even...”

“NICK IF YOU DON’T STOP CALLING ME SOUR ‘D’ I’M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!” Howie shouted hurling his novel onto the couch. He stood up in a flash and stormed into the kitchen. Brian looked at Nick, “Nick... you know you really shouldn’t upset Howie like that. One of these days that big vein in his forehead is gonna pop while he’s yelling at you.”

Nick blinked, then snickered, “I’m gonna tell him what you said.”

“Nick don’t you dare...” Nick was skipping into the kitchenette where Howie currently was at, “Nick! Damn...”

The buses and Rhonda’s van stopped at the next hotel at around 9 the next morning. Rhonda was putting the finishing touches on her make up. She gazed at her reflection looking satisfied. Her van was more of an RV with a small bed, mini bathroom, a tiny kitchenette, and a small table with two built in bench chairs. She had sat for almost an hour staring at her reflection and styling her hair in front of a small portable vanity mirror. It was all she could do to restrain herself from calling their bus. She had called around 5 o’clock the previous evening, and they had sounded OK. She frowned, anyone could sound OK. As soon as she felt the van come to a halt, she jumped up, ready to run to the Backstreet bus and salvage what may be left of them. She had wanted to stay with them that night, but they didn’t want it. She knew it had something to do with their other manager. Max Silverstein. Rhonda had only met the man once, and to be honest, he didn’t impress her, but he also did not deserve to die. No one deserved to die in the manner of which Max Silverstein had been killed and tossed aside like garbage. She shuddered, it could just as easily have been her. She could have been their manager then. She wondered how Johnny Wright and his ex-wife had felt. Either one of them could have been the one on that bus that terrible night. She exited her van the sunlight assaulting her eyes.

“Morning Rhonda!” Johnny Wright was climbing off his bus, Chris Kirkpatrick and his bodyguard followed.

“Morning Johnny!” Rhonda smiled and waved and turned her head to the bus in front of her van. She rubbed her chilly arms and made her way to the door. She knocked on the bus double doors lightly and almost jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder, “Oh!”

“Nervous about this?” Johnny asked her smiling tightly.

Rhonda nodded, “You missed what happened yesterday morning when I tried to get them on the bus.” She backed up a bit as the bus double doors opened and the driver greeted her. She stepped onto the bus slowly, Johnny following her. She expected to see five very scared individuals sitting around their common area, very tired cause they hadn’t slept a wink. What she saw instead was three individuals, two on the couch covered in green confetti, and one sprawled on the floor surrounded by lines of dried silly string. Soft snores came from the blond one who lie draped over his partner in crime or in this case grime!

Rhonda stared from them to the mess surrounding them.

“Look at this,” Johnny’s mouth hung agape, “What did they do?”

Just then Kevin came from the bunk area scratching his head and yawning, only fully coming awake when his foot crunched down on something. His nose wrinkled and he inspected the Frito Lay he had crunched. “Good morning Kevin, I trust you Boys all had fun last night,” Rhonda spoke incredulously. Kevin blinked and stared at her, shaking the sleep fog from his mind, “Rhonda? Johnny? What the hell happened to the...?” He noticed the three bodies littering the common area, “I had nothing to do with this. I swear I was asleep when Riff, Raff, and Bone destroyed our bus.”

Rhonda shook her head and chuckled, “So last night wasn’t too bad for you guys?” She moved to start trying to pick up around the sleeping individuals. Johnny simply groaned, “Don’t bother with that Rhonda, knowing these guys they’ll ransack it again by tomorrow night. It looks like we had nothing to be worried about after all.” Johnny patted Kevin on the shoulder as he walked by to take in the full extent of the younger members of his groups’ damage.

“You worried Johnny?” Kevin shot a look at his old manager.

“Of course I did,” Johnny said blinking back a little hurt, “I’ve known you Boys since Nick was barely 13...”

Kevin stared at Johnny, realizing his words may have sounded a little harsh, “That’s not what I meant Johnny. I’m sorry.”

Johnny nodded and sighed, “Well...It looks like you’re all fine. Where’s Howie?”

“In his bunk snoring,” Kevin rolled his eyes, “Thanks for checking on us Johnny.”

“No problem,” Johnny smiled a little before backing towards the door and exiting the bus.

“I think I hurt his feelings,” Kevin said softly, looking a little guilty. He turned to Rhonda who was gathering up pretzels and fritos and placing them back inside a large clear bowl that had probably once contained them.

“He shouldn’t have come in here anyway,” Rhonda said eyeing the foreign substance in front of her, “Kevin, just what did the kids do while you were sleeping?”

“The kids?” Kevin chuckled, “I don’t know. After the popping paper snakes I gave up and went to bed and pulled my pillow over my head tighter at any screams from their compartments.”

“Popping snakes?” Rhonda questioned looking amused.

“Nick and Brian rigged a bouquet of paper snakes under my pillow, and when I picked it up, BOOM!” Kevin relayed, “It scared the hell out of me, but it was kinda funny. What do you mean Johnny didn’t belong here?”

Rhonda set down the half full bowl, “Well ever since we got on the plane it’s like he’s been trying to take over my job. He used to be your manager, but he’s acting like he still is! I mean I understand him being worried about you and all, but he’s trying to do my job! I have a feeling if I had been five minutes later getting out of my van, he would have been in here waking you all up and cleaning. I mean, does he not think I can do a good job?”

Kevin frowned at her, “Johnny’s always been take charge. When he was our manager we never had room to breathe, he was always there. I think...well he told me the other day on the plane that he kept up with the..the kidnaping. I know he was scared... He did practically raise us on the road, and I think he’s feeling a little guilty for not being there for us. I mean, we parted company on bad terms a few years ago.”

“I’m sorry to hear about that, but if he steps in and interrupts me one more time I may have to...”

“Rhonda!” Kevin exclaimed with a wide smile, “Are you jealous?”

“No,” Rhonda said curtly she tossed her head of red curls and shook AJ’s still form on the floor, “Wake up Sleeping beauty!” AJ stirred and rolled over into the couch striking his nose and crying out. He sat up rubbing his nose, “Huh? I was with Cindy Crawford... I love that dream.”

“Wake up,” Rhonda was rousing Nick and Brian on the couch, “What did you boys do to this bus last night?”

“Nick and Brian did it,” AJ was groaning standing up and stretching his aching joints, “I was only defending myself.”

“Mm...” Nick was waking up, he licked his lips, “Chocolate syrup?”

“Howie’s hair spray,” Brian corrected Nick, he ran his hands through his stiff hair getting his fingers stuck in his fair curls, he removed his hands, “Honey?”

“Nope, Karo syrup,” AJ corrected. He touched his goatee, “Dried silly string?”

“Toothpaste,” Nick volunteered.

“Oh my,” Rhonda sighed, “Do I even want you guys to answer my question of what happened last night?”

“Probably not,” they all said.

“Man we really trashed this place!” Nick announced looking around.

“This will not happen again,” Kevin said, “You guys... I’m happy we all solved our bus anxiety, but did you have to solve it with... destruction?”

They nodded honestly.

“Well at least it is out of your systems now,” Rhonda concluded, she folded her arms over her chest, “Got that, it’s out. I don’t want to come on this bus again to another mess like this.”

“Yes Mom,” Nick said. He grinned as she ruffled his hair roughly and stopped as a sticky substance filled her hand, “Ok, good. Now first thing’s first. We are going into the hotel, checking into our rooms... and getting cleaned up, now.”

“Who’s gonna wake Sour D?”

“I’ll wake him,” Rhonda said, “You guys go find your bodyguards, they should be waiting in front of the bus for you.”

“Been nice knowin’ ya Rhonda,” AJ saluted her and he, Brian, Nick, and Kevin went to collect their duffel bags containing a change of clothes and wash up materials and trooped off the bus single file.

“Huh?” Rhonda looked confused, then she looked back into the darkened bunk area that undoubtedly contained Howie, “Oh....” her shoulders slumped, “Out of the fryer, and straight into hell.” With that she ventured into the bunk area to meet her horrible fate, Sour D in morning mode.

Chapter 11

“..and welcome to MTV, we are here interviewing Jessica Simpson and Monica,” John Norris sat with the two young women in the seating area of the large coliseum they would be playing later that evening, “So how has the road been treating you? Are you remembering how much you love touring or how much ya hated it?”

“Love it,” Jessica said with a smile.

“I’m enjoying touring, especially this tour. I’ve met so many interesting people on tour this time around,” Monica said, emphasizing the word ‘interesting’ her eyes growing large as she said it.

All three laughed at her choice of words and expression, “Why do you say it like that?”

“Well, we’re in unusual living arrangements most of the time and sometimes it can be...challenging.. There are just too many boys and not enough girls on this tour!” Monica said shaking her head, “There was a bathroom fight this morning.”

“A bathroom fight? You don’t all get your own bathrooms?”

“Well see we had all came straight off the bus today. And there was a community bathroom designated for boys and girls and the boys decided to use up all the hot water before we could get to it!”

“So... we kinda borrowed their towels. We needed the extra cloth to help warm us up after taking those freezing showers this morning. I mean it was only fair,” Monica said with a nod, Jessica nodded along, they both looked to John. Their looks letting him know that he had better agree with them if he knew what was good for him.

“So, who would you say your favorite person on tour is?” John Norris was now sitting in front of Britney Spear and Samantha Mumba.

“Um.. Justin,” Britney said with a little smile.

“Aaaw..” both John and Samantha cooed, “How about you Samantha?”

“Um... well I’d have to say AJ McLean... Nothing gets betta’ than a man that knows his way around the kitchen,” Samantha ended with a giggle and she and Britney slapped hands in a gesture of agreement.

“I was trying to convince AJ to teach Justin how to cook for me,” Britney sighed, “You haven’t had a raspberry truffle until you have that man make it for you. Justin I love ya, but you got some competition baby.” Britney leaned in to the camera.

“Man I hate AJ McLean! Now all the girls think we’re supposed to cook ‘er’ something!” Drew Lachey was complaining, grinning to let the camera and John Norris know he was kidding, and his group mates agreed.

“AJ McLean,” the members of N’Sync chorused, “I hate that guy,” Justin mumbled.

“Now AJ, we’ve heard quite the complaints from some of the other guys about your culinary achievements,” John Norris was nodding to AJ who broke into a wide grin, he chuckled.

“What? Who complained? As long as there’s enough pastries and souffles for me to eat I’m cool,” Kevin stretched his legs out on the wooden stage. They were all sitting in the center of the large performance stage. The camera panned from AJ to Kevin.

“It’s better than home cooking. Leighanne can burn water!” Brian snickered pointing at the camera, “I love you honey!”

“Brian, lets not get into the things you can burn, ok,” AJ said, “Let me tell our MTV viewers about cooking class...”

“Lets not!”

“My favorite person would have to be Nick Carter,” Monica smiled, “He’s such a big kid. It’s adorable.”

“Yes, but all those pranks he plays are not!” Jessica was rolling her eyes.

“Pranks?” John clued in.

“Oh yeah.. Let me tell you...”

“I was watching the TV... It was the only one we had backstage and I try to change the channels and the remote doesn’t work right?” Lance Bass was relating, “So I have to get up and change the channel and when I reach over to turn the knob there’s freakin’ peanut butter all over the thing! It almost ruined my costume! That jerk removed the batteries from the remote and slathered the TV with peanut butter!” He stopped to glare as his beloved N’Sync brothers were howling laughing at him.

“John, anyone could have seen that hulking blob of peanut butter on the button, if your dumb ass would have looked first...!”

“Hey Joey, no cursing on TV, damn it!” Chris butted in, eyes widened in mock horror.

“Oh Nick Carter... God,” Britney was making a fist, but she was fighting not to laugh, “That creep put baby oil in my foundation!”

Samantha snickered, “‘Er skin neva’ looked so smooth.”

“Well Justin liked it! But what about when he put that fake lizard in your breakfast doughnut, she threw a fit!”

“I did not, just almost ate the thing,” Samantha was trying to maintain her dignity, “I could ‘ave choked on it! I was afraid for my very life!”

“She screamed like a girl.”

“Worst prank... Nick Carter,” Jeff Timmons was nodding, “Man, I only wanted a piece of gum for crying out loud. Never ask the boy for gum!”

“Or anything else for that matter,” Justin Jeffreys muttered, “I made the mistake of trusting him to refill my soda when we stopped at Taco Bell.”

“Ooh that was a smart one!” Nick and Drew Lachey popped Justin over his newly darkened hair, “Justin’s eyes bugged out like golf balls his drink was so sour!”

“It was actually good after the second sip,” Justin decided, “But I wouldn’t ask him to refill it again.”

“Best tour story? Oh man, the time me and Brian cut the power in the girls’ dressing room and they were all running around screaming,” Nick was laughing, “It was near the middle of the show during a costume change and I think Monica and Samantha were caught in there!”

“Them running out in their bras just made my day,” AJ was smirking and giving Nick five.

“Brian and Nick getting a beat down later was my best tour story,” Kevin supplied, “Those girls tore them up!”

“Never mess with girls in their dressing rooms,” Brian agreed shuddering as he remembered his flogging by the two angry women. He made a face into the camera.

“Best story?” Jessica stared at John, “I’d have to say the night me and Nick snuck out of the hotel and just went to the movies... had a normal evening out. It was so much fun.”

Monica was rolling her eyes, “I bet it wasn’t fun when yall came back in and your managers were sitting up in the lobby waiting for you.”

“I wonder who told?” Jessica pressed.

“It wasn’t me.”

“Man my best story is when I got back at Jessica Simpson for pouring ice down my shirt,” Justin Timberlake was recalling his story shaking his head, “I called and tipped her manager off about this date she and Nick Lachey had went off on...”

“That was you!” JC exclaimed, “Oh my God, they got in so much trouble! They’re going to kill you.”

“No they won’t, they’ll never.. Oh shit. Was that thing taping?”Justin looked dumbfounded.

“You dumbass!” Chris was laughing so hard he couldn’t sit up straight, he bowled over onto the stage.

“Chris! No cursing on TV damn it!” Lance hissed, then smiled at the camera, “Jessica, you wanna kill Justin I’ll let you know right now I don’t have his back, I’ll watch.”

“Most unbelievable thing I saw?” Drew Lachey’s light brown eyes went wide, “Um... Ah, Britney Spears in the buff!”

“You saw her?!!” his three group mates whipped their heads at him in disbelief.

“Well, after they stole our towels this morning, I snuck in their shower room to get mine back.. It has sentimental value...”

“Oh man, I bet Justin doesn’t know,” Nick Lachey pet his little brother’s head.

“I hope not.”

“Drew Lachey saw Britney naked and I had to hold Justin back from bursting into his dressing room and killing him dead, “ AJ recounted, “It was so funny!”

“Is that what was going on? I thought Justin was choking and you were giving him the heimlich maneuver. His face was awfully red,” Brian was rubbed his face trying to relax his poor face muscles that were exhausted from laughing so much.

“How’d he find out?”

“Sspph.. Like Drew was gonna keep that to himself,” Nick grinned winking at the camera.

“For some reason I don’t think any of us will be talking to each other after we sit down and watch this interview all together on MTV tomorrow,” Howie said, speaking up for the first time, causing John and his group members to look at him in surprise.

“The honorable Howie D has spoken,” John chuckled.

“Most unbelievable thing I saw?” JC Chasez rubbed his chin in deep thought, “Hmmm... Oh! Oh! Ok, we were cruising down this highway going like 70 or 80 on the buses right, and we’re all bored as hell. It was terrible, the TV was on the fritz, and we were all getting on each others nerves. Well the guys were starting to bicker amongst one another and I decide to open our blinds and take a peak out the window right?”

“Oh are you talking about...?” Joey was interrupting smiling brightly.

“Yeah, let me finish.... Well I open the blinds and I’m staring at another tour bus, right? I was just about to close the blinds again when the window on that other bus flies open, I mean window up not just opening blinds. And I see like all the Backstreet Boys.. Well like AJ, Brian, and Kevin, and they are all going at it yelling at each other...”

“Yeah,” Joey butted in ignoring JC’s glare, “So then JC calls us all over and we’re all looking...”

“I mean we were all just arguing a minute ago, but watching someone else fight is more entertaining,” Lance said.

“Hey, this was my question guys!” JC was trying to take back over his story, “Well anyway the others came over and we watched these guys just arguing for about 5 minutes and then all of a sudden AJ’s gone from sight for like 10 seconds. Then he’s back right, and he’s got Nick in his arms in some impossible position and Nick is kicking and yelling, and he...”

“He throws him out the window!”

“What?” John had been rather bored with their story until that part, “He what?”

“Well he didn’t actually throw him, he just kinda put him out, but he held on,” Justin was clarifying, “He really was out there though. He was like halfway out.”

“Yeah then the other guys finally caught on, I guess, cause next thing I know they were all behind AJ pulling Nick back in. And you could see them all beginning to fuss at AJ again and Kevin shut the window back,” Chris said, like it was the most unfair thing in the world.

“That’s brotherly love for ya,” John commented.

“That was so cool,” Nick was saying running his hands through his hair, “I felt like I was flying!”

“Yeah, then you hit your head on the side of the window,” Brian said ruffling his hair, “That was so messed up. One minute I was yelling at Kevin the next I’m seeing AJ at the window and Nick’s legs dangling.”

“I went out head first!” Nick said.

“AJ, why did you put Nick out the window?” John asking the question more for himself than for the sake of the interview, he was rather curious as to how this conspired.

“Well I warned him several times...” AJ grumbled.

“I didn’t think you’d actually do it!” Nick said tossing a piece of rolled up tape at AJ.

“Ok, ok... here’s how it all went down...”

Kevin sighed contentedly. A nice quiet afternoon, last time he checked the infamous Frick and Frack were asleep in their bunks, Howie sat on the other side of the room reading, nothing new there. Kevin wondered just what he read everyday because whenever he looked at Howie he always seemed to be in the same place in the thick book he always had opened. Kevin came to the conclusion that Howie was starting a new book everyday. There was soft puttering in the kitchen as AJ was washing the dishes he had soiled making them lunch. He’d made some French soup, and Kevin was sorry that there were no left overs. He was partly to blame for it he knew, he and Brian had sat around the soup pot cleaning out every last drop that had been spared. Kevin devilishly remembered the bowl of soup AJ had tucked away in the fridge for Rhonda.. Midnight snack, maybe. He walked to the small video cabinet and dug out the tape of his most recent western movie that he hadn’t watched. He had taped it weeks before he had left on tour and had neglected to watch it. He popped the tape inside the VCR and sank back on the couch, grimacing as he felt something crunch beneath him... Brian and Nick and their messes! He pressed play on the VCR remote and turned on the television. He smiled as he saw the opening credits begin to play. He had really been looking forward to watching.. What the hell? Was the tape jumping? Impossible, it had been a brand new tape when Kevin had... Cooking with Erma? “AJ!!!”

He heard dishes clattering and Howie jumped and nearly tossed his book into the air.

“AJ!!” Kevin was in a rage, he couldn’t think clearly.. If he would have been thinking he would have called for AJ more quietly, for his screams awoke Riff and Raff. So not only did AJ come into the common area with a “What-the-hell?” expression on his face, so did Nick and Brian.

“Did you tape Cooking with Erma over Gunsmoke at Dusk 2?” Kevin could feel his temperature rising, who else would tape Cooking with Erma but AJ?!

“Gun Smoke at Dusk.. What the hell is that..? Oh hey this is the one where Erma teaches how to make the perfect bunt cake,” AJ was watching the screen that was now beginning to blur again.

“AJ didn’t you even check the tape to see if something else was on it first?” Kevin was grumbling.

“Well you should have labeled it.. What’s happening to Cooking with Erma? Nightmare on Elm Street?”

“Oh yeah,” Nick and Brian watching the screen, “I forgot. We taped the Nightmare On Elm Street Marathon the other night. We had so much work to do that we...”

“YOU TAPED OVER COOKING WITH ERMA!” AJ exploded at Nick and Brian.

“YOU TAPED OVER GUN SMOKE!!” Kevin yelled at AJ.

“WOULD YOU GUYS SHUT UP IT’S JUST A STUPID TAPE!” Howie yelled from his chair.

“GO AWAY SOUR D!”

“THAT’S IT!” Howie shrieked. Before they knew it the Backstreet Boys were in a full blown fight, name calling, slander, and bad usage of the English language came into play. Kevin was yelling at AJ who was yelling at Brian who was yelling at Nick who was yelling at Howie. Everyone had a reason to yell, and if they didn’t they made one up.

“Look at AJ in his little apron,” Nick was chanting in a sing-songy voice, “Oh he looks so cute...”

“Nick if you don’t shut up...” AJ was rumbling.

“Amanda will never have to wear the skirt in your relationship. AJ’s got that taken care of,” Nick was still chanting and batting his eyes and twirling imitating AJ acting in a feminine manner.

“Nick if you don’t shut up I’m gonna.. I’m gonna throw you out the window!”

“You might break a nail Alexander.. Or should I say Alexandra? Oh AJ you look so pretty.”

“I swear I’ll throw you out!” AJ felt his blood beginning to simmer.

“...so pretty in pink...”

His blood was boiling, his blood pressure was about to explode. Why was he getting so angry? The tension and anger in the room was adding kindling to his angry fire that he was directing at one person... the person who still flouncing around as if he were wearing a skirt! Voices too many voices, making too much noise... He vaguely recalled opening the window when he felt the cool air rushing in at him.

“I can’t stand to miss Martha Steward ladies.... wooooOAAAHH!” AJ bum rushed Nick grabbing him under the stomach and lifting him up almost like a small child. He had him scooped up like he was going to put Nick in a shopping buggy. He was getting heavy fast so AJ practically ran to the window as his knees buckled, Nick was putting up quite a struggle making it hard for AJ to keep his grip on him. He felt Nick’s hand connecting with the side of the bus wall trying to keep himself from being forced out but AJ pushed hard and Nick’s hand came free as he cried out and he was falling through the window. AJ only realized what he was doing when Nick was half out of the window screaming bloody murder and he could hear the voices of the others, “What in the Sam hill..? AJ, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!” AJ caught Nick’s thighs before he slide out of the window too far. He felt arms roughly moving him aside and taking hold of Nick’s limbs. Within seconds Nick was sprawled on the floor of the bus looking dazed but strangely calm, in fact, “That was so...awesome. AJ can you do it again?”

“What the hell were you thinking, you could have killed him?!” Brian was yelling.

“Have you lost your mind?!” Howie was yelling at him.

“AJ... AJ, can you do it again?” AJ could feel Nick tugging on his pants as he still sat sprawled on the floor.

“You idiot, I don’t care if you were just playing, you could have dropped him. Did you see how far he was out there?!” Kevin was screaming while slamming the window closed.

“AJ... that was cool, I wanna do it again.”

“WOULD YOU SHUT UP NICK!” Everyone snapped then. They all stood, well except for Nick who sat pouting, staring at each other. Each red in the face and each panting, “Forget about TV, lets just play cards.”

“Where are they?” AJ questioned.

“Well I don’t know you had them last!” Brian snapped.

“NO I DIDN’T!” AJ shrieked.

“Well I DIDN’T HAVE THEM!”

“... And kids after watching this segment of MTV 1515 with all your favorite celebrities, I urge you, don’t do drugs. This is John Norris from MTV saying goodbye.”

Chapter 12

“Brian hurry up, I think someone’s coming!”

“Calm down Nick, I’m almost done... I can’t believe you talked me into this,” Brian was muttering he aligned the final canister, “Alright now pull me out of...” he heard the metal grate shut, “Nickolas damn it...”

“Shh!” was hissed at him from below.

Brian Thomas Littrell was currently inside a ventilation shaft. He lie vertically fighting his claustrophobia as he kindly waited for whoever Nick was talking to, to leave.

“Hello Nick,” Johnny Wright greeted Nick. Nick was standing in the hallway seemingly all alone lounging on a wall by a small table. A vase of expensive flowers decorated the table, Nick smiled at Johnny in greeting.

“What are you doing out here by yourself?” Justin Timberlake and JC Chasez had been walking with their manager discussing a new endorsement add they could sign, “Don’t you usually have a babysitter with you?”

Nick made a face, “Ha, ha, Timberwolf.”

“So what are you doing out here? Waiting for someone?” JC asked nodding to Nick.

Nick blinked, then nodded, “Yeah, I’m waiting for Brian. We’re going to go play in the arcade.”

“Ok,” JC shrugged, “Well, see ya.” They left.

“Ok B, it’s safe...”

“What the hell?” Justin was saying as they were turning the corner, “You never see any of those guys standing around alone. Not even Howie.”

“He’s up to something,” Johnny said simply.

“What makes you say that, he said he was waiting for Brian?” JC frowned.

“I’ve known that boy since he was 12 years old.... Trust me, he’s up to something,” Johnny continued to walk and Justin and JC followed him.

Nick removed the flower vase and set it on the floor so he could crawl back onto the table and reopen the grate to the ventilation vent, “They’re gone. Are they lined up right?”

“Yeah, and I’ve had extra time to make sure, now pull me out!” Brian was grumbling sliding his body down the shaft until his sneaker encased feet were exposed. Nick grabbed his feet he was going to steady Brian and keep him from falling, “Hold on let me get down and move the table. I don’t think it can hold the both of us. Nick jumped off the table and moved it out of the way. He gazed down the hall to make sure no one was coming, “Damn it!”

“Ow, ow Nick!” Brian was yelling as he felt himself being pushed back up, “Somebody’s coming, it looks like Kevin!”

“Damn!” Brian cursed himself desperately trying to pull himself back in the shaft. His hands slid across the smooth metal lining of the shaft, “Nick help!” Nick gave Brian a good push and Brian was able to get his feet back into the shaft Nick hurriedly moved the table back and used it to climb on and shut the vent. He was sitting on the table when Kevin’s form was appearing around the corner, “Nick? What the hell...?”

“I’m... just waiting for Brian,” Nick said simply, “There was nowhere to sit.”

Kevin frowned, “Then why meet him here?”

“I don’t know, ask him,” Nick shrugged.

“Get off the table and pick up those flowers,” Kevin said in a low voice, “How long did Brian say he was going to take? You don’t even have a bodyguard with you.” Kevin nodded behind him to Ralph who was approaching, “You know you’re not allowed to go out alone.”

“He just left, he’ll be back,” Nick said.. The sooner you leave the faster he’ll come back, “Don’t you have somewhere you need to be?”

Kevin’s eyes widened, and Nick gulped, “Trying to get rid of me Nick?”

“No, it’s just.. You’re bothering me!” Aachoo!

Kevin glanced at Nick, “What was that?”

“I didn’t hear anything,” Nick looked confused, he began looking around.

“What is going on? Where is Brian for real, Nick?” Kevin was leaning closer to Nick looking a little frustrated.

Nick frowned and suddenly smiled, “He’s in the ventilation shafts. Wanted to see if he’d fit, after him we were gonna try me.”

Kevin groaned and hung his head in defeat, “Fine.. Fine Nicky, I don’t need this headache, I don’t! Stay here until Brian comes, do not move and go anywhere else alone! Is that clear?”

“Yes sir,” Nick saluted and Kevin scowled and walked away bodyguard walking beside him.

“Is he gone?” Brian called down, “I think there’s a spider in here with me.”

“You dork...” Nick climbed back on the table and reopened the vent grate and grabbed Brian’s feet he gave him a tug, “Ow Nick! Easy!”

Brian was half out when Nick got off the table to move it again. Brian then lowered himself down until he felt Nick’s arms close around him and he slowly let go. When his feet were firmly on the ground he heaved a sigh of relief, “You’ve got lent in your hair,” Nick chuckled. Brian’s sandy blond hair was a dull color from the sifted dust of the vents.

“Aw shut up, next time you crawl through those narrow ventilation shafts. I swear I almost got stuck! You might have squeezed through with your bony ass...”

“Oh rub it in, I have no ass anymore. Nicky can’t shake it like he used to,” Nick was quoting a fan he had overheard bitterly. He was moving the table back in place and climbing up on it again to close the vent, “Pass me the screw driver, Frick...” he waved the dust still settling in the air around him before sneezing three times in a row.

“Uh-uh, get down, I’ll do it,” Brian said in his protective “big brother knows best” voice, “You’re probably allergic to everything in that vent right now that I just stirred up. That’s why I didn’t let you go in there. I knew there was a reason why I was brushing my elbows against steel instead of letting you do it since it was your dumb plan!”

“I didn’t make you help me,” Nick jumped down off the table and handed Brian the screw driver as he climbed up. Brian went about the task of screwing the vent grate back in place. Then he hopped back off the table dust from his hair and clothing mushrooming causing Nick to back away and start sneezing again, he was pulling out his inhaler as AJ was approaching. Brian was placing the flowers back on the table and arranging them to look like they’d never been tampered with.

“B-rok, what happened to you?” AJ asked gazing at Brian’s scruffy appearance.

“I got in a fight,” Brian said nodding, letting more dust fall from his hair, some drifting painfully into his eyes.

“Right...” AJ eyed him and then Nick. Nick just shrugged, “I was gonna jump in but ya know, Brian was doing such a good job. You should have seen the other guy.”

“You two are so full of shit,” AJ laughed, “Now tell me.. What did you really do? You know I won’t tell. Maybe I can help you out.”

“Hmmm...” Brian was thinking it over.

“I guess,” Nick shrugged again.

“Holy shit.. He’s gonna kill you if he finds out,” AJ’s eyes were huge as silver dollars, “Damn.. Why didn’t you tell me when you guys were planning this, I wanted in!”

“Well the main fault in a lot of crimes is involving too many people Alex,” Nick said lying on his stomach on AJ’s bed.

“And you came up with this brilliant plan of the ventilation shafts all by yourself? And you figured out the exact positions to put the spray cans?” AJ looked at Nick’s hand drawn blue print of the ventilation system. It was a nice artistic job.

“Yup, all the way down to the last millimeter,” Nick nodded.

“How’d you get these plans?” AJ asked, he began to feel nervous, if Nick could just get plans like these... how easy could it be for a kidnapper to get them too. He was beginning to shiver and both Nick and Brian frowned at him, “Take it easy Alex. I flirted with the manager a bit and told her about my revenge and she thought it was funny and helped me out with the plans and even let me in his room so I could measure how to align the cans so the paint won’t get on the carpet.”

AJ frowned.

“AJ there are cameras all over, do you really think we could have done something like that without higher permission?” Nick grinned, “Relax, we’re safe.. Unless Joey Fatone decides to retaliate. Then it’ll really be war, but hopefully after this stunt he’ll learn who he’s dealing with. I am King of Chaos and no one steps on my turf!”

Both AJ and Brian grinned affectionately at Nick shaking their heads. Sometimes they wondered what they do without the kid. Brian shuddered remembering that they almost got to find out the answer to that question, “Hey Nick?”

“Yeah Bri?”

“Never change,” Brian said softly. Nick frowned gazing over at him from his position on the bed, he rolled over on his side and propped his head up on his curled arm, “What are you thinking about Rok?”

Brian bit his lip and shook his head, “Nothing Nicky. Don’t worry about it.”

Nick continued to frown but it became apparent that Brian wasn’t going to say anymore after a few minutes, he sighed, “Anyone want ice cream? Fatone shouldn’t be back for while, I heard him say earlier that he was going out.”

AJ perked up to that, “That sounds great, Bri? Ice cream?”

Brian nodded hastily, “Yeah sure.” He stood from his sitting position and turned towards the door, “I need to wash up a bit first though. I’ll be back in ten minutes, don’t leave without me.” He hurried out of the room not looking back.

Nick blinked and sat up on the bed looking at AJ, “J, what just happened?”

AJ sighed staring at the door Brian had just shut behind him, “Like he said, it’s nothing Nick. We’re just.. Glad you’re here, that’s all.”

Nick’s confusion deepened, “Glad I’m here? What? You weren’t planning on taking me on tour..?”

AJ cracked a small smile he ran a tender hand through Nick’s hair, “Yeah, that’s it kid.” Nick didn’t quite believe AJ, but he let it go just the same. He hated seeing Brian so troubled though, it almost reminded him of himself... himself when he... “..k? Ni..? Nick!” Fingers snapping in his face. He stared at AJ’s knuckles, “What?”

“You were drifting into La La Land again,” AJ said in a slow voice, “You ok?”

Nick nodded, “So you guys were really thinking about touring without me?”

“No,” AJ shook his head, “We could never do that, but it was a suggestion.”

“Oh.”

AJ stared at his little brother’s profile. He knew somewhere in there Nick knew what was wrong with Brian, what was wrong with all of them. He didn’t care how many shrink sessions they all went to nothing would ever rid them of the fact that they almost lost Nick. They had lost Nick...if Howie hadn’t...and if Kevin hadn’t... He blinked back the memory. Nick was here now, he was sitting next him now, and if he wanted to, he could touch him. He felt his arm creep around Nick, he still needed that reassurance. Sometimes when he closed his eyes he saw him dead... he saw him lying on that dingy yellow carpet in Brian’s arms... skin turning blue, except this time they couldn’t help him. He had told his doctor about the dreams, about the ones where Nick had died in Brian’s arms... the ones where instead of being set free they had all been shot. Howie was killed right before his eyes when Brendon held the gun to the base of his neck. Talking about dreams was good, his doctor had said, but he must be able to distinguish his dreams from reality... But sometimes, sometimes he wondered right before he woke up just what his reality really was. Maybe they all did die, maybe Nick died, maybe Howie was killed, and he was simply dreaming this life where they were all alive.

“AJ you’re squeezing!” Nick’s shout of pain aroused AJ from his daze.

“Sorry Nick,” AJ relaxed his arm around Nick but didn’t remove it, “Nicky?”

“What?” Nick sounded a little ill-tempered.

“What I said before, I really meant it.”

“About the tour...?”

“I’m glad you’re here.”

Nick blinked, “Well yeah... I’m glad I’m here too. But if you squeeze me and get all weird on me again, I swear I’m leaving!”

AJ laughed, yeah this was reality alright, at least it was his reality. There was an excited knock on AJ’s door, and Nick quickly jumped up to answer it wanting to get away from AJ, “B?”

“He’s back!” Brian’s eyes were twinkling, “He just came in!”

“Damn, back so early, he must not have a...”

“There’s a girl with him!”

Nick beamed, “This is gonna be brutal. Quick we gotta get the cameras!” Brian and Nick sprinted down the halls towards Nick’s room with AJ trailing them, “Guys wait up! Wait for me! I want in!”

“This is my dream come true,” Joey just grinned as the woman began to caress the side of his face, he had long since forgotten her name, but what she was doing felt good. He grinned as she began to unbutton his shirt, “You look so good Joey.. I’m your biggest fan.” She removed his belt, “Without you N’Sync, would be nothing, I wouldn’t even like them...” She straddled him, “I wanna make you remember my name baby.”

That would be good, since he never even knew it to begin with, he chuckled to himself. Damn it was stuffy.. Stuffy rooms and hot sex never mixed well, “Honey let me adjust the temperature in here,” Joey said softly sliding easily from under her. She lie back on the bed with a sexy smirk that made Joey run to the temperature control panel. He lowered the temperature to 70 and then grinned, alright... now they could get started. He removed his pants and jumped onto the bed with a growl, “Now where were we?”

“I was about to.. What is that?”

“What’s what?” Joey frowned at her expression. The sound of cool air entering the room buzzed gently around them but... what was... “It’s wet...”

“I...”

“I think something’s coming from above us.. What the hell is this stuff?”

It began to fall thicker and heavier, it was hitting them in clumps, Joey jumped off the bed trying to look at himself and see what was splattering all over him and the bed.. He couldn’t see in the dark. He stumbled over to the lamp and flipped the switch and he and his date for the evening both screamed. They were covered in a heavy red liquid, “Oh God, is this blood? IS THIS BLOOD? Joey what have you done?”

“ME?” Joey was panicking too, “What the hell.. It’s coming from the vent!” He turned off the air conditioning, “What the hell is this stuff?”

“I don’t know what’s going on but I’m getting out of here!” the woman yelled she jumped off the bed and grabbed her high heels that she had abandoned on side of the bed, “I always knew there was something wrong with you people in these boy bands!” She threw open the door to the hotel and screamed as she was blinded by white lightning, “AAAAH!” She ran by wailing, her skin bleached cherry red and her poor little mockery of a whole dress ruined.

Joey tried to go after her but was struck by the white lightning as well... the white lightning of cameras flashing in his face! He stood half naked, body covered in red goo. He looked like a cup of cherry jello. “Smile,” Nick Carter said peachily snapping his final picture which developed right in front of Joey’s eyes from his Polaroid camera. Behind him stood Brian Littrell, AJ McLean, Monica Arnold, Jessica Simpson, and Nick Lachey, everyone but AJ held a camera. Brian pushed past Joey into the room carefully avoiding the water based paint and retrieving the video camera he and Nick had planted inside the potted plant beside the dresser.

“You creep.. You little ass...” Joey was muttering, “I could have had some.. What the hell is this stuff?” Joey ran his hands along his chest the redness rubbing off onto his palms.

“Just a little water color Joey, it’ll come right off,” Nick said easily, he looked into the room, “See I knew it wouldn’t get on the carpet too bad, Brian.”

“Yeah, it didn’t, it should wash out with a little warm water,” Brian was kneeling, checking the tape in the video camera.

“You... how did you get in here?”

“I have my ways,” Nick said, “Don’t worry about it Joe... So, you ready to say it?”

“Say what?” Joey said through clenched teeth he caught a glimpse of his reddened reflection in a hall mirror, and he glared at the audience of performers killing themselves laughing at his expense.

“Who’s the King of Pranks?”

“What? You ruined my evening for.. Why I oughta kill you, you little brat! Did you see her?! She was HOT!” Joey was beginning to breathe harder, “Oh no.. No, no, I will not surrender to you, now. Never! Just you wait! You’ll see what I do to you next!” Joey was waving a red finger in Nick’s face and Nick frowned, “You’re such a sore loser Fatone. Come on Brian, everybody got all the pictures they want?”

“Yup, hey Joey, this one’s going in the scrapbook,” Jessica waved around the picture of Joey’s beat red date screaming and Joey’s bedraggled reddened ass trying to chase after her.

“And this tape’s going to MTV!” Brian howled holding the video camera in one hand and waving around the small video tape in the other, “Oh Joey... Give up, you lost man.” He walked past Joey out of the room chuckling with his head down.

“No! No! I am the King of Pranks! I will get you back CARTER! I WILL GET HIM BACK!”

Two security guards walked by Joey’s open room and looked at the strange man with the red face rather oddly before shaking their head and passing on by, “But before I get him, I should close my door... and shower... But I will get him back,” his words sounded weak, even to him.

“... so you let them in and not me?” AJ was whining as he, Nick, Brian, Monica, Jessica, and Nick Lachey walked down the hall away from Joey’s room.

“Yup,” Nick nodded gazing at his photographs.

“Why?” AJ demanded jealously.

“Jess had a lot of cameras, Nick’s her boyfriend, and Monica’s my buddy,” Nick said batting his eyes at AJ, “And besides... you tried to throw me out of a bus window.”

“What?” AJ jogged to keep up with Nick, “But you liked it.”

“So, you still tried to throw me out...”

“Oh come on, you know I wasn’t really gonna let you go out all the way...”

“You guys got some messed up morals,” Monica commented wrapping her arm around AJ, “Tell you what. Next time I’m involved in a scandal, I’ll let you know.”

“Cool.”

Chapter 13

“I see us going up in a fiery bus crash...” Brian was plastered against the bus window utterly fascinated with the dreary terrain.

“Aren’t we in a wonderfully chipper mood this morning,” AJ commented eyeing his watch, he was timing his bagel pizzas. He had made them from scratch using a recipe he had made up himself.

“Tornados ripping through the sky sucking us up and hurling us into next Tuesday,” Brian droned, “Cows and tractors will buzz around our heads...”

“Brian, you’ve been mixing your drugs again haven’t you?” AJ asked raising an eyebrow. The timer on his watch went off and he hopped up to check on his bagels.

“Hey Frick,” Nick entered the common area holding a small backpack, “It’s dark back in the bunk area.” He flopped down on the couch and began to empty his pack.

“Darkness... eyes of the storm....”

If Nick’s eyebrows could go any higher they’d be antlers, he stared at Brian with the oddest expression, “Ignore him Nick, he’s been acting weird all morning. I think he got on the internet in the hotel the other night and stayed up reading fan fiction. You know, you would think our fans hated us reading about all the stuff they put us through... OH GROSS! You are not about to do that here!”

“Well where else, I couldn’t see in the bunk beds,” Nick whined, he had pulled out a self injection kit, “This is my first time to do this by myself and don’t wanna stick myself in an artery!”

AJ shuddered and disappeared back into the kitchenette. Nick rolled his eyes and carefully removed a needle and uncapped it, “Ok....” he sighed and found the place on his upper arm where the doctor had showed him to do it at... He had done it himself once, while Dr. Monroe had been supervising. He almost threw up all over himself, he would never get used to mutilating his body, and he had told the doctor just that. Dr. Monroe thought he was so funny, “Funny my ass.”

“Is that for Immunotherapy?” Howie had entered the room. Sour ‘D’ hath spoken? Sour ‘D’ never talked to the peasants unless they asked him something, and even then he just told them to shut up.

Nick nodded and held the needle over the tender flesh of his arm, his hand shook and wavered. Ok, Nick, you’ve done this before... Just stick it in and hit the plunger. “How long have you been using it?”

“This?” Nick held out the needle he had, “Maybe a month.”

“I thought you started Immunotherapy months ago?” Howie looked puzzled.

“I kinda had a reaction to the old stuff,” Nick scratched his head, “It broke me out in hives. Brian freaked out.”

Brian turned from the window, deciding he was bored with the gloom and doom of minutes ago, “They were everywhere I didn’t know what it was. We were getting out of the pool, I look over at him, and the kid’s turned into a strawberry!”

Howie actually chuckled, “Did you call his doctor?”

“Only after I talked him out of calling an ambulance,” Nick rolled his eyes, “He thought I was gonna die or something.”

Both Brian and Howie sobered up at that. Nick blinked at the sudden change of mood, then realized what he had said, “Sorry.” He bowed his head, then gazed up at Howie, “Howie, you wanna do this for me?” He held the syringe out to Howie who took it with a nod, “Which arm?”

Nick held out his left arm and turned his head as he felt Howie pinch the skin around the injection site. Then he felt the coolness of rubbing alcohol from a cotton swab... the next came the sting of the needle entering his flesh. He flinched a bit, but the real grimace came when Howie hit the plunger. After a few seconds the needle was being removed and Howie was disassembling it. Nick could still feel the burn of the medicine flowing through his veins and winced as Howie fastened a bandage over the area. “Did it hurt?”

“No, the medicine just burns,” Nick said rubbing his arm around the bandage, “Thanks Howie.”

“Your welcome,” Howie pet Nick’s head and stood up going into the kitchenette, “Hey, how come Sour D’s nicest to you, and you’re the most annoying person to him?”

Nick stuck his tongue out at Brian, “Cause I’m the baby gotta love me!” He started packing away his kit and tucking it back inside his bag.

“Guys, brunch is served!” AJ called from the kitchenette. He set the cookie sheet down on the bar counter. Howie already had one that he was eating along with his morning black coffee. He nodded to AJ letting him know it was good before going back into the common area to settle back in HIS chair again. “Wonder what book he’s gonna read today?” AJ pondered, “I always knew he liked to read, but damn. And just how many novels did he bring?”

Brian shrugged, “As long as he’s not ragging on us I’m fine. Where’s Kev?”

“Still sleeping,” AJ grinned, “He better hurry up and come eat if he wants one of these.”

“That’s for sure,” Brian was already working on his second bagel, “This is good.”

“Chef Alexander’s specialty tomato sauce on there,” AJ toasted off his third bagel against Nick’s orange glass.

Kevin came wandering out of the bunks 15 minutes later, nostril twitching, “I smell something good...” He approached the bar to see a cookie sheet full of crumbs, AJ’s fingers stained with tomato sauce, and Brian licking his plate, “What? Where’s the food?”

“I told you I was cooking almost an hour ago Kev,” AJ said flatly.

“OH.. But I thought you’d wake me up,” Kevin moaned, he looked to Nick’s plate. A plate-size bagel pizza lie there with a single bite taken out of it, “Nick cut that in half, you know you’re not gonna eat all that!”

Nick’s mouth dropped open, “Yes I am!”

“Give me half!” Kevin ordered as Brian and AJ were beginning to snicker at the wild deprived look in Kevin’s eyes as he stared at the cheese oozing over the side of the bagel as Nick sloppily lifted the thing with both hands. He took a hearty bite and chewed making unnecessary noises of pleasure, “Mmmmmmm...mmmmm.... so good...”

“Stop it! You’re just doing that to tease me! Give me that bagel!” Kevin ceased Nick and began tickling him relentlessly.

“Hey that ain’t fair,” AJ attacked Kevin smacking his hands away from Nick who was trying to cringe away, laugh, and chew at the same time. Kevin stopped when Nick started choking on the bagel, losing the battle and starting to laugh. He slapped him on the back and AJ backed away.

“God Kevin,” Nick breathed after recovering, “you act as if there’s nothing else for you to eat!”

“Are you ok?” Kevin asked instead.

“Yeah,” Nick nodded, “Just choked on a bagel, it wasn’t like you had to give me the heimlich or anything.”

Kevin patted his shoulder, “Go ahead and eat that bagel Nicky boy, see if I care... Cause I know for a fact AJ always makes an extra for Rhonda and keeps it in the fridge!” Kevin made a dive for the fridge and was blocked by AJ. “Oh man!” Brian was laughing getting up to help. Nick was setting down his bagel to participate too, “Uh-uh Nicky, why don’t you just chill and finish your food, this is gonna get rough!” Brian waved a hand at him before launching himself onto Kevin’s back.

Nick pouted, “I always have to sit out on the wrestling matches!” He complained... I’m not made of glass, I’m not gonna break. He slid off the stool and borrowed a knife from over the counter, gently he sliced off the small part that he had eaten and crammed it into his mouth. It tasted like tar now that he didn’t want it. He was no longer hungry. He left the uneaten portion that he cut on the plate for Kevin and he slipped off into the bunk area.

AJ sat quietly in the lobby next to Samantha Mumba, they were waiting for Brian and Nick to show their faces downstairs so they could go pick up some desert from the hotel restaurant. They had made the plans almost 15 minutes ago, where were those two? “I could have made us desert in the time it’s taking those two to get down here,” AJ said to Samantha.

“Ooh.. could you have made those chocolate truffle things again?” Samantha asked, eyes widening, “That was delicious, what will it take for me to get you to make those things again?”

AJ smiled at her, he liked cooking for people who appreciated him, “Honey, gladly say the words and I’ll have the ingredients picked up next time we stop off somewhere.”

“Ok!” Samantha smiled brightly, then groaned, “Where are those guys I need my SUGAR! I’m going to go to the desk and have them call their room.” Samantha marched off towards the front desk. AJ blinked and turned his head. His bodyguard stood nearby and he winked at him. AJ returned the wink with a wave. He was leaning back in his chair.. OH GOD! He froze..and swallowed hard. He knew what the barrel of a gun felt like pressed against his skin, he braced himself and felt his breathing quickened, his heart starting to race. Sweat was forming on his brow, “I don’t have any money on me man...” He said in a low strained voice.

“Damn, now how am I going to get the money to buy a piece of cheesecake?” the voice behind him laughed, it was.. AJ sprang on Chris Kirkpatrick knocking him to the ground. Passers-by stared, they tried to move along politely, but their eyes kept reverting back to the two boys struggling on the ground.

“You jerk! You jerk!” AJ was trying to land a punch on Chris’s body, but Chris was putting up a pretty good fight. The toy plastic gun he had been holding fell harmless at his side on the floor. It was a bright green and it gleamed mockingly at AJ who felt about as smart Joey Lawrence on Blossom. He shoved Chris one last time before getting up, his bodyguard came to stand behind him, “AJ, are you alright?”

“Is he alright? I’m the one he knocked down and tried to kill,” Chris glared at AJ, “I was just playing man, you’re crazy.”

“I am not crazy!” AJ spat, “You don’t do that to..to someone who’s had a real gun in their back, to their head...!” He was shaking, “God.. You just don’t know, you don’t understand!”

Chris was trying to be angry but found that he couldn’t, the only thing he found inside himself was regret. After hearing AJ say that, and reassessing the way AJ had reacted, led him to believe that his joke was distasteful. “Sorry man..” he uttered feeling ashamed, “Nick.. Nick didn’t mind.”

“Nick likes guns,” AJ snapped. Samantha was coming back, “Nick’s not feeling well and Brian said he couldn’t find us to tell us that they weren’t coming. What happened here?”

“Nothing,” AJ said softly he glared Chris up and down before sighing, “Sam and I are going to get some dessert. How ‘bout I buy you a piece of cheesecake Chris?”

Chris’s eyes widened in surprise, “Um.. Yeah, yeah sure.”

AJ nodded, he spotted Chris’s toy gun on the ground, “Oh, but one thing before we go?”

“Yeah.”

AJ took a step to get him closer to the little gun and after a second he brought his right foot down hard on top of it. Green plastic shattered onto the carpet. Chris’s mouth opened then closed. Samantha simply looked confused, “Now we can go.”

Chapter 14

“What the hell is that thing?” Brian asked, he was coming out of the bathroom rubbing a large fluffy towel over his still damp hair. Nick was blowing into a small tube, “It’s a home peak flow monitor,” Nick mumbled after removing the tube and checking its readings. He fiddled with something on the end of the tube and put it back in his mouth. He sat up straight took a deep breath and blew into it again.

“What’s it gonna do?” Brian sat down on his bed throwing the dampened towel into the white upholstered chair beside his night stand. He turned himself on the bed so he could face Nick who was studying the end of the tube again, “It measures how much oxygen I’m taking in.”

“Well?” Brian was coming to join Nick on his bed. He held a hair comb.

“I don’t know, it’s the best out of three,” Nick said rather snappishly but caught the stern look on Brian’s face, “They’re not as good as they could be.” Nick straightened and slid the indicator on the bottom of the small scale on tube to the bottom. He took a deep breathe and blew. He read the monitor again and made a face. He stretched across the bed to grab the binder he had resting on his night stand. He removed the pen from the binding and scribbled in some numbers. Then he shut the binder and got off the bed to continue dressing for the day.

“Nick, maybe you should take off today,” Brian looked worried, “If that monitor-whatever says you’re not taking in enough air..”

“It’s fine Brian, that’s what I have medicine for!” Nick shot back. He ran a comb hastily through his hair and then went to his closet on his side of the room and pulled out his bag. Brian frowned and watched him fish through his bag until he pulled out a small pouch. He brought that back to his bed and tossed it down. Then he went back to the task of getting dressed and packing up the remainder of his stuff they were getting back on the bus and driving to the next venue that was only an hour away. “I can’t help but notice that you’ve been a little hostile lately,” Brian said softly, he still sat on Nick’s bed. He picked up the pouch Nick had tossed down absently, “What’s in this?”

Nick was stuffing the rest of his dirty clothes inside a laundry bag, “I have not been hostile.” He disappeared inside the closet and returned with a stray sock, “It’s a corticosteroid.”

“Steroid?” Brian looked alarmed.

“No, well yeah,” Nick came to join Brian on the bed, “But it’s different.. Look.” Nick opened the pouch and turned it upside down. An inhaler larger than the one he normally carried fell out onto the bed, “This is called Flovent, it’s a long acting anti-inflammatory medication. This should improve my peak flow.”

“Oh,” Brian nodded frowning, “It sure looks like you have to do a lot of stuff Nick.”

Nick rolled his eyes, “It takes all of 10 minutes to do all of this stuff.. And that’s while I’m packing and getting dressed!” He shook the inhaler about five or six times before uncapping it.

“But you don’t do this every morning...”

“Brian, the weather sucks okay. You know I don’t handle well with all the traveling and weather changes and stuff,” Nick was grumbling, he had dropped the cap to his inhaler on the floor and it had rolled under the bed.

Brian frowned as he remembered all too well... He looked at Nick who was scowling and leaning over the bedside to look under it. He rose suddenly face flushed at the sudden rush of blood to his head and uttered some word that his mother wouldn’t approve of before resuming his search... Seeing his face... Brian rubbed his eyes, he remembered how pale he had been, how his skin was beginning to turn blue around the lips...the large discolored bags under his eyes. Brian swallowed and shook his head of those memories. He reached out and caught Nick’s shirt as he was sliding off the bed, and pulled him back up, “Found it.” Nick tossed the cap back onto the bed he looked at Brian his delight at finding his missing object fading at Brian’s tearful expression, “Oh no Brian, you’re not gonna be like AJ and squeeze me are you?” He was already inching away, ready to fall off the bed again. Brian just shook his head, “No, just...come here. I won’t squeeze I promise.”

Nick’s mouth twitched a bit in disbelief but not being able to bear the pained look in his best friend’s eyes made him come closer, and he braced himself in expectation of crushing arms closing in around him. He grunted a bit as Brian hugged him tight, rubbing his back and ruffling the hair he had just spent a whole 5 seconds combing! Brian let him go after a minute, still gazing at him in that pained way, but not as intense as before. Nick went back to his business. Brian got off the bed and began to gather his stuff too. There was a firm knock on the door, and Brian answered it, “Nick, Brian, you got 5 minutes to be downstairs,” Rhonda was standing in their doorway, “Hurry guys, everyone else is ready!”

“Do I have enough time to brush my teeth?” Nick asked standing and taking two deep breaths then pushing the canisters down on his inhaler. Rhonda blinked and watched him inhale for a few seconds, then hold his breath. When he was quite through Rhonda tapped her toe, “Didn’t you brush your teeth earlier?”

“I gotta do it again after using this thing,” Nick said quickly recapping the inhaler and tucking it back into its pouch, then dashing into the bathroom. She heard the water running, “Four minutes! You boys are always the last ones downstairs, you’re slower than the girls!”

Brian made a monkey face at her and stuffed the last of his personal items in his bag, he’d worry about zipping it up on the bus, as of now even Heracles couldn’t achieve the task. “Nickolas!”

“I’m gargling!”

“Nick-o.. Get your stuff let’s go,” Rhonda was already grabbing Nick’s duffel bag, and small pouch and then swinging it to him. Nick caught it in the stomach and let out a little groan. He held his toothbrush and mini Listerine in his left hand and he tried to reopen his bag.

“No time.. You’d need the jaws of life to get that thing open again anyway!” Rhonda grabbed his arm and pushed him out the door. Brian followed behind them. Two bodyguards awaited them at the end of the hall, “I swear I’m gonna start telling you two that you’re supposed to be downstairs a full hour earlier than you’re supposed to be!”

“Woah..” Nick said with a smile.

“Oh shut up Frack,” Brian couldn’t help but smile and cuff Nick around the neck. He kept his hand there until they reached the elevator, “You are such a dumbass.”

“That’s my word...” Nick sulked.

“Well I..”

“Boys,” Rhonda said sounding rather testy.

“Yes Momma.”

Almost there, almost there... Justin Timberlake held one hand over his right eye, the contact threatening to come out in his hand as he quickly made his way to the dressing room. Ok, if I were a bottle of Bausche and Lomb contact solution WHERE WOULD I BE? He felt like his eye was going to come out along with his contact, damn Lance and his stupid shedding. Where did I...”AAaah!” he tripped over a large object and landed face first on his gym bag. He’d found it.

“Timberlake, do I look transparent to you?” Nick Carter snapped at Justin as Justin was struggling to untangle himself from the ocean of duffle and gym bags on the floor. He lifted his own and found his contact solution inside. He quickly popped out his right contact and filled his hand with solution. He cleansed his contact out thoroughly before attempting to put it back in his eye.. Damn it, the contact slipped through his fingers... he would never get used to the stupid things. Damned astigmatism! He’d just had an eye exam recently and lo and behold... Justin, you need glasses! Justin Timberlake in glasses, hell no. Oh no.. He searched the thin hard carpet for his contact... figures that they would be clear! He imagined how dirty the contact would be when he finally unearthed it. He paused, Nick Carter being quiet, this was a first. He looked over at Nick through his one good eye, clenching the other eyes shut, the show wasn’t even half over and he could not have a migraine. Nick looked to be searching for something in his bag. His face looked calm, a forced calm, though. He was breathing kind of hard, uneven kind of, and every few seconds he would cough. He stopped his search and shut his eyes like he was trying to remember something, “Nick, are you ok?”

Nick looked at Justin for the first time in a while and blinked then shook his head “no.”

“What’s wrong? What are you looking for?” Justin abandoned his hunt and crawled the short distance to Nick’s side, “Are you having an asthma attack?”

Nick grinned, “Score one for the genius,” he swallowed hard and exhaled slowly, “I can’t find my rescue inhaler. I put it in my bag,”

“Here, let me look,” Justin took Nick’s bag, feeling his hands beginning to shake, dear God... someone was having an asthma attack right in front of him. Don’t pass out.. He pleaded in his mind as he carefully, but quickly, began to venture through every compartment in Nick’s bag that existed.

“You sure you can see, Cyclops?” Nick snickered then wheezed and shut up, apologizing silently for poking fun at people. He’d never do it again, honest!

“It’s not in here Nick. Where else?”

“It’s gotta be in the bag.. I mean I didn’t have it...” Nick stopped to think, “Um...”

“Think, think, THINK!”

“Justin, calm down... I’m the one that can’t breathe...remember?” Nick said bringing his knees to his chest and lying his head down, “Ok... Um... My jacket!”

“Your jacket?”

“Yeah my stage jacket for the first sets... I took it with me...” Nick was trying to stand, and Justin pushed him back down, “You idiot, you wait there, I’ll get it. What’s your jacket look like?”

“It’s on the chair, the black one with the silver things on it.. Not that one, that one. Yeah, check the pockets,” Nick watched Justin lifting jacket after jacket and showing it to him when he finally came to the right one Nick pointed and nodded. Justin checked both pockets sighing in relief as he came up with Nick’s inhaler. He jogged back to him and handed it over. Nick took it with a smile of gratitude before shaking it vigorously and uncapping it. Justin slid down beside Nick and leaned his head on the wall. He heard the soft puffing noise that Nick’s inhaler made and sighed. After a minute he brought his head back to normal level, “Do you need some too, Timberlake?” Nick chuckled.

“Ha, ha,” Justin said flatly, “Are you ok now?”

Nick nodded, “Fine. Thanks.”

“I’ll.. Go get Brian or Kevin or somebody...”

“No!” Justin was shocked at Nick’s outburst, he grabbed Justin by the arm, “Don’t get them. Don’t tell them anything!”

“Huh? But Nick don’t they need to know...”

“They don’t NEED to know anything. It’s my problem. They hear about this and they’ll never let me out of their sight again!” Nick cringed at the thought.

“Well, maybe you do need someone with you. I mean what would have happened if I weren’t here just now?” Justin was removing Nick’s hand from his arm, his grip had been strong and rather painful.

“I was doing just fine, and I would have done just fine without you!”

“Bullshit!”

“What the hell do you think I do when I’m at home huh, Justin? No one lives with me... I can’t go running to call my Mommy or my big brothers,” he said “big brothers” in a rather nasty tone, “whenever I’m having a little asthma attack!”

“That was little?!” Justin questioned, it had scared the hell out of him, and he sure didn’t want to see a “big” attack.

Nick nodded, “Yeah... I had it under control. I know when I’m in trouble and how to get help. I know what to do in bad situations, but no one will ever trust me to do it.”

Justin frowned, “Why not?”

“Oh, you ask why not... You just convinced yourself that I was dying on the floor here a few minutes ago, you answer that question! Everyone treats me like I’m made a freakin’ glass!” Nick was pulling at his hair, “We can’t say that around Nicky... we can’t do this in front of Nicky.. Nicky stay back. DAMN IT I’M NOT GONNA BREAK!” Nick shouted the last part balling his hands into fist and kicking the ground angrily, he calmed a bit after having got that out, “That felt good.”

Justin grinned at him, “You sound like you have something you need to tell your friends..”

“Huh? No, I can’t tell them that. It would... it would hurt their feelings...” Nick ran a hand through his hair, his face sober, “They think they’re doing what’s best for me.”

“But Nick...”

“You don’t understand Justin, you weren’t there,” Nick looked away. When he said “there” Justin knew, he knew he was talking about the basement. He was remembering what had happened to them.

“What happened Nick?” Justin tried to move closer to him. Maybe he could break him. Maybe he’d be the one to find out what happened in the basement. Maybe he could help, “Nick, if you wanna talk...”

“I talk enough. I do enough talking to my shrink, to the guys, to my parents... It was, it was bad Justin, ok? I don’t wanna talk about it. And if it makes the guys feel better to take care of me, and...and... It’s fine,” Nick said softly, “I don’t even care.”

“Yes, you do,” Justin said, “You and me, are kinda the same.”

Nick snorted.

“No, we’re both the youngest in our groups.... and,” Justin was trying to catch Nick’s eyes, “and everyone is having a hard time dealing with the fact that we’re grown up now. They still think they gotta take care of us like they did when we were kids. They’ll never see us as being any older than 16, and WE are the only people who can change that. Who can open their eyes and point at the calendar. You’re 21, remind them of that.”

“I can’t.”

“Nick..”

“It hurts Justin, it will hurt them. They’ll think that I don’t.. That I’m telling them that I don’t need them, I don’t want them... And they came so close to losing me Justin, they were so scared. I can’t do it to them,” Nick was shaking his head, “I won’t.”

Justin blinked and stared at Nick, “Losing you?”

Nick rested a hand over his face and let out a shaky breath, “Yeah, losing me Justin. I came so close to dying... I can’t even remember what all happened. But they can, and... I guess they feel that they failed me there, and now they have to make up for it. They love me...”

“And they’re smothering you,” Justin said in a voice barely above a whisper, he stared at Nick Carter. The guy that had always been his rival... He remembered the old Nick, the healthy blond whose eyes were always clear as day and whose face never showed any signs of unhappiness. The new Nick was paler, blonder, and much thinner, with troubled clouded eyes, and a face that always carried an underlying suspicion. Those few weeks of hell and torment had changed him, cleansed him of his innocence and replaced it with fear, confusion, and inner turmoil. He still acted like Nick on the outside, he was still cheerful and bouncy... and had still retained some of that on the inside, but inside Nick Carter had also grown up. “If they love you then they’ll understand...”

“Expecting understanding and hurting someone, people you care about, can be the same thing Justin,” Nick said somberly. His darkened eyes looked past Justin, to the wall clock, “I gotta go find the others now. We have stage call...”

Justin nodded bleakly and sadly watch Nick go rather swiftly without looking back, “Who’s treating who like they’re made of glass now Nick?”

Chapter 15

“Now smile,” the photographer said right before the flash of her camera went off, “Hmm.. No these shots just are not working. Kevin, unbutton the shirt more.”

“Why don’t I just take the damn thing off?” Kevin muttered under his breath.

“Ok, and you can take 15,” The photographer said waving them away.

“Good,” Kevin said.

“Oh come on Kev, at least she liked ya,” AJ teased, “Take it off, take it off!”

“Shut up!” Kevin grabbed AJ around his neck and pretended to choke him.

“Kevin, could you come here please,” the photographer called suddenly.

“Oh Kev, she wants ya baby,” AJ cooed from Kevin’s choke hold. Kevin scowled and rolled his eyes, then put on a smile as he turned back to the photographer to see what she wanted.

Brian and Nick snickered as they watched Kevin trudge back to Sheila, “I wonder what Mom’s gonna say about this,” Nick said.

“Who’s gonna tell her?” Brian questioned, and pushed Nick when he saw his evil smile, “Kevin better not ever cheat with you around!”

“So you’re saying that if I wasn’t here, Kev could make goo goo eyes with the photographer all he wanted?” Nick smiled slyly, “I’m writing all this stuff down.. I know you’re getting ready to call Leighanne.”

Brian made a horrible face at him, “Go away!” He gave Nick another playful shove, and just as Nick predicted, pulled out his cell phone and began to dial in his home phone number.

“Oh, Brian, I think you’re a minute late in calling her, bud,” Nick cackled only moving a few feet away from Brian.

“Are you just going to stand there and molest me? Can’t you go bother AJ, or Howie...”

Nick made a horrendous face when Brian mentioned Howie, “There is no way in Hades I’m gonna hang out with Sour D!” He marched off, but not too far, Brian could still see him in his peripheral vision. Monica had taken his attention off of Brian, temporarily, Frack would return to terrorize him as soon as she left. He grinned, he didn’t mind, he just sometimes pretended like he did.

“Hello?”

“Hey hon,” Brian answered his wife’s “hello?”

“Brian! Hey sweetheart, how are you?”

“Tired,” Brian answered truthfully. He had forgotten just how stressful a tour in itself could be. He forgot about all the missed hours of sleep just because of the impossible hours they had to keep, not to mention the hours of sleeplessness he got just from... thinking too much.

“Poor baby, I bet you can’t wait to get home,” Leighanne cooed.

“Yeah...” Brian sighed, realizing just how much he missed being with his wife. So loving and supporting... she helped him through the hours when his eyes couldn’t close without seeing horrible images of guns and blood.

“How are the others?” Leighanne questioned, “Is Nick doing ok?”

“Yeah, yeah he’s fine,” Brian smiled a little. His youngest brother, the one everyone worried so much about. Leighanne had called and actually spoken to him more than she spoke to Brian the first week of tour, same with Kristen. Brian didn’t know what Nick’s secret was, but he’d pay him to share.

“How about AJ? He teaching you how to cook yet?”

“No, but I’m getting fat off his good cooking... but don’t worry once I get home I’ll lose the weight again...” Brian chuckled into the phone, knowing Leighanne would get what he was getting at.

“Brian Thomas Littrell are you insulting my cooking?!” Leighanne said, “I watched MTV...”

“Uh-oh...”

“Yeah...” Leighanne said, “I heard what you said about me, and what you and Nick have been doing on tour. Brian, you ought to be ashamed. I have to tell people you’re my husband!” She was laughing, “I swear Brian, I don’t need to have kids, I’m doing more than enough raising you, and your brothers!”

Brian grinned, “Hal might not take too kindly to you saying...”

“You know what brothers I mean Mr. Littrell,” Leighanne purred.

“Yeah I do... Mrs. Littrell,” he liked the way that sounded. He felt like saying it again and again, but someone might look at him oddly, not to mention Leighanne might hang up.

“I can’t wait for you to get home baby,” Leighanne said, “There are so many things we need to catch up on...”

Brian was beginning to grin, he knew what he wanted to catch up on... He blinked, and rubbed his eyes. A flash of red caught his eye. He threw a curious glance in the direction, red hair... Not Rhonda’s, Rhonda’s hair was more of an orange color, that hair was as red as rust... as red as blood. Suddenly his gaze was no longer curious but hawkish, who the hell was that? None of the photographers or assistants he had seen so far had hair like that... wild red hair. He took a few steps in that direction, the person had faded from his sight. He shook his head, maybe he had been seeing things. “Brian?”

“Huh...oh yeah, sorry, some one just asked me something,” Brian covered for his lack of attention, he kept his eyes peeled for the strange person. He had to be some kind of photographers’ assistant, it had to be. Why was he being so silly? He was overreacting again. A face from his memories reconstructed itself in his head, wild flaming red hair, feral green eyes...cruel yet handsome features... Brendon. Every time he saw a young man that sort of fit that description his mind transformed that person into Brendon. He always had to look twice. What had Dr. Collins said?- Calm down and access the situation. Brendon was dead. That is not Brendon.

“Brian? Where are you?”

“A photo shoot,” Brian said nervously, he saw him again... green eyes, he was sure the man had green eyes. The nose, the chin.... No, no, look twice Brian. Brendon is dead, dead, DEAD! The person walked away from Brian’s line of vision again.

“Oh are you guys wearing the clothes that you like this time?” Leighanne questioned, giggling about the leather outfits they had worn when she had last opened a magazine and saw a recent picture of them.

“Um.. Not much better...” Brian was walking even closer to where he had saw the person.. The man... the red haired, green eyed man that looked so much like... HE’S DEAD Brian! HE’S DEAD! Brendon is dead! But.. But.... Brian watched the red haired man appear again, he was helping the photographer... he was a photographers’ assistant. How silly do you feel now? He asked himself. He felt himself letting out a breath that he hadn’t even known that he was holding. His hand that held the phone shook, and he realized Leighanne was talking to him again, “..ian?”

“Leighanne...? What did you ask again?” Brian asked. He was calming down, he could feel his muscles loosening.

“When is your shoot over?”

“Oh, in a few hours,” Brian said, “Then we’ll be back at the hotel.”

“You should try to get some rest there babe,” Leighanne was saying.

“I can’t rest when I share the room with Nick....” Brian’s eyes were beginning to wander again, and.. And... No... no, he was dead... Was he looking at him? Was he staring? The green eyes seemed to recognize him. He was famous, of course he was recognized, he tried to calm himself.. No, no.. He was being recognized in a different way. Look at his eyes... no, no, not his eyes, not HIS eyes! HE’S DEAD! You saw him shot, you saw him fall, you saw him bleed.... You saw Ariella.... NO! He squeezed his eyes shut tight and gripped the phone, he heard Leighanne’s voice chattering away with him, as if he were still on the phone with her, as if he were still listening... No.. No he was in that dreary living room... He saw Ariella pull the trigger, he saw the blood. He saw the blood splatter on Ariella and on Howie. More on Howie, less on Ariella. Howie cried out like he had been shot. For one terrible moment Brian had thought he had been. Brian had screamed too. Brendon was dead. BRENDON WAS DEAD... He had to be. Brian ripped his eyes away from the man and his eyes desperately searched the sets, Kevin, Howie, AJ... Nick? Where was Nick? Brian couldn’t see him anymore, at all... He turned his head where Nick had been and saw no one. “Nick!” Brian called.

“Brian!” a small voice was yelling at him, it was then that Brian realized that he was still holding his cell phone, “Leigh... Leigh baby, I gotta call you back.” Brian didn’t even wait for a goodbye before he hung up, “NICK!” Brian was running, he charged past a group of bodyguards that looked at him curiously, he nearly ran over Jeff Timmons in his panic.

“Woa, woa, Bri. Why are you in such a hurry? What are you guys up to?” He suddenly looked suspicious, “I saw those pictures of what ya’ll did to poor Joey.”

“Nothing man, nothing. Have you seen Nick? My Nick?” Brian almost gripped Jeff’s arms and shook him. Jeff stared at him, his jovial demeanor fading as he saw the look in Brian’s eyes. Something was wrong, “Brian what’s wrong? Nick’s fine, he’s in the dressing room with Monica, Justin, and Britney. Is something going on?”

Brian didn’t know how to answer.. He saw a dead guy... He saw a dead guy, a guy he saw killed... How do you explain that to someone who wasn’t there? He saw the dead guy that had tried to kill him and his brothers, and now Nicky was missing. He had gone where Brian couldn’t keep an eye on him! He wasn’t supposed to do that! He had to be with someone at all times! Brian thanked Jeff and ran to the dressing room nearly knocking over two managers and not stopping to apologize. He burst into the dressing room to see Justin, Britney, Monica, and Nick lounging in front of a small TV sipping on juice boxes. “Nick!” Brian exclaimed.

“Brian!” Nick exclaimed back with the same intensity and laughed, until he noticed the dark expression on Brian’s face, “Frick, what’s up?”

“You didn’t tell me where you were going?” Brian accused, approaching Nick angrily, “You just left, I thought something had happened to you!”

Nick blinked, “Brian, I just ducked into the dressing room. It wasn’t like I left the building, and it wasn’t like I was alone. What’s wrong?”

“I couldn’t see you anymore!”

“Well yeah, unless you developed x-ray vision over the past few minutes I doubt you’d be able to see me,” Nick said frowning, “You were on the phone. Chill, B.”

“No,” Brian grabbed Nick roughly by the arm, “You know better than that! What if, what if someone had taken you?!”

“Brian, where is this coming from?...” Nick was beginning, but Justin interrupted, “Hey Brian, cool it, this place is crawling with security! No one who isn’t supposed to be here is getting in. And no one would let any of us just leave, no cause to get upset. Besides, Nick’s a big boy...”

“Shut up! You don’t know anything! Our bus last year was crawling with security! We were the safest damn people in the world.. YEAH RIGHT!” Brian gave Nick another rough tug, “Don’t you ever do that to me again, you hear me?!”

“Brian, calm down,” Monica was saying eyes wide, she slowly advanced to the situation, trying to take Brian’s arm that was gripping Nick’s and ease it away, “Everyone’s ok. We didn’t know that you would get so upset if we left. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have suggested it.”

“You shouldn’t have!” Brian glared at her. Monica’s mouth dropped open as she stared at Brian’s hateful expression, What had happened? Brian was so sweet...

“B... what happened? What’s wrong?” Nick was not trying to struggle away from Brian, and he was not angry for the childish treatment, he stared at Brian earnestly, very concerned, “B?”

Brian tightened his grip on Nick’s arm, looking deep into his blue eyes.. So dull and lifeless... He blinked and shook his head, no... He looked into Nick’s blue eyes that burned in their intensity and concern, “Bri?”

“Oh Nick!” Brian released Nick’s arm, and let out a small cry when he saw the red marks his harsh grip had left on Nick’s arm, “Oh God... I’m so sorry. I don’t.. I...”

Nick frowned, then looked to Justin, Britney, and Monica, “Um.. Could you guys...?”

“Yeah, yeah of course man,” Justin said quickly, he, Britney, and Monica all ducked out of the dressing room leaving Nick and Brian to themselves to talk.

“What’s going on B-Rok? Why’d you single me out like that?” Nick took Brian’s arm firmly and led him to the couch he had just been sitting on.

Brian blinked, “Single you out? You’re angry cause I was worried about you?”

Nick made a face, “I moved 5 feet from the corner inside a room.”

“I just didn’t see you leave Nick. I just looked up and you were gone,” Brian said in a low voice, “It freaked me out.”

“Why? What happened? Why did you panic like that?” Nick looked intense, Brian couldn’t distinguish his concern from the clear agitation in his voice.

“Are you upset with me?” Brian asked instead staring at Nick’s expression of exasperation.

“What?- You’re changing the subject! I asked you what happened?”

“And I asked you if you were upset with me? Why would you be upset with me? You of all people know what it means to look up and not be able to...”

“Did you see Howie, or AJ, or Kevin?” Nick demanded dropping his earlier determination to drill Brian, “Were they right in front of ya?”

Brian blinked.

“No... no.. Instead you panic cause you don’t see me, the baby,” Nick snapped, “I can take care of myself as well as the rest of you!”

“Nick, God, is that how you think?” Brian blinked, “You think I don’t know that you can care for yourself? Are you telling me you think it’s wrong for me to care for you, to be protective of you...?”

“You’re too damn protective, all of you are!” Nick snapped, “No one approaches me alone anymore, they’re too afraid of you. Why Brian? If you know I can take care of myself, why do you smother me? Why must I report to you guys like you’re my parole officers?”

“You don’t have to report to me. It’s just nice to know where you are and where you going to be in case we need to find you!” Brian exclaimed, “What if something was wrong and we needed to tell you something and you were just gone? What if you were in trouble, and we couldn’t come help you cause we didn’t know where you were and who you were with?”

“Brian I’m not DOING things like that!” Nick yelled, “If I was I can see why you guys might follow me around.. But I don’t! If I had left the building I would have told you so! You guys aren’t doing this cause you’re just scared I’ll get in trouble, you think I’m weak!”

“Nick...”

“No,” said Nick shaking his head, “You think I’m weak Brian. You all think I can’t fend for myself so you’ve all made yourselves like my personal body guards or something. Well news flash we have people that we are paying to do that job!”

“Nick...”

“No! It’s driving me crazy! It’s driving me insane! I will not break! I am not made of glass!” Nick’s face was flushed with energy, he had jumped up from the couch and stood before Brian making dramatic hand gestures and beginning to pace.

“I know you’re not made of glass Nicky... Nick would you sit down, you’re going to work yourself into an attack...”

“And there we go! Brian, I am perfectly in control of my asthma, ok? I know what to do,” Nick was tugging at his hair, “I’m not gonna drop dead somewhere!”

Brian paled, and then angered, “Sit the hell down. Sit down and stop talking crazy. What I do, what we all do for you, is for your own good kid.”

“I’m not a kid!”

“You’re acting like one!”

“And you’re acting like a babysitter! I should have just asked my mom to come with me on tour!” Nick was practically trembling, vibrating with his frustration, “What can I do to make you guys treat me as an equal..? What can I do to keep you from shielding me away from problems..? What can I do to...to make you guys trust me?”

“We trust you...”

“Not enough to make my own decisions and to choose my own friends...” Nick muttered, he wrung his hands together and his eyes flashing wildly, “Justin was right you know. He said...”

“Justin? Timberlake? I knew it! I knew someone instigated this!”

“No one instigated anything Brian, it’s about time this came out... I was gonna explode!” Nick plopped back down on the couch beside Brian, seemingly exhausted by his previous emotional exerts, “Brian, I am 21 years old. I am as much of an adult as you are now, and I’ve gotta live my life. You can’t always be there for me, and I’m trying to learn what I can do for myself, and you guys aren’t letting me. I know what’s happened, I know why you’re scared... I know I scared you a lot, and you want to try and keep me safe, to protect yourself from feeling that fear again. I’m sorry Brian, I am sorry for hurting you, for scaring you...”

“Nick you didn’t hurt nor scare me, those monsters did,” Brian said his face twisting into a sneer, he gazed at Nick, taking in the torment printed on Nick’s face. He felt his heart constricting for Nick’s torment was the same that Brian felt inside... He was correct.. Brian never did want to feel that kind of fear again.. The fear of losing someone close to you, being right there, and not being able to do a damn thing about it. Nick had almost died in his arms.... He had held him, felt his body shuddering weakly, felt his hesitant breaths... “Dammit Nick you could have died in my arms... I..was just there... I couldn’t help.”

“But I didn’t die Rok... you guys did help me. You got me out,” Nick said softly, “You got me out before it was too late, if you’d hesitated any longer, I may have died. You did save me. You shouldn’t be beating yourself up...”

Brian shook his head, “You nearly died in my arms Nicky, I dream about that. I don’t care what I try to do, that dream, the memories will never fade, and whenever I look at you... God! I just praise God that you’re here with me, with us. Sometimes I just want to take you and just pinch you and hold you to make sure you’re really here, but mostly I just want to protect you.”

Nick’s face was wet, a few tears had leaked from his eyes, “I love you too Brian... and how do you think I feel about you guys... When I was outside and.. And you guys were still in there. And we could hear the guns, and..and...” Nick put his hands to his ears... The noises of the voices screaming, the fans screaming, cameras flashing, AJ’s mother... relax....relax... He felt hands over his hands. They slowly brought his hands down, and Nick opened his eyes to view his best friend who was biting his lip tears streaming down his face as well, “We all want to protect each other.”

Nick nodded in agreement, “But we’re smothering each other.”

Brian grinned, “Yeah Frack...I guess so. But I... we.. Can’t help it. Nick, we’ve got a long way to go before we’re...”

“Normal again?” Nick blinked wiping his eyes.

“Yeah, if we’ll ever be that,” Brian said now solemn, “Nick, I have a feeling we’ll always be different from how we were. And Nicky, I’m always gonna look out for you. I... I just hate not knowing where you are, I panic so much, Nicky... More than when Kevin, or Howie, or AJ are out of sight.”

“Cause of what could have happened to me?”

Brian sniffled and shook his head, “Not just that...”

“What then?” Nick wiped his nose hastily on his sleeve, “What Brian? Dammit! It’s cause you think I’m weak... I have a few problems yes, but I can handle them. Brian, I’m not handicapped!” He was starting to flush again, he was getting angry all over again, “Brian please...I’m not...”

“It’s not that Nicky, calm down,” Brian said gently tugging on Nick’s shirt to keep him in his seat, “It’s not that.. I don’t think you’re weak. I worry about you yes, but I don’t think you’re weak or handicapped.”

“Then what is it B?” Nick took his hands, he squeezed them tightly, “What is it?”

Brian stared at Nick silently and shook his head, “You’d only think I was insane.”

Nick laughed then, laughed in a cynical way, “Brian, you really think I have the right to deem anyone else insane? If anyone has been labeled crazy, it’s me.”

Brian blinked away new tears as he continued to hold gazes with Nick, “Nick, you’re not crazy.”

Nick smiled, “Sure I’m not... Can’t control my own memories Brian. I have large gaps...synapses if you will, in my life where I just lose it.. I’m not there, where I don’t know what has happened, what has been said, or where I am... Lost time, Brian... And you know what,” Nick looked away, “There’s a chance that I may not get better... Maybe I’ll keep having these episodes where I leave reality, until one day I won’t come back Brian. Something inside me will decide it wants to stay.. And I’ll be forever lost.”

Brian put an arm around him and pulled him close, “You will never be lost with me around Nicky, me and Kevin, and Howie, and AJ, we’ll never lose you or let you lose yourself.”

“Add it up Brian,” Nick said in a slow voice, “Every time I leave, if you don’t catch me in time, I’m gone for longer and longer... The lost time can eventually add up to years... Years of my life lost Brian. If you can protect me from that...”

“You’ve been talking to Dr. Gaines again haven’t you?” Brian questioned rubbing his back.

Nick nodded, “He called a few days ago. We had a talk. He, um, wants to change my prescription.” Nick scratched his head, “Looks like it’s not as temporary as we thought.”

“God Nicky,” Brian sighed, then firmly gripped Nick’s shoulders, “There was this dream... a dream that I had while I was down there. When it was just me and Howie and Kevin and AJ, and AJ was real sick... I..I kinda left reality too. I scared the others really badly... but I had this dream that I was in this dark place... in front of me was this wall of black stone. And Nick I was all alone, but I didn’t get scared...”

“Black stone?” Nick’s face was paling.

“I wasn’t scared til I heard you... I heard you scream for me, and for the others... and when I yelled back.. You kept yelling, it was like you couldn’t hear me... Nick I couldn’t find you, but I knew I had to get to you.. You were in danger, you were scared.. But I couldn’t find you, couldn’t see you...”

“I heard you Brian..” Nick whispered.

“I think that’s why I have such a problem with you just disappearing. I think it’s.. What?”

“You said it was like I couldn’t hear you, I heard you,” Nick looked away from Brian, “I didn’t yell until I heard you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The dream... Black stone walls... it was a maze and the sky was blood red, cold and dark...and it snowed.”

Brian was nodding, “But I wasn’t in a maze, I was outside of stone walls... the maze’s stone walls...Oh God, Nicky, what do you think it means?”

Nick shrugged, “Dr. Gaines says it’s my insecurities.”

“Dr. Collins says it’s my anxieties,” Brian smirked. He punched Nick in the knee, “Aren’t we the perfect pair?”

Nick looked up at Brian with a weak grin, “Yeah, maybe they’ll lock us away in the same room. Then we can keep each other company.”

“You bring the cards?”

“If you bring the dominoes,” Nick and Brian grinned at each other and hugged. Brian pulled away slowly and watched as Nick sat back, his smile fading a bit, “So what got you so riled up Bri?”

“Huh?”

“When you bound in here and scared away MoMo, JuJu, and Brit... they think you’re nuts now, by the way,” Nick winked, “Wanna juice?”

Brian snickered and ruffled Nick’s hair, “No I don’t wanna juice Frack.” He pet his head and leaned him closer, and sighed, “I just thought I saw someone...”

“You blew in here like a bat out of hell... or like Joey Fatone when he discovered those very realistic rubber roaches in his suitcase,” Nick chuckled recalling the event and Joey’s horrified reaction.

Brian was shaking his head, “I saw a man out there, a photographer’s assistant or something with this flaming red hair and bright green eyes...” he shuddered, “And it looked as if he were studying me. I just felt like he recognized me in some way, not as a star, but.. I don’t know Nick. But it freaked me out... I thought he was.. Was him, Brendon. But Brendon’s dead, I saw him die Nick.”

Nick was silent, for a moment, “Every time I see a man or woman with that red hair...”

Brian nodded, “I overreacted badly.. And I’m sorry for embarrassing you.”

“You embarrassed yourself more than you embarrassed me, Frick,” Nick said with a light laugh. Brian blushed, “I guess I did... but I was so scared Nick. My mind just told me, my instinct, my gut ones, just kicked in. It said... Danger... and I looked over to where you were.. And you were gone... Suddenly I saw that stone wall again Nicky, and I couldn’t find you.”

“Well Brian, you know I wear a pager twenty-four- seven, the parental units are getting to be a pain in the ass. You can page me and I’ll call ya right back if I’ve strayed too far from sight and you get antsy. That’ll save you and me a lot of embarrassment. Or if I’m close enough I could just come and find ya. We can work out a special code, just for you... and hey. You could get a pager too. That way I could just page you back and let you know I’m ok, with my own special code. Would that be ok, Bri?” Nick was already removing his pager from his belt loop ready to program a new code.

Brian smirked, “Getting to be quite the brainiac aren’t we Kaos?”

“I’ve been catching up on my Sesame Street...” suddenly he gasped, outrage written cleanly across his features, “Do you know they had the nerve to change Big Bird’s voice?”

Brian laughed, “You’re too much!”

“No, I’m serious, they did!” Nick was pouting, “I swear no one takes me seriously around here.”

“Ok... um... I seem to be missing a few people,” Sheila frowned as she looked into her camera window and only saw three Backstreet Boys, “Where are the blond ones?”

“Last I saw of them they were throwing cheetos at each other in the dressing room,” Howie said with a shrug, “I could go get them.”

Sheila groaned and motioned for Howie to go on and fetch her missing subjects, she’d said take 15 not the day! Sheila, Kevin, and AJ waited, and waited, and waited for Howie’s return...

Kevin frowned, “This isn’t like Howie.”

“Maybe Riff and Raff ate him,” AJ suggested with a small grin.

Kevin did not look amused, “I’m going to find them.”

“I’ll come with..”

“No...!” Sheila attempted to protest.. Great, she’d just lost her clients. They weren’t coming back anytime soon, she knew. She sighed and supposed she should take 15... or the day. She sat down on the chair beside her camera. And here she thought her assignment would be easy. Taking pictures of five full grown men... five unbelievably attractive full grown men, but men nether-the-less! The children she photographed had more patience and better behavior than them. She blew a piece of hair from her face and started as she felt something being placed into her limp hand. It had been dangling uselessly at her side, she wanted a smoke. “Thank you hon,” she smiled up into the face of a handsome young man. His deep red hair shone and his green eyes sparkled, he smiled politely, “You’re welcome. Those guys you taking pictures of one of those boy bands?”

Sheila smiled, “None other than the Backstreet Boys... and don’t tell anyone here, but I think they’re the best I’ve had to work with in a while.. If only I could get them to stay in one place!”

The red haired man smiled, “I bet it’s challenging, but not impossible.” He laughed more to himself than with Sheila, “I’ll see you around.”

“Good bye, oh wait, I didn’t quite catch... your name,” he was gone, Sheila thought to her dismay, much like her clients... oh well, he’d had a cute butt.. And those eyes she would remember for an eternity.

“Stop it! You’re messing up my shirt!” Howie was yelling as he was being pelted with cheetos. Nick and Brian had ambushed him. His only defense was to jump behind the TV.

“Guys, what the hell?” a cheeto smacked Kevin in the nose. Kevin gazed around the cheeto littered dressing room, “Must you wreak havoc everywhere we go?”

Nick and Brian nodded quite earnestly before letting the cheetos fly again, this time striking AJ, who was quick to retaliate and throw himself on the ground to horde the loose cheetos. He hurled them back hitting Nick in the chest, “OOOH!” Nick cried out falling to the floor on a bed of cheetos dramatically, “I’ve been hit!”

“Nick your clothes! We’re at a photo shoot!” Kevin was trying not to pull his hair out, “STOP IT!”

“You’ll never take me alive!” Brian was yelling dodging AJ’s barrage of cheetos. Nick continued to convulse on his cheeto grave.

“Who gave them that bag of cheetos?” Kevin was grumbling, feeling a cheeto bounce off his jacket. He took a step back only to run into a solid body, he whirled around, “Johnny!”

“What the hell is going on in here?” A cheeto popped Johnny in the eye.

“Oops!” the cheetos immediately stopped flying at the sight of a manager with artificial cheese powder dotting the side of his face.

“We’ll clean it up,” Brian said sheepishly.

Nick rolled over on his cheeto bed ruining what was left of his costume... Why white? Why did it have to be white? “Brian started it.”

“I did not you little fart,” Brian pushed Nick’s face down into his cheeto bed, and let him up.

Johnny stood shaking his head, “Get up...You’re going to clean up this mess... but I don’t know how you’re going to clean yourselves up,” he looked especially at Nick who was orange as Chester Cheetah himself.

“Boys, Sheila is getting very OOOOOOH MY GOODNESS!” Rhonda’s eyes were wide as she pushed past Johnny into the dressing room, “What tornado ripped through here?”

“Riff and Raff,” Howie uttered, “Don’t look at me. I just walked in and was attacked by the commandos.”

“Look at you all.. Nicky...” Rhonda was gawking, “You’re all orange... how are you supposed to finish your pictures? We don’t have time for you to shower, and you’ll have to change clothes...”

“I told them to clean up this mess first.. I think they can wash up...”

“Johnny Wright,” Rhonda suddenly snapped,

“Yes Rhonda, what?”

“Who is the manager of the Backstreet Boys and who is not?”

Johnny gapped, “I was just trying to...”

“I can handle the situation on my own thank you, now good day,” she saw him out. Then she came back to see her Boys smirking at her, Kevin clapped, “Whoo, go Rhonda.”

Rhonda made a face at him, at all of them, “You Boys have really made a mess... You’d think you were brought up in a barn..”

“Kevin and Brian were brought up in Kentucky, close enough,” Nick cracked, Brian grabbed his neck in a playful matter laughing when Nick squirmed. He was so ticklish.

“Hmmm..” Rhonda was rubbing her chin accessing the situation, “hmmm,” she said again sounding more thoughtful, “Hold on one sec Boys. Just stay here, don’t move, don’t clean.”

Minutes later Rhonda and Sheila appeared, Sheila holding a smaller professional hand held camera. She whistled when she saw the mess then grinned at the images she knew she could create. Now this was her kind of photo shoot.. And she thought she wasn’t going to get any work done today, “All right Boys... you wanna have a cheeto war, at least do it officially.”

The Boys frowned at the two women in the doorway. Sheila and Rhonda entered the room closing the door behind them, “Oh my count three, do whatever you want,” Sheila said in an easy voice, “I’ll just snap a picture wherever I see fit.” She winked, “Cute look Nick.”

Nick beamed, “Make sure you get my left side!”

“I’ll get that backside!” Rhonda snorted, “Clowns!

“Ok, 1, 2, 3!”

AJ, Brian, Nick, Kevin, and Howie all gazed at each other, then grinned. AJ, Kevin and Howie passed a conspiratorial look between them, it was time for revenge. They each bent down collecting mounds of cheetos and rushed at Brian and Nick who stood unsuspecting, “AAAAH!”

The cheeto war was on, and so was the camera.

“I wish I had video tape,” Sheila was laughing as she snapped a picture of Kevin hoisting Nick up into the air and holding him upside down as Howie poured cheetos down his pant legs.

Rhonda grinned, it was working out just fine... Everything was fine.