Snapshots

By:  Carm

 

Walking into the studio, she didn’t look like the fresh face that was to eventually grace billboards and magazine covers. Her hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail, mostly covered by a Detroit Pistons baseball cap. The golden brown, almost blonde, hair that stuck out of the back was straight and hung past her shoulder blades. Her face was free of makeup, just her natural light brown that she woke up to every morning. Her dress wasn’t that of super model status, but normal every day tattered jeans and a cut up t-shirt, barely showing her mid-drift. The soft pattering on the hard wood floor came from scuffed tennis shoes, well over two years old, but comfortable nonetheless. The air was getting cold, even in LA, and she wore a dark blue denim jacket to warm her arms. A bag was slung over her right arm and her left hand held a steaming cup of Starbucks, white chocolate mocha.

 

Nonetheless, beneath the nondescript clothing was a supermodel in training. It was something the young woman had never planned on. She’d come to Los Angeles because she had a friend that lived there and had been tired of wasting her life in the bowels of retail hell at Fairlane Mall. Though, her friend was also in those same bowels, at least they wouldn’t be alone. So, the young woman made her way cross country, traveling by Greyhound to save what little money she had. By the time she got there, she was dirty, tired and totally convinced that she should have stayed in Detroit. When she found herself searching for a job, coming up empty and living off of unemployment, she was really regretting her vow to never work retail again. By the time she’d been noticed, found so to speak, by a passing fashion designer who just happened to have the last name McCartney, she was ready to crawl on her hands and knees to the nearest mall and beg for a job. But, she was saved from hell and taken into a whirlwind of fashion and photography. Audrey Hamilton become the single named seductress, Andara, and her life was different from then on out.

 

So, there she was, making her way into an old studio that looked like it had once been used for dance, waiting to meet the man who would be her personal photographer. She’d spent all week talking to her friend, whom she still shared an apartment with on the outskirts of LA, and was floored that she’d be having her own photographer. She hadn’t been told who he was, just that he’d taken pictures of some of the most beautiful women in the world. She had also been warned that he had an unconventional way of taking pictures. Andara was worried, but she was also excited. She’d never thought herself meant for more than mediocre life since she was eight years old, and at being told she had what it took to be a model... that had floored her. She felt she was living in a dream world, but when she walked into the studio, it was apparent that it was reality.

There weren’t many people there. She had seen photo shoots on television and there had always seemed to be so many more people there. She could pick out five people at the most moving around the large room as she peeked from beneath her Eddie Bauer shades, something that she could only afford with the past few checks she’d gotten from small modeling jobs. Her eyes caught a barefooted man tinkering with a camera. He was facing the opposite direction and from the back, he looked to be relaxed in his worn jeans and white tank top. He wore a plain black baseball cap, backwards, and the light above glittered off of his earrings, two hoops in each ear. Someone made a noise and slowly he turned around. His eyes were like fudge. His lips were thin, formed in an almost straight line, neither smiling nor frowning. Andara’s agent walked up next to her and raised her hand, waving him over. The woman, Natalie Brazen, had been assigned to her by the modeling agency. She was nice enough, though sometimes pushy. Natalie was the one that had gotten Andara to stay around after her first horrifying day in front of the camera. The lights had come on and she froze. The camera clicked and she turned her head. The photographer had been ready to call everything to a halt, saying that a pretty face didn't’ mean she was model material, but Natalie had managed to calm Andara enough to get her to be natural. Once music was put on, she seemed to loosen up and from there on, she looked almost comfortable before the camera.

 

“Alex, babe, this is your newest face.” She touched Andara’s chin and rose her face. “You think you can make her a star?”

 

Alex clutched his chin thoughtfully as he looked at Andara. He removed the cap from her head, then reached around and pulled out her ponytail. He fanned her hair around her shoulders and tilted his head to the side. “Little makeup, some curls-- I think I can work with her.”

 

“Beautiful.” She looked to Andara and smiled. “Alright, hon, I’ve gotta run. Busy busy busy.”

 

“You’re gonna just-- leave me here?” Andara asked, slightly worried. Natalie started to speak, but Alex cut the young, 30 year old, agent off.

 

“Are you afraid of me?”

 

“Huh? Uh... no, I just...”

 

“She gets nervous, Alex, did I tell you that? She’ll freeze right up on ya if you don’t get her started.”

 

“And just how am I supposed to do that?” he asked.

 

“Music does it for her, usually. Just--”

 

“Excuse me,” Andara said, clearing her throat. “I am right here, ya know.”

 

“Oh, posh, just hush. I’m tryin’ to help you out,” Natalie told her.

 

“You could at least tell me his name.”

 

“I already said it. He’s Alex.”

 

“Alex what?”

 

“McLean,” he said, turning to Andara. He had barely looked at her since taking loose her ponytail. “Alex McLean, super photographer for the soon to be stars. And you are?”

 

“Audr--” She stopped as Natalie poked her in the side and sighed. “Andara.”

 

“Ah,” he said, looking to the agent. “Still not used to being someone else?”

 

Natalie shrugged. “She’ll get used to it. Now, you two have fun. I’m gone.”

 

“But--”

 

“I’m gone, Dara. Just be calm.”

 

Before Andara could say anything else, Natalie was gone and she was standing practically alone and face to face with Alex McLean. She held the strap of her bag tightly and rocked back and forth, slightly, on the balls of her feet. He was staring at her and it unnerved her. It wasn’t like when someone admired another person, or a sweeping glance. His eyes were hard on her, as though he was trying to see past her clothes and skin and down to her bones. Alex walked around her, looking her up and down like a side of beef. When he came to stand in front of her again, he said, “Follow me.”

 

Alex turned and walked away. Andara stood for a moment, then moved to follow him. When they stopped, they were behind a partition where a vanity was set up. A few feet away stood a rack of clothes. A man stood beside the vanity, setting out curling irons and other equipment. A blonde woman stood with the clothes, leafing through, counting to make sure everything was there. Alex began to talk and they stopped moving. “This is--” he looked to her and she said, “Andara.” He turned back to the others. “Andara. Your job is to transform her. Mine is to shoot her. Let’s all get to work. We’ve got a very busy day ahead of us.” With that, he walked off and left her alone with the two. They introduced themselves as Brandon and Alicia.

 

First was the chair. She sat down, after removing her jacket, and looked in the mirror while Brandon played in her hair, moving it up and down, deciding how it would look best. Once he made up his mind, he set to work. Andara winced as he pulled a sturdy brush through her hair. It wasn’t tangled, but she typically used a softer brand of bristle than Brandon apparently used. He turned the chair away from the mirror while he worked, and when he turned her around, her hair was a plethora of curls. With the length and thickness of her hair, it took him a little over an hour to finish. She understood then why she’d had to be at the studio at seven in the morning.

 

Careful not to mess up her hair, she moved to wardrobe and, between her and Alicia, picked out a simple black tube top, the only decoration an orientalized rose in the center, and a pair of black hipsters. No shoes. She looked at herself in the mirror once more and realized that with the clothes, the hair didn’t look as elaborate as before. It dawned on her that the “easy going” look of models wasn’t as easy to come by as it looked. She thought she was done, but instead, was sat in another chair where a black tarp-like cover was put over her. Andara tried to be as still as possible as black liner and mascara was applied thickly to her eyes. Her lips were darkened with a brown liner and covered with a gloss.

 

With not too much make up on, she was allowed to go around the partition and looked at the photographer. “Um-- I think I’m ready now,” she said softly.

 

Alex looked at her, holding his camera in his hand. His gaze was intense and Andara shivered. It felt like ice running down her arms, his gave did, as it traveled up and down her body. He pursed his lips and moved over to her. With his free hand, he grabbed her chin and moved her face from side to side. “No, you’re not,” he said briskly, then took her hand and pulled her back behind the partition. “These,” he said, hefting the large hoops that graced her ears, “are too big.” Alex moved around, going through jewelry boxes until he found a small pair of simple silver hoops. “And they’re gold,” he said. “We’re not going for gaudy cheese, here, people.” He handed the earrings to Andara and she changed them quickly. Alex looked at her and nodded, then pulled her back into the main part of the room.

 

Alex sat down his camera and led Andara to the area he had prepared. On the floor was a large white piece of carpet, soft to the touch. His bare feet sank deep into its depth as he walked around. The seat was nothing more than a square ivory block in the center. Alex sat Andara down and moved back. The walls around the area had been covered in white cloth, to give the look of a flowing sea of purity when the fans turned on, moving the material gently. He turned away from her and picked up his camera.

 

Andara watched him, curious. The other photographers she’d worked with had been quite talkative, saying about anything to make her feel comfortable. Alex didn't’ seem to care, or perhaps he was just used to people with his temperament. The room was quiet and she waited to see if he’d put on some kind of music. He just stood there, adjusting the sights on his camera. He moved over to the lighting people, whispering. She watched as the bulbs moved in accordance with his demands. He said nothing to her for a good five minutes, then at last, flipped a switch on a radio across the room, finally filling the room with energizing noise, and came back to Andara. “Ready?” he asked her. She nodded. “Then let’s get ready.”

 

“Um... are we going for anything in particular?” she asked him.

 

“Just feel the music and go with it.”

 

Andara took in a deep breath. Her hands rose to her face, covering her eyes then glided down her neck as she exhaled slowly. She heard the camera start to click and realized he’d begun already. She didn’t know if she should continue or not. All she was doing was her normal preparation to dazzle the camera, not exactly what she’d call modeling. Yet, with her rolling her neck and moving slowly, the camera clicked away. She opened her eyes finally and Alex was on the side of her, shooting her profile. She moved off of the ivory block, resting her knees on the plush carpet. Her hands touched the soft top and her back arched. She pulled herself to her feet and let the rhythms of Creed move her body. Her arms rose above her head as she moved from side to side. They fell down around her, hugging her body as she twisted to the voice of Scott Stapp.

Andara was lost in the rhythm. She realized, as the music changed, that what she was listening to was a mix tape with songs of varying speeds intermingled. She moved with the music’s tempo, letting it guide her through her actions. At Alex’s urgings, she lowered herself to the floor and balled her fists in the lushness beneath her. Her lips were parted, her breathing soft and slowly paced. Once she had gotten comfortable, she had gone from timid to relaxed and at ease with her work.

 

A step ladder, about three feet high, was brought over and Alex instructed her to roll over. Andara moved onto her back and Alex climbed up, shooting down on her. He watched her move through the lens of his camera and marveled at how at ease she was. There was still a spark of nervousness in her eye as his lens zoomed in on her, and he liked it. It gave a sense of humanity to the photographs. He zoomed in on her face, taking black and white shots of darkened eyes. He climbed down from his ladder and moved onto the carpet with her. She stood up and he turned his face up, constantly clicking away. His finger moved fast, clicking the small button. Alex caught each movement, each expression. He moved closer to her, causing her to move backwards. Andara walked in reverse until her back hit a covered wall.

 

“Move your arms up,” he told her. She complied, letting her raised arms glide across the thin covering. “That’s good. Sensual. Now... one arm up... the other... no... on your... right.” She touched her cheek lightly with her fingertips, letting them glide across the creamy flesh to land on her lip. “Now... inside... right... just like that. Great.”

 

He continued to click away, stopping only to reload the camera. Andara slid down the wall after the fourth film change and squatted, her hands on the floor between her parted bare feet. Alex moved back, still taking pictures, catching her entire body, down to her sparkling black toenails. “Now... crawl... come to me... stalk me... that’s right... like a lion moving up on its prey. Right... roll your shoulders... stop... right... there.” He clicked the camera one last time, then stopped. “Okay, clothes change.”

 

It was three hours later and Andara was perched, still, on the floor. She watched the photographer turn his back to her, moving to a different camera. He had been so into the motions of taking the pictures, but when the camera went down, he was back to quiet. She wasn’t sure if it was her or just how he was. She thought that maybe it was just because he didn’t know her well, or at least she hoped, otherwise, it would be quite frustrating having him as her personal photographer. With a sigh, Andara stood and moved behind the partition to change again.

 

This time, she wore lighter, more vibrant colors. She wore a thin lavender dress, sheer enough to show the royal blue bra and panty beneath. The darkness of her eyes was washed away and replaced with powder blue eye shadow, filled with bits of sparkle. Her lips were glossed with a faint pink, giving them a full look with the help of nude liner. The dress swished around her at the waist, tight at the top, and the sleeves hung down and came to a point at her middle finger. Her shoes were three inch heels, matching the dress, with straps that came up her calves. The dress stopped at her knee in the front and came down to the floor in the back.

 

When she walked out, Alex turned and stopped. It never ceased to marvel him the difference in a person’s look with different clothes and makeup. He watched as Andara turned her head slightly at his gaze, and remembered what Natalie had said. It must be hard for her to stand in front of him with her underwear showing, no matter who had designed the dress. He walked over to her, making an attempt at cordiality. “You look nice.”

 

“Thank you,” she replied softly.

 

Alex nodded. “Go to the mirrors,” he told her, nodding in the direction. Andara turned her head and saw the mirrored wall. The bar across confirmed her suspicions earlier that it had formerly been a dance studio. She moved gracefully over and leaned against the bar, her head bending back to touch the mirror. “Ready?” he asked. She nodded and once again, the session began.

 

Seven o’clock in the afternoon and another four outfits later, the session was over. Once again, Andara was in her jeans and t-shirt, her curls pulled back into a ponytail that was too big to allow her to wear her hat. She’d been told to get accustomed to being “Andara” but dressed as she was, she felt more Audrey than anything. She walked over to her new photographer and took in a deep breath, letting it flow out slowly. “So, uh... how did I do?”

 

“You did fine.”

 

Alex was quiet and she sighed. “Did I do something wrong?”

 

“Hm?” He looked up at her from the camera he was putting its case. “Wrong? No, why?”

 

“You just-- you didn’t talk to me much. And if you’re gonna be my photographer, I think we should at least be on talking basis, ya know?”

 

“Oh, well... we were working and when I work, I’m straight up business.”

 

“That’s all fine and good, but how am I supposed to get across the playful parts when I’m looking at such a somber face.”

 

“What?” he said. “You don’t like this face, Andara?”

 

“No, I didn’t... and don’t call me that.”

 

“It’s your name.”

 

She sighed again. “No, I’m Audrey. These clothes and this face is just plain Audrey.”

 

Alex looked at her and tilted her head back. “Looks like Andara to me.”

 

“Nope. Audrey.”

 

“Look. First rule... get used to your name. You’re going to be known as Andara for the rest of your life. Get used to it.”

 

Andara sighed. “Is this all I’m going to be? A name and a face?”

 

Alex smirked. “You’re a model, baby girl. Get used to it.”

 

Andara shook her head. This wasn’t what she’d come to LA for. She’d come to get away from her doldrum life, yes, but she hadn’t come looking for fame. She just wanted to have a new surrounding and new friends. “Ya know, I didn’t ask to bump into Stella. It just sorta happened.”

 

Alex leaned back against the table and folded his arms. They always sent him the difficult ones. The ones that never wanted to be stars, but were destined for it, or so the managers and agents claimed. He felt as though he’d been photographing beautiful faces and bodies for at least twenty years, when in fact, the twenty-five year old had only been a professional for the past five. “Let me tell you something about this business,” he said to her. “Nothing just happens. Whether you planned or somebody else, make no mistake about it. You’re here cause you were meant to be.”

 

“Are you talking fate?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I don’t believe in it.”

 

Alex stood up straight and sighed. “You better start, ‘cause that’s what’s leading your life now. You’re caught up in a whirlwind, baby girl, and there ain’t no way to get out. You’re stuck here like the rest of us, so get used to it.” He turned from here, then, and continued putting away his equipment. “I’ll give you a call when the pictures are done,” he said, not turning around.

 

Andara watched him work and was even more confused. His attitude changed from moment to moment and only knowing him one day, knew that it would get quite aggravating. She began to say more to him, but changed her mind. There was no point in it and after twelve hours of posing and being a model, she was tired. Whatever her future in the fashion industry would be, the present is what she lived in and at present time, she was starving and tired and just wanted to rest.

 

Chapter 2

 

Marilyn Mathison watched her roommate as she devoured the spaghetti and garlic bread in front of her. She’d met Andara at a party in Detroit, while visiting relatives, and the two had stayed close ever since. Back then, she had been Audrey and in her current rush of stardom, Marilyn was the only one that still called her by her given name. When she’d gotten a phone call, asking if she wanted a roommate, she’d been excited. She had her fun times in Los Angeles, but her apartment got lonely and she missed having someone around to talk to in person. Phone calls were nice, but when you were upset or depressed, they couldn’t give you a hug to make it all better. So, she’d told Audrey to come on down.

 

Marilyn still could hardly believe that her friend was suddenly a model. She joked often that she would be able to say, “I knew her when she was on unemployment,” but she figured those times were far off. A million and one women came looking to make it big in the City of Angels, but less than one percent of them actually did it. But, with Audrey, she thought it was different. She hadn’t come searching. She’d come to start over again, maybe find something more than her every day routine. Well, she’d found that, alright, and it just might last.

 

“I thought models were supposed to eat like... carrots and other such rabbit food.” Marilyn scrunched her face and twitched her nose like a bunny and, after swallowing, Andara laughed.

 

“Well, then, I must not be a model, ‘cause I refuse to starve myself.”

 

“Ya know, you just might be a breakthrough.”

 

“Oh, really?”

 

“Yeah... the non-anorexic supermodel. Better be careful, it might become a trend.”

 

Andara sat back, aghast. “Ya think! My goodness, I better watch out! Next thing ya know, they’ll be telling models that they’re too thin! Then what would the world do?”

 

“It would be the end of the world!”

 

Andara laughed, then shrugged. “Oh well. What can ya do?” Once again, she dove her fork into the pasta and began to eat. Marilyn watched her while she ate, shaking her head at the amount of food the woman managed to consume... and the minimal amount of weight she gained.

 

“Ya know, I’m still pissed I wasn’t with you when you met Stella. I mean-- do you realize who she is? Paul McCartney’s daughter? Macca’s kid?”

 

“Yeah, yeah, I know. The great Beatles.”

 

“And yeah, yeah, I know you don’t like ‘em.”

Andara shrugged. “In the sixties, I’d have been a Stone. What can I say?” She took a bite of bread, then sipped her Coke and sighed. “I almost wish it hadn’t happened.”

 

“Huh? Hold on... wait a minute.” Marilyn put a finger in her ear, moving it around vigorously. “Damned wax. I could have sworn I just heard you say that you wish it hadn’t happened.”

 

“I did.”

 

“Why for God’s sake!” she said, appalled. “You’ve got a job that is NOT in retail hell. You get to wear clothes by a McCartney for goodness sake! And... you even have your own photographer. What is there not to love?”

 

Andara sighed and shrugged. “I dunno. I mean.. all this hoopla over me? It’s not exactly wine and roses, ya know?”

 

“Oh, excuse me. I’m really really sorry that you get to wear the best clothes and take pictures and play dress up all day. I mean, such hard work.”

 

“It is! I mean.. yeah it can be fun, but... Lyn, you just don’t know. People gawking at you, poking you... it’s like I’m on sale.”

 

“You are.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

Marilyn stood from the table and began to walk slowly around the room. “Think about it. Yeah, they’re gonna buy the clothes that you put on, but the designers? They’re buying you. They’re buying your package. I’ve seen some of the stuff they hock to rich people and ya know... most people would look like shit in it. But, when they see it on the model, it looks great. They’re not selling just the clothes, they’re selling your look and you, too.”

 

“Oh, well, thanks, Lyn, that makes me feel better.”

 

Marilyn shrugged and sat back down. “I wasn’t tryin’ to.” She was quiet for a minute, then asked, “So... what’s this photographer like? Is he hot?”

 

“Lyn!”

 

“Well! Come on, Audrey. Don’t tell me you didn’t think about him.”

 

“Well... yeah, but... it’s work.”

 

“And if he’s hot that’s a perk. So, come on. Spill. Is he hot or what?”

 

Andara was quiet for a while. She studied her food, picking at the pasta and rolling a meatball around the plate. She finally looked up at her friend and nodded. “He’s pretty good lookin’. Oh, did I tell you my makeup guy is gay? Cute, too. But, yes, definitely gay. Has a boyfriend named... uh... oh shoot, I forget.”

 

“Well, duh, Audrey, this is California. You’re gonna find ‘em here. Besides, gay guys make the best hairdressers and makeup people. Now, back to this photographer. What’s his name?”

 

“Alex.”

 

“Hm... that’s nice. Anymore? Like a last name?”

 

“Uh... McCoy... no... McDonnell...”

 

“McLean?”

 

“Yeah, I think that’s it.”

 

“Oh my GOD!” Marilyn jumped up from her chair. “Do you realize who you have as personal photographer?”

 

“Uh... no.”

 

“Ya know, this is sad. You’re a fashion model and have no clue. Dude! He did that Victoria’s Secret Angels layout! And like... he took those pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar for...oh shoot... I forget the magazine, but still! You’re working with like... the top of the line!”

 

“Oh. Well, yay for me.”

 

“Yes! Definitely, yay for you!” She sat back down and moved her chair closer. She pushed aside Andara’s plate. “Dinner time is over for now.” She ignored her friend’s look of disapproval. “Spill! I mean, yeah I fiddle with a camera but this man... Oh my goodness.. what’s he like? How does he work? Is he all...”

 

“Whoa, Lyn, chill. Just... gimme a sec, okay?”

 

“For what? I mean, come on. You know how I am. Would you just tell me already?”

Andara sighed. She wasn't’ sure what to make of Alex McLean herself, and was sure she couldn’t convey his demeanor to someone else. “I dunno,” she finally said. “I mean... he’s good behind the camera, but... I don’t know.”

 

“How can you not know?”

 

“I’ve only worked with him once, Lyn.”

 

“Audrey... you spent twelve hours with the man. You have to know something.”

 

“I know that I look pretty good in lavender.”

 

“I could’ve told you that.” She sighed. “Can’t you tell me anymore? The man is like my idol. He’s only twenty-five, and he’s worked some of the hottest shoots around. God, I’d love to just see him and you get to spend day after day with him? God, you’re a lucky bitch!”

 

“Lucky, uh huh. Sure.” She watched her friend’s excitement and could almost understand it. Andara had to admit that if it were the other way around and her best friend was working with someone she admired, she’d be excited, too. “Wanna meet him?”

 

“What? Hello! Didn’t I just say I’d love to meet him? Goodness, Audrey, ya know, that blonde stuff you put in your hair is really getting to you--”

 

“Cause he’s gonna call when the photos are ready and I have to go see him and figured that you could go with me.”

 

“--because you’re really out there sometimes. And you never listen when I say something important. When I say ‘I would love to meet him’ or ‘I’d give my right arm to just catch a glimpse’ then you should--” Marilyn paused. “Did you just say what I think you just said?”

 

“What do you think I said?” Andara asked her.

 

“That I could go with you to meet the one and only Alex McLean?”

 

“Then, yup, I said what you think I said.”

 

“Oh my God, Audrey, I love you!” She hugged her friend tightly, then jumped up. “What in the hell am I gonna wear? I can’t go looking like crap, you know. He’s used to models and agents and Hollywood types. I’m just a perfume lady at Sears!”

 

“Dude, chill out. You see what I walked in there wearing.”

 

“That’s different,” Marilyn said, waving it off. “You’re a model. You go in looking like hell and come out looking like a million bucks. Whatever I go in like, I’m coming out like.”

 

“Hon, would you just calm down? We’ll find something. Besides, it’s gonna be a few days.”

 

“A few days. Okay, so I’ll probably have to call in ‘cause I will not pass this up for Sears. I’ll tell ‘em you gave me the flu or something. That’ll spare me for like a few days, anyway. Sears can kiss my ass, man, cause I’m gonna meet Alex McLean.”

 

Andara laughed at Marilyn’s exuberance. She had never been that excited to meet someone and wondered if she ever would. Oh, if she got a call saying that she was going to get the chance to meet Tom Cruise or Vin Diesel or even Al Pacino, she’d be overjoyed, but to be as ecstatic as Marilyn, she wasn’t sure. With a small chuckle, she asked, “Can I eat now?”

 

“Huh? Oh, yeah sure. Just.. don’t go and stuff yourself and blow up like a whale. Then how will I meet people?”

 

“I swear on my forced membership to Bally’s that I won’t whale out on you.”

 

“Good! Now... eat, woman! I have to go and find something to wear!”

 

Chapter 3

 

“Alex McLean, this is my best friend and roommate, Marilyn. Lyn, this is Alex.” Andara smiled as she introduced the two. She and Marilyn had just barely made it to the studio by the designated time. Alex had called three days after the shoot, and for the two days following that, Andara had been helping Marilyn shop. She had insisted that she needed new clothes to meet Alex in and had finally settled on an angled black skirt with fringe and royal blue sweater.

 

“Hi,” Marilyn said, smiling. “I’m a big fan of yours.”

 

“Oh, well, then it’s definitely a pleasure to meet you. Now, tell me why you haven’t been in front of my camera.”

 

Marilyn laughed, turning her head to the side. “Because I’m not the model, silly,” she told him.

 

“Oh, I don’t know about that.” He moved to a nearby table and picked up a camera. He peered through the lens, adjusting the focus. “You look like a model to me.” He clicked a few times on the camera, and in the almost empty room, the open and close of the shutter echoed. Marilyn turned her head, and Alex laughed. “Coy... dazzling... nice.”

 

“Mr. McLean...”

 

“Alex.”

 

“Alex, stop. I’m just here to, uh, observe.”

 

“And what are you observing, my dear?”

 

Marilyn giggled, then went to stand beside her friend, once again in worn jeans, this time with a partially buttoned shirt, and put an arm around her shoulder. “Why... my best bud’s shots, of course. And... the work of my favorite photographer.”

 

“Oh, so now I’m your favorite, huh?” Alex smiled at her and winked.

 

“Well... let’s just say you’re the one I wish I could be like.”

 

“A photographer?”

 

“A dabbler,” Marilyn said. “A dabbler making her money in the trade of retail hell.”

 

“Ah, I remember those days. But... better than digging ditches, huh?”

 

Marilyn laughed. “Definitely.”

 

Andara watched the two interact in awe. The last time she’d been in the room with Alex, he’d been almost cold, but now he was a totally different person. He was joking, flirting... being fun. She stepped forward and sighed. “Can we look at the shots now?”

“In a rush are we?” Alex asked her.

 

“Well, I am sorta wondering how they came out.”

 

“They came out nicely.” He went back to the table and pulled out a large folder. “Why don’t we go upstairs and look at these. It’s more comfortable.”

 

“What’s upstairs?” Andara asked.

 

“His loft,” Marilyn told her. “He stays upstairs, as I recall, and has his dark room and all up there. Right?” she asked, looking at Alex.

 

“Very good.”

 

“She’s a stalker,” Andara said, laughing. “Ignore her.” Marilyn glared at her friend, then punched her gently in the arm. “Hey! That arm’s for sale, remember, and you haven’t bought it.”

 

“With Alex taking your pictures, I doubt I’ll ever be able to afford it.”

 

“Then, don’t damage the merchandise,” she laughed.

 

“Aw, poor Audrey.”

 

“Oh, wait... Mr. Photographer will get mad if you call me that. He says I am Andara and have to get used to it.”

 

“Oh really? Well, you’ll always be Audrey to me, my buddy from retail hell.”

 

“That’s right. Did you hear that, Alex? Audrey from retail forever.”

 

“Baby girl, give me a month and no one will know who Audrey is.”

 

Alex walked off, expecting the women to follow. Marilyn moved up behind him, taking his lead, but Andara hung back a moment. She wasn’t sure she wanted Audrey to disappear. Beneath the clothes and makeup, that’s who she was. Just a normal girl from Detroit, tossed in the hurricane of stardom. She had to keep Audrey, because without her, there would have never been an Andara. When Marilyn looked back and called her, Andara shrugged it off and moved with the other two and headed upstairs.

 

“These are great,” Marilyn said, almost gasping. “My God, Audrey, you look gorgeous.”

 

“Thanks, Lyn,” she said softly, looking through the small eye piece at a sheet. “Alex did a great job.”

 

“I’m not talking about him,” she said. “Aud, look at this. I mean... your face.” She took her sheet of black and whites to where Andara was and showed her a picture. Andara’s face was slack except for a slight upwards turn of the right side of her mouth. Her eyes stood out from the dark makeup. “And look at your eyes... that slight bit of fear. It’s like... you’ve got this total predatory look going, then right in the middle of it all... you’re scared.”

 

“I was scared. I wasn’t acting or posing,” she told her.

 

“I know. That’s why I’m so like... oh my god, ya know? It’s like... you’re made for the camera, hon.”

 

“I wouldn’t say that.”

 

“I would,” Alex said, coming up behind them. “Your face calls to the camera. It’s like you own it. And you’ve got that extra bit of... I don’t know what it is, but it’s something and it’s there.” He put a hand on Marilyn’s shoulder. “And you seem to know a lot about this stuff.”

 

Marilyn shrugged. “Before I realized I’d never make it through any type of school, I wanted to be a photographer. Took a few classes.”

 

“Looks like you definitely learned something.”

 

“A little.”

 

“Well... how about the next shoot, you come with? You can observe, suggest... learn?”

 

“Are you serious,” she asked him.

 

“Yup.”

 

Marilyn turned around and pushed him back. “Get out! You’re tellin’ me I get to like... learn from like... you?”

 

Alex laughed. “That’s what I said. But I can’t exactly get out of my own loft,” he said with a smirk.

 

“Oh, you. Oh my... Audrey, did I ever tell you how glad I am that you moved out here?”

“Hm? Oh, only a million times,” she said laughing.

 

“Good. So, I guess I don’t need to tell you, again.”

 

“Nope. I think I have it figured out.” Andara laughed, then went back to her pictures. She looked closely at the shot that Marilyn had been looking at and focused on her eyes. She could see it. She was afraid. Not necessarily of the camera, though, but of herself. Her thoughts drifted back to what Alex had said about no one knowing Audrey and she realized what it was that she feared. So easily, she slipped into the persona of Andara and she’d only just begun. She wondered if it would become easier to lose herself within the face of a model, and that frightened her. She didn’t want to lose herself at the sake of another, yet, neither did she want to jeopardize her future over paranoia. Above all else, she was afraid of the confusion, because within that, both Andara and Audrey were lost.

 

Chapter 4

 

The more Andara worked with Alex, the more comfortable she became. It helped that Marilyn was around to make her feel more at home. She’d been waiting patiently to find out what the “unconventional” side of her photographer would be. Apparently, Marilyn knew, because whenever she asked, the young redhead would only giggle and tell her not to worry about it. Alex would just ignore the questions. She’d started to believe that it was all just a ploy to keep her on edge after things seemed normal.

 

Once again, in the studio, Andara was ready to be the focus of Alex’s lens. They would begin inside and then there was a spot picked out in a private garden for the rest of the shoot. Stella was in the studio that day, since the dress Andara would be wearing was her design, and Marilyn had managed not to fall all over herself at the sight of her. Andara was quite proud of the way her friend handled herself, but knew that when they got home, the excitement would begin.

 

The dress had a full skirt and formed a wide circle around Andara’s feet. From beneath the glittery material, sparkling silver shoes could be seen, just the tips. The bodice was tight and there were no sleeves. Were the dress completely white, it could easily be mistaken for a wedding dress. As it was the blue was so light that only in certain light could it be distinguished from the pale color. Andara’s hair was high atop her head in a bun, with a small tiara accentuating the diamond necklace and earrings that were on loan. Andara felt like Cinderella as she walked out. The room was covered, again, in sheets hanging on the walls, but these were made to resemble the color of the dress. She walked out slowly and blushed at the admiring glances she was given. “You look gorgeous,” Marilyn told her. She could be smile at her, taking the compliments as gracefully as possible.

 

Andara moved to the middle of the room and sat down on the floor. The skirt moved out around her and she looked to be kneeling in a mound of cloth, only her upper body showing. Alex hadn’t said anything but from the way he slowly rose his camera, and took pauses between the pictures, it was apparent that he, too, was bedazzled by the beauty of the princess. Softly, he said, “Whatever happens... just go with it.” There was a moment of confusion for her before a sheet dropped from the ceiling and fell on her head. She didn’t fight her way out, instead moving slowly as she pulled the cloth from her head. “Right there,” Alex said as her face peeked out from beneath the sheet. “Stop... right... yeah... now... slowly... that’s it...” Andara carefully pulled back the cloth, revealing herself little by little. Her face glowed with the beaming smile that spread across her lips. Alex pulled over a ladder and climbed up, looking down at her as another cloth fell. Andara leaned back, laughing. The fun she had showed through her eyes as she played with the falling sheets.

 

After the studio, she was in the garden and again, the surprises made her laugh. From atop, in an old oak tree, someone dropped buckets of flowers onto her. She twirled in the shower of petals and stems, taking some of the flowers in her hands, smelling them. A butterfly came out from somewhere and landed on her finger. A small bird, obviously trained, perched on her shoulder. “I feel like Snow White, now,” she said with a laugh. Stella stood by watching with a smile. From the moment she’d met the young woman, she’d seen something in her that said that she’d sell and so would whatever she wore. It was nice to see that she was having fun, enjoying the time she spent in front of the camera. She made a note to speak with Natalie about an upcoming event as she watched the photo shoot.

 

As Alex looked through the camera, he seemed to see more than just the beauty of his model. There was almost a glow around her when she smiled and her laugh chimed through the air. Unlike usual, he took more care with the pictures, clicking slower, using varying degrees of color films and speed. “Gorgeous,” he said softly, almost to himself. “Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty... think... princess... Aurora... you’re the sunlight and all of the world is flocking to you for life. That’s right. Just like that... you’re doing great... just like that... great work, baby girl.” Perfect, he thought in his mind.

 

Andara eyed the images with a smile. To her untrained eye, she looked like she had just walked out of a Disney film. In each frame, she was either smiling, laughing, or playing with something that had fallen down on her. The garden had been one of the most beautiful things she’d ever seen and would have loved to just stay there forever. Though the air had been chilly, it hadn’t phased her. To Andara, it had felt like a nice spring day, the kind she remembered in Detroit when she and friends would go to Belle Isle and sit by the river. That thought sent her mind drifting back to the friends and family she had left behind, and she had to remind herself that she would have to call them.

 

Her reverie was broken as Alex walked over to her, holding a full-sized 8 x 10 glossy. “This is the one that’s gonna make you worldwide, baby girl,” he said softly as he put the picture before her. Andara took in a sharp breath, letting it out slowly. The image was black and white, save for the dress, her eyes, lips and her hair. Curling whisps hit her face, the bronze showing beautifully against the grey image. The pale blue sheet covering her head perfectly matched the ballgown that decorated her body. And from beneath the sheet, chocolate eyes shone brightly, a slight sparkle of gold flashing in them. Her lips glittered as they formed a small ’oh’ in surprise of the fallen cloth atop her head. But, above all, the eyes captured everything, from the excitement of the moment, to the complete wonder she felt at being dressed like a princess.

 

“I look like...”

 

“Cinderella,” he whispered softly from behind her.

 

Andara turned slowly to her photographer and suddenly realized how close their bodies were. “Yeah,” she said just as softly. She held the picture in her hand and spoke into his eyes. “You’re... fantastic,” she told him.

 

“I only take the pictures. You make them come alive.”

 

“But, the color--”

 

“All because I have such a wonder to work with.”

 

“A wonder, huh?”

 

“Yeah...”

 

“And then?”

 

“We looked at each other.”

 

“And then?”

 

“Dude, don’t start that.”

 

“And then?”

 

“And then... you put it in a brown paper bag and put it in my hand cause I’m hungry.” Andara shook her head as she laughed. Marilyn looked at her, sighing. “Dude,” Andara said, “You started it. I just finished it.”

 

“Okay, okay. No more And then... but, come on Audrey, you have to tell me about this. I mean... what did it feel like? Being that close to him?”

 

“Why are you asking me?” Andara stood up and began to pace her bedroom. Marilyn watched her from the bed, anxiously. “You work with him, just like I do. Hell, you even got to get out of retail hell.”

 

“I should have stayed,” she joked. “It paid more.”

 

“You’re getting exposure, now hush.” Andara stopped and flounced back down on the bed with a sigh. “And then... nothing happened. He stepped away, I turned back to the pictures and we just did work.”

 

“Work? Oh, come on! Nothing happened? The two of you... all alone in his loft... and you just went over pictures?”

 

“That’s exactly what happened.”

 

Marilyn looked at Andara with disapproval. She’d been watching the two of them together and could almost feel the tension between the two. She’d seen Alex spending hours over pictures of Andara, more time than she thought was necessary. He got a gleam in his eye as he admired her form in the photos that he had taken. He always said that it was her beauty that would take her to the top, and Andara said it was his photographs, but Marilyn knew it was the both of them that would do it. They were a great duo once Andara got used to him, and Marilyn just couldn’t believe that neither had done or said anything to the other about the obvious chemistry.

 

“I know you like him,” she said softly.

 

“He’s a nice guy, Lyn. Yeah, I like him.”

 

“You know what I’m talking about.”

 

“I don’t plan on compromising anything. Doing anything... rash... will just make things complicated and then... who knows what might happen.”

 

“Hm... you might get a guy out of the deal? That’s always a good thing.”

 

“Lyn!”

 

“Well! I’m not an idiot. I know there’s chemistry with you two. You just need to act on it.”

 

“Me? Why me!”

 

“Cause! Alex McLean isn’t the most outward type and he’s SO not gonna make the first move.”

 

“And I am?”

 

“One of you have to.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because, I said so.” Marilyn folded her eyes and gave the look of determination that she had perfected. Andara looked at her and sighed. It wasn’t as easy as Marilyn thought. Yes, she was interested in Alex, but she couldn’t say for sure that he was and she didnt’ want to do anything to scare him off.

 

“What do you want me to do?” she asked. “Walk up to him and kiss him?”

 

“That’s always a good start.”

 

“Lyn!” she cried, outraged.

 

“What! I’m just lettin’ ya know what you should do. I mean... it’s not like I would do it personally ’cause I’m way too not attracted to anyone enough to do that, but you... girl, you know you want him.” Andara was quiet and Marilyn moved closer to her, lowering her voice. “You want him and you can’t deny it. So just... go out there and... get what you want.”

 

Chapter 5

 

Andara rode the elevator up to Alex’s loft, curioiusly. He’d called her, saying that he had a surprise for her, and she was almost afraid of what that might be. The fact that she’d seen Natalie’s car out front told her that it had something to do with business, but Marilyn’s grin as she left the apartment said that something else could be up as well. Andara was kind of glad that Marilyn hadn’t come with her. Had she been there, the young model wasn’t sure that she’d have been able to stop from killing her friend... or running out in embarassment. The photo shoots had become more and more relaxed, to the point where they actually laughed and made jokes during the session. Marilyn couldn’t help but throw in sex jokes, or say something in reference of a chemistry between two people. It had been weeks since the last time they’d spoken outwardly about anything between Alex and Andara, and the model was glad.

 

The elevator stopped and Andara muscled the door up and the gate open, then stepped out. She heard low voices, but didn’t see anyone. “Hello?” she called out. “Alex? Nat?” She moved farther inside and saw the two, facing a large object, propped against the wall and covered. “Um... excuse me.” Alex turned to her first and smiled.

 

“Well, it’s about time you got here,” he told her. “We started to think you’d never show up.”

 

“Traffic was a bitch,” she said, shrugging. “What is this big surprise you two have for me?”

 

“Oh, you’re always in such a rush,” Natalie told her. She walked over and put an arm around Andara’s shoulders and winked. “Just be patient, Dara. There’s plenty of time for that.”

 

“Not really plenty,” Alex said to her. “Only about a month to get ready, really.”

 

“A month is plenty of time,” Natalie said, waving him off. “Especially for our little star right here.”

 

“A month isn’t long enough, I tell you. Not to be prepared for something like this.”

 

Andara looked from one to other and shook her head. “Could you please stop talking in code and just tell me what’s going on? We’ve got a shoot out in the Valley somewhere, don’t we? For Gap or something? I’d like to make it on time.”

 

“Dara, dear, that’s been postponed,” Natalie told her. “It’s one of the things I needed to tell you.”

 

“Um... postponed? Why?”

 

“Something about some kind of problem with the layout. Seems the head honchos changed their minds again on what they want. No big, though, ‘cause you’ve got something better to do.”

 

“I do?” she questioned.

 

“Oh yeah. Alex... dear, why don’t you show her.”

 

With flair, Alex swept the cloth from the the piece on the wall. Andara’s eyes went wide. “What in the hell...” She stepped away from Natalie and walked slowly towards Alex and the extremely large photo. Her arm oustretched and by the time she got there, her fingers were itching to touch it. There she was, larger than life, in the blue dress from the Stella shoot, the white sheet over her head, brown eyes and sparkling lips peeking out from beneath flowing white. At the top, her name was written in sprawling letters, and the bottom... “Wha- I... uh... Oh my God, the show... I...”

 

“You’re headlinin’, baby girl,” Alex told her with a smile. “I told ya... this shot right here... it’s gonna make you famous.”

 

Her eyes turned to him and she almost gasped. In his eyes was pride, that he was able to bring to life such glamour. “I... Alex, I... Oh my... I can’t believe this,” she said softly.

 

“Believe it, Andi,” he told her softly. “You’re gonna strut your stuff, and I’ll be there to capture the shots.”

 

“But... I’m not a runway model. I’m a print and... I’ve never walked a runway in my life! What if I fall on my face!”

 

“Oh, stop it!” Natalie said, coming over. “It’s not that hard. Just smile, be pretty, and walk. You can do that, can’t ya?”

 

“Oh, yeah, like you’ve done it before?”

 

“Well, no, but it can’t be that hard. You’re a smart girl. You’ll figure it out.”

 

“Nat...”

 

“Just hush. You’re gonna do it, it pays good, and then... you’ll be all over the place. Now, I gotta run. But, wait...” She went to her briefcase and pulled out some papers. “Sign here... here... and here.”

 

“Nat! You did all this before I even signed! What if I’d have said no?”

 

“Yeah, right. Like that was gonna happen. Just sign the papers so I can get ‘em back to Stella, then we can set up a meeting to get you ready.” Andara signed the papers, reluctantly, and Natalie quickly snatched them away. “Good. Now, as I was saying, I have to run. Congrats, girl. You two... I’ll see you later.” With that, she was gone and Alex was left alone with Andara, staring at the picture.

 

“It really is pretty, isn’t it?” Andara asked, her eyes focused on the image of herself. “I mean... I don’t look like that when I look in the mirror, ya know? And it’s just... wow.”

 

“You’re very wow,” Alex said softly.

 

“Um... yeah. The picture...”

 

“No... you.”

 

Andara turned to look at him. His eyes were soft as he looked at her. She thought that he would be looking at the picture, not at her. She turned her head slightly. Why is he looking at me, she thought. He had said wow... talking about her, but Andara didn’t see that. Maybe, dressed up and being seen through the lens of a camera, but as herself, she was just Audrey, and Audrey hadn’t been wow to anyone. Pretty maybe, but definitley not wow. Alex reached out, putting his finger beneath her chin. He turned her head to him, making her meet his eyes. Andara bit her lip. She rose one hand to tuck her hair behind her ear. “I’m not tall enough to be a runway model,” she whispered.

 

“Yes, you are.”

 

“My legs...”

 

“Are beautiful.”

 

“I can’t...”

 

“Yes, you can.”

 

Both of them moved closer to the other, almost subconsciously. “Not me,” Andara whispered, to which Alex replied, “Yes, you.” It dawned on Andara as their faces drew closer that she was no longer talking about the modeling. She was talking about them, about Alex more than anything else. She couldn’t because she wasn’t supposed to. Mixing business and pleasure was never a good idea. Not her because she wasn’t the beauty in the picture. She was just a plain girl who got paid to play dress up. But, the one that his lips came nearer and nearer to wasn’t dolled up. She wasn’t covered in makeup, wearing expensive clothes, with her hair styled. She was just a girl in jeans and a t-shirt, hair falling lankly down around her face.

 

Alex’s hand moved from her chin to her cheek. Hair fell forward and he pushed it back as he cupped the smooth skin of her face. Beneath his touch, she quivered slightly. With his other hand, he traced a line down the side of her face. He’d been trying to keep his distance. When they first met, he was wary. He had a job to do, and he seemed to be in the position of having to make her like her job, but as time passed, he realized that it was the other way around. It was she who made him enjoy what he did, the same as he did when he first started. “Yes, you,” he whispered again before moving his face the last few inches to meet hers.

 

Their foreheads touched first. Their eyes met. Andara’s breath was heavy. Her lips quivered with anticipation. She was so close, she could see the beads of sweat starting to form on his upper lip. She could feel his breath upon her face, smell the strong mint of the Altoids he constantly had tucked away in his cheek. Her head moved ever so slowly, and Alex mirrored her, positing his head for the moment. Andara moved closer and her lips covered his. She was still, only her lips moving in their shakiness, waiting for reaction. Alex put a hand to the back of her head and slightly parted his lips. Andara returned the gesture and they breathed into one another’s mouths. Her arms moved out and circled his waist. Alex pulled her closer into his body. He let his hand come around from her head to sweep her cheek. The Altoid found its way out of its secure pocket and slid into Andara’s mouth. Her eyes watered slightly from the shock of the stinging mint, but she didn’t pull away. She rolled the mint in her mouth, then pushed it carefully back inside of his. They stood, their lips pressed against the other, breathing in one another’s life, then slowly, after a few minutes, pulled their heads back.

 

“I...”

 

“Sh,” Alex told her, pressing two fingers against her lips. He laid a kiss against his fingers, then let them slide away so that he touched her lips again. Andara expected a war within herself. She was waiting for Audrey to tell her now, back away, but her sensible side did not make an appearance. Every part of her being was caught up in the rush of the moment, and when he pulled away, she could still feel his lips pressed against hers.

 

“Me?” she whispered.

 

“You.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because...”

 

“What?”

 

“Just... because.”

 

Andara was quiet. She wanted to say more, but she didn’t know what to say. She had to admit to herself, if no one else, that she had loved the kiss and enjoyed the feeling of his body next to hers. Something deep within her stirred and she backed slowly away from him. She knew if she didnt’ leave, she’d do something that she might possibly regret. “I, uh... think I should go celebrate.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Um... I’ll, uh... call you?”

 

“Do that.”

 

“I will.”

 

She turned, then, and Alex watched her go. He had felt the desire in her body when their lips touched and it had brought forth more in himself. Everything sensible in him told him that falling for someone he worked with was bad, especially one of his models. But even the sensibility had to admit that since he’d taken a greater interest in her, that the photos had been better. He worked harder at showing the glow that he saw around her. His work ethical conscience didn’t try as hard as he thought it would to deter him from his desires or infatuation, and that didn’t bother him one bit.

 

Chapter 6

 

“You could have told me, Lyn,” Andara said as she fell back on her bed. “I mean... you knew. I know you knew! And you just let me walk in there blind like that. You could have warned me.”

 

“But, then it wouldn’t have been a surprise!”

 

“You know I hate surprises.”

 

“Well... you needed this one. Now, stop being so blah. This is a good thing. I mean, you’re going to be right there... the world’s gonna be watching you... you-”

 

“Okay, you can stop now,” Andara said, sighing. “Make me even more nervous why don’t you.”

 

“Nervous!” Marilyn flopped down beside her on the bed. “Why are you nervous! You’re great! You’ll look fantastic!”

 

“I’ll fall on my face ‘cause I am NOT a runway model! All those people and the cameras flashing and... I’m gonna trip over the skirt or my own feet or who knows what and end up flat on my face and never be able to show my face in public again.”

 

“You’re over exaggerating, Audrey. You do that a lot, you know.”

 

“And that’s another thing! Audrey is scared to death of crowds, ya know. So, what about Andara? I’m gonna go out there and freak and turn into a big ole pumpkin.”

 

“You’re not even wearing orange! How can you be a pumpkin.”

Andara growled. “You know what I mean.”

 

“Yeah, I know,” Marilyn said with a sigh. “And you also know that Alex is gonna be there and he’s not gonna let you fall on your face. Neither is Natalie, or Stella, or me. Do you realize how much faith everyone has in you? That you’ll pull this off? And... you’ll be so famous! You’ll actually have enough to move out of this rat trap and get the kind of digs a model deserves.”

 

“We,” Andara said instantly. “We’ll move out of the rat trap.”

 

“Hey now...”

 

“Oh, don’t start. Aren’t you the one that let me mooch off of you when I got here and didn’t have a job for like forever? And hell, you have one so you can help pay. Just returning the favor and all.”

 

“Well... don’t think you’re gonna go and like... have me mooch, cause I don’t mooch. But, anyway, yeah, out of this rat trap and you’re gonna be a complete star. Bigger than Tyra Banks, I tell ya.”

 

“Now, I don’t know if I’ll be that big. I mean... they won’t be bangin’ on my door for Coyote Ugly 2 or anything.”

 

“You don’t know that! Maybe you’ll get a call and it’ll be like.. Tom Cruise saying you are to be his next leading lady. Or even better than that.. Vin Diesel. You know you just LOVE Vin Diesel.”

 

“Yeah, I love Vin Diesel, but dont’ go and get excited. I haven’t even done the show yet. It could be a total failure on my part and we’ll be living in this rat trap forever.”

 

Marilyn was quiet as she watched her roommate. Andara closed her eyes and folded her hands on her stomach. Marilyn knew that she had a cynical streak, but hadn’t seen her that pessimistic ever. She leaned down on the bed and propped herself up on her left elbow. “Okay, what’s going on?”

 

“What do you mean?” Andara asked, her eyes still closed.

 

“I’m not an idiot, Audrey. I know something’s wrong. You’re too... not you. Ya know? So spill. Why are you so glum?”

 

Andara sighed. “I kissed Alex today.”

 

“You what!” Instantly, Marilyn was up on her feet. “You... you’ve been rattling on about stuff I already knew and NOW you tell me you kissed... my God, girl, what is wrong with you!”

 

“Lyn, chill, okay?”

 

Andara sighed again and Marilyn asked, “Seriously, what is your problem? Wasn’t it good?”

 

“It... It was... fantastic.”

 

“Then why am I more excited about this than you are?”

 

“I dunno.”

 

“You said fantastic. So that meant you liked it.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Well...”

 

“Well... nothing.” Andara opened her eyes slowly and sat up. “Lyn... I just... you’re not supposed to mix business and pleasure. It’s always a bad coupling.”

 

“Not always. It works out... sometimes.”

 

“Yeah, sometimes. And if I’m not in that sometimes? Hell, what if it was just a kiss and after that he doesn’t want to anymore and like... what if it gets weird and then what? I’m out of a photographer and I’ll feel like shit and-”

 

“And you need to stop thinking negative. Just... go with the flow. And with the kisses. Kisses are good. Definitley good.”

 

“Lyn, you’ve got no idea what I wanted to do in there.”

 

“Oh really?” She sat back down. “Then tell, tell, tell.”

 

Again, she closed her eyes. Beneath her lids, she could see her and Alex like a movie playing. She could feel his lips against hers and the overwhelming desire for more. “I wanted... I wanted to put my hands under his shirt and feel his skin. I wanted to press my body to his until I was in him. Ya know? I wanted... God, I wanted everything, Lyn. It’s been so long and even if it hadn’t... I just...”

 

“You’re over the top for him?”

 

“I don’t know,” she said softly.

 

“What about him? How did he feel?”

 

“He... he didn’t say anything. Just that... well... we were looking at the poster and he said wow, but that it wasn’t for the picture. It was me.”

 

“Wow, huh?”

 

“Yeah,” she said softly. “Wow.”

 

“Wow is good.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Means he’s interested. And... he probably wants you as much as you want him.”

 

“Ya think?”

 

“Yes. Now... you like... stop pouting and think about it all. You’ve got this fantasy career, you’re about to be known worldwide... and a really hot guy with a great job is into you. I think you should be smiling.”

 

“I guess, I should.”

 

“Stop guessing and just do it, girl. Take the bull by the horns and ride it, cause if you do... you can have it all.”

 

Chapter 7

 

The phone rang early in the morning. Andara rolled over, grasping blindly for the receiver. She picked up with a growl. “What?” she asked, none too happy.

 

“It’s wake up time, baby girl,” Alex said, almost too chipper for it to be so early.

 

“Ugh. What time is it?”

 

“Seven.”

 

“And I have to wake up why?”

 

“Because... we have to get you ready to be a runway model.” Andara groaned. “Don’t give me that. You’ve only got a month and ya know... we’ve lost a couple of days.” On the last, his voice lowered. Since they had kissed, neither had spoken to the other and it had been two days. Alex had cursed himself for not being more in control, and so had Andara. Already they were both lacking in their duties, but Alex felt it was time to get on the ball.

 

“I know,” Andara said soflty as she sat up in the bed. “I’m just... so early?”

 

“Yup. You’ve gotta know how to work it. And... bring Mari with you. She can help give the flashing camera sensation.”

 

“Oh, yay,” she groaned.

 

“Yes, yay. Now, come on. I’ll meet you in the studio in an hour. Get up, Andi, time to work.”

 

The phone went dead in her ear and Andara groaned. Seven was too early. Anything before noon was too early. Especially when it involved facing someone that she’d avoided since kissing. With a sigh, she got out of bed and headed out of the room to wake up Marilyn so they could get to work.

 

“Put your arms down! You can’t do that on the runway!”

 

“Stop flashing that in my face!”

 

“Get used to it!” Alex told her. “There are gonna be a lot more when you get there.”

 

Andara screamed out in frustration and sat down on the makeshit runway Alex had put together. After two hours of flashing cameras, smiling, frowning, being neutral.. twirling, whirling, swirling... she was tired of it all. “I can’t do this,” she said.

 

“Yes, you can. Now, get up and do it again.”

 

“I can’t do it, Alex!” she screamed at him. “Just leave me alone!”

 

“You-”

 

Marilyn touched his arm and shook her head. She walked over to Andara and put a hand on her leg. “Audrey, listen. You have to just chill out. You’re doing fine if you’d just stop getting stressed. Just... ignore the cameras and just walk.”

 

“That’s hard to do with flashes going off every half second.”

 

“You’re gonna make me be parental aren’t you? ‘Cause you’re being a baby. You are going to get up there and practice and just do it, you here me?”

 

“Lyn, you’re not helping any.”

 

“Neither are you by being a baby. You’re a model. This is what you do.”

 

“I didnt’ want to be a model!”

 

“Well... it’s too late for that. Now, stand up and do it!”

 

“I can’t!”

 

Alex sighed and walked over. He told Marilyn, who was obviously at her wit’s end, to go and take a break. When she moved, he stepped up to the end of the runway. He put his hand where Marilyn’s had been and Andara looked up at him. “I can’t do this, Alex,” she told him. “All the flashes and the people... I can’t do that.”

 

“Andi, you can do whatever you try. You just have to want to try.”

 

“Why? This isn’t--”

 

“I know. It’s not what you came here for. But, remember what I said. You’re here for a reason. You may not believe in fate or destiny, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. You’re too gorgeous to not be destined for this.”

 

“I’m not gorgeous,” she told him. “I’m just a lucky pretty face.”

 

“Baby girl, there are a ton of pretty faces in the world and none of ‘em are here. You’re way more than a pretty face.”

 

She looked up at him and softly said, “I am?”

 

“Yeah,” he told her, just as softly.

 

“Um... about the other day.”

 

“You don’t... you don’t have to say anything,” he told her.

 

“No, I...” She searched his face, hoping that he would give something away to help her decide just what she should say. Whatever she found didnt’ bring the words. She put her hands on his face and quickly leaned in and kissed him, then pulled back. Alex was quiet and she turned her head. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

 

He turned her back to face him. “Don’t be sorry,” he told her. He rose a hand to her face and let it slide gently down her cheek. “Does this mean you’re not upset over the other day?”

 

“I... I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.”

 

“Me neither.”

 

“I just... I really like you and... I don’t want things weird. Ya know?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I just...” She took his hands in hers and put them to her waist, bared by her mid-drift top. She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Her mind drifted away to her fantasies of his hands on her body. Andara closed her eyes and she could see him, his eyes looking down at her while he touched her, made her feel special. She opened her eyes to see his fudge orbs looking at her the way she’d dreamed about. “I want... this,” she said softly.

 

“So do I,” he told her.

 

“But... this...” She thrust her head in the direction of the top of the ramp. “It’s hard. All the cameras.”

 

“Just remember that out there, right in front, mine will be right there. Snapping away, all for you.”

 

“I know,” she told him. “But the flashes.”

 

“Ignore them. That’s what we’re doing this for. To get you used to them.”

 

“What if I fall?”

 

“I’ll catch you.”

 

Andara smiled. “Promise?”

 

“On my camera,” he said with a smirk.

 

“Okay,” she told him softly. Reluctantly, she backed away and stood up. “Alright. I’ll try. But remember what you said... if I fall, you better catch me.”

 

Chapter 8

 

The month flew by and before she knew it, Andara was in the back area in her underwear, sliding into a dress. “This isn’t good,” she babbled. “I mean, this is just... Oh my God, I’m going to go out there and fall right off the stage. I know it. How many people are out there?” Someone told her a number she thought was too large and she went pale. She was quickly sat down and her makeup reapplied. Brandon sat behind her, putting an extra spray over her hair and he laughed.

 

“Now, girl, you stop. You’ll go out there and it’ll be fab!”

 

“Uh huh... you go out there, then.”

 

He laughed. “I would, but that dress just isn’t my color.” Andara looked to him and laughed. She hadn’t felt genuine laughter since walking in, moving through the press that crowded her entrance.

 

“Is Alex out there?” she asked. “Cause he should be in the front in case I fall. I know I’m gonna fall. I’m gonna trip and fall and look like a fool and that’s gonna be all over the place!”

 

“Oh hush!” Brandon said, hitting her hand. “Now, stop it already ‘cause you’ll be on soon.”

 

Surprisingly, it wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be. There was a slight fear in her when she first stepped out, but turn after turn, she got more comfortable and soon, Andara was strutting down the runway like a pro. She’d practiced the entire set almost every day since she found out and had been looking forward to the finale most of all. Andara kept her eyes focused though, letting the anticipation go to the side as she concentrated on the moment. She caught sight of Marilyn, holding various cameras and bits of equipment, but she trained herself on Alex. He snapped away, his flash shining brightly in her eyes, but as her vision cleared, she always saw him duck down from his camera long enough to flash her a smile.

 

Finally, the moment came that Andara had been waiting for. The lights went out, and when they came back on, she was sitting at the end of the runway, in the large circle that it stopped in, the way she had before when wearing the blue dress. This time, her dress was white, obviously a wedding dress. The tiara in her pinned curls sparkled in the light of the flashing cameras. She smiled softly as one by one, bridesmaids came down, in flowing baby blue satin. They came up one at a time to stand beside the seated bride, then back to form a line on either side of her.

 

Andara rose her bouquet to her face, smelling the white roses. Just as they touched her nose, a white sheet fell from atop onto her head. With a laugh, she moved slowly beneath the sheet, finding her way out. When she reappeared, it was identical to the poster that had advertised the event. Andara’s face was aglow as she heard the gasps from the people seated around. Everyone stood, clapping, and as she took one last look at Alex before his final shot, the lights went out.

 

The lights came back up and the stage was empty. Stella took to the center of the runway and again the clapping sounded. She smiled and said, “Thank you. But the applause goes to the star of the show... Andara!”

 

The young model came out and was handed a bouquet of red roses. Her heart leapt into her throat. The flashing lights were dizzying, but she held her ground. She couldn’t believe that all of those people were cheering for her. She felt like the star that they all said she would be.

 

Afterwards, she went backstage and the people started to disperse. She was still in the dress when she heard a familiar voice behind her. She turned and instantly fell into caring arms and when she looked up, Alex said, “I told you I’d catch you if you fell.”

 

Chapter 9

 

“I still can’t believe I’m doing this,” Andara said as she smiled for the camera. Two months had passed since the fashion show for Stella had given her instant fame. Every company in the world wanted her to be their covergirl. Currently, she’d been talked into a shoot for Cosmo and it had taken a lot of talking to get her to agree. The layout they had in mind was all that Cosmo represented, sex sex and more sex. The studio was empty as she sat on the covered floor, a sheet pulled up to her neck. The only way she would do would be if everyone else was gone, so it was her and Alex, alone.

 

“You’re doing it,” Alex told her. “Now... lay down... stretch... yeah.” He moved in closer to her, focusing on her face, then down as she pulled the sheet around her. “You’re being cute... I want sexy.”

 

“You want sexy, huh?” She gave him a wicked grin before letting her face fall into expressionless desire. Her lips were pouty, her eyes heated. She and Alex had been dating ever since that show, but she still felt slightly nervous being naked in front of him, even covered, and it showed in her eyes.

 

“You’re scared,” he said softly.

 

“I’m naked.”

 

“You’re covered.”

 

“Barely.”

 

“Still.” He clicked again. “Now... raise your right knee. Out of the sheet. Cover... No.” He set the camera down and moved the rest of the way to her. Carefully, he moved her leg, his hand traveling softly against the smooth skin. Andara’s eyes were on him as he moved the sheet just enough to drape the rest of her, yet give a peek of the woman beneath. He moved up her body, adjusting the sheet. “Lean back,” he whispered. Andara slid her arm down and leaned back until she almost touched the floor. Alex picked up his camera and shot down on her, then once again put the camera down.

 

“What is it?” she asked him.

 

“Hm? Uh... nothing,” he said softly. “Just the... uh...” He looked down to where the sheet had slipped, exposing the smooth flesh of her breast. “Just...” He reached down and his hand touched her skin as he moved the sheet back into position. Andara took hold of his wrist lightly, keeping his hand against her. Alex looked down into her chocolate eyes and wordlessly leaned down and kissed her softly. She rose a hand behind his head, her fingertips touching his neck. Alex pulled back slowly. “Andi...”

 

“Sh,” she said as she pulled him all the way to the floor. Alex’s body covered hers. His hand moved down her side, feeling her through the thin sheet. Andara’s mouth opened in a gasp and Alex’s tongue slid slowly inside, tasting her. She moaned against him, her body moving beneath his. The sheet feel from her breasts and Alex’s hand went up, cupping one fleshy mound. Andara moaned again. She took hold of the bottom of his tank top and pulled it over his head swiftly and tossed it to the side. Her leg rubbed against his jeans as she pressed her pelvis up into him. Alex backed away to look once more in her eyes. So much desire and need poured forth from her.

 

“Are you sure?” he asked her. She nodded and Alex took her mouth again. His hands found her sensitive areas. His clothes found their way to the floor and alone in the studio with the light pouring through the windows, the two were lost in passionate oblivion.

 

Chapter 10

 

“Andara!”

 

“Over here!”

 

“Oh my God, there she is!”

 

“Hey!”

 

She couldn’t believe all of those people were screaming her name. She could barely believe they even knew who she was. It was like just yesterday she had walked into Alex’s studio, and there she was, six months later with her face on billboards, magazines and television sets across the globe.

 

“Andara! Oh my God, can I...”

 

She turned abruptly as someone came under the red velvet ropes. A young man, not too much older than her, she assumed, with a book in his hand. Andara watched while he was pulled away by security and she felt bad for him.

 

“I could have signed it,” she said softly as she leaned into Alex. He looked to her, grinning and shook his head.

 

“You’re walking the red carpet, dear. You sign after.”

 

“But, still.”

 

“Just smile, be gorgeous and let the world see just how pretty you are.”

 

She sighed, but let him waltz her inside. She was getting more and more used to life in front of the camera, but a few things still bothered her. She remembered before she was famous and she wanted her picture taken with a star. She always thought it would be nice to just give someone a moment of your time, but she was learning that there was a certain etiquette that had to be followed in her line of work. And part of that etiquette was coming right for her.

 

Andara blinked as the cameras went off in her face. All that time and the bulbs still got to her sometimes. She gave a phony smile as microphones were stuck in her face.

 

“Andara, your work with Stella McCartney is up for an award at tonight’s VH-1 Fashion Awards. How do you feel?”

 

“Oh, it’s an honor. I never imagined I’d be a model, let alone one up for awards.”

 

“You’re in the show tonight, wearing a McCartney original.”

 

“Yes. Actually, I have one on now.” She turned, smiling. Her billowing skirt whipped around her legs, the material tattered but elegant. Her bodice was tight. She looked lovely in lavender. “Like it?”

 

“It’s beautiful. Lavender certainly is your color.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“We see you have your wonderful photographer on your arm, who’s up for an award himself. Can we put any truth to the rumors of you two being an item?”

 

Andara laughed as she looked at Alex. She bit her lower lip as he watched her from beneath dark glasses. She had a glint in her eyes that made him smirk. She put her hand to the back of his head, then boldly kissed him as the cameras flashed. She broke the kiss, licking her lips, then turned back to the cameras. “Does that answer your question?” She giggled, then the two of them walked off and made their way inside.

 

“You know that picture’s gonna be on the cover of every magazine, don’t you?” Alex asked once they got inside.

 

“Of course!”

 

“Aren’t we the happy one?”

 

“Well, ya know? I got to thinkin’ about it and... you were right.”

 

“I was?” He stood back, putting his hand to his heart.

 

“Oh, stop being such a ham. You said that I’d just have to get used to it all and... I did. People in my business, my face everywhere... and you.” Andara leaned in close to him, resting her head against his arm. “Very used to you.”

 

“Why thank you. I’m quite fond of you myself.”

 

“Good. ‘Cause I wouldn’t want this to be a one sided thing.”

 

“Oh, of course not.” He kissed the top of her head. “So, how are you? Nervous?”

 

“Hell yeah! Butterflies, and some caterpillars, too.” Andara laughed, then sighed. “I just wish Lyn could be here tonight.”

 

“She tried, but that’s what happens when you get a good job, you know. It sorta takes over.”

 

“Yeah, I know. But she’s happy. She wanted to take pictures. She likes it.”

 

“And she’s very good at it.”

 

“Yeah.” She looked up at Alex and realized that even though most of her life was a dream she’d never had, the important parts had come true. She had someone who loved her, she had a good job, good friends and she was living her life all on her own. She was making it when no one thought she would do anything. “Life is good,” she told him, softly.

 

“Yeah... and it’ll be even better if you take home this award.”

 

Award in hand, Andara and Alex were off. There were musicians around and stars, real stars with Hollywood credentials and a list of films as long as their arms, and they had parties. The two tried to stop at everyone and finally made it back, tired. Alex’s loft was vacant, their bodies taking up the large bed in Andara and Marilyn’s new beach house. The sound of the water, the waves crashing came inside. Through the open patio doors, the night air, full of the sea, drifted inside. It filled the house and wafted to their noses.

 

Naked, they rolled in the bed, the sheets tangled against their bodies. Andara rolled on top, and the sheet draped across Alex’s chest. She moved it to the side as she ran her hands up and down his torso, her skin gliding across the slickness. She leaned down and kissed him, her hips moving against him. His hands touched her hips, kneading her flesh. She moaned against his mouth. Her eyes opened and she saw his chocolate eyes looking at her. She stayed pressed against his lips, looking into his face. This was her life, how she wanted it, how she loved it. Being connected to someone, not only in body but in spirit. She could feel the pull of him and it spurred her on, making her move faster and faster until she spent herself and collapsed on top of him.

 

Alex rolled her over, kissing her skin. Andara’s breaths were heavy, her lungs burning with the taste of salt air. Finally, Alex moved off of her and pulled him to his arms. She kissed him, then sighed. The night was chilly and even in a different room, the open doors sent the cold air inside.

 

She kissed him again, then went into the living room, still naked, and closed the doors. She came back and laid beside him.

 

“You know,” he said, “you should be more careful going around naked like that.”

 

“It’s my house.”

 

“You live on the beach, baby girl. Peepers and things.”

 

“Oh, posh. Who’d wanna look in here anyway?”

 

Alex grinned, his hand moving down her side. “With a body like this moving around? I’d be a peeper if I didnt’ already get to see it.”

 

“You...” She laughed then kissed him. Her eyelids drooped, and her body relaxed against him. A yawn escaped her lips. Alex touched her hair as he held her close, smoothing the sweat covered strands. It had been a long night and they were both tired. Celebration was fun, but their bodies were finally growing weary and he kept his arms around her as she drifted off, then followed.

 

Chapter 11

 

Andara woke to a familiar clicking sound. She rolled over, the sheet coming up to her neck as she clutched it tightly in her hand. With her head against the pillow, she opened her eyes and murmured, “What are you doing?”

 

“What does it look like?” Alex was beside the bed, camera in hand.

 

“It looks like you’re catching me not at my best.”

 

“Oh, but this is definitely your best.”

 

“Oh really? No makeup, hair a mess... and this is my best?”

 

“Remember when I told you it was you that made the pictures beautiful? I meant it. You’re astounding. And you’re so peaceful when you’re sleeping.”

 

“Aw, how sweet,” she said. Andara smiled softly and extended her hand. Alex lowered his camera and took her hand. She pulled him to the bed and kissed him softly. “You taste like... syrup.”

 

“Mmhm...”

 

“And...” She kissed him again. “Blueberry pancakes.”

 

“Mmhm...”

 

“And...” Another kiss, this one deeper. She stuck out her tongue and the white circle was prominent against pink. “Altoids.”

 

Alex laughed, taking the mint from her tongue and sucking it into his mouth. “Very good.”

 

“You didn’t make me any,” Andara said, sitting up and pouting.

 

“You were sleeping.”

 

“But, still...”

 

“And they would’ve gotten cold,” he told her. Alex sat down on the bed. “But the batter is all ready for you.”

 

“Aw! You’re gonna make me some!”

 

“Of course.”

 

“And sausage? And toast?”

 

“Most models don’t eat near as much as you do,” he said with a laugh.

 

“I’m not most models,” she told him, winking. “I’m Andara!” She giggled as she sat up and pressed her hand against his chest. “And Andara needs lots of food to keep her strength up.”

 

“Mmhm..”

 

“Seriously!”

 

“Uh huh.” Alex kissed her then jumped up from the bed. “Be right back. Gotta make baby girl some breakfast.”

 

Andara giggled, then fell back on the bed. She pulled the sheets up to her nose, taking a deep breath. They still smelled like Alex’s cologne. I could lay here forever, she thought, rolling in the sheets. But... if I do that, then I’d be a hermit and that’s no fun. Sighing, she got up from the bed and slid her feet into fuzzy baby blue slippers. She put on a matching robe and tightened it around her waist, and made her way out to the front area.

 

On the way to the front door, she hit the answering machine, listening to her messages. Andara laughed as Marilyn’s voice came in, screaming about how happy she was that her bestest friend in the whole world had won her first award. Andara opened the door and picked up the newspaper after taking in a deep breath of air. She was away from the smog and could breathe without choking. Her hand slid easily into the mailbox beside the door and she went inside.

 

As Andara flipped through the mail, one envelope caught her eye. It was bright yellow and had no return address. She sat the rest down on the table and opened it, walking into the kitchen.

 

“Alex?” she said as she sat down at the table. “Look at this.” He took the envelope and letter from her, removing the griddle so as not to burn her pancakes and sat down across from her. As he read, his brow creased and he frowned. “Where was this?”

 

“In the mailbox. Mixed in with the other stuff.”

 

“Looks like you’ve got your first obsessed fan,” he said as he dropped it to the table.

 

“I know. It’s... did you read all of that? It was like... whoever it was had been watching me.”

Alex was quiet as he thought about what he’d told her last night. He picked up the letter again. Your skin so soft. Your eyes so pretty. I’d love to be the one to touch you. To wrap you in a blanket when you’re cold. To put my arms around you when you’re just standing... staring. “I don’t want you walking around without anything on, anymore.”

 

“Alex...”

 

“Let Mari know, too. Neither of you walk around here naked. And... don’t sleep with the patio doors open either.”

 

“Alex, aren’t you getting just a little weird? I mean, it’s just a letter. It could just be those pictures I did. Cosmo, remember?”

 

“Yeah, but let’s be on the safe side, okay?”

 

Andara looked at him and sighed. She was grateful that he was worried, but she thought he was being overly so. “You’re burning my sausage,” she told him. Alex looked at her, but stood up and went to the stove. She put her fingertips on the letter and pulled it back to her, reading slowly. If it wasn’t so... weird, it would be nice. “How’d he get my address?” she asked.

 

“You can get almost anything through the internet, baby girl.”

 

“Oh,” she said. “I think I should make sure I get unlisted.”

 

“Good idea.”

 

“And, uh... maybe get an alarm system put in? We keep meaning to, but never get around to it.”

 

“Yeah. I’ll hook you up with my alarm people.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“No problem.” He finished up the sausage as the toast popped up and put all the food on a plate. Alex set it in front of her, kissing her forehead. “Now, eat. You’ve got work to do today. And I’ve gotta get ready for that New York shoot.”

 

Andara looked at him, biting her lower lip. “I’m so used to you just shooting me for so long.”

 

“I know. But, I got contracts with other people.”

 

“I know. I’m being stingy. But... I dunno.”

 

“It’s all good. Just eat up. Then we’ll go and have one of those ‘let’s pretend to be serious’ talks.” Alex grinned at her and Andara laughed.

 

“You’re a nut,” she told him, forking a heap of pancakes in her mouth.

 

“And you, my dear, are greedy as hell.”

 

“Hey!” she said as she swallowed. “I am not! I just need a lot of food!”

 

“Uh huh. Sure.”

 

“You!” She picked up a piece of toast. “If I weren’t hungry, I’d throw this at you. Idiot.” But there was laughter in her voice as she bit down on the bread. There was always laughter when Alex was around.

 

Chapter 12

 

“Oh my God... Alex, look at this!” Her hair in a ponytail, sticking out the back of a baseball cap, Andara picked up a magazine and thrust it into his face. “We’re on the cover!”

 

He laughed as he took it from her. “Sh, you want the world to know you’re here?”

 

“Well...”

 

“Exactly. That’s why you’re in disguise.”

 

“I’m not in disguise. I’m in Audrey gear.” She laughed. “This is just weird. I mean... I’m used to being on a cover, but not like this. I didn’t know my love life was such big news!”

 

“You’re a star, baby girl,” he said with a smile. “You’re always gonna be big news.”

 

“This is just so... it’s so strange. I mean...” Her cell phone rang and she sighed. “One sec. Hello?”

 

“Audrey, you’re all over the cover!”

 

“Lyn! Oh, I know! I’m looking at it now! I can’t believe it!”

 

“Me neither!” Marilyn turned her head for a moment, whispering to someone, then was back. “Sorry about that. It’s hard work doing this on my own, ya know.”

 

“Yeah, well, you’re the one that wanted the gig.”

 

“And don’t think I dont’ love it. It’s great! But... I called about you! Oh my goodness! Is Alex with you?”

 

“Yup! I made him look at the magazine!”

 

“Girl, I knew you’d be big but... not this big! They’re more into that kiss you planted on him than they were that Tom and Nicole got divorced.”

 

“Now, you’re exaggerating.”

 

“I am not. You’re a hot ticket.”

 

“I guess.” Andara turned her head, wondering if people were looking at her. She always felt like there were eyes on her, but the only ones she saw were Alex’s. “Oh, girl, when I get home, I’m gonna have to call you back. There’s something we need to talk about?”

 

“Uh oh. I hear suddenly serious.”

 

“Suddenly Seymour!” Andara sang out and instantly laughed when Alex peeked at her from beneath his glasses.

 

Marilyn laughed. “You’re a model, not a singer. Don’t try and branch out that way.”

 

“Oh shut up! But seriously... I sorta got this weirdo letter today and it freaked Alex, so we’re gonna have to do some of that security stuff. Ya know... the kind famous people do.”

 

“Well, duh, dude. You’re famous.” Marilyn sighed. “And what was in this letter?”

 

“Just weirdo stalker fan stuff.”

 

“Girl, don’t even joke on the stalker tip. Do whatever stuff you gotta while I’m gone. I should be back tomorrow night. I just had to call you about the mag.”

 

“It’s cool, Lyn. Just thought I’d give you a heads up, ya know?”

 

“Yeah...” She sighed as someone called her name. “Look, we’ll talk more later on. I’m being called. Seems Miss Glamour is ready for her closeup.”

 

“Now, see, aren’t you glad I’m not so demanding?”

 

“Girl, you’re a pushover compared to her.” Marilyn laughed. “I’ll talk to ya later. Bye.”

 

“Ciao!” Andara hung up her phone and looked at Alex. “I wanna buy that,” she said, pointing at the magazine. “And this one... and this one and... ooh, look a different angle! Have to have this one!”

 

Alex laughed as he watched his girlfriend pick up magazines. He laughed and smiled watching her do everything. He had said in the beginning of his career that he wouldn’t date models. They were too temperamental and their dietary habits weren’t of the healthy kind, always. But, Andara wasn’t a model to him. She was a beauty that just happened to be caught by the camera, but inside, she was someone who would always be a normal girl, excited about life and seeing herself somewhere. He took the magazines from her and they made their way to the checkout, with Andara telling him all about the tons of things she wanted to buy.

 

From across the mall, eyes watched them as they moved. He was always watching her, waiting for the chance to talk to her. She was rarely ever alone, and he hadn’t gotten the nerve to knock on her door yet. He barely made it to the top of the steps without running away. He never thought himself to be the nervous type, but with Andara, he couldn’t help but shy away. She was lovely and she was sweet and, from her interview in the magazine, she was timid creature with a gentle soul.

 

She was the kind of woman that every man dreamed of having. He remembered some of her favorite movies, all what would typically be called guy movies. She loved sports. She loved fast cars. She had a good time. Yet, still, she was soft and gentle and needed a strong man to support her. He could be that man, if only he had the opportunity. He could be the man that she went to when she needed something. He would be that man one day.

 

Chapter 13

 

Andara sat on the sofa, sighing. Alex, Marilyn and Natalie sat across from her, each holding a letter in their hands. “Three weeks and I get one of these like every day. I’ve called the cops, but all they say is to get a guard dog. I don’t want a fucking guard dog. I want this wack job to stop sending me love letters.”

 

“Dara, they’re letters,” Natalie said, shrugging. “They’re not even threatening. What can they really do? They don’t even have a way to trace them.”

 

“I don’t know!” she said, standing up. “I mean.. it’s getting ridiculous. Look at his!” She picked up a letter. “He doesn’t deserve you. I should be the one that holds you at night. He has the key to your heart and your home. How come I can’t have that? This dirty pervert has been watching me. He’s near my house. He’s out there somewhere. How else would he know that Alex has a key here? He waits for you when you’re not home. I’d do that. I’d wait eternity for you. This is sick and I’m not getting a dog to guard my house. I’m not getting some big idiot to stand at my door, either.”

 

“What do you want me to do, Dara?” Natalie asked, looking up at her.

 

“I don’t know, Nat. I just... I want him to go away.”

 

“I know, you do, hon. All I can do is get you a guard.”

 

“I don’t want that! Ugh!” Andara plopped down on the sofa and put her arm over her eyes. “I don’t want my life disrupted. I like being able to go to the mall if I want to and just having to dress down. I’ll draw all sorts of attention if some big guy is following me around, ya know?”

Alex walked over to her and knelt beside the sofa. He put a hand on her knee and she looked at him. “I have a shoot next week, but I’m going to cancel it. Both Marilyn and me would be gone and you’d be left here alone.”

 

“Alex, no,” she said. “I don’t want your life disrupted either.”

 

“You’re not a disruption. I love you.”

 

She bit down on her lip. She seemed to do that a lot. “I love you, too. I just... this isn’t fair.”

 

“Remember what I said before? Life ain’t fair.”

 

“But it should be. I mean... why is this weirdo after me anyway?”

 

“Because you’re a hot ticket,” Marilyn told her. “You’re hot, you’re out there and he wants in on the action. Well, dammit, he can’t have in because this is not his place to be. Let him get another set of coat tails to ride and another house to stalk because he ain’t stalkin’ this one.”

 

“Lyn...”

 

“Uh uh. We’ve got the alarm. You make sure it’s always on, no matter what. Whether you’re in the house or not. We can’t be here all the time and I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

 

“What’s he gonna do? Sonnet me to death?”

 

“Come on, Audrey,” she said, sighing. “You watch TV. And remember... there was that one who was...” She was quiet as Alex’s eyes turned on her, blazing. “Somebody’s got to say it. Stalkers can get real serious if they don’t get what they want, Audrey. So, if you have to get a big ugly dude to follow you, then you get it, you hear me?”

 

“Lyn...”

 

“I’m serious, Aud. Get it.”

 

She sighed. “I won’t need it. I have the alarm. And... I don’t have anything planned while you guys are gone.”

 

“So you’ll be here? Safe?”

 

“I’ll be here. Alarm on. I’ll even get the stupid guard dog.”

 

“Good.” She stood up and let out a deep breath. “Now, unfortunately, I have to get to work. And Natalie, it’s your girl, so you make sure she’s there on time for once?”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” the agent said, nodding.

 

“I’m serious.” Marilyn walked off, mumbling. Natalie excused herself and got on the phone. Alex stayed beside Andara and sighed. “I really want to stay here with you.”

 

“You can’t.”

 

“But...”

 

“Alex, you can’t just put things aside for me. You have a job to do.”

 

“I know. I just...”

 

“You’re worried and I’m grateful. But... I’ll be okay. He’s harmless. I’m just... frustrated.”

 

“Yeah... I know.”

 

Andara smiled at him. “I’ll be fine, baby. I promise.” She leaned down and kissed his nose. “Now, why don’t you take me shopping? It’ll make me feel so much better.”

 

Chapter 14

 

He watched them all leave. Everyone liked beachfront property. He liked it. It had windows, lots of windows. Unfortunately, she’d stopped walking aroung with nothing on and deprived him of the view of her delectable body. But, he’d get to see it again. Everyone was gone. She was alone. No roommate. No boyfriend. He’d seen them bring in the dog. Maybe she got lonely. Needed someone there. Didn’t she know that if he had the chance, he’d always be there? He’d never leave her alone. He’d always be there.

 

Andara laid in the bed, her eyes open, staring at the ceiling. The bed was cold and lonely without Alex there. The house was eerily quiet without Marilyn there. She had never noticed it before, but with the letters still coming regularly, she realized just how alone she was in the large house. Her eyes drifted to the empty pillow beside her. It never bothered her before. She always knew that Alex was only a phone call away and she could go to him or he could come to her. She had thought about asking him to move in, but she wasn’t sure. He loved being in his loft, close to his studio. She didn’t want to ask him to choose, but really, would she be? The loft would still be there. The studio would still be there. They could move between the two, and still have a place to go when they needed time alone.

 

Andara took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. She smelled salt air. “Shit.” She groaned as she slid her feet into her slippers. She moved out to the other room and the patio doors were open. The dog was nowhere around, then she remembered him curled up beside her bed. Sighing, she closed the doors, then made her way back to the bed. She laid on the side that Alex usually occupied and curled the covers tightly around her neck, letting her eyes droop as she fell into slumber.

 

It was quiet inside of the house as he made his way through. The alarm was on but he’d easily figured out the code and made his way inside. All that time in working in security had paid off. He went quietly through the house, taking in the surroundings. The white carpeting was nice. He’d taken his shoes off so as not to track sand inside and the plushness caressed his feet. The bedroom door was open and he easily slid inside.

 

She’s so beautful. Sleeping so peacefully. All alone in that bed. It’s just not right. I could just climb in beside her and she’d probably curl up against me. It would be so nice... feeling her touching me, holding me. Her hair against me. Mmm... God, yeah, that’d be good.

 

He moved around the bed then saw the dog. Its head was up. He was growling at him, his teeth bared. He stepped back as the dog stood. “Sh... Good dog. Good dog...” The barking began and Andara stirred. She groaned as she rolled over. The sheets slipped from her, showing a pale arm. Satin from her thin top moved softly over her skin. The dog barked again.

 

Andara sat up and the room was empty. The dog was standing, growling, barking. Andara stood up and went to the animal, petting him. The dog shook himself, then moved through the house. She followed him. He perched himself at the closed patio doors and barked. She looked down at him, then to the door. The latch was up and she shrugged. “Okay, okay, so I forgot to lock it,” she muttered as she moved it into position. “Happy now?” She checked the alarm one more time then went back to bed. The dog stayed where he was.

 

Chapter 15

 

Andara rolled over, her eyes begging to stay closed, body wanting to sleep more. She reached for the phone. The dog barked as the clock fell from the table and hit his back. “Shut up, Tiger,” she growled as she put the receiver to her ear. Groggily, she said, “What?”

 

“Whoa, baby girl.”

 

“Oh, Alex. Hey.” She groaned, rolling over in the bed and pulling the covers up.

 

“That’s all I get?”

 

“I’m tired and sleepy. What can I say?”

 

“Sleepy? It’s almost noon.”

 

“Oh. It is? Well.. I have nowhere to go so I can sleep all day if I want.” Tiger started to bark again and ran from the room. Andara growled. “Stupid dog is getting on my nerves.”

 

“What’s wrong with the dog?” Alex asked.

 

“Paranoia.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“I left the stupid patio doors open last night.”

 

“Andi...”

 

“I closed ‘em! Stupid mutt wouldn’t stop barking, though. Then I dropped something on him trying to answer the phone. Last I saw him he was perched at the doors all night. Damn thing. Now, he’s off again on a damn barking tangent.”

 

“Maybe there’s something wrong. Remember what the trainer said.”

 

“Yeah, yeah. Did you want something or were you just calling to lecture me?”

 

“I was calling to see if you were alright. I’m on a break and wanted to talk to you.”

 

“Oh, how sweet.” She yawned. “I’m fine. Sleepy as hell, but I’m fine, baby, really.”

 

“You sure?”

 

“Yeah.” She stopped, listening then said, “And the dog has shut up. That’s even better.”

 

“Why don’t I let you get back to sleep?”

 

“Very good idea, babe.”

 

“Okay. Oh, wait... Nat’s gonna come and check up on you today sometime. Make sure everything’s going okay.” Andara groaned. “Stop that. Besides, she’s got work to talk to. Something about the Bahamas?” Alex smirked as he leaned back in his chair. “You... bikini.. covered in sand... the water... mmm...”

 

“Alex!” Tired as she was, she couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re such a perv!”

 

“I have to think about it,” he said with a laugh. “I won’t be there.”

 

“Aw...”

 

“I know. But you’re famous now. People have their own people they wanna use and you have to learn to work with others.”

 

“I guess.”

 

“No guessing. Now, you go back to sleep.”

 

“Yeah, right. Like I’m gonna sleep now.”

“Well, get up and walk around.”

 

“You’re helpful.”

 

“I know. I gotta run, baby girl. Work calls.”

 

“Alrighty. Love you.”

 

“Love you, too. Bye.”

 

Andara hung up the phone and laid back on the bed. She stared at the ceiling, contemplating her next move. Getting up would be the right thing to do, but then again, staying in bed would be the relaxing thing to do. She didn’t get to sleep in much, though technically, since it was almost noon, she had already slept in. Groaning, Andara decided to get up. Mostly, the decision was made by the low growl of her stomach that seemed to be begging for Cap’n Crunch with Crunch Berries.

 

She stood from the bed, stretching. Her feet slid easily into her slippers. She thought about putting on the robe, but just shrugged. She said she wouldn’t walk around naked. Well... she wasn’t naked. She had on clothes. Rubbing her eyes, Andara moved through the empty house. She was halfway to the kitchen when she spotted Tiger, laying on the floor. He looked asleep, which was odd since he’d just been barking his head off. She went to him and knelt beside him. She touched the side of his head and her fingers came away bloody. What the... She tried to move his head and it just moved to the side. “Shit!” She stood up quickly, whirling around to find a phone, then stopped again, seeing someone standing across from her. “Who are you? What are you doing in my house?”

 

“Didn’t you get my letters, Andara?”

 

Her face went pale. “You... You sent... You should leave.”

 

“You shouldn’t be alone.”

 

“Um... I’m not. I’m just waiting for my boyfriend. He should be here any minute now.”

 

“I know you’re lying, Andara. He’s not even in the state.” He sighed. “Why do you lie to me? Why won’t you let me love you?”

 

Andara started to move backwards. The man was definitely weird. Stalker! Stalker! The marquee flashed in her head. She moved backwards too much and tripped over Tiger, falling to the floor. “What do you want?” she asked, her voice shaking.

 

“I want you.”

 

“You... You can’t have me. I... I already... You should really leave.”

 

A face that had just been gentle suddenly turned angry. “Are you too good for me? Is he better than me? What can he do for you that I can’t?” Andara’s eyes widened as she crab-walked away. Her back hit the patio doors and her hands instantly went up, trying to get them open. “The pretty model can’t sink down to the level of normal people?”

 

“I... I didn’t say that. I just... please... just... just leave...”

 

“I’m not going anywhere.” He moved to her and was on her in an instant. Andara screamed as he grabbed her and rode her down to the floor, pinning her arms down with one hand.

 

“Please,” she begged him. “Don’t do this. Please. I... I won’t tell anyone you were here. Please!”

 

“I’m not stupid, Andara.” Her eyes watched as he pulled something out of his pocket. He hit a switch and a silver blade popped out. Tears came from her eyes. “You’re too pretty for me? Too beautiful? You’ll be begging me to take you when your precious Alex sees you!” He held the blade next to her left cheek and she screamed. Her eyes burned with tears as the blade bit into her skin. She screamed until she was hoarse, only to scream more as he moved her face and slit her other cheek, deeply. Blood trickled down her face as she cried. The salty tears entering the cuts burned and she screamed more.

 

Tiger began to stir and the man looked to him. He looked back to Andara. Her face was covered in blood and tears. She was trying to scream but her voice was all but gone. He stood up, looking down at her.

 

“Oh shit,” he muttered. He looked to the knife in his hand and dropped it to the floor. He started to move away from her slowly when the doorbell rang.

 

“Fuck!” Quickly, he ran from the house, out the patio doors. Tiger finally made it to his feet, shaking himself. He saw Andara and started to whimper. He went to her, licking her face, which only made her cry harder. The banging at the door became louder and Tiger started to bark. Natalie pulled out her key, and quickly entered. She saw nothing at first, and moved through the house. She saw Andara on the floor and ran to her. She looked up and the doors were open.

 

“Shit shit shit!” she screamed as she fell to the floor next to her. “It’s gonna be okay,” she told her, rubbing her hair softly as she pulled out her phone and dialed the police. She gave them the address and told them to hurry and dropped the phone. She saw the bloody knife on the floor and left it where it was. Andara was crying hard and Natalie could hear words mixed in. She was calling for Alex. She was calling for Marilyn. She was pleading for someone to go away. Natalie’s heart broke at the sounds. She placed the young model’s head in her lap and tried to soothe her until the police got there.

 

Chapter 16

 

“Tell me again what happened.”

 

Natalie looked up at the police officer that stared down at her. She was covered in Andara’s blood, her skin was pale, her body was shaking, but he wanted her to say it again, when she knew she’d just be telling the story at least two more times. With a sigh, she began. “I showed up and I knocked. No answer. I heard the dog barking so I used my key and went inside. When I got there she was laying on the floor, her face all cut up, and crying.”

 

“Did you see anyone?”

 

“For the millionth time, no. It was just her and the dog when I got in. The patio doors were open. But it was just her and the dog. A rather bloody dog might I add who looks like he was attacked to.” She sighed, angrily. “Are you done now?”

 

“With you? I believe so. But we’re going to have to talk to Ms...”

 

“Andara.”

 

“Before we leave.”

 

“Well, you’re just going to have to wait because she’s still being stitched up. Unless of course, you’re planning on storming into the OR and having them pull her out of anesthesia so you can ask her some ridiculous questions.” She stood up and began to walk back and forth. The detective watched her, and was quiet. She was upset, and upset people, he’d learned over the years, could get volatile.

 

Natalie turned at the sound of her name and ran. Alex caught her in his arms and hugged her tightly. He pulled away. His eyes were bare and the pain and anger in them was raw. “What happened, Natalie? What the fuck happened!”

 

“Alex.. I...”

 

“No. No no no. She... my God, she’s... What happened?”

 

With a deep breath, she went about explaining the situation again, concluding with Andara still being in surgery. Alex’s hands balled into fists. The vein in the side of his neck pulsed. His eyes burned, both with fury and the need to shed tears. “Son of a bitch!” he yelled. “I knew I shouldn’t have left!”

 

“Alex, stop it!” Natalie said. “You know you can’t be with her 24/7. I just... I wish I hadn’t gotten there earlier.”

 

“It’s not your fault. God, Nat, I just talked to her this morning. Well, afternoon. She was still in bed. She said that Tiger had been acting funny. I should have known something was going on. I should’ve... ugh!” He threw his hands in the air in disgust. “I should’ve been able to protect her from that IDIOT!”

 

The detective walked over while AJ was ranting. “Excuse me. I’m Detective Rollins. You’re the boyfriend, right?”

 

“Yes, I’m the boyfriend. The one that wasn’t there so doesn’t know shit. What do you want?”

 

“Ms. Lattimore told me that Andara received letters, but they were never threatening. Can you tell me anymore about them?”

 

“Oh, so NOW you want to know about the letters. I’ll tell you about the letters. They came every fucking day for over a month. She took them to you people who told her to get a fucking dog. A fucking dog! You didn’t do shit, so don’t come asking me asinine questions.”

 

“Mr...”

 

“McLean.”

 

“McLean... please, I understand you’re upset...”

 

“You don’t understand jack SHIT! You here me? You understand NOTHING. Now, leave me alone before I...”

 

Alex stopped as a doctor began to walk down the hall. She was heading straight for them. Alex rushed over to her and asked, quickly, “How is she? Please tell me she’s okay.”

 

“I’m Dr. Rush,” the woman told him. “The surgery went well. We had to stitch up the insides of her cheeks, then more on the outside. While she’ll recover...” She stopped, taking a deep breath. Alex and Natalie watched her intently. “The scarring... there’s nothing I can do about that. The cuts were extremely deep. She’s going to be in pain and there will be scars. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more, but a plastic surgeon...”

 

“Plastic surgeon my ass!” Natalie yelled. “She’s gonna... God, her career is ruined!”

 

“Nat!”

 

“Look, Alex, I’m her agent, first and foremost and her career is shot if she’s all scarred up.”

 

“You do something,” he told her. “You start calling plastic surgeons now. The best there is.” He turned back to the doctor. “When can I see her?”

 

“She’s being moved into recovery now. She’ll still be under for hours, but as soon as she’s settled in, I’ll have someone let you know.”

 

He looked at her, his body shaking with anger over what had happened, then turned and walked away. “I have to call Mari.”

 

“I already did that. She’s catching the first flight in. Hopefully, she’ll be here soon.” Natalie’s mind clicked and she turned to the detective. “You... you should be finding this son of a bitch. You’ve got the knife he used. Go and do whatever you people do and get prints or something and get this bastard.”

 

“Ms. Lattimore, I’ve already done that. The results...”

 

“Will tell you where to find this sick fuck!”

 

“...again, supermodel Andara is in the hospital after being attacked in her home. Sources say her face was horribly mangled. We are awaiting word now as to...”

Natalie and Alex both stopped and stared at the television screen that played in the waiting room. They turned to one another, growling. “Who the FUCK are these sources!” Alex yelled.

 

“I don’t know,” she told him, her voice low, “but when I find out... lawsuits up the ass!”

 

“Goddammit! She can’t even have privacy now. Sons of bitches!”

 

“I can’t believe those goddamned people! They couldnt’ even...” She growled, then pulled out her cellular, dialing abruptly. “Damage control. Right fucking now.” She slammed the phone shut.

 

“Who was that?”

 

“Press agent. I’m gonna take care of this shit right now.”

 

They stood silent, staring at the screen for a while until Dr. Rush came out again. “Mr. McLean, you can see her now.”

 

“Thank you,” he said, then left to follow the doctor down the hallways. Natalie sat in a chair and began to dial again, muttering about law suits, assholes and tearing new ones.

 

Chapter 17

 

Hours later, Alex was still seated in the uncomfortable chair beside the bed. His hand was Andara’s. His eyes watered as he looked at her face. The bandages covered most of her and he could only imagine what she looked like beneath them. What had she done to deserve any of this? She’d only been famous, been beautiful, all while managing to somehow keep hold to her Audrey side. She said it so much. “My name is Audrey. My persona is Andara. But you can call me Andi, cause it’s way cute and you probably couldn’t come up with something short that was cute from Audrey anyway.” She’d always smile and he’d just call her baby girl. She loved that. She said it often enough, but the way her face lit up when he said it showed more than anything. And there she was, his baby girl, laying in a bed with the life she’d just been able to accept possibly ripped away.

 

Alex moved his thumb in circles on her palm. Her skin was so warm. He remembered her warm touch while she was sleeping. She’d always move a little, respond somehow to his hand on her. “I’m here, baby girl,” he whispered softly. “I wasn’t before but I’m here now and it’ll all be okay because I’m here and I love you and...”

 

Her head moved slightly and Andara groaned. She went to turn her head and was stopped by the heaviness. Without opening her eyes, she pulled her hand from Alex’s and touched her face. Her eyes flew open as she felt the bandages. “Baby girl?” She carefully moved to be able to see him and tears started to fall. “I-it was real. Wasn’t it?” He nodded slowly. “God... my face. I... it hurt.”

 

“Baby girl, I’m so sorry.” A tear streaked his left cheek. “I should have been there. I’m going to be there for now on. I won’t leave you again, Andi.”

She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Dont’ call me that,” she whispered, groggily.

“What?”

 

“Andi. Dara. Andara... Call me Audrey.”

 

“Andi...”

 

“No. This...” She gestured to her face. “...was Andara. It’s gone now. I’m back to Audrey.”

 

“Baby, dont’ say that. We can get it fixed. You can be good as new.”

 

“I don’t want to be.”

 

“You...”

 

“I don’t want to be. I knew I wasn’t meant to do this. It’s true. Look at me. I... Oh God.” She closed her eyes and cried, turning her head away. Alex didn’t know what to say. She was in shock. She was upset. He knew all of that. But her voice had managed to be so controlled. So sure. But he didn’t want to let her give up. That would mean that the asshole that cut her up would win and that couldn’t happen. He wanted to tell her all of that, but the words wouldn’t come out. So, he sat there, watching her. He touched her hand again. She was still. He stood to look at her turned face and she’d fallen back to sleep. Alex laid a gentle kiss on her hand then left the room.

 

By the time Alex had come out of the room, Marilyn had showed up. She was sitting beside Natalie, quiet. She’d already screamed. She’d cursed. She’d sworn death on any fucking son of a bitch that laid their depraved hands on her friend every again. All there was left for her to do was cry and say how she should have been home. She sounded so much Alex had, one would think they were twins or at least somehow joined at the mind. When she saw him coming towards her, she stood up. The sadness in his face made her wrap her arms around his waist and hold him close. They held each other silently for two minutes, then pulled apart.

 

“She’s giving up,” he said softly. The women looked at him confused. “I think it’s the shock of everything. She’s just hurt and upset and... but she’s giving up Andara. She said... before she went back to sleep... she’s going back to Audrey. She doesn’t want to be Andara anymore.”

Natalie gasped but Marilyn sighed. “I knew something... Ugh. She’s like that. I mean, not the give up kind, but... can you really blame her? I mean, she’s in a hospital. Her face... she’s scared, Alex. She’s scared of what else could happen to her.”

 

“Don’t you think I’m scared, too?”

 

“We’re all scared. But it happened to her.” She sighed. “Show me her room?”

 

With a shrug, Alex took her down the hallway, around the corner, through corridors. They stopped at the doorway and he let Marilyn go inside. He stayed where he was, peering through the glass. Marilyn looked at Andara and almost collapsed. Her heart was ready to stop as she watched her friend sleeping, her face in tatters beneath the thick bandages. She’d gone to sleep with a tear in her eye and it had fallen to soak into the bandages. Slowly, Marilyn walked to the bed. She didn’t sit down.

 

“I’m sorry, honey. I”m so sorry. I just... I wish this hadn’t happened to you. It shouldn’t have. I’m not gonna say I shouldn’t have been there because if you were awake, you would just argue with me. But... I don’t want you to give up, sweetie. You’ll end up as good as new. I know you’re scared. We all are. You just need time. To heal... inside and out.” She leaned down and kissed a free patch of Andara’s hair. “I love you, honey.” She turned and went back out. “I can’t sit in there and look at her like that. I don’t wanna cry in front of her and I know I will if I’m in there, ya know?”

 

Alex nodded.

 

“I, uh... I’m gonna... I’m gonna stand out here and cry.” She pressed her head against his chest and let the tears come. And on top of her head, Alex’s salty drops fell down and soaked her hair.

 

Chapter 18

 

She thought she’d be able to rest when she got out of the hospital. She wanted to rest. No, what she wanted to do was bury herself underground and never be seen again. The day they took her bandages off, she thought she was going to cry. It was because she’d begged to see it that they’d given her a mirror. With the stitches, it would of course be rebandaged, with smaller gauze, but she wanted to see. Andara wished that she hadn’t. She couldn’t even cry about it. She could only stare at her scarred face, the staples in her cheeks bright against her graying skin. She had closed her eyes and when they opened again, she was laying in the bed, having passed out.

 

But, no, she didn’t want to be outside. She didn’t want the media circling her house, using her as a story for ratings and to further their own careers. She didn’t want the calls from MTV, sorry that she wouldn’t be able to appear on House of Style. And the last thing she wanted was to be sitting behind a two way mirror as men marched in file into the room. She didn’t understand why they needed her there. They had his fingerprints on the weapon. There was no need to put her through it.

 

Andara saw his face and stood so fast that the chair toppled behind her. She closed her eyes, covered her face, but all she saw was him hovering over her, the knife pressed against her cheek, the ripping of her flesh. “He... he...” Alex was with her and he put his arms around her. “Baby girl, calm down. It’s Alex,” he told her as she fought. “It’s Alex. Come on, baby girl. Just... he can’t see you... Just point him out then you can go home.” Shakily, she turned around and pointed. “Him... N-number... 6...”

“Are you sure?” she was asked.

 

“Of course, I’m sure! He fucking cut me up! I know what he looks like. IT’s him!”

 

Alex held her tighter, whispering. He looked to the detective and waited, then once given permission, he walked Andara out and took her to the car. She huddled in her seat, not speaking, until they got home. The reporters hit the car in a flurry. The sounds of the bodies rushing against metal made her cringe. She turned away from the window and put her head down. “Go away,” she muttered. “Leave me alone and go away.”

 

Alex got out of the car and shoved the reporters aside. He went to Andara’s side and pulled her out of the car. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders as she huddled. Questions were thrown at them.

 

“Andara! Will you model again!”

 

“Have the police caught him!”

 

“How did he get into your house!”

 

“How do you feel knowing that you’ve been invaded!”

 

The walking couple stopped as Andara stood up straight, still. She turned to the reporters and growled. “How the FUCK do you think I feel? How would YOU feel if someone had come into your home and slashed your face? Get the FUCK off of my property you fucking bastards! I will NOT help you and your fucking ratings! Leave now, goddammit, before I call the police! This is private property and you’re trespassing!” She took a step towards them. “Get!” They all watched, stunned, as she went inside of her house, slamming the door.

 

“And--”

 

“Don’t, Alex.”

 

He sighed. “Audrey.” Just saying it made his heart drop with a feeling that she was giving up completely. “Let me lay you down and...”

 

“And nothing. I’m gonna go hide in my bed. Maybe I’ll wake up and it’ll all have been a nightmare.”

 

She walked off and Alex could only stare behind her. Day by day, she was getting worse and worse. He was almost waiting for the day that she told him to go away. He wouldn’t, of course, but he thought it might come and he had to be ready. No matter what she looked like, what she wanted to call herself, he was in love with her. To him, she was still gorgeous and he just wondered how he could make her realize that.

 

Chapter 19

 

“Ten years. That’s all he gets? Ten?”

 

“Chill, Lyn. Please.”

 

“Chill my ass, Audrey. It’s only ten fucking years. What if he gets paroled? What if...”

 

“I’d rather not think about that.”

 

Andara sat down and sighed. As she’d done since the staples came out, she fingered the scars on her face. Twin diagonal lines marred her caramel flesh. Natalie had made the appointment for her with the plastic surgeon but that didn’t lighten her mood. It wouldn’t make her forget they were there. Nothing would be able to do that.

 

“Stop touching them,” Marilyn told her, groaning.

 

“Huh?”

 

“Stop playing with it. They’ll get infected.”

 

“My hands are clean.”

 

“Yeah, but still... just stop it.” She sighed then picked up a camera, seated on the table. “Now, I need your help with something.”

 

“What? Lyn needs my help? I’d better call Guiness!”

 

“You’re not funny, dude. But seriously... I need you to help me test out this new camera.”

Andara looked at her, tilting her head. “Just what kind of test?”

 

“Well, I need to take some pictures and...”

 

“Uh uh. There’s no way in hell.”

 

“Audrey!”

 

“No! You are not taking pictures of me. I don’t do pictures anymore, remember?”

Marilyn sighed. “Please? It’s not like anyone will see them but me.”

 

“No, Lyn.”

 

“Dammit, Audrey, you’ve got to get over this. I know you’re upset. So am I. We both wanna kill the fucker that did this, but goddammit, Audrey, you have to go on with your life.”

 

“I am.”

 

“No, you’re hiding.”

 

“Whatever.”

 

“You have to make a life, Aud. You have to work and go out and get air and...”

 

“I don’t have to do anything. I just want to...”

 

“Go and sleep all day. I know. It’s all you do unless Alex comes, and then you STILL stay in the room all day. You have to stop it.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because if you don’t, you’re going to drive yourself insane.”

 

“Sorry to tell you, Lyn, but I’ve been insane for years now.” Andara stood and walked off.

 

Marilyn rose her camera and clicked, photographing her leaving form. She stuck her tongue out, but it was only out of childish frustration. It hurt her to see Andara wasting her life away. She’d been telling her for months that she’d be a hot ticket again. It wasn’t even gonna take as long as the surgery. She was still beautiful. If you looked past the scars and took in the lips, the eyes, the nose... she was a phenomenon. But all Andara saw when she looked in the mirror were the scars. “They won’t be there forever,” Marilyn said softly as she sat down. “Then you’ll get over this whole thing. But, that’s taking way too long.”

 

Chapter 20

 

Andara was asleep. More time had passed, but still she was asleep like always. Her scars were gone, the only reminders of them in her mind and on the news whenever the talk of the “missing superstar” flashed across the screen. She was amazed that people still even thought about her. But, then again, she’d become a recluse and they always talked about those. Still, though, with all of the crime in Los Angeles, one would think they’d find something else to talk about.

 

She stirred as she heard a familiar noise, a noise that she had sworn she’d never hear again. One eye peeked open and she groaned. “Alex, what in the hell are you doing.”

 

“Are we gonna have this conversation again? We already went through it the first time, remember?”

 

“You know I don’t want pictures. I don’t like pictures.”

 

“You loved pictures.”

 

“That was before.”

 

Alex stood up straight and sighed. “It’s been like six months now, Andi...”

 

“Alex...”

 

“No. I’m getting you used to being called by your star name again. I’ve been calling you Audrey for months and I’m actually used to it. But those people out there, your fans, your critics, they know you as Andara and when you make your appearance again...”

 

“I’m not making an appearance.”

 

“...they’ll be looking for Andara and not Audrey,” he said, continuing.

 

Andara sat up and shook her head. He was so persistent. Always was. She’d told him to leave before, to go away and not come back. Find someone gorgeous, someone that would be seen outside, that he could go out with and not have to worry about having a breakdown if someone touched her. He’d declined. Persistent little fucker that he was. He wouldn’t go anywhere. He was staying right where he was and nothing and nobody was going to stop him. “Alex, I can’t do it anymore.”

 

“Why?”

 

“My face.”

 

“It’s gorgeous. Just like before.”

 

“The scars.”

 

“They’re gone.”

 

“Not to me. I know where they are, under the new skin. Or off somewhere from whatever the lasers did. But that doesn’t change that they’re not there. They’ll always be there.”

 

He moved to the bed and sat down beside her. Alex took her hand then leaned in and kissed both of her cheeks. “You can’t let him win, baby girl.”

 

“I’m not...”

 

He cut her off. “Yes, you are. You’re letting him destroy your life, so he wins. You can’t let him win. You have to go on.”

 

A tear fell from her eye. “I don’t know how,” she said.

 

“You go on by living your life. You loved taking pictures. You loved the attention.”

 

“I loved being with you, working with you.”

 

“And you’ll still be with me. You’ll still work with me. And a hundred others that will all say what I do. That you’re the most beautiful woman in the world.”

 

“But, I’m not,” she said softly.

 

“You are. You’ll always be. Baby girl, I love you more than you will ever know.”

 

“I love you, too,” she whispered.

 

“Please, don’t let yourself waste away. I just... I want you to smile again. I want you to be happy again. I want... I want you to... to live, baby girl.”

 

“Alex... I... I don’t know.” She moved away as he stood from the bed and Andara pulled the covers up to her neck and drew her knees up. She rested her chin on her knees and looked up. As her eyes turned to him, Alex stepped back and took a picture. “Alex... don’t.”

 

“You’re as gorgeous as the first time you walked into the studio.”

 

“You never said I was pretty when I walked in.”

 

“You weren’t. You were gorgeous.” He smiled and clicked the camera again. “The innocense in you.. it’s always made you the best.” He took another picture. Andara almost turned away but something in her told her that he was right. She’d never admit it out loud, but she realized that she couldn’t hide anymore. She was letting him win. The man had tried to steal her beauty and she was letting him. Her face remained towards Alex.

 

“That’s right, baby girl... look at me. Put that sweetness in your eyes.” His finger pressed rapidly on the button. “Oh yeah... just like that. Tilt your... exactly. You’re fantastic at this, baby girl.”

 

Fantastic, she thought. Doubtful. Pretty good. Out of practice. But fantastic? Hardly. But still... she moved when asked and she took each picture like it would be the one to take the cover of Vogue. She was going to win. She liked to win. Besides... Alex had taken her first pictures of her career... Shouldn’t he be the one to take the first of her revived one?

 

Epilogue

 

“You’ve got House of Style next week. You’re shooting in the Bahamas with Marilyn the week after. It’ll be a bunch of you for a calendar. You’ve got the Times Square billboard tomorrow. And then...”

 

Andara laughed. It was nice to laugh. Refreshing. Revitalizing. “Hold on, wait a minute. You’ve got me booked what... through the end of the year?”

 

“Not yet, girl, but I’m working on it.”

 

“Nat, you’re nuts. You’re gonna overwork me.”

 

“Dear, I hardly call playtime in the Bahamas work.”

 

“Well, you try getting up before dawn to catch the sun and THEN tell me it’s not work.”

 

“Oh... just shut up and listen!”

 

Andara laughed as Natalie began to rattle off again, saying dates that the model wasn’t writing down and would certainly forget, only to be reminded later. But... she just might remember the Bahamas.

 

“MTV Spring Break in Cancun. Now, that oughta be fun,” Andara said, interrupting again. “What do I get to do?”

 

“Be pretty, of course,” Natalie said with a laugh. “And you’ll get to meet people and there’s something about you hosting a small spring break show. I’m tellin’ ya, babe, you’re even hotter now than before. Did you read the latest headlines? Model comes back, revived, redone and spectacular. That’s you, sweetheart. All you.”

 

“I guess.” She looked up as Alex came in with a cup of coffee and handed it to her, kissing her cheek. “Thanks, baby,” she said softly.

 

He smiled then looked to Natalie. “You know she won’t remember most of this, right?”

 

“Of course. That’s why I call her and remind her often.”

 

“Then what’s the point of all the business now?”

 

“It’s an agent thing. We’re overzealous.” She winked. “Now, listen up... you’ll be in Cancun, too, so I don’t want either one of you out partying all night with those spring breakers. And... don’t let Jerry Springer talk you into going on his show. That would be a fiasco I don’t wanna see.”

 

“Aw, but I like Jerry!” Alex said laughing.

 

Andara put down her cup, careful not to spill as she laughed. She balled a fist and rose her arm, thrusting it back and forth. “Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!”

 

“Uh huh... you two are idiots. That’s why you don’t need to be with Springer.”

 

“Oh, whatever, Nat,” Andara told her. “Now, are we done?”

 

“No.”

 

“Too bad, cause I”m done. I’ve got a shoot tomorrow and I’m tired and I wanna go to bed.” Andara left the room and Natalie and Alex were alone.

 

Natalie looked to the photographer. “Thanks.”

 

“For what?” he asked as he took a seat.

 

“Getting her back.”

 

“She was never lost, Nat.”

 

“Yes, she was. Inside of herself. You brought her back out. I knew I was right in getting you to be her camera guy.”

 

Alex shrugged and smirked. “What can I say? She saw a few snapshots of herself and went crazy. I told you... I can make anybody a star.”

 

“You certainly made me a new one.”

 

“Nah... I just brought back to life the old one.” He smiled, happy with himself and finally able to relax. Andara was back. He’d had a visit with Audrey and it was no doubt they were the same person. But, like he’d told her in the beginning, she’d always be Andara to those who saw her in a picture or on the catwalk. He’d worked with plenty girls who thought they weren’t model material and it always ended the same. Let ‘em see a few snapshots and it was in their blood. It was in Andara’s, coursing through her veins, and Alex knew that it would never stop. She was meant to be a star. Fate, destiny, kizmit, whatever. It was written in the stars that she would be fabulous, and around those stars formed a great heart that symbolized the couple’s fate... And in the distance, not too far away, he wondered if, with the right telescope, he’d see the small camera that took the shots and snapped away, capturing every moment of everything as destiny made it’s way across the sky.

 

The End

 

Please tell Carm what you thought of this story!