Still

By:  Lara

 

 

Thousands of people live in this town/And I had to run into him/When I saw him there on that busy street/Those feelings came back again…

 

 

“Oh what fun it is to ride…” Lara hummed along with the song on the radio as she drove up to the municipal parking lot.  She found an empty meter and fed quarters into the slot.  She normally hated Christmas shopping, but for some reason she was in an exceptionally good mood that day.  “Okay…let’s see…” she pulled the list from her pocket.  “Lisa and Kevin…Kelley and Howie…Shelley and Justin…God, WHY do I have so many friends and WHY do I like them enough to give them presents.”  She giggled as she realized she was talking out loud.  The Salvation Army bell-ringer gave her an odd look but continued his metallic cadence.

She strolled down the busy street made even busier by the impending holiday. This was the street in town with the most shops, and Lara swore that every person IN town was on THAT street at THAT moment.  She stopped in front of a jewelry store and sighed.  Diamonds and rubies and emeralds twinkled against the crushed velvet of the display.  She lightly laid a finger on the glass, gently tracing the outline of one ring in particular, a simple diamond solitaire.  At one time that ring was on her finger, or at least one like it.  Now her finger was empty, as was her heart and the place under her tree reserved for presents only a man could give.  She sighed and squared her shoulders.  No way.  No way was she going to let this get to her.  It had been over a year now, and the decision had been the right one.  Things weren’t right, and there had been no good reason to go on.

“Except for that I loved him…still love him…” Lara whispered.  She sighed again and turned away from the window. 

 

There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide/he walked up to me looked in my eyes and still/the world stood still/I couldn’t move and all I could feel was this aching in my heart/Saying I loved him still…

 

That’s when she saw him.  He wore a black winter coat and black leather gloves.  His ears were slightly red from the cold winter breeze, and his cheeks were pink as well.  The collar of the coat was turned up high, and it almost hid his face as he looked in the window of the nearby bookstore.  There was no mistaking him, however.  It was him.  It was…

“Lara?”  A smile lit up his green eyes as he caught sight of her.  “Oh my GOD!” He hurried down the sidewalk towards her.

Lara’s heart stopped and she couldn’t move.  Everything in her told her to turn in run.  She wasn’t ready for this.  Not yet.  He was too handsome…too familiar. The green eyes still sparkled underneath the carefully tousled blond hair.  His skin was still soft and smooth looking, just right for her lips to press against.  His body was long and thin, and he still moved with the easiness of a man always comfortable in his surroundings.  This hurt. It hurt badly.  But she couldn’t turn away from him. Not him.

“Hello, Lance,” she finally said, smiling up at him.  “What a surprise.”

“Man, this is incredible.”  Lance hugged her tight, kissing the top of her head before pulling back.  “You are SUCH a sight for sore eyes.  What have you been up to?”

“Well, things are going pretty well.  I can’t complain or anything.  I just finished another book, and they’re talking about making the last one into a TV Movie of the Week, or something.”  Lara blushed.

“I knew it.  I knew it would happen.  Didn’t I always say it would happen?”  Lance pointed out, and Lara couldn’t help but smile.

“Yes…yes you did.  How about you?  How are things with the management company?”  Lara found that allowing him to talk instead of her was a lot easier. That way she could just watch him.

“It is incredible how well things are going.  Did you see Meredith win the Grammy?  I was so happy.”

“Yes, I saw that.”  Lara nodded.  “I’m so proud of you, Lance.”

“I’m proud of me, too,” he told her.  “I know you see Justin a lot…um…Chris is totally into his clothing line, and Joey has been working hard on this acting thing.  Ever since we broke up it has been acting this acting that.”  Lance laughed.  “JC is writing…I’m sure you knew that.”

“Yes…Erin told me,” she replied softly.  Lara wasn’t sure what else to say.

He smiled the special smile that he had always reserved just for her.  He pulled her into his arms again and she buried her face in his chest.  “God, Lara, I miss you,” he said, his voice husky.  Lara pulled back and opened her mouth to speak.

 

He said how’ve you been, it’s great to see you again, you’re really a sight for sore eyes/I said, I can’t complain, I’m doing fine/We talked as the people rushed by/We laughed about old times and all we went through/That’s when he hugged me and said I’ve missed you/And still, the world stood still/I couldn’t move and all I could feel was this aching in my heart/Saying I loved him still…

 

All kinds of words ran through Lara’s mind.  She wanted to slap him for letting things fall apart, wanted to apologize for the way SHE let them fall apart…wanted to ask why he couldn’t love her enough, wanted to know what she could have done to love him more…but all she could do was slowly nod.  The pain was intense, but pride won out.

“Lance?”  A woman put her hand on his arm and he turned around.

“Hey.”  He kissed the woman’s cheek.  “It’s about time you got back here.”  Lance moved to the side so the woman was next to him.  “Lara, this is my wife, Julie.  Julie, this is a dear old friend, Lara.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Julie said politely, holding out her hand.  Lara pasted on her very best smile and made herself take the hand in front of her.

“Nice to meet you, too.  How long have you been married now?”

“About four months,” Julie said, looking up at Lance and smiling.  Lance smiled as well, but he refused to meet Lara’s eyes.

“Well, Lara, it was great to see you and all, but it’s getting late.  I’m sure we’ll see you around, okay?”  Lance said, tucking Julie’s hand through his elbow.

“Yes…nice to meet you, Julie,” Lara said faintly.

“Bye now,” Julie said, smiling over her shoulder as they melted into the crowd once more.

Lara stood as if glued to the ground.  Married.  No one had told her.  Not even Justin, and she considered him a pretty good friend. Four months?  She had been out of the country then, but still.  SOMEONE should have told her.  Snow started to fall and she turned her face up to catch the flakes on her cheeks.  She took a deep breath, caught a snowflake on her tongue, then slowly turned and began to walk down the street.

 

That’s when she walked up to him, he said, this is my wife/I gave my best smile but I was dying inside/he said we gotta go now, it’s getting late, it was so good to see you/then they walked away/and still, the world stood still/I couldn’t move and all I could feel was this aching in my heart/Saying I loved him still…

 

The End

                                                                                                     

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